Friday, February 28, 2014

If You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers

As the Father of the New Order and Saviour of Highsec, and as an EVE rock star, I am the recipient of a great deal of mail. Commensurate with my exalted status, I don't respond to most of the mail I get. And yet, incredibly, I do read all of it. That's just one of the many ways I keep my finger on the pulse of highsec.

If you're still not impressed, check this out: On occasion, I do reply, even to random people. Random person Alex Doverhill sent me a series of six questions about the Code and the New Order that he was dying to have answered. I responded as follows:

Botting is the use of programs that violate the EVE ToS. "AFK" means being away from keyboard. Bot-aspirancy is when a player attempts to become as much like a bot as possible, without necessarily breaking any rules. A bot-aspirant would likely use botting to automate their gameplay, if it were allowed. Being AFK while playing EVE often goes hand-in-hand with bot-aspirancy, but not always. For example, it is perfectly fine to be AFK while docked in a station.

(On a related note: Much controversy erupted recently when someone dug up a quote from one of my earliest MinerBumping posts, which was on the subject of AFK cloaking. The quote read:
"First of all, we can note that nowhere in the Code does it say anything about AFK cloaking--or any other AFK activity other than AFK mining. Once again, this makes perfect sense. We would not, for example, threaten to bump someone who was AFK while docked in a station. Nor is it bot-aspirant behavior to be AFK while docked. Mining in highsec is the only situation in which being AFK is problematic."
Rebels and skeptics argued this was directly contradicted by more recent actions taken by the New Order against AFK autopiloters and others. Is there a contradiction here? Not at all. The point of the quote is that only AFK mining is inherently bot-aspirant. Other AFK activities are forbidden by the Code if they carry with them elements of bot-aspirancy.

For example, AFK autopiloting in an untanked vessel such as a shuttle or freighter is bot-aspirant, because it assumes the pilot is 100% safe in highsec and has no need of a tank. Similarly, a blingy mission-runner who fits for maximum decadence instead of tank is a bot-aspirant. If you can go AFK and not commit the offense of bot-aspirancy (e.g., by heavily tanking a cheap ship and carrying minimal cargo), more power to you. By contrast, AFK mining is always bot-aspirant, even if done by a heavily-tanked miner who owns a permit. The Code is very clear on this. Now, back to the questions.)

Players with less than 10 million isk are encouraged to raise funds by exploring other types of gameplay, such as running combat missions or scamming/begging in Jita.

The permit is the outward sign to the EVE community that a miner is not a bot-aspirant. Permits are only 10 million isk, and since they last 365 days, it is always economically rational to purchase one. (For example, if you lose a Hulk worth 300 million isk, that's equivalent to 30 years worth of mining permits. You would need to mine illegally for three decades just to break even.) Therefore, the only people who are unwilling to buy a permit are those who are so greedy and so unwilling to deviate from their pre-programmed expectations about the game, that they cannot bring themselves to pay. They are bot-aspirants.

I consider myself to have been voted in by the entire EVE community. I voted on everyone else's behalf. This was only necessary because the institutions required for a working democracy do not yet exist in highsec. I do not consider myself to be self-appointed, because I never would have cast everyone's votes for myself if I did not believe I was the right man for the job. I would have voted for someone else.

As the Father of the New Order and Saviour of Highsec, I am in charge of highsec as a whole. I am also the Supreme Protector of each individual highsec system (0.5 security and above). Originally, I was only Supreme Protector of Halaima, but my roles were expanded as the situation in highsec evolved.

Oh, I'm certainly against that.

Alex's excitement was palpable when he got my reply. Then he sent an additional five follow-up questions. Are you sitting down? I answered those, too.

My Agents and I very often encounter new players to teach them about the Code. Everyone learns in a different way, but we've found that it's best to provide players (new and old) with practical examples of why permits are needed.

Yes. Licensed mining costs 10 million isk per year. The loss of a 300 million isk Hulk carries the same cost as 30 mining permits, or three decades' worth.

The belts are already spoken for, by the New Order.

A foundation is normally found at the bottom, is it not?

In many ways, highsec mining--even with a permit--is no better than a necessary evil in EVE. In my judgment, it is a bad game mechanic because it is boring and requires little from the player. I would love to see an EVE without any highsec mining. Until that day comes, the New Order is willing to tolerate highsec mining, provided it is kept within the bounds of the Code.

Two Hundred Fourteen Billion in Shares Sold

The New Order loves new players, and we also love old ones. Greyhound Mist has been around since 2003, and so has her corp, Old Farts. Greyhound's years of experience gave her the wisdom to purchase 100 million isk of mining permits for her corp--and also 100 shares in the New Order. The purchase of shares was just enough to earn her a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. We've sold over 214 billion isk worth of shares now!

As a postscript, please be aware that New Order shares are not an in-game item. When Greyhound learned this, she respectfully requested a refund. Although that's not possible, I have a feeling she won't regret her purchase for a moment. Onward!

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Gistii with a Chance of Pithium, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Kalorned's heart was broken when he witnessed scads of bot-aspirants wasting their lives in the asteroid belts of highsec. Compassion motivated him to bump and gank non-compliants. But then he encountered an alpha carebear: A nearly decade-old miner:
Kalorned > Good Evening, you are currently mining in violation of The New Halaima Code of Conduct - I will now bump you from the belt until such a time that you become compliant.
formerjunkie > whats up Kalorned
formerjunkie > you're talking to 05 players
Faced with a player much older than himself, Kalorned was undaunted. He had faith that the New Order always wins.

He wasn't wrong. formerjunkie's Hulk went up in a plume of smoke. The smoke was more colorful than usual, since it contained the ashes of a Gistii B-Type Small Shield Booster and a Pithum C-Type Kinetic Deflection Amplifier.

Then the carebear's pod burst. I guess '05 players die as easily as any other miner.
Kalorned > Age has no bearing on compliancy
Krominal > Kill: formerjunkie (Hulk) Kill: formerjunkie (Capsule) No one is expect from a permit in New Order space
Ceruleanna Ae'restourre > STAY TRUE TO THE CODE
Ceruleanna Ae'restourre > AND THE CODE WILL STAY TRUE TO YOU
Kalorned > how true
They say "nothing succeeds like success". The best way to win the loyalty of highsec is to be good at what you do. Locals were impressed by the Agent's skill, and the New Order gained more adherents that day.

Not everyone was convinced yet, though. Kalorned learned of an emergency: A Gistum-fit rebel miner! The emergency resolved itself when Kalorned killed her.

Call me jaded, but I'm suspicious of any excuse for being AFK. Did the phone ring "just before" the attack? Was the miner really that unlucky? Or does he simply have a very liberal definition of "just before"--like, the phone rang only a few hours before the attack? Kalorned shrugged and went back to killing miners.
Dandrath Deninard > been away from the game better then 1 year whats this compliant stuff?
Leonidas Therm > its all bs
Krominal >
Leonidas Therm > krom is a retard
Krominal > YOu will receuve a message shortly explaining everything
Leonidas Therm > but he does look better with something in his mouth
Kalorned killed Dandrath Deninard, who feigned ignorance. Protip: Don't feign ignorance. It's only going to get you another lecture on the Code.
Leonidas Therm > lmao hes a idiot who couldnt win fights in newb space so hes trying this
Leonidas Therm > its a failure of a resume
Dandrath Deninard > seems to me if you are killing miners its because you can't killother real pilots
Krominal > We shoot miners who display bot aspirant behaviours
Krominal > We are hell bent on improving High Sec by all means possible
Dandrath Deninard > sounds like a lot of hot air but whatever
For someone who claimed not to know anything about the New Order, Dandrath sure had the latest smacktalk down pat. "Why don't you shoot at something that shoots back?" We've already busted that myth, friend.
Krominal > Dandrath Deninard WOuld you like to obtain a permit so we dont have to do this again in the future?
Dandrath Deninard > well if I just quit and don't bother playing I won't need a permit
Keraina Talie-Kuo > That's one option I suppose
Keraina Talie-Kuo > For only 10m though, youll be good to mine in all New Order space for one year however
Keraina Talie-Kuo > I personally feel its a better porposition than your solution
Dandrath Deninard > hey just got back to the game seems somethings never change
venture thebros > good ole sandbox games^^
Dandrath was faced with the same choice that all miners must make: Buy a New Order permit or quit mining. Or quit the game. Kalorned urged Dandrath to buy a permit. Worst case scenario, Dandrath could buy a permit and then quit the game.
Dandrath Deninard > you just blew up my ship I would say you got your 10 mil and then some
Keraina Talie-Kuo > Sure I did
Keraina Talie-Kuo > However that was punishment for not being compliant in the first place
Keraina Talie-Kuo > You still owe 10m ISK, the ISK has to be voluntarily paid to make the permit valid
Dandrath Deninard > seems to me you could have asked first
Attention all highsec miners: Consider this your official request. Pay up. If you don't send an Agent isk after reading this, you are considered non-compliant and subject to immediate termination.
Keraina Talie-Kuo > You already knew
Dandrath Deninard > like I said was away from the game
Keraina Talie-Kuo > After all, you supported The Code by way of voting for JAmes 315 as Saviour of High Sec
venture thebros > krom im disipointed u usally give them 20 secs or so before u blow them up
Krominal > venture thebros times are tough
Krominal > Something the rebels don't realize is that their resistance ham strings my ability to be more lenient
Kalorned pointed out a tragic side effect of the rebellion: It makes our Agents more likely to shoot quickly, so no one can interfere with the gank. Those rebels owe their fellow miners an apology.
Dandrath Deninard > when did this vote happen?
Leonidas Therm > it didnt its a troll
Keraina Talie-Kuo > Dandrath Deninard June 2012
Dandrath Deninard > yup well I was away from the game....mmmm wonder how I managed to vote
venture thebros > lol man they need a shrine to him in jita then ^^
Keraina Talie-Kuo > James 315 Voted on your behalf via proxy for himself
Dandrath Deninard > lol sounds like a dictater
venture thebros > hansome jack stile
Keraina Talie-Kuo > Well, James 315 is handsome
Keraina Talie-Kuo > I'll give you that
Borderland 2's main villian is a fellow named Handsome Jack. Dandrath made a novel comparison. I guess Handsome Jack can't be worse than Hitler, can he?

Despite his dazzling victories, Kalorned's work still wasn't done. He killed a fail-fit miner with a Gistii A-Type Small Shield Booster...

...And a Michi's Excavation Augmentor. The augmentor may be Michi's, but highsec is the New Order's. Just something you might want to think about the next time you're going over your shopping list in Jita.

At the end of it all, Kalorned felt truly blessed. He knew he had done good things for the bot-aspirants that day. If you're ever feeling overwhelmed by the amount of need in highsec, just remember, it's one day at a time. One carebear at a time, one explosion at a time. No miner left behind!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Gistii with a Chance of Pithium, Part 1

Some people say the New Order is a bunch of griefers. That's a funny thing to say. None of our Agents "grief"; I'd love to see evidence to the contrary. However, sometimes our Agents grieve for the miners. They look upon the carebears' plight and are deeply moved.

Agent Kalorned sent me a field report from the Gamis area. His pity for the miners practically leapt from the digital pages.

Enforcing the Code can be a very emotional experience. Seeing signs of bot-aspirancy all around him, Kalorned ached. But then he put on his game face and went out to do battle like the warrior he is.
Kalorned > Good Evening Jermiah Johnson, you are currently mining in violation of The New Halaima Code of Conduct - I will now bump you from the belt until such a time that you become compliant.
Krominal > Kill: Jermiah Johnson (Hulk) Kill: Jermiah Johnson (Capsule) Mining AFK in New Order space is not permitted
hillbilly kid > wasnt afk...
Kalorned > You failed to respond to my greeting
hillbilly kid > i didnt know who the fuck you are.
Professor Kaku > ignoring dicks does not equate to afk mining.... get a grip... get a life.... earn your own isk :)
Jermiah/hillbilly didn't know who Kalorned was before, but he knew now. Protip: If you're mining and someone claiming to be an Agent tells you to do something, you should probably do it.
Kalorned > I very clearly identified myself as an agent of The New Order of High Sec
Kalorned > what more is there to know
Mordon Kai > "you are currently mining in violation of The New Halaima Code of Conduct" AKA: pay me or get blown up coz im a jerk like that
hillbilly kid > i dont recognise any new order.
Kalorned > You should really start
Kalorned > 350m in losses is a very real thing
Kalorned > You could have avoided it by responding and becoming compliant
Mordon Kai > "a better high sec for all" would be for morons like you to get lost forever in null
Rebel miners don't accept our authority, but antimatter bullets don't need acceptance to penetrate a miner's hull. Denial is no substitute for compliance. Unless you want to be like one of those bots whose capsules keep going back and forth between the belt and the station after they get blown up.
Kalorned > Think of it like a tax
Kalorned > Its not blackmail for your country of choice to make you pay taxes or go to jail
Mordon Kai > yeah... its that "our space" ... if u wanna lay claim to "this space" go to null and lay a claim there... as far as i know this ia ammatar space
Kalorned > We let the ammatar have it as a formality- they get to pay all the bills
Kalorned > The New Order of High Sec are the real controllers of the space though
Fellow rebel Mordan Kai butted into the conversation and demanded the New Order go to nullsec, where sovereignty can be claimed. If you're a MinerBumping reader, you know what I would say to that...
Kalorned > It's kind of like Renters vs Parent alliances
Kalorned > Sure, technically brothers of tangra has sove of some 0.0 space
Kalorned > but in reality, the space is owned by Pandemic Legion
Shinbreaker > you guys have no Idea what a war actaully is so go null and how bout you find out
Mordon Kai > keep dreaming. i can garantee 100% you'll never get me to "pay for a permit to mine" IN HIGHSEC
Kalorned > Maybe not now
Kalorned > But were in this for the long haul
Kalorned > It's a marathon, not a sprint
Armed with the wisdom of the teachings of MinerBumping, Kalorned easily won the debate. The educated highsec resident knows that the majority of territorial claims in nullsec don't correspond to in-game sovereignty. The same holds for highsec, which is 100% New Order owned.

You can tell an Agent is an experienced bumper if he goes after the Skiffs. It doesn't matter how many hitpoints a Skiff has. The "permit tank" is the proper way to guard against EVE physics.
Kalorned > Good Evening Reid Morrison, you are currently mining in violation of The New Halaima Code of Conduct - I will now bump you from the belt until such a time that you become compliant.
Reid Morrison > thanks for the fraps video, see you on ccp petition
Kalorned > Friend, you lack a mining permit
Kalorned > I had no choice but to bump you out of range
Reid Morrison > I'm not your friend, i even don't know you
Kalorned > Everyone is my friend, friend
Reid did his best impression of Rodney King and started filming our Agent bump the non-compliants. By all means, miners should do this. If you're going to waste a GM's time with a frivolous petition, you may as well make it a multimedia experience.
Krominal > Kill: Josy White (Retriever) Kill: Josy White (Capsule) Mining without a permit in New Order space is not permitted
Reid Morrison > should i know be scared?
Kalorned > There is never reason to be scared
Kalorned > The New Order is here to help
Professor Kaku > he has to be polite... its part of his legal fidgeywidgeyness... however when people like me have sufficient evidence to back up the fact it is indeed discrimination, harassment and exploitation of new players (mainly) as they dont even adhere to their
Professor Kaku > own rules/stipulations
Kalorned > Why I never
The cynical rebel Professor Kaku claimed that our Agents are only polite because they're required by law. Nonsense. The EULA has nothing to do with it. Our Agents are polite because the New Order has class. In the same way, there's no law that requires the carebears to be raving lunatics.

This is what passes for a bio in the modern world of bot-aspirancy? No thanks. I'd rather stick with a good, wholesome "I pledge my loyalty to James 315, the New Order, and its Code..." Some things are traditional for good reason.

Having cleaned the mean streets of Gamis, Kalorned moved on to Juddi. What he found there would test his training to the limits.
Kalorned > Good Evening, you are currently mining in violation of The New Halaima Code of Conduct - I will now bump you from the belt until such a time that you become compliant.
formerjunkie > whats up Kalorned
formerjunkie > you're talking to 05 players
These weren't just any highsec miners: formerjunkie declared himself a 2005 player. With 9 years of highsec mining experience under his belt, he'd learned a thing or two. Things were about to get real.

To be continued...

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #51

Drip... drip... drip... Those teardrops you hear can only mean one thing: It's time for another edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

"Happy Asteroid Ltd" indeed. I appreciate the postscript explaining that his EVEmail was in reference to that whole New Order thing I've been doing. No wonder so many miners have been angry with me for the last year and a half!

En-Sabah Nuur has his own ideas on what will satisfy the New Order. I would recommend miners not try to get creative. The 10 million isk for a permit will be just fine.

It's not often I have to break out the Gray Pen, but NAVATORON was one of those miners who needs to be protected from himself. He criticized Agent jipjipjip beepbop for "hiding in his computer". Friend, my Agents are everywhere, but they're not literally inside computers.

In case you thought it was a verbal slip-up, NAVATORON confirmed that he thinks our Agents are hiding inside "computer boxes".

I guess NAVATORON thought he would fare better in a 1v1 duel in real life, so he gave Agent Boarat Saagdiyev his name and address to help them meet up. NAVATORON claims to be a musician. I don't know what genre he performs, but a lot of highsec miners like to sing the blues.

Groping for a metaphor, Raven Madder went for "afterbirth of a lesbian clusterfuck". Could this be the name of a powerful new nullsec coalition? I don't know if a "lesbian clusterfuck" would result in birth, but they're doing amazing things with science these days.

Zabian Black was podded in highsec by a member of CODE. alliance, but he thinks I presume too much. Some people need to be more careful about correcting me. It's usually a waste of their time.

Suspected botter and confirmed bot-aspirant Ark Zxr says you can get banned for accusing someone of botting without proof. He must be referring to some secret "I'm Rubber, You're Glue" clause in the EULA.

"Frightening night of his mug"? Weird. Most people rather enjoy my mug.

Aleks Petrov, I don't need to hear your life story. Every carebear's got excuses for violating the Code. Now let's start writing the chapter of your story where you follow the rules.

I need to get out to Chicago more often. I had no idea the city goes by the New Halaima Code of Conduct.

We have a lot of fun with the Goofuses, but it's always nice to read an EVEmail from a Gallant, isn't it?

Monday, February 24, 2014

The Ripple Effect

We've all heard the carebear classic, "As long as you're bumping me, you're not bumping anyone else." Sometimes carebears apply this particular bit of illogic to ganking, too. They say we can't possibly gank every miner in highsec. But we don't need to. When miners see the guy next to them explode, they take notice--sometimes.

Today we have a nice, happy field report from Agents Jared Lennox and iZaEaRl. Both of these gentlemen love the Code, and they share their love by killing non-compliant miners.
Marshal Alice > Hi
Marshal Alice > why do you kill him?
Jared Lennox > he didnt have a mining permit in NODD territory
iZaEaRl > Rejoice citizen of new eden for another ilegal miner has been killed
Marshal Alice > Uosusuokko is a NODD territory?
Jared Lennox > hail to james
Marshal Alice > is it?
Our heroes killed a bot-aspirant and were immediately contacted by a witness to their act of courage. It was an illegal miner named Marshal Alice. She was alarmed. Fortunately, she picked a great time to talk to our Agents about buying a permit: during their 15-minute aggression timer.

One quick look at the Agents' profiles and Marshal knew they were legit. iZaEaRl's bio contained a link to this image, originally drawn by Collin Dow. Like other New Order artwork, it has gone viral.
iZaEaRl > know one listened to james when he said the storm was coming on the first day the storm hit castting its eveil over high sec.
Jared Lennox > wanna be saved sister? join us ! pay the permit today and you will be saved
Marshal Alice > ok got it
iZaEaRl > it was only the 7th day when we band together as brothers and fought this evil
Marshal Alice > how much does permit costs?
Every miner is different. Some are interested in learning the finer points of the Code or where our authority comes from. Others go straight to the bottom line: How much isk?
Jared Lennox > 10million for 365 days
Jared Lennox > sounds like a good deal isnt it? instead of losing 300 million isk ships over and over again
iZaEaRl > worth it as long as it is in your bio and you are not afk you will not be ganked
Marshal Alice > how can i insure that i will be not ganked?
Marshal Alice > how can you check me afk or not?
Jared Lennox > you will put this on your bio and the agents will see you support james.
Jared Lennox > the agents will ask you questions on local
Jared Lennox > if you fail to respond in given amount of time you are violating the code
Marshal Alice > my english is not very good so i can type slow. what amount of time i would have?
Jared Lennox > every ganker's different
Even miners with permits must prove they are not AFK, when need be. Typically, a permit-carrying miner is given generous treatment. This stands in contrast to the unlicensed miner, who may be ganked without being asked to prove whether he's AFK. Such miners are given a warning--the warning of the last year and a half's MinerBumping posts.
Marshal Alice > ok got it, I have some questons
Jared Lennox > sure go ahead
Marshal Alice > may i mine safely in your territory? will your agents protect me if I ask?
Marshal Alice > can i safely mine ice or etc?
iZaEaRl > we wont protect but we wont gank you
Marshal Alice > so i will pay you just to not be ganked
Marshal Alice > 10m is not high price. ill take one permit
Marshal had her head screwed on straight and saw the economic rationality of buying a permit. A mining vessel could cost 300 million isk to lose, while a permit lasts a year for 10 million. Unless you can get away with mining illegally for three decades, it's not worth it to go unlicensed. And really, who needs the stress?
iZaEaRl > to follow the code the oath must be said
Marshal Alice > Ok Im ready to say the oath
iZaEaRl > aye Marshal Alice declare my allegiance to james 315
iZaEaRl > and the code
Marshal Alice > I, Marshal Alice, declare my allegiance to james 315 and the code
iZaEaRl > i Marshal Alice will never violate the code
Marshal Alice > I Marshal Alice will never violate the code
iZaEaRl > nor will i trash talk in local
Marshal Alice > nor will i trash talk in local
There's no extortion involved with the Code. If we were only interested in money, we would pass out permits like candy, take a bunch of isk, and move on. Instead, we coach the new members of our family to follow all of the Code's provisions.
iZaEaRl > i fully accept that i will never be redeemed as one of the pure
iZaEaRl > and when the time comes to enter the second life i will be left behind
Marshal Alice > I fully accept that i will never be redeemed as one of the pure, and when the time comes to enter the second life I will be left behind
iZaEaRl > and will worship the holy the almighty
iZaEaRl > James315
Marshal Alice > and will worship the holy the almighty James315
iZaEaRl > welcome sister on new eden
Jared Lennox > HAIL JAMES
Marshal Alice > Yea, hail james
Each Agent adds his or her own little flourishes to the permit-acquisition process. It's actually not necessary for a miner to "worship" me, and contrary to what you might have heard, I never claimed divinity. However, a pledge of loyalty is definitely recommended. I appreciate the enthusiasm of all our Agents.

Marshal Alice proved that a miner doesn't need to be ganked to learn compliance. Tears don't always need to be shed. Those who are willing to learn from the mistakes of other miners can save a lot of money and heartache. In the end, no matter how much they may protest, every man, woman, and child in highsec will obey the Code. It's only a question of what they'll have to suffer before that day comes.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Kills of the Week

Fair warning, readers. Some of what you're about to see may sicken you. If you have a weak stomach, this might be a good post for you to skip. Take a day to enjoy some older MinerBumping posts and rejoin us next time. As for the rest of you, the following are some notable kills that took place during the week of February 16th @ 00:00 EVEtime through February 22nd @ 23:59 EVEtime.

Let's ease into this with a nice Orca kill. Fox Samantha lost an anti-tanked Orca whose valuable lowslots were occupied by Inertia Stabilizers for some reason. Maybe she wanted to be able to align quickly in case of a gank. Just giving her the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately there's no way to excuse her for fitting the very first triple Sensor Boosted Orca I've ever seen--and yes, those are all Scan Resolution scripts for the best possible lock-time.

Agents Sarthana, loyalanon, Morganta, Vic Jefferson, Sophia Soprano, Schlampa, Rikii, Jaxx Daniel, eattttttt me, and unknown boat were responsible for this kill. Well, I suppose Fox Samantha herself was kinda responsible, too.

Bosal is a member of the Strike Knights Miners corp. Maybe he's dyslexic, because shouldn't it be Knights Strike Miners? Take a guess what Bosal was using this Raven for. Mining? No. Ratting? Missioning? No and no. Ladies and gentlemen, this was actually a suicide gank fit. Bosal attempted to kill Agent Alyth Nerun, who was minding his own business bumping miners and telling them what to do. Bosal attacked Alyth without provocation and got CONCORDed for his trouble. I don't know what they're putting in the ice these days, but it seems every week we see a new "Worst Gank Fit Ever" kill.

Starting to feel a little nauseous yet? Jigue yoshi'sfault had no one but himself to blame for this mining Armageddon fit. In case you're curious, that rig is a tracking enhancer for large energy weapons. Jigue, I don't think a mining laser counts as an energy weapon.

Recently we had some rebels telling people that they can defeat the New Order by mining in battleships. Agents loyalanon, Jared Lennox, Throatslashar, iZaEaRl, Sophia Soprano, Belana Mawr, and Gank Gank weren't defeated, but they were disgusted by the bot-aspirancy of it all.

Our Agents were notified that Ellie Moons had gone AFK next to a stargate in a Machariel. Ellie's fit may mystify you. I'm guessing it's for scanning and bumping freighters. Hey, I'm all for freighter ganking. Bot-aspirants often fly freighters. But Ellie didn't have a permit, and he was just as guilty as any freighter pilot of assuming no one could touch him while he was AFK in New Order territory. You can accuse the New Order of many things, but not hypocrisy.

Agents Dreadchain, Hansy Babes, Destroyerofdreams, howling wind, DiaLatho, Thomas Rippentius, loyalanon, Desmond Strickler, Pod-Goo Repairman, Sophia Soprano, Aaaarrgg, and Throatslashar arrived at the scene and did what had to be done.

Capt Under lost 3.3 billion isk worth of implants when Agent Aaaarrgg popped him. You know the drill--Capt Under was AFK autopiloting. Not in a shuttle, though. He was autopiloting in a freighter. Our Agents took care of that, too.

You know how I said earlier that our Agents support freighter ganking? Anthon Dubec learned it the hard way. He put everything he owned--over 14 billion isk worth of possessions--into a freighter. He promptly went AFK. No sir. Not in my highsec.

Agents loyalanon, DiaLatho, Maestro Ulv, Sarthana, Sophia Soprano, Desmond Strickler, Aaaarrgg, Pod-Goo Repairman, Jared Lennox, iZaEaRl, Nanny State, Throatslashar, Luck Of-The-Irish, norema Uitra, and Santisma Muerte rallied for yet another spectacular attack this week and set Anthon back to square one. Assuming he doesn't quit EVE, maybe in his next career he'll choose to play the game in a manner that respects the Code--and not in a manner that ignores it.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Carebear and Child Care

I could awkwardly attempt to shoehorn in the following image to the theme of this post, but honestly, I'm just putting it here because I like it.

The artist is Lord Kailethre. You can view the full-size banner here. Now let's move on to the topic of today's discussion. How do you mine in highsec and raise small children in a responsible manner?

Over the past two months, I've noticed a spike in the number of people complaining about New Order gankers killing their children. If you've been reading MinerBumping the past several weeks, you've probably noticed it, too. (Maybe this is what people mean by "newbies" mining in highsec. We've dealt with "new players" who have been playing EVE longer than Linklight's child has been alive.)

Linklight's EVEmail hinted that he didn't want to follow the "no AFK mining" rule, because his 4 year-old couldn't respond in local. I will not be bribed. It's true that his 4 year-old cried when he lost his father's Hulk, but as I've said before, that makes him no different from any other carebear who loses a ship.

Highsec carebears have such a warped view of EVE. They think the rules should be changed to accommodate 4 year-old players. When was the last time someone stopped a battle in nullsec because someone wanted to let their 4 year-old command the fleet?

I fear Linklight's refusal to follow the rules could be a character defect that he passes down to his child. Criminal tendencies often run in families. And yet, there is hope. All it takes to break the cycle is for one member of the family to embrace the values of the Code. Speaking of hope, check out the next EVEmail:

Inspired by another pro-Order corporation, Strict Mother gained the courage to stand up for the Code and clean up her neighborhood.

When your child tells you, "But all my friends' parents let them mine AFK," take a page from Strict Mother's book. She's not going to let the culture of rampant bot-aspirancy in highsec destroy her family. Neither should you.

Peer pressure can feel overwhelming at times, but that's no reason to abdicate your parental responsibilities. In any case, antimatter is more powerful than peer pressure.

Among the Code-violators killed by Strict Mother was Hulk pilot Sheyta Mey. Sheyta fell victim to the PLEX-centered lifestyle. Strict Mother wasn't buying it. She centers her EVE career around the Code.

Sheyta, it would seem, thinks she's the second coming of CCP t20. As a former GM, she threatened to use her influence against Soccer Moms of New Eden corp, unless paid 500 million isk. A former GM, eh? I wonder how CCP could have let her go.

You think Strict Mother is going to be intimidated by a former GM? Not likely! You know what the difference is between a Soccer Mom of New Eden and a pitbull? Lipstick.

In closing, Strict Mother asked me to bless the Soccer Mom of New Eden's children and operation. Of course I did.

I'm often asked to bless things in highsec. It's flattering of course, and shows a healthy respect for the office of Saviour of Highsec. But the truth is, as Strict Mother showed, the real power is within everyone who has the courage to stand up for what they believe in--assuming their beliefs are consistent with the Code.