Sunday, August 31, 2014

Kills of the Week

Citizen, have you ever wondered what it would be like to participate in a New Order freighter ganking fleet? Agent enterprisePSI recorded some footage while participating in such a fleet last week. Watch the action for yourself! Spoiler Alert: Expensive stuff gets blown up, and despite the fact that it's all predictably in the Uedama system, rebels can't do a thing to stop it.

Now let's see some nice kills from the week of August 24th @ 00:00 EVEtime through August 30th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

A lot of expensive freighters were popped this week, including LittleBar's 8.5 billion isk autopiloting Providence. But my favorite freighter kill is clockodile's Providence, valued by zKillboard at 4.3 billion isk. clockodile triple-anti-tanked his freighter so he could have enough cargo space to carry two BPOs. You can carry those blueprints in anything but a pod, yet clockodile couldn't spare a lowslot on his freighter for a little tank. Classic bot-aspirancy.

Yikes! Sleeth Carrigan's speed-fit jump freighter was dogpiled by 24 Catalysts and 2 Brutixes. You can't outrun justice in highsec--not anymore. Over ten and a half billion isk was vaporized in the attack. How do you accumulate that much wealth and not know how to fit your ship? Really, an overdrive on a jump freighter?

Sleeth's cargo included nearly 2 billion isk worth of laser crystals. Was it really necessary for Sleeth to carry around so many of them? Freighter and jump freighter pilots, the next time you're preparing to transport goods around highsec, ask yourself these questions: "Do I really need to make this trip? Would James 315 approve? Is my license up-to-date?" That way you can avoid returning to your keyboard and asking other questions, like, "Where did my 10.6 billion isk jump freighter go? Can I petition this?"

One of the most gruesome spectacles this week was marvo minner's 5.1 billion isk Orca. It was tanked, sure--with a bunch of expensive modules. That's like trying to avoid getting mugged by wearing body armor made of cashier's checks. In New Order territory, modesty beats decadence every time, especially when you refuse to pay me 10 million isk for a permit. marvo's motto was, "Billions for bling, but not one isk to the king." Look where that kind of thinking got him.

Aigel put E.B.O.L.A. back in the headlines with a fail-fit 1.1 billion isk Mackinaw ORE Development Edition. At least the ship had plenty of capacitor and CPU. Before it exploded, I mean.

You know how carebears always complain about the New Order ganking ships that can't shoot back? Vincenzo Castigliane's armed-to-the-teeth faction battleship had plenty of guns. Contrary to popular opinion, guns and money aren't enough to win a fight. You need heart. And the Agents of the New Order have the most generous hearts I've ever seen. Vincenzo lost his 2.5 billion isk Vindicator, along with a 400 million isk pod, for a total loss of about 3 billion isk. No matter how many weapons you bring against us, the CODE always wins.

Speaking of the CODE always winning, Agent Rabe Raptor's reported that on August 27th, the CODEdot alliance exceeded 6 trillion isk in all-time inflicted damage.

Putting this into perspective, Rabe noted the following tallies of ships destroyed by CODEdot since it was founded, just over a year and a half ago:

Mining Barges killed: 10,727
Exhumers killed: 6,706
Orcas killed: 371
Freighters killed: 418
Jump Freighters killed: 21
Capsules killed: 15,132

Think about that. Tens of thousands of EVE players have been helped by CODEdot. We're making a difference in highsec. Can you feel it? Those people we killed sure did.

Special thanks to those who contributed their antimatter to the featured kills this week: Agents 412nv Yaken, Aaaarrgg, Anal Canal, Angry Garsk, ATM Pro Asanari, Bishop Hudson, Bone Dome, Catelyn Stoneheart, D400, Desmond Strickler, DJentropy Ovaert, Doomchinchilla, ELicken, Gino Rinehard, grebnedlog kram, hellyeaz, Jerry Rin, John E Normus, Kain Felmont, karma balancer, Krios Elchamino, Lady Ati, Levi Holdings Stoffer, Likeable Lulls, loyalanon, Luck Of-The-Irish, Michele Bachmann, Mildron Klinker, Nanny State, Nitetime Video, Olivia Hardrocks, Pine Onzo, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, Rabe Raptor, Rakeris, reaper Shardani, Shhh Don'tSeeMe, Six Beavers, Snarky Samaritan, Supremacyy, the reaverkiller, Unmirth Mirthyful, Vik Flagge, Walter Kramer, and Yucan Blome.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Falcon Punch: CCP Fights for Its Soul

The buzz is all over EVE-O. Everyone is talking about it. They're calling it the "Falcon Punch".

No, not that kind of Falcon Punch. This kind of Falcon Punch:

To begin with, a little background info. The New Order's crusade to revive the practice of suicide ganking has been tremendously successful. The carebears have had enough, and they're begging CCP to put a stop to it. The evidence is all over the official EVE forums:

Marathon tear threads have been posted. I've got news for all the carebears who have reached their limit: We're only getting started. We're just getting warmed up! The latest complaint thread, started by Duchess Amarrian, blames CCP for not providing enough protection in highsec. Duchess cried:
"Last night my hauling ship got blown sky high. I was flying a prorator and doing some deliveries. The person that shot me down organised it really well by setting up contracts and sucking in the person accepting the contract. I wont go into detail here. As i was making the delivery and just 1 second from being docked into station my ship got blown sky high. From what ? a minmitar Battleship that was so many km's away. It took 2 people to stop me.

I keep hearing that ccp wil be doing something about this. I've just had enough of it. Seriously I'm trying to find some fun in this game and seeing that the others always have the edge over miners and haulers in high sec is a real joke. I don't mind if it had happened in low sec and null but when your playing by ccp rules to me it seems there are no rules and high sec is really a joke.

At the very least give miners and haulers some big guns like you give others and maybe will balance things well."
The next few pages contained the usual EVE General Discussion fare. But things got interesting when CCP Falcon jumped into the ring:
"Why should CCP provide protection for your haulage in high sec?

CONCORD offer a level of deterrent just the same as any law enforcement agency, but as with any police for they're reactive and punitive rather than proactive.

If you want your haulage to be safer, bring the guns. If you don't have any guns, sacrifice some of your profit margin and hire someone who has them to escort you.

Welcome to New Eden, you just learned a very valuable lesson in being prepared and covering your back.

It was a stunning rebuke--from a CCP developer and community manager, no less! But the carebears weren't going to let up. Quoting Duchess Amarrian's comment that "high sec is really a joke", fellow bot-aspirant Kiandoshia replied, "This, essentially."

CCP Falcon responded:
"Being unprepared and putting all your eggs in one basket to make a nice juicy target for a suicide gank is the joke here, not highsec.

There are a multitude of ways to protect yourself from suicide gankers, people just automatically assume they're "safe" in highsec, then get annoyed when they lose a ship because of their own lack of spatial awareness."

Falcon Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!

Sensing the momentum had shifted against them, the carebears rallied and began trotting out the old "gankers have no risk" myth. Syn Shi bitterly complained:
"Gankers have already accepted the fact that they are going to lose a cheap ship. There is no deterrent for them at all. Risk is a myth that CCP keeps preaching hoping some will drink the cool-aid. Only thing left is reward and acceptable losses. Acceptable losses are easily replaced, just buy more plex. Telling new players there is something they can do is just lying to their face and hoping that they believe long enough to buy another plex."
Normally this is where everyone would surrender to the carebears' faulty logic. Not CCP Falcon. Not this time. He wrote back:
"Tell that to all the guys who suicide gank someone, and end up making a heavy loss because everything they wanted to loot gets destroyed in the ship destruction.

By this point, a crowd was forming. Onlookers couldn't believe their eyes as CCP Falcon knocked out one carebear after the next. Yet the whiny miners kept crawling out of the woodwork. Sentient Blade continued preaching the "no risk" myth:
"Risk vs Reward doesn't really apply to gankers ol boy. It's cost vs reward, a straight equation weighted massively towards reward. Risk implies a probability of something happening, which is increased if you're not paying attention. A hauler takes risks. A ganker knows he or she is going to lose their ship, exactly how much it will cost, and a fair approximation of what will drop and be recoverable."
Was CCP Falcon going to let that nonsense slide? Not a chance:
"Because he's prepared himself, done the work and knows exactly what he's doing, how to achieve his objective, and knows the risk if the stuff he wants doesn't drop.

I say fair play to him if he cuts a profit from someone who's half-assed a ship fitting and AFK hauled across space with a sizeable chunk of ISK in their hold.

Honestly, doing that in EVE is like dressing up in red, diving into the ring with a bull and complaining when you spend six weeks in hospital because you got the horns.

This might be internet spaceships, but it's not rocket science to protect yourself and fly with a little common sense."
Ouch! Still, the miners and AFK haulers of highsec had one last card to play. It's the carebear's doomsday weapon: The argument that if CCP doesn't continue to make highsec safer, everyone will leave the game and CCP will go out of business. Showing truly wretched form, carebear Tam Althor threatened CCP Falcon, tell him he'll lose his job if ganking isn't nerfed for the umpteenth time:
"Remember CCP Falcon, the level of protection that concord provides players is the same level of job protection you have when the high sec players decide to quit. Will you survive the next 20% layoff when it happens?"
It was a disgusting comment to make, and so typical of the toxic, entitled carebear attitude. What CCP Falcon said next would go down in EVE-O history:

CCP Falcon wrote:
"I love EVE and the core of what the game stands for. That's why I've been dedicated to it and its community for over 11 years now.

Risk vs Reward is a huge part of that.

Honestly, if that changed, and the game started to soften out and cater to those who want to have their hand held all the way through their gameplay experience, I'd rather not be working on the project regardless of how many subscribers we had, than sell out the core principles that New Eden was built on.

That's a sentiment that I hear a lot around the office, because we are all invested in what makes New Eden so compelling - The dark, gritty, hard reality beneath the pretty ships and nebulas.

EVE is built on the core principle that you are never 100% safe, no matter where you go or what you do. When you interact with another player, you roll the dice on whether they're going to screw you over or not. That's a massive part of the social engineering behind the very basic underpinnings of the EVE Universe.

Sorry, but your scaremongering counter argument makes no sense to me and carries no weight :)"

'Twas the Falcon Punch heard 'round the world. You can see it clear as day: the New Order philosophy, grounded in the Code and built upon the foundation of its Saviour's Manifestos. It is alive today, even in the corridors of CCP headquarters. This didn't just happen. We made it happen.

Deflated carebear DeMichael Crimson moped, "Well, that wasn't surprising. Thanks for confirming Eve Online has turned into Grief Online." CCP Falcon smiled and wrote back,
"Suicide ganking has always been possible. Nothing's changed for 11 years. Sorry to burst your bubble, but EVE hasn't changed in this respect."

Agents of the New Order, take another victory lap. We're fighting the good fight. We're fighting for the future of highsec and all EVE. And you know what? We're winning.

Friday, August 29, 2014

One Night in Leremblompes, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Rebel carebear Antiuk spent six years mining illegally in highsec. Then, just in the nick of time, Agent Mildron Klinker showed up and blasted the miner's Retriever. Offered the chance to get a permit, Antiuk refused on the grounds that Mildron didn't follow his own Code.
Antiuk > I am following the drill
Antiuk > and you didnt follow it
Antiuk > Cos you didnt initiate conversation in local to make sure I wasnt afk farming or didnt want to purchase a permit
Mildron Klinker > i followed my code of conduct, so if you want to complain about it... well, you know the drill
Antiuk > Mildron
Antiuk > kiss my arse
Antiuk > if you had followed your code i would
Despite being one of the mouthier miners Mildron had encountered, Antiuk claimed he would've purchased a permit if only he'd been asked. Attention all miners, past, present, and future: You're being asked right now. Send us your money.
Mildron Klinker > please keep local clean
Antiuk > kiss
Antiuk > my
Antiuk > white
Antiuk > hairy
Antiuk > cheeks
Antiuk > with soap
Mildron Klinker > just behave my friend, really, it's alot nicer
Antiuk > Mildron Klinker you say I dont behave?
Antiuk > Well perhaps you should learn to behave
Antiuk > need I remind you of YOUR OWN CODE
Talking to Antiuk was like talking to a wall. He couldn't get past his anger about Agent Mildron "violating" the Code.
Antiuk > - If a miner does not wish to purchase a mining indulgence, he may still be granted a one-day reprieve, if he is able to correctly answer the Supreme Protector's Questions Three.
Antiuk > i was not granted such
Leo Kovalenski > did you answer all three questions?
Antiuk > i wasnt asked them
Antiuk > i was just blown to smithereens
Mildron Klinker > well, you should have read that BEFORE you started to mine in our saviours Highsec
Antiuk > fuck you
The relationship between Antiuk and Mildron reached its lowest point yet. Most people would give up, assuming Antiuk would never pay for a permit. Mildron cared too much. He knew well the New Order motto, "No miner left behind."
Antiuk > I wasnt offerd shit
Antiuk > I was just gnked
Leo Kovalenski > you didnt even do the thing...
Antiuk > I didnt get to do the thing
Antiuk > I jsut got insta gibbed
Antiuk continued to fume about not being given the chance to answer the Questions Three. But let's be honest here--what are the odds Antiuk could've gotten those questions right, anyway? He probably thinks the Nile is the largest river in the world.
Oberyn Rodregas > why is he your savior?
Mildron Klinker > Oberyn Rodregas he's yours too
Mildron Klinker > just check out and it's all explained in there
Antiuk > Basically Oberyn Rodregas
Antiuk > He cant think for himself
Antiuk > so he gonks miners cos they dont fight back
Antiuk > to make himself feel big
Antiuk > that clear enoug hfor you? :)
The argument between the Agent and the non-compliant attracted the attention of everyone in Leremblompes local. This is always a victory for the New Order, as it inevitably brings the Code to the attention of more miners.
Antiuk > oh cos some guy tells him hes their "saviour"
Mildron Klinker > well, somebody has to protect our beloved Highsec and the treasures inside
Oberyn Rodregas > I am starting to think that EVE is some form of social experiment
Antiuk > Listen to what hes saying
Antiuk > Hes a fucking fruitloop
Antiuk > who cant even follow his own code
As Mildron attempted to speak the message of the New Order to more receptive ears, Antiuk tried to poison everyone else against it. What would Antiuk know about the benefits of the Code, anyway? He's never tried to follow it.
Irisong Solette > Antiuk...this is a game...give it a rest please...not like they burned down your house or torched your car while you were driving down the road
Mildron Klinker > I followed the CODE at the letter, you didn't so this is the result: Kill: Antiuk (Retriever) . Get over it, buy a permit and life goes on.
Antiuk > Dude, no one will buiy your "permit"
Irisong Solette > ive seen people with permits
Antiuk > then they are fucking idiots
Antiuk briefly flirted with denialism, claiming no one has ever purchased a permit. It's a little late for carebears to trot out that old lie, though. Even random passersby in Leremblompes knew better.
Mildron Klinker > James 315 is our Supreme Protector
Antiuk > meaning a miner would have to be offered a purchase
Irisong Solette > ok so according to that code...a miner should contact James 315 before mining to get the reprieve...correct?
Antiuk > No basically, if you dont want to purchase a permit
Antiuk > You get asked 3 question within a 24 hour period
Antiuk > you get ganked in 7 minutes
Antiuk > 24 hours = 7 minutes in the saviours eyes
Antiuk > The code should shove itself... up its own arse
As Antiuk went through his objections to the Code, other residents of the system studied the Code and found flaws in his argument. The Code was sound.
Irisong Solette > sorry Antiuk, but your argument doesnt hold any water...
Antiuk > dude
Antiuk > liek i give a shit what u 2 gays say
Antiuk > permits r for fags
Antiuk > Irisong Solette you dont know my argument either so you can take your comment and shoive it up James 315 arse with your cock
The toxicity of the rebel miner always reveals itself. Anyone who didn't agree with Antiuk was assumed to be his enemy. One of the reasons for the lack of organized rebellion in highsec is that the rebels have a difficult time making friends; they prefer to insult one another at the slightest provocation.
Mildron Klinker > Antiuk i still need to ask you to keep local clean please. behave like you are an adult if possible.
Antiuk > And again, I will tell you to go fuck yourself
Antiuk > your not my parent
Antiuk > If your so young Mildron that the word fuck offends y
Antiuk > I suggest getting off the internet
Antiuk > cos I fucked my wife the other day
By this stage of the conversation, Mildron began to prepare himself for the possibility that Antiuk might not be purchasing a permit that day.
Antiuk > Or if like me, u couldnt give a fuck spurt all the shit you want and corrupt his eyeballs til they melt
Antiuk > Its just funny reading his bullshit
Antiuk > - If a miner does not wish to purchase a mining indulgence, he may still be granted a one-day reprieve, if he is able to correctly answer the Supreme Protector's Questions Three.
Antiuk > BOOM
Antiuk > overwrites his gay ass indulgences
Leo Kovalenski > "MAY" in english this is synonymous with "maybe" or "at his mercy tbh"
Antiuk > Leo last time i read the dictionary it didnt define to "at his mercy tbh"
Antiuk > even gonkers have a code
The consensus in Leremblompes grew: Antiuk had no claim for relief under the Code. He was guilty.
Antiuk > he preaches a code he does not follow
Antiuk > so it doesnt make him right... he should stop preaching shit and go freelance
Leo Kovalenski > i dont care about your loss... i thought about contracting you a retriever from my hangar, but you seem crazy tbh
Antiuk > Dude i replaced my ship
Antiuk > thats not an issue
Antiuk > cos he preaches shit he cant follow
Leo Kovalenski > you seemed so mad
Leo Kovalenski > for so long
Antiuk > its in black and white on his website
Antiuk > Im not mad
Antiuk > why u think i keep pasting that rule.. Why preach his rules that he cant follow? AN amagad praching about a "saviour" over the interwebs
Agent Mildron had responsibilities to attend to elsewhere, so retired from the system. It seemed no permits would be sold to the unruly Antiuk. But the next day he received a convo request. It was from Antiuk.

Incredibly, Antiuk had a change of heart. As I've said on so many occasions, the wallets of our Agents are filled with the isk of those who would "never" pay. And I have also said this: The CODE always wins.

There isn't a man, woman, or child in highsec who won't eventually find their way into the New Order family. I noticed that Antiuk does not have a pledge of loyalty to me in his bio, so his journey toward compliance may not be finished yet. But I'm proud of the progress he's made thus far. Aren't you?

Thursday, August 28, 2014

One Night in Leremblompes, Part 1

There's an old saying, "You should never judge a book by its cover." However, on the other extreme, it would be silly to withhold all judgment until you've read every last word of a book. Once you've read far enough, you can start to make intelligent judgments about the book as a whole.

So it is with the miners of highsec. The New Order has dealt with enough miners to be able to draw some sweeping conclusions. For example, when Agent Mildron Klinker encountered Antiuk's fail-fit Retriever, he knew Antiuk was in desperate need of the Code.
Antiuk > lol mildron
Antiuk > i got all my ore back
Antiuk > so erm your suicide gank
Antiuk > yeah...
Antiuk > WORTH
Mildron Klinker > i dont think you have it back ;-)
Antiuk > 2.8 mil out of 2.9 mil recovered
Antiuk > so yeah
Antiuk > fuck you
Ten minutes after being ganked, Antiuk made a triumphant return to his keyboard. Despite losing his Retriever, he was rather pleased with himself.
Mildron Klinker > oh well, Kill: Antiuk (Retriever) need to replace that first ;-)
Antiuk > i have
Antiuk > insurance + alliance funds
Antiuk > so again
Antiuk > FUCK
Antiuk > YOU
Mildron Klinker > please keep local clean
Antiuk > kiss my arse
Antiuk > stupid pirate cocksucker
Let's return to the subject about judging books by covers. Having seen Antiuk's Retriever fit, and his reaction to being ganked, what conclusions would you draw about him? The length of his EVE career? His corp affiliation, if any?

You might be surprised. Antiuk has been playing EVE since 2008. Most of that six-year period has been spent mining in highsec. He is the CEO of a 30-member corp. The lesson to be learned here is that all highsec miners are pretty much the same. Young or old, NPC corp member or CEO, they are all useless apart from the Code.
Antiuk > learn to gonk with style
Antiuk > or go low sec
Antiuk > at least make sure u get the booty
Antiuk > to cover your costs
Mildron Klinker > lol, i actually made a profit :D
Having lost his 1v1 duel with Mildron, Antiuk nevertheless saw fit to give him some advice. Antiuk was a veteran player, after all.
Antiuk > sure
Antiuk > 100k
Antiuk > to cover that ship
Antiuk > and ammo and weapons
Mildron Klinker > i dont pay for ships
Antiuk > oh sorry forgot eve gives u free ships
Antiuk > and weapons
Antiuk > and kit
Antiuk > and ammo
Antiuk > they have a "Bad pirate fund"
Mildron Klinker > actually, James 315 does indeed ;-)
Antiuk > course he does
Antiuk has spent many years in the Leremblompes system. Somehow he managed to avoid learning about the New Order and highsec's Saviour. This is why Agents move around so much. If the carebears won't come to us, we will go to them.
Antiuk > well
Antiuk > mildron
Antiuk > 1 month of global kill rights
Antiuk > at 0 cost
Mildron Klinker > Antiuk congrats, no use to anybody :D
Antiuk > except u have 29 days of not being able to fly without being freee ganked
Mildron Klinker > euhm, you want to see my list ? :P
Leo Kovalenski > Mildron Klinker happens to be -10 with a 300M+ bounty... killrights are a poor consolation, sorry Antiuk
Antiuk > But setting it global will make me feel better
Antiuk was forced to admit that he experienced total defeat. But let's be real: Someone willing to spend 6 years mining in highsec is bound to have a high tolerance for pain. He shrugged off the loss and sucked on the pacifier of killrights.
Leo Kovalenski > maybe someone will convince him to "elite PvP" in a Macariel :)
Antiuk > Doubt it
Antiuk > that requires skill :P
Antiuk > and PvPers fight back
Mildron Klinker > hey, are you a player ?
Mildron Klinker > it's called Player vs Player, so, yeah, Elite PVP ;-)
Antiuk > Yeah but pvp means they fight back
The miner was ignorant (or feigned ignorance) about the Code, but he was very up-to-date with the latest in carebear philosophy. He wallowed in self-pitying complaints about gankers shooting people who "can't fight back". Because he was unwilling to fight back, he didn't even consider himself a "player"!
Antiuk > anwyays
Antiuk > Where was my one day reprieve?
Antiuk > Iwasnt excessive mining
Antiuk > - If a miner does not wish to purchase a mining indulgence, he may still be granted a one-day reprieve, if he is able to correctly answer the Supreme Protector's Questions Three.
Antiuk > i didnt get my questions
Antiuk > nor a reperieve
Antiuk > u just came in and gayed it up
Antiuk > read your own rules
At last, Antiuk opened his mind to the joys of the Code. He cited a provision allowing miners to get a 24-hour mining pass if they can answer the Supreme Protector's Questions Three.
Antiuk > I WANT my fucking ship
Antiuk > and questions
Reading the Code is a fine thing, but understanding it is even better. Antiuk felt he was somehow entitled to something, despite the fact that he'd never answered the Supreme Protector's Questions Three.
Mildron Klinker > you can contact our Surpreme Protector, and he will give you your questions
Antiuk > give me his name
Antiuk > im going to speak to him
Antiuk > give it up
Mildron Klinker > James 315 is the person you can contact for the questions, Antiuk
Antiuk > is he online now?
Mildron Klinker > and if i did something wrong, he will be happy to reimburse your ship too. Might need to send him a mail though
Antiuk > Oh im gunna, im fairly certain u warping in and ganking me
Antiuk > isnt a one day reprieve
Now the carebear considered himself an expert in the Code. Everyone knows that if you're stopped by a police officer, you don't lecture him about law enforcement. Nor do you tell him you'll report him to the chief and "have his badge". In New Order territory, Agents of the New Order are even more powerful than police officers. Why would you give them less deference?
Leo Kovalenski > if anyone in this system is not being ganked by Mildron Klinker and would like free max orca bonuses, just let me know.
Irisong Solette > funny thing about hisec...
Irisong Solette > after living in null for a while previously...i feel safer there
Irisong Solette > at least their i know who is out to get me :D
Mildron Klinker > hehehe, i go out there and i hardly meet anybody, in highsec, i meet alot of people, some are happy, some are not, right Antiuk ?
Antiuk > Some of us get raped by u not following your own code of conduct
Every miner has his own favorite Miner Bingo quotes. Antiuk really took a liking to the "You're not following your own CODE" square. His EVE career stood precariously on a razor's edge. One false move and he would slip into the darkness, becoming a space lawyer. Agent Mildron Klinker was determined not to let that happen. He wanted to guide this carebear into a life of Code-compliance. Would Mildron succeed, or would Antiuk only produce more tears?

To be continued...

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The Accusation

Sasha Nyemtsov is the man with the golden voice. He has been systematically translating written Code-related materials into dazzling audio recordings--impressing even the nastiest of carebears. Today's entry, the first part of the Manifesto II. For those less familiar with our history, the Manifesto II is a pre-Order forum post (which was written by yours truly and, like others, can be accessed via our Links page) that sets forth much of the New Order's philosophy. It is notable for predicting the barge buffs and other nerfs to highsec PvP. It is also the longest post anyone has ever made on EVE-O.

As you might expect, the entire Manifesto II cannot be recorded all at once; Sasha is only doing one part at a time. The first section is "The Accusation".


Watch out Bobbins! Veers Belvar has become the latest gadfly of the MinerBumping comments. He claims to support the Code, but is adamantly opposed to suicide ganking. (General Belv, seen below, is his alt.)

The New Order is as open and welcoming a community as any in EVE. Recently, Agents of the New Order including loyalanon and others invited Veers to join them on TeamSpeak for a polite exchange of ideas. The question of the day: What would Veers do if he were given decision-making power, rather than simply posting comments? Veers took the opportunity to express his vision of a "moderate" New Order. Veers criticized today's Agents for adhering to an extreme interpretation of the Code that condones violence and distorts the original, peaceful Code taught and practiced by the Saviour.

This recording is a long one, and its continuation is found here.

Though there can be only one outcome, these kinds of conversations are healthy because they implicitly accept the premise that the Code is the law of highsec and must be obeyed. That is a lesson all the rebels of highsec would do well to learn.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Investigated for Taking People's Fun and Enjoyment

Henry David Thoreau once wrote, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." I believe he was speaking of highsec miners. The New Order can't always stop the miners from being desperate, but we can usually make them less quiet. A good gank and they'll pour out their hearts to you.

Meet Hans Karl Myer. He has spent the last two years of his life mining in highsec. It's all he does. It's all he's ever done. In the limitless EVE sandbox, he can think of nothing better than watching his mining lasers cycle. It is a sad life.

There's one other thing you should know about Hans. He does not own a mining permit. He didn't know it, but this put him on a collision course with destiny.

Destiny came in the form of Agent Zane Arnolles, who ganked Hans' fail-fit Retriever while it was illegally gathering ice. Hans responded by sending Zane an interesting EVEmail, which Hans also forwarded to Zane's CEO, loyalanon.

Despite two years of mining, Hans had nothing but that Retriever with which to mine, so he had to quit the game. Hans also confessed to petitioning Zane--for the foul crime of PvP in highsec. According to Hans, CCP told him they would investigate the corp for "taking the fun and peoples enjoyment out of the game."

Say what you want about Agent loyalanon, but he always sticks up for his people. He told Hans that he approved of Zane's actions. He then questioned how Hans could "enjoy" spending years AFK mining in highsec.

Hans claimed seniority.

The New Order does not consist of ageists. (In fact, most of our Agents are 12 year-olds. At least, that's what the carebears tell me.) People don't get special favors depending on how old they are. All must buy permits. loyalanon tried to get this point across. However...

...Hans was reluctant to get a license. He preferred to stay "off the grid", I suppose.

Despite all the New Order had to offer, the carebear had chosen to join the resistance. He offered no additional insight into CCP's allegedly ongoing "Does the New Order take people's fun away?" investigation.

Having exchanged pleasantries at length, loyalanon decided it was time to cut to the chase. He wanted to know what was going on in that 51 year-old miner's head. Why had he spent so many years mining in highsec? Why did he care so much about a single Retriever? Were it not for our Agents, these would remain mysteries forever. But now, having been given the opportunity to play EVE and interact with others for the first time, Hans Karl Myer would open up to the world and speak his truth.

And yet, as is so often the case in highsec, the carebear's "truth" produced more questions than answers. If he was so wealthy, why couldn't he buy another Retriever? Would he really have bought a permit if he'd been asked politely before being blown up? Why can he only mine white glaze now, instead of blue? And without Hans, where will PvP corps ever find another source for blue ice?

We still don't know all the answers. Maybe we never will. But the New Order will never give up its search for truth. Every bot-aspirant is a mystery worth solving.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Kills of the Week

It is in the paradoxical nature of love that the more you give, the more you have. The Code operates according to a similar principle. This is why the New Order is capable of fighting--and winning--on multiple fronts simultaneously. During the week of August 17th @ 00:00 EVEtime through August 23rd @ 23:59 EVEtime, the New Order achieved strategic victories in the Alliance Tournament while enforcing the Code all over highsec.

Valock Mo'Punin's 1.2 billion isk Orca contained a mix of tech I shield extenders, an agility tank, and empty rig slots. This was not enough to keep him from being held to account. Interestingly, the Orca contained a transport ship. Maybe Valock should've used the transport ship to transport his goods, intead. The gank was performed by prominent Agents loyalanon and Jerry Rin, who were joined by their friends (mostly from Overload Everything alliance): Voreth Doreign, Demerz, Hair Loss, Le Soltueur, Biggie Kadeyooh, Aronnin, Doomchinchilla, Koz Katral, Gandon Kahler, Douglas Aurelius, Kaydyns, Falopadous, Crazing, and Hynoid.

DrysonBennington, known for his belief that the EULA requires CCP to buff freighters and prevent ganks, is well on his way to getting a "DrysonBennington Kill of the Week" feature. Due to his heightened profile, he was forced to add more tank to his Retriever. Yet he couldn't quite resist putting a mining upgrade in a lowslot. The EULA doesn't require buffed freighers, but the Code requires a proper tank and a permit. DrysonBennington was pursued by Agents Mildron Klinker and Zane Arnolles. A 170m pod was also vaporized during the attack.

The Venture ganking contest is still active for another week! Ra Namura demonstrated the bot-aspirancy of the whole class of Venture pilots when he lost an empty-fit Venture to Hi There 01. Was this another case of a newbie being "bullied"?

Don't fall for that "new player" stuff. Ra Namura was hiding 800 million isk of cargo in that Venture.

I have said before that highsec is not the nullsec alliances' toilet--it's mine. Morden Ray of TEST Alliance Please Ignore broke faith with the highsec community by encroaching on our territory. He brought a logistics ship to the Gamis system with the intent of protecting carebears. Thank goodness for the Guardians of Gamis, Agents Keraina Talie-Kuo and Krominal. They roasted the Scimitar and continued their vital work.

The list of threats to peace in highsec grows by the day. Among the outrages: Unauthorized POSes owned by rebels and other non-compliant entities. In some cases, a POS and/or its components can be expensive. A single Hyasyoda Research Laboratory, seen here, was worth 282 million isk.

For Mother Russia corp was sanctioned for unspecified Code violations. Agents loyalanon, Sophia Soprano, and Mildron Klinker located a cache of POS equipment in the Tolle system and destroyed it all. Over 1.8 billion isk of damage was inflicted.

El Aurian of the E.B.O.L.A. alliance had his 2.3 billion isk pod smashed by Agent D400. Ebola has been in the news a lot these days. Truthfully, there's always going to be one virus or another being reported on to sell a bunch of newspapers. But it's not the exotic diseases you need to worry about; it's the mundane things that do the most harm. For example, bot-aspirancy and carebearism. They might not make for flashy headlines, but they're incredibly dangerous. Luckily there is a cure: the Code. If you refuse to accept the Code, we've got plenty of qualified professionals patrolling highsec, ready to give you a good dose of it.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

The Young Knight

Finding a good corp to join can be tricky for new EVE players. There are so many pilots out there with so many skillpoints, corp recruiters can get away with requirements like, "You must have 10m SP to join" or "You must have 30m SP to join". Where can a brand-new player find a home? Where can newbros meet some friends and learn how to play the game? The New Order, that's where.

A disenfranchised young newbie with few opportunities in this high-skillpoint economy, Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri heard about the fight for highsec and applied to New Order Logistics. Before long, he was making history.

As a new player, Agent Salah had a special affinity for those highsec residents who were just beginning their EVE careers. He became like their big brother. I don't know why the term "big brother" has such a negative connotation.

Salah's scouting alt, Saif al-Islam al-Jawahiri, came across a 7 day-old character mining ore in a Magnate-class frigate. Which is ridiculous. Said newbie, Elisha Avada, chose the ship because it has a larger cargo bay than a Venture does. She didn't know anything about ore bays.

Salah understood that Elisha was acting out of ignorance. However, he also knew that Elisha was setting a bad example for others: A carebear should not be seen in public mining with a Magnate. He admonished her.

I don't know where she got this idea, but somehow Elisha thought highsec was a place where people can do whatever they want, "without any issues". Agent Salah instructed the miner that she was required to obey the Code.

Note the compassion shown by our Agent. He was authorized to shoot the carebear on sight, but because she was a newie, he gave her a warning. He even told her what to do and how to play the game. What a guy! Salah ad-Din was one chivalrous knight.

You gotta get 'em young. Cigarette companies know this. The New Order knows it, too. Only seven days into the game, Elisha's head was already filled with all sorts of nonsense. She felt she was entitled to mine AFK and disregard the Code. If only an Agent had gotten to her sooner.

Salah shared his beliefs with the miner. And he hoped, for Elisha's sake, that he was getting through to her.

The New Order is nothing if not persistent. If one route is blocked, we'll find another one. The rational approach wasn't working for Salah. Elisha wasn't interested in the Code's logic. It was time for another approach.

Using Saif as a warp-in, Salah dropped his ganker on the mining Magnate and successfully destroyed it. Salah was a new ganker with few skillpoints, but New Order fighters punch above their weight. Absolute faith in the cause and total fearlessness make for a potent combination. Elisha's quadruple-anti-tanked frigate and a hull repairer(!) were no match for him.*

* Yes, that's a structure-tanking fit with four structure-reducing cargo expanders.

Salah anticipated that the gank might be misinterpreted as a hostile act. But before he could explain himself, Elisha let loose.

The carebear refused to see the bigger picture. She only cared about holding onto her possessions. The integrity of the game was of no importance to the greedy young bot-aspirant.

Elisha never considered how her refusal to obey the Code might be damaging the highsec community. Talk about tunnel vision! Although Salah wasn't able to rescue Elisha that day, he was able to inflict some isk damage against the carebear. Taking away a miner's stuff is almost as good as teaching them. Pleased, Salah prepared himself for his next mission. This was a success that he could build upon.