Wednesday, August 31, 2016

The Anti-Community, Part 1


Another typical day in the Anti-Ganking channel: Mutha Fugga Jones attempted to report a ganker. Rather than productive anti-ganking measures being taken, an argument erupted.


Our spies have observed that the Anti-Gankers spend far more time fighting each other than fighting us. I suppose, like most EVE players, they're only interested in fights they can win.


As the brawl drew in more participants, a ban was inevitable.


Amusingly, even those who choose to take part in the Anti-Ganking "community" eventually refer to it as toxic. Mutha was banned and peace was restored to the channel. But for how long?


Mere seconds after Mutha was identified as a CODE.-sponsored saboteur, another potential spy was uncovered.


Unlike Mutha, who was not affiliated with the New Order, Frenzier Unicum did appear to have at least some connection to it. He'd recently purchased a mining permit from Agent Lawrence Lawton. Had the Anti-Gankers, for once, actually found a genuine spy--rather than inadvertently banning one of their own supporters?


Upon further inspection, Frenzier wasn't a true-believing advocate for the Code. He was a skeptic. Frenzier had bought a permit, but he doubted that it would be honored.


Frenzier didn't hide his true motive for aligning with the New Order. He had a vendetta against Miss Fia, a bot whose Hulk kept taking all of the ore in the Tash-Murkon Prime System. Frenzier enlisted the aid of Agent Lawrence and his friends, who killed the bot's Hulk.


A couple weeks earlier, Lawrence had killed another of Miss Fia's Hulks. When Frenzier reported Miss Fia as a bot, Lawrence investigated. The story checked out. And it was doubly confirmed when Lawrence ganked Miss Fia's third Hulk in the same system. Miss Fia was indeed a bot.


When Frenzier told the story of why he bought a mining permit, the Anti-Gankers were horrified.


Even as Frenzier went into more detail about the circumstances, the Anti-Gankers grew more disgusted. Frenzier was responsible for the assassination of an innocent highsec miner.


Frenzier, though skeptical about the Code, recognized that gankers could perform a useful function in highsec. He went to the Anti-Ganking channel for guidance--only to be told that he should allow himself to be pushed around by a ravenous Hulk. Frenzier began to question everything he thought he knew about gankers, miners, and the Anti-Ganking movement.

To be continued...

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Bingo Bango

Nullsec alliances are obsessed with "supers". They spend more time thinking about supers than actually using them in combat. Indeed, they rarely make an appearance in combat unless dog-piling a ship that can't shoot back.


Super Perforator is a different kind of super. She is an Agent of the New Order and a devastatingly effective ganker. One of her most finely honed crafts: the art of ganking Ventures. It's a noble practice and a classic example of elite PvP. Thus, Super Perforator is far more relevant than a fleet of nullsec supers.


Super scored a huge victory against Kor Herald's triple Civilian Shield Booster Venture. Impressively, the battle took place in the Amarr system. The busy trade hub was filled with spectators, any one of whom could've tried to intervene. None did.
Super Perforator > Kor Herald Kill: Kor Herald (Venture) no permit! www.minerbumping.com
Kor Herald > dickless griefer
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > you dont need a permit
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > just watch d-scan
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > and be careful
Kor Herald > i know
In such a bustling environment, Super had an excellent opportunity to collect Miner Bingo quotes, along with the minor miner clich├ęs that don't have a place of honour on the official Bingo card. How many can you spot?
Kor Herald > just some random douchebag preying on mining ships
Super Perforator > flying 20km towards the target..... he not being careful
Goat The-Admiral > as soon has those venture gankers go on grid just bounce
Mei-Xing Karn > Why not buy a permit? They're very affordable.
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > because CODE does not control ganking in eve
The Venture pilot claimed he'd been careful, but Super had slow-boated his way over to the Venture long before opening fire. Miners are a lot more likely to tell lies than to use a D-scanner.
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > it would make sense if they were the owners or dictated who ganked
Goat The-Admiral > they think they do
Vorew Vokimdra > Paying CODE is like paying for herpes...
Super Perforator > Permits are better value for money
Amarr public opinion was split. Some felt that mining permits were well worth the 10 million isk fee. Others were wrong.
Mei-Xing Karn > You get herpes through being incautious - the same way you got here. You pay to make up for your lack of caution : )
Kor Herald > why would anyone buy a permit?
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > paying 10m isk is just avoiding what will happen
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > is what they say
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > but if they want you dead they will kill you
Unsurprisingly, highsec miners are an overcautious breed. They always worry, "What if I pay and they gank me anyway?" They should be asking themselves, "What if they don't gank me?"
Kor Herald > what im saying is, what i lost had no value
Kor Herald > it is easily replaced
Kor Herald > why would anyone fund your deluded permit scheme?
Super Perforator > Kor Herald not my scheme.... James 315
The name of James 315 is itself an instrument which may be employed for all sorts of purposes. Drop it in local and watch what happens.
Dereck Inurick > Let's just tell it like it is, guys: CODE sells permits and then immediately kills them. They're a farce at best and banably offensive at the worst.
Kor Herald > James some kind of chief of these privateers?
Kor Herald > go venture out into my main accounts regions and try it lol
Super Perforator > Kor Herald you a big boy outside of high sec?
The "helpless newbie" in a Venture suddenly transformed, bragging about a powerful nullsec alt. Another resident of Amarr suggested that the CODE. alliance ought to be permabanned from EVE. The moment my name was mentioned, everyone's emotions were heightened.
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > if you make it very unprofitable for them, or any ganker. They will more then likely leave you alone
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > unless its for lulz
Super Perforator > or for James
Kor Herald > random group of selfish pricks take over a new player area and force martial law?
Kor Herald > i bet they're Trump supporters too....
Despite of the passage of time, Kor's anger intensified. He was so angry that he forgot he wasn't a "new player". (Of note, for many miners Donald Trump is quickly taking Hitler's place.)
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > well dont let real life pour into this
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > they are people too
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > they are just bored
Kor Herald > they are just pixels on a screen. the are not relevant or important in any way, shape or form
Super Perforator > bored? some of the bet times I have had have been reinforcing the law of high sec
Kor questioned the relevance of the New Order and its Agents. Yet they were all he could think about. Calling us unimportant had become the most important thing to him.
Dereck Inurick > Frankly if your idea of getting not-bored is "be a pain in the ass for someone" you aren't worth the genetic material spent to make you.
Kor Herald > Eve is dying. and these dickless wonders are certainly not helping by forcing new players out of this area
Kor Herald > these guys are a waste of server resources, bandwidth and frankly our oxygen
Mere seconds after saying our Agents were "not relevant or important in any way," Kor accused them of killing EVE Online.
Super Perforator > Kor Herald ganking improves new player retention..... see Fanfest 2015 security presentation (try to ignore the hair)
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > it would be boring if CODE was not around
Daniel Leverquin > code are bunch of kiddos
Super Perforator > Daniel Leverquin as are our grandchildren
Super casually debunked the old carebear myth about gankers scaring away new players. Few things have wounded our enemies so deeply as CCP Rise's Fanfest presentation.
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > just mind your own business and give them no reason to pursue you
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > especially when they hang around GSF
Kor Herald > but the amount of players who must leave straight away thinking the whole game is like this region must be quite vast
Super Perforator > no not vast
Kor couldn't help but be skeptical about CCP's claims that ganking improves new player retention. CCP itself was skeptical, too, hence all of the studies they paid for. They could've saved themselves some much-needed money if they'd simply taken my word for it.
Kor Herald > clearly not, as theres few new registtrations these days
Daniel Leverquin > I killed a few CODE.
Daniel Leverquin > easy peasy
Xiang Tsung > code can kiss my expletive I mine where I want when I want they have a problem with it they can take a long look down the end of my main's battleships guns
One possible explanation for the decline in nullsec PvP satisfaction: All of the most fearsome nullsec combat pilots are busy mining on their highsec alts and threatening our Agents.
Dereck Inurick > Just set 'em to ignore and let them have thier fun. Eventually CCP will put the foot down, as a business, by either pulling the plug or initiating a banwave larger than the last one in Overwatch.
Dereck Inurick > Regardless of which the tears will be glorious
Matrosov Glengoski Razyashchiy > idk if ccp will do that
The people of Amarr indulged in speculation about whether CCP might ban all the gankers in order to save EVE. But as CCP's studies demonstrated, that's not how you save EVE. You save EVE by saving highsec. And I would think that by now, we've all learned the one and only way that can be accomplished.

Monday, August 29, 2016

The Battle for Aridia, Part 13

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt 00 came to Aridia as a messenger of the Code. She taught the locals and won the support of many. Those who resisted the Code were punished and defeated. Alt 00's triumph culminated in her victory over U.S.A. - University's CEO in battle. Tastefully parading their CEO's frozen corpse in local, Alt 00 made one final plea to the miners.


Witnessing the demise of their CEO, April Longing, the rebel miners had two options left. One, obviously, was to obey the Code. The second option might have been resistance, but their efforts in that direction had all failed. Thus, the only remaining possibility was for all of them to go stark raving mad.


Early indications were not encouraging.


Slowly at first, the rebel miners began to "kaw caw" in local. The murmurs grew into a roar.


They had chosen to forsake the Code entirely. All that was left to them was insanity, a dark, twisted refuge from the reality of the New Order's supremacy.


The Aridian rebels, in their hysterics, threw a kind of celebration in local. The wild, unhinged frenzy painted a scene not unlike that of the F├╝hrerbunker in its final days.


Alt 00 could no longer communicate with them. They were too far gone.


Agent-in-training Jarl Stormwind Nod was astonished. The proud, rebellious miners of Aridia had been so utterly defeated that they'd been transformed; they were almost unrecognizable.


Alt 00 stood tall amid the raucous scene. She had done her duty. It was all an Agent could do.


Initially, one could still detect some attempts at communication. Soon, even these final traces of human reason were gone.


Such was the fate of the anti-Code resistance.


Of course, insanity is not a force capable of sustaining a corporation. Dotlan charted the precipitous collapse of U.S.A. - University.


In the end, CEO April Longing simply expelled what remained of the corp's 100 members.


April formed a new corporation, one which embraced the nihilism of the anti-Code mindset: Aridia's Dangerous Rebels United. She advertised herself as a recruiter for a nullsec alliance. An attractive proposition for miners who think they can kaw-caw their way into nullsec "someday".


However, April faced deep skepticism even among her own membership. Of those who started with her in U.S.A. - University, a staggering 75% chose not to follow her to the new corp. The madness had taken its toll.


(Meanwhile, the zKillboard stats for Aridia's Dangerous Rebels United challenged their claim of being dangerous. The math says they are Aridia's snuggly rebels.)


And as for Alt 00? Even after her extraordinary success in Aridia, she remained surprisingly humble and down to earth. Or maybe not so surprising: Our Agents are always generous and gracious in victory. Alt 00 recognized that it was the Code's power that had made her into the legend she'd become. The CODE always wins.

Always!

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Kills of the Week

Justice is never in short supply when the New Order is around. Men with wicked souls can't hope to get away with their crimes in highsec these days. Don't believe me? Just take a gander at these kills from the week of August 21st @ 00:00 EVEtime through August 27th @ 23:59 EVEtime.



Aussie FNQ did something truly terrible. His Mackinaw had two ORE Strip Miners. That was bad enough. Aussie made matters worse by equipping half a billion isk worth of yield modules instead of fitting tank. Agents Plasma Death and Liek DarZ destroyed the blingy monster. Then came the tears.


Math enthusiasts, take note: Aussie bought himself a 1.1 billion isk Mackinaw so he could make some money and wouldn't need to mine anymore. He had no Orca (so no bonuses) and no help (so no added efficiency from haulers). I'd be curious to know how long Aussie would've needed to mine just to earn back the 1.1 billion isk he spent. And how much longer to make the added yield of ORE Strip Miners and 'Carpo' Mining Laser Upgrades worth it?


Of course, my previous questions are academic, since his Mackinaw was destroyed. So I'll ask another one: How long does it take to read the Code?



As Framistan will tell you, there's nothing like hauling around 3.9 billion isk worth of cargo in a completely unfit tech I industrial ship. Agents Australian Excellence and Tax Collector Emile wasted no time in putting an end to his joyride.


The Mammoth contained 4 PLEX. Also, there was some unlicensed mining equipment.



How many of you remember Crazy'Ivan? He has been an Anti-Ganker since the very beginning, back in 2012. In all that time, he hasn't learned anything. His billion isk Machariel was designed to leech off of CONCORD mails. He could've done the same thing in a much cheaper ship, but that's not Crazy'Ivan's way. Despite getting on countless CONCORD mails, his personal killboard isk efficiency is only 62.8%, thanks to all of the blingy anti-ganking ships that have ended up being ganked themselves. Maybe that's his strategy--to draw fire away from the miners? Agents James Poddington, Mack Poddington, Chapo Muerte, Hulk Poddington, Jayson Kusion, Fiddly Pop, Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joel Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joshua Kusion, and Jason Kusion took down another Crazy'Ivan special.



Appolinarya had a dilemma on her hands: She wanted to transport an Astrahus, which is a citadel with millions of hitpoints. But she wanted to make sure the Astrahus had as few hitpoints as possible to protect it. Finally, Appolinarya settled on an anti-tanked Bestower. Agents BIM BOOM BADABOOM and Ariana Draven managed to destroy the Citadel by inflicting a mere 1,727 damage points.



Not to bury the lead (or the "lede", if you prefer), but it was a truly terrifying week for unlicensed freighters. In a single week, the New Order managed to destroy more than 60 freighters--more freighters, in fact, than were killed during the notorious Burn Jita event of 2012. What's going on in Uedama these days? Justice, that's what.


Among the dead: Exxter Evox's 10.4 billion isk freighter, which managed to commit the foul deed of equipping 800 million isk worth of anti-tank modules: three ORE Expanded Cargoholds. Needless to say, these modules are pernicious enough to be completely banned in highsec under the Code.

Agents Braggs Seyllin, Zula Terra, ThatOleSerpent, Amelia Maori, Ermingard Maori, Avila Maori, Adela Maori, Adelina Maori, Milkmypigeon, Sex K1tten, Gertrud Maori, Grimhilt Maori, Gerlind Maori, Le Plebo, Mack Poddington, Mintse, Booka Shade, Kblickens, Skiff Poddington, Theudelinda maori, Erminlinda Maori, Chapo Muerte, and James Poddington engaged the freighter in elite PvP. The freighter's pilot didn't return to his keyboard until after the glorious, hard-fought battle was already over.


Exxter considered the gankers a bunch of losers. However, his words weren't very persuasive--not while the gankers were savoring the 10.4 billion isk killmail they'd just earned.



...And this didn't make them feel much like losers, either. Exxter Evox's 2.6 billion isk pod was snatched up, earning Agent Le Plebo the Podkill of the Week.


To be honest, Exxter could've done without these implants. And now, I suppose, he will.

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #113

One of Bug 5150's alts lost a 399 million isk pod to Agent Marina Gankalot. How would he respond?


...By inaugurating the latest edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag. Welcome!


Metaphorically speaking, the Code is one big prompt. Still, I can see JF Tanaka's point. CCP should add the Code to the tutorial, or maybe have it broadcasted whenever a player enters highsec--similar to those criminal notifications you see.


Even the rebels expect me to walk on water.


Bug was back at it again. Rick Therapist isn't called a therapist for nothing. With over 4,000 kills to his name, you can just imagine how many miners he's had to counsel.


Bug said he couldn't get any calmer. This raises a disturbing question: What if all the miners we deal with are already on their best behavior?


Regardless, we expect better from the miners. If they're having trouble calming down, they can at least start with a 10 million isk payment.


CEO sammy far received a wardec warning. This time, however, the notification didn't involve a request to expel a corp member...


...The entire corp was ordered to disband due to its inappropriate name. There are children in highsec, you know.


A funny thing about carebears: They all demand the benefits of taxation, but none of them want to pay.


You'd think everybody knew mining isn't fun, but as we'll see, apparently it's a hotly debated issue.


Agent Super Perforator was helping some people learn how to mine properly in highsec. The ISD members in local had other ideas.


(Luckily, some people set a better example.)


Your ISDs, ladies and gentlemen. Ruining the official EVE forums and encouraging new players to think that mining is the most fun EVE has to offer.


Rayne Hamataro was idling in a frigate when he was popped at the gate by Agent Aaaarrgg. Rayne then got an idea. What if he could hunt down the man who ganked him?


Though Rayne was unable to catch Aaaarrgg and exact his revenge, a new world had opened to him: The world of EVE as it is meant to be played. Judging by Rayne's experience, it's more fun than mining.