Sunday, November 26, 2017

Kills of the Week

At this time of year, one's thoughts naturally turn to one's family. In highsec, the First Family is comprised of the Agents of the New Order. By enforcing the Code and promoting its values, they save highsec and everyone in it. So if a member of your family lists the things he's thankful for and he forgets to mention the Code, give him a good jab between the ribs to remind him.

And now, for the week of November 19th @ 00:00 EVEtime through November 25th @ 23:59 EVEtime, a Thanksgiving-themed Kills of the Week post. I present you with six fat, juicy turkeys.



Turkey number one is big ray, whose overstuffed freighter bloated to 34 billion isk. big ray spent so much money on this turkey that he didn't have anything left; he didn't have a few thousand isk to spend on some reinforced bulkheads, for instance.

Agents big brutor one, Hagen Fizzleblade, Karl Friedrich Fizzleblade, Archibald Fizzleblade, Bob Painter, Franz Fizzleblade, Jason Kusion, Gottfried Fizzleblade, Inspector Implant, Jayson Kusion, Hermann Fizzleblade, Darnoth, BAE B PEW, Unfit ForDoody, big brutor two, Joel Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, George Painter, Jackson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Walther Fizzleblade, Subotai Hyrkanian, erobb, Daniel Chanline, James BIG BONED, brainlet, Crom Cimmeria, patyooki, PogChampion, Shy Elf Trap, tumblr ptsd, oink piggu, Serious Web Developer, pastywhitenerd, jon Opper, kali laska, KENTua, and Asakra carved up the freighter and...


The loot fairy wishbone broke in favor of our gankers--at least where big ray's collection of illegal mining drones was concerned.



Rei Rei Kusoni was all decked out in a set of ORE cargo expanders. Those may have been fashionable back in the bad old days, but in the era of the New Order, decadence is out. Luckily, Agents Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Kittens, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector AynRand, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector Alison, and Mining Lord 1999 were willing to usher Rei Rei into the era of the Code.



Lord Diamond is a bit of a mystery. Somehow, this jump freighter pilot managed to go suspect on a gate in Niarja late last week. Naturally, this drew the attention of a motley crew of concerned citizens: labtecwar, Neith's Touch, Chuck Dexter, Danilo Audier, Pod-Goo Repairman, Magic Gemulus, Aaaarrgg, and Keiber Neon. Perhaps someone actually managed to find a good use for a kill right?


There's something you don't see every day: A Machariel from the mighty CODE. alliance got on the killmail. Bumpers should get a chance to receive proper credit for their elite PvP. Maybe after bumping a ship a certain number of times, the bumped ship should go suspect? That would certainly encourage jump freighters not to get bumped.



That's a lot of firepower for a ship that can't shoot back. Gena Saissore blundered into Uedama without a guide. Once he got there, he received plenty of guidance from a prestigious family of Code enforcers. Agents Jayson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jason Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Joshua Kusion, and Fatally Wounded Pineapple popped the Vindi and went right on to the next kill.



They don't make Orcas like they used to. Elderman Herfunk's mining drone rigs reveal the darkness in his heart: He undoubtedly used this ship for AFK mining before converting it into a hauler. His old crimes caught up with his new ones, and all were punished: Agents Tantaria Stavanghar, Skiff Poddington, Horan Kim, Strybjorn Grimskull, Esibel, Jaina Evotori, Mack Poddington, Lawrence Lawton, Yojiro, Bint Bint, Yuliana Tang, Archibald Fizzleblade, Nion Nostro, Hans Ferdeappel, djamsmz, Subotai Hyrkanian, Hermann Fizzleblade, Jack Fizzleblade, Bombers Don't Exist, James Maroon, Richard Dan Gold, Hagen Fizzleblade, Flying Kiwi Patron, Amanantian, Gottfried Fizzleblade, Crom Cimmeria, Horace Goes Ganking, Karl Friedrich Fizzleblade, Mark Ormerant, Lego Edd, Jinza Evotori, Brzeczyszczykiewiczovvna, Urban Worrier, Collateralized Contracts, Anna Tanner, James Poddington, dAbOsSlAdY77, SynthiaGreey, Jet Set Milly, and Abraham Isimazu feasted upon the blubbery Orca with great relish.


Maybe next time don't transport your skill injectors in your mining ship. Maybe inject them instead? Or better yet, spend some time learning the game while your skill points tick up--like we did in the old days.


Still hungry, dear reader? Fear not. I saved the biggest, fattest turkey for last:


Now that's one delectable bird. Trade HAI's Bustard waddled mindlessly into a trap set by our Agents. Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Aruka, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector HongMei, Taxman Daniel, and Tax Collector Thnx4Loot caught him. They decided that this particular turkey didn't deserve a pardon, so they lowered the axe instead.


The Bustard was stuffed with all sorts of unhealthy things. Our Agents removed all 42 billion isk of it. One can only imagine that when Trade HAI returned to his keyboard, he had plenty to gobble about.

25 comments:

  1. Calm down murder l...

    No wait! I was wrong all along! The Code ALWAYS wins! Gratz on the spectacular enforcement!

    \o/ Praise James! \o/

    ReplyDelete
  2. We have a lot to be thankful for this week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why seems you agents always commit suicide. You must hate life

      Delete
  3. Great Chribba that Bustard......
    /facepalms

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bumped ships going suspect? A sound idea for clear traffic violators. They sit in the space lanes, holding up everyone. About time they got their just desserts.

    ReplyDelete
  5. loot fairy said hell yes!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow! Great work, Agents! Keep it up!

    -Oink

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great work by all our agents and their friends. The miners and haulers should be thankful for the dedicated attention they get from us.

    A delightful week's enforcing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm grateful to be able to ask questions on this site and not let the angry agents get to me because they dislike answering questions.

      Delete
  8. another week of failing for antiganking. damn they are getting worse and more embarrassing daily.

    ReplyDelete
  9. "antigankers"?

    More like antifun!

    Always!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup anti fun so much so they don't pay a subscription in hopes the game will die

      Delete
  10. That is some spectacular failing.

    Eve players are getting dumber every year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you're and eve player.

      Delete
    2. Clap clap clap, almost coherent.

      Progress.

      Delete
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