Sunday, January 27, 2019

Kills of the Week


I know this.

Let's look at some criminals who were brought to justice during the week of January 20th @ 00:00 EVEtime through January 26th @ 23:59 EVEtime. (By the way, you don't need to buy Police skins to enforce the law in highsec. All you need is the Code.)



Silviu Tomescu was piloting a 21.6 billion isk supercarrier--you know, a typical ship that can't shoot back. Somehow he managed to be brought down by a fleet from the mighty CODE. alliance: Agents Soldier Forrester, Mizhir, WaTeR Ubersnol, CtrlFreak, cuffdawg, Jeronyx, Tikktokk Tokkzikk, Miyamoto Uroki, Intigo, l0rd carlos, Pete Tomaszewski, Mitur Penshar, Scotty Smartypants, Beandog, and Eld K'Fixit. The rebels and skeptics are still scratching their heads over this one.



Jeriko Mileghere was thoughtful: He didn't want our Agents to have to go all the way out to nullsec to take away his stuff. Instead, Jeriko delivered himself right to the Kusion family's doorstep in Uedama. Once there, he simply awaited his death at the hands of Agents Jason Kusion, Aiko Danuja, Jacob Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Alleil Pollard, and Jayden Kusion.



Sapphire Interstellar Capital Holdings corporation assumed it was impossible to lose anything of value in a 1.0 security system. Isn't there a Yulai Convention or something that protects carebears? That's why they didn't bother to defend their Fortizar--or even to pay attention to the fact that they'd been wardecced. Agents arkon trader, Mizhir, Eve Undergr0und, comet chaser, commercial time, Kalaratiri, Discofitta, Dominated, Kissemurra, Love Humps, Delicate Feminine Flower, Jathrine, Chocolate Rainbow Cake, Sigrid Tystnad, Rainbow Cake, Blazing Pancake, Ice is Nice, Knullruffs, Innostunut Sonni, Solkatt, loyalbanon, Lumienkeli, Karliene, Beijing Jackhammer, Kermakakku, Mr Vrix, zykerx, and Sorgia removed the structure. They also brought a lot more non-bumping Machariels than you'd expect to see in a CODE. fleet.



Michell Mason was anxious about bringing her cargo through the Uedama system. To avoid the fate of her fellow Code offenders--who lose freighters all the time--she chose to autopilot a smaller hauler. It didn't matter, though, because she lacked a permit. Agents Alarik Maleus, Zont Shooter, Nam Plau, kali laska, Pazzesqo, May Mather, JIuc Dark, and Votre Dieu cracked open the Mastodon and saw this:


Silly carebear.



Ralena decided to use a mining battleship--and that wasn't even the dumbest thing she did that day. After Agent Mike Adoulin removed her MTU, she attacked his battleship with some drones. Unlike Ralena's battleship, Mike's was equipped with blasters instead of mining lasers.



For some reason, mrpleco brought a 2.1 billion isk Vargur into an asteroid belt. Noble warriors from Honeybright corporation ganked the Vargur, allowing Agent Eostella to sink her teeth into an even juicier kill.


Three billion isk may seem like a lot of money to waste on implants, but let's be honest--mrpleco's entire EVE career has been a waste.

19 comments:

  1. Three billion isk may seem like a lot of money to waste on implants, but let's be honest--mrpleco's entire EVE career has been a waste. bahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  2. Excellent work agents! Praise James! \o/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why does Kenny need constant praise?
      Does Kenny got a low self esteem?

      Delete
    2. Kenny doesn't need constant praise. He earns it anew with each and every post. As they say in New Halaima, Praise be unto Him.

      Delete
    3. Kenny wants to be Allah.
      But Kenny cant be Allah.

      Delete
  3. In the aquarium world, plecos are fish that feed on the detritis of the other fish.

    Like miners, they live at the bottom and eat shit.

    How apt.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This Kenny thing is ag's ultimate plan to stop the New Order. It's just too funny. Keep trying fanbois. XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're silly Kenny

      Delete

    2. I thought kenny was a retarded mute kid from south park who got killed every day?

      Delete
    3. No that's not you Kenny.
      That's a different Kenny.
      But you do die a lot like him Kenny.

      Delete
  5. I like the part where he quoted the EVE ad "You are the law" and he said "I know!"

    ReplyDelete
  6. wow just wow. antiganking failing so hard right now

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't like your friends very much Kenny

      Delete
  7. * Kusion = bot = CHODE. slave = hypocrite.

    ReplyDelete
  8. * Kusion = bot = CHODE. slave = hypocrite = kenny?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Meh seems made up

    ReplyDelete

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