Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Resistance in Paralysis

Two things are rumored to be extinct in highsec: Anti-Gankers and autopiloting pods.


They're not extinct, though--merely endangered. Agents Aaaarrgg and Pod-Goo RepoWoman were bouncing from gate to gate in search of their favored quarry, the rare and exotic autopiloting pod. As they did so, they came across another unusual sight.


PINCH en Chalune was an honest-to-badness Anti-Ganker. He followed our heroes' Thrashers from gate to gate, hoping to prevent them from ganking any pods.


Agent Pod-Goo RepoWoman dropped the J-bomb in local chat. It yielded truth, as it always does: PINCH revealed himself to be a Russian Anti-Ganker.


Accordingly, Pod-Goo linked a copy of the Code translated into Russian. But it seems PINCH was already familiar with it.


Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri posted the translation on the MinerBumping forum years ago. Our Agents have made good use of it; the Russian translation of the Code has been read over 23,000 times.


Agent Salah has become quite famous among Russian EVE players. Salah's celebrity can be intimidating; PINCH wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to say hello.


Aaaarrgg and Pod-Goo continued to bounce around, looking for their elusive prey. PINCH insisted that if an autopiloting pod did appear, he would protect it.


But at the very moment PINCH was bragging about his skills, Pod-Goo RepoWoman smashed a 100 million isk pod one system over. Aaaarrgg linked the kill and asked PINCH for his thoughts.


Pod-Goo RepoWoman popped back into the system just in time to watch PINCH try to explain away his latest failure to prevent a gank. Our Agent casually brushed aside PINCH's embarrassing attempt at spin.


PINCH didn't like being humiliated in local chat. He planned to get his revenge by preventing a gank. He'd failed to stop Pod-Goo RepoWoman, but maybe he could rescue a pod from Aaaarrgg?


Alas, at that very moment, Aaaarrgg was ganking an 840 million isk pod one jump over in the other direction. (Isn't it typical? You wait all day for a pod and then two arrive back-to-back.)


There was nowhere left for PINCH to hide. He'd bragged to everyone about his abilities as an Anti-Ganker, only to have both of the gankers he was tracking pull off a gank right under his nose.


PINCH no longer even pretended to be effective at stopping ganks. Instead, he condemned our Agents for their immoral deeds. Shedding tears was the only thing the Anti-Ganker was able to do.


When PINCH invoked the name of the Saviour of Highsec, it was clear that he wouldn't be sticking around much longer. When rebels speak my name, they very often log off soon afterward.


PINCH indeed chose to quit EVE for the day. He was able to prevent just as many ganks while logged off, anyway.

14 comments:

  1. Ahh, the TWO ganks ag has prevented... so many saved freighters... beware! in next couple years they might save ONE more xD

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  2. Going after auto-piloting pods is a fun and inexpensive way to help enforce the Code. It can even be done solo and with an Alpha account!

    Praise James! \o/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (Actually all enforcing is fun, so much better than mining. Since most of it is reimbursable it's inexpensive as well!)

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    2. My very first gank (on an alt) was a 1b pod on autopilot, this was back when you would see them everywhere. They are a lot rarer now due to the fine work of agents like Aaaarrgg, but you can still find them around.

      Anyone who is interested in ganking should give pod popping a try, it's fun and very rewarding.

      Delete
  3. I thought Jamey and his CHODE. slaves did not care about ISK. Yet all of the ganks are described as "ganked this pod worth XXX isk", "ganked this ship worth YYY isk".

    True hypocrites.

    I wonder how much isk Jamey is going to loose in the upcoming battle: https://www.reddit.com/r/Eve/comments/7sgfhz/1000000_fight_information_thread/

    Probably nothing, he and his slaves are too risk averse. Cowards.

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    Replies
    1. Null battles are a dime a dozen.

      High Sec PVP is the best because High Sec is worth fighting for. Too bad ag doesn't feel that way.

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    2. ... Mr. Scott Bacon.

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    3. Lol another mad PHag ;)

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  4. Thank you James! We always wonder about where anti-ganking was while miners were facing justice?

    In this case, we finally know he was lamenting in the next system.

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  5. AG has failed hard, it's almost sad but just funny instead. You compare ganking to IRL beating on children which is disturbing. You probably would rather that than losing your mining ship in a pvp spaceship game.

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    Replies
    1. Scott Bacon said it best this week on his blog:

      "...while I can't speak for how much or even if I will involve myself with AG again, I will as always remain NRDS in nullsec space."

      Aka "I lack the courage of my convictions."

      I think the rest of ag would do well to follow their fearless leader's example. Leave the war for High Sec to those who actually care about it: The New Order and the saviour of High Sec, James 315! (Praise be his name may he reign 1000 years). \o/

      Delete
    2. ))) Спасибо что опубликовал это здесь))) Звучит как детективный роман. В реальности мой киллборд уже трещит по швам от количества раз когда Aaaarrgg отправился к проотцам. Но он как гидра, отрубаешь одну башку вырастает другая..в моих представлениях это прыщавый школьник постоянно прогуливающий школу, с утра до ночи гоняющий EVE)) Остается два варианта остановить его:
      1. Он наконец то вырастет и поймет что занимается херней
      2. Мама разобьет его компьютер когда узнает что он третий раз остался на второй год.)))

      Delete
  6. https://coins-in-purse.ru/image/cache/catalog/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/36255263.fa0ut26b3x-800x800.jpg

    ReplyDelete

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