The Best Revenge, Part 77

Previously, on MinerBumping... aiva naali aka FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years aka AstevonWard OverGreer aka lil bullet aka 140 and his trusty council had an intense brainstorming session to figure out a way to defeat the Imperium's enemies. Magnets were considered.

From day to day, aiva's council never knew what idea the young genius might come up with next.

One thing about aiva was predictable, though: He was always up to something.

From time to time, aiva floated some unorthodox methods for making money. His council was more traditional: If aiva wanted to earn some cash, he should get a job delivering pizzas.

Alas, aiva couldn't turn pizzas into PLEX until he earned his driver's license. And that goal was always just out of reach.

The council was confident that aiva's supercomputer of a brain was up to the task. I mean, this was the guy who had built a nuclear reactor in his garage with a box of scraps. How difficult could a driving exam be?

As always, it came down to the Code.

It was clear that aiva had been rattled by his previous failures to pass the exam. But this time, aiva had a resource that hadn't been available to him before: An elite group of the Imperium's finest intelligence operatives. And so aiva's council embarked on their most difficult assignment yet.

Getting aiva to pass a driving exam wouldn't be easy. In real life, one cannot simply play some energetic music and run a training montage. And Mr. 140 wasn't as good a student as one might assume from his IQ.

Despite the challenges, aiva's council was determined to transform the young genius into a productive citizen who could hold down a job.

Although aiva was always one question short of passing his driving exam, that one question made all the difference in the world. The harder aiva trained, the more distant his goal seemed.

aiva grew increasingly frustrated. But his council tried to keep him motivated. The man who aspired to conquer all of nullsec was no quitter. He had pulled off countless miracles in the war against Pandemic Horde. What was one more?

aiva resisted. Getting a job and earning a living sounded like a lot of work. Was it really necessary?

But aiva's council knew that in order for aiva to realize his dream of traveling across the galaxy, he would first need to be capable of transporting a pizza across town.

Of course, aiva never did things the traditional way. He was born to blaze his own trail. No matter the cost.

To be continued...

The Best Revenge, Part 76

Previously, on MinerBumping... Betrayal! aiva naali aka FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years was horrified by the news that the existence of his ultra-classified "nullsec internet" had been leaked to some Imperium bureaucrats.

The nullsec internet wasn't the only secret that had slipped from aiva's grasp. MinerBumping had just published Part 45 of The Best Revenge series--and it identified FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years by name! aiva's council instructed him to go to Jita and prepare to biomass the character.

Unexpectedly, aiva had grown attached to the FJGS1KY character. But for security reasons, it had to go. Along with his trusted council members, aiva went on a goodbye tour of highsec.

Although his cover identity was burned, aiva himself was still very much alive. He simply needed to create a new character under which he could continue his operations.

aiva's council helped him pick out the name.

The transition was a difficult one. aiva struggled to make regular payments into his titan fund. From time to time, he called in sick.

As the coronavirus pandemic swept the globe, aiva's council sought aiva's advice on the matter. Perhaps they could harness aiva's supercomputer of a brain to develop a cure. Then the Imperium would have a decisive advantage over its rivals.

Initially, aiva dismissed the notion of using magnets to destroy the virus. But the more he thought about it, the more the idea intrigued him.

Unfortunately, aiva's mom said no.

Fortunately, aiva himself was likely immune to the coronavirus. It was one of his many superpowers.

Dear reader, kindly forget anything aiva might have previously said about his IQ.

People give aiva a lot of nicknames, but the rule is that any nickname must relate to some outstanding achievement of aiva's. Don't go calling him "fart face" or anything like that.

Even when aiva wasn't feeling up to a task, his council encouraged him. They were his biggest cheerleaders.

Nevertheless, in aiva's mind, the virus-killing supper magnet was dead on arrival. He was simply too polite to say it outright.

140 never surrendered; he merely switched gears. And he had an almost infinite number of gears.

To be continued...

The Best Revenge, Part 75

Previously, on MinerBumping... aiva naali aka FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years took his eye off the ball: Instead of focusing on his mission to help the Imperium conquer nullsec, aiva got bogged down in a bizarre debate about gender dynamics.

More than an hour later, Aiko Danuja still didn't see eye to eye with aiva. As a result, aiva grew frustrated and annoyed with his council member.

In a last-ditch attempt to make Aiko see reason, aiva threatened that the world would end if she didn't agree with him.

aiva was confident that he'd won the debate, but there were more important matters to deal with.

aiva gave his council an update on his most prized secret project of all. He had described it before, but now he presented the council with a bunch of random alliance chat logs from 2019.

That's when it all fell apart.

For months, aiva had endured the unendurable. He'd been mocked and humiliated and forced to pretend that he was a highsec miner instead of the Imperium's mastermind. Now they'd gone too far. He demanded the return of the billions--tens of billions--that he'd invested in his titan fund.

For the first time, something truly precious to aiva had been leaked. He could no longer take for granted the absolute privacy of the Discord channel.

And what was the secret project that had gotten aiva to turn against his council and threaten to burn down the Imperium?

It was his plan for a "nullsec internet", which he'd first spoken of a few months before. Someone in the council had told an Imperium bureaucrat about it. His dreams shattered, aiva couldn't continue as before. It was over.

Or was it?

aiva's council leapt into action. They gave aiva a coded message and instructed him to send it out via EVEmail to a set of key Imperium officials.

The message was so well encrypted that its full meaning could not be cracked even by aiva's supercomputer of a brain.

Nevertheless, aiva was convinced that the contents of this message would be understood by those who received it.

A question remained, however: Could aiva still trust his council? Was this the end of aiva's career as chief strategist of the Imperium--and the end of his weekly payments?

To be continued...

The Best Revenge, Part 74

Previously, on MinerBumping... aiva naali aka FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years was an extraordinary individual with unique talents. aiva's council used aiva's gifts to fight the Imperium's enemies, but could they exploit him in a bid for real-life global domination?

aiva didn't spend all of his time analyzing the EVE galaxy map; he analyzed a bunch of other stuff, too. And what he saw troubled him.

In casting his critical gaze upon the world around him, aiva found that radical feminism might end up posing as great a threat as Pandemic Horde.

But here aiva faced a new problem. While the council was united in its loyalty to the Imperium, not everyone agreed with aiva's approach to the world beyond EVE.

Sensing that council member Aiko Danuja was receptive to the notion of a society dominated by women, aiva pushed back. He wasn't afraid of a friendly debate.

...Or an extremely weird one.

aiva attempted to set the terms of the debate, but not everyone was persuaded.

Though he was determined to win any argument, aiva ran the risk of dividing his council unnecessarily. There was plenty of time to divide the spoils of war after the Imperium took over nullsec.

At last it seemed that aiva was ready to return to the matter at hand: How to defeat Pandemic Horde once and for all.

...No, still some unresolved issues to take care of first.

aiva would not rest until he had persuaded everyone to unite behind his philosophy. But Aiko stubbornly resisted.

For the first time, aiva considered that he or someone else might need to construct an artificial womb before inventing faster-than-light travel.

Why was aiva so preoccupied with gender dynamics when there were wreacking boallquals and skank traps to build?

Perhaps aiva had become too accustomed to getting his way. If aiva's council did fracture due to his philosophy, could he put the pieces back together in time for Operation Devil's Night?

To be continued...