Friday, August 31, 2012

Top Supporters for August 2012

There are many ways to contribute to the New Order, as you can see from the Become an Agent page. Agents who bump or wardec may be recognized in various blog posts as I recount their adventures. Those who contribute isk by purchasing shares don't get similar recognition, as "X transferred Y to my wallet" doesn't make for a compelling story. For this reason, the sidebar lists the top ten isk-contributors of the month.

As of 00:00 EVEtime, a new month has begun. In a couple days the sidebar will be reset, and isk I receive during the month of September, starting from 00:00 EVEtime on September 1st, will be counted. Of course, we don't want the August supporters to be wiped from memory, so consider this their commemorative post, a kind of hall of fame. Without further ado:


#1. R0me0 Charl1e
580,000,000 isk

#2. Mallak Azaria
500,000,000 isk

#3. Theangryhobo
473,000,000 isk

#4. No More Heroes
300,000,000 isk

#4. Weaselior
300,000,000 isk

#6. BillMurray
250,000,000 isk

#7. KrakizBad
200,000,000 isk

#7. Lera Shadow
200,000,000 isk

#7. Xavier Bandar
200,000,000 isk

#10. Dervinus
175,000,000 isk

Congratulations all.

Major Miner Meltdown, Part 1

I was there. Kino local was rocked by one of the worst miner meltdowns I have witnessed in my entire bumping career. So furious was the deluge of miner tears that the post must be split into parts. In the future, I will explain the context and recount the events that led up to the meltdown, and what happened after the events of this post. Consider this a preview. Now let's dive right in and find how what happens when highsec miners stop being AFK... and start getting real. Reader discretion is advised.

We begin in medias res. Dillon Austin, a highsec miner and self-proclaimed enemy of the New Order, has lost all reason, and begins spamming local with random letters and numbers. Danlo Fell, a miner with a political stance similar to Dillon's, makes his own feelings known.

What has driven these "peaceful" miners to such a state?

The two visions of highsec set in contrast: The peace and civilization of the New Order, and the barbarism of the rebels.

KnightRider2000, another highsec miner who styles himself a leader of the opposition, also gives in to madness.

Danlo finally articulates his feelings in a way that provides a clue: He's angry with Agent Dilbert Jenkins. But why?

Dillon regains his speech. He offers an ecstatic confession of his violations of the Code.

Dilbert offers the miners a way out. They do not take it. Yet another highsec miner, Vin Fell, joins the fray.

Agent Johnny Wombat is on hand to quote the Code provision against profanity in local. But it is of no use.

In reckless disregard of the Code provision against petitions, Vin claims to take the high road.

Agent Steve the Pirate is no stranger to salty language, but even he is taken aback by these swarthy dogs.

At last, I must speak. Vin's outburst came out of nowhere; as soon as he entered local, the first thing he did was lose his marbles. What was the cause of this system-wide meltdown--and could the New Order regain control before all were drawn into the vortex of madness?

Hostile Corps Surrender to the New Order

Arctic Dungeon, a corporation that fights in the name of the New Order in the Lonetrek region, has informed me of yet more good news. You'll recall previous war reports from our heroes, who stood bravely against mining corp The New Eden Initiative (TNEI), as well as TNEI's "defense" corp, Mjolinar Shipyards. Last time, I recounted my peace negotiations with Mjolinar's CEO, who explained in very memorable terms how she would never stop fighting me.

Agent Neltharak Idrissil previously reported the killing of a Mjolinar faction battleship. Arctic Dungeon also took action against TNEI, whom they hunted down in the asteroid belts.

TNEI mining vessels were locked down tight. But our heroes didn't immediately kill the miners; they gave the miners an opportunity to pay their ransoms.

Local miners were confused about the distinction between piracy and law enforcement. But the New Order fights with honour, and mining permits were purchased. One of the war targets was even permitted to escape with his ship intact when he correctly guessed how many shots his hull could take without exploding.

In the end, both corporations--TNEI and Mjolinar Shipyards--wisely surrendered, despite the Mjolinar CEO's earlier vows. It's one thing to fend off random pirates. But there is no greater power than those who fight under the banner of an idea. The New Order cannot be defeated in battle. Our heroes accepted the corps' surrender payment, the amount of which Neltharak asked me to keep confidential at the corps' request. However, I can say that it was a very substantial sum.

As the hostiles made the transition to join the New Order, there was some controversy about a provision in the Code which recognizes The Mittani as the rightful Chairman of the CSM. However, when provided with additional details about what actually occurred during Fanfest, the miners were put at ease.

Today's tale is not only a celebration of heroic warriors, but also a lesson in how even our most implacable foes in highsec will eventually join our righteous cause. Every last one of them.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Heroes Beat Back the Rising Tide of Violence

Earlier this week I wrote breathlessly of the multiple assassination attempts made against me. It seems these attacks are part of a growing trend of violence against the New Order: My Agents have also been reporting encounters with such terrorists. I'm pleased to say, according to these reports we have lost no bumping ships. Our enemies were not so lucky.

I have in my possession one of their instruments of war, which is now a trophy sitting on my desk.

Agent Dilbert Jenkins has come under repeated assault by the reactionary forces.

In addition to the thrasher attack, one desperate miner fitted up a smartbombing battleship. He failed to kill Dilbert, but he did manage to knock out four nearby miners. This report was verified by another of my Agents.

I was forwarded the EVEmail sent by the not-so-smartbomber, in which he threatened to take down our "toons". Note the miner's belief that Agents of the New Order are my alts. That delusion is so last month.

These assassins tend to show poor sportsmanship, with nary a "gf" in sight.

Thrashers appear to be a favorite weapon of our enemies; Agent Pootis Man also encountered one (and I've dealt with a few myself).

Pootis later came under fire from a pair of vexors who dared to strike in the very heart of New Order territory.

Pictured is a terrorist attack made by yet another thrasher, which I personally witnessed. Agent Johnny Wombat was the target; his stabber emerged victorious. The bravery of our soldiers is an inspiration. And the cowardly actions of our enemies serve as a reminder of what we're fighting for!

Tears of the Day: The Good Name of Eno Bray

With our great empire now sprawling across the galaxy, I cannot always be there to watch, with my own eyes, the destiny of highsec unfold. I must rely on my Agents to serve as my eyes and ears. So far, they have proven very useful.

Highsec ice miner Eno Bray confided his extreme disapproval of the Saviour of Highsec to his fellow dissidents. (Here's a link to the post he's referring to.)

Though consumed by hatred, Eno decided not to let it show in public. He became convinced that the New Order runs on tears the same way an army marches on its stomach. The only solution was to starve the beast.

Or failing that, to take extreme measures.

Eno soon had an opportunity to test his theory when Kino was visited by two Agents of the New Order, Mallak Azaria and Dilbert Jenkins.

Eno urged his fellow miners to hold fast, depriving the bumpers of tears.

Yet Eno couldn't resist giving voice to his conspiracy theory. And then, it was Eno himself who was subjected to bumping. Time to show off those nerves of steel.

The pressure was too great. Eno switched tactics.

Eno was about to reveal his trump card.

Eno's space lawyering was unveiled. Could the Agents stand against such power?

Better luck next time.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

How Do I Fit My Stabber?

Over the past several days, I have been deluged by EVEmails asking me about my fittings and bumping techniques. To my great embarrassment, I have been forced to resort to sending copy-pasta responses. By popular demand, I'm addressing these questions in a post. This should be particularly useful to those of you who are new to bumping and interested in joining the New Order. I will be linking this post on the Become an Agent page for easy reference.

Let's start with the most common question. Pictured above is the schematic for my succeedfit Invincible Stabber. It's actually a Stabber Fleet Issue, which gives it a little extra. I would like to stress that a regular stabber is just fine for bumping, and there's no need to spend the extra isk on a SFI unless you really want to; the stabber is a great, affordable bumping ship. I'm including this only because so many people ask about my own fittings. Some of them just want to make an estimate of my EHP for future assassination attempts, but most are just curious for their own bumping.

I use a 10mn microwarpdrive and a combination of nanofibers and inertia stabs. As you can see, the rest is shield tank, and a cloak for AFK cloaking. I also use a power diagnostic system, which provides a little extra shields and capacitor (since I use my MWD a lot). A regular stabber fitting would be similar.

Some people like to fit an oversized 100mn MWD, but my preferred method is to use the 10mn and apply multiple bumps until the miner has been sent the desired distance. At a distance of at least 5km or so, fire up your MWD and approach the target. After you hit him, stop your ship and wait for him to travel another 5km or so from you, then hit again. Just a couple bumps will do the trick. Ice miners have a range of 10-12km, or roughly 17km with orca bonuses.

You don't need to ask my permission to join the New Order. If you believe in the Code, you are authorized to enforce it. Nor is it strictly necessary to only bump miners in current New Order territory; some prefer to go abroad. This is referred to as "ranging" or "going on a range". In doing so, you offer miners of other highsec systems a preview of the joy they'll eventually experience as we take all highsec.

How to enforce the Code?

Pictured above is an Agent demanding 10 million isk from a miner who failed to adequately prove he was at his keyboard. The usual routine is as follows: Find a miner and ask him in local if he's AFK or botting. If he fails to respond, he is guilty. If he does respond, ask him for his 10 million isk mining fee. If he pays, he's good for 365 days. If he fails to pay, he's guilty of breaking the Code--just as if he were mining AFK. Paying the mining fee is extremely beneficial to the miners, so they have no excuse.

When a miner is in violation, it's time to bump. What you are doing should be announced in local so as to inform other miners and set a good example. In the above picture, you see an example of a copy-pasta notification suitable for use. My typical one is a bit shorter, "You have violated the Code. Pay 10M or risk bump. See for details." It's a matter of preference.

Bumpers have informed me that linking the website in local as pictured above is particularly useful in obtaining compliance, since the miners understand you're part of an organized effort, rather than a one-off bumper who will be gone tomorrow. Using the "www" in front of the website address makes it an automatic link. While you are bumping one miner, the other miners will be reading about the Code. Also, mission-runners and random passersby in system will also be directed to the website, which is a powerful recruitment tool. Many an Agent first became aware of the New Order simply by noticing the message while they were en route to Jita.

There you have it! You are now fully authorized and equipped to advance the cause of civilization across highsec.

Eight Billion in Shares Sold

Just writing a quick update to inform everyone that we've passed the 8 billion isk mark in shares sold. More than ninety investors have purchased a total of 8,059 shares at the last count. I'd like to offer a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ to shareholder Mortimer Montague, who purchased share #8,000 and put us over the top.

We celebrated the six thousandth share sold two weeks ago, but we flew past the seven billion mark too fast for me to notice. Well done all!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

More Assassination Attempts Foiled

In late June, when I took control of Halaima and announced the creation of the New Order, I came under frequent attacks from our enemies. They wanted to stop the movement before it started. My Invincible Stabber proved its worth, and I emerged undefeated. Aside from one day of violence, the period of time around our expansion to Kino was one of relative peace--a peace earned on the battlefield. There were times that I could fool myself into believing that peace would last forever. But it was not to be.

While enjoying a bit of bumping in Halaima, the citadel of the New Order, I was suddenly and deliberately attacked.

My shields were savagely stripped down to 95% before the suicide ganker met his fate. I made 7 million isk in loot from his wreck. The modules left behind gave me some idea as to his fitting--but his state of mind? A mystery.

The would-be assassin confessed that this was no mere flight of fancy: The operation had been in the works for some time. But his co-conspirators had lost their nerve.

I was interested in learning if he had been poisoned against me by enemy propaganda, but he wasn't giving up any more details. Satisfied that this was an isolated incident, I went back to work. But a few days later, this warning screamed across my overview:

A suicide ganker in a merlin? Madness.

My eyes did not deceive me.

Concord arrived. They played a small but useful role in the battle that ensued, destroying the merlin. My shields buckled but did not break, holding steady at 98%.

I scooped the loot from the merlin and was surprised to see the attack wasn't a prank: The merlin was tech II fitted, and the loot was worth just as much as the loot from the tech II thrasher.

New Order loyalist Steve the Pirate was on hand. He attempted to reason with the attacker.

Agent Dilbert Jenkins celebrated the victory. But the terrorist seemed to have been emboldened by the level of damage he was able to inflict.

Having tested my defensive capabilities, the terrorist decided to bring out the big guns. He upgraded to the best suicide ganking ship at his disposal: The dreaded caracal.

Since Concord was already in the ice field from his previous attack, he was jammed and tackled immediately following his first missile salvo. There was kind of an awkward pause while I waited for his ship to blow up.

I banked another 2.5 million isk at zero cost. The bumping business remains profitable. However, I didn't spend the rest of the afternoon counting my money. With compassion, my thoughts turned to the poor souls whose desperation moved them to commit these senseless acts against me. Who had taught them to gank this way, and with these setups?

Did these assassination attempts signal an end to the Pax 315 we had enjoyed this month? Perhaps we shouldn't be so surprised. Most plots against me are foiled in the planning stages, like the rebellious miner's attempt to hire assassins on Reddit. The war, I fear, has only just begun.