Sunday, August 20, 2017

Kills of the Week

Rebels and skeptics say they're the new player's best friend. Carebears, if you really want to help the newbies, set a good example for them. Hint: Disobeying the Code and getting your ship blown up isn't a good example. Teach them to become Code-compliant, or else they'll end up like one of these Goofuses from the week of August 13th @ 00:00 EVEtime through August 19th @ 23:59 EVEtime:

Take a look at Negata's uncatchable covops. She blinged it up to make sure she'd never need to replace it. Unfortunately, there's no such thing as an uncatchable ship--not when you go AFK at a highsec gate. Agents Pod-Goo RepoWoman and Aaaarrgg caught Negata taking a nap and gave her a complimentary wake-up call.

At first glance, there doesn't seem to be anything remarkable about N0Tolerance's Charon. After all, plenty of anti-tanked freighters have suffered from DBU: Death By Uedama.

What's unusual about N0Tolerance's freighter loss is that it came at the hands of just three Agents, Harletta Quinn, Lagatha Rozei, and unknown boat. What happened? N0Tolerance violated the Code. His ship was guaranteed to die by one method or another.

Andris Plepis was a master at fail-fitting, and he applied his creepy theories to an unsuspecting Orca hull. Our Agents did the Orca a favor by releasing it from this world.

Once again, only a small crew of elite PvP'ers was needed to take down the mammoth target. Agents Ralliana and Inquisitor Gnomon applied their EVE expertise on highsec's behalf.

Unsurprisingly, Andris was the kinda guy who uses 1.8 billion isk worth of mining drones.

Like the Orca pilot we just saw, Super Sweet16 figured out a way to bling up her mining ship without the use of ORE Strip Miners. A hodgepodge of unnecessary modules inflated Super Sweet16's Mackinaw to 560 million isk. It didn't make the ship perform any better; it simply made the Mackinaw a sweeter killmail for Agents Alt Proxy and Alt 00.

Kolomon Seph made the colossal mistake of safeguarding a 2.1 billion isk pod with nothing more than an autopiloting shuttle. Agent Myevil Gankalt was waiting for a target like this, and she was richly rewarded with an expensive pod kill.

Another Crystal set down. But...

But this is not the Podkill of the Week.

Zounds! Immor Naari was given a warm welcome to New Order space by Agent Giselle Rozei, who scored one of the biggest pod kills we've ever recorded. Immor had been tooling around in a Deep Space Transport when he was ganked and podded.

You might think it's pretty crazy for someone to lose an 8 billion isk pod like this. And it is. But you'd be surprised to learn just how reckless this Immor Naari fellow is.

Just five days earlier, Immor Naari lost another 8 billion isk set of implants while traveling through lowsec. After two punishments of this magnitude, one ought to expect the lesson to sink in.

No sir. Two days later, Immor Naari took another trip through lowsec and lost his third 8 billion isk pod. Now that, my friends, is a Goofus.

Immor Naari has been losing expensive pods at an alarming rate. All of our Agents are advised to be on the lookout for this dangerously bot-aspirant carebear.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #138

Help is on the way--thanks to the New Order. Welcome to yet another edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

Miners say it's wrong to shoot miners. This "rule" has no basis in anything other than the self-serving desires of the miners. Unlike the Code, which is principled.

The miners who complain about not being warned have it all wrong. When miners lose a ship, that is a warning--about the loss of their future ships. We can take an infinite number of ships away from the carebears.

Van Diethelm was just a disposable PvE alt, but he thought very highly of his main character...

Unfortunately, Van's elite PvP main never appeared. Must've been busy doing something important in nullsec.

Joshua Pugnatores attempted to undermine New Order rule in his favorite mining system. Apparently this anarchist considered laws to be government blackmail.

In fact, our Agents and their Code are the only reason highsec doesn't spiral completely out of control. Can you imagine a highsec run by miners?

Luckily, highsec will never be ruled by miners. The Code is forever.

In the previous edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag, I answered Nion Nostro's questions about the Code. After the post went live on MinerBumping, Nion received a strange EVEmail:

It would seem there are some rebels who troll this blog for potential recruits. Seriously, have they even read the stuff that some of these miners write? No wonder the resistance is so toxic.

Chwho Bacca couldn't care less about the mighty CODE. alliance or the Agent who'd ganked him. I mean, he really didn't care. So much so that he gave quite a bit of thought to how little he cared.

No wonder Chwho Bacca looked down on our Agent. Chwho was the alt of an extraordinarily powerful EVE player. Cool!

With nearly 10 years in the game, Chwho's main character must possess some incredible skills: Mining, docking, going AFK...

The Code is great because the Code is good. It's the most powerful piece of literature ever produced by EVE Online. Why do we send miners a link to the Code after we shoot them? Because the miners need it, and because we care. No wonder EVE's smartest players recognize that we're the good guys.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 12

Previously, on MinerBumping... The miners of Mission Ready Mining were forced to dock up in Gelhan. They watched helplessly as Agent Georgia B Dixie continually bumped their miners out of the ice anomaly and asteroid belts. As the hours went by, MRM miners were baffled by the corp's inability to deal with even a single Agent of the New Order. But tensions were rising.

The once-bustling ice anomaly of Gelhan was devoid of mining activity. It appeared as if MRM had no choice but to surrender and obey the Code.

The miners proved to be stubborn. Rather than spend 10 million isk per year on mining permits, they preferred to wait around for Georgia to leave--even if it took hours or days.

Carebears occasionally sent scouts into the ice anomaly to see if Georgia was still there. Unfortunately for them, Georgia's Machariel was equipped with a cloaking device. The miners didn't want to risk the embarrassment of being bumped again, so they kept their distance as long as Georgia was still in local.

Since they were unable to mine, the only thing MRM could do in Gelhan was make use of the local channel to chat. An uninvited guest dropped by and joined the conversation.

Controversial Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet encouraged MRM to see the benefits of the Code.

Despite TheInternet's notoriety, the MRM miners were unfamiliar with her history. It didn't occur to them to keep their guard up when speaking with her.

The next day, TheInternet returned to Gelhan. This time, she did more than speak in local. She, too, had taken up miner bumping.

Yanamota Acami was furious at being bumped. The day before, she'd threatened to gank Georgia's Machariel--but lost her nerve.

Members of MRM began cheering on Yanamota, hoping to goad her into ganking TheInternet.

But other MRM miners still had faith in the efficacy of the silent treatment. If only everyone could just stick to the plan.

Yanamota wasn't interested in doing anything quietly. She wanted noise. A gank fleet's worth of noise, to be precise.

Yanamota doubled down. By the end of the day, either Yanamota or TheInternet would emerge victorious in Gelhan.

There was no turning back now.

To be continued...

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 11

Previously, on MinerBumping... Mission Ready Mining corp's Gelhan division couldn't get a break. Just as one Agent vanished, another appeared. And early signs suggested that Georgia B Dixie was every bit as implacable a bumper as any other in the New Order.

The MRM miners were bumped from the field one after the other. If Georgia had any weaknesses, they were not apparent.

Though the carebears tried to rattle her faith in the Code, Georgia's strength and confidence in the Code only grew. Time for the rebel forces to regroup and reassess.

Higher-ups in MRM instructed all of the miners to remain silent in local. They hoped that if MRM ceased all communications with Georgia, she'd get bored and go away. But as the old saying goes, the bumper will always get through.

Agent Georgia was feeling more and more at home in the Gelhan system. As she ruled the roost, the teeming masses of MRM could only look on and watch.

Occasionally, MRM would send a mining barge or an Orca into the ice anomaly, only to have it unceremoniously swatted back into deep space. It was clear that whatever MRM's strategy was, it was getting nowhere.

For now, MRM was reduced to the occasional idle threat. They weren't even able to maintain comms discipline in local chat. That was only on the surface though--there was no telling what MRM's legions were getting up to behind the scenes.

As the hours wore on, MRM gave up trying to keep its pilots from venting their frustration in local. Medallion Solette had spent all day in Gelhan waiting for Georgia to leave so she could mine. The wait was getting to her.

Medallion repeatedly encouraged our Agent to commit suicide in real life. For some, this might be a bannable offense, though MRM's miners couldn't help but think Georgia was asking for it. What did she expect with all that miner bumping?

Perennial threat-maker Yanamota Acami toyed with a little of the denialist "Bumping? That won't do anything" stuff, to no avail. Georgia looked upon the empty asteroid belts and ice anomaly and was deeply satisfied.

Yanamota's patience ran out. She prepared to go to battle against Georgia's bumping Machariel.

Markiriam Aubaris accused Georgia of being boring. True, she was "forcing" the miners to sit in a station all day instead of mining. Still, the presence of an Agent of the New Order was the most excitement Gelhan was ever going to get.

Besides, although the ice anomaly was a scene of tranquility for now, violence could break out at any moment.

To be continued...