Friday, August 18, 2017

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 12

Previously, on MinerBumping... The miners of Mission Ready Mining were forced to dock up in Gelhan. They watched helplessly as Agent Georgia B Dixie continually bumped their miners out of the ice anomaly and asteroid belts. As the hours went by, MRM miners were baffled by the corp's inability to deal with even a single Agent of the New Order. But tensions were rising.


The once-bustling ice anomaly of Gelhan was devoid of mining activity. It appeared as if MRM had no choice but to surrender and obey the Code.


The miners proved to be stubborn. Rather than spend 10 million isk per year on mining permits, they preferred to wait around for Georgia to leave--even if it took hours or days.


Carebears occasionally sent scouts into the ice anomaly to see if Georgia was still there. Unfortunately for them, Georgia's Machariel was equipped with a cloaking device. The miners didn't want to risk the embarrassment of being bumped again, so they kept their distance as long as Georgia was still in local.


Since they were unable to mine, the only thing MRM could do in Gelhan was make use of the local channel to chat. An uninvited guest dropped by and joined the conversation.


Controversial Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet encouraged MRM to see the benefits of the Code.


Despite TheInternet's notoriety, the MRM miners were unfamiliar with her history. It didn't occur to them to keep their guard up when speaking with her.


The next day, TheInternet returned to Gelhan. This time, she did more than speak in local. She, too, had taken up miner bumping.


Yanamota Acami was furious at being bumped. The day before, she'd threatened to gank Georgia's Machariel--but lost her nerve.


Members of MRM began cheering on Yanamota, hoping to goad her into ganking TheInternet.


But other MRM miners still had faith in the efficacy of the silent treatment. If only everyone could just stick to the plan.


Yanamota wasn't interested in doing anything quietly. She wanted noise. A gank fleet's worth of noise, to be precise.


Yanamota doubled down. By the end of the day, either Yanamota or TheInternet would emerge victorious in Gelhan.


There was no turning back now.

To be continued...

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 11

Previously, on MinerBumping... Mission Ready Mining corp's Gelhan division couldn't get a break. Just as one Agent vanished, another appeared. And early signs suggested that Georgia B Dixie was every bit as implacable a bumper as any other in the New Order.


The MRM miners were bumped from the field one after the other. If Georgia had any weaknesses, they were not apparent.


Though the carebears tried to rattle her faith in the Code, Georgia's strength and confidence in the Code only grew. Time for the rebel forces to regroup and reassess.


Higher-ups in MRM instructed all of the miners to remain silent in local. They hoped that if MRM ceased all communications with Georgia, she'd get bored and go away. But as the old saying goes, the bumper will always get through.


Agent Georgia was feeling more and more at home in the Gelhan system. As she ruled the roost, the teeming masses of MRM could only look on and watch.


Occasionally, MRM would send a mining barge or an Orca into the ice anomaly, only to have it unceremoniously swatted back into deep space. It was clear that whatever MRM's strategy was, it was getting nowhere.


For now, MRM was reduced to the occasional idle threat. They weren't even able to maintain comms discipline in local chat. That was only on the surface though--there was no telling what MRM's legions were getting up to behind the scenes.


As the hours wore on, MRM gave up trying to keep its pilots from venting their frustration in local. Medallion Solette had spent all day in Gelhan waiting for Georgia to leave so she could mine. The wait was getting to her.


Medallion repeatedly encouraged our Agent to commit suicide in real life. For some, this might be a bannable offense, though MRM's miners couldn't help but think Georgia was asking for it. What did she expect with all that miner bumping?


Perennial threat-maker Yanamota Acami toyed with a little of the denialist "Bumping? That won't do anything" stuff, to no avail. Georgia looked upon the empty asteroid belts and ice anomaly and was deeply satisfied.


Yanamota's patience ran out. She prepared to go to battle against Georgia's bumping Machariel.


Markiriam Aubaris accused Georgia of being boring. True, she was "forcing" the miners to sit in a station all day instead of mining. Still, the presence of an Agent of the New Order was the most excitement Gelhan was ever going to get.


Besides, although the ice anomaly was a scene of tranquility for now, violence could break out at any moment.

To be continued...

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

The Awesome Samaritan, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Twelve-year EVE veteran William Bell suffered the tragic loss of his even more tragically-fit Hulk. But his luck turned for the better when he ran into Kintaro Kitsuji, who offered to help him get back on his feet. What William apparently didn't realize, however, is that Kintaro was an Agent of the New Order.
William Bell > well I hope I can trust you because starting over......idk if I could take that right now.
William Bell > to much going on with life
Kintaro Kitsuji > I feel you.
William Bell > I'm 34 and a truck driver who will be going back on the road the following monday
Kintaro offered to help William move his belongings into a safer area of highsec. William was a little nervous about the idea of handing over all of his assets to a complete stranger, but what choice did he have?
William Bell > checking charon stats.... I hope to have one someday:)
Kintaro Kitsuji > They're easy to get into. And you should keep your ISK.
Kintaro Kitsuji > Let's get your stuff here and then put up orders for Amarr.
William Bell > ok I'll start gathering things together
William dreamed of one day owning a freighter, presumably so that he could send it AFK into Uedama. For now, though, he didn't need a freighter. Kintaro was willing to transport William's stuff for him.
Kintaro Kitsuji > Where abouts will it be? I'll start that way.
William Bell > most in Autaris
Kintaro Kitsuji > Nice, only 17 jumps and I can keep it in highsec.
William Bell > I need to buy a new clone how do I do that
Kintaro Kitsuji > Clones don't get upgraded anymore.
William Bell > I don't want to die and loose my skill points
Much had changed in the 9 years since William claimed he'd last played. While William organized his property in preparation for handing it over to Kintaro, our Agent helpfully answered all of William's questions.
Kintaro Kitsuji > No SP loss on being podded.
William Bell > that's a plus
Kintaro Kitsuji > ISK is a bit easier to get now, too.
William Bell > i see the astroids are bigger
William Bell > well looks like I'll have to sell my ore, you can't take it in one trip
Kintaro Kitsuji > I can compress it.
Strangely--perhaps alarmingly--William asked no questions about how to get a mining permit or obey the Code. It was a major blind spot for the miner.
William Bell > how much m3 can you carry again?
William Bell > I'm at 1,535,036.7 with ore
Kintaro Kitsuji > No worries, I can run twice.
William Bell > ok thx a ton man, I really really appriciate this
Kintaro Kitsuji > No worries. I know the pain of being ganked hard.
Agent Kintaro was more than willing to help a miner in need. It's in the Agent job description, after all.
Kintaro Kitsuji > So, I hate ganking.
William Bell > NO JOKE!
Kintaro Kitsuji > Compressed Solid Pyroxeres
Kintaro Kitsuji > Compressed ore.
William Bell > double/triple checking everything
Kintaro Kitsuji > Awesome.
Kintaro tested William to see where he stood on the subject of ganking. William was against it. Kintaro took note of this.
William Bell > setting up contract now
Kintaro Kitsuji > kk
Kintaro Kitsuji > I've got a couple contracts going that way anyhow, so it works out.
William Bell > they guys that pvpd me posts their kills , the first one they have is a charon.....didn't make me feel so good because I really really want one
William did have a few points in his favor. First, he had the presence of mind to check the killboards of those who'd ganked him. Second, he acknowledged that the gankers had "PvP'ed" him. He didn't have the "ganking isn't PvP" mindset that so many rebel carebears do. Maybe William really had been absent for the last 9 years, and had avoided some of the rebels' poison.
William Bell > LOL the value of this first haul just about made me fall over
Kintaro Kitsuji > Heh, I won't even look.
Kintaro Kitsuji > It'll go into plastic wrap.
Kintaro Kitsuji > don't worry about a per jump charge
Kintaro Kitsuji > just make it 0
William Bell > I just hope you're as nice as you seem:)
Kintaro Kitsuji > Yeah, lol
William separated all of his worldly possessions into two separate courier contracts. Since William enjoyed mining and hauling, I suppose he'd taken the time to at least learn about the contract feature.
William Bell > lol this one too for est. value lol AAHHH!!!!!! lol
Kintaro Kitsuji > hahahaha
William Bell > well I hope nothing happens because it took a long time to get that stuff.
Kintaro Kitsuji > It'll be fine.
Now it was time for William to entrust everything he owned to Kintaro, who had patiently waited for the opportunity to prove himself.


Kintaro accepted both contracts and prepared to transport William's possessions to their intended destination. Just as Kintaro was about to do this, he noticed something very troubling: William Bell didn't have a mining permit. Was he a bot-aspirant? Kintaro certainly didn't want to be accused of facilitating another player's bot-aspirancy. Now our Agent had no choice but to open the courier packages and see if there was any additional incriminating evidence.


Kintaro's heart sank when he discovered what was inside the packages. In addition to a large supply of illegally-sourced ore, William had a collection of mining crystal blueprints and other contraband. Kintaro decided to confiscate everything. In all, 600 million isk of property was taken from William (who was old enough to think of that as a lot of money).

Following this action, William cut off all communication with Kintaro. This is not uncommon, as many carebears are so greedy that they treat their friendships in a very transactional manner. Nevertheless, Kintaro was satisfied that justice had been done. You might say this victory for the Code was nearly ten years in the making. The CODE always wins--always--no matter how long it takes.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

The Awesome Samaritan, Part 1

In modern highsec, justice is real.


In the tranquil system of Autaris, justice came to William Bell, who lost his Hulk. In addition to his poor choice of career and mining ship, William had erred in equipping his Hulk with such modules as a sentry damage rig and a 1mn Civilian Afterburner. Clearly, this was a new player in need of some good advice.


Or maybe not so new. William had been a member of a highsec mining corporation for just shy of 10 years. In fact, William started playing EVE in 2005. A lot's changed since then--the most significant change being the Code.


Shortly after being ganked, William caught a break. He was contacted by Kintaro Kitsuji, who offered assistance.


Contrary to what you might expect, Kintaro was not a member of the mighty CODE. alliance. He simply saw a fellow EVE player in need and wanted to help out.


When he returned to his keyboard, William sent a reply. He admitted that he was indeed the original owner of the aged William Bell character.
William Bell > I will take all the help you can give, thank you so much
William Bell > I've only been back for 2 days been gone for 9.5 years...but got back into it to get my mind off the divorce.....and then this happenes, I almost took an ax to my computer
Kintaro Kitsuji > Is your corp just you?
William Bell > yep 3 characters all me
Kintaro joined a private convo with William and his fellow corp members, who turned out to be William's alts.
William Bell > and from the looks of it struggling really bad
Kintaro Kitsuji > Well, yeah.
Kintaro Kitsuji > I mean, you have t2 mining ships. Anything else? It's rough to mine.
William Bell > yep
The miner had been gone for nearly 10 years, he claimed. If true, he'd been away while the New Order took over. He was certainly having difficulty adjusting to the new highsec. He probably hadn't even read the Code yet.
Kintaro Kitsuji > A lot of stuff, spread around?
Kintaro Kitsuji > I have a citadel in Seil for my corp.
William Bell > whats that
Kintaro Kitsuji > Basically a player owned station.
William Bell > ahh ok....any chance of this happening to me again somewhere whereever you're setup at? I just want to mine research and build and sell in peace any ideas?
After being ganked, William feared that he'd accidentally settled in a high-crime neighborhood and wanted to move away. Maybe Kintaro knew a safer area of highsec where he could AFK mine in peace.
Kintaro Kitsuji > Not likely. The system is pretty quiet and I like to wardec anyone that gets uppity.
Kintaro Kitsuji > I was going to offer a freighter pickup for your stuff and bring it here.
William Bell > sounds good. I apparently need protection....you have anything that might be able to haul all my stuff outta here?
William Bell > yeah, I need outta here, you're place have good ore?
The miner had been looking for Scordite, but he struck gold with Kintaro. The dude had it all figured out.
Kintaro Kitsuji > Hah, yeah. If you want, you can contract it all to me on a 1 day deal and I'll pick it up with my Charon and run it here.
Kintaro Kitsuji > It's a 0.6 system with lowsec next door.
William Bell > ok , that should mean decent ore and ore yields, sure I take you up on that but are you going to run away with all my stuff? it's expensive
William Bell > or should I put a colateral on it
Kintaro offered to move all of William's stuff to his new home. Suddenly, William suffered a pang of doubt. What if Kintaro was a scammer?
Kintaro Kitsuji > No. I have no reason to do that. I've got my own stuff, plenty of ISK and I hate gankers too.
William Bell > well I hope I can trust you because starting over......idk if I could take that right now.
William Bell > to much going on with life
Kintaro Kitsuji > I feel you.
In fact, Kintaro had no intention of harming the miner. Actually, he was going to help William adjust by teaching him how to play EVE in 2017.


The first lesson: Always read the fine print.

To be continued...

Monday, August 14, 2017

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 10

Previously, on MinerBumping... Just when the Mission Ready Mining corp thought peace had returned to Gelhan, Agent Kalorned's bumping and ganking campaign was followed by the appearance of Georgia B Dixie. Georgia was a Machariel pilot, and she found joy and purpose in bumping the non-compliant miners of Gelhan.


It soon became clear to the MRM miners that Georgia had learned a lot from her mentor Kalorned. She was able to quote the Code from memory and bump the Gelhan ice anomaly clean.


For Mission Ready Mining, it was as if the Kalorned nightmare was repeating itself all over again. Were they really going to have to deal with another Agent of the New Order?


In any carebear rebellion, the first step is to shout some jeers in local to see if the Code enforcer can be rattled.


If the Agent proves to be unflappable--as is always the case when dealing with the New Order--additional steps need to be taken.


Georgia's Machariel attracted counter-bumpers and other pilots who intended to interfere with her bumping operations. But no matter how many ships MRM sent, none were willing to even attempt to gank her.


Georgia was energized and filled with wonder by the power the Code gave her over everyone else in the system. "This must be what it feels like to be Kalorned," she thought.


Mission Ready Mining is a corporation with well over two thousand members. They weren't simply going to give up. They instinctively (though wrongly) believed that there must be some way to stop the New Order.


The rebels' next idea was to petition CCP to permaban Georgia. Our Agent laughed off the threat so easily that the plan was immediately discarded.


On some level, the carebears understood that the source of Georgia's power was her faith in the Code. Now they sought to undermine that faith.


One after another, the miners presented arguments to try to get Georgia to doubt the Code and discredit the New Order.


Unfortunately for the carebears, our Agents have heard it all before. And even if the Agent is new, it's easy to see through the miners' self-serving, hypocritical arguments. E.g., "I only mine in highsec and want total safety, but you're a coward if you don't go to lowsec."


It's hard to overstate the power of the bumper. In fact, after witnessing a bumper in action, many carebears will encourage the bumper to switch to ganking.


MRM and its allies became frustrated. No matter what they tried, they couldn't persuade Georgia to give up. If they were going to stop her from becoming another Kalorned, they'd need to resort to much more drastic measures.

To be continued...

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Kills of the Week

Tolerance and respect are two of the main pillars of the New Order of Highsec: Carebears are required to tolerate and respect the Code. Those who disobey the Code are a threat to our tolerant, respectful society and must therefore be eradicated with extreme prejudice. Some helpful examples, from the week of August 6th @ 00:00 EVEtime through August 12th @ 23:59 EVEtime:



Convoy Prime didn't exactly live up to his name. He chose to travel alone, AFK, and on autopilot. Convoy wasn't up to speed on the changes our fair Order has brought to highsec; he didn't realize that autopiloting in a shuttle puts a big red target on your back. Agent Aaaarrgg was thrilled to see a Leopard, as they've become considerably more rare these days--thanks to our Agents.


Aaaarrgg was pleasantly surprised when the shuttle kill yielded a 3 billion isk batch of skill injectors. He wanted to wish the AFK Leopard pilot a good fight, but it was several minutes before Convoy finally accepted the convo request.


Convoy announced that he'd only been killed due to a "socket closure". It's amazing how often carebears suffer network issues at the very moment they're ganked.


Hopefully Convoy will be more careful in the future. Players who obey the Code don't get as many socket closures, I've noticed.



This will be one of those "themed" Kills of the Week posts. We start with Zhool Arzi, whose 146 million isk Retriever was stomped by Agent Alexander Kirenski. Zhool made the mistake of fitting a 'Carpo' Mining Laser Upgrade, which tripled the value of his ship. A little bling can be as bad as a lot.



Next, the Covetor. TickleMy Elmo was the week's obligatory ORE Strip Miner guy. The rest of his fittings were less expensive, but no better. Agents Alyth Nerun and Ima Wreckyou put TickleMy out of his and the rest of highsec's misery.



Ryu Aridashi completes the set with an overpriced Mackinaw. Agents Subotai Hyrkanian and Crom Cimmeria scanned the ship and noticed a horrendous display of seemingly random modules. Surprisingly, none of the bad module choices were responsible for the high value of the Mackinaw...


Decadent drones will get you every time. And now for the week's worst mining ship:



What was Gintaras Mikalocius thinking? After destroying his mining Thorax, Agent Guybertini contacted Gintaras to find out:


There's your answer. As expected, the carebear wasn't thinking at all.



Zartev lost a 1.9 billion isk Golem and stuck around to be podded by Agent Jin Culdac. The result was an additional 3.2 billion isk catastrophe for the carebear.


The Mining Foreman Mindlink was actually the least expensive of the implants, but it was the most revealing. Though Zartev was at the helm of a Marauder, he was a highsec miner at his core. Let's hope he has a change of heart.