Monday, October 23, 2017

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 22

Previously, on MinerBumping... Mission Ready Mining's CEO, Gai Heiyuu, got into a debate about the Code with Agent Georgia B Dixie. When Gai was forced to admit he'd been taken in by fake news about the Saviour of Highsec being permabanned, it seemed as though nothing would be able to stop the New Order. Then, suddenly, a member of The Marmite Collective surfaced.


Apocriphia was a member of The Marmite Collective, a highsec mercenary alliance. Our Agents had already seen MRM attempt to hire a number of other mercenaries. Did MRM have a contract with every merc in highsec?


Apocriphia was hostile to the mighty CODE. alliance. Yet Gai somehow managed to put his foot in his mouth, insulting the Marmites' leader, Tora Bushido.


Some of the MRM members, such as Patrick Bick and Tyrax Iceheart, continued to sling insults at the New Order in local. Meanwhile, a rift was opening between Gai and the Marmite Collective line member.


When Agent Georgia noticed the squabble intensifying, she stepped back from local. Perhaps their argument would serve the interests of the Code.


Apocriphia made no attempt to hide his disdain for highsec miners. He felt the entire Mission Ready Mining corp was tainted by its association with highsec mining, despite its members' other activities. Gai was miffed. He'd built the sixth-largest corp in EVE but couldn't get any respect from the highsec wardeccer.


(Click to magnify image)

Gai let slip some intel in local: MRM had been forced to choose between hiring The Marmite Collective and its competitor, Vendetta Mercenary Group. MRM chose to go with Vendetta, which had previously tried and failed to stop our Agents from bumping miners in Gelhan.


Apocriphia had started talking in Gelhan local with the intent to throw some shade at CODE. Within minutes, Gai turned him into an enemy. So much for MRM diplomacy.


Now Apocriphia threatened to tell his leader about Gai's gaffe. It seemed that The Marmite Collective would not be helping MRM protect the Gelhan system from Code enforcers.


Apocriphia left Gelhan. After local chat cooled off, Agent Georgia returned to the ice anomaly to bump some miners who had assumed the coast was clear.


Bumping is a powerful method of Code enforcement--and often underestimated. Georgia's bumping was effective enough to make the miners wish our Agent was a ganker instead.


MRM's "defense fleet" was nowhere to be seen--nor were any of the mercs they'd hired. The miners of MRM could only wait for Georgia to leave the system. By their own admission, they were completely at Georgia's mercy.


It was a total defeat for Mission Ready Mining and its thousands of pilots. The siege of Gelhan would continue. And continue, and continue...

To be continued...

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Kills of the Week

"The New Order is taking things too far," the carebears lament. "They're telling us how to fit our ships now? What gives them the right?" First of all, the Code gives us the right. Second of all, from a purely pragmatic standpoint, consider what happens when miners go off on their own, fitting their ships however they choose. They end up like some of these guys from the week of October 15th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 21st @ 23:59 EVEtime:



Sabine Feldbaum's experimental Covetor fit ended up costing her half a billion isk. Somehow, Agents D34dly D34dly and Slutzilla managed to break through her hardy capacitor tank. Anything to get at those juicy ORE Strip Miners.



mark208 must've scoffed at Sabine's half-billion isk loss, "Let me show you how it's done!" With a full set of 'Carpo' Mining Laser Upgrades to complement his own pair of ORE Strip Miners, make208's Hulk was worth a cool billion isk. Agents D34dly D34dly, Larsulrik Napsterbane, and Slutzilla hit the jackpot twice this week. Like they say in Vegas, the CODE always wins.



Alas! Another victim of the "don't buy a permit, just use a Procurer and they won't be able to gank you" school of thought. Fortis spiritus suffered a staggering loss when his Procurer was PvP'ed by Agents Photon Death, Plasma Death, and Liek DarZ. Fortis was using ORE Ice Harvesters, of course, but still--how did this mining barge manage to cost 1.3 billion isk? Was he carrying valuable cargo?


No, it's just that 'Ingenii' Ice Harvester Upgrades are that expensive. Nearly 950 million isk for a pair! It should go without saying that these are highly illegal modules. Our Agents will be keeping a close eye on any miner suspected of using them.



ofuton nukunuku made two huge mistakes this week. First, he devised an extraordinarily fail-fit Rattlesnake. I mean, look at it. Second, ofuton failed to pay his taxes. He was paid a friendly visit by Agents Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Aruka, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Max, and Taxman Daniel, who helped get him into Code-compliance by taking away his ship.

Oh, and nice hat, dude.



Melissa Mardain must've known she was taking a huge risk by autopiloting a 23.5 billion isk jump freighter through New Order territory. What she didn't realize is how much firepower the Gate Tax Collection Agency has been mustering of late.


Eighteen Tornadoes were recorded on this kill. The terrifying fleet consisted of Agents Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Hill, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Aruka, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector AynRand, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Fuemi, Taxman Daniel, and Mining Lord 1999.



Somehow, Agent Eva Mavas suspected that Hulk pilot Slumber was AFK mining. (I don't know, maybe it was his name that gave it away.) And in Kino of all places! Slumber woke up at some point after his pod was destroyed. In the process, 4.4 billion isk worth of implants disappeared like a forgotten dream.


A bunch of Snakes and expensive missile implants? I suppose this Hulk pilot fancied himself a PvP'er. And he did end up PvP'ing--but Agent Eva was much better at it.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Highsec Fact Check

A lot of misinformation and propaganda floats around highsec. In a sense, this is surprising; the New Order, which rules highsec, is legendary for its transparency. And our Agents, of course, are notoriously straight shooters (pun very much intended!). What accounts for all of the nonsense, then? Simple: Some bad people have a lot of time on their hands and like to run their mouths.

When it comes to sorting out the mess and separating truth from fiction, the burden falls upon the humble fact checker. His is a quietly dignified profession. A valuable one, too.

Several of the most common claims about highsec were submitted to an esteemed fact-checking committee. These are the uncensored results.
Claim: New Order Agents don't honour the permits they sell.
Status: FALSE
Carebears frequently advise one another--including new players--not to buy New Order mining permits. Rebels say the permits are a scam because Agents routinely violate the permits or even go out of their way to shoot permit-holders. Carebears even spread rumors about anti-Code gankers who roam highsec in search of permit-holders to target. However, none of these claims are supported by the evidence. [1]

Though tens of thousands of permits have been sold over a period of more than five years, critics have yet to find even one instance a permit not being honoured. [2] It's not for lack of trying, either; the resistance has made feverish attempts to find a case of New Order misconduct, but they've always come up empty-handed. [3] Granted, a permit-holder may be ganked if he violates the Code, but miners are always advised of this when they buy a permit: "A mining permit is not a license to violate the Code."

If Agents routinely targeted permit-holders--or even occasionally did so--we would have seen plenty of evidence by now. But there isn't any. [4] As for the claims of independent organizations of gankers that specifically target permit-holders? Only one such group has ever been confirmed to exist. In 2013, a corporation called the NEW ORDER DEATH DEALERS started out trying to hunt permit-holders, but then decided to join the mighty CODE. alliance and kill permit-less miners instead. [5]

The lesson to be learned here is obvious: Trust the Agent and buy the mining permit.
Claim: Miners shouldn't bother buying permits. Just tank up and you'll be fine.
Status: FALSE
It's true that miners should tank their ships. It's also true that they should favor inherently tankable hulls like Procurers and Skiffs rather than Hulks. Indeed, the Code requires miners to do so. [6] Even so, there is no evidence to support the notion that tanked miners are immune from New Order ganks. Quite the opposite, in fact. Highsec is littered with the wrecks of miners whose superior tanks were useless in the face of determined Code enforcers. [7]

Not long after the mighty CODE. alliance was formed, groups of Agents proved themselves more than capable of taking down even the tankiest Skiffs. [8] Even as early as February 2013, CODE. gank fleets were successfully suicide ganking Orcas. [9] Eventually, freighters followed. [10] Unless you happen to borrow Chribba's highsec dreadnought, trusting in EHP is a dicey proposition.

Ironically, some miners trust in EHP so much that they buy blingy tank modules. In some cases a miner may spend hundreds of millions of isk to tank his ship, which only has the effect of attracting gankers. Better to get a 10 million isk permit instead.
Claim: New Order Agents engage in harassment, bullying, and other EULA violations.
Status: FALSE
One of the most astonishing qualities of the New Order is its integrity, a quality the organization demonstrates at every level. The New Order is great, but it's also good. From the Saviour of Highsec right down to the most inexperienced Agent, the essential goodness, decency, and humanity of the New Order is on full display.

Goofuses who don't understand EVE's game mechanics or rules accuse the New Order of bullying, harassment, and all manner of other evils. Incredibly, though, not one of the New Order's hundreds of Agents has ever been caught committing such an act. [11] And while a number of Agents have been martyred for the Code when CCP gave them erroneous permabans, there are no documented cases of Agents being permabanned for violating the EULA. [12] That's quite a record.

The carebears, by contrast, don't have such a great track record. It's safe to conclude that when a carebear accuses an Agent of misbehaving, it's merely a matter of projection.
Claim: Someone will eventually find a way to stop the New Order.
Status: FALSE
Since the earliest days of the Code, rebels have uttered some variation of the following: "You're making too many enemies. Eventually you'll piss off the wrong person. Someone will find a way to stop you." Despite these dire warnings, the New Order has only grown stronger over the years, and its enemies--to the extent they're willing to crawl out of their holes and show themselves--have only grown weaker and more intimidated by the New Order's power. [13]

Smart, reasonable people who have looked at this question have all come to the same conclusion: There is no feasible way to stop the New Order. [14] The conventional wisdom isn't always right, but in this case it is. The CODE always wins. Always. [15]
Claim: Obeying the Code is the only way to survive in highsec.
Status: TRUE
Of all the ways highsec dwellers have tried to deal with the New Order, only one has ever worked in the long run: 100% compliance with the Code. [16] Other methods, including counter-bumping, counter-ganking, counter-blogging, remote-repping, jamming, wreck-sniping, wardecs, anti-Code propaganda, orbiting rocks, faking permits, station-camping, gate-camping, begging CCP for nerfs, filing frivolous petitions, hiring mercs, real-life threats, and dumping countless gallons of carebear tears... all have failed to do anything but increase the New Order's already seemingly infinite resolve. [17]

Obeying the Code is the smart choice. It works every time it's tried. [18]

[1] Source: MinerBumping
[2] Source: MinerBumping
[3] Source: MinerBumping
[4] Source: MinerBumping
[5] Source: MinerBumping
[6] Source: MinerBumping
[7] Source: MinerBumping
[8] Source: MinerBumping
[9] Source: MinerBumping
[10] Source: MinerBumping
[11] Source: MinerBumping
[12] Source: MinerBumping
[13] Source: MinerBumping
[14] Source: MinerBumping
[15] Source: MinerBumping
[16] Source: MinerBumping
[17] Source: MinerBumping
[18] Source: MinerBumping

Friday, October 20, 2017

The Fraudster's Egg


Some people are in a hurry to get ganked. Barely ten days into the game, Petr Rashpil already had his very own unlicensed, yield-fit Retriever. Until he didn't.


The miner contacted Agent Super Perforator, who hooked him up with a Russian translation of the Code. Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri, who did the translation a few years ago, has helped countless Russians.


Though Petr had access to some kind of translator himself, he struggled to get his point across. If he encouraged our Agent to commit suicide in real life, it wasn't totally clear--which is probably for the best.


Petr turned out to be a Russian space lawyer. This meant that he was better at breaking the law than a layman.


Evidently it's against the EULA to destroy a ship after its pilot disconnects from the game. I guess somebody owes CYV0K a big apology.


Petr got so upset that he reverted to his native tongue. That's no way to get your Retriever reimbursed.


The miner refused to buy a mining permit, preferring instead to file a petition with SSP. If SSP's GMs are anything like CCP's, they're probably getting tired of frivolous petitions. But don't feel too sorry for them. After all, our Agents have to deal with more frivolous complaints than anyone.

Over One Trillion Five Hundred Fifty-Three Billion in Shares Sold


It's no surprise that people are flocking to the New Order these days. Our relevance continues to increase, in both relative and absolute terms.

The honours today go to Black Pedro, who purchased 1,000 additional shares, according to his custom. He sent us past the 1,553 billion isk mark and earned another Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ to add to his already impressive collection.

Quietly, cautiously, Black Pedro has positioned himself within striking distance of the all-time top 10 shareholders. This man is someone to watch.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Carebear Tears Are Liquid at Room Temperature, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agents Berry Nice and Trump The King enjoyed some elite PvP with unlicensed freighter pilot Mercuri Thoth. Mercuri proved to be a bot-aspirant with some wildly inaccurate views about EVE. When our Agents tried to set her straight, Mercuri got personal.


The conversation between Mercuri and our heroes reached a moment of maximum tension. From this point, things could improve--or they could go very, very badly.


...Or they could get a little weird. There's always a third option, it seems.


Agent Trump wasn't interested in Mercuri's threats. And he certainly didn't want to see one of the people he'd ganked violate the EULA in addition to the Code. Trump subtly steered the course of the conversation back in the right direction: the direction of the Code.


Mercuri didn't want to pay another 10 million isk in addition to the 4 billion she'd lost when her freighter went up in smoke. On the other hand, what choice did she have? She didn't want to lose another 4 billion isk.


If Mercuri wanted to continue playing EVE, it was time for her to grow up and accept reality. The New Order controls highsec.


Trump's logic was undeniable. Mercuri suddenly found herself in the mood to open her wallet.


Of course, this wasn't a typical permit sale. Mercuri had done some bad things. An apology was certainly in order.


I receive many EVEmails like this, and each one has a story. Our Agents are constantly working to make highsec better, and that creates content. "What's going on in EVE these days?" you ask. The answer: Us.


Mercuri Thoth and her alts joined the ranks of the thousands of other permit-holders.


Now that Mercuri owned an official New Order mining permit, she was interested in exercising her right to apply for reimbursement.
Trump The King > first off one of the criteria to qualify is for us to be able to verify you can not afford to replace what you lost. do you understand how a full API works?
Berry Nice > One of the rules is that you must be able to afford what you risk, as in you must be able to replace what you are going to be flying.
Berry Nice > If you would allow us to process through your API, we can see if you qualify for reimbursement.
Mercuri Thoth > I've been told not to share my API
Mercuri Thoth > That it can be taken advantage of
Naturally, applying for reimbursement is not the same as receiving reimbursement. There are a few minor bureaucratic hoops to jump through.
Berry Nice > It only lets us see, not do.
Berry Nice > Go ahead and google it.
Mercuri Thoth > OK
Mercuri Thoth > It looks like all my EVE info. Not sure how it could be used, so I will pass on the reimbursement.
Berry Nice > Alright, suit yourself.
In this instance, Mercuri decided to withdraw her application for reimbursement, effectively admitting that our Agents' gank was 100% valid.
Mercuri Thoth > What happens if a CODE ganker fires on me? Within the permit year?
Berry Nice > It depends on if you were breaking the code or not.
Berry Nice > If you weren't, you will be fully reimbursed.
Mercuri Thoth > OK
Berry Nice > But, you will need to provide an API of your assets and net worth to pass through checks.
Berry Nice > You might as well do it now.
Agent Berry was still willing to let Mercuri apply for reimbursement. She wanted to make sure the freighter pilot didn't have any regrets.
Mercuri Thoth > Read through the CODE. I don't do any of those things and gfrankly I find those things annoying too
Mercuri Thoth > If anyone asks me for my API I will just contact CCP
Mercuri Thoth > Just to make sure they are away of any EULA scamming violations
Berry Nice > Well scamming is allowed.
Mercuri Thoth > You seem too interested in the API's
Mercuri Thoth > All of the CODE guys are too interested in them
Berry Nice > You don't have to give them if you don't want, I'm just telling you what's required if you want reimbursement.
In the end, Mercuri was satisfied with her 7 mining permits and the legitimate destruction of her 4 billion isk freighter. There's a lesson to be learned here, carebears: Making threats and taking things out-of-game will get you nowhere. But if you comply with the Code, the sky's the limit.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Carebear Tears Are Liquid at Room Temperature, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Mercuri Thoth got worked up into a froth when Agents of the New Order destroyed her freighter. Agents Berry Nice and Trump The King were willing to discuss the matter like civilized adults. Despite their help, Mercuri struggled to cope with her loss.


Carebears, when you ask an Agent of the New Order to tell you what you're doing wrong, be prepared for a long list.


It became clear that Mercuri and Agent Trump had two entirely different ways of looking at the game (and probably life). Trump wondered if they could ever see eye to eye.


Mercuri tried to obfuscate her guilt by taking refuge in wacky analogies. But our Agents could not be misdirected so easily.


Trump and Berry kept their eyes on the prize. They knew the real issue here wasn't old ladies or Nazis or science experiments--it was the integrity of the Code.


Misguided bot-aspirants frequently--and falsely--accuse our Agents of bullying, but they're rarely called "slippery bullies". It was an outrageous accusation. Needless to say, a non-bully cannot be a slippery bully.


I believe this is what is known as a "mic drop".


Mercuri laid to rest any doubts about whether she was a bot-aspirant. Anyone who's been in EVE long enough to pilot a freighter must surely know the name of the man who rules highsec.


Our Agents had difficulty keeping Mercuri's attention focused on any one point long enough to teach her anything. Her mind was wandering all over the place.


Once again, Mercuri wanted to talk about the real-life identities of those who had ganked her.


Trump The King had nothing to hide, so he was more than willing to reveal his identity. But to what end?


To be continued...