Monday, February 29, 2016

The Destroyer of CODE, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Chip Patton told everyone who would listen that he'd completely destroyed CODE., even going so far as to claim that he was responsible for getting 90% of its members permabanned. Agent loyalanon politely requested evidence, prompting Chip to come up with all sorts of excuses and stories, most of them centering on the fate of a player named Nemuritoru.

The convo was over, but Chip sent additional "information" to loyalanon as he thought of it. The proof that Chip destroyed CODE. had something to do with a group called "IKR". Simply name-dropping IKR was all the vetting Chip could do. He was exhausted.

Though Nemuritoru was able to join new corporations after supposedly being permabanned, Chip suddenly realized that he had a smoking gun. Ignoring Chip's parenthetical remark, the proof that Nemuritoru was banned: "Because Oggie." Chip's proof consisted of making up words at this point.

It was true that Chip had a medal falsely claiming he'd destroyed CODE. But the real issue, according to Chip, was the identity of the player who'd told loyalanon about the medals.

As carebears often do, Chip sent loyalanon another EVEmail without waiting for a reply.

...And another. Chip started off by saying he wanted to attack some CODE. members (despite destroying/permabanning everyone months earlier), but they "were already podded and ran."

It must be frustrating to go to war with a group that you've already driven from the game. Chip was up to the challenge, though he admitted he wouldn't be "the guy in the center of the battlefield."

Destroying CODE. was Chip's proudest achievement, but he wasn't going to brag about it while fighting CODE.

Chip had more thoughts. After pondering the Code, he had to confess that he agreed with a lot of it--a common side-effect of actually reading the Code! Chip felt that AFK players should be eligible for bans, much like the 90% of CODE. members who'd been banned already.

As long as he was typing things, Chip shared another of his war stories. It didn't involve any ships being killed.

The man who had completely removed CODE. from EVE gave some friendly advice on how he thought CODE. should conduct its activities in EVE.

In fact, the more he thought about it, the more Chip came to realize that the Destroyer of CODE. and CODE. were natural allies. Sadly, a reply from loyalanon was not forthcoming. It was time for Chip to take this to the next level.

To be continued...

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Kills of the Week

The New Order shocked highsec this past week, launching an assault on--you guessed it--Uedama. The carebears were taken completely by surprise.

Instead of buying 10 million isk permits and displaying a shred of common sense, freighter pilots continually AFK'ed into Uedama. They were too bot-aspirant to do otherwise: In 45 minutes, a single corp lost three different freighters, for a total of 15 billion isk. Hundreds of freighters were destroyed in a matter of days. CODE.'s damage inflicted for the month reached an all-time high, according to zKillboard, which put the total at 2 trillion isk.

A few highlights from the week of February 21st through February 27th @ 23:59 EVEtime. Enjoy!

skynono's Tengu was a blingy one. It attracted the attention of a small force of gankers who didn't manage to penetrate its shields. The Tengu docked up. But bot-aspirancy is a hard habit to break, and despite a growing force gathering in Uedama, the Tengu undocked and went on autopilot. Agents Karmafleet Is Recruiting, Prixm Wind, Logical Fallacy, Zopiclone, PV Rock, Sophia Soprano, Sasha Cohenberg, Globby, Snigie Audanie, Lissa, Stonewall, Fiara Naol, Hayley, Placebo Sotken, Empire Raider, Ryvarant, Zula Terra, Chocolate Mooses, Jake Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Unwarranted Assumption, Nin Rin, Lawrence Lawton, Justin Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Ghost Shell-Spice, Logical Fatality, Johnathan Kusion, Ben Li, Jeremiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Miner Compliance Officer, Joel Kusion, Turkey Baster, Jackson Kusion, Fiddly Pop, Joshua Kusion, and Yvain Bluewater all got on the kill.

The Tengu was carrying 40 PLEX. (The Loot Fairy is more reluctant to part with PLEX than other items, so none dropped.) In all, skynono lost 52 billion isk--until her 3.2 billion isk pod was snatched up, adding to the butcher's bill.

Victoria Seductive Penken had a 9 billion isk Orca. Among other things, it was carrying a large quantity of salt, which was soon enjoyed by Agents Assassn Gallic, PV Rock, loyalanon, BAE B BLUE, Winnie Po0h, Zopiclone, GR13Fy, Morrigan Laima, Aaaarrgg, Amber Thetawaves, Lament von Gankenheim, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, Alexander Gorbachov, Yvain Bluewater, Prixm Wind, Unfit ForDoody, Hayley, AndersonDA, Logical Fallacy, EveIs ABadGame PleaseQuit, Unwarranted Assumption, Miner Compliance Officer, HipHop Music SMDH, Real Hot Mom, Super Destroyer MkII, Logical Fatality, Africanized Honey Bee, Maximilian Stigeweard, and Shame On You.

Victoria found an interesting new reason to shed tears in local:

The Orca had been bump-tackled, but when it seemed the Orca might pry itself loose, Agent Shame On You activated a warp disruptor. This fact troubled Victoria greatly.

When you disobey the Code and lose your ship, the only reasonable things to do are (1) calm down and (2) buy a permit. Victoria couldn't even get past step one!

I fear Victoria's hauling ships may become priority ganking targets in the future.

Maybe I'm biased, but I feel that the gank of Tazonee Krackle's 9.7 billion isk jump freighter is a fine example of New Order teamwork. Though triple-bulkheaded and bloated to over 450,000 hitpoints, a New Order fleet was more than capable of taking the Anshar apart. Agents Currin Trading, Assassn Gallic, Matt18002, PV Rock, Winnie Po0h, loyalanon, Snigie Audanie, GR13Fy, 412nv Yaken, Jason Kusion, Ryvarant, Josh Tsutola, Zopiclone, John E Normus, Nebulism, Knackered Old Goat, Justin Kusion, shootyou longtyme, Nuclear Fusion Caution, Empire Raider, Joel Kusion, Alexander Gorbachov, Joshua Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, ZAKURELL0 LINDA, InferiDiii, Lawrence Lawton, Johnathan Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Stacey Yaken, Jeremiah Kusion, Fiddly Pop, Sir GanxAlot, Jake Kusion, Turkey Baster, DeadChick Rising, ThatOleSerpent, and Morrigan Laima made highsec proud.

Although the fleet was based out of Uedama and had many Taloses in its ranks, it made its way safely to Niarja without a hint of interference from the Anti-Gankers. In fairness, there were almost no Anti-Gankers in the area, despite (or perhaps because of) the non-stop ganking in Uedama over the previous several days.

How bad can a Skiff fit get? Pretty bad. Thur Tivian equipped a tracking enhancer for his ORE Strip Miner and then filled out his ship with a passive targeter, tracking disruptor, and a missile guidance disruptor. An exotic creature, the Skiff was not long for this world. Agents Zopiclone, PV Rock, Herp A'Derp, Wreck Connoisseur, and Mincing Spaceships put an end to it.

John Bishop's 3.8 billion isk capacitor-tanked Paladin was a flawed ship. But when it comes to highsec carebears, the biggest vulnerability is always human error. It was destroyed by Agents Bladewise, Ninjesus Christ, Merfyn Auscent, and Krig Povelli. Oh, and...

...the safety button couldn't keep John from attracting CONCORD's attention during the fight.

A full slave set and some other decadent implants led Dan Ende to suffer the Podkill of the Week. Agents Lawrence Lawton, T imeLord, and Yvain Bluewater were all quick enough on the trigger to get on the killmail after Dan's 4.1 billion isk freighter was ganked in Uedama.

Nice try, Dan. If this week's carnage didn't make it clear enough, the CODE always wins. Always.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #100

You knew this was coming, and here we are. The number of Grab Bags has gone into triple digits. After all this time, have the carebears of highsec finally learned to stop embarrassing themselves?

It may be another hundred Grab Bags until these miners wise up.

"New requirement" indeed. If only miners were as instinctively attuned to the Code as they are to Miner Bingo quotes.

"I would have paid." I'm telling you, it must be in their DNA!

If killmails didn't exist, the carebears would probably say that we've never ganked a miner before.

We wouldn't know.

As the "instigator" of the New Order, Lucretius Tesla holds me responsible for the loss of his 8 million isk MTU. But he owed me 10 million isk first. A compromise is in order. Tell you what, Lucretius, why don't you give me 10 million isk and we'll call it even.

Dairio Dadunur isn't the first one-handed player who felt it was unfair of others to shoot his spaceships. I still contend that as far as video games go, EVE's controls are uniquely suited to one-handed players.

...Even some rebels agree.

Miners, enjoy life for what it is. Don't get too hung up on what might have been.

Agent Chocolate Mooses had little to offer this miner but the standard advice we give to all.

I sincerely hope "miner calm down" translates easily into Russian. If it does, I haven't seen much evidence of it.

At this point, losing multi-billion isk freighters instead of buying a 10 million isk permit isn't taking a principled stand. It's just weird.

For a potential Gallant, being killed by our Agents is the starting point of a grand adventure. It's what enables a carebear to transition from a life of drudgery and repetition to a life enriched by emergent content. Or, you know, you can whine or quit or petition or make death threats or whatever. EVE's a sandbox.

Without exaggeration, the Code has brought more content into EVE in the last few years than all of the CCP devs combined.

Friday, February 26, 2016

Highsec is Getting Healthier

The health of a civilization's culture is reflected in the quality of the artwork it produces. If Agent Fiddly Pop's work is any indication, highsec is doing great under New Order rule. Fiddly produced three masterpieces, and I'm delighted to share them with you.

If I asked you to write down a bunch of words that come to mind when you think of our Code enforcers, it would be an easy task: Everything good, basically.

Highsec miners need to calm down. Tears don't solve anything. By contrast, antimatter and the Code can make short work of almost any problem.

Still only 10 million isk per year, folks.

As always, permanent links are available to Agent artwork on our Links page.

Over Eight Hundred Fifty-Six Billion in Shares Sold

EVE is more challenging than your average game; it doesn't hold your hand and tell you what to do. If you want to do well in EVE, you need to be able to make smart decisions on your own. Yildez proved that she was more than capable of doing so when she purchased an additional 1,000 shares of New Order stock. Yildez definitely made the right call: Her purchase sent us over the 856 billion isk mark and earned her a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.


More emergent content incoming...

What's this? The New Order Gamis Affiliates corporation sent 1.2 billion isk to Agent Zopiclone.

Excellence and achievement follow the New Order everywhere. It makes sense that something like this would happen.

Zopiclone has impressed a lot of people lately. What an endorsement!

In case you're wondering how you might qualify for a TNOGA scholarship:

It's a really great, inspirational story. The dream is alive in highsec today.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

The Destroyer of CODE, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Chip Patton went around Elite Dangerous claiming that his organization had completely destroyed CODE. by "defeating CODE in a war with nearly 8 nullsec corps, 22 lowsec corps, and 170 highsec corps" and collecting evidence that allowed "CPP to ban nearly 90% of the organization". Agent loyalanon got Chip into a convo and questioned him about this marvelous tale. Chip had some difficulty explaining himself.

The linchpin of Chip Patton's total destruction of CODE. revolved around the permabanning of CODE. member Nemuritoru--who turned out to be neither banned nor ever a member of CODE.
loyalanon > some random non-code person gets banned, how does that affect us?
Chip Patton > You can try that if you want, but all the sudden he's talking mad shit on behalf of code (oh and calling me a liar and everything else like you are) and then up and surrenders and doesn't log back in for nearly a year later...
loyalanon > considering our alliance is still active im not sure i understand how we were destroyed?
loyalanon wasn't interested in stories about shadowy side characters. He wanted to get into the meat and potatoes: Chip's doing something--anything--related to CODE.
Chip Patton > Didn't eve news or something report 1 trillion isk or something like that in that pos you guys had setup with IKR alliance?
loyalanon > what pos?
loyalanon > dude we have one pos and thats in low sec
loyalanon > the conspiracy theories are real XD
Chip had a new theory for how he might've destroyed CODE.: He had faint memories of indirectly stealing or destroying a trillion isk of CODE. assets. Chip was unable to elaborate or remember more details. Considering Chip's long history of amazing feats, a trillion isk here or there is only a minor incident. Hardly memorable at all.
Chip Patton > It was in high sec.
loyalanon > we dont own pos's in high sec lol
Chip Patton > How is it a conspiricy theory?
Chip Patton > Kill: Caldari Control Tower
loyalanon > i dont even know who that alliance is XD
At last, Chip was able to find some documentation. He had a killmail for a POS. Unfortunately, it didn't belong to CODE.
Chip Patton > Nem contracted them.
Chip Patton > To wardec us.
Chip Patton > With nem's dummy alliance.
Chip Patton > And then surrendered. Along with IKR
loyalanon > dont even know who they are XD
Chip Patton > Do I need to speak plainer?
Once again, Chip and loyalanon found themselves in the weeds. Somewhere there's an elaborate corkboard-and-yarn diagram that explains all this.
loyalanon > im not sure how this is related to code
loyalanon > but im open to you telling me how its related to code
Chip Patton > Nem even on your site names him as a member.
Chip Patton > If not pretty high up.
loyalanon > show me the link
As CODE.'s highest-ranking member, loyalanon was reasonably familiar with the alliance's leadership. He didn't know Nemuritoru. It was time for Chip to educate him.
Chip Patton >
loyalanon > being a shareholder doesnt mean you are code XD
loyalanon > anyone can support the alliance
Chip Patton > Yes, that would be a great way to cast doubt and keep the veil if not for
Nemuritoru's status as a high-ranking member of CODE. was supported by Chip's discovery that he owned 1,500 shares of New Order stock--making him the 81st biggest owner of shares. loyalanon dismissed this, since people outside of CODE. can and do own shares. But that's where Chip's other piece of evidence came in. He linked to a post made by Gevlon Goblin.

The post in question was Gevlon's ranking of the most active pilots in all of EVE, sorted by damage inflicted. The post included a listing of every single EVE pilot who did more than 10 billion isk in damage during 2014. Nemuritoru was indisputably on the list. It was all right there in black and white!
loyalanon > i dont even understand whats going on now
loyalanon > XD
loyalanon > you are quite funny ill give you that considering code is still active and apparently you "destroyed" code XD XD XD
Chip Patton > Personal incudelity is what you're going with?
loyalanon mocked Chip's dogged investigation and/or alleged destruction of CODE. Chip couldn't believe it: Was loyalanon really going to sit there and act like he didn't see how all those dots were connected? Really?
loyalanon > im going with - keep the tinfoil hat on
loyalanon > codes still around
loyalanon > you didnt destroy anything
loyalanon > you can find me in uedama if you decide to undock
Chip Patton > You to Loyal (btw isn't thinks like the 3rd convo we've had about nem?)
Chip Patton > You have split personality disorder now?
After enjoying a good laugh, loyalanon went back to work always winning, always. Chip was bitterly disappointed. Why couldn't loyalanon see how CODE. had been destroyed?

Chip was like a dog with a bone. The convo was over, but his investigation was not. He would call upon everything he'd learned in space law school and prove to loyalanon once and for all that he'd destroyed CODE.

This was only the beginning. One way or another, Chip Patton, the Destroyer of CODE, would be vindicated.

To be continued...