Thursday, March 31, 2016

Elite Voice PvP

Highsec industrialist CHLOE OCEAN MURRAY has long threatened the peace and security of highsec. Last year, The WINGSPAN Logo Alliance PvP'ed the carebear and were stunned by CHLOE's attitude on voice comms--which they recorded and put on YouTube.

Fast-forward several months. Agent loyalanon attempted to negotiate the surrender of CHLOE's jump freighter, which was intercepted by a New Order bumper while trying to sneak through the Niarja pipe.

CHLOE seemed to feel she was above it all. She'd been playing EVE since the alpha but never took the time to buy a permit. I'm sure it was the next item on her to-do list.

Like other carebears, CHLOE bragged about her power. In a strange twist, she used that as a reason to buy a permit.

...Or not. Despite her earlier pretense of "respect", CHLOE was reluctant to buy a permit. Struggling to get through to the carebear via text only, loyalanon suggested a casual conversation on TeamSpeak.

Sadly, the convo was inconclusive.

The fate of CHLOE's 7 billion isk jump freighter was sealed. This immediately caught the attention of The WINGSPAN Logo Alliance, which made contact with the New Order and warned our Agents about CHLOE. Within the hour, a file was opened, and one of the New Order's finest investigators was put on the case.

Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet insinuated herself into CHLOE's life. Within minutes, they'd agreed to meet up. Their goal: To prevent CHLOE from losing any more industrial ships.

Over the course of the next hour, the two engaged in what TheInternet referred to as "voice PvP". TheInternet and her fellow Agents on TeamSpeak consistently won the voice PvP, resulting in the transfer of 13 billion isk.

According to TheInternet,
Finally, we confiscated what he referred to as, and I quote, "my daughter's birthday Tengu", as well as another Tengu of the ordinary variety. (Both hulls sold for the same price in Jita, so I don't know what the difference was between the two).

CHLOE's faith was further tested when she was asked to haul 190 Catalysts through Uedama. She wasted no time in abandoning the Code, choosing to cut corners instead. Hauling the package in a bot-aspirant manner, her freighter was destroyed by a combined fleet of the New Order and WINGSPAN.

TheInternet's fears about CHLOE's true motives were confirmed when she checked up on CHLOE's EveWho comments. CHLOE was against us!

So much for their blossoming friendship.

The mudslinging continued. Agent Kalorned, also present during the voice PvP, wasn't spared.

Ultimately, the WINGSPAN's intel proved to be solid; CHLOE was a difficult customer. It's only through the power of the Code that our Agents are able to believe--with all confidence--in the redemption of even a rebel hauler like CHLOE. Her redemption will have to wait, but it will come eventually.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Bushido Versus Code, Part 7

Previously, on MinerBumping... Lillith Darkmoore wanted reimbursement for the 4 billion isk she'd lost to a Code enforcement gank. Agents 412nv Yaken and loyalanon spoke with the miner in good faith, but the more they saw of Lillith, the less worthy of reimbursement she appeared. Lillith urged the Agents to reimburse her. She used every trick in the book. Finally, there was only one card left to play: The threat of revenge from the null big boys.
loyalanon > If i choose to say no to your reimbursement request, then what?
loyalanon > would you still want a mining permit?
Lillith Darkmoore > I am hoping that it wont come to that
Lillith Darkmoore > put a contract up for my losses with a requirement of 30m and the ships and ill acceptit
This conversation was coming to a close. Everyone knew it. You could cut the tension with a knife.
Lillith Darkmoore > accept it
loyalanon > negative
412nv Yaken > As i mentioned earlier, You seem to be doing alot of me, me,me though cant even show faith
Lillith Darkmoore > thatsgood faith
If it came to war, everyone wanted to be able to say that they'd done everything in their power to prevent it. Nobody wanted to be the bad guy in this situation.
Lillith Darkmoore > showing faith is an act that is equally given
Lillith Darkmoore > not required from one side
loyalanon > We do not care about the 30mil or the replacement ships, I am more concerned about your commitment to the code
Lillith Darkmoore > I just gave you a solution on how WE can both have faith in eachother
Though neither side wanted a war, there were things they weren't willing to give up to avoid it. Some values couldn't be compromised, not even to avert a bloody conflict.
loyalanon > Show me you can not afford to replace what you have lost. Send me a full API
loyalanon > so I can verify
Lillith Darkmoore > ill do better what station are you in
Lillith Darkmoore > i will come in a pod
In a last-ditch effort to help Lillith show full faith, loyalanon asked her for an API. Lillith had a different way of accomplishing the same thing: She'd go to a station in a pod.

Wait, what?
loyalanon > why would you do that criminal?
loyalanon > You do understand how API's work right friend?
Lillith Darkmoore > i do
Lillith Darkmoore > but im not giving that out
loyalanon > Then I dont feel you are committed to the code criminal
Lillith Darkmoore > hahaha that is committed to the code
It was as loyalanon feared. Lillith wasn't willing to produce an API. That meant she had something to hide.
Lillith Darkmoore > ill oppen up a trade window and show you more than enough isk
Lillith Darkmoore > or better yet we can meet in Jita
Lillith Darkmoore > then we can fix all of the who owes who stuff
Lillith Darkmoore > thats a fare way to do it
Apparently there was some confusion. loyalanon wanted proof that Lillith was too poor to replace the stuff she'd lost. Lillith was prepared to show she did have money.
loyalanon > Then you need to show commitment my friend
412nv Yaken > Faith and commitment
Lillith Darkmoore > if we dont come to an agreement you will loose a thing called respect, which is worth so much more than isk and faith. You all currently have my respect
Lillith Darkmoore > so i dont want you to loose it
Enough was enough. No more deals, APIs, etc. If Lillith didn't get what she wanted, 412nv Yaken and loyalanon would lose her respect. That's how high the stakes were.
loyalanon > Ive said this before, we have the most respected, trusted and elite pvp'ers in all of eve in our alliance. Why would one highsec miners respect matter to us?
412nv Yaken > Lillith Darkmoore - I already feel disrespected by you
Lillith Darkmoore > no 412 I like you
Lillith Darkmoore > you seem like a really good guy
loyalanon > I feel disrepected by proxy when you thought you could steal James 315's ore without permission or a permit
The way to demonstrate one's respect to an Agent of the New Order is to show respect to the Code and the Saviour who wrote it. Anything else is meaningless lip service.
412nv Yaken > Well im upset that you do not have your permit yet and that you were stealing james 315's ore
Lillith Darkmoore > I belive that you are not understanding that i am not alone here
Lillith Darkmoore > my sincerest appologies
Lillith Darkmoore > for that
It was time. Lillith put her final card on the table for all to see.
loyalanon > Do you have other carebears that you would like to pull into this conversation to represent your interests?
Lillith Darkmoore > We are not carebears
Lillith Darkmoore > we are 3500 man alliance, and 2500 seader alliance
Lillith Darkmoore > that is not someone to laugh at
Lillith was no ordinary solo AFK highsec ice miner. She had an army. A nullsec army.
Lillith Darkmoore > no warning was give
loyalanon > Do police need to warn a bank robber before they arrest him?
Lillith Darkmoore > difference between police and robbers are that police dont dress like robbers and kill people
Lillith Darkmoore > I belive that for the good of everyone here we come up with a good deal
Lillith Darkmoore > because there are guys already on the way out of null for me
Even as they spoke, the vanguard of Lillith's army--6,000 strong--were en route to highsec. Formidable on their own, they were only the tip of the spear. There was little time left to call them back.
Lillith Darkmoore > ok loyal i understand your point we going to get past this now, and we are going to talk about the fact that we are starting with good faith from both of us, you get your ships back and isk, i get my implants back and my ship
Lillith Darkmoore > and we avoide alot of bad losses
Lillith Darkmoore > for both sides
Lillith Darkmoore > which is what we want to do
Lillith reminded the Agents of their options. They could reimburse her 4 billion isk, or they could face the consequences of a deadly war, one which would cost a lot more than 4 billion isk. One which might grow beyond anyone's control.
loyalanon > YOU avoid alot of bad losses, not us friend
Lillith Darkmoore > actualy YOU do. Do you not believe that we have not done this type of stuff before?
Lillith Darkmoore > that this is the first time we will have to play by the highsec ganking rules
Lillith Darkmoore > ?
Lillith Darkmoore > we have done this many times before
Lillith Darkmoore > and we only do it when things like this happen and we can not reach an agreement
This wasn't the first time highsec had been flooded with warriors from Providence. They lived in null, but they knew how to play by ganker rules. This had happened many times before. Why else would the New Order be the only miner ganking organization? The rest had all been wiped out by Lillith's forces.
loyalanon > are you referring to yourself or your alliance
Lillith Darkmoore > I am refurring to everyone that is blue with a * to me
Lillith Darkmoore > and that my friend is alot of people
Lillith Darkmoore > You have one day for me to hear your responce and then you will hear mine. Keep the faith
loyalanon > You can hear my response right now
loyalanon > Reimbursement denied
loyalanon had 24 hours to come to a final decision. Our Agent didn't need 24 seconds. Lillith was a Goofus and therefore ineligible for reimbursement. Peace is not so precious as to be purchased at the Code's expense.

Several weeks have passed. Lillith Darkmoore faded away into obscurity. Of the 6,000 Provi big boys, 0 big boys (or roughly 00% of the available big boy forces) have participated in the war against the New Order. What a scam. They don't follow their own Bushido!

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Bushido Versus Code, Part 6

Yes, this story is still going.

Previously, on MinerBumping... Lillith Darkmoore lost 4 billion isk when her ship and pod were destroyed while AFK mining in a highsec ice anomaly. When Lillith threatened to alert 6,000 nullsec "big boys" from Providence, Agent 412nv Yaken was called in to negotiate reimbursement. Sensing little progress, Lillith escalated her petition. With nothing less than the peace of highsec at stake, Agent loyalanon joined the emergency convo.

All along, Lillith had criticized her gankers for failing to obey the rules of nullsec Bushido. But Lillith herself had failed to comply with the Code--offering little but empty excuses as justification.

loyalanon was deeply troubled by Lillith's demeanor. She sure didn't act like a Gallant miner. Maybe she wasn't one.

Lillith was unaware of even the most basic facts of highsec life.

The miner began filling Miner Bingo squares at an alarming rate.

Now loyalanon could see what 412nv Yaken had been dealing with this whole time. It was impossible to get through to this carebear.
412nv Yaken > Loyal if I may?
412nv Yaken > Lillith Darkmoore Perhaps you can discuss the offer we were reaching an agreement on
Lillith Darkmoore > we were talking about setting up a contract with the cost of his ships and the 30m and i get my stuff back.
Lillith Darkmoore > thats what we had reached
412nv Yaken > no i had said that wouldnt work
412nv tried to help Lillith get back on track. Lillith repaid the favor by misrepresenting their earlier conversation. Treachery!
loyalanon > Lillith Darkmoore why are you prepared to buy a mining permit AFTER you lost your ships?
Lillith Darkmoore > because I want my implants replaced
loyalanon > Lillith Darkmoore that is not a valid reason to get a mining permit friend
loyalanon > a mining permit displayed proudly in your bio means that you respect, understand and support James 315's will for all of high security space which I dont feel you understand or respect.
I've always said that if you want to convict a carebear, just keep them talking and they'll hang themselves. Lillith admitted that she only cared about money.
Lillith Darkmoore > and i want to avoide having a whole bunch of people diverted out of null to come up here and shoot this out
Lillith Darkmoore > it is a reason for getting a mining permit, it keeps you happy and me happy everyone wins
Lillith Darkmoore > so i dont see a down side for you
Next, Lillith appealed to the kind of sordid, backroom Realpolitik that we all know goes on in nullsec.
Lillith Darkmoore > you get to preach that you can convert everyone
Lillith Darkmoore > look at person xyz
Lillith Darkmoore > and I get to say yes they did praze james ooooo
loyalanon > If you dont understand what the mining permit is about then sadly I dont feel someone would issue you one criminal
The highsec miner from Providence badly miscalculated. She wasn't dealing with a power-hungry nullsec politician who only cared about the optics of the situation. loyalanon was a true believer.
Lillith Darkmoore > the mining permit is a way that you get to justify someone "owning highses" and make some isk out of it, lets call it what it really is
Lillith Darkmoore > package it anyway you want, but thats what its all about
loyalanon > 10million isk is not alot of money friend
Lillith Darkmoore > no im not complaning about htat
Lillith Darkmoore > ill pay it
Lillith Darkmoore > i just want my stuff back
Lillith Darkmoore > again everyone is winning
Protip: When speaking with an Agent of the New Order, assume you're dealing with someone who can't be bribed or corrupted. Because they can't.
loyalanon > That doesnt look like thats going to happen friend
Lillith Darkmoore > Friend, I am trying to help you out here
Lillith Darkmoore > i really am
loyalanon > I dont feel any of the directors of code alliance in this chat channel believe your sincerity in buying a mining permit.
Lillith Darkmoore > test it
There was something slimy and off-putting about Lillith. loyalanon didn't like it. When invited to put her integrity to the test, loyalanon wasted no time:
loyalanon > If i choose to say no to your reimbursement request, then what?
loyalanon > would you still want a mining permit?
Lillith Darkmoore > I am hoping that it wont come to that
Needless to say, Lillith failed. However, Lillith still had 6,000 nullsec samurai in her back pocket, if she needed them. Lillith didn't want to have to play that card. Now she had no choice. Time to bring in the big guns.

To be continued...

Monday, March 28, 2016

The Most Elite PvP'er in EVE Online

How well do you know the EVE galaxy? Here's a question for you: Identify the player who is objectively the most elite PvP'er in EVE Online history. I'll give you a moment to think about it.

Maybe you think it's a famous nullsec fleet commander or member of Pandemic Legion. Or perhaps it's a once-famous EVE YouTuber or some wild wormhole dweller or a solo smartbomber who prowls lowsec. Nice guesses, but wrong. The objectively most elite PvP'er in EVE history is none of these. Who is it, then?

Admit it, you knew the answer all along.

Yes, our own Agent loyalanon is the #1 PvP'er.

zKillboard uses a formula to determine the highest-ranked killers of all time. Of the hundreds of thousands of EVE players, loyalanon is tops. Last year, loyalanon briefly reached the #1 rank, but this time is different. Because when we sort the zKillboard ranks by isk destroyed...

...the picture becomes even clearer. loyalanon has destroyed over ten trillion isk.

Let's put these numbers into context. On the last Kills of the Week post, loyalanon's fleet killed a 21 billion isk freighter. It was the 2,001st freighter loyalanon has killed. Let's hear some more stats from loyalanon directly. In an alliance EVEmail, loyalanon reported:
I have reached a new milestone - 10 trillion isk destroyed ./0/ \0\ ./0/

Some interesting stats as at the time of the evemail-

2,029 Freighters destroyed
1,621 Mining barges destroyed
2,769 Exhumers destroyd
598 Industrial Command Ships

Id like to thank our supreme commander - James 315 for being an inspiration.

The mighty Code Alliance for always having my back,

The Conference Elite for answering the calls to gank freighters even if its just 1 gank and you have to jump 20 jumps.

Miniluv for being our goon overlords.

I wouldnt have been able to do this all by myself.

There's an important point to be made in all of this. Remember, Anti-Ganking's job is to stop people like loyalanon from getting any kills. But instead, loyalanon has roamed highsec at will, slaughtering enemies in a way that no other player has, ever.

You may ask yourself, "What's the secret to loyalanon's success? How can I perform such elite PvP?" Well, loyalanon's secret is no secret. Take a look:

Of course! loyalanon's killing spree was powered by the Code. Forget skillpoints, bling, fitting theorycrafting, blobbing, and all of that other nonsense. The way to win in EVE is through the Code. loyalanon proved it!

You say you're a pragmatist? You say you're for whatever works? Download your very own copy of the Code today. The CODE works every time it's tried. Always.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Kills of the Week

As many of you know, CCP recently gave a 50% bonus to hull EHP to every ship in the game. CCP Fozzie explained that this change (in addition to playing a role in the rebalance of Damage Control units) was intended as a nerf to freighter ganking. Was this the end of the New Order?

Apparently not.

Within days, carebears were whining about too many freighter ganks and encouraging CCP to nerf freighter ganking. Such is bot-aspirancy.

Speaking of which, let us see how the bot-aspirants fared during the week of March 20th @ 00:00 EVEtime through March 26th @ 23:59 EVEtime. Probably not very well, but it never hurts to double-check.

Jump freighters, of course, got the biggest hitpoint boost. Bergie Seltzer's Anshar was triple-bulkheaded, bringing his ship to 553,000 hitpoints before resistances. But it was no match for the New Order and its epic fleet of 60 gankers, including Taloses, stealth bombers, and plenty of Catalysts.

Agents Krominal, AndroGon Navy, Nikonor Drishenko, HABEPHO, Dredd Simon, Assassn Gallic, Jason Kusion, Keraina Talie-Kuo, Aaaarrgg, Jayson Kusion, Turkey Baster, GR13Fy, SynthiaGreey, loyalanon, Anthologee, TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet, Zula Terra, Get Well Soon, Ben Li, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, Efrosyni Dora, Georgia Agape, Avdokia Sofia, PostOp Transexual, Rogral, Empire Raider, Velia Canus, Kristopher Rocancourt, Zahard Ignis, Zuzu Aqua, Kiki Sotiria, Natasa Melpomeni, Kyveli Aglaia, Nomiki Marianna, Melina Timothea, Konstantina Demi, Senator BobDoLe, Jake Kusion, Booka Shade, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Fiddly Pop, Jayden Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Itake Urcargo, Kibbera, AG Fails Daily, Johnathan Kusion, Shoulda paidthe Ransom, Joshua Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Nice Freighter, Gentaros, Why so Pleb, Freighter Repo, Charlotte Lowell, Ero, Hellkite Drake, MilkyPidgeon, and Stavroula Theodora proved once again that while the carebears cry and beg for nerfs, the New Order adapts and overcomes every challenge.

lovely Trader lost a staggering 14.4 billion isk freighter. She, too, fell prey to a massive gank fleet: Agents Logical Fallacy, The Proctologist, Yvain Bluewater, Talon Calais, Yojiro, BAE B PEW, Nin Rin, Victoria Valentines, Prixm Wind, Miros Homar, Hayley, Anthologee, Ganku Desu, Jack Fizzleblade, Turkey Baster, Jason Kusion, BAE B BLUE, Jayson Kusion, Miner Compliance Officer, Sasha Cohenberg, AG Fails Daily, FC give pap, Unwarranted Assumption, Justin Kusion, Gader'eI, Bratok Srayona, Logical Fatality, Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Salia Foxwell, Jeremiah Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Why so Pleb, Joseph Kusion, Freighter Repo, Joshua Kusion, and Hold my pleb.

...And guess whose alt that freighter belonged to?

Yes, it was our old pal, X-FEANOR. According to his own calculations, he's lost over 177 billion isk to suicide ganking. He still won't spare 10 million isk for a permit.

X-FEANOR started talking about drugs, prostitution, and arms trading, but that sort of conversation belongs in the Anti-Ganking channel.

The New Order has brought the light of the Code to highsec, even the 1.0 security systems. Ascam managed to lose nearly 21 billion isk when his freighter came under fire from yet another oversized gank fleet:

Agents Gaara's sniper, Ebony Sniper, Angel Logistics, SynthiaGreey, Gerovit, Gilgamesh the King, Pride the Arrogant, Mildron Klinker, Jeanne D' Arc, Hassan- i Sabbah, Gilles de Rais, Siegfried Dragon-Blooded Knight, Diarmuid O' Duibhne, Tamamo no Mae, Dredd Simon, Vlad III Tepes, Winnie Po0h, Michael the Archangel, Zula Terra, Morrigan Laima, PostOp Transexual, Victoria Valentines, Seeker of Vengeance, Kblickens, GR13Fy, Zopiclone, Jack Fizzleblade, Wrath the Furious, Samsa, Sloth the Indolent, loyalanon, FLYFIGHTWIN, Gluttony the Voracious, Schizz Popinov, Asvane, Jim Fizzleblade, Fritz Flizzleblade, Greed the Avaricious, Jayson Kusion, Lust the Lascivious, Irritainment, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, Envy the Jealous, Jason Kusion, Ludwig Fizzleblade, Evdokia Sofia, Efrosyni Dora, ThatOleSerpent, AR0BAZ, Rick Therapist, Georgia Agape, Joel Kusion, Brutal Anna, Justin Kusion, Jake Kusion, Konstantina Demi, Gader'eI, Kiki Sotiria, Bratok Srayona, and Rudolf Sabezan.

This particular freighter was incredibly expensive, but the gank was special for another reason. I'll keep that reason a secret until tomorrow's post.

The New Order loves its suicide ganks. We also take full advantage of all other means by which elite PvP can be accomplished in highsec. Dorona Audanie felt herself fully equipped for battle in her 620 million isk faction battleship. She didn't shy away from a fight with Agent Big Gradner Painhaus. Not for one moment.

But the CODE always wins. Always--even when flying Enyos. Dorona was deeply disturbed by her loss. As the battle went against her, Dorona rage-quit. However, she was apparently unaware that her pod remained in space. Our hero probed down the pod and inflicted another 2.4 billion isk loss. The mission-runner's pod contained an illegal Michi's Excavation Augmentor, naturally.

Khamsi Amilupar and a friend were caught running a complex without a New Order permit. Amusingly, their Gilas were mostly AFK, content to let their drones wipe out the infinitely spawning NPCs while their shields ran an impressive tank. The PvE practically performed itself. This level of bot-aspirancy outraged Agent PV Rock, who vowed to bring the lawbreakers to justice.

Sometimes a little energy neutralization goes a long way. The other Gila was also destroyed, thanks to Agent Wreck Connoisseur.

wizprang58 lost his Mackinaw and his 4.6 billion isk pod. Agent Liek DarZ examined the contents of the pod. In addition to a High-grade Crystal set, there was a Michi's Excavation Augmentor.

Based on a typical highsec miner's isk/hour rate, wizprang58 lost a few hundred hours worth of highsec mining in a single gank. Some people don't mind wasting their time, I suppose.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #102

Suggested addition to the patch notes:
  • The CODE still always wins.
  • Always.
Welcome to the latest edition of the Grab Bag!

Why, is something the matter?

Yes, you're wrong.

No, yes, and absolutely yes.

I enjoy a stack of flapjacks as much as the next guy, but I like the Code a little more. Always dock up before you tend to your kitchen. In an emergency, you can request an Agent's permission to go AFK.

More evidence that mining--despite what the carebears say--really isn't all that relaxing.

Agent Zopiclone is right: The New Order brings lasting change to everyone we encounter. No one cares when a carebear quits EVE, but our legacy will endure long after CCP shuts down.

CAUTION: People are selling fake mining permits in the trade hubs now. What a scam!

Living up to his name, Satyr 'Snuffbox' Apex would rather undock without pants than without a permit. Years ago, Seven Koskanaiken had a similar thought (NSFW?).

Don't worry if a miner has already rejected the Code on previous occasions. Some miners need to be asked a question many, many times before they're ready to give the right answer.

Diamond Ryan ran afoul of the Code and lost multiple ships. Had the point been made?

This is why we never give up. We'll keep going until every man, woman, and child in highsec obeys the Code.

A lot of people have been thanking me for making highsec great again. I appreciate the sentiment, but it's a little misleading. The use of the word "again" could imply that highsec used to be great at some point in the past. In truth, highsec was never great until the New Order arrived. Our aim is to make highsec great for the first time. Better than that, to make highsec perfect! We're well on our way.