Saturday, August 31, 2013

The True Test of a Man, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Rabid carebear Ria'ac Aideron fulminated against the New Order when Agent Lenda Shinhwa destroyed his Retrievers. But after some time, Lenda talked him into buying a mining permit and spending 30 million isk to get off the Red Pen list. With a pledge of loyalty to me in his bio, Ria'ac was on his way to a great new EVE career.

Lenda mentioned the possibility of getting Ria'ac reimbursed for the mining ships he'd lost. After asking around, Ria'ac got in touch with Agent Ophidia Black. She was more than happy to help a new convert.

Since Ophidia wasn't there when the killings occurred, she asked for proof of loss. This gave Ria'ac a great opportunity to go down memory lane and think about his pre-Order days.

Death and rot. That is the only truth of the carebear existence. Without the Order and its Code, all miners are doomed.

But now that Ria'ac was on board with the New Order, all of that would change. He could make a clean break with his sordid past.

Ophidia offered to give Ria'ac back everything he had lost. But first she would need the same amount to be transferred into her wallet. If Ria'ac demonstrated total faith, she could double his isk, thereby reimbursing him.

This confused Ria'ac. He wasn't familiar with any other reimbursement plans that worked this way.

A speedbump was hit when Ria'ac revealed that his wallet was nearly empty. Ophidia was eager to help him anyway, and suggested another plan.

All Ria'ac needed to do was show total faith, and he would be reimbursed in a jiffy.

Things weren't off to a great start. Ria'ac was deeply skeptical and suspicious of Ophidia.

The good news was that Ophidia was being totally honest. She would give everything back and reimburse Ria'ac. Agents of the New Order are always true to their word. Would Ria'ac have the courage to take advantage of this opportunity?

Ria'ac had doubts. He knew from experience that he could trust the New Order, even though he had been on the Red Pen list only a few days before. Still, giving up all of his possessions was a lot to ask of a newly-reformed carebear.

Ophidia was taken aback by Ria'ac's lack of trust. Reimbursement was strictly optional. She was under no obligation to help him out.

Despite his doubts, Ria'ac wanted the reimbursement. Ophidia wasn't lying; she would do exactly as promised. Ophidia Black would not scam Ria'ac, that much was certain. Could the Red Penned carebear Ria'ac Aideron take the final step and turn over a new leaf?

To be continued...

Friday, August 30, 2013

The Faith of the New Order

Previously, on MinerBumping... Mad rebel Jennifer en Marland and her alt suffered horrific losses when her plan to use two tech II fitted battleships to gank my Invincible Stabber backfired.

In the world of law enforcement, you don't always find a smoking gun. But the evidence of Jennifer's treason was staring the world in the face: Two large smartbombs that she intended to use to pod me--before everything went terribly right.

Everyone and his dog knows by now that I am a merciful ruler of highsec. It is not my wish that any rebel would have to suffer the consequences of resisting the Code. But because I am also a just and fair ruler of highsec, they do suffer said consequences.

I hoped that after losing a third of a billion isk for no reason, Jennifer might be shocked back into reality. I had defeated her in honourable PvP. Since I am always magnanimous in victory, I sought to reason with her. She already had me on "block".

I tried dialing up her alt, but he already had me blocked, too. When people cut themselves off from society, they sometimes do weird things like suicide their battleships. My reaction was twofold. First, I was disappointed by Jennifer's intransigence. Second, I was puzzled by CCP's decision to title the dialog box "Not Allowed". Not very specific, is it?

As Father of the New Order, it was my responsibility to report this attack to my Agents. It was important and amusing intel.

Most Agents were stunned to hear of the gank battleship duo. Every day the rebels sink to new lows, it seems.

Meanwhile, I grilled the usual suspects in local for more information. Legendary curmudgeon SPIONKOP was skulking about, but he disavowed all knowledge of the attack.

Then I received a convo invitation from a bot-aspirant in local. He wanted to know if the attack had succeeded. Upon hearing of my Invincibility, he terminated the convo.

JackFrost Saissore, who had remained docked up since I bumped him an hour earlier, was also disappointed to learn that he wouldn't be able to resume mining.

I returned to the station to dump the loot from the two battleships into my hangar. I noticed that Jennifer was docked in the station as well. Though it's impossible to speak with someone who has you blocked, you can still open up a trade window. I took one of the bullets from her wreck and offered it to her.

Jennifer is always silent. She has resisted all efforts that the New Order has made to communicate with her. The trade window remained open for a long time. Finally, a green checkmark appeared. She would accept the bullet.

There is much work to be done in highsec. We win hearts and minds on a daily basis, yet some miners close themselves off from us. They build walls around their hearts and minds, refusing to let anything in. Jennifer is among the most stubborn of these. When she accepted the trade, limited though it was, I couldn't help but feel that a bridge was built between our two cultures. For one brief moment, an understanding was reached. One day, everyone in highsec will live in harmony together under the Code.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Quitters Never Win

Agent Galaxy Pig, a chivalrous Knight of the Order, ganked and podded a foul criminal named Boliviani diGriz. Then Galaxy Pig sent her a standard-issue termination notice. This sort of thing happens many times each and every day. Business as usual.

Fortune was on Boliviani's side: Her dead pod was worth over a billion isk, further encouraging her to rethink her AFK lifestyle. We see better results when a miner suffers a crushing loss, as opposed to losing their money drip-by-drip.

Boliviani stunned Galaxy Pig by replying to the termination notice with a passive-aggressive EVEmail, rather than an apology.

In a tragic turn of events, Boliviani confessed that she had flown what she couldn't afford to lose. She should have thought about that before gambling it all away on an illegal mining op. Then Boliviani thought it over for a few minutes and sent another EVEmail:

I don't like it when people try to justify their bad behavior by saying they're doing it for their children. Be honest, people, you're only going to spend that extra, ill-gotten money on yourself. If you really want to help out your kids, set a good example so they don't grow up to be criminals. Anyway, Boliviani became even more fixated on the idea of quitting EVE. She couldn't imagine playing the game in a manner consistent with the Code.

Boliviani's defeatism came on the heels of several other miners announcing their intention to quit the game just in the past couple weeks:

Contrary to popular belief, it's not a bad thing when people quit EVE. The highsec community doesn't benefit from packing in as many people as possible. I'm in favor of quality, not quantity. We'd be better off with a handful of really good highsec players than having hundreds of thousands of bot-aspirants who contribute nothing. In fact, I'd rather the servers be completely unpopulated than have a single bot-aspirant online, if that's the choice.

A few minutes later, Boliviani set another EVEmail to Agent Galaxy Pig. She was still feeling sorry for herself and her lack of money. Pop quiz, hotshot: Was Boliviani really a helpless noob who was driven to quit EVE after losing everything from a gank?

Apparently not. A few hours later, Boliviani plunked down a 430 million isk bounty on Galaxy Pig. Then she put down hundreds of millions more on Galaxy Chicken, the other ganker who had assisted on the kills.

Galaxy Pig rightly called Boliviani out on her lies. If she'd been broke, where did she get the bounty money from?

In any event, Boliviani declared that she was broke for real now, having spent the last of her money on bounties. And she was quitting EVE.

...and that was the last anyone heard of Boliviani diGriz. Perhaps we're turning a corner. The longer the New Order sticks around, the more carebears will realize that our Code isn't going anywhere. This is how highsec is now. If you don't like it, mine in lowsec. If you're too cowardly to do that, don't assume anyone's going to care if you quit.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The True Test of a Man, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Highsec miner Ria'ac Aideron became enraged after Agent Lenda Shinhwa ganked two of his Retrievers and pods. After having a nice chat with Ria'ac, Lenda was no closer to getting Ria'ac to accept the Code. Instead, Ria'ac doubled-down by producing more hostility and invective.

Lenda had no choice but to put Ria'ac on the Red Pen list. Concerned about the carebear's future, Lenda checked up on him and was appalled to see that he'd hit rock bottom--mining without a permit in a Venture. This resulted in a convo request.
Ria'ac Aideron > oh hey there
Ria'ac Aideron > hey guess what im ready to pay
Ria'ac Aideron > you want 10 mil isk or not?
Lenda Shinhwa > I always do. Just have to make my wallet flash.
Still a little impish, Ria'ac sent a small amount of isk just to make Lenda's wallet flash.
Lenda Shinhwa > Yeah, that didn't quite do it. Try a few more zeros.
Ria'ac Aideron > you said you wanted me to make your wallet flash
Ria'ac Aideron > i did
Lenda Shinhwa > Play around all you like. You're the one down 3 mining ships, two pods, and 67mil +/- isk.
Ria'ac Aideron > i was just kidding
Ria'ac Aideron > and i dont really care about all those mining ships, i can just buy more money
Like so many other highsec miners, Ria'ac pretended not to care about money. Lenda wasn't fooled. By their very nature, carebears care. Ria'ac coughed up the money.

The 10 million isk was transferred to its rightful owner. This was a good start.
Lenda Shinhwa > Oh very nice. Now there is just the matter of the 30mil isk you owe me for the red pen violations.
Ria'ac Aideron > red pen?
Ria'ac Aideron > whats that again?
Lenda Shinhwa > profanity and insults directed at an agent of the New Order results in the offender being added to the list of severe violators.. its written in a red pen.. so red pen violation.
Ria'ac Aideron > lol you really charge money for that?
Ria'ac Aideron > i cant believe you guys
Ria'ac's ignorance got the better of him. He had no idea that he still owed an additional 30 million isk. He was in more debt to the New Order than he knew. And without paying the full debt, his mining permit was useless.
Lenda Shinhwa > Yes, we at the New Order uphold the highest principals.
Ria'ac Aideron > lol you guys take things way to seriously
Lenda Shinhwa > The hole you dig is getting fairly deep. Lets get the 30mil transfer over with so we can be friends instead.
Ria'ac Aideron > hmmm ill consider
Ria'ac Aideron > once i get the money
Ria'ac Aideron > ill need to be doing missions since obviously you wont stop
Lenda Shinhwa > I will stop. I would have stopped 2 days ago. I am a man of honor. Code compliant miners are some of my best friends, in Eve.
Ria'ac had a lot of learning to do. He didn't know whether or not he could trust Lenda to keep his word. Can you believe that?
Lenda Shinhwa > get off the red pen list, live by the Code, and neither I nor any other New Order agent will bother you. If you ask, and we can help, we might even do that too.
Ria'ac Aideron > get off the red pen list? how?
Lenda Shinhwa > You hate homework I know, but if you read the site, you'll even see where we've bought pimped out mackinaws for permit holders.
Lenda Shinhwa > 30mil isk is the fee.
Lenda Shinhwa > I would love to see this story come to a happy ending. When do you think you will have it?
Ria'ac Aideron > once i can buy some plex
Ria'ac Aideron > or once i do a few missions
Ria'ac was a sworn enemy of the New Order, but after being ganked so many times, he began to reconsider the road he was on.

Ria'ac still had a long way to go. Luckily, Agents love to help people.
Ria'ac Aideron > wait just to clarify
Ria'ac Aideron > you kill people that afk mine?
Lenda Shinhwa > i reprocess the mining equipment of miners who don't follow the Code.
Ria'ac Aideron > whats the code again?
Lenda Shinhwa >
Ria'ac Aideron > ok
Ria'ac Aideron > so thats the code
It has been my experience that miners learn more about proper EVE play in 10 minutes of reading the Code than they learn in all the weeks, months, or years preceding it.
Ria'ac Aideron > not to be mean or anything but why are you guys so sensitive about being insulted?
Ria'ac Aideron > 30 mil? for insulting?
Lenda Shinhwa > Don't you expect to be treated respectfully?
Ria'ac Aideron > well yeah but do you really want to charge people for insulting? theres always going to be pissed off players that insult you like me
Lenda Shinhwa > That is only because they have not decided to live by the Code. But really, we could charge for whatever we want. I think 10m for a permit and 30m to get off the red pen list are way to small amounts. But James 315 sets the fees.
Ria'ac Aideron > and how can players have freedom if you guys are charging this kind of money? isnt that what the code is about? having freedom?
Ria'ac was on the verge of converting to the Code, but he still had questions. Having questions is fine. Agents are here to answer them.
Lenda Shinhwa > Even freedom has limitations placed on it for the good of the community. New Eden is certainly a community.
Ria'ac Aideron > so to teach people you kill them and make them lose hard earned progess? yeah because that definately sounds like freedom to me
Lenda Shinhwa > is the most widely read eve blog. we are also widely mentioned on the eve forums. All the warning that need be given has for any pilot that actively participates.
Ria'ac Aideron > ive been telling my friends about you guys to make sure your legit
Lenda Shinhwa > Cool.
Ria'ac Aideron > and apparently you guys are pretty well known
Lenda mentored Ria'ac like a pro. Had the lessons sunk in? Later, Ria'ac opened up a new convo with Lenda.

At last, Ria'ac was willing to put his bot-aspirancy behind him and walk a new path.

Having willingly given up his money for the sake of a better highsec, Ria'ac was a new man.

Now everyone who came into contact with Ria'ac in the asteroid belts could learn from his example. From Red Pen to blue ribbon!

Like a proud father, Lenda patted the young lad on the back and reminded him to build his EVE career upon the solid foundation of the Code.

'Twas another extraordinary victory of the New Order, which wins hearts and minds as well as battles.

Ria'ac assured his mentor that he would play EVE the way it was meant to be played. The New Order way.

Later, Ria'ac went searching for an Agent of the New Order to see if he could get his dead Retrievers and pods reimbursed. He came across Agent Ophidia Black. No longer in the presence of the man who had ganked him three times, it was time to find out if the carebear's conversion to the New Order had been sincere. Ophidia decided to put Ria'ac to the ultimate test.

To be continued...