Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Tapestry of Tears, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... Anti-Ganker Lahnius switched sides and joined the mighty CODE. alliance as Vaughn Law, a Venture-ganker. However, when Vaughn's conspiracy theories weren't accepted by alliance leadership, he vowed to turn his guns against CODE. again.
Vaughn Law > i hate this
Vaughn Law > i busted my ass to fiught for code
Vaughn Law > and got shit on for being a part ofd the code
Yabba Dabba Do > for ten days, was it that hard
Vaughn lamented the implosion of his promising career.
Vaughn Law > how stupid this is
Lewak > by unleashing your inner miner upon us
Lewak > should have embraced the code and left ur miner ways
Vaughn Law > Lewak stfu asshole
Vaughn Law > Lewak IO DONT HEAR YOU blocked
The Anti-Ganker turned ganker turned Anti-Ganker was rapidly gaining enemies. No matter. He no longer cared to listen to them.
Vaughn Law > i hated CODE in the beggining ... i hunted code daily ... then i realized i was making a mistake ... so i joined code ... but now i see its the biggest mistaker i ever made ... and thats because of so many asshats in coide\
Vaughn Law > i made a mistale
Vaughn Law > mistake
Vaughn Law > some tell me im wrong
Vaughn Law > please
Vaughn couldn't believe what a mistake(s) he'd made. How could he have misjudged so many people, repeatedly?
Koruma Darrknauv > Come on TS and we can work it out man
Vaughn Law > Koruma Darrknauv i did tas
Trump The King > vaughn
Trump The King > come on comms
Vaughn Law > Trump The King I DID
CODE. leadership wasn't willing to cut the ganker loose so easily. There were still Agents who believed Vaughn could be persuaded to see reason--but only on TeamSpeak.
Lillie Naari > come back on there is no recording
Trump The King > i want to talk to you 1 on 1
Vaughn Law > why so i can be shit on some more?
Vaughn Law > for loving code?
Vaughn Law > you guys are assholes
Unfortunately, Vaughn felt he couldn't trust CODE. leadership anymore--or the security of CODE.'s TeamSpeak server.
Vaughn Law > i set my refineries to private ... only to accept code ... and i get shit on like this?
Vaughn Law > Trump The King I FUCKING TRIED
Yabba Dabba Do > 10 days game time on an alt so you could sperg like this, hardly worth it was it
Vaughn Law > Yabba Dabba Do stfu you haveno idea who i am
Some in CODE. doubted Vaughn's commitment to the alliance. They weren't convinced that he was the tireless, self-sacrificing martyr he portrayed himself to be. I mean, he'd been a member of CODE. for barely more than a week.
Vaughn Law > im done ... im out ... vaughn law stays until he is evicted ... but then my ties with alt 00 in nakugard are gone ... refineries no longer accept code
Vaughn Law > and i pull them down
Vaughn Law > my eve will be all about killing code ... you assholes are not code ... yer just assholes
Lewak > back to square one then
In the past, Vaughn had always trusted Agent Alt 00 above all. But now, after seeing the kind of crowd she ran with, even that relationship was in doubt.
Cautiously Pessimistic > Come on don't resort to violence
Trump The King > we will be civil
Vaughn Law > Trump The King not going to happen ... you shit on me enough
Vaughn Law > NO
Vaughn Law > im done ... my eve is about hunting code
Vaughn Law > you caused this
Vaughn made a vow: From now on, all of his efforts would be directed toward the absolute destruction of the CODE. alliance. There was no turning back (again).
Cautiously Pessimistic > CODE. is full of polite people
Vaughn Law > Cautiously Pessimistic STFU
Vaughn Law > this abouyt me and one
Vaughn Law > he screwd me over
Vaughn Law > im going back to ag
Vaughn Law > this is bullshit
The former Anti-Ganker realized that he never should have left the anti-Code organization. The rebels had it right: Ganking was bad. If only Vaughn had seen it sooner. But would they take him back?
Cautiously Pessimistic > Give peace a chance
Vaughn Law > Cautiously Pessimistic i told you to stfu ... dont any of you losten?
Vaughn Law > Trump The King no, you ruined it ... im going to hunt alt 00 ... he cant control 11 cats ... i will make fun of it ... ask james about Lahnius ... he knows what im capable of ... you will find this out
Vaughn Law > IM DOMNE
Koruma Darrknauv > No ur not, you will keep going
Even former friend Alt 00 would be in Vaughn's crosshairs now. Using the insights he'd gained from his brief time in CODE., he was confident that he could disrupt Alt 00's ganking operations.
Australian Excellence > Vaughn Law come into a private channel on teamspeak with me and another member of code leadership and we'll sort it out
Vaughn Law > waking up yet?
Vaughn Law > Australian Excellence stfu
Vaughn Law > you have no idea who i am
Vaughn Law > or what i am capable of
Australian Excellence > I dont know nobodies, you know who I am tho
It occurred to Vaughn that some CODE. members might not be familiar with his true identity, the rebel Lahnius. Perhaps that was why they had such a cavalier attitude.
Vaughn Law > you guys are fukcin stupid
Australian Excellence > Vaughn Law you can come on and speak with a diplomat or just sit in alliance and sulk
Vaughn Law > im done ... later
After an hour ranting and raving in Alliance chat, Vaughn was completely exhausted. There was no point in continuing. His time in CODE. was done.
Vaughn Law > so did the Vaughn hate stop? come on now, you know, hate on the guy actually suprting CODE?
Ten minutes later, Vaughn returned to Alliance chat and tested the waters. Maybe there was still hope for a reconciliation.

To be continued...

Monday, July 30, 2018

Tapestry of Tears, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Lahnius renounced the Anti-Gankers and created a ganker alt, Vaughn Law. Vaughn joined the mighty CODE. alliance and began ganking miners. After a few months, however, he began to notice signs of sabotage and disloyalty all around him. Vaughn joined Alliance chat and made a series of shocking accusations.
Vaughn Law > Trump The King i cant wait to see you gone
Trump The King > good luck with that
holdmybeer > I've been listening to you too much and your iq is like 75
Yabba Dabba Do > that high ?
Vaughn Law > holdmybeer STOP;
Vaughn's main enemy was the freighter-ganking fleet commander, Trump The King. But soon other CODE. members joined Alliance chat, too.
holdmybeer > just one name
Vaughn Law > Trump The King KK THANKS
holdmybeer > YOu can't do it? ok
Vaughn Law > holdmybeer DUDE OK OK WTF IS IT YOU WANT?
Trump The King > hes told you
holdmybeer > I just told you...
Vaughn had claimed that Agents of the New Order were slaughtering permit-holders. Our Agents defended their honour by demanding evidence in the form of a single name. The name of even one unjustly ganked miner was all it would take to satisfy this demand.
Trump The King > Vaughn Law next complaint?
Vaughn Law > Trump The King isnt the one enough? or are you ag?
Trump The King > you dont have one
Trump The King > do you
Vaughn Law > Trump The King i did and i said it ... oh wait you are either marmite or ag or both
Though Vaughn was unable to identify any improperly ganked miners, he didn't need to. Instead, he went deeper: At the heart of the conspiracy was Agent Trump himself.
Vaughn Law > is that you kypp?
Trump The King > name one code compliant person whos been ganked
Trump The King > we are waiting
Cautiously Pessimistic > I'm high but even this looks too weird
Vaughn grew ever more convinced that Trump--despite ganking trillions of isk worth of Code violators--was actually an Anti-Ganker. Or at least some kind of anti-Code operative.
Lewak > are you ag vaughn?
Vaughn Law > Trump The King lol ... i used to be ag ... and james blogged about me changing sides ... but you ... you are a complete asshat
Cautiously Pessimistic > This is some high grade trolling or something
Vaughn Law > Cautiously Pessimistic back out
Cautiously Pessimistic > You do realize you're making yourself look like an idiot right
In fact, Vaughn was the only member of the chat who had ever aligned himself with the Anti-Gankers. But the intrepid Vaughn continued his investigation.
Trump The King > come back when you learn how to pvp
Vaughn Law > lmao tghis is stupid ... i have not seen so many matching ip addresses between code, ccp, and ag ... this is really wierd
Koruma Darrknauv > Vaughn Law What is my IP?
It's unclear where Vaughn got his IP address data from, but he now believed he had evidence that CODE., Anti-Ganking, and even CCP itself were infiltrated. Maybe he thought everyone's IP address was
Vaughn Law > good lawd so many alts now coming out of the woodwork
Vaughn Law > yet he cant control me here
Vaughn Law > HE CANT
Vaughn Law > cuz he is a peeon
Australian Excellence > Vaughn Law feel free to come on teamspeak and discus this with code leadership
Trump The King > Vaughn Law
Trump The King > come on teamspeak
Unable to reason with Vaughn, CODE.'s distinguished leadership determined that Alliance chat was not the proper venue for such a conversation.
Vaughn Law > Australian Excellence why you cant handle the chat?
Australian Excellence > I want to moderate the chat as a leader in code, teamspeak is the easiest
Lewak > so you gonna get back to ag now or what?
Vaughn Law > Trump The King ok meh give me the ts
Trump The King >
Vaughn was extended an invitation to join TeamSpeak for a private conference. Vaughn accepted. Everyone had high hopes for a fruitful conversation.
Koruma Darrknauv > He has come to sow decent in the ranks like the Russians do on Facebook
Lewak > he left
Koruma Darrknauv > did he leave TS?
Trump The King > yeah
Trump The King > because sex kitten started recording
Cautiously Pessimistic > External software is always useful for this
Alas, an unfortunate breach of diplomatic protocol scuttled the talks before they could get underway.
Vaughn Law > i am embarassed to be in CODE
Trump The King > Vaughn Law
Vaughn Law > Trump The King fu
Vaughn Law > leaving,... this is embarassing
Furious at Agent Sex K1tten's attempt to record the conversation, Vaughn felt betrayed. He couldn't believe that someone would try to pull a stunt like that on CODE.'s TeamSpeak server.
Trump The King > come back on teamspeak
Trump The King > we kicked the person who was recording
Vaughn Law > code is ana embarassment
Trump The King > come back on comms
Trump The King > i want to talk to you 1 on 1
Vaughn Law > i am going to hunt each and everyone of you
Vaughn no longer felt at home in the CODE. alliance. He decided to switch sides. Again.
Yabba Dabba Do > oh noes
Vaughn Law > this is shitty]
Vaughn Law > i hate this
Vaughn Law > i busted my ass to fiught for code
From this day forward, Vaughn would be an enemy of CODE. Again.

To be continued...

Sunday, July 29, 2018

Kills of the Week

The CODE always wins, always. Since we only experience victory after victory after victory, it can be easy to lose sight of how different EVE is for our enemies. The rebels are constantly suffering. That's how it goes for those who oppose the Code. From the week of July 22nd @ 00:00 EVEtime through July 28th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

It sounds like you lost a war, bud.

In fact, being in a war with the mighty CODE. alliance can be tough. This week, from a different wardec:

Good Stuff - Building Community corp lost four of these refineries, for a total loss of 10.8 billion isk. Agents Blazing Pancake, Sigrid Tystnad, Discofitta, Kissemurra, Delicate Feminine Flower, Ice is Nice, Rainbow Cake, Chocolate Rainbow Cake, Dominated, Jathrine, Love Humps, and Kermakakku sent in an elite team of Bhaalgorns to take them down. It's not every day you see CODE. members using Bhaalgorns, but there you go.

There's nothing "good" about bot-aspirancy. And bot-aspirants certainly don't know anything about community.

How do you lose 39 billion isk in highsec? Autopilot in an unlicensed freighter, of course. Apollo609 reduced his Charon's hitpoints with cargo expanders and headed straight for Uedama. It didn't take the Kusion family long to find out what was going on in their backyard. Agents Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Josh Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, and HSM Vice Admiral got together and barbecued the freighter.

How do you lose 39 billion isk in highsec? Niels B0hr had a different answer: Use a Deep Space Transport. He, too, tried to smuggle billions worth of contraband through Uedama. But the Kusion family doesn't discriminate. They'll kill any target worthy of their attention, even if it's not technically a freighter. Agents Joseph Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jason Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Josh Kusion, and Jeremy Kusion grilled the Bustard and fed upon the loot it dropped.

Poor, innocent newbie Charly Lomt was autopiloting his rookie ship through the Niarja pipe when he found himself being griefed and bullied by the ruthless Agent Aaaarrgg. This caused Charly to quit EVE and cost CCP some valuable subscription revenue--leading directly to the impending death of the game. Or, at least, that's what the Anti-Gankers will write in their petitions. In fact, Charly has been playing the game for over two years--though not long enough to learn not to do this:

Yes, ol' Charly lost 2 billion isk in a virtually unfit rookie ship. People like Charly are why Aaaarrgg still ganks every rookie ship he sees.

...And people like Fanalage Stark are why our Agents gank every autopiloting shuttle they see. As Agent Viirilithizu Ward will tell you, such shuttles are a lot more rare today than they were a few years ago.

Don't worry, our Agents will keep hunting these guys until they're extinct.

Sinara Hekard was yet another casualty of Uedama. Agent Cautiously Pessimistic popped her 3.3 billion isk pod after removing it from a 33 million isk fail-Mammoth.

That's a lot of expensive gear for someone who lurches around highsec all day in a tech I hauler. Perhaps she received those implants as a gift? If so, our Agents gave her a better one: The Code.

Saturday, July 28, 2018

Rebels Hate Rebels, Too

Arthur Burton rarely felt the need to interact with other humans. He was a highsec miner. A bot-aspirant.

One day, Agent Imogen Avada started bumping him out of mining range. Arthur forced himself to remember how to speak.

Arthur was still able to speak, but his memory was foggier when it came to the Code. Imogen reminded him of his obligations.

The miner refused to purchase a permit. To justify his crime, he spun a tale about gankers secretly supporting botters.

Arthur presented his evidence of the conspiracy:

In fact, it was simply a Covetor killmail. Months earlier, Arthur had been ganked by Agents Dewey Coks and Best EVE Player.

According to Arthur, the two gankers had ties to a bot-mining operation in the system. Agent Imogen was skeptical. The pair had a history of killing miners. How bad could they be?

Imogen promised to investigate--but no evidence of wrongdoing was ever found. Arthur, on the other hand, had already been found guilty of mining without a permit.

Arthur's mining ship sat well outside of mining range. He sulked as he watched other miners helping themselves to the asteroids in "his" belt.

Agent Imogen was not unmindful of the other Code violators in the system. When she felt like it, she'd deal with them, too.

Arthur was still whining when suddenly he saw Imogen bump the other miners away from the belt. He was delighted by the sight.

The truth is that highsec miners often hate each other more than anyone else. Arthur was so tickled by watching other carebears being bumped out of range that he happily purchased a mining permit. But would his schadenfreude translate into Code-compliance?

Later that day, Arthur was using a Mobile Tractor Unit when it was abruptly destroyed by someone named Surri Ren.

One might assume that Surri Ren was an Agent of the New Order who was keeping Arthur honest by popping his MTU. In fact, Surri was an Anti-Ganker!

In one of the few recorded instances of an Anti-Ganker attacking a permit-owner, Surri used a Loki to target and kill the MTU. (Attacks on MTUs do not trigger CONCORD interference.)

Ironically, the Anti-Ganker had effectively done the New Order's work by destroying what amounts to a bot. Arthur, who admitted he didn't really support the Code, discarded his permit. Thus, Surri also inadvertently helped to prevent permit fraud. One way other another, the truth always wins out in highsec--thanks to the Code!

Friday, July 27, 2018

A Fiqment of Your Al-Matanation

If you've been ganked by a member of the mighty CODE. alliance and you want your loss reimbursed, it doesn't hurt to be respectful.

This is not how you do that.

Fiq Al-Mata's 1.2 billion isk Gila was caught and killed by Agent Ralliana. Fiq protested. Apparently ganking someone at a stargate is "bogus".

Ralliana reviewed the situation and determined that the gank she performed was legitimate. Things weren't looking good for Fiq.

Fiq escalated the conflict by accusing CODE. of systematic bullying. You know, I must say, the New Order has a lot of Agents--but there's not one bully among them. I'm very proud of that fact.

I'm not sure which was wrecked harder: Fiq's Gila or his argument.

Though Fiq denied being a miner, it was only a matter of time before he confessed to it. Our Agents are exceptionally skilled at getting to the truth.

The miner confessed.

Fiq conceded defeat and requested that his reimbursement ticket be closed. Another matter successfully resolved by our Agent.


Agent Haukka was contemplating the greatness of my leadership when she created this:

I've always felt that the name of the Catalyst was particularly fitting. There's no greater Catalyst than the Code.

If you're interested in viewing more New Order artwork, feel free to drop by our Links page.

Thursday, July 26, 2018

The Tears of zahara, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... zahara Acami lost a pod worth 1.8 billion isk when she autopiloted it through highsec. zahara was at fault for violating the Code in a particularly foolish manner, but she blamed Agent Katy Melons, who had merely pulled the trigger. zahara threatened to get revenge for the gank--by reporting Katy to CCP.

The carebear let our Agent in on a secret: There was an active campaign to get CCP to ban her.

Behind the scenes, the carebears of highsec have been sending a deluge of petitions to CCP, demanding that all the gankers be banned for shooting their spaceships.

For years, miners have been begging CCP to outlaw PvP in highsec. Their efforts to remove ganking have failed. zahara freely admitted that the mighty CODE. alliance doesn't break any rules. But she was convinced that the years-long downward trend in EVE subscribers would motivate CCP to change the EULA.

In other words, zahara confessed to intentionally filing frivolous petitions. Katy's heart broke for all of the GMs whose inboxes were swamped with such nonsense. When the GMs return from summer vacation, they'll be faced with so much unnecessary work. Bad miners!

Why would this carebear be so confident that she could get our Agents banned, when every other carebear has failed? Katy advised the miner to stop autopiloting and to buy a permit, rather than resting all of her hopes on a delusion.

zahara refused, because CCP hasn't made autopiloting against the rules. CCP hasn't made ganking against the rules either, but never mind that.

The carebear was ready to send her final EVEmail. She let Katy in on yet another secret: She had a history of getting gankers banned. Her threats weren't so empty after all!

Agent Katy quickly investigated the claim, which proved to be false. zahara was thrown off balance--a typical reaction when a carebear is confronted with the truth.

zahara had intended to end the conversation earlier, but she couldn't go out like this. She needed Katy to believe there was at least the possibility that zahara could get gankers banned by whining to CCP.

Spinning in circles, zahara claimed to have special access to CCP. She also claimed that the gank victim was really someone else, so nobody could verify whether the ganker was still playing EVE. Katy would need to trust her.

Agents of the New Order are educators--maybe the only true educators in EVE today. Katy wanted zahara to understand that autopiloting in a naked pod with 1.8 billion isk in implants was a bad idea. She also wanted zahara to accept the fact that making up stories about banning people for ganking (while simultaneously admitting that ganking is allowed under the rules) is foolish--and certainly no substitute for obeying the Code.

Unfortunately, some carebears choose to bury their heads in the sand. It's a bad way to live, but it's a good way to get yourself ganked.