Friday, July 20, 2018

Over One Trillion Six Hundred Billion in Shares Sold

With all of the bots and bot-aspirants out there, it's nice to see players aspiring to something greater, higher--more magnificent.


...Speaking of which.

Now let's get down to it.

Skeeter Mcgee purchased 1,900 shares of New Order stock, taking us past the the 1,599 billion isk mark and, more notably, the 1,600 billion isk mark--that is, the 1.6 trillion isk mark. Think about that for a moment. Breathe it in.

While you're doing that, a Double Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ gets sent Skeeter's way.


BONUS!

How badly can you fit your Retriever for less than fifty mill?


Bloody Thought of the inauspiciously named The Musky Tears corp lost his cargo-fit Retriever. I guess nobody told this guy that CCP gave the whiners an ore bay years ago.


He also lost a 765 million isk pod, which specialized in Poteque 'Prospector' implants--whatever that trash is.


Bloody Thought lived up to his character name and his corp name. He raged at Agent Ernst Steinitz. Ernst had merely manifested the Code's will by ganking him, like any normal person would.


We've seen plenty of threats like this before, of course, but this time was different.


Normally, this would be the point where the miner disappears forever, failing to make good on his threats. However, Bloody Thought planned to return in just a few minutes. And so he did.


...With a few additional tears sent via EVEmail. It's a good thing our Agent was looking over his shoulder.

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Tapestry of Tears, Part 1

The time has come, I think, to talk a little about Lahnius.


Lahnius was a permit-holder and an Agent-aspirant. But it was not always thus.


Originally, Lahnius was an Anti-Ganker. Through his encounters with Agent Alt 00, Lahnius managed to turn his life around. He renounced the anti-Code rebels and purchased several permits.


But whenever a former rebel attempts to join our ranks, an uncomfortable question hangs in the air: Does he want to join the winning team simply because the other players on the losing team can't tolerate him anymore?


Lahnius praised the Agent who had helped him see the light. As they were both residents of the Hek/Nakugard area, they came into contact often.


Alt 00 wanted the best for Lahnius... But she never forgot where he came from.


Over time, Lahnius kept up a mostly one-sided correspondence with Alt 00.


And, of course, there were the periodic apology EVEmails.


Lahnius couldn't hide the fact that there was a conflict raging within his soul. He made music videos to express this inner turmoil. There was always the possibility that the dark side of Lahnius' personality--the one that had drawn him to the Anti-Gankers in the first place--might reassert itself.


Eventually, Lahnius sought refuge among his newly minted alts. One of these, Vaughn Law, applied to join the mighty CODE. alliance. He hoped to feed his better nature by ganking Ventures.


Meanwhile, Lahnius informed Alt 00 that he was setting up refineries in Nakugard. As a sign of trust, he shared the location of these facilities. But with Lahnius, anything was possible.


...Just four hours later, the rebel-turned-Agent underwent another startling reversal.


Because, you see, it was always Lahnius' destiny to be a Goofus.

To be continued...

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Local Riffraff

Local chat is like a box of chocolates--you never know what you're gonna get.


...Though miner tears are very likely.


A lot of highsec dwellers don't engage with out-of-game resources or EVE websites. They get their information from random snippits of local chat. And that means "learning" about the game from people like Dracvlad.


A clueless newbie might be forgiven for assuming that the Dracvlads of the world are a valid information source. Or at worst, that they're harmless.


...But those who read MinerBumping know better. Dracvlad, for example, is a notorious Anti-Ganker. This is the bio he had back in 2016.


When you rely on people like Dracvlad to teach you about game mechanics, well, good luck. You'll need it.


Luckily, even random players tend to be skeptical of the Anti-Gankers. Something about those anti-Code people is just... not right. People can sense there's something off about them.


Nevertheless, EVE players can be led astray by the rebels. We, on the other hand, are all about truth.


Anti-Gankers are unable to stop the mighty CODE. alliance from ganking, so they resort to shedding tears in local.


Like Dracvlad, Grand Design is one of their "leaders".


You may remember him as the guy who entertains his fellow rebels with fantastic tales about fighting the New Order.


When faced with an Agent of the New Order in local, Grand Design can still be entertaining--though unintentionally so.


Local chat provides our Agents with something to do between combat operations, while waiting out the 15-minute aggression timer. But the anti-Code rebels of highsec are basically incapable of engaging in combat, so local chat is pretty much all they have. Despite all of their years of practice, they're still bad at it. And they wonder why people call them Goofuses!

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

The Bot's Greatest Enemy

EVE's playerbase has long been dissatisfied with CCP's anti-botting efforts. Specifically, players are concerned that CCP doesn't do anything. Some have even gone so far as to suggest that CCP welcomes the bots, since they boost subscription and logged-in player numbers, and because they inflate PLEX prices. CCP may tolerate bots, but we do not.


Kill the bot-aspirants, and you'll find the botters. It began with Agent Super Perforator's gank of a fail-fit Retriever piloted by Kocokacia Podiene.


Incredibly, Kocokacia had the gall to display a mining permit in his bio.


Things escalated when Kocokacia's mining partner, Mining Amatin, was ganked next to him. Mining Amatin was a repeat offender. And he had a permit, too.
Super Perforator > Kill: Kocokacia Podiene (Retriever) Kill: Mining Amatin (Retriever) two retrievers sitting on top of one another.
Ralliana > mmm..both with sweet permits
Super Perforator > sweet and invalid. :(
lady aspin > invalid ?
Super Perforator > yes
Super Perforator > check the fittings.
The chat above didn't come from local; it was from the MinerBumping channel. Yes, today we're going to take you inside New Order HQ.


After the Kocokacia incident, our heroes investigated the alleged permit-owning miners. They strongly suspected Kocokacia and his friends of operating a botting ring in the Otela system. By July 10th, they were ready to make a second strike.
Slutzilla > Kill: Kocokacia Podiene (Retriever) repeat offender with fake permit (got revoked a couple of days ago)
Slutzilla > just noticed I was flying a t1 cat.... got lucky.
Slutzilla > Kill: Vinger Nardieu (Retriever) and the bot fleet in otela keeps warping their pods out to the belts......
The next miner to be targeted, Vinger Nardieu, provided additional evidence of botting. As with so many other botting operations, the pods didn't quite know what to do once they were removed from their Retriever husks.
Haul Melkan > How many they got out there?
Slutzilla > they note the names of gankers....
Slutzilla > we'll send the list to you later! :)
Slutzilla > then you can get them after we are finished / blown! :)
D34dly D34dly > I'm already banned :( They dock up as soon as I enter the system
In addition, these particular bots ran a program where the user could add the names of known gankers and dock up immediately upon detecting them in local. Luckily, the New Order has an abundance of gankers at its command. Some, like Agent Slutzilla, had not yet been added to the list.
Slutzilla > i did one with a T1 cat.... only just.
Slutzilla > last shot
Jarmin Penken > I'm suprised you managed that
Slutzilla > it was an accident... i misnamed it when fitting.... it was supposed to be a t2 scram fit.
Axel Slotermeyer > Kill: Mining Amatin (Retriever) I didn't get the pod despite a t2. They are programmed to warp out immediately I think
Even when mistakes occur, the power of the Code gives our Agents an insuperable advantage.
Benzodiazepine > What's with the permit
Slutzilla > the permits were revoked
Slutzilla > they just display them still.
Slutzilla > watch the pods come in... they wait like 25secs and warp out again
Given the undeniable supremacy of the Code, I suppose we shouldn't be surprised to see botters buying permits--or at least making counterfeit ones. The Otela ring's permits only ensured their destruction, however.
Jarmin Penken > How longs it take the ret to come back?
Slutzilla > Jarmin Penken it seems like a while... different
Slutzilla > we havent really timed the pods yet.
Jarmin Penken > Some pod as turned up
Jarmin Penken > Mining Amatin
The Retrievers had fallen. Now our Agents were eager to snatch all the pods that were zipping back and forth across the system.


Success! Kocokacia's pod had gone haywire after it left the Retriever. For over an hour, it warped around Otela according to its programmed routines. Finally, it was laid to rest.


Two other bots had their pods ambushed in the same way, long after their mining ships were destroyed.
Slutzilla > Kill: Kocokacia Podiene (Capsule) bot pod down.... nice!
Axel Slotermeyer > Kill: Mining Amatin (Capsule) next bot pod with invalid permit
Slutzilla > Kill: Vinger Yuri (Capsule) Another bot pod..... looks familiar.
Slutzilla > looks like we cleand that bot fleet out of local....
Haul Melkan > They'll be back
Slutzilla > well yes, but they will probably dock up when we enter system.
Eventually, the bots were cleared out of Otela. They were expected to return, but something interesting happened.


Notice something missing? Kocokacia deleted his bio. He actually complied with our Agent's demand that he remove his revoked permit.


In fact, all of the bots identified in the Otela ring erased their mining permits. And, it seems, they chose to relocate.


It's a fine thing to gank a bot. Even finer: Driving the bots out of highsec entirely. This report is further proof that that although everyone complains about bots, only one organization in EVE is willing to take action against them. There's no doubt about it--we're the good guys.

Monday, July 16, 2018

The Code Compels You, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Anansi Veles sulked and complained after losing two Mackinaws in the same asteroid belt. But after the third Mackinaw loss, she revealed her true form: Mercuri Thoth, a mad freighter pilot with an obsessive fear of Agents "compelling their will" on other players.


Anansi no longer needed to pretend she was interested in anything else. From now on, she would focus all of her attention on one subject, which she found all-consuming.


Like other miners, Anansi was convinced that destroying her ship was an unspeakable offense. She hadn't merely been defeated in a spaceship combat game; she'd been attacked by real-life scoundrels.


Agent Lewak told Anansi precisely what she didn't want to hear: Everything came back to the Code. The miner fumed.


Anansi's trio of dead Mackinaws were just the beginning, she thought. There was no telling what sort of atrocities were being committed by the New Order's Agents while they weren't playing EVE.


On some level, Anansi understood the strength and invincibility that the Code granted our Agents. To hurt those who had destroyed her mining vessels, Anansi would need to find a way around that shield.


What Anansi didn't expect was that our Agents had a few questions of their own. They'd watched as the miner sat in the exact same asteroid belt for an hour while her ships were ganked, one after another. If anyone needed to defend their style of play, it was Anansi.


The miner, for all of her accusations, couldn't help but condemn herself with her own words.


Anansi was now fully on the defensive.


In the end, every carebear in highsec must accept that they have chosen to play in New Order territory. They must live according to the Code. EVE is our game.


Desperate, Anansi went full space lawyer. But she couldn't hope to come up with a legal argument for why the Code cannot be enforced in highsec.


Anansi's disgust grew as she slowly came to the realization that our Agents had bested her in verbal PvP as well as spaceship PvP. She would get no satisfaction out of this conversation.


The miner logged off in a huff, refusing all further communication. There was no denying it: The Code has been, and always will be, the most compelling document in EVE history.