Sunday, September 30, 2012

Lost in Translation

Earlier this month, I shared the tears of a Russian miner who did his best to threaten me in broken English. I also briefly shared the history of the general reputation Russian players have in EVE.

Though I suspect the miners above were being playful, there are those who are genuinely intimidated by Russian-speaking pilots. In today's post, I would like to take a look at what Russian players actually say when I bump them. Luckily, I happen to speak fluent Russian.

Actually that's not quite true--it would be more accurate to say I speak no Russian. Never fear! Behold the power of Google Translate!

Anyone who's used websites like Google Translate knows that they are far from perfect, even under the best of circumstances. Now add in the problem of local chat in EVE, where players frequently make typos. Google Translate does offer alternate translations for terms and will make suggestions in the case of words they suspect to be misspelled, however. So let's give it a shot! Russian-speaking readers are invited to offer their evaluation of Google's accuracy.

You might guess from all that exclamation points that Blek hiwa has strong feelings about what's happened to him. Google says,
Kiss my ass, fuck! Svali fuck!
Google was helpless to determine the meaning of "Svali".

This one's interesting, as Google has alerted us to what looks like a Red Pen violation!
I wrote a petition, making the USSR bury me, I'm going to kill with his bare hands if not stop bampat. All a successful farm.
The apparent reference to the USSR, along with "bury", makes me think of the "We will bury you" speech. I can't tell from the context, but I assume he intends to kill me with his bare hands in-game. I'm guessing "bampat" means "bumping". My interpretation of the "farm" remark is that either Blek or his friends are successful isk farmers.

Different day, different Russian complaining in local. Univeral Scum advised other Russian-speaking miners not to pay me.
Block scammer and pay not a penny... Sorry for the grammar. So it is necessary.

This line has two plausible translations:
Local stinks.
Google offers an alternate translation, "in LAN stinks". He could be complaining about local chat, or his internet connection. I'm guessing the former.

Sometimes the context helps. Universal's intriguing comment above becomes more mundane in light of later statements.
I'm sending you rays of diarrhea.
A ray-gun that fires diarrhea? Fascinating!

But now it looks more like he's suggesting the use of manure instead of isk to pay the mining fee:
Send him 10k tons of shit.

Here's the confirmation:
You can pay with manure? I just collected 10k tons.
You might ask why players like these don't simply use their own translators to try putting across their message in English. Universal, and his friend, Sam Vega, eventually tried to do just that.

Surprisingly soft, but the insubordinate tone is clear.

The "Gaylord of Bump"? What, no more "Mister Breivik"?

After I left, Sam commiserated with his fellow bumping "victims". Anyway, I hope today's post has helped to demystify our Russian-speaking friends and build a bridge of cultural understanding. When you get right down to it, we're really not so different. What matters is not the place of a man's birth, or the language he speaks, but whether or not he follows the Code. Thank you all.

Declassified: New Order Mole Infiltrates Resistance Movement in Kino, Part 1

In August, back when nobody had ever heard of the Elonaya system or Heavy Met4l Queen's rebellion, Kino was the heart of all turmoil in highsec.

The Kino rebels were the first to try organizing a resistance movement.

"Free Kino" became "Free Lonetrek", and they created a channel dedicated to fighting back against those whom they perceived as their tormentors.

It wasn't long before an Agent of the New Order penetrated their security and began feeding me intel intercepted straight from the source. Now, for the first time, this story can be told.
Kyraiela > Welcome Knightrider, and thanks for speaking out for our cause
KnightRider2000 > oh this is an ongoing thing between me and this little band
Kyraiela > and we appriciate it
Kyraiela > How much would you lose to shoot that little shit out of the sky?
The ringleader, Kyraiela, got right down to business. The first order of the day: Destroying the bumpers.
Kyraiela > I am willing to fund podkilling idiots like him, within reason of course.
General Zakev > i've had some fellow alliance members try killing him but concord mechanics are a bit buggy atm
You have to love highsec miners complaining about overpowered Concord. I'm pretty sure it was their failgank setups that were "buggy", however.
Sara Economics > hi
Kyraiela > Welcome back Sara. :)
Of course, Sara Economics, at the scene of every fire. Throughout the period this channel was active, Kyraiela repeatedly changed the MOTD, the message that automatically appears when the channel is opened:
EVE System > Channel MOTD changed to: "The idiot list so far:adam nobody, anagantonios raholan, bulangica SQL, Camilla Camaro, Captain jes, Catalytic morphisis, Elyse Sidewinder, Gisem, Kain Nobody, mallak Azaria, MhG29L, Oxygen Achasse, Supich, Tappad, Will Villante, Johnny wombat, dilbert jenkinsPut these people on Terrible standing (red), they are known gankers and bumpers.Report gankers not on the list, they will be added and blocked from this channel so we can talk freely.Against being bumped, orbit your ship at 500m around your roid and report the bumper to CCP to get his ass banned. We did it before, CCP will act upon it." by Kyraiela.
Conspicuously absent from the "idiot list" was James 315 himself, the Saviour of Highsec. Weeks after I made the blog post debunking it, many in Kino still believed the false rumor that I had been permabanned by CCP in response to petitions about my bumping. They thought some of the new bumpers were my alts, and that I was using the alts to evade the ban. So the "free miners of Kino" were encouraging each other to petition all of the new bumpers to get them banned, too. I don't envy the GMs who had to sort out this mess.
Kyraiela > Someone please check that list and tell me the names of the shareholders so I can block them from here
furcillin > if you visit their propaganda site, it has a farily complete list
I was always curious what the rebels thought about our shareholders...
furcillin > Theangryhobo, Shiule Hanaya, R0me0 charl1e, mallak azaria, no more heroes, weaselior, krakizbad, lera shadow, revnan gregwell, tash avrat, dervinus, betray, (and many many more)
furcillin > ^^shareholders
Kyraiela > damn
Kyraiela > those are actual characters
Those were the top contributors listed in the sidebar back in August. We were approaching near 100 total shareholders at the time.
Kyraiela > but I don't think they are actual shareholders or else this moron would be more agressive
General Zakev > they don't operate soley in Kino
General Zakev > from what i understand they have agents in most high sec ice systems
A couple bumpers were active in Kino at the time this conversation took place. General Zakev couldn't take it anymore. He was determined to act.
General Zakev > Im sick of this guy, im going to get a cruiser to fuck him up
Kyraiela > insure your cruiser, I will pay 10 mil for his corpse
General Zakev > ill let yoknow how it goes
Any proper ganker would have known that insurance payouts were removed for suicide gankers several months ago--at the request of people just like this!
Kyraiela > Welcome Michael. We are gathering to put a stop to these kind of idiots
furcillin > mebbe a coordinated destroyer swarm
General Zakev > hell im just going to go kill him on my own
General Zakev > i don't care about the isk loss
General Zakev > i just hope i don't get jammed
General Zakev was referring to the Concord squad already in the ice field. Apparently he didn't know Concord jammers are governed by the following formula: C = 100%, where "C" is the chance of being jammed.
General Zakev > General Zakev's Caracal
Kyraiela > can you take one down in that?
General Zakev > Scourge Fury Heavy Missile
General Zakev linked his caracal fitting, of which our spy did take a screenshot:

But will he succeed, or will the New Order score another victory? And how will the resistance react to the outcome? To be continued...

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Shareholder Vote on Red Pen Appeal

In two previous posts, I put a spotlight on a new member of the Red Pen list, Peter XZ. You can read the specifics in those two earlier blog entries, but here's a summary of his crimes:

- Petitioning New Order Agent Zak Fey
- Petitioning Saviour of Highsec James 315
- AFK mining
- Promoting AFK mining
- Deviant belief system regarding AFK mining
- Ignorance of the Code
- Failure to pay 30 million isk Red Pen fee
- Flippant attitude toward New Order authority

As you can see, these are serious charges. Peter does not dispute any of the charges, either. He confessed to the petitioning, AFK mining, and Code ignorance, and I witnessed his other crimes. But he begged for a second chance. He claims he was not aware of the rule against petitioning (though such ignorance is itself a violation of the Code).

However, I am taking the extraordinary step of allowing Peter's fate to be put to a shareholder vote. Will he remain on the Red Pen list? If you own shares in the New Order, it's up to you. Here is the text of Peter's EVEmail appeal:

As with other shareholder votes, you may continue to purchase shares at this time, but the vote will be based on the shares held as of this post.

You may cast your vote based on whatever criteria you wish.

The Vote

Shall Peter XZ be removed from the Red Pen list?

[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] Abstain

You may vote either by replying in the vote thread on EVE-O. You may also vote by sending me an EVEmail, as I am aware some of my shareholders have been banned from the forum.

Normally I send an EVEmail to all shareholders notifying them of a vote, but in this case, since it does not involve important shareholder business, I will refrain. Instead, I will compensate by having a longer voting period than normal.

Voting will end on Tuesday, October 2nd at 01:00 EVEtime (Monday, October 1st at 9:00pm Eastern).

The Red Pen Diaries, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping...

Highsec ice miner Peter XZ confessed that he petitioned one of our Agents, and he refused to apologize. He ended up on the Red Pen list.

Peter compounded his offense by admitting that he had filed a petition against me, as well. Talk about doubling down on a bad strategy.

Peter was well aware of the possibility that his petition could fail, and that he was opening himself up to bumps.

After removing Peter from the ice field, I spent some time helping other miners. Peter eventually inched his way back to the ice. I asked him to declare his intentions, and he started owning up to all of his deviant practices and beliefs.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing: A human who enjoyed being roboticized. As a champion of humanity, it broke my heart.

Having finally made his way next to a chunk of ice, Peter announced his plan to activate his mining lasers and go AFK for 40 minutes. After which, he believed, his ore bay would be filled with ice.

Before Peter could even leave the keyboard, I sent his mackinaw zooming away.

Peter had to put his IRL plans on hold. I patiently waited for him to get back into range; I spent the time instructing other miners. When Peter turned his mining lasers back on, I immediately sent him out of range again. This time his AFK session apparently couldn't wait, so he left.

Peter's mackinaw was programmed to approach the ice. But mining lasers must be manually reactivated once a mining cycle is broken, so the mackinaw just sat there while Peter was AFK. Instead of filling his ship with millions of isk worth of ice, he got nothing. I looked upon this pathetic sight and was filled with compassion.

Who can understand Red Pen miners like Peter? Somewhere along the line, things went horribly awry for them. I believe these miners can be rehabilitated. Who else is going to do it? I am the Saviour of Highsec. And so I go on, bumping miner after miner, striving to put right whatever went wrong in their lives.

This time, having lost out on his haul of ice, Peter wanted to revisit why he was on the Red Pen list.

Ignorance of the Code is certainly no excuse. Now that MinerBumping is widely known in highsec, every miner is on notice.

Peter is not entitled to anything but a 30 million isk fine. But I occasionally perform acts of special mercy to miners. This is such an occasion. I invited Peter to write an appeal to the shareholders of the New Order. He did. And when that letter is posted on this blog, it will be up to the shareholders what happens next.

Friday, September 28, 2012

The Anti-Fun Equation

Earlier this month, as a demonstration of my mettle, I created the Experimental Fun Times Corp corporation and vowed to defeat anyone who would dare oppose me. Enemies of the New Order were quick to declare war, and I devastated them by scoring victories in two lightning wars.

Since both of my victories were posted on this blog, I was somewhat surprised to see yet another declaration of war against me, by Anti-Fun Time Corp.

Two things were immediately clear. First, this new enemy was engineered specifically to attack me. Second, they had a nifty logo.

The founder, CEO, and sole member of Anti-Fun Time Corp is Nixlu. Now there's a sinister visage if I ever saw one.

After winning the first war by dissolving and instantly re-forming my corporation, Anti-Fun Time Corp struck again! I repeated the process. Since it costs 31.25 times as much isk to declare a war as it does to re-form a corp, I was confident in my kill-to-death ratio.

Anti-Fun Time Corp was stung by the 100 million isk of damage inflicted against them in these wars. So far they have not declared another war.

With four wars and four wins under my belt, I am building quite the resumé, even if I do say so myself.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #5

Welcome to another edition of the Grab Bag! It's time to chill out, relax, and enjoy drinking in another collection of miscellaneous miner tears.

Miners have pursued a wide variety of different strategies for defeating me. So far they've all come up short. I have to give Kosh Tolstar some credit for his originality: If miners stop paying me for awhile, maybe my subscription will run out!

Here's a good example of the Internet Tough Guy Syndrome and how rapidly it can be cured with bumping. Agent BillMurray transformed the miner within 60 seconds:

Next is a series of curious communications from Sam Vega:

First he sends me an EVEmail calling me "mr. breivik".

Later, when I bumped him out of the ice field, he did it again.

Even when I'm not around, he calls me "the breivik", and the others--while offering unhelpful advice--seem to know what he's talking about. Sam's reference is to Anders Behring Breivik, a Norwegian mass murderer who killed several dozen people and injured hundreds more. I guess that's better than being compared to Hitler?

Another creative way to counter my bumping strategy. So far the FBI has rejected any petitions filed against me, I presume.

Poor lewby lews doesn't get it. There's more than one way to violate the Code.

What some miners don't realize is, we hold them to a higher standard than CCP does. Miners should consider it a compliment that we have such high expectations for their behavior.

Like I told an Agent the other day, miners never forget being bumped.

As of this writing, "AFK ice miner" does not qualify for protected minority status.

Well, the Breivik comparisons were a freshing change of pace, but it's pretty much inevitable that some miner will compare the New Order to Nazis.

More fan mail from the locals. When the subject line simply reads "maniac", I know I'm about to get some well-thought-out, constructive criticism about my governance of highsec.