Monday, March 31, 2014

Don't Cry For E Highsec

Nearly eight years ago, CCP accidentally permabanned me for "trial abuse" (I didn't have a trial account). I petitioned the ban. After a week, I was allowed to return the game--perhaps the only EVE player to have survived the experience. I wasn't done with EVE just yet. When Erotica 1 sent me a screenshot of the "Banned" pop-up from her EVE client, some of those memories came rushing back.

In particular, the "number of visits" stat that you get when banned. I hadn't thought of that in years. There's such a finality to it. Yeah, and I noticed GM Grave's reason for banning Erotica 1 wasn't very persuasive.

The greatest thing that can be said of an EVE player is that he or she has a legacy that lives on after he or she is permabanned.

The reason-less ban of Erotica 1 sent a shockwave through the EVE community. But it also reminded us of the importance of serving the Code while we still can.

And for those leaving the game, I will happily see to it that your remaining assets are put to good use in highsec. (For the record, I don't know if Piter Bakunin's departure from EVE had anything to do with the recent controversy, or if it's just a coincidence.)

I would like to share an inspiring story from a gentleman named Kegan Bjornson. He is a former rebel.

Kegan didn't just rebel against the Code, he acted as a white knight, trying to interrupt ganks to save the AFK bot-aspirants. Until he couldn't take it anymore. He knew in his gut that the New Order was right and the carebears were wrong.

Kegan knew he had to make up for his crimes against the Code. To start with, he suicide ganked a fail-fit hauler with an Apocalypse. But that was only the start.

The former rebel apologized to those whom he harmed, and he sent in a bunch of money to show how serious he was. Kegan, on behalf of highsec, I forgive you.

With all of that having been said, it's time to distribute some Supreme Protector's Tips of the Hat™. A lot of people have been buying more stock lately. Sasha Nyemtsov's purchase of 500 additional shares sent us past the 279 billion mark, earning Sasha a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. Piter Bakunin's purchase of 3,000 additional shares sent us past the 280, 281, and 282 billion marks, earning a Triple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ and a fond farewell.

As for Kegan Bjornson, his purchase of 1,000 shares sent us past the 283 billion mark and earned him a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. And the other 500 shares purchased earns Erotica 1 a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ by proxy for sending us over the 284 billion mark.

It's notable that even permabanned players are not biomassed by CCP. They remain in the game, even if they can't be logged into. Agent Zazz Razzamatazz took the photo seen above. As a character with one of the highest bounties in the game, you can still catch a glimpse of Jita's favorite isk-doubler on the "WANTED" screens near stargates in highsec.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Kills of the Week

One of the most reassuring things about life in modern highsec: No matter what else is going on around us, we still have the Code, and carebears are still required to follow it. Let this truth be your anchor. With that in mind, let's look at some of the kills that took place during the week of March 23rd @ 00:00 EVEtime through March 29th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

Snakebite Jack was bitten by the bot-aspirancy bug. He assumed that he could solve any problem by throwing a bunch of money at it. You can fit as many Caldari shield mods to your Hulk as you like, but you'll still have a Code-shaped hole in your tank. Agents Braegnok, Jaxi Wreckful, Nitetime Video, and Temer Estemaire brought the criminal and his 1.4 billion isk exhumer to justice.

At first glance, Calazar Padecain's Mackinaw doesn't seem very remarkable. That's until you realize it's not a Mackinaw at all--it's a 237 million isk Retriever. Agent Thirtyone Organism saw the unusually expensive barge and managed to catch up with it, despite its speed tank.

Protip: When the EVE client asks you whether you'll accept a convo request from an Agent of the New Order, you say "yes". Calazar, the days of a silent, bot-aspirant highsec are over. Even a burrito knows that.

Many Code-violating Orcas died this week. lex Patrouette of corporation lost the most expensive one, at 1.8 billion isk. Is it just me, or does this guy's corp name sound bot-aspirant? Time to buy a better bot: The Orca was fully anti-tanked in the lows/rigs, with expensive shield mods serving as the frosting on the cake. Agents Jared Lennox, iZaEaRl, loyalanon, Jebediah Phoenix, Walter Kramer, Throatslashar, Vic Jefferson, Sophia Soprano, Schlampa, Mildron Klinker, and Zane Arnolles rolled up their sleeves and went to work. By the end of it, highsec was modestly improved.

GI Jen of Renegade Miners Ltd. didn't win any friends with her corp name. Agents Pooboi, Sank You, and Hiromi Kusanagi spotted the rebel's Tengu and launched a three-man strike. It wasn't enough DPS, though; the Tengu remained intact, with a deep red gash in its armor. Why do we have a killmail? Because 15 minutes later, the aggression timer expired, and our Agents tried again. The Tengu, fully AFK, hadn't even moved the whole time. Our Agents returned and launched a second strike, proving the power of persistence.

Joseph Dierte's 7 billion isk Charon was the most expensive of the freighters felled this week by Agent Lord Mandelor of Tengoo Uninstallation Service, which recently joined the Pasta Syndicate alliance. Mandelor and twenty-five other gankers were involved--including some nice multi-boxing work by Wrong Target Sorry#. If you own a freighter and intend to travel through highsec, now would be a really, really good time to buy a permit.

Lady Vamp gave in to the vampire craze when selecting the name of her EVE character. The New Order understands this. We're hip to the latest trends of today's youth. We just want young people to realize that mining permits are pretty cool, too. Agent Sarthana popped Vamp's 1.1 billion isk pod as a reminder. The best things in highsec are timeless.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Mob-Related Ganking

It was another huge win for the New Order: Agents Throatslashar and iZaEaRl killed an illegal Mackinaw who was stealing ice from highsec.

The criminal in question was Gwowyn Cesaille. He wasn't fooling anyone with his almost-tanked ship. If you're going to sacrifice tank in favor of yield and bot-aspirancy, you might as well own it and go all the way. On second thought, don't do that.

Gwowyn was alarmed when he discovered that other spaceships were shooting at his spaceship. That wasn't what he signed up for. Highsec is supposed to be about spaceships shooting at rocks and chunks of ice, he thought. But even if that were true, you could argue that our Agents were shooting at the chunks of ice contained in his Mackinaw's ore bay.

Disgusted by the whole "PvP" thing, Gwowyn became enraged and started spouting threats at the Agents in local. Our heroes directed the matter to Agent Durandi Ghostal. Durandi instantly became a mentor to Gwowyn. Within seconds, he dashed off a few sentences that taught Gwowyn more about EVE than the tutorial ever did.

A denialist! Gwowyn refused to accept the existence of the Code. If that's true, then what has everyone in highsec been reading lately? The carebear also claimed that Durandi was playing the game wrong. That's absurd. EVE is a sandbox. Besides, Gwowyn was the one playing the game wrong.

Durandi is an old hand at compliance management. The whole "there is no Code" routine didn't fool him for a minute. He even had the URL for the Code, thank goodness. Can you imagine how difficult it must have been to win arguments before the internet was created?

The rebel miner was forced to concede the existence of the Code, but then he questioned whether it was a "justifiable" Code. Dr. Cesaille then diagnosed Durandi as a sociopath. Durandi hadn't even fired on his Mackinaw; he'd simply advised him to follow the Code. That's what passes for sociopathy these days? I'm sure the bar used to be much higher.

Durandi tried to reason with the wayward miner. Clearly he was an anarchist.

But Gwowyn spontaneously jumped from anarchism to legalism. He accused Durandi--either based on his EVEmails or his association with gankers--of violating American law. He didn't specify which law had been broken, though. Perhaps shooting his spaceship was harassment? If so, the nullsec alliances should look into "legal tanking" to protect their fleets. Interestingly, Gwowyn claimed that if miners had drawn up the Code, then it would have legal grounds.

Durandi became fascinated by the carebear. If given the opportunity, would he take his space-lawyering to the next level?

If only Babatunde B Babatunde were still around, Gwowyn would've made him proud. For the first time, a miner claimed that he himself could be sent to prison in real life for buying a mining permit! Gwowyn took it even further than that: Anyone who destroys an internet spaceship outside the context of a wardec can be sent to prison. For multiple years. Now we know why America has such a large prison population.

Durandi continued dispensing facts, but let's face it: The feds were already on his heels.

Gwowyn Cesaille, the very picture of mental health, decided there was no point in talking to a crazy person, especially one whose mining permits could land her in the Big House. I've got a piece of advice for those of you who do end up going to prison, though: Try to get in with the people who were sent to prison for selling mining permits, not the ones who got jailed for buying them. You can never count on a carebear to have your back.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Erotica 1 Banned from EVE, Acquires Large Quantity of New Order Shares

Some interesting things have happened lately, and I'll do my best to very briefly touch on a few of them. I am, of course, referring to the (most recent) controversy surrounding Erotica 1, Jita's most well-known isk-doubler.

Some weeks ago, I reported on a Bonus Round conducted... Hold on, wrong screenshot.

Bear with me, folks. I'm doing this on the fly, and some glitches are to be expected. Some weeks ago, I reported on a Bonus Round conducted by Erotica 1 and her escrow agents. The participant was a fellow named sohkar. Unfortunately, sohkar didn't win the Bonus Round, and he didn't take it particularly well. We all have our bad days.

Erotica 1's Bonus Rounds, conducted in TeamSpeak and the in-game "Erotica 1's Glory Hole" channel, have long been familiar to the EVE community, including CCP. sohkar's Bonus Round was publicized on EVE-O back in February, to mixed reaction. What wasn't widely known at the time is that at some point, CSM member Ripard Teg began to use his privileged access to CCP to lobby them to permaban Erotica 1. Judging by the fact that Erotica 1 wasn't banned, we can safely assume CCP had decided that no rules were broken.

Ripard then took his case to the public in a blog post. Right away it became clear that Ripard meant business:
"I'm not usually the type to call out individual EVE players on this blog. This time I'm going to. Erotica 1 is an EVE player. He is also a despicable, vile, evil human being....

I assure you, Dear Reader, that there is evil in this world."
The crux of Ripard's argument is that because the Bonus Round took place over the course of hours, rather than the shorter, morally-pure "singing ransoms" that frequently go on in EVE, Erotica 1 was guilty of committing torture. Literally.
"This alternating of torturers allows one to deliver a masterstroke. The victim finally asks in exasperation how many songs the victim he have to sing. The torturer casually says 'We usually do ten or twenty songs.'

Needless to say, at this point the victim snaps and goes into a profanity-laden rant to the very great amusement of the torturers. I do not use the word torture lightly. Look at any list of psychological torture methods you like. You will invariably find on that list..."
Ripard then listed some comparisons between the Bonus Round and more conventional forms of torture. As an example, sleep deprivation was involved because the Bonus Round stretched well over an hour and sohkar had to stay up past his bedtime to continue participating. Ripard concluded his post with another call for Erotica 1 to be permabanned, along with punishments for the escrow agents.

For the first time, a Jita isk-doubler had ignored the United Nations' Declaration on Human Rights. Since Erotica 1 is a member of CODEdot and there were many wardecs active, Erotica 1 was arguably guilty of violating the Geneva Convention. As you might expect, Ripard's readers were shocked and horrified to learn of the war criminal in their midst. Faded "Kony 2012" posters were stripped from the walls and replaced with pictures of the new enemy.

EveNews24 and the EVE subreddit and carried the story. In a break with precedent, EVE-O mods actually allowed something interesting to be discussed in the General Discussions subforum rather than locking it or banishing it to another subforum.

The thread exploded with replies, mostly from the same people arguing about whether the Bonus Round was torture, and what authorities might get involved if CCP failed to ban Erotica 1.

There were varying reactions, of course. Erotica 1 forwarded me some of the EVEmail she received. Some supported her:

Others less so:

Tenla Amarr drew up a poster for those who felt Erotica 1 had not run afoul of international law:

Conspicuously absent from the hubbub was the voice of sohkar himself. How did he feel about all of this? In his blog post, Ripard Teg said the following:
"I encourage everyone reading this to listen to this bonus round in part or in full. I have listened to it in full. I owed it to the victim to understand his story. He lived through it."
But no one asked the man himself. So sohkar contacted Erotica 1 in-game, and joined her on TeamSpeak to discuss the matter. Afterward, sohkar reported to the EVE-O thread:
"i just got off the TS with erotica 1 and i did this to try to put a end to all this stuff people are putting out there and get how i felt about everything. I think all you people need to drop it. the "bonus room" happened over a month ago. Ask yourself why is it now just coming out now? if it wasnt for the article written about it no one would know or care. I know some of you said its not about erotica 1 or myself and you maybe right but what is it about then that people got scam it happens all the time even in RL. I got scammed and made an fool of myself in the process he did not ask me to do anything that would personalize me to people i dont know other then by my voice. Scamming and bonus rooms are not the problem until it makes someone hurt then selfs or others til then you may not agree with mine bumping or scamming then dont do it. Just because you dont agree with it doesnt make it a crime"
During the TeamSpeak conference, sohkar explained that as a result of Ripard Teg's blog post and all of the attention it received, he was kicked out of his corporation. As for Erotica 1, she vowed to conduct one final Bonus Round...

Sure enough, when I checked my wallet, I saw that I had received payment in full for 39,000 shares of New Order stock.

Erotica 1 was already the largest New Order shareholder, with 22 billion worth of stock in her name. You can never keep a good doubler down. She more than doubled her holdings with an additional purchase of 39 billion worth of stock, sending us over the 278 billion mark. That's over a quarter-trillion isk! Erotica 1 earns a Triple-Tredecuple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ for sending us past the 240, 241, 242, 243, 244, 245, 246, 247, 248, 249, 250, 251, 252, 253, 254, 255, 256, 257, 258, 259, 260, 261, 262, 263, 264, 265, 266, 267, 268, 269, 270, 271, 272, 273, 274, 275, 276, 277, and 278 billion marks.

That's a lot of gank Catalysts to reimburse! But we'll do it. We're the New Order. We always do what needs to be done.

Nevertheless, nothing moves CCP like controversy. I can think of few times when a protest from the playerbase didn't result in them acting. Writing in the private subforum of the MinerBumping Forum, Erotica 1 informed us that she has been banned from EVE. The ban, as far as I can tell from what Erotica 1 wrote, is permanent.

Some might call upon me to disown Erotica 1, to distance myself from her. If all I knew of Erotica 1 were the charges of torture and war crimes, or if Erotica 1's Glory Hole conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way. But the truth is, that isn't all that I know of the woman. The isk-doubler I met more than a year ago helped introduce me to the Jita scammer community. She spoke eloquently about the scammers' obligations to the Code, to care for the faithful and to withhold isk from the unfaithful.

In an earlier post, Hydra-Headed Lies, Part 1, I described my first experience in the Glory Hole:
"Aside from when I was a scammer, I have always made my isk the old-fashioned way, through good, honest, hard work. Everything I own in EVE has been earned by the sweat of my brow. EVE is a diverse place, and the New Order reflects that diversity. Not everyone comes from my simple, down-home background. Agent Erotica 1 occasionally invites me to take a trip into her glamorous, fast-paced world of isk doubling... Although the rapid-fire contracts weren't the kind of work I was used to, I was determined to prove that I was capable of handling whatever job the sophisticated, urbane Jita set could... Hydra complied with the terms of the deal by giving me everything he owned, even the shirt off his back. So far, so good. Hydra appeared to have total confidence in Erotica. Maybe these Jita folk weren't so bad after all. But my brief trip into the world of high finance was about to take a dark and unexpected turn."
That has been my experience with Erotica 1 and her escrow agents. Like other predominantly scammer channels across highsec, the Glory Hole embodies the highsec community in its entirety: The air-traffic controllers and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger. Like other TeamSpeak channels run by those who engage in emergent gameplay, Erotica 1's was full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor. It was full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear. It contained in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love, and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the highsec experience.

And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Erotica 1. As imperfect as she may be, she has been like family to me. She gave me isk, helped increase the numbers of CODEdot, and made people read the Code aloud in funny accents. Not once in my conversations with her have I heard her talk about any group of EVE players in derogatory terms, or treat carebears with whom she interacted with anything but courtesy and respect. She contains within her the contradictions--the good and the bad--of the community that she has served diligently for so long.

I can no more disown Erotica 1 than I can disown the scammer community. I can no more disown her than I can my carebear grandmother--a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world--but a woman who once confessed that she purchased a Michi's Excavation Augmentor, and who on more than one occasion uttered Miner Bingo quotes that made me cringe.

These people are a part of me. And they are a part of highsec, this place that I love.

We have a choice in this community. We can accept a politics that breeds divison, and conflict, and cynicism. We can tackle the issue of Bonus Rounds and Erotica 1's ban as a spectacle. We can call each other torturers, or accuse each other of war-crimes, and we can hope some news agency picks up the story and talks about cyber-bullying.

We can do that.

But if we do, I can tell you that in the next news cycle, we'll be talking about some other distraction. And then another one. And then another one. And nothing will change. Or, at this moment, we can come together and say, "Not this time. This is where we start. It is where our union grows stronger." And as so many generations of new players have come to realize over the course of the year and a half since the Code was written in Halaima, that is where the perfection begins.

Thank you.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Heart of Blackness, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Arden Elenduil joined a highsec mining corp called BLACKHEARTSGAMING. He witnessed them violating the Code and was forced to destroy their AFK mining op with his Claymore. After inflicting a couple billion isk in damages, he was counter-attacked by the BLACKHEARTSGAMING PvP fleet. He wiped them out.
Chainsstyle Arnerette > ya he doesnt ever get a world cup team to watch
InsanePostman > ha
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Whens the last time belgium qualified?
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Lol
Arden Elenduil > actually, our team is one of the poule leaders
Arden Elenduil > this time
Chainsstyle Arnerette > lol
Chainsstyle Arnerette > 1/100 years
An awkward situation developed. Arden was still a member of the corp. Rather than accepting him as their new leader, they criticized Arden for being Belgian.
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Irrelevant cuntry
InsanePostman > ugly people thats for sure
Chainsstyle Arnerette > I mean belgium is such an irrelevant country that 95% of Americans dont realize it exists yet this guy leanrs our language fluently lol
Arden Elenduil > not your language actually
Arden Elenduil > it originated in the UK
Arden was perplexed by the sudden emergence of BLACKHEARTSGAMING bigotry. Had it been there all along? Is this what highsec carebears do when they can no longer spend their time AFK mining?
FistRockbone > last I checked, we spell our words differently, talk differently, and most importantly dont speak the same language as the cheese eating surrender monkeys
Arden Elenduil > those monkeys you speak of would be the french, not the british ^^
FistRockbone > duh. and belgians speak french. figure it out smarty
Arden Elenduil > we speak dutch actually
Arden Elenduil > at least in flanders
Hadion Gorath > still a horrible country
The New Order is like Eve University, only educational. Arden had taught the bot-aspirants so much about EVE, and now he was sharing his knowledge of Europe. But Arden's priority remained on target: He wanted to deliver his corpmates from bot-aspirancy.
Arden Elenduil > as i was saying
Arden Elenduil > before the velator interrupted me
Arden Elenduil > if you provide me with some isk or a medal
Arden Elenduil > i shall leave the corp
Chainsstyle Arnerette > How about this
Chainsstyle Arnerette > I will pay pal you some money to buy a dildo
Arden tried to jolt the carebears out of their subroutines with an appeal to emergent gameplay. Like the 10 million isk mining fee, a medal is a small thing. But because it is emergent rather than programmed into the game, bot-aspirants have difficulty with it. It requires humanity to understand.
Arden Elenduil > oh, and if you were wondering
Arden Elenduil > the reason for all this is because you didn't adhere to the new halaima code of conduct
Arden Elenduil > too bad
Arden Elenduil > but as an agent of the new order, i was forced to intervene
InsanePostman > well i'd give yah a cookie but i dont have any.
Arden Elenduil > a medal will do just fine
Arden Elenduil > all i'm asking for is 250 mil
Arden Elenduil > or a 20 mil medal
WhiteHeart > Cowards that can only gank and run from any real battle don't deserve even deserve shit.
Speaking of subroutines! WhiteHeart leaned upon the old rebel line that the New Order is unable to fight ships that can fight back. Yet, at the time WhiteHeart said this, Arden had already solo'ed the corp's Rokh, Rattlesnake, and Gnosis, all of which were brought into battle with the intention of fighting back. WhiteHeart himself was the Gnosis pilot. It didn't matter that Arden had destroyed their combat ships; the rebels simply couldn't process a reality that didn't fit their programming.
Chainsstyle Arnerette > we want you to stay in the corp buddy
Chainsstyle Arnerette > We can forgive you
Chainsstyle Arnerette > you wanna go on an op with us again later? all you gotta do is promise not to do that again
Arden Elenduil > your concern is touching, but that 250 mil is all i'm interested in now
Chainsstyle Arnerette > well why would I pay you to leave
Chainsstyle Arnerette > If I want you to stay?
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Thats like asking your girlfriend to fuck another guy
Chainsstyle Arnerette > which you weird european fucks probably partake in
Arden Elenduil > alright then, meet me at the asteroid belt
Chainsstyle, the self-described "hymen slayer", was still sore about the loss of his Mackinaw and Capsule. Arden was willing to participate in a duel, but Chainsstyle swiftly changed his mind about a confrontation.
Chainsstyle Arnerette > this is
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Not in your jurisdiction
Chainsstyle Arnerette > We are reportiung to your superiors
Arden Elenduil > actually, it is
Chainsstyle Arnerette > not on your maps on your site
Arden Elenduil > you are code violators, and thus must be punished
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Code only pertains to your systems
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Reporting you to your leaders
No longer confident of his combat ability, the former Mackinaw pilot switched gears. He would argue the Code.
Arden Elenduil > indeed, it does
Arden Elenduil > but our systems are highsec
Arden Elenduil > all of highsec
Chainsstyle Arnerette > I saw the map
Chainsstyle Arnerette > You clearly violated your own code
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Which makes you a fraud
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Taken right from the code
Arden Elenduil > and which systems would be ours then?
InsanePostman >
Chainsstyle Arnerette > There is YOUR map
BLACKHEARTSGAMING took a sudden interest in the law of the New Order. Space-lawyering aside, this is a good sign. It means a carebear no longer denies the existence or importance of the Code. He has bought into the system; he recognizes that he must adapt to the New Order's authority.
Arden Elenduil > ah, but those are simply operational maps
Arden Elenduil > the territory of the new order is in fact, all of highsec
Chainsstyle Arnerette > ok well we will see what your leadership has to say about that
Arden Elenduil > feel free to contact them
Chainsstyle Arnerette > already did
Arden Elenduil > i'm afraid your petition will be in vain
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Its not a petition
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Its reporting agents violating their own rules
Arden Elenduil >

Arden took pity on the miners as they continued to lie to his face. I can't speak to anyone else associated with the New Order, but I haven't been contacted by BLACKHEARTSGAMING. Could it be that carebears lie about petitioning New Order authorities, just as they sometimes lie about petitioning CCP?
FistRockbone > All those who mine within "the territory of the New Order" are deemed to have agreed to obey the New Halaima Code of Conduct. "the territory of the new order" is a link to the maps page which outlines what territory the new order covers.
FistRockbone > do show me where we are on it
FistRockbone > it specifically says we have to be in these territories to have agreed to the terms
Arden Elenduil > those are also very old maps
FistRockbone > point? without updating your code, you are in violation of it
Arden Elenduil > trust me when i say that the territory of the new order is much larger than you think
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Lol "trust me"
Chainsstyle Arnerette > #1 sign someone is lying
Chainsstyle Arnerette > We are sending in your screen shots of you lying to us as well lol
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Anyway emailing that all off... you have fun floating in a belt.
BLACKHEARTSGAMING miners continued to argue about the extent of New Order territories. I'm not sure where they got the idea that the New Order is still limited to Halaima and its neighbors. Those familiar with our earliest history know that after a set of secure containers was attacked (but not destroyed) in Kamio, I exercised emergency powers to expand our territory to more defensible borders. Specifically, the New Order annexed the entirety of highsec. And we never looked back.
Arden Elenduil > i'll still be in the corp however, until you pay the required amount of isk/give me a medal
D34DCARN4G3 > nope
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Great that means you cant join another lol
Arden Elenduil > oh no worries, i have several characters
Chainsstyle Arnerette > I am sure you do
Chainsstyle Arnerette > I am sure you look inbred like most other europeans as well
Arden Elenduil > now now
D34DCARN4G3 > Hey drop corp\
Arden Elenduil > i will not
D34DCARN4G3 > woops sorry
D34DCARN4G3 > no you can stay
D34DCARN4G3 > everyone elsa Drop corp

BLACKHEARTSGAMING's fearless leader, pictured above, advised everyone in the corporation to drop corp. It was the only way to escape Arden's wrath without having to pay for a medal. However, cooler heads prevailed, and Arden was contacted by a BLACKHEARTSGAMING negotiator.
Kenja Utso > So what do you want?
Arden Elenduil > 250 mil or a medal
Kenja Utso > you took out 2 bill worth on us. Why should we
Arden Elenduil > 3.55b actually, and because otherwise i might cause even more damage
Kenja Utso > Done and done
Arden Elenduil > docking now
Kenja Utso > Thank you for standing by your word
Arden Elenduil > feel free to kick
Kenja Utso > Thank you
Arden Elenduil > "tips hat"
The negotiation went well, with BLACKHEARTSGAMING giving into Arden's demands, and Arden letting them. How else would a negotiation with a New Order Agent go? The New Order always wins.

Honour, dignity, respect, courage... These are the things that thinking people associate with the New Order. We wear the badges with pride. You'll never meet a finer group of people in highsec.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Heart of Blackness, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Arden Elenduil joined BLACKHEARTSGAMING, a highsec mining corp. He was invited to attend a mining op and was stunned to discover that they were a gang of Code violators. Unaware of Arden's status as an Agent of the New Order, they even encouraged him to violate the Code. Arden knew there was only one way to settle the score: To attack the mining op in his Claymore and hold their Orca for ransom.
Arden Elenduil > don't worry
Arden Elenduil > i'm just putting you in low hull
Arden Elenduil > there we go
Arden Elenduil > pay up
Arden Elenduil > or die
Arden Elenduil > your call
InsanePostman > he'll pay
InsanePostman > dont kill the orca please
As Arden suspected, most of the mining fleet was AFK, oblivious to the events now unfolding. One of the miners urged Arden to wait until the Orca pilot returned to his keyboard. Since Arden only had one warp disruptor, he had no choice but to kill the remaining miners.

One by one, the bot-aspirants perished. One of them was flying an untanked Hulk worth over a billion isk. For some reason it had two ORE Strip Miners in its cargo bay.

As the miners awakened, they begged Arden to wait just a little longer for the Orca pilot to pay up. The perfidious carebears were actually using the time to organize a daring counter-offensive.

Arden sighed as he delivered the final blow on the Orca. He was disgusted by the dishonourable conduct he saw all around him. His dream of attending a Code-compliant mining op had been shattered. Now he was forced to slaughter his fellow corpmates.

The rebels paid a heavy price for their treachery. But about that whole "counter-offensive" thing...
Arden Elenduil > that rokh better not be of yours
Arden Elenduil > oops
Arden Elenduil > so
Arden Elenduil > ransom the rokh?
These particular carebears were apparently unaware of some of the finer points about dealing with Agents of the New Order. For instance, Agents have a strong tendency to win. Like, all the time.

The rebel Rokh went boom, adding to the BLACKHEARTSGAMING death toll. Arden urged them to put an end to the madness. He only wanted to be paid the money he was due--he didn't want the miners to lose everything they had. But now the corp chat had gone into radio silence.

You might be curious about ship flown by Jin Gorath, who also appeared on the killmail.

Just as the Rokh was dying, the rebels sent in another wave of attackers. Actually, I should they they sent in another wave of "attacker". For some reason, their counter-offensive involved sending ships against our hero one at a time, like in an old ninja movie. But it wasn't honour that motivated this method of attack; it was cowardice and fear. No one wanted to risk facing the fearsome Agent in battle while there was still a chance someone else might do it.

The Rattlesnake pilot failed to jam Arden's ship. This is partly because the Rattlesnake wasn't fitting any jammers; it was just a tank fit. An additional half billion isk of BLACKHEARTSGAMING contraband went down the drain. Perhaps the rebel knew he was fated to lose, and he whored on the Rokh killmail to help even out his personal killboard stats?

After the Rokh and Rattlesnake died, they sent in a Gnosis, who also went to his doom. After that, the rebels were down to their rookie ships. It was another extraordinary victory for the New Order and the principles of its Code. Both BLACKHEARTSGAMING's mining fleet and their PvP fleet had been defeated on the battlefield. It was time for them to become Gallants and congratulate Arden. Considering his prowess in combat, they might even be expected to offer Arden leadership of the clan.
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Belgium is still a useless country :P
InsanePostman > lol
Chainsstyle Arnerette > bunch of useless waterloo faggots
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Merely a path for real countries
Arden Elenduil > now that's not very nice is it
Chainsstyle Arnerette > must suck having to be USA little bitch with the hague?
Arden Elenduil > the hague is in the netherlands, just sayin'
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Ya another useless county
Alas, it was not to be. Arden had found himself in a corp of Goofuses. They hated him for his Code. And Chainsstyle, the self-proclaimed "hymen slayer/highsec miner", didn't really like the fact that he was Belgian, either. I believe this would be the part where the carebear apologists tell us that Arden was to blame for the corp's prejudices, because he drove them to it by shooting their spaceships. On second thought, let's save that for part three.

To be continued...

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Heart of Blackness, Part 1

Everyone who knows me knows that I am a big fan of something called "accountability". I believe people ought to be held accountable for their actions, and that they ought to be expected to behave in a civilized manner. Hence, the Code. If I could sum it up in a few words, it would be something like, "Be excellent to each other." If you're a miner and unsure of whether you should do something, you might consider the question, "Would I be doing this if James 315 were right here, attending this mining op?"

I can't be everywhere at once, watching everyone in highsec simultaneously. But luckily for highsec, as the number of New Order Agents grows, the Code can be enforced everywhere at once. Every miner in highsec can be monitored and held accountable for his or her actions. Arden Elenduil is one of those Agents.

Arden decided to take a break from elite PvP and join a highsec mining corp. He happened upon a corp called BLACKHEARTSGAMING. The CEO, the charming fellow pictured above, accepted Arden's membership application immediately. There was no background check, API submission, or any kind of communication passed between Arden and the corp beforehand. BLACKHEARTSGAMING trusted Arden, and Arden reciprocated. Arden trusted BLACKHEARTSGAMING to behave like any decent highsec miners would. Arden put aside the cynicism of EVE and hoped that he would not be betrayed by the miners.
BloodyZero > who all is joining this mining op?
Arden Elenduil > mining op?
Arden Elenduil > oooohhh
Arden Elenduil > hadn't looked at the calendar yet
BloodyZero > you coming?
Arden Elenduil > maybe, i'll have to check
Arden Elenduil > i've set myself as tentative
Soon after Arden was accepted into the corp, he had the opportunity to experience what he assumed would be a nice, relaxing, Code-compliant mining op.
BloodyZero > Arden Elenduil what mining skills and assets do you have?
Arden Elenduil > most i can fly is a retriever
Arden Elenduil > i'm more of a combat pilot
BloodyZero > can you fly a freighter?
Arden Elenduil > i've got a buddy that can
Arden Elenduil > but he ain't online now
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Miasmos How long tillu could be flying that?
Arden Elenduil > that i can fly already
BloodyZero > would you be willing to haul?
Arden was an elite PvP'er, so he offered his services as an escort for the mining op. But for some reason, his fellow corpmates weren't interested. They wanted him to haul instead. Could it be that they assumed a highsec mining operation was automatically safe, simply by virtue of its being in highsec? Arden started to get very nervous.
Arden Elenduil > i take it 4 expanded cargo holds in the lows will suffice?
Arden Elenduil > and a tractor in the highs
Chainsstyle Arnerette > ya
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Thats fine
Arden Elenduil > wait, do expanded cargoholds even affect the mineral bay?
Chainsstyle Arnerette > no
Chainsstyle Arnerette > They give u a bit more for top
Chainsstyle Arnerette > basically u just need a tractor beem
Arden put his new corpmates to the test, asking them about fittings for the hauler he was supposed to fly. If they were good miners, they would tell him to fit a tank and get a permit. If they were bot-aspirants, they would tell him that his fittings didn't matter. Arden's worst fears were confirmed.

The leader of the corp mining op was Chainsstyle Arnerette. His corp title was "hymen slayer" and "miner". In highsec, whenever someone describes himself as something "and a miner", he's just a miner. In any case, the important thing was that Chainsstyle and his buddies were Code violators. Arden couldn't believe he had been betrayed by another highsec mining corp he'd joined.
Chainsstyle Arnerette > ya I am just afk mining whilke I calean
Arden's head swam. He was disgusted by what he saw. But he wouldn't be a victim. He was an Agent of the New Order, the most powerful and courageous group of pilots in all highsec. And he resolved to hold these people accountable for their crimes.

Arden arrived at the mining op. They had an Orca, so they didn't need him to haul. Instead, they gave him access to the Orca's ship maintenance bay so he could grab a mining barge. Arden couldn't fly the Hulk, so he ejected it and let a friend pick it up. The friend also promised to give Arden the assistance of remote reps if any Code-violators attempted to stop him from doing what he was about to do.

Arden switched into a Claymore and began locking up the miners. He didn't have enough scrams for all of them, but most of the miners were AFK anyway. They brought their own doom upon themselves.
InsanePostman > really?
InsanePostman > really?
Arden Elenduil > yep
Arden Elenduil > 500 mil or the orca dies
As a member of the mining corp, Arden was free within the game mechanics to hold his corpmates accountable to the Code. Arden used that freedom to do the courageous thing, not the easy thing. He didn't play EVE for AFK isk. The miners of BLACKHEARTSGAMING had used and abused their own freedom to pursue wickedness. They would pay a price for it. But the severity of their punishment was up to them. They could behave with honour, like Gallants. Or they could be Goofuses. If they chose to be Goofuses, bad things would happen.

To be continued...