Friday, August 17, 2018

Over One Trillion Six Hundred Five Billion in Shares Sold

Another week of victories for the Code, coming right up! Let's get to it.

Aiko Danuja made a series of additional purchases of New Order stock. The purchases, adding up to 300 shares, were timed well enough so that one of them took us past the 1,603 billion isk mark and another took us past the 1,605 billion isk mark. This earned Aiko a Double Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™, or, if you prefer, two Grover Clevelandesque non-consecutive Supreme Protector's Tips of the Hat™.

More traditionally, Kegan Bjornson made a bulk purchase of 1,750 shares, guaranteeing that we crossed the 1,604 billion isk mark. Kegan earned a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™, too.


One of the most outrageous ways to violate the Code is to mine without a permit while publicly broadcasting your illegal activity on Twitch. That's what Mora Mar did--with predictable but extremely satisfying results.

Agent Janine Frost and friends crashed the stream and trashed the miner. The Twitch video went offline, but Janine put up a mirror on YouTube.

Janine also made a post about the encounter on Reddit, which was generously upvoted.

The Mackinaw was fail-fit, of course. The pod was full of nonsense. It's curious that this miner thought he was safe in 0.9 security space; that's New Order territory.


Agent Grixer Noxtlus of Division 315 was inspired by the gank and made a quick cut version of the video. If you want to get to the juicy parts of the gank (or simply want to see an animation of the mighty CODE. alliance logo in the opening), you may prefer this version.

Thursday, August 16, 2018

The Porpoiseless Miner, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Kynthia Loren lost her Porpoise and pod when she failed to obey the Code. But to the Agents who ganked her, it seemed that Kynthia had lost something far more important. Through their conversation with Kynthia, they discovered that she didn't believe anything mattered.

Our Agents challenged the sincerity of Kynthia's expressed beliefs. If she wanted to lose all of her stuff, they'd be happy to make it explode.

Most carebears--and more than a few nullsec alliances--claim that their losses "have already been replaced". Kynthia went a step further: She had no interest in replacing her lost ship and implants.

Hoping to jolt the miner out of her funk, our Agents invoked the name of the Saviour of Highsec. That usually does the trick.

Kynthia's ennui persisted, but she did let something slip--her intention to resume mining.

Agent Drugs McFarland hoped to see the miner become more engaged in EVE, even if it meant she didn't fight for the New Order. Kynthia wasn't interested.

Our Agents have encountered depressing, pessimistic miners before, but Kynthia took the cake.

Kynthia withdrew further and further from reality. She denied the existence of her fallen Porpoise.

The miner set herself adrift. Our Agents held to the truth; Kynthia sank into the abyss.

Most highsec miners have a distorted view of the world. That's one of the reasons destroying their stuff is such a useful tactic; it forces them to confront reality.

Kynthia retreated deeper into denial. Our Agents began to doubt if they could reason with her.

So much of EVE is based around perception, spin, and propaganda. The Code is a wonderful antidote to all of that. We know the New Order and its power are real because the players make it real. You break the Code, our Agents break your ship.

Kynthia allowed herself to become completely absorbed into her strange philosophy. She cared more about CONCORD than she did about people. She even suggested sympathy for some kind of bot-aspirant civil rights movement.

In fact, Kynthia was a bot-aspirant. She divorced herself from all normal human emotion and thoughts. Her humanity was hardly recognizable.

Another invocation of the Saviour's name was enough to make Kynthia log off. She couldn't even bring herself to join the chorus of "Praise James!" What a cold, bitter heart she must have.

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

The Porpoiseless Miner, Part 1

You've heard of Orcas, but have you heard of their wretched little cousin, the Porpoise?

Don't worry about the details--Porpoises go boom like any other mining ship.

Kynthia Loren lost her Porpoise when a fleet of Code enforcers dropped a pile of Catalysts on her. Yet she didn't seem to mind.

Our Agents weren't buying it. They'd seen plenty of miners who try to feign indifference while seething on the inside.

Even so, Kynthia gave off a strange aura of detachment. But why?

The miner's comments suggested that she had either become a nihilist or a fatalist, or both.

Typically, a mining ship is a carebear's most prized possession. Kynthia, on the other hand, made it sound like she didn't even like having a Porpoise--like she was glad she'd been ganked.

Our Agents harbored doubts about the miner's attitude. She was irrational, not merely apathetic.

Agent Drugs McFarland raised another point: Some miners don't care about their ships, but losing implants really stings.

The gankers had taken Kynthia's pod, too. She had a set of learning implants--and that little bauble on the bottom right, a Mining Foreman Mindlink.

Kynthia expressed total disinterest in the implants she'd lost. There was something off about this miner.

To the gankers' amazement, Kynthia declared that she'd intended to lose her stuff from the very beginning. It was all part of her plan.

Kynthia was among the most nihilistic miners that our Agents had ever come across. Could they find a way to make her feel something--anything? And could they get a permit sale from such a strange miner?

To be continued...

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Tapestry of Tears, Part 9

Previously, on MinerBumping... Vaughn Law aka Lahnius shocked all present in the mighty CODE. alliance's channel when he announced his intention to form a new, more powerful version of Anti-Ganking: "Hardcore AG".

Though Vaughn's allegiance was now solidly with Hardcore AG, he still expressed regrets about missed opportunities from his time in CODE.

Indeed, Vaughn saw himself as the judge of who was truly CODE. and who was merely a pretender. During his roughly 10-day stay in the alliance, he'd been one of the true CODE. members.

Vaughn was bitter about the fact that CODE. leadership never acted on his "intel reports". That wouldn't be a problem for Hardcore AG; he'd be the leadership himself.
Vaughn Law > COWARD
Vaughn Law > C O W A R D
Vaughn Law > waoit i know you ... ummm ... damn i cant remember your original name but wqe were in alliance in shattered galaxy .. and you were a bitch then too
Trump The King > wtf is shattered galaxy
Vaughn Law > hahahaha ikr
Vaughn Law > you were a punk then and yer a punk now
Agent Trump The King found himself accused of having a connection to something called "Shattered Galaxy". Apparently this referred to another game, which Vaughn had played in the past. Vaughn was convinced that he'd crossed paths with Trump in that game.

Regardless, Shattered Galaxy was the past. Hardcore AG was the future--one which spelled certain doom for Agent Alt 00.

Agent Trump realized that there was little chance of convincing Vaughn to join a TeamSpeak conference. However, there was a new priority: To gather information about Hardcore AG before it could seize control of Nakugard and other systems.
Vaughn Law > good gawd man you truly have no reasl idea who i am?
Vaughn Law > wow
Vaughn Law > idiot ... lol ... btw all refineries are pulled due to potential wardec ... by anyone ... fuck you punk
Vaughn Law > Trump The King you causewd all of this ...
Trump The King > im glad i caused this
Rather than trying to reason with the Hardcore Anti-Ganker, Trump aimed to make comments which might elicit information about Vaughn's intentions. With any luck, Vaughn would let something valuable slip.
Vaughn Law > i will copy that to alt 00 every fucking time we destroy him
Vaughn Law > ?love hugs and kisses
Vaughn Law > asshat
Vaughn Law > yoiu are a complete dumbshit
Vaughn Law > just like in shattered galaxy
Trump The King > wtf is shattered galaxy
Though Vaughn did not appear to have any useful information at his disposal, Trump's was a relatively low-effort operation: Hearing just a few words from Trump would set Vaughn off for quite some time.
Vaughn Law > its all goiod ... nakugard will be code free
Vaughn Law > and im about to prive it to you
Vaughn Law > Trump The King alt 00 cant controil 11 cats
Vaughn Law > i will exploiut it
Vaughn Law > and i will share
The anti-Code resistance leader's plan came into focus as he repeatedly indulged in fantasies about preventing ganks in Nakugard.
Vaughn Law > we are going to fuck you guys up ..
Vaughn Law > you have no idea
Vaughn Law > you creAteds a targert
Vaughn Law > crerated
Vaughn Law > alt 00 will pay
It had now been over two hours since Vaughn started ranting and raving in the Alliance channel. Our Agents decided to test the rebel:
Vaughn Law > but isnt this your dream?
Vaughn Law > to destroy code?
Trump The King > definitely
Vaughn Law > Trump The King i knew it, thank you fcor the confirmation
Vaughn Law > copied to james 315
Vaughn Law > mwah
With one word, Agent Trump spun Vaughn up into another fit.
Tax Collector HongMei > trump is James 315 dumbo
Vaughn Law > is he? lkmao thats actually pretty gay
Vaughn Law > thjats embarrsssing
Vaughn Law > well lets see how ccp feel about it lol
Vaughn Law > the while account sharing thing ... you know ... come on now big man how about you talksome more shit lol
Vaughn Law > opening a report form now
Vaughn Law > DUMBASS
With any luck, Vaughn would chase phantoms and waste his time on petitions while Alt 00 readied her defenses in Nakugard. But one thing was clear: Time was running out.

To be continued...

Monday, August 13, 2018

Tapestry of Tears, Part 8

Previously, on MinerBumping... Vaughn Law, also known as the Anti-Ganker Lahnius, prepared to go to war against the mighty CODE. alliance. And his first target was none other than Alt 00, the only Agent he'd ever truly respected.
Trump The King > alt 00 is on comms with us right now
Vaughn Law > Trump The King i dont care
Trump The King > well he does
Vaughn Law > warn hin of your misdeeds
Thus far, nothing could entice Vaughn to return to the CODE. TeamSpeak server--not even the promise of Alt 00's presence.
Trump The King > he wants a civil discussion
Vaughn Law > Trump The King yea thats goinbg to happen ... tell him how you fucked him
Vaughn Law > Trump The King no its not up to me ... i went comms you guys want to be siully boys
Vaughn Law > l;ol silly blyz die
Again and again, our Agents offered to hash things out on voice comms. Vaughn was insistent: He'd never again risk his reputation in that way.
Trump The King > Vaughn Law
Vaughn Law > look asshat Trump The King ... you did this ... you caused this ... i tried to tell you that minerbumping was infiltrated by ag ... but no you wouldnt listen ... and you even went farther toi insult ... so hey f u man ... man ,,., i tried
Vaughn Law > btw asshats i dont reply to douche mail
Slowly but surely, Vaughn's ability to type was deteriorating. In Agent Trump's view, that made voice communication all the more essential.
Trump The King > teamspeak
Vaughn Law > Trump The King lol ... you are a funbny guy ...
Vaughn Law > but not too funny
Vaughn Law > Trump The King lol nope aint gonna happen
Vaughn Law > i tried
Vaughn Law > all is gone
Vaughn Law > you tiurned a code member into an ag
By now, it was clear that there was absolutely zero chance for successful peace talks. Vaughn was absolutely committed to rejoining the Anti-Gankers.

To show he was serious, Vaughn began to block various members of CODE. who were watching the spectacle in the Alliance channel. Trump The King remained unblocked, however--for now.

The rebooted Anti-Ganker grew increasingly frustrated by the endless invitations to join TeamSpeak. In fact, being badgered in this manner was almost as unpleasant as being on voice comms.
Vaughn Law > Trump The King dude i told yer dumbass ... i went on comms only to hear retards saying some of the dumbest shit i have ever heard in eve
Vaughn Law > i used to be ag ... i went code because i saw a better way ... biut what i have learned is code is a buncgh of idiots pretending tobe special ... time to back to ag ... and not the channle ag cuz those guys are morons ... we are our own ag ...
Though Vaughn planned to return to his rebellious ways, this time would be different. He still despised the "mainstream" Anti-Gankers who ran the Anti-Ganking channel.

Vaughn was confident that he alone possessed the skill to actually prevent ganks. He referred to the killboard of UNRealGUNS, a corporation that consisted of himself and a few alts:

Strangely, though, UNRealGUNS was apparently inactive from August 2017 to January 2018, the period during which Vaughn/Lahnius claimed to have scored his victories against CODE. And when the hiatus ended in January 2018, it was scarcely more active.
Vaughn Law > Trump The King good job at fuckingthat up
Vaughn Law > dumb shit
Vaughn Law > lmao
Vaughn Law > what a fool
Vaughn Law > you have no idea the ppl you shit on
Vaughn Law > and thjats the problem
Even so, Vaughn felt he was a cut above the other rebels who had crossed Agent Trump's path. This time, Trump would pay.

Vaughn spat at the Agent one more time before he unveiled his new vision:
holdmybeer > Vaughn Law come ts
Vaughn Law > look simple soul ... if i get kicked oh well ... i told James 315 whats going on ... if im shit on for telling ther truth then so be it
Vaughn Law > then i walk ... anmd i go hardcore ag ... not ag channle fuck those morons ... no ... ag on our own ... you guys have a hard time prtecting anything ...
Trump The King > hardcore ag

Vaughn's new breed of anti-Code resistance fighter had a name, one which would spread fear among every member of CODE.: Hardcore AG.

To be continued...

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Kills of the Week

Bot-aspirancy and non-compliance in the face of the New Order's overwhelming power is not merely foolhardiness--it's madness. If you think that's an exaggeration, merely cast your eyes upon the madness of these carebears, killed during the week of August 5th @ 00:00 EVEtime through August 11th @ 23:59 EVEtime:

Just minutes before last week came to a close, Drake Parkman tried to pull a fast one on our Agents--or, rather, he tried to pull a slow one. Drake autopiloted his rookie ship through the Amarr system, one of highsec's most popular trade hubs. Agent Anyanka Funk was there to greet him.

The innocent, defenseless newbie in a rookie ship happened to be carrying 7.4 billion isk worth of skill injectors. You see? Madness.

Our Agents continue their war against unlicensed Refineries and other structures anchored in New Order territory. This week, the mighty CODE. alliance declared war against Honourable East India Company corporation. The war has gone well thus far, with the current isk tally standing at 16.4 billion isk to zero. Agents Sigrid Tystnad, Rainbow Cake, Kissemurra, Jathrine, Ice is Nice, Love Humps, Blazing Pancake, Chocolate Rainbow Cake, Dominated, Discofitta, Delicate Feminine Flower, and Kermakakku proved more than capable in the art of the wardec. This week also saw a wardec against J.C.R. Industrial Inc. corp, which is losing the war 13.4 billion isk to zero.

Carmela Tourraine was hanging out at one of Jita's "law schools" late last week. Apparently Carmela flunked the course in highsec law, i.e., the Code. Agents tumblr ptsd, Serious Web Developer, PogChampion, patyooki, Daniel Chanline, erobb, Shy Elf Trap, and James BIG BONED caught her piloting an unlicensed hauler. The law of highsec was enforced to the tune of 10.7 billion isk.

Carl Stonewall made a terrible mistake when he brought a 17.6 billion isk jump freighter into Niarja. Carl didn't know anything about the Code--and didn't know much more about EVE's game mechanics:

Somehow, Agents Facebookina McHashtags vonInstagram and Jason Kusion managed to talk Carl into a situation from which there was no escape.

Mustafa Alijandro was at the helm of a 4.9 billion isk "ship that can't shoot back". Mustafa didn't know it, but he was about to engage in elite PvP with Agents Ralliana, TroubleShooter Maker, Luna Nightblood, Underpaid Ship Mechanic, TroubleStarter Maker, and HiJack Maker. Mustafa was likely AFK at the time, but I'm sure our Agents would be happy to tell him all about the glorious battle.

Scootyie's 3 billion isk Golem met its end in Uedama, burial ground of bling. Agent holdmybeer was on hand to dispose of the Golem's pod.

Scootyie lost 3.2 billion isk worth of implants, including a Crystal set. Non-compliance is never pretty.