Monday, October 31, 2016

Thou Shalt Not Covey, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... Love was dead in highsec. Covey Deninard vowed endless revenge against Busty Lady Ereland, whom he now believed to be an alt of Agent Krig Povelli. Busty Lady hired Krig Povelli to declare war against Covey's corp; in return, Covey hired mercenaries against Krig. Covey was on top of the world when he heard that Krig lost 10 billion isk after the mercs attacked his freighter and triggered a massive collateral payment on a courier contract. But things were not as they seemed.

Covey was more than happy to pay his mercenaries for apparently dealing so much damage to Krig Povelli. He was less pleased when a member of Krig's corp--still at war with Covey's--dropped by Osmon to say hello. Covey lost a dubiously fit 2.7 billion isk Gnosis.
From: Krig Povelli
Sent: 2016.07.04 17:32
To: Covey Deninard,

How do you like our war so far?
You may have messed up my haul in that freighter, but I am going to show you. I bought some PLEX and I have made an offer to your precious [REDACTED]. Your days are numbered. You thought you have ISK? I have ISK too.
As Covey was still reeling from his loss, Krig dropped another bombshell: He was planning to bribe Covey's mercs to switch sides!
Re: War
From: Covey Deninard
Sent: 2016.07.04 17:37
To: Krig Povelli,

wait for it.............wait for
Alerted to the possibility that he might get out-bid on the merc contract, Covey remained strangely calm. Something was up.
Re: War
From: Covey Deninard
Sent: 2016.07.04 18:52
To: Krig Povelli,

Did you wait for it?...............gonna out spend me?............I can't afford it? matter what NPC corp you and your alts hide die

[REDACTED] forwarded your email to me..................and his responce......................BOOM !
It was Covey's turn to drop a bombshell. His mercenary friends had forwarded to him all their communications with Krig:
From: Krig Povelli
Sent: 2016.07.04 15:53

I am tired of hiding and getting blown up by you guys over some carebear, so I am going to make you a deal. I don't know how much he paid you, but I have a lot of ISK. You are mercs so I know the deal. I will pay 10 billion ISK to dec him now that our war is over.
I will even help in the war. He flies shiny gnosis and has hauler alts. You guys can even keep all of the spoils from the war.
Krig's offer to Covey's mercenaries had been 10 billion isk to switch sides. Was it enough?
Re: Enough
Sent: 2016.07.04 16:22
To: Krig Povelli,

No, sorry we are a respectable alliance and we don't work for that cheap, you will need to offer a bit more for us to end the contract with other party. Make a better offer.
The mercenaries were too honourable to abandon their allegiance for a mere 10 billion isk. They demanded more.
Re: Enough
From: Krig Povelli
Sent: 2016.07.04 17:03

Fine. I had to buy some PLEX to sell and this is the max I can come up with. I don't have any more ISK or ships to sell. I want this guy dead. Please work with me. 18 billion to hire you, and that is making me broke. I will have to wait until next month to get more ISK.
Krig then made the generous offer of 18 billion isk. Surely Covey wouldn't be able to offer more than that hefty sum?
Re: Enough
Sent: 2016.07.04 18:39
To: Covey Deninard, Krig Povelli,

Apparently he had. Now it was time for Covey to gloat.
From: Covey Deninard
Sent: 2016.07.04 18:59
To: Krig Povelli,

Lesson TWO:............You mess with the bull, you get the horns..........................told you it was about heart!

How do you like me now..............Bitch!
The triumphant Covey sent another EVEmail to Krig to announce his victory. He'd won--with heart.

Or had he? The price of his imagined victory had been steep. In order to out-bid Agent Krig, Covey paid 25 billion isk to the mercenaries. In appreciation, the mercs promptly sent 10 billion of that to Krig Povelli.

They had been working together the entire time.

Covey Deninard chose the life of an anti-Code rebel. A rebel's lot is never a happy one: Covey lost an Orca in battle; he gave away a freighter, Bowhead, and another Orca to Busty Lady; he paid mercenaries to inflict 10 billion isk in damage that turned out to be illusory; he lost a 2.7 billion isk Gnosis in a wardec; he paid another 25 billion isk as part of a bidding scam. He'd also lost his faith in the goodness of his fellow rebels.

From the start, Covey could've chosen to buy a New Order mining permit for 10 million isk and obey the Code. Rebels, trust me when I tell you it's the better option.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Kills of the Week

For carebears, it's all about keeping up appearances. That's why they constantly lie: I wasn't AFK, I'm not a miner, I do elite nullsec PvP on an alt, I'm secretly a war hero, I am calm, nobody's ever ganked me before, I'm just a newbie with a billion isk freighter, etc., etc. But Agents of the New Order aren't interested in lies and superficial things; they care about what's in an EVE players' heart. The Code cuts right to the truth. And now let us watch as the truth was revealed during the week of October 23rd @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 29th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

"Why gank a defenseless shuttle?" asks the carebear. "That's not elite PvP." Tboi Skjem showed us exactly why the New Order is right to gank shuttles. Agent Marina Gankalot popped a random AFK autopiloting shuttle and earned a 7.2 billion isk killmail, solo. That's elite PvP! Entire fleet battles in nullsec with hundreds of participants yield less.

All the skill injectors in the world couldn't help a carebear like this. For such a severe case of bot-aspirancy, only the Code will do.

"Why gank a newbie in a harmless Venture?" asks the carebear. Alexa Willow shows us why all Ventures must be thoroughly examined with gunfire. Agent Rick Therapist popped the Venture and discovered it was worth 860 million isk. That easily justifies the ganking of a few thousand more Ventures; hopefully they won't be hiding anything.

What's a newbie doing with a purple module in his cargo? Nothing good.

Last week, Uedama was so busy we couldn't cover it in one post. Among the many freighters and jump freighters destroyed: Sapheara's Ark, which was hauling lots of ships, including 2 Procurers and 3 Skiffs. None had a permit. Agents Winnie Po0h, KoHfeTHbIu TpoLLb, Milkmypigeon, Chapo Muerte, holdmybeer, Jeremiah Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jason Kusion, and Allise Soprano obliterated the carebear, who didn't bother to activate his jump drive during the battle.

Sapheara whined about the encounter--as if EVE would be more fun if nobody could damage each other's ships.

There's been an uptick of non-compliants piloting Deep Space Transports instead of freighters. They're trying to be less conspicuous, I suppose, but to no avail. After all, if we gank all the shuttles and Ventures we see, what hope do transport ships have? Mainiac IV assembled his failing-est Impel and lost 7.7 billion isk to the Kusions--Agents Jayson Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jake Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jason Kusion, and Jeremiah Kusion.

Then there are the haulers disguised as combat pilots. Otec Zulu's philosophy for his Dominix was simple: Business in the highs, party in the lows. Friend, good taste never goes out of style, and that ain't it. Agents holdmybeer, Justin Kusion, Chapo Muerte, Jason Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, KoHfeTHbIu TpoLLb, Joshua Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Milkmypigeon, Jeremiah Kusion, Zula Terra, Jackson Kusion, Winnie Po0h, Joseph Kusion, and Johnathan Kusion defended the honour of true Dominixes everywhere.

Razgar Patnovich, a known Anti-Ganker, was attempting to harass Agent Aaaarrgg. When our Agent spotted Razgar AFK at a station--while suspect, no less--it was time to show the rebel who owns highsec.

Three billion isk of implants were destroyed. At the time, Razgar had been piloting what looked like a gank Thrasher. Aaaarrgg saw right through him. No matter what they wear on the outside, on the inside an Anti-Ganker is just an expensive killmail waiting to happen.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Thou Shalt Not Covey, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Hell hath no fury like a carebear who's lost his isk. Covey Deninard let Busty Lady Ereland borrow three ships. When she failed to return any of them, he arranged to hire mercenaries. Busty Lady beat him to the punch by hiring Agent Krig Povelli to wardec Covey's corp. Bizarrely, Krig Povelli was then caught by Covey's mercs while flying a freighter during the wardec.

Things only got stranger. Krig's freighter was involved in a courier contract with suspiciously high collateral: 8.7 billion isk. Between the freighter and the lost collateral, Krig lost over 10 billion isk.
From: Krig Povelli
Sent: 2016.07.02 20:44
To: Covey Deninard,

Alright you little shit.. now you cost me real ISK. You will pay dearly for that.

You may think you can hire mercs forever but I can hire mercs too. We'll see who has the bigger wallet and I will never stop the war now. You are going down.
It seemed as though Covey was triumphant. Not only did his mercenaries destroy Krig's freighter and ruin his courier contract, they caused Krig to send him an angry EVEmail--written in a style uncharacteristic of a New Order Agent. Had the New Order suffered its first defeat after more than four years of nothing but victories?
From: Covey Deninard
Sent: 2016.07.02 21:01
To: Krig Povelli,

Looks like I can hurt you after

Vittenyn >> Osmon (250020 m³) (Courier)

not that is bout twice what you took from me.......ready to return what you took or shall I continue....
Covey blamed Krig Povelli for everything Busty Lady had done; apparently he now believed they were the same person all along. Earlier, Covey had told Busty Lady that his arrangement with the mercenaries didn't require him to pay anything unless they inflicted a certain amount of isk damage against the target. They'd certainly earned their paycheck now. Covey was ecstatic.

Behind the scenes, the situation was murkier. Some shady deals were being made. Blissfully ignorant of these proceedings, Covey went on a victory tour. He embarked on an EVEmail-writing campaign with few precedents, even among his fellow rebel carebears.
your pride will be your undoing...your ego is going to be you weak spot....I'm going you hurt you in EVE......make all the threats you want.....I'm an old disabled vet...I fight.....I bleed.......but I take you with me....swallow your pride and return what you took now........that is your only chance.......I do not keep my wealth in isk for you to look have no idea what is coming......but you can stop it....You preyed upon my geneerosity.....these things too make a real simply do not seem to have learned that.......but I am always willing to teach a small man like you....the train is coming.......the 1st wave will not seem small compaired to the second.......and I can count very high........
For the next few hours, he wrote one EVEmail to Agent Krig after the next. Some of them consisted of paragraphs, while others were one sentence. For the sake of readability, I have merged the shorter EVEmails into paragraphs. And, as you'll soon see, there was one other typographical issue that needed my attention.
I prefer to make you an ally and friend as my actions showed.......but I will make of you an example.......if you make me....return what you took........settle is not isk that will win the is heart......I do not wish to tear you down......but do not mistake that for weakness or unwillinngness.......I will have justice.....I will teeach you in Eve what you failed to leare irl as a man...or I will crush you without have become predictable and your ego needs deflatting...I do not require your submision.......only that you return what you scammed, took and preyed upon me for.......all while my hand was outreached in friendship....
Covey is a big fan of ellipses--the longer the better. Many of his ellipses contained 10 or 20 or more periods. For your sake, dear reader, I have shortened the ellipses to a more manageable length.
learn or be destroyed....or go waste your money on merc who hide from the best....but in less than a day the terms will increase many times what you took........I will, after that, the tide of destruction and matter the cost. Please......take the hand of friendship is worth more than our pride........ [REDACTED] was my enemy, now they are my sword.......learn from them has been profitable in isk to them in isk far beyond your knowlege....
Covey was confident that if he kept paying his mercenaries, they would continue to inflict dizzying losses upon his enemy. Covey offered Agent Krig a way out.
My merc have much more in intel and recorces than I.....they know your other about to stop flying in Eve...tic toc........and my sureender conditions are aobut to be many times my losses to you...tic toc....

ironic isn't it......what you threatened me with is about to be your fate........tic toc........tic toc....
Covey was in the driver's seat, he believed. He'd always failed at PvP before, but with PLEX-funded mercenaries, he'd found the answer.
You are a coward, a theif and a lier........let the game begin for round two.......your surrender will now bit the origiinal loss of 4.3 bil plus fittings will be increasd to X4.....deep pockets should not mine that at all.....4.3 bil X 4 will be my price to "call them off" as you put it.....enjoy my ships skid mark........

Lesson one:.......if you cant do the time or pay the fine....don't do the crime...smooches........not on line ........didn't get the essage........NMP........(not my problem)

FYI.......incace you can't do math......that's 17.2 bil to stop this now....not a problem for "Deep Pockets"...right?........
The price for calling off Covey's mercs would be a steep one: Over 17 billion isk. It was an unreasonable offer, but Covey was motivated by revenge. He still felt the sting of Busty Lady's betrayal.
Where are your mercs....hiding in dock?.....lmao.....come one big bully....real men and real soldiers "complete the mission" all costs.......

I bacame disable vet from real are nothing....but an arm chair want-a-be...I was in Afganastan in 79 when the Russians came in....that is how I bacame disabled specialty was WMD are just an arm chair what you owe 17.2 bil or leave eve......

it's heart dirt bag...not friend and pay up or run and hide....punk
The "I'm a disabled war veteran" square was retired from Miner Bingo nearly four years ago. That hasn't stopped carebears from randomly injecting references to their alleged military service into conversations about EVE, though.
does your wife know you have to squat when you doublt she knows much more than fight with your

Pay me 17.2 Bil isk and then you can go be a scummy scammer in
Covey was drunk with his imagined power and success. Would he be satisfied by the war's conclusion, or was he in for a rude awakening?

To be continued...

Friday, October 28, 2016

Thou Shalt Not Covey, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Covey Deninard's life was turned upside down when he met Busty Lady Ereland, a fellow anti-Code rebel who sought his help in attacking Agent Krig Povelli. Covey's Orca was destroyed in battle. To make matters worse, he lost a Bowhead and a freighter when he lent them to Busty Lady and she failed to give them back. Covey was disheartened. Still, there was something special about Busty Lady. When she asked to borrow his new Orca, he met up with her and seemed ready to give up the ship. Suddenly, Covey was contacted by mercs.
Covey Deninard > just got a message from a merc friend.............hears I'm getting ripped off.........offereing his alliance services again...............I told none of our conversations or loan of ships
Busty Lady Ereland > not me
Busty Lady Ereland > probably from some other engagement?
Covey Deninard > no other problems right now........just running my freight.........lost none
Somehow, Covey's mercenary friends knew their buddy was in danger. Busty Lady was shocked. She'd been just moments away from getting her hands on that Orca.
Busty Lady Ereland > I don't know what it could be
Covey Deninard > onlly losses were to you or on your behalf
Busty Lady Ereland > Its not a loss though
Busty Lady Ereland > Just as soon as I get the ISK its yours
Covey Deninard > sorry will have to fix this before I do anthing else.........if you can't........I hire him
Given these new developments, handing over the Orca to Busty Lady was absolutely out of the question. Covey demanded to be repaid for his Bowhead and freighter. If Busty Lady didn't pay up, Covey would hire the mercs.
Busty Lady Ereland > I can fix it now
Busty Lady Ereland > I just need to move the stuff
Covey Deninard > I'm out
Busty Lady Ereland > I am ready to swap in space
Covey Deninard > I'm out 3 bil +........i'm out
Busty Lady pleaded with Covey. All she needed was Covey's Orca. If she had that, she could set everything right. But there was no way Covey would fall for the same trick a third time.
Busty Lady Ereland > please
Busty Lady Ereland > I need the ISK too
Busty Lady Ereland > I will give you all 3 bil from the sale
Covey Deninard > last chance or you have a new alliance of people hunting me at star
Busty Lady Ereland > I won't let you down
When Busty Lady pointed out that she was in dire financial straits too, Covey couldn't help but sympathize. Once again he saw Busty Lady as a damsel in distress; she was the same rebel firecracker who'd come to him when she needed help attacking Agent Krig Povelli. Covey was willing to give her one final ship.
Busty Lady Ereland > she is in range
Busty Lady Ereland > grid is clear
Covey Deninard > Hold one moment.....have friend on other channel
Busty Lady Ereland > we don't want to sit here too long
Busty Lady Ereland > There is no need to send mercs on me. I am good for the money
Covey Deninard > we shall see
Covey ejected from the Orca. Busty Lady boarded it and went on her way. Having now received an Orca, Bowhead, and freighter, she'd pulled off the "hauler borrowing" hat-trick.
Busty Lady Ereland > on way to jita
Busty Lady Ereland > In olo now
Covey Deninard > k
Busty Lady Ereland > I don't appreciate your lack of trust. I am going to keep the orca. I still think you took the bowhead back somehow and you are trying to scam me
As Busty Lady made her way back to Jita, she reflected on her relationship with Covey. She was tired of his constant suspicions and guilt trips. He no longer made her happy. Under these circumstances, the only mature thing for her to do was to break ties with Covey and keep all his stuff.
Covey Deninard > that's what I was warned of..........hiring mercs
Covey Deninard > Those 3 ships will cost you more than you know.........I'm a good ally.......but I hire mercs to get many times that in reveng..............
Busty Lady Ereland > Mercs cost billions
Busty Lady Ereland > You won't afford it
That was the last straw. Covey got ready to hire mercenaries to take his revenge. However, the newly liberated--and contemptuous--Busty Lady didn't think he was man enough to make good on his threats.
Covey Deninard > contact will be for a specific isk amout of payback...........I have lots of would be supprise what I can afford
Busty Lady Ereland > I am going to pay a guy to merc you then
Covey Deninard > 2 guys now
Covey Deninard > enjoy
Covey explained that he wouldn't have to pay the mercs unless they inflicted a certain level of isk damage against the target. And if that happened, he would be more than willing to cash in his PLEX to pay the contract fee. Busty wasn't afraid. In fact, she claimed to have mercs of her own.
crash and burn
From: Covey Deninard
Sent: 2016.06.30 00:09
To: Busty Lady Ereland,

Deal made...........enjoy your new
Covey's threats weren't as empty as most carebears'. He made a contract with his merc friends and bragged about it to Busty Lady. Now is the point in our story where things take a twist: Busty Lady immediately hired a mercenary corp called Tax Haven McCorpname to wardec Covey's corporation.
From: Covey Deninard
Sent: 2016.06.30 00:17
To: Busty Lady Ereland,

if taht is the best you are in for a real fun ride.
Minutes later, Covey was notified of the wardec against him. He was unimpressed. What he didn't realize is that the mercenaries hired by Busty Lady included someone he knew--none other than Agent Krig Povelli himself!

The plot twists came fast and furious: A few days later, Krig Povelli was caught inexplicably piloting a freighter, which was killed by Covey's mercs. What in the world was going on?

To be continued...

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Thou Shalt Not Covey, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... A fool and his foolishly fit Orca are soon parted. Ice miner Covey Deninard was contacted by fellow anti-Code rebel Busty Lady Ereland, who requested his help in attacking Agent Krig Povelli. This resulted in the destruction of Covey's Orca. Then Busty Lady asked to borrow his Bowhead. He gave her the ship, but when he asked about it the next day, the Bowhead had mysteriously gone missing.

Covey was faced with a difficult decision. The objective evidence pointed to Busty being a liar and a thief. Covey didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe that Busty Lady was just another typical carebear--a user who only cared about money.
Re: Need Bowhead for a run
From: Covey Deninard
Sent: 2016.06.29 23:08
To: Busty Lady Ereland,

No, on my side, everything went as it far as I know trade went off after I checked the accept block........I thought you had it when I mentioned I forgot to check the told me all I had was the fittings on the you had to be looking at the Bowhead fittings which you could only do if you had recieved the you say you never got it..........I think I just got take a chance on people every now and then and can recover from the loss..........but I the one who is willing to loose ships for an ally..........maybe I was wrong about you........
Covey penned an EVEmail to Busty Lady. It was dripping with sadness and disappointment.
Busty Lady Ereland > o/
Busty Lady Ereland > Sorry, I was AFK
Busty Lady Ereland > did you get my mail?
Covey Deninard > Yep......I don't have it........sent email reply
Busty Lady soon got in touch with Covey. He was still speaking to her, but there was a coldness to his manner that wasn't there before.
Busty Lady Ereland > I see the mail now. I am not saying I never received the bowhead
Covey Deninard > I cannot take it back with trade without your participation.
Busty Lady Ereland > I am saying I don't know what happened to it
Covey Deninard > ok
The damage to their relationship seemed irreparable. Covey's trust was completely gone.
Busty Lady Ereland > I put ships in it to move and I logged off and when I came back it wasn't there
Covey Deninard > I don't have it.......but need it for about 6 runs myself
Busty Lady Ereland > It had over 1.8 billion in ships and fittings inside
Busty Lady Ereland > I need my kronos lol
Busty Lady Ereland > As it stands, I need to get a plex in a couple of days and I have no other source of income other than moving my 3 bil in stuff from Osmon to Jita to sell
Now it was Busty Lady's turn to tell her side of the story. Covey wasn't the only one who'd been hurt, she explained.
Covey Deninard > I guess I need to go buy another
Busty Lady Ereland > I can buy you another when I sell the stuff
Busty Lady Ereland > Can I use the charon to move it? I won't log off this time, just go straight to Jita
Busty Lady Ereland > Otherwise I wont have ISK for plex
Covey Deninard > Sorry.........I'm feeling a bit like a mark right now
Under the circumstances, Busty Lady felt it would be appropriate for Covey to let her borrow his freighter.
Busty Lady Ereland > I would not do that to a fellow anti-ganker
Busty Lady Ereland > I hate those scum
Busty Lady Ereland > And I hope we can kill them together soon
Covey Deninard > I've been burned a bunch here on Eve............but I still try to make ally''s when I can
Busty Lady Ereland > If you allow me to restore your faith in humanity, I will show you I am honest
Covey Deninard > I will give you one more me a sucker.....
I believe Covey when he says he's been burned in EVE before.
Covey Deninard > what fittings do you want on Cheron?
Busty Lady Ereland > just whatever it was before is good
Covey Deninard > got it?
Busty Lady Ereland > did you do the trade?
Covey Deninard > Cheron is gone
Busty Lady Ereland > I just saw the window close
Covey Deninard > Sorry Busty.........can't do this again
Alas, another of Covey's ships slipped from his grasp.
Busty Lady Ereland > Maybe we could try orca swap in space
Busty Lady Ereland > I can move my alt to the sun to get the orca
Covey Deninard > Just how many every expensive ship would you hand to someone?
Covey Deninard > egg on my face
Busty Lady then requested the keys to Covey's new Orca. Covey could hardly believe it. History had repeated itself--but this time, Covey really was done with Busty Lady. Finished, for real.
Busty Lady Ereland > But I promise you ship swap in space will work
Busty Lady Ereland > In the mean time, If i can get this stuff to jita I can cover the expenses
Busty Lady Ereland > You will see my alt get in it and go to jita
Covey Deninard > who is your alt
Busty Lady Ereland > [REDACTED]
Busty Lady Ereland > she can fly orca
Busty Lady Ereland > I will move her to the sun
Busty Lady Ereland > We can do it in space
...On the other hand, there was a lot of upside to letting Busty Lady borrow the Orca. Once she'd sold her stuff in Jita, Covey would be repaid.
Covey Deninard > meet me at the star
Busty Lady Ereland > omw
Busty Lady Ereland > she is there at the sun
Covey Deninard > hold the phone.....
Busty Lady Ereland > k
Covey Deninard > just got a message from a merc friend.............hears I'm getting ripped off.........offereing his alliance services again...............I told none of our conversations or loan of ships
Just as the two star-crossed rebels were about to meet at the star and transfer the Orca--a plot twist!

To be continued...

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Thou Shalt Not Covey, Part 1

In every man's life, there are times when he is forced to make a decision, moments when he must take a stand one way or the other. An Orca pilot named Covey Deninard was about to be faced with one of those moments.

Covey Deninard was the CEO of a highsec ice mining corporation. He'd given himself the title of "Covey Deninard", among other things. Covey never bothered to buy a mining permit or pledge support to the Code in his bio. On the other hand, he'd never joined the Anti-Gankers. When Covey saw Agent Krig Povelli go suspect by looting containers in an ice anomaly, he just ignored him.
Busty Lady Ereland > o/
Busty Lady Ereland > can you jam this guy?
Covey Deninard > o7
Covey Deninard > I can ecm drone him
Busty Lady Ereland > sweet
Then Busty Lady Ereland walked into Covey's life. A fiery, spirited young Anti-Ganker, she arrived in the ice anomaly and immediately attacked Agent Krig. The Agent's frigate was tougher than she'd expected, so she convo'ed Covey and requested his assistance. Covey never could say no to a damsel in distress--or a femme fatale.
Covey Deninard > All out of options......
Covey Deninard > He is killing me
Busty Lady Ereland > he convoed me
Busty Lady Ereland > he wants a ransom
Busty Lady Ereland > i am warp scrammed
Covey Deninard > me too but I have no cash......
As soon as Covey's Orca assigned its drones to attack, our Agent turned his attention over to Covey. After the Orca was tackled, a pair of war targets entered the system and helped Agent Krig destroy the Orca.

The Orca never stood a chance. It was the product of a bot-aspirant mind.
Covey Deninard > killed my orca
Busty Lady Ereland > i got out, they lost me when they went after you
Busty Lady Ereland > i really feel bad about how this went down
Covey Deninard > No big deal........always willing to help a fellow Ice miner
Covey knew he was responsible for his own fate. He could've refused to help the Anti-Ganker. He could've chosen to stay out of it, to remain uninvolved. But now he was in the thick of it. Before he even knew what he was doing, Covey was in over his head.
Covey Deninard > Have Rattlesnake ready to undock as soon as it will let me
Busty Lady Ereland > Do you need backup with the fight?
Covey Deninard > fight is over.....had to flee.......he had help
Busty Lady Ereland > damn
For a very brief moment, Covey tried to play the white knight again. He immediately failed. The CODE always wins. Always!
Busty Lady Ereland > well, I really need to move this crap and I am willing to split with you
Busty Lady Ereland > If you have an orca or a frieghter I can use, I will split the sales
Busty Lady Ereland > Just need it to go to jita and back
Busty Lady Ereland > If you can help me out with that, I will be on for a bit. Just make a contract or whatever. I promise it will be benificial to both of us
Covey Deninard > hey
Covey Deninard > was away from computer
As luck would have it, Covey was about to get another opportunity to help Busty Lady. His addiction to going AFK got in the way; the two ships passed in the night.
Covey Deninard > Can do.........not insured though
Covey Deninard > or I have a cheron
Busty Lady Ereland > Charon even better
Covey Deninard > will you need escort?
Busty Lady Ereland > i have a webber
It must've been fate. The next day, Covey and Busty Lady were on at the same time, and she still needed a ship.
Covey Deninard > one moment.........
Busty Lady Ereland > Cool, I really appreaciate it
Busty Lady Ereland > I will let you know when I make the run
Covey Deninard > have a bowhead too if you need sometime
Busty Lady Ereland > Can I?
Busty Lady Ereland > I need to haul ships too
Covey traded his freighter to Busty Lady, free of charge. It was the least he could do for a fellow anti-Code rebel. Especially after his embarrassing performance the day before.
Busty Lady Ereland > We can take care of that part now
Busty Lady Ereland > before I head out
Covey Deninard > which do you want?
Busty Lady Ereland > I can do both and save more time
Covey Deninard > your choice..........yeah.......but I need to trust a bit more to loan both at once.......hope you understand
Busty Lady Ereland > No problem
When she asked for both a freighter and a Bowhead, Covey had to draw the line. He was a chivalrous kinda guy, but he was no sucker. And this was EVE, after all.
Busty Lady Ereland > I'll put the charon in the trade window
Covey Deninard > ok, trade me for the bowhead
Covey Deninard > If we do well time I can loan both
Busty Lady Ereland > No prob. Like I said, I really appreciate the trust
Busty Lady Ereland > And the help
Covey Deninard > now, I have to run on a 34 jump back later
Busty Lady agreed to borrow the Bowhead first. After taking the ship, she disappeared. After another day passed, Covey couldn't stand the silence any longer.
Need Bowhead for a run
From: Covey Deninard
Sent: 2016.06.29 03:07
To: Busty Lady Ereland,

Hey Busty Lady Ereland, hope your trip was uneventful...........need my Bowhead for a trip........don't see you in Osmon.........let me know when and where I can get it back........

Another example of bot-aspirancy: Covey hoped Busty Lady's trip was uneventful. Since when did people play video games for their uneventfulness?
Re: Need Bowhead for a run
From: Busty Lady Ereland
Sent: 2016.06.29 22:38
To: Covey Deninard,

Something happened. I came back to the computer to do my run, and I couldn't find it in station. I thought maybe you had taken it back somehow through the station trade system? I had a Kronos and a few other ships in there worth about 1.8 billion ISK! It is crazy. I need those ships and you need your bowhead.
Covey knew from the moment she warped into his ice anomaly that this dame was gonna be nothin' but trouble.

To be continued...

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Anti-Gankers Contemplate EVE, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Aaaarrgg's infiltration of the Anti-Ganking channel offered insight into the minds of the people who continuously nonstop fail daily.

Carebears are shockingly entitled. They truly believe it's their right to mine AFK in absolute safety.

The rebels indulged in idle speculation as to the true motives of the CODE. alliance.

Miners, here's a hint: CODE.'s motives might have something to do with a thing we call the Code.

Shalishaska Laoch accused our Agents, saying they gank people only because "they enjoy hurting people"--but that some are rather decent folk.

Even though the New Order is more transparent than any organization in EVE's history, the Anti-Gankers fell prey to wild rumors and conspiracy theories. Shalishaska believed that the number of people in CODE. has declined (Dotlan says otherwise) and that the "hard-line gankers" have left (if they're hard-line, they make their home in CODE.). Meanwhile, Tailsko still clung to the long-debunked myth that Goons fund CODE.

Another common theme among the Anti-Ganking crowd is that ordinary gankers are fine, but CODE.'s gankers are an evil greater than anything EVE has ever seen. Similarly, you often hear the sentiment that Goons aren't so bad compared to CODE. Before the New Order, miners thought all gankers and Goons were evil, so it seems we've succeeded in moving the Overton window a fair bit.

As is inevitable during any conversation in Anti-Ganking, the participants turned sour toward each other.

Tailsko and A'stral started bickering about how miners should respond to being ganked.

A'stral challenged the notion that carebears are completely blameless and responsibility-free when it comes to being ganked. That's an Anti-Ganking no-no.

Shalishaska was disgusted by the victim-blaming. On the bright side, this time a rape comparison was not explicitly made.

The carebears' argument grew more heated. If you've ever seen a fantastic killmail earned by CODE. and wondered "Where was Anti-Ganking?", this is where.

A'stral demanded a duel. Clearly she'd come to the wrong place.

Meanwhile, the Kusion family did as it pleased in Uedama. Another day of failure for the rebels; another day of victory for the New Order!

Monday, October 24, 2016

Anti-Gankers Contemplate EVE, Part 1

In a major intelligence coup for the New Order, Agent Aaaarrgg managed to slip an alt past the Anti-Ganking channel security personnel. Now to find out what those scheming carebears were up to...

As Aaaarrgg's spy joined the Anti-Ganking channel, a fight was already in progress. Not between rebels and Agents, of course; the rebels were busy quarreling with each other.

Rebel forces were attempting to gain access to a Citadel which they suspected of rendering aid to CODE. Upon failing to do so, the Anti-Gankers dispersed.

Having over-exerted themselves, the exhausted Anti-Gankers retired to their channel for some well-deserved rest and relaxation.

The channel returned to its default setting: Reports of a bunch of CODE. sightings, but no one actually doing anything about them.

Despite year after year of endless nerfs to ganking, the Anti-Gankers found themselves unable to prevent ganks. But they've become used to it.

An idealistic young newcomer, A'stral, wanted to be proactive. Lacking experience, she hadn't yet grown cynical about the possibility of stopping the New Order. She was getting there, though.

Conversations lazily drifted through the Anti-Ganking channel. They all centered around one thing: CODE.

I've written more words about my ideas an intentions for EVE than anyone else. Yet in so many ways I remain a mystery to the rebels. What am I really after?

The Anti-Ganking "community" owes its existence to us. Even so, they'd prefer that we--and they--didn't exist.

The New Order's Agents are constantly innovating. By contrast, the Anti-Gankers haven't changed much over the years. They still cling to the idea that shooting spaceships in a spaceship-shooting game is "harassment". If PvP is harassment, then the New Order engages in elite harassment.

Nor have the Anti-Gankers ever been grateful for all of the ganking nerfs. Shalishaska Laoch wouldn't be happy unless invincible CONCORD ships killed gankers before they ganked.

Tailsko abandoned the idea of defending against ganks long ago. She doesn't believe evading gankers and tanking one's ship constitute "preventative measures". Most miners think like this. They're like a pilot who jumps into a nullsec bubble gatecamp of 100 people and complains there's no counter.

A'stral tried to look on the bright side, but Tailsko was having none of it. Calculating the most efficient way to AFK mine was enough content for her, thank you very much.

The gloomy mood of the channel persisted. Failing continuously nonstop daily must be so depressing.

Tailsko suggested that the way to fight back against CODE. was to hope that CCP granted One More Nerf™ to highsec ganking. Was there anyone in the channel who could talk some sense into her?

To be continued...

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Kills of the Week

It was a particularly bad week to be a bot-aspirant in highsec. Our Agents were out in force.

The mighty CODE. alliance dominated the killboards. For a time, nearly all of the high-value kills in the entire galaxy were made by CODE. Look at all of those lovely CODE. alliance logos. Mine is literally the face of elite PvP. Many carebears were punished for their decadence during the week of October 16th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 22nd @ 23:59 EVEtime.

Let's start with three doses of absurdity. Valkyrie Hellscythe piloted an outrageous Noctis worth over 900 million isk; it was promptly blapped by Agent Ralliana. The second dose of absurdity is the reason why this Noctis was worth so much:

Yes, for some reason Valkyrie saw fit to include four ORE Strip Miners in her Noctis' cargo. I think we all know how our Agents feel about ORE Strip Miners. And as for the third dose? Valkyrie lost another 900 million isk Noctis to a different Agent 21 minutes later. It, too, was carrying four ORE Strip Miners.

And, my friends, the week only gets crazier from here.

lab guru lived up to her name. Her Bustard was carrying a lab's worth of blueprints. It wasn't long before Agents Xunasy, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Emile, Imastupid fc, and Lul GitGud Kid had her in their sights.

lab guru's ship dropped 6.8 billion isk worth of blueprint originals. You can be sure they're being put to better use now.

We know there's such a thing as an anti-tank fit, in which a ship's cargo mods lower the ship's hitpoints. When I look at SniperWolf90's 1.4 billion isk Mackinaw, I see an isk anti-tank. That is, his blingy shield mods (to say nothing of the blingy yield mods) are worth so much isk that they do more to attract incoming fire than to tank it. Agents Shadow Cyrilus, Lichelle Marie, Mildron Klinker, and Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri must have salivated when they scanned the Mackinaw. Or perhaps they simply saw a non-compliant Mackinaw and destroyed it without needing to scan it first. Either way, they also destroyed SniperWolf90's billion isk pod.

Last week, everyone's favorite Anti-Ganker Crazy'Ivan managed to lose a 3.3 billion isk faction battleship. He's probably used to losing expensive stuff by now, but...

Crazy'Ivan was ganked by Agent-aspirant Yulai Crus Cerebi. This NPC displayed more humanity than most of the highsec miners we encounter.

Verdith'Tanath packed up his Anshar and set his autopilot for Jita. With a triple-anti-tanked jump freighter and 52.7 billion isk at stake, he saw no reason not to go AFK. Then he stumbled upon a fleet full of reasons: Agents Synamic, Sinister Minister, Archibald Fizzleblade, Unfit ForDoody, SynthiaGreey, Samsa, Baukert Schietschip, Jack Fizzleblade, Kyalla Ahashion, Rick Nederlander, Hermann Fizzleblade, Alexis Grixis, Whitney Wooberg, Jasper Esper, Asha Vantthellere, Arobaz, Heck Heckington, Yuliana Tang, Lawrence Lawton, Another ShadeOf Whyte, Franz Fizzleblade, Shazna Solta, Mack Poddington, Grant Bant, Law Abiding Citizen, Tim Simsalabim, 4R084Z, James Poddington, Hagen Fizzleblade, Liz Cadelanne, Urziel TheGunner, Auroroa Lowe, Groenteboer, Sigmund Jund, Amanantian, Beep Meep Beep, and Justinian Ganglious.

Incidentally, the Anshar had plenty of jump fuel. It was only missing a pilot. A mining permit wouldn't have hurt, either.

Yikes. oriental jew lost one of the most expensive pods we've recorded on MinerBumping. Agent Winnie Po0h had the pleasure of devouring 7.7 billion isk worth of implants. This came immediately after oriental jew lost his 8.9 billion isk Bowhead.

In case you were curious, this is what a 7.7 billion isk pod looks like. Can anyone doubt that highsec needs us?