Thursday, June 30, 2016

Mercy for the PLEX Dropper

No ship is too small to comply with the Code. Likewise, no Code violator is too small to be ganked by our Agents.

Christopherer Walkenen's anti-tanked Reaper was worth 1.1 billion isk. It was autopiloting while carrying a PLEX.

Agent Tisiphone Dira lent the carebear a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on. It was the least she could do while her scout alt was busy looting the PLEX.

Though the rebels and skeptics and pro-carebear crowd offer lip service to gank recipients, it's the Agents of the New Order who actually bother to help them.

Tisiphone's compassion for carebears is so great that she'll even take pity on someone who hauls PLEX. Assuming they're actually hurting financially, that is. The EVE players with billions in their wallet don't need it.

Christopherer claimed to be eligible for financial aid. Sadly, carebears have a tendency toward mendacity, so our Agents have no choice but to request proof of eligibility. Too many carebears have abused our trust in the past.

Tisiphone was troubled to discover that Christopherer's other character, Lainia Tsutola, owned an Orca. The carebear was now considered a borderline case. Tisiphone would need to get creative.

Our Agent proposed a trade. She'd still hand over the PLEX, but she needed the Orca from the Lainia character. Christopherer would receive a net 400 million isk in financial aid, while Tisiphone would still gain 700 million from the gank.

But Tisiphone's mercy had its limits. She drew the line at schlepping all the way out to Jita. The Orca would need to be delivered to her home base in Hek by way of courier contract.

Of course, finding someone who could transport cargo as big as a packaged Orca could be tricky. Highsec courier services have come under pressure from freighter gankers working for the New Order. Fortunately, Tisiphone knew a guy.

A trustworthy guy.

As luck would have it, just a few minutes after the Orca was handed over to the courier, a new complication arose: Tisiphone discovered an irregularity with the Lainia Tsutola character.

While using the API to peruse Christopherer's and his alt's EVEmails, Tisiphone was stunned to see a communication from none other than DrysonBennington. Two years ago, the notorious Anti-Ganker apparently sent mass EVEmails to freighter and Orca pilots. It seemed innocent enough, but it was sufficient to flag Christopherer's account. An investigation was warranted.

A New Order diplomat was assigned to the case.

Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet was able to mediate a settlement that involved Lainia transferring additional isk and, for some reason, joining TheInternet's own corporation.

As for the courier pilot, his perfect record didn't hold up as he encountered unexpected difficulty completing the Orca courier contract. As a result, Tisiphone was unable to give Christopherer his PLEX back. But everything worked out in the end: The contract required zero collateral, and the courier was able to keep the Orca to nurse his wounded pride. Highsec shone brightly that day.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Mining Rots Your Brain

There are so many different ways to enforce the Code in highsec. Our Agents are constantly developing and refining new methods.

Agent Alt 00, for example, is a master of quoting MinerBumping posts and then using ganks as an exclamation point.

Our Agent made a surprise inspection of the Tarta system, which is located in the Genesis region. The place was quickly whipped into shape.

It's pretty tough for a miner to claim ignorance these days. If the local window in your system looked like this, wouldn't you know that you needed to do something?

Miner Thyr Tarse piped up to voice what looked like some sort of complaint. Our Agent knew just what he needed.

Thyr should've transferred 10 million isk to Alt 00's account. Obviously, something had gone wrong here.

...But it took time for our Agent to realize just how wrong.

Alt 00 was alarmed. She offered to give the miner any assistance he may have needed, but only more confusion followed.

Our Agent diagnosed the miner's ills. It was a case of chronic bot-aspirancy. In layman's terms, too much mining rots your brain.

Local chat steadily filled with line after line of nonsense. Some of what Thyr said appeared to be related in some way to the Code, but there was also plenty of disconnected gibberish.

Alt 00 stepped away to see if she could summon reinforcements.

Alt 00 resumed ganking as nearby Agents arrived in the system. The bot-aspirant miner was somewhat responsive, but still malfunctioning.

Sadly, the miner couldn't be reached. Not this time, anyway. Alt 00's patrol was ending, so she asked Agent Malon Kreed to check on the system while she was away. A few hours later, Malon returned to see if Thyr had calmed down.

To his astonishment, Malon discovered that Thyr hadn't stopped talking--apparently to himself.

Normally, one would expect that a jolt of emergent gameplay might be enough to shock a miner out of his bot-aspirant routines. Thyr Tarse has been ganked a number of times, with no result. There is little hope for a miner in this condition. But in the New Order of Highsec, a little hope is hope enough. As the Order's motto states: No miner left behind.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

The Wise Man in Local, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Aaaarrgg brought the Bahromab system to life by destroying one of its unnecessary Retrievers. An intense discussion followed--led, naturally, by Aaaarrgg; our Agents are all natural leaders. A controversy developed when Alastra Starlaa accused Aaaarrgg of trying to scramble her ship.
Alastra Starlaa > and of course you are denying it because it was against code
Aaaarrgg > and shooting you is definately in the Code :)
Alastra Starlaa > no i'm not a bot or an afk miner
Aaaarrgg > but you are dismissing the Code a serious offence
Aaaarrgg >
Aaaarrgg > and you can see i never scrammed you
In one fell swoop, Aaaarrgg corrected Alastra's misunderstandings about both the Code and what had happened.
Alastra Starlaa > there where two of you could have been your alt
Aaaarrgg > Kill: Sir Darkan (Retriever) only 1 shot
Alastra Starlaa > yeah but you had a second ship
Alastra Starlaa > where do i find my log?
Aaaarrgg > neocom menu top left
Aaaarrgg > accesories
Aaaarrgg > log and messages
The miner clung to the possibility that our Agent was a liar and that she hadn't made a mistake. But even she knew that Aaaarrgg was her best source of information about the game. Our Agent took time from his busy schedule to help the miner learn.
Alastra Starlaa > ty
Alastra Starlaa > ah my apologies, for some reason your warp scramble attempt on sir darkan flashed up on my screen so i thought it was an attempt on me
Alastra Starlaa > i didn't realise scramble attempts on other people would appear on my screen
Aaaarrgg > yeah it shows up for everyone , many a ship has panicked when they see that and shot "back" :)
The miner finally admitted her mistake, apologizing instead of ranting about Hitler. Maybe she really was new to mining after all.
Alastra Starlaa > well i'm sorry i accused you of doing something you didnt aaarrg
Aaaarrgg > np we learn something every day :)
Aaaarrgg > im always learning new things even after 9 years
Sparkle Sauce > psshh dont apologies to him, its not like he's adding valuable content to the game or of any worth
The heartwarming scene was interrupted by the grumblings of a local rebel.
Aaaarrgg > well "content" read local
Sparkle Sauce > i dont care if bots mine the ore or people mine the ore so long as the pvp engine keeps turning i'm happy
Aaaarrgg > if i wasnt here what would local look like
Sparkle Sauce > look much the same as it does right now m8
Aaaarrgg > usually dead
Sparkle Sauce > your not in low sec, your not putting a ship out there to be shot, you arent adding content
The representative of the anti-Code viewpoint expressed his approval of botting--a distressingly common sentiment these days.
Aaaarrgg > of course im not in low sec. this is Highsec, the Sovereign space of James315 :)
Aaaarrgg > and lots of folk shoot my ships
Sparkle Sauce > pshh
Sparkle Sauce > james doesnt log on or contribute to the game he can fuck off too
Aaaarrgg > "Without exaggeration, the Code has brought more content into EVE in the last few years than all of the CCP devs combined." James315
Sparkle Sauce > yeah so he says about himself
Sparkle Sauce > when someoene other than him says that it might mean something
Aaaarrgg > i think he has made more content than anyone else
The CODE always wins--always--even when rebels try to set the victory conditions. Sparkle challenged Aaaarrgg to find someone who agreed with me that the Code has generated more content than CCP for the past few years. Aaaarrgg easily found one: himself.
Sparkle Sauce > band of brothers generated thousands of times more content than him
Sparkle Sauce > you are just the same old suicide gankers that have always hid in high sec shooting stationary targets because you refuse to risk failing at something
Aaaarrgg > what like sitting on a gate in low sec and popping everything that comes through :)
Aaaarrgg > sounds boring and risk free
Apparently unaware that Band of Brothers hasn't existed for the past several years, Sparkle suggested that the discredited alliance of cheaters generated more content. Aaaarrgg smiled and easily disposed of Sparkle's nonsense about elite lowsec PvP.
Ferdiad Silver > i dont feel any kind of way about code, i mine in a skiff when i am going to mine
Aaaarrgg > Code. wins \o/ again
Ferdiad Silver > dont get me wrong i dont have any desire to be code compliant either
Ferdiad Silver > i've just been around long enough to know suicide gankers gonna gank so you mine in a skiff
Ferdiad Silver > infact code make spotting the gankers easier because you can just set the whole alliance to negative standing at once
Aaaarrgg > and if you set us red and dock when we appear you are clearly not afk \o/
Meanwhile, Aaaarrgg encouraged a miner by showing him how much he'd already been reshaped by the power of the Code. Our influence is so pervasive than often miners aren't even aware of how much we've caused them to change (that is, improve) their lifestyle.
Ferdiad Silver > how do you guys keep affording the ships you lose though
Sparkle Sauce > the alliance pays for them
Sparkle Sauce > they dont work for anything
Aaaarrgg > if you are poor James replaces them
Aaaarrgg > but loot drops pays for my ships
Sparkle Sauce > loot drops from miners there is no way that keeps you in ships
When miners start talking to an Agent of the New Order--really talking, not just ranting--it's hard for them to stop. They're shy about admitting it, but they're all possessed of an insatiable curiosity about the New Order. We're highsec's celebrities, after all.
Sparkle Sauce > i dont imagine you pop many t2 mining barges or mining barges with t2 rigs
Aaaarrgg > true , ive only killed 460 exhumers with Aaaarrgg :(
Aaaarrgg >
Sparkle Sauce > can you doctor those zkillboards because that doesnt look real
The elite lowsec PvP'er unintentionally admitted the New Order's supremacy. He was so impressed by Aaaarrgg's killboard stats that he couldn't believe they were real.
Aaaarrgg > the last one
Sparkle Sauce > why would anyone fit a ship like that, its just silly
Aaaarrgg > i gave up trying to understand carebears and their fits years ago, often i try to help with their fits
Aaaarrgg > but they rarely listen
Ferdiad Silver > i have to agree with you there
When an Agent of the New Order speaks, people listen. If they listen long enough, they can't help but be persuaded.
Igua naught > haha why are we still talking about code, i thought that was last year
Aaaarrgg > Code or the Code was actually started 4 years ago and still going strong
Igua naught > well ciao i'm off to amar, enjoy getting sucked in by the suicide gankers, rember they crave attention, feed the space trolls at your own risk
Sparkle Sauce > dude i'm bored and i'll do what i like, fuck off
The Code inspires harmony, even among people who make their start in EVE from very different places. By contrast, anti-Code players tend to clash with each other, no matter how much they have in common.
Ferdiad Silver > this ones a real charmer
Ferdiad Silver > ok aargh i have another real question if you dont mind
Aaaarrgg > sure
Ferdiad Silver > dont you worry about the effect your ganking these ships has on new players that dont really understand, they just know that someone "bad" is in system blowing up other peoples ships and so stay in station and eventually stop subscribing, or maybe even
Ferdiad Silver > never get beyond their trial accounts?
Aaaarrgg settled comfortably into his seat at the top of the mountain and answered questions from the masses.
Aaaarrgg > most folk i kill are many years old
Ferdiad Silver > we all know it happens and yes there is the argument that this is eve, not for the faint at heart, but if we dont recruit aswell as retain players the game will die
Aaaarrgg > if you cant handle a ship loss you will quit sooner or later
Aaaarrgg > telling folk to stay docked rather than try to stay alive
Aaaarrgg > which is the fun part if you ask me
Ferdiad Silver > yeah
Ferdiad Silver > i agree there
As much as a miner may detest the Code, there's no denying its wisdom.
Ferdiad Silver > but i think code could if unchecked cause harm to the game
Ferdiad Silver > there needs to be a balance
Ferdiad Silver > and code needs to police itself
Aaaarrgg > well according to AG we have no affect on the game :)
Ferdiad Silver > sorry who is ag?
Aaaarrgg > Anti Ganking , and lol i will quote you there :)
Ferdiad Silver > i have never heard of them and i've been playing a while
If MinerBumping posts were accompanied by sound effects, some kind of *womp womp* would play here.
Aaaarrgg > join anti-ganking chat channel then lol
Ferdiad Silver > thats obsurd you cant stop ganking
Ferdiad Silver > its over and done in a flash, there is nothing that can be done to prevent it, thats why the pvp players look down on you guys
Aaaarrgg > so killing people isnt PVP
Aaaarrgg > would you rather i got 500 friends and went to null and blobbed something
Aaaarrgg > i dont see any difference from ganking and a null blob or camping a gate in low
Ferdiad Silver > i think thats a philosphical question
The last bastion of carebearism is the belief that killing a ship in 0.4 is elite PvP but doing the same thing in 0.5 is harassment. It's the belief that a miner or mission runner can't shoot back, but someone who jumps into a gatecamp gets a fair fight. Once the mind has been freed from the shackles of that mindset, all further philosophical resistance to the Code ceases.
Alastra Starlaa > oh good he's gone
Sparkle Sauce > probably not far but dont let him scare you from playing newbro, him attacking you will be way more exciting for you than it is for him
Alastra Starlaa > :( ok
Alastra Starlaa > but i cant afford to lose loads of ships its tough to make money early on
Ferdiad Silver > its alright the corp will look after you
Agent Aaaarrgg left the Bahromab system better than he'd found it. It continued to show some signs of life, the main evidence being further discussion about who else but Aaaarrgg. It's a familiar pattern. In highsec, there is no life or content but that which the Code provides.

Monday, June 27, 2016

The Wise Man in Local, Part 1

CCP has admitted that the best content in EVE is the content made by the players themselves. And nobody makes better content than the New Order of Highsec.
EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Bahromab
Aaaarrgg > gf
Alastra Starlaa > Aaaarrgg according to code you are obliged to challenge a miner with a message before ganking
Aaaarrgg > read again
Aaaarrgg > everyone should be aware of the Code by now
Content arrived in the Bahromab system when Agent Aaaarrgg engaged in elite PvP with an enemy Retriever piloted by Sir Darkan. The miner was vanquished. In an instant, the system came to life.
Alastra Starlaa > also your whole ethos is about punishing afk play not ganking people for giggles,
Aaaarrgg > well i entered local, he didnt dock
Aaaarrgg > no wave
Aaaarrgg > totally afk, pod sat there for ages
Alastra Starlaa > code has fallen a long way from what it was supposed to be because of pilots like you that hide behind it
Once upon a time, it was fashionable for miners to deny the existence of the Code. Then the space lawyers came along and declared that although the Code existed, it was a violation of the EULA. Now the space lawyers argue with Agents on the Code's terms.
Baron Ayol > sad
Baron Ayol > pathetic
Aaaarrgg > oh boy the miners are revolting today :)
Alastra Starlaa > i'm not a miner i'm just doing a mission
Alastra Starlaa > i'm a newbro looking to get into real pvp
Aaaarrgg > well shoot someone
The self-proclaimed "newbro", whose character as indeed only a few days old, lamented the fact that Agents do not follow the Code. Alastra also claimed that the New Order isn't as principled as it used to be. When this line of argument first appeared, I asked where all of those nostalgic supporters were during the early days of the Code. Now we know--they weren't playing EVE yet.
Aaaarrgg > but id suggest you actually read minerbumping and see what James315 actually says
Alastra Starlaa > yeah i read it
Alastra Starlaa > and it contradicts itself
Aaaarrgg > in that case if i were you i would mail James with your critique of the Code
Alastra Starlaa > i did he is never online
Another complaint I see these days: Rebels and skeptics are disappointed that I'm never online. But thanks to the watchlist nerf--which predates Alastra--how could they know when I'm online? Regardless, you can always find me in highsec. Wherever my Agents are doing my work, there I am also.
Aaaarrgg > talking about contradictions
Aaaarrgg > you are a newbro
Aaaarrgg > and talking about the code like you know it for a while :)
Aaaarrgg > which is it
Alastra Starlaa > everyone knows about the code its one of the first things people warn eachother about
And with that single comment, Alastra Starlaa condemned countless newbies who claim ignorance as an excuse for disobeying the Code. At the same time, Alastra dealt a mortal blow to the rebels and skeptics who deny the New Order's relevance. New players who haven't yet learned of the existence of The Mittani or Pandemic Legion are studying the Code. We are the biggest thing in EVE right now. To think that people say EVE is dying--it sounds like the game is thriving!
Alastra Starlaa > but also some people read about games before they get into them or watch youtube channels
Alastra Starlaa > i got into eve by watching wingspanTT
Aaaarrgg > so everybody knows about the Code :)
Aaaarrgg > \o/
Aaaarrgg > AG usually claim Code are irrelevant, now you change your tack
Aaaarrgg took a moment to bask in the glory of the Code's victory. Our Agents win victories even during their aggression timers.
Alastra Starlaa > but noone believes you are doing it for the good of the game
Aaaarrgg > we believe we do :)
Alastra Starlaa > code is irrelevant in one respect, people will suicide gank wether they try to justify it with the "code" is irrelevant
Alastra Starlaa > all the code means is gankers are less honest
As long as we're busting myths, how about another one? People say that ganking would continue even if the Code didn't exist. Actually, CCP's own report at the end of 2012 stated that following their nerfs to ganking, miner ganking was at an all-time low (see toward the bottom of page 104). Then the New Order created its army of Knights. Today, we're the first thing every player learns about. We single-handedly resurrected the practice of miner ganking. Another reason to thank your New Order content creators.
Aaaarrgg > well since you are a newbro, you dont remember eve 4 years ago
Aaaarrgg > every belt in highsec strip mined completely within a few hours of DT by flocks of bot miners in cargo fit hulks
Aaaarrgg > that doesnt happen anymore, the belts are full \o/
Sparkle Sauce > i remember eve 4 years ago
Sparkle Sauce > yeah thats an exageration
Aaaarrgg > not really
Sparkle Sauce > it was never as bad as that
Because of the presence of a single New Order Agent, Bahromab local evolved. Its silence, having been broken, gave way to a fruitful conversation. Naturally, our Agent was at the center of it all, enthroned by the carebears' attention.
Aaaarrgg > go back on the forums
Aaaarrgg > and read all the threads on the lack of ore
Sparkle Sauce > i've read the threads but i was playing then and i never had any problem finding ore
Sparkle Sauce > so the threads exagerat, it was just a few people bitching about their systems and assuming it was the state of the game
Alastra Starlaa > i dont know why you cant just admit you do it because you like being destructive, there is no shame in it
Aaaarrgg > why would i when Highsec still needs saved from the bots getting a toehold again
Our hero made the best possible use of his 15-minute timer. He taught the miners about EVE history and the Code. Even those who disagreed with the Code found a reason to remain at their keyboards.
Aaaarrgg > well those few folk made threads everyday for a couple of years
Sparkle Sauce > yeah but there is a certain kind of person who makes bitchty threads on forums if you follow me
Alastra Starlaa > you arent targeting bots
Alastra Starlaa > you are targeting soft targets for fun
Alastra Starlaa > otherwise you wouldnt have attempted to scramble me
Aaaarrgg > when was that
Then Alastra made a solemn accusation against our Agent. She charged Aaaarrgg with attempted ganking.
Alastra Starlaa > thats why i even bothered calling you on your bullshit normally i just ignore code pilots when i see them ganking they arent relevant to my playstyle
Alastra Starlaa > you did it a moment ago on the belt
Aaaarrgg > the retriever ?
Alastra Starlaa > no you tried to scramble my little mining frigate
Believing her own ship was under attack during the Retriever gank, Alastra had fled from the asteroid belt in her Venture. Wait a minute--didn't Alastra say earlier that she wasn't a miner? Typical. I wish I had 10 million isk for every time I heard that one.
Aaaarrgg > nope
Aaaarrgg > dont even have them on overview
Alastra Starlaa > i got a white message on my screen saying scramble attempt failed
Alastra Starlaa > so dont even try it
Aaaarrgg > post it in local
Alastra Starlaa > i didn't screen shot it
Alastra Starlaa > those little white messages are there and gone
Alastra Starlaa > and of course you are denying it because it was against code
Next, the miner accused Aaaarrgg of lying. She believed he was trying to cover up his warp scramble attempt. Aaaarrgg scrolled through his log.

Our hero was telling the truth. Only the Retriever had been scrambled. Alastra's Venture was never attacked at all. Aaaarrgg posted a screenshot of the log and made it available to everyone in Bahromab local. Faced with this undeniable evidence, would the "newbro" admit she was wrong?

To be continued...

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Kills of the Week

The Code has been with us for four years. Now we can't imagine what we'd do without it. The Code pervades every aspect of highsec life. Mining, hauling, autopiloting, ratting, running incursions... All must be done in a manner strictly compliant with the Code--if they're to be done at all. Woe to those who would ignore the Code, such as these individuals from the week of June 19th @ 00:00 EVEtime through June 25th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

james tagueule was filled with anger when he witnessed Agent ComedianII destroying unlicensed Mobile Tractor Units, including a 193 million isk 'Packrat' MTU. ComedianII went suspect when he fired upon the MTU. james tagueule thought his Raven Navy Issue and the ratting ships of his friends would have no trouble defeating our Agent's Rattlesnake. Two things went wrong for the ratter:

1. The other ratters ran away, leaving their "friend" to hold the bag.
2. The CODE always wins. Always.

The owner of the Packrat MTU was piloting a battleship. He didn't bother to assist the guy who tried to defend his MTU, but he at least left some tears in local.

A question for the rebels and skeptics: Does a fully armed battleship qualify as a "ship that can't shoot back" if its guns can't fire because it's warping away from the fight?

If he's an educated man (that is, a MinerBumping reader), sibuna praim knows that ORE Strip Miners are forbidden in highsec under the Code. His Mackinaw equipped some ORE Ice Harvesters instead, along with some expensive ice yield upgrades. These modules are all against the Code, too. Agents Plasma Death, Aini Flowerchild, Liek DarZ, Alt 00, and Alt Proxy enforced the law of highsec by destroying the Mackinaw and its half a billion isk pod. In a display of impotent rage, sibuna returned with an Oracle, which was also promptly destroyed. Following the Code is a lot easier than people like sibuna make it look.

Codyr Sigma was the latest to fall victim to "Operation Sansha's Little Helpers", which has slaughtered numerous incursion runners in recent weeks. Among other blingy ships killed this week was Codyr's 2.6 billion isk Vindicator. Agents Ranged Enigma, Kirra Tarren, Miner Collier, Shielddude Logiguy, Roggo Tarren, Tsylatac, and Rettamitna proved once again that incursion runners may be the most arrogant of highsec's carebears, but their wealth is meaningless without the Code.

Lokar Griman managed to concoct a billion isk fail-fit Legion. By contrast, Agents Kev The Ostrich, Kevin Gaudi, Kevin Atkinson, and Kevin TheOstrich Sarain went into battle with a quartet of reasonably priced Catalysts. Guess who won? After the battle, Kev The Ostrich "attempted to interview" Lokar to learn the secrets of his Legion fit. Sadly, he was AFK and couldn't respond. Is it possible to fit a ship while AFK? It would explain a lot.

Apophis Kouvo apparently had a lot of money to burn, so he went to Niarja, graveyard of freighters. CCP gave him many fitting options, and he chose almost every module except the one that could increase his EHP. Agents Logical Fallacy, Prixm Wind, Hayley, Yvain Bluewater, Nin Rin, Justin Kusion, Turkey Baster, Jayson Kusion, Bratok Srayona, dAbOsSlAdY77, Jake Kusion, Pivke Anneto, Miner Compliance Officer, Ampelius Loukianos, Logical Fatality, Urziel TheGunner, Unwarranted Assumption, Lego Edd, Jayden Kusion, tenshot Kanjus, Jackson Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Collateralized Contracts, Perlo Tissant, Joseph Kusion, Alicia Adler, Joshua Kusion, Pika Pew, Jet Set Milly, Justinian Langlious, and Xandora Assassin blasted the freighter and collected their reward: 3.3 billion isk of loot and the satisfaction of knowing they'd done some good in the world.

mrpleco was defeated in a fair fight with New Order forces, losing a 272 million isk Cynabal. Agent Luna Nightblood snatched up the pod, which was worth 2.4 billion isk.

It's too bad Jita doesn't sell common sense.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Kneecaps, Hands, Gut

Our Agents are absolutely committed to creating a better highsec. They're not interested in doing things halfway. When it comes to the Code, they're all-in.

You see that? "I woke up to do some Code enforcement." That's commitment.

Agent Myevil Gankalt is one of many who use the art of ganking to paint highsec in bright colors. You'd think the rebel miners would pay attention when an Agent enters local, but no. The bot-aspirants aren't even enthusiastic about bot-aspirancy.

Despite being aware of our Agent's presence in local--and having already seen her scout alt creep up to them--the miners lazily chewed on their rocks. Gemini Astrix lost a yield-fit Covetor and a pod. The pod didn't contain implants, though, so no big deal. How upset could someone be about losing a 35 million isk ship?

Remember, these are miners we're talking about.

...Highsec miners.

For a bunch of sluggish barge pilots, miners can pivot surprisingly fast when it comes to conversation. Within seconds, Gemini switched from "Nigger faggot" to "Oh, won't someone protect the newbies and CCP's subscription revenues!" right back to "Cut your wrist, nigger." It's enough to make you wonder how sincere the miners' concerns really are about CCP's financial health.

Gemini's argument was shot down as quickly as his Covetor.

Is it weird that when reading this chatlog, my first thought was, "Do people really shoot each other in the hands?" Maybe four years of highsec has desensitized me to some of this nonsense.

Myevil Gankalt carefully read between the lines and concluded that Gemini wasn't satisfied with living under New Order rule. Perhaps it was time for a change.

According to the carebear apologists, the only reason people like Gemini say these things is because our Agents provoke them. Who wouldn't behave this way after losing 35 million isk, right? And being told to buy a mining permit for 10 million isk. No wonder!

If you've been playing EVE for five years and you "have no chance of fighting back," the problem isn't with our Agents. It's with you.

Agent Myevil reported,
"At the conversation's close, I pointed out that forgiveness is freely offered to those of a contrite heart. Smitten by his convictions and understanding the enormity of his crime, he terminated our chat. I will always wonder what might have been if he had been more receptive to the truth."
It was a great "What if?" moment. But I think it's safe to say Gemini Astrix would've been better off if he'd embraced the Code.