Monday, July 22, 2019

Contract Killer, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... Maja Papaja paid Agent Alt 00 a billion isk to execute a gank on a specific target. Alt 00 accepted the isk, assembled a gank fleet, and prepared to carry out the contract. However, it came to light that Maja did not own a mining permit. Our Agent raced to salvage her agreement with Maja.

Agent Revis Owen to the rescue: A very attractive deal was worked out. Agent Alt would honour the contract with Maja, provided that Maja purchased a permit for 10 million isk. It was an incredibly generous arrangement, as the permit purchase would be applied retroactively.

Somewhat bizarrely, Maja seemed to be entertaining the notion of turning down the deal. She risked losing her 1 billion isk for the sake of a mere 10 million. What was going on?

Agent Revis was incredulous. The permit would cost 1% of what Maja had already handed over.

Even so, plenty of carebears have lost plenty of isk in the name of "principle". Revis hoped that Maja wouldn't end up like one of them.

Perhaps Maja was afraid of throwing good money after bad. Then again, the "pot odds" were 100 to 1. If there was even a 1% chance that buying a permit would save her contract with Alt, it would be well worth it to pay.

Revis and Alt 00 found the miner's attitude baffling. An Agent's word is as good as it gets. Their offer of a permit for 10 million was basically free money.

Maja had 7 years to buy a permit, and she'd frittered them all away. But now she had a second chance.

Stunningly, Maja was unwilling to buy a permit. Could the deal be saved by a loophole? After all, Alt 00 had already been paid 1 billion--far in excess of the 10 million required.

No, a billion isk merc contract does not equal permit ownership; the 10 million isk permit fee stands on its own. It's the same idea when someone wants to buy shares in the New Order in lieu of a permit: 100 million isk will get you 100 shares, or 90 shares and one permit.

Agent Alt 00 grew suspicious. Maja's behavior was irrational--unless there was more going on than met the eye.

In defiance, Maja made a statement that shocked both of the veteran Agents. She'd rather throw her billion away than pay 0.01 isk for a permit!

But the most shocking revelations were those yet to come.

To be continued...

Sunday, July 21, 2019

Kills of the Week

Everyone knows not to put their hand on a hot stove. Similarly, everyone knows--or should know--not to violate the Code. Imagine, then, the foolishness of the bot-aspirant who repeatedly breaks the law despite having his ships ganked by our Code enforcers. We call them Gobloks for a reason! Now let us observe some ship-burnings from the week of July 14th @ 00:00 EVEtime through July 20th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

xuxu xx loaded up a 23.4 billion isk freighter and autopiloted it through Niarja, one of the most famous ganking spots in the galaxy. He couldn't imagine that anyone would punish him for his crime. Yet Agents eviserater Adoudel, Olivia Rackner, Zoe Rackner, Georgia Rackner, Ashlee Rackner, Emily Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Jani Rackner, Jemma Rackner, Yan Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Ivy Rackner, Globby Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, hegils, Adara Gaea, and Phoenix Rackner were standing by with a fleet of Taloses, stealth bombers, and Catalysts. What did xuxu think those ships were for?

A word of warning to carebears like twentyafter: The Uedama neighborhood is getting a good scrubbing these days, courtesy of the First Family of Uedama. You know who I'm talking about. Agents Joseph Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jason Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jayden Kusion, and Caution AsianDrivers Ahead took flight and helped themselves to a few billion isk in confiscated loot.

Vasilisa KOTOFF avoided Uedama and took a nice, AFK trip through Niarja. Guess what? The Kusions were there, too. Unlike carebears, our Agents know their way around highsec. This time, Agents Jayson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Josh Kusion, and Josiah Kusion brought 20 Taloses to the party. Do the bot-aspirants think they're fooling anyone when they try to hide behind hitpoints?

In case you hadn't guessed by now, the blingy haulers took quite a beating this week. John Frikiry, too, fell to a Kusion fleet. Local-less nullsec isn't the only place where stealth bombers go to play these days. Agents Jayden Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jason Kusion, and Caution AsianDrivers Ahead dropped a pile of Hounds on John Frikiry's 14 billion isk freighter--along with the usual Catalysts, of course.

If you're going to fit a ship like Rawr Paaltomo did, don't bother undocking. And certainly don't AFK autopilot into Uedama. This "Rawr" fellow should've simply donated a few billion isk to Agents Jayden Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Joseph Kusion, and Joshua Kusion. Would've saved him a trip.

Apparently Buki Sendai Ni didn't appreciate all the work that CCP put into helping highsec miners tank up their ships. In addition to enabling Mackinaws to sport a shield tank--or anything in the midslots--CCP gave them a voluminous, built-in ore storage compartment. In theory, said ore hold allows miners to happily AFK mine without needing to sacrifice tank in favor of cargo expanders. Yet Buki spent 300 million isk on an ORE cargo expander. Agents Shadow Cyrilus, Shadow Pearl, Overmind Niminen, and Lyle Aubaris went forth to defend CCP's honour by ganking the ungrateful miner. In so doing, they helped to improve the chances of retaining the miner's subscription. Well done, Agents.

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #188

Some people play EVE to escape reality. That's fine--people escape reality all the time. However...

...No one can escape the Code. Welcome to another edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

Our Agents were curious about Lord Keith Tivianne's decision to mine without a permit. He was an expert at changing the subject, but our Agents aren't easily distracted.

Agent Lewak name-dropped the Saviour of Highsec. Would the miner out himself as a Goofus?

"Shitty hell face"?


Some say that new players should never be ganked. How do "new players" really react to being ganked? Let's find out:

Ganking improves player retention because it introduces players to PvP. Imagine the horrors of abandoning an innocent newbie to EVE's PvE "content". That's what makes them quit.

On the other hand, bad players react badly--even to being ganked.

In fact, bad players get angry when they see someone else playing well. It's as if bad players avoid fun and hate to see others having fun. Anti-Code is anti-fun.

I guess another 60-man fleet got lost on the way to highsec.

The New Order doesn't merely "pretend that something can"; we know that something can. The Code makes it possible!

It looks like someone took a long break from EVE and recently returned. FYI, mining permits are still being sold for just 10 million isk.

Friday, July 19, 2019

Contract Killer, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Maja Papaja made Agent Alt 00 an indecent proposal: Maja would pay her a billion isk to wipe out a target of Maja's choice. Everything was going according to Maja's plan--until a snag was hit.

Maja paid the billion isk fee, and Agent Alt stood poised to deliver a death blow upon Maja's enemy. And just as soon as one more task was completed, the deed would be done.

Alt 00 was getting ready to strike when Maja made a strange comment about maybe not owning a New Order mining permit.

Our Agent was puzzled. Why would a Code violator attempt to do business with a Code enforcer? That would be like going to a police station to make a sales call when there's a warrant out for your arrest.

Thanks to Maja's curious remarks, the conversation became strained and awkward. Alt 00 sent her Caracal gank fleet back to port so that she could give Maja her full attention.

Alt 00 offered the unlicensed carebear a mining permit for the low, low price of 10 million isk. Yet it seemed that the whole "Code" thing was not to Maja's taste. Alt tested Maja further by linking the name of the Saviour of Highsec.

Maja responded to the Saviour's name like a vampire to garlic.

In case you were curious, this is the portrait that Alt 00 linked. I recommend clicking the link to view the full-size version, as there are many exquisite details.

Maja balked at paying our Agent 10 million isk, even though she had just transferred one hundred times that amount only a few moments earlier.

Agent Revis Owen dropped in, and not a moment too soon: Maja's targets were still hanging around the area, but who knew for how long?

There was little doubt that Maja was in violation of the Code, but Alt 00 was very mindful of the fact that she had a billion isk of Maja's money sitting in her wallet. Perhaps Agent Revis could find a way to ensure that all parties would be satisfied.

Luckily for Maja, our Agents are EVE's greatest problem solvers.

To be continued...

Thursday, July 18, 2019

Over One Trillion Eight Hundred Sixty-Three Billion in Shares Sold

Today, another tale of two Supreme Protector's Tips of the Hat™.

Our first Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ goes to Priscilla Pareka, who added to her holdings of New Order stock by purchasing 1,000 shares. This guaranteed that we would pass another billion isk mark; in this case, the 1,862 billion isk mark. Priscilla therefore also guaranteed herself a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™, which she now receives.

Then there's Scarlet Macaw Salvage and Transport, our newest corporate shareholder. The corp made a humble purchase of just 30 shares. However, this purchase very narrowly nudged us past the 1,863 billion isk mark. Thus, Scarlet Macaw earns a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™, too--one no less valid than Priscilla's.

There's a lot to ponder there, eh?


New Eden Mining Authority, a member corp of the mighty CODE. alliance, frequently enforces the Code in highsec by ganking unlicensed miners.

Stoneweight was ganked for non-compliance in Halaima itself, losing a Hulk and a 43 million isk pod in the process. Although Stoneweight has been in EVE since 2008, some critics might accuse our Agents of bullying an impoverished newbie and making his EVE experience worse.

Not so fast. Two days later, Stoneweight returned to his keyboard and sent an EVEmail to Aiko Danuja, who wasn't a participant on the gank:

Stoneweight was one happy miner. He sang CODE.'s praises. How can the rebels and skeptics complain about our effect on the game when even ganked miners think we help them?

Upon receiving the EVEmail, Agent Aiko reflected deeply upon her killboard, allegedly the worst that Stoneweight has ever seen. She considered that perhaps Stoneweight had forgotten about his own killboard, so she reminded him of his recent Hulk loss--and got a surprise in return:

As it turns out, the Hulk loss cost Stoneweight and his corp absolutely nothing. Indeed, the miners made tens of billions of isk in profits as a direct result of CODE.'s activities. There you have it, right from the horse's mouth: CODE. is making miners rich, even by ganking them. Who can complain about that?

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Contract Killer, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Maja Papaja had a grudge against one of her fellow anti-Code carebears. Having witnessed the awesome power of the Code in action many times, Maja decided to contact Agent Alt 00 and ask her to be a hired gun.

Things were getting real. Alt 00 unveiled her Caracal gank squad. Maja marveled.

Maja's enemy had a small fleet. Our Agent would select one of the ships for destruction.

The moment of action was quickly approaching. As any Code enforcer knows, ganking requires steady nerves. It soon became clear that Maja wasn't used to experiencing the art of the gank from this side of things.

Alt 00 calmly explained the complex machinery of a ganking operation, step by step.

When hunting carebears--especially a group of them--every second counts. They could move on at any time, without warning. The clock was ticking.

The tension grew. The success or failure of the mission would be determined by what happened in the next few minutes. Everything had to go flawlessly.

At the last second, Maja had an attack of nerves. Luckily for her, an Agent of the New Order was at the helm.

No more time for talk. This thing was going down.

Maja handed over the full payment of 1 billion isk to Alt 00. It would be the best billion she'd ever spent. Time to launch.

...After one minor formality was taken care of, that is.

What do you mean, "start"?

This is Alt 00 we're talking about. She never stopped.

To be continued...