Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Tora Tora Tora, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Zaenis Desef pulled off an intricate, elite surprise attack against a member of PRAMS Industries. The corp's CEO, Moetel Soikutsu, immediately began to lodge complaints in local chat.
Zaenis Desef > How can enforcing laws be piracy?
Moetel Soikutsu > Enforcing whose law? A random guy law? I have not voted for him, nor anyone
Zaenis Desef > He was demorcatically elected
Moetel Soikutsu > Was he elected by majority of players or by majority of "CODE." players? That changes everything.
Zaenis Desef > The vote was held by proxy.
Moetel tried to do the space lawyer routine, but she was several years behind. Our Agent worked mightily to catch her up.
Zaenis Desef > Those who didn't vote had their vote cast by the supreme protector himself. What an honour!
Moetel Soikutsu > Yeah, that's called a dictator.
Moetel Soikutsu > And you do piracy justified by immaginary laws that are not Caldari's ones, which is where you are. In Caldari State.
Zaenis Desef > Caldari laws rate lower that the CODE.
Zaenis Desef > sorry
The highsec mining corp's CEO was confused. Sadly, she missed some important MinerBumping posts like this one from six and a half years ago. The Code is firmly established precedent.
Moetel Soikutsu > For you maybe, but you're not the law.
Moetel Soikutsu > If you were able to declare war to Caldari State and boot them out, then yes, you should be allowed to change the laws at your wish
Moetel Soikutsu > Until then, you have no authorities here.
Zaenis Desef > Kill: Yashiro Yamamoto (Hulk) Kill: Yashiro Yamamoto (Capsule)
Zaenis Desef > These killmails say I do have authority here.
Zaenis had his Catalysts, and Moetel had her words. Oh, and Zaenis also had words of his own, which were better than Moetel's words. Moetel didn't stand a chance.
Moetel Soikutsu > These killmails just say that you do piracy.
Zaenis Desef > I think you're missing the point
Moetel Soikutsu > And asking for a permit in an area where there is no permit needed is called a racket
Moetel Soikutsu > If you want to have your own laws, just get your own territory.
Once again, the miner put her ignorance on full display. The New Order's territory has been clearly delineated in posts like this: Every System in Highsec
Zaenis Desef > The permit is needed. as demonstrated by the killmails i just linked
Moetel Soikutsu > The racket you mean
Zaenis Desef > lol call it what you will
Zaenis Desef > The fact of the matter is that CODE requires it and if you want to lose ships that's up to you.
Moetel Soikutsu > I have another CODE in mind, which says that CODE. members are not allowed in high-sec systems.
Moetel Soikutsu > I'm going to write it.
Eventually, Moetel realized that space lawyering wasn't going to bring her corpmate's ship back. Her mind was filled with thoughts of revenge.
Zaenis Desef > That already exists. they're called anti-gankers... They're not really good at their job though
Zaenis Desef > Maybe you can do it better though
Zaenis Desef > In fact almost anyone can do better than Anti-gankers
Moetel Soikutsu > Well i'm a bit sad
Moetel Soikutsu > I though CODE. were saviors of highsec, killing bots, but they just are pirates :(
...Another rebel movement bites the dust. To be honest, this one lasted longer than most.
Moetel Soikutsu > asking money to people to be "allowed" by their own rules that have no powers here.
Zaenis Desef > We are saving highsec from bots, bot-aspirant behaviour and saving miners from their worst impulses
Moetel Soikutsu > You are not a judge, you are not allowed to say that anyone that haven't paid the "racketed-permit" is a bot-aspirant
Moetel Soikutsu > Laws are here to protect individuals and economy. You just kill people and racket others. Be honest, how many individuals and corps have paid that permit, really?
Moetel Soikutsu > As you destroyed a 200m ship, should I consider that this permit is paid for 20 years?
As usual, the carebear's thoughts turned to isk. She wanted her corpmate to be reimbursed for the loss--in one form or another.
Yashiro Yamamoto > 267 millions exactly ^^
Moetel Soikutsu > 26 years, my bad :'D
Zaenis Desef > You are making my point for me. Had he taken a fraction of what he spent on that ship to pay for his permit he wouldn't be having this problem
Yashiro Yamamoto > but im new i don't now your code o_o
Yashiro Yamamoto > now i know because you don't let me choice...
When the question of amounts of isk entered the conversation, a fellow named Yashiro Yamamoto chimed in for the first time.

Yashiro was the pilot of the Hulk that Zaenis had ganked. Until now, he had not spoken in local. But if reimbursement was in the offing, he wanted to get every bit of money that he could.
Moetel Soikutsu > and last but not least question, if we pay that "permit", you still can assault us for "looks like a bot" behavior, aren't you? So this permit is pointless.
Zaenis Desef > Buying a permit is not where being CODE compliant ends
Zaenis Desef > You enter an agreement with us to become a better person.
Moetel Soikutsu > So you can invoke that behavior for no reason and still say that you're allowed to kill us, just because you want.
Zaenis Desef > CODE compliant miners have nothing to fear from CODE
Moetel continued to put the system on trial. But the system was winning.
Moetel Soikutsu > I think your CODE is a mess and have to be rewritten. There's a lot of incoherences and holes. How a "code" can be okay if any "law enforcer" can adapt it at his will?
Moetel Soikutsu > "oh, today I will bump"... "oh sunday I will gank"... That's not a code, it's seems like a joke atm
Zaenis Desef > LOL
Zaenis Desef > I hope you have a good night!
Zaenis Desef > Praise James!
Our Agent had to cut the conversation short due to the pressing matter of feeling like it. However, there was much more going on beneath the surface--more than would be apparent from reading the logs of local chat.
Yashiro Yamamoto > Yo
Yashiro Yamamoto > can you explain me something ?
Yashiro Yamamoto > im not here for rage it's fine it's the game
Zaenis Desef > Absolutely
Yashiro Yamamoto > ok why you attack ?
You see, while Zaenis was speaking with Yashiro's CEO in local, he had also been holding talks with Yashiro himself in a private convo.
Yashiro Yamamoto > normaly you attack AFK mining ?
Zaenis Desef > You require a mining permit to mine in High security space.
Yashiro Yamamoto > you see my days in game ?
Zaenis Desef > You were in a T2 mining barge.
Yashiro Yamamoto > i know but you can speak with me first ?
Zaenis Desef > Sorry if i don't have sympathy for that
The entire time, Zaenis debated both carebears simultaneously. Like a chess Grandmaster, our Agents are capable of winning against multiple opponents at once.
Yashiro Yamamoto > so i lose 250 millions just for your rules
Zaenis Desef > They are the rules that were set forth by our supreme protector.
Yashiro Yamamoto > ok but im new on eve x)
Yashiro Yamamoto > i don't know before this rules
Zaenis Desef > Welcome!
Yashiro Yamamoto > great
We know that Yashiro's CEO was unable to see reason. Would the owner of the dead Hulk have more sense?

To be continued...

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Tora Tora Tora, Part 1

Most people know that Agent Zaenis Desef is a good, solid dude--a stand-up guy. Someone you can count on. What they may not know is that he's one of the most dangerously elite PvP'ers in EVE today.

One day, Zaenis observed a bot-aspirant mining in highsec. He carefully put together a ganking operation to be carried out by two of his alts. When it comes to ganking, though, there are a million variables to consider. Despite our Agent's meticulous planning, it would be up to fate as to whether his attack would achieve surprise.

It did.

The ganked miner belonged to PRAMS Industries corp. PRAMS Industries is one of countless highsec corps that serve only to discourage new players from leaving highsec or doing anything other than mindless PvE.

Thanks to the carebears' endless whines and appeals to CCP's greed, these highsec prisons have gained immunity from awoxes and wardecs. But they are not immune from suicide ganks.

The miner was AFK, but the gank was witnessed by Moetel Soikutsu, the CEO and CEO of PRAMS Industries. She had done nothing to help her corp member defend himself in life. Now she would fight for him in death.
Moetel Soikutsu > CODE. has changed
Zaenis Desef > how so?
Moetel Soikutsu > Aren't you supposed to attack bots and afk people? Talk to players before attacking?
Moetel Soikutsu > I have read your code.
Moetel protested the gank in local chat. It occurred to Zaenis that she might be a space lawyer of some sort.
Zaenis Desef > Did he have a permit?
Moetel Soikutsu > You are supposed to talk to him so he can invoke the clearance for first time
Zaenis Desef > You are incorrect
Moetel Soikutsu > Link me the code please? :)
Zaenis Desef >
The good thing about space lawyers is that they generally do read the Code--though usually after they come up with their arguments.
Zaenis Desef > He was in violation of the CODE. As a desgnated member of the CODE I exercised my right to relieve him of his ship.
Moetel Soikutsu > " - If a miner does not wish to purchase a mining indulgence, he may still be granted a one-day reprieve, if he is able to correctly answer the Supreme Protector's Questions Three."
Moetel Soikutsu > He haven't had the opportunity to answer a question you haven't asked
What a week for the Questions Three. Referenced in two different MinerBumping posts!
Zaenis Desef > Each agent enforces the CODE as they see fit. James 315, our supreme protector has a softer heart than I. I give them a chance to become CODE compliant after I've relieved them of their ship
Moetel Soikutsu > " Your bot aspirant behaviour has been observed" Can you explain that?
Zaenis Desef > I observed his bot-aspirant behaviour. I don't know how else you'd like me to put that
Moetel Soikutsu > I'm not english native...
Zaenis Desef > Yashiro Yamamoto was acting in a way that appears to be bot like
Agent Zaenis was more than happy to debate with Moetel. He had nothing to hide. He knew it was a good gank.
Zaenis Desef > being greedy and taking more ore than he needs
Zaenis Desef > also #1 bot-aspirant behaviour is mining without a permit.
Moetel Soikutsu > How can you know he mined more ore than he needs? You don't know his needs, are you?
Moetel Soikutsu > can you know*
Zaenis Desef > I DO know he was mining without a permit.
Moetel repeatedly questioned the Agent. It was almost as if she was laying the groundwork for a reimbursement claim.
Moetel Soikutsu > I'm just curious about your criterias, no offense
Zaenis Desef > None taken
Zaenis Desef > In high security space, you are required to have a mining permit. If you don't have one, you are subject to disciplinary action.
Moetel Soikutsu > Have you got a live updated list of permited players?
Zaenis Desef > We have an internal list of our permit holders
As the event unfolded in local chat, it soon became clear that the Agent's testimony was a public relations coup for the New Order. Agent Zaenis came across as an extremely credible witness.
Moetel Soikutsu > If this is tollerated to attack not-permited miners, why does CONCORD strikes you back then?
Zaenis Desef > CONCORD has silly rules about capsuleers attacking each other. We've adapted ways to ignore them
Moetel Soikutsu > Well, that's a silly way to ask for a permit. I never saw a law guy destroying thing before saying that you need a permit. You know, reminder to the law
Zaenis Desef > Ignorace does not exempt you from the law
Moetel got to the meat of the conversation. She was indeed a space lawyer.
Moetel Soikutsu > For blood crimes, yeah
Moetel Soikutsu > and common sense things
Moetel Soikutsu > How can one know he needs a permit to mine?
Moetel Soikutsu > There's no warnings
Zaenis Desef > This is the warning
Unfortunately for the carebear CEO, she hadn't done her homework. If she had, she would've known that her questions were far from original. Zaenis knew exactly where his interrogator was going.
Moetel Soikutsu > Well, and if we still not have permits, there will be another warning? and another? and one more? Only warnings?
Zaenis Desef > We find that this is the best way to let people know that we're serious
Moetel Soikutsu > Serious? Not sure. I believe you just try to have a justification for piracy :/
Zaenis Desef > How can enforcing laws be piracy?
EVE Online is known as a game of secrets and subterfuge. The New Order, on the other hand, is an organization of transparency and light. Our Agent was supremely confident that if he merely told the truth like he always does, the result would be another victory for the Code. However, as I said before, ganking involves a million variables--and fate. And the fate of one EVE player was about to be changed forever.

To be continued...

Monday, July 29, 2019

Contract Killer, Part 9

Previously, on MinerBumping... Maja Papaja finally decided to purchase a mining permit from Agent Alt 00, allowing the Agent to refund Maja's billion isk merc contract fee. But at the last possible moment--just as Alt 00 was reaching into her wallet to give her the isk--Maja self-destructed. Now what?

With her billion isk on the line, Maja panicked, claiming that the Code doesn't get linked enough.

Alt 00 was extremely disappointed in Maja. She had such high hopes for the new permit-owner.

Now Maja feared the worst. Was it time to say goodbye to her isk?

I have no doubt that all of the rebels and skeptics reading this assume that our Agent took the first opportunity to keep the money for herself. But they don't know Alt 00.

In fact, Alt 00 cast about for any possible way to return the isk to Maja. Suddenly, she remembered an obscure provision of the Code.

Far from trying to swindle Maja, our good-hearted Agent was looking for any excuse to give the wayward permit-owner her money back. In an inspired moment, she found one.

To ensure that there could be no possible objection to this procedure--not even from anonymous carebears in the comments--Alt 00 sought agreement from Maja. She consented. What happened next would be unquestionably legitimate.

Alt 00 asked the first of her Questions Three, taking care to phrase the question in such a way that it wouldn't be found in a few seconds with a Google search. This is traditionally done to help miners avoid the temptation to cheat.

Sadly, Maja lacked faith in herself and did not even produce a guess. According to the terms that Maja negotiated, Alt 00 would keep the billion isk.

And with that, the transaction was complete.

One can imagine Mictlantecuhtli, arms folded, staring down a miner who voided her permit by violating the Code.

Disgusted with the fate she'd engineered for herself, Maja defaced the mining permit that she'd purchased and gotten revoked in the same day. Maja's tale should be a lesson to all the carebears of highsec: Let your conduct be always in full compliance with the Code. Anything else belongs to the realm of the Goofus.

Sunday, July 28, 2019

Kills of the Week

Oh, knock it off.

Let's talk about real skill: The elite PvP skill that our Agents show off each and every hour of each and every day. Here's a sample from the week of July 21st @ 00:00 EVEtime through July 27th @ 23:59 EVEtime!

Guardsman224 Ijonen broke a very important rule of etiquette: In highsec, we equip our fittings. Guardman224 put his modules in the cargo bay, tuned out, and went AFK. He was no match for Agents Justin Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joel Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jason Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, and Joshua Kusion, who collected a fine killmail for their trouble.

The blingy DSTs keep on dying. Jill'iam got popped by Agents Votre Dieu, Narl' Amhar, Astrid Tyrfing, and Rungerd. Small group, big alpha damage.

This is, of course, the preferred way to grind structures.

Take a look at Adalameo DiMasham, the former owner of a 677 million isk Mackinaw ganked by Agent Spine Ripper. Notice anything special about the miner? He's a "newbro". Adalameo's character existed for only two days before the gank occurred. If this is what a newbie looks like, I say gank them all.

Abigor Kion managed to lose a Proteus in highsec. Was he ganked while AFK--perhaps by a group of multiboxing gankers?

Not quite. Agent Zaenis Desef triumphed over Abigor in an honourable 1v1.

As the Twitch clip (which may skip forward part of the way due to copyright or whatever) of the battle proves, the mighty CODE. alliance always wins. Even when it's a Porpoise versus a Proteus.

What is there to be said about Black Jags that hasn't been said about countless other unlicensed freighter (auto-)pilots? He was a fool not to obey the Code, and he paid the price for it. Agents Inspector Implant, Bob Painter, Jason Kusion, Jake Kusion, George Painter, Jayden Kusion, big brutor one, Joel Kusion, Bob Mechanic, Jackson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Justin Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Bob Electrician, Jeremiah Kusion, Bob Welder, Dubious Anime Name, Mjolnir Rage Torpedo, big brutor two, Jayson Kusion, big brutor six, Charlie Painter, Nova Rage Torpedo, Dan Painter, Continue Painting, Further Painting, Joshua Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jessie Kusion, and Josiah Kusion deep-sixed the unworthy carebear.

Barni Itovuo lost an 880 million isk Huginn and was podded by Agent Joshua Kusion for an additional 2.5 billion isk loss. But I know what you're really curious about: What's that funny looking implant with the blue tag?

'Twas a webifier implant. Barni's Huginn had five webifiers equipped, after all. Five webifiers and zero permits. Imagine that.

Saturday, July 27, 2019

Contract Killer, Part 8

Previously, on MinerBumping... Maja Papaja's fate in the balance! Agents Alt 00 and Revis Owen threw all of their strength into a last-ditch effort to rescue Maja from her own foolishness and convince her to buy a mining permit. Just when all hope seemed lost, Maja showed signs of caving.

At this critical moment, Agent Revis had to go do something cool in another venue. Would this unexpected development blow up the deal?

No. The CODE always wins. Always!

Maja finally saw the light. She put aside her childish ways and handed 10 million isk to our Agent.

Alt 00 had been hired to launch a strike against a fleet of Maja's enemies. The delays caused by Maja's stubborn refusal to buy a permit had enabled the targets to get away. As a permit-holder, Maja wanted to have her billion isk merc fee refunded. Would our Agent keep her word and return the isk?

The rebels and skeptics no doubt assumed, in reading this report, that Alt 00 would simply keep the isk. "The New Order is full of scammers," they would say. But they obviously don't know Alt 00 very well; she always keeps her promises. With a graceful swoop of her mouse, she navigated the EVE UI and prepared to transfer the isk.


The light of the Code can't help but reveal the truth in all things.

As I said, Alt 00 always keeps her promises...

...And her first promise is to the Code.

At the last possible moment, Maja had ruined everything for herself. Or had she?

The entire experience had been a roller coaster for all parties involved. A thrill ride, if you will. But what happened to Maja next would be something that no one--not even Alt 00 herself--could have anticipated.

To be continued...

Friday, July 26, 2019

But Then You Appeared

Oh, no. Don't tell me--another whiny carebear found his way into highsec?

Paul Jumba was the latest bot-aspirant to disgrace himself in highsec. He was spotted AFK in a 1.0 security system with a frigate full of trash.

Agent Viirilithizu Ward apprehended the unlicensed carebear and brought him to justice. Paul wouldn't react until he returned to his keyboard over 20 minutes later. But whatever he said--whatever manipulations he would attempt--our veteran Agent would be ready.

Paul didn't hesitate to play the "newbie" card. I assume this technique is part of the EVE tutorial these days. If so, it's pretty much the only thing in the tutorial that carebears remember.

Viirilithizu immediately established herself as a force to be reckoned with. She would not be intimidated by the carebear's alleged new player status. Anyone old enough to lose 300 million isk and write a tearmail is old enough to buy a permit.

Paul showed his true colors. His kind tend to react badly when you don't fall for their "helpless newbro" act.

As badly as Paul had played thus far, his game took a sudden turn for the better: A distinguished, elite PvP'er offered to take him under her wing. It's the kind of opportunity every genuine newbie dreams of.

Alas, Paul Jumba was a bot-aspirant. He thought being good at EVE was something that people buy with money.

Unlike Paul, our Agent understood that EVE is not a pay-to-win game. Playing EVE well is something that people get from reading the Code; one might say that EVE is a Code-to-win game.

Paul wasn't interested. Now, at this point, some readers may expect Viirilithizu to insist that Paul must join the mighty CODE. alliance and become a ganker. Some rebels accuse us of being a cult; others say that we force innocent newbies to join us by drafting them like a post-apocalyptic army. But look how our Agent responded:

Viirilithizu was filled with compassion. Her deepest wish was to save the miner from a life of being ganked--and being forced to mine Veldspar for his corporate overlords.

...But some prefer to be oppressed.

Paul Jumba made the conscious decision to be miserable. It's heartbreaking, but the truth is that many EVE players are self-griefers.