Saturday, August 31, 2019

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #191

There are indeed many people committing errors in EVE. You might say that the Code is the spell check of highsec. Welcome to the latest edition of the Grab Bag!

Here we see one of the most common complaints of gank recipients: Now that I've lost my ship, I can't make any more money. In theory, this prevents them from buying a permit.

...Some even claim that they can no longer afford to play EVE at all! In view of this problem, I have decided to do something special for this edition of the Grab Bag: I will randomly select a worthy miner to reimburse. All the miner needs to do is present a claim for reimbursement and not say something obviously treasonous to disqualify himself. Ready?

To be sure, Space CowboyTX is a bit rough around the edges. But since he has vowed to tank his ships better in the future, I am pleased. Now to reach for my wallet...

Sigh. So close, so close.

Many highsec miners migrated from EVE's Chinese server. Yet they have already acculturated.

Despite the language barrier, Chinese miners are capable of adapting classic miner clich├ęs like the "powerful friends in nullsec" bit.

Bot-aspirancy speaks with a universal language--and so does the gank.

Agent Lewak is known for his superb timing. You can mine all day while allegedly at your keyboard, but the moment you leave to "deal with a dog", Lewak and his friends will appear.

If you step away to make some coffee? Lewak will be there.

A few seconds to put down a dish? BAM! There's Lewak. The lesson, of course, is to dock up before you go AFK. Fascinating notion, right?

Redrick Ellivradec admits that he was once consumed by bot-aspirancy. For his most shocking confession, read on:


This is, I believe, the first confession we have received from someone who created his own bot program. Some would say that such people are the worst of the worst. Yet even they are not beyond reason. If CCP truly wants to combat the problem of botting in EVE, here's the answer: Require every new player to read the Code.

Friday, August 30, 2019

William's Rage, Part 6

Previously, on MinerBumping... Highsec firebrand William Rageclaw caused a revolt to break out in the Nakugard system, where Agent Alt 00 had been governing according to the Code. When William's Kikimora destroyed one of Alt's gank Coercers, it emboldened the rebellious miners.

Orca miner Cheval de Travail was thoroughly subdued by the bumping prowess of our Agent's Machariel. However, Cheval refused to buy a permit so long as there was hope of a successful anti-Code resistance movement.

Agent Alt 00 recognized that William was the source of Nakugard's ills. If she could defeat him, then the system might yet be saved.

Alt 00 devised a bold strategy: She invited the rebel to speak with some of her fellow Agents in the MinerBumping channel.

Nakugard local chat was given a respite while the debate about the Code moved forward in a more relaxed environment.

The Agents of the New Order put aside any biases they may have had; they were there to hear William out in an objective and nonjudgmental way.

...And objectively, nonjudgmentally, William was wrong about the Code.

After carefully weighing everything, the Agents were able to correctly determine that the Code was right and that William should absolutely comply with it.

But there was another reason why Alt 00 was interested in having this conversation take place...

...Distraction. As William was conferring with the Agents, Alt 00 launched a devastating attack against William's prized Kikimora.

Alt 00's skill during the battle was exceeded only by her sportsmanship after it concluded. William vowed revenge.

Regardless of William's dreams of retaliation, the truth was that the battle had been decisive. No longer would William be in a position to interfere with Alt 00's ganks. Nakugard was wide open.

Our Agent's victory was complete. But an Agent of the New Order is never satisfied by just one victory.

Alt 00 was determined not only to rescue the Nakugard system, but to rescue William himself.

To be continued...

Thursday, August 29, 2019

Over One Trillion Eight Hundred Sixty-Seven Billion in Shares Sold

Another big week for the New Order--let's get to it.

We begin with William Rageclaw, whose name might have a familiar ring to some readers. William purchased several blocks of shares, totaling 1,566 in all, and sent us over the 1,866 billion isk mark. William earns a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ for his efforts to support the Code in this manner.

At just the right moment, Aiko Danuja increased her own holdings with a purchase of 100 additional shares. This had the effect of sending us past the 1,867 billion isk mark and earning Aiko a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. Wonderful!


On rare occasions, a miner who owns a permit may nevertheless be the recipient of a gank. Each of these cases is carefully investigated.

Blunder Dust Abre-Kai lost her Retriever when it was ganked by Agents Mal Warre and Fury al-Shabazz. At the time, she owned a mining permit--which she purchased after being ganked a week earlier by Agents Lewak and Aiko Danuja.

And that is how the matter landed on Aiko's desk.

In response, our Agent requested that Blunder answer a series of questions to facilitate her investigation.

Now the ball was in Blunder's court.

The miner quickly backpedaled, but she complied with the information requests:

Maybe the reason CCP requires a 15-minute break between ganks is so that our Agents have time to handle all the paperwork involved.

Aiko thoroughly reviewed the matter and found that everything was in order. And that meant--you guessed it--another victory for the New Order!

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

William's Rage, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... The Nakugard system in chaos! Agent Alt 00 was repeatedly challenged in local by the rebellious William Rageclaw, whose anti-Code attitude threatened to inspire a new resistance movement.

Though Nakugard local chat was unruly, Agent Alt 00 had succeeded in preventing unlicensed miners--everyone in the system besides Leia Jadesol--from doing any mining. Indeed, our Agent was so successful that she had to make short trips to neighboring systems to find miners to gank.

In the midst of the conflict, however, a gank Coercer was lost. It belonged to Alt Asteria, a close associate and rumored alt of Alt 00.

The anti-gank had been pulled off by none other than William Rageclaw himself, who used a deadly Kikimora destroyer to accomplish the foul deed.

Alt 00 was now being challenged on all fronts. The anti-Code forces were beginning to think that it was safe to mine without a permit in Nakugard. So far, though, few dared to undock--despite the destruction of Alt Asteria's Coercer.

Our Agent attempted to reason with the miners. But she had a backup plan in case diplomacy failed.

Orca miner Cheval de Travail openly floated the idea of mining in Nakugard without a permit. Alt 00 hoped to talk some sense into her--but Cheval's mind was not receptive.

Making matters worse, William's future corpmate Ginger Ale907 goaded her fellow rebels in local chat. There were impressionable miners listening!

As Cheval's Orca made moves toward beginning a solo mining op, our Agent gave her one last chance to get compliant.

...The miner refused. It was time to act.

In a surprise move, Alt 00 launched a bumping Machariel. The graceful ship bumped Cheval's Orca senseless.

The Orca was forced to make a humiliating retreat. Cheval's illegal mining ceased, but her mouth did not.

By all accounts, Cheval had been outmaneuvered. Any reasonable miner in her shoes would have at least considered purchasing a mining permit. Even so, she persisted in her rebellion.

Alt 00 could only conclude that the miner was emboldened by all of the anti-Code talk in local.

The only way to rescue the Nakugard system was to find a way to put down all of the Goblok-fueled nonsense. And with William Rageclaw's Kikimora still at large, Alt 00 was in for the fight of her life.

To be continued...

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

William's Rage, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Tensions rose in the Nakugard system after William Rageclaw publicly challenged Agent Alt 00's authority. If the situation continued to worsen, Nakugard would be faced with a full-scale rebellion.

DeMoNSpiKe was the latest miner to threaten the tranquility of the system. They seemed to be popping up one after another.

For some reason, each rebel seemed to be irrationally gripped with a hostility toward the Code. It was as if they felt they'd been wronged by the New Order. Yet they all denied that they were miners.

As soon as Alt 00 felt like she was making progress with one miner, a new one spoke up. Now our Agent had Ginger Ale907 to contend with.

Like the other rebels, Ginger showed no regard for the Code. The civility of Nakugard society was crumbling.

After being silent for a time, the rebel leader spoke. William claimed that Ginger was not a miner. But how would he know?

(Several weeks later, Ginger would join William's corporation.)

Alt 00 was confident that Ginger was indeed a miner--just like all of the other mouthy anti-Code folk who were disturbing the peace in Nakugard.

The rebellious chattering grew into a roar. A mob was forming. Its target: Agent Alt 00 and her Code.

Our Agent didn't lose her confidence or her composure. She'd gotten out of tighter spots before.

Permit-owner Leia Jadesol's calm voice rang through. She knew that if the present turmoil continued, it would only be the miners who would get hurt.

Agent Alt 00 considered her next move. She wanted to restore peace to Nakugard--but how?

The fires raged. 'Twas a demonstration of a simple truth: Once one anti-Code miner starts barking in local, it sets off everyone in the neighborhood.

William surveyed the scene. He had inspired a movement. But to ensure the downfall of the mighty CODE. alliance, he would need to defeat Alt 00 in combat.

To be continued...