Thursday, July 31, 2014

Bots, Bullies, and Balderdash, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Rebel carebear merc 69er contacted New Order diplomat Capt Starfox and unburdened himself in a series of angry EVEmails. Starfox was determined to teach the unruly bot-aspirant the truth about the Code, no matter what it took.

A lot of EVE players don't know that you can change the color of your text in an EVEmail. Or maybe they do know about it, but never find an occasion where it's appropriate to do so. merc 69er did. When he broke out the red text, Starfox knew he'd struck a nerve.

Experienced Agents know that a carebear's promises aren't the best indication of his future actions. I have personally sold many mining permits to miners who insisted they would "never" pay. Starfox kept the faith. He knew merc 69er would be much happier after he finally took the plunge.

The rascal made a counter-offer: He would buy a permit, but only after Starfox sent him 500 million isk. "Never" took one step closer to the present. Now all Starfox needed to do was negotiate that 500 million down to zero.

Again, merc refused. In his EVEmail, he attempted to borrow from the battle-tested Code lexicon, but he ended up dropping Miner Bingo quotes in spite of himself.

Next, the rebel claimed the entire New Order licensing apparatus was fraudulent. But the accusation held no weight because merc was unreliable. Not only did he quote the wrong "Star Trek" character, he quoted the wrong show.

And yes, mining permits are real.

The more Starfox tried to pull him out of the muck, the deeper the carebear descended into madness. He declared himself ruler of parts of highsec and lowsec. An utterly absurd notion. But Starfox was ready for him.

In a tour de force, the New Order diplomat wrapped his arms around the drowning carebear and pulled him to safety. merc 69er had a second chance at EVE, if he would only take it.

merc 69er terminated their correspondence by putting Starfox on his "block" list. This was an extraordinary turn of events, since it was merc who had contacted Starfox to begin with. Clearly, Starfox's flawless logic and unwavering faith in the Code shook the rebel miner into something approaching wakefulness--and he didn't like the feeling. That's life. Not everything that's good for us in the long run is pleasurable in the short run. merc still didn't have a permit, after all, and everyone knows you can't really enjoy EVE as a miner before you get licensed.

You know, the process of saving highsec isn't like what you see on a television show. In real life, not every problem is resolved within the span of 30 or 60 minutes. The final chapter in merc 69er's long path to reconciliation with the Code has yet to be written. Some carebears are smart, while others are stubborn. From the fattest jump freighter to the lowliest Venture, they are all the children of highsec. Given enough time, each one will purchase his or her very own mining permit. They're just waiting for an Agent of the New Order to help them write the next chapter in their journey. (Credit Iam Thanatos for the portrait.)

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Bots, Bullies, and Balderdash, Part 1

Among the New Order's many strengths: Diversity and diplomacy. And no single Agent better personifies both of these strengths than our own Capt Starfox.

Starfox is not a member of CODE., but of Tactical Narcotics Team, a nullsec-holding member of the CFC. Starfox is also the New Order's lead diplomat. Skeptics and critics might call this an example of the New Order putting a token non-CODE. member in a highly-visible position of authority. Nonsense. The real reason Capt Starfox is in charge of the New Order diplomatic team: He came up with the idea and felt like doing it. As a result, Starfox gets EVEmails like these...

Somewhere along the way, merc 69er got the wrong impression about our Order and what we do. He accused us of being a bunch of bullies. Naturally, this charge was accompanied by a bunch of threats and profanity. Because that's how you fight bullying.

Cursory research on merc 69er revealed him to be a hardened enemy of the Code. Judging by his corp name, he had radical affiliations.

The corp in question, I screwed James 315 and the new order, was evaluated by New Order Intelligence. Initial assessment: The corp possessed the average level of sophistication for a rebel group.

Now it was time for Capt Starfox to flex his diplomatic muscles, drafting a reply that would help soothe and educate the carebear, readying him for his inevitable future transition from anti-Order to pro-Order status:

Starfox estimated the carebear's attention span would be exhausted after about a dozen words.

However, merc 69er had been doing more thinking about the Code than anyone could have suspected. He railed against the New Order's practice of checking for AFK'ers by talking to people in local. Maybe he was an active miner who didn't pay enough attention to local chat?

However, merc confessed to violating the New Order bathroom protocol--a clear admission of guilt. He also protested our "bullying" by saying we're scum that deserves to be treated like scum.

The whole bullying complaint is content-free; it's a zero-calorie argument. By contrast, a discussion about the Code is always fruitful. Since merc was interested in a debate, Starfox gave him one. The diplomat replied with a brilliant, concise explanation of how the Code applies to daily life in highsec:
Players should have local chat in its own separate window. Failure to do this may result in loss of ship and/or pod. Trade, corp and other player channels are not local and do not count as local. Make sure you actively pay attention to local chat or you risk loss of ship and/or pod.

It is required to dock up if you need to go AFK while mining; however, you are allowed to ask an Agent if it is alright to use the restroom and remain undocked. We allow this because we care.

Miners and the rest of the carebear community have already received enough warning. The ganks will continue with, or without "time to respond."

HTH -get a permit!

Fly safe o/
It was completely devastating. Impressively, the accomplished New Order diplomat dashed off the EVEmail in just a few minutes. If properly absorbed, it would undo the months or even years of rebel propaganda to which merc 69er's main must've been exposed. How could merc answer it with anything other than "You're right. Here's 10 million isk"?

merc continued to resist. He made an appeal to "free will". Starfox politely told merc how silly he was being. Yes, there is free will in highsec. Freedom to follow the Code, freedom to enforce the Code... Freedom to disobey the Code? That's going too far, like yelling "fire" in a crowded theater. Every freedom has limits.

The stubbornness of the "I screwed James 315 and the new order" CEO was daunting. If Starfox's diplomatic mission was to succeed, he would need to draw upon the maximum power of the Code.

To be continued...

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Venture-Killing Contest this August

Agent Anal Canal has found herself in a bit of a situation. She has a PLEX and needs to give it away. Can you help her?

Anal decided to create a contest, which will run all through the month of August. The winner will be the pilot who ganks the most Ventures. These days PLEXes are selling for nearly 800 million isk. By the end of August the price could be even higher.

A Venture-killing contest is an interesting idea. They are the smallest and cheapest of the mining ships. At a time when the New Order is making freighters drop like flies, having players compete to gank Ventures demonstrates the full scope of New Order authority. Personally, I have disliked Ventures ever since I saw the artwork for them, which doesn't fit with the rest of EVE's ship models. Also, they were intended to be used for lowsec/nullsec ninja-mining, but have been abused by people who AFK mine in highsec instead.

Critics will say, "Killing Ventures? There goes the New Order again, picking on new players." To which I reply, "Not at all. Not at all."

If you've never ganked miners before, or if you've just joined EVE, this contest is perfect for you. New players will find it easier to gank a Venture than one of the hardier mining ships. When you think about it, this is one of the most newbie-friendly activities ever organized by the New Order.

The rules are simple. Any questions should be directed to loyalanon or Anal Canal. May the best ganker win!

The Code V

People just can't get enough of Agent Sasha Nyemtsov's audio commentaries on the Code. Or his voice. Sasha's latest discourse is available for your listening pleasure. Rounding out the preamble, Sasha tackles the following lines in today's recording:
"I'm no idealist to believe, firmly, in the integrity of the Code and the New Order of Highsec. It's no ideal to me: It is a living, working reality."
It's amazing how timely each sentence of the Code remains--despite having been written all the way back in 2012!

For earlier recordings, please enjoy the following links:
The Code II
The Code III
The Code IV

Monday, July 28, 2014

Yes, This is the Rule

When we think of trade hubs in EVE, we think of systems like Jita, which exist solely for the purpose of buying and selling goods, and for killing people who buy and sell goods. Did you know it's also possible to mine in some trade hub systems? Take Hek, for instance. Not only is it a major traffic center, it's also a 0.5 security system. Mining there is extremely dangerous. If you want to mine in Hek, you should bring a fully-tanked, licensed mining vessel and a full escort.

...Or you can bring an untanked Retriever. Whatever.

After highsec miner Sylvia Ross had her illegal mining operation shut down, she was contacted by Agent Tisiphone Dira. Clearly, Sylvia assumed she was the victim of a random gank. She was about to be educated.

Although Sylvia herself lacked the courage to mine in lowsec, she accused an accomplished PvP'er of being a "coward". In truth, Tisiphone was anything but a bully. She ganked Sylvia for the benefit of new players.

Suddenly, Sylvia attempted to extort Tisiphone for 30 million isk. If she didn't get the money, she would condemn Tisiphone and "the whole EVE". Classic carebear--it's all about the money and never about the experience.

For a moment, Sylvia stopped screaming and began to contemplate the enormity of what she'd just learned about the Code. If highsec had rules, maybe she would need to quit EVE forever. Sylvia had a problem with authority.

The convo was terminated. A bit less than an hour later, Sylvia shot an EVEmail to Agent Tisiphone. She'd been reading the Code. Her message lays forth the tragedy of the highsec miner: If she couldn't mine in highsec, there was no reason to play EVE. So much for the sandbox.

Then Sylvia escalated her petition all the way to the Saviour of Highsec. Naturally, being a carebear, she started off with a lie, claiming her ship had been destroyed for "no reason". Sylvia must have assumed I wouldn't get the full story from my Agent, because the convo shows that Tisiphone was very clear about her reasons for ganking Sylvia. Lying to the Saviour is not a good idea, folks.

Sylvia demanded a refund of 40 million isk and for the "stupid rule", i.e. the Code, to be changed. If I failed to meet her demands, she would quit the game. I now had to choose between the New Halaima Code of Conduct and Sylvia Ross.

When such an ultimatum is presented, the Code always wins.

Sylvia Ross is a highsec villain, but she's a tragic villain. She truly believes there's nothing more to EVE than mining in highsec. She doesn't believe in tank modules or weapons; her only defense is to spew profanity and threaten to quit the game. These days, it's widely held that for some reason it's really, really important for EVE to have as many players as possible. An interesting notion. If you ask me, one carebear like Sylvia Ross is more than enough.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Kills of the Week

This was a very special week for highsec: It was a week full of tremendous victories for the New Order. One might ask, how does that make this week different from any other week? It doesn't. Every week is a very special week when the New Order's around. Let's celebrate some ganks from the week of July 20th @ 00:00 EVEtime through July 26th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

Xulnaga starts us off with a bang. He didn't get the memo about being able to fit freighters with modules, or he just didn't care. He had 9 billion isk to haul around highsec and 0 million isk worth of mining permits for his freighter. The result was a dead freighter, ganked by Agents Aaaarrgg, ELicken, loyalanon, Big G Chelien, John E Normus, Jake Makbema, James Haythem, Bishop Hudson, Keraina Talie-Kuo, Krominal, Lonely Spirit, Rakeris, Princess Suicide, Yucan Blome, Nitetime Video, Mary Enowool, ATM Pro Asanari, Jon 1, Zane Arnolles, Babahabas, Jolly Rancer, P3tsku Janoinen, Cuddletime, grebnedlog kram, Catalysting You, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, and Jericho47.

But wait, there's more! The killmails on ZKillboard and Eve-Kill were API verified, but truncated. You see, Xulnaga was carrying around a lot of cargo, especially blueprints. Most were merely blueprint copies, but a few dozen were listed in-game as BPOs. The scan of the cargo was dropped into Evepraisal, which uses Jita market values to assess the total worth of a ship's contents. The Evepraisal estimate of Xulnaga's cargo was between 28 and 71 billion isk--not counting the several BPOs for which there was no market data.

All things considered, a 10 million isk permit is a pretty decent investment, no? That whole "New Order can't claim sov in highsec so just ignore them" thing doesn't seem to be working out so well for you rebels.

BlackSite Operator was flying a 9-10 billion isk jump freighter and decided to swap out one of his reinforced bulkheads for an expanded cargohold. He needed more room for his prized possessions. Who cares about a few measly hitpoints, right? BlackSite sure didn't. He was a bot-aspirant. Our Agents, on the other hand... John E Normus, Big G Chelien, Krominal, Keraina Talie-Kuo, loyalanon, Nitetime Video, Aaaarrgg, Zane Arnolles, ELicken, Yucan Blome, Brutal Anna, Lonely Spirit, Mad Fatchick Killer, Rakeris, Cuddletime, Arno Rafe, Rick Therapist, Radric Davids, Anal Canal, Zombiepilot, Jay Amazingness, P3tsku Janoinen, Jericho47, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, and Reprocessing Survivor take highsec more seriously. They won the risk/reward debate with antimatter.

Ouch. Areath Mehuputania was flying a fail-fit Nestor worth more than 2 billion isk. The carebear didn't think he needed a proper fit, since he was only killing NPCs in a mission he was running. Along came Arden Elenduil, who helped himself to some of the wrecks. Even though Arden's status as an Agent of the New Order entitled him to confiscate the contraband, Areath opened fire. Under the aggression rules, this made Areath a valid target. Arden easily won the battle, tearing the 2 billion isk monstrosity apart--while Areath probably yelled, "Leave me alone!"

Note to CCP: You can give the carebears a safety button, but it won't save them. If the next expansion included a Common Sense Button, the carebears would immediately switch it to the "off" position.

HARCLOCKSIS wanted to mine in highsec without my permission. To ensure his safety, he filled his Mackinaw with some expensive equipment, but not much tank. He ended up losing quite a bit more than the 617 million isk killmail suggests. HARCLOCKSIS, it seems, has a nasty little addiction--to Harvester Mining Drones.

Each one of these little puppies costs over 200 million isk. Agents loyalanon and Sophia Soprano were disgusted by what they saw, but they knew they'd come too far to quit saving highsec now. Once the Mackinaw was safely out of the picture, they scooped the drones and sold them to buy more Catalysts. Now that's what I call a happy ending!

People like Roman Ahashion probably look down on the freighter pilots who get ganked in Uedama. If so, they're hypocrites. Roman anti-tanked his blockade runner and, despite having a cloaking device equipped, turned it off so he could travel through my territory on auto-pilot. Agent D400 was on duty and gently reminded Roman that cloaks exist for a reason--as do gank ships. Roman wasn't willing to use his cloak, but D400 was willing to use his gank ship. Several hundred million isk worth of skillbooks and tags went up in flames.

BONUS! Last week, the notorious liberty of U-S-A-T-O tried to interfere with the New Order's freighter ganking in Uedama. Ever wonder why the rebels can't stop us from killing freighters, even though they know where we operate? liberty's Manticore fit provides a clue. Sanadoon1 and DeTech Deplete of Hunter Killers. corp took only one minute to kill her: 58 seconds to stop laughing, 1 second to kill her, and 1 second to wait for the next server tick.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

The James 315 Chorus

Increasingly, the Code is transcending the traditional written mediums like webpage text and local spam. In recent weeks we've seen the Code appear in recorded audio: homilies and stock messages. As you'll no doubt recall with fondness, oral readings of the Code also featured prominently in Agent Erotica 1's Bonus Rounds.

Today, the singing.

Agent Rabe Raptor made multiple recordings of his own voice and mixed them together in an exciting chorus. The lyrics to this particular chorus are printed on the SoundCloud page.

If this were included as an in-game sound, I'm absolutely confident more EVE players would play the game with sound enabled. And I'm equally confident that if it played as an in-game sound effect for the miners each time they were ganked, we wouldn't need to gank them repeatedly. They would learn much more quickly to buy a permit.

Over Three Hundred Eighty-Six Billion in Shares Sold

New Order shareholders are known for their honesty and integrity, but they're also known for something else: Being really, really smart people. Agent Black Pedro joined up for some intelligent reasons. I'll let him explain:

You see what I'm talking about? Black Pedro purchased 1,000 shares, sending us past the 386 billion isk mark and earning him a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. A pretty clever move, I must say.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Both Sides of the Keyboard

Killing hundreds of freighters isn't easy; Agent loyalanon just makes it look easy. For an Agent to lead huge ganking fleets effectively, he must occasionally spend some quiet time ganking miners solo. This enables him to keep in touch with the common carebear, renewing his strength and preparing him for future ganking fleets.

loyalanon spotted an illegal Covetor piloted by Colt Ironside, a member of the Veerhouven Group Alliance. From the Covetor's fitting and Colt's AFK demeanor, it was clear that Colt had no genuine interest in EVE. Since Colt wasn't playing EVE, loyalanon decided to remove him from the asteroid belt and make room for others.

It was then that another member of the Veehouven Group Alliance spoke up. He was Rennet Zierlein, a highsec miner like the rest of the alliance's members. He wasted no time in revealing what kind of carebear he truly was:

Yes, Rennet was one of those carebears, the kind who believes (1) it's sociopathic to shoot spaceships in a spaceship-shooting game, and (2) it's perfectly normal to encourage the real-life suicide of other players. As regular readers of MinerBumping know, Rennet's attitude is quite common in highsec among the anti-ganking crowd. To summarize their philosophy...

PvP in a 0.5 security system: Bullying
Real-life death wishes on EVE players: Totally fine

Kirito Takashi, a passerby who was drifting through the system, gave Rennet a lifeline. Rennet didn't see fit to take it. He wanted the gankers dead. In-game, out-of-game, whatever it took.

Note to CCP: No matter how many times you grant the carebears' wishes and nerf PvP in highsec, they will never be grateful. As long as there is anything less than 100% safety in highsec, they'll think you're sociopaths. Don't bother trying to please them.

Despite Rennet's distasteful behavior, I feel sympathy for him. He has been a highsec miner for five years. loyalanon, too, wanted only to help the misguided carebear. Rennet offered some puzzling ideas about people being sociopaths regardless of "which side of the keyboard you are on". Personally, I'm always on one side of the keyboard. How would I get on the other side of it? My desk and computer monitor are in the way. Besides, I would have to relearn how to type from the other side.

Rennet had no evidence to support his ideas, only more cryptic words for loyalanon to ponder.

Paranoia was setting in. Sociopaths lurked behind every corner. Rennet freely admitted that it didn't matter that Agents of the New Order play video games using valid game mechanics. That's just the cover for our real agenda, which is presumably not related to video games.

Cornered, Rennet returned to the two-sided keyboard theory. Seriously, how are you supposed to get on the other side of your keyboard? I suppose you could rotate the keyboard 180 degrees and type upside-down, but I don't see what the point is. It's probably best not to take a highsec miner's ideas about keyboards too seriously. They're not experts on the subject. After all, they stay away from keyboards as much as they can.
Two days
From: Learned Vagrant
Sent: 2014.07.23 04:56
To: loyalanon,

Meet me in 9F-7PZ in two days. Ying will be the one actually there. Rules:

Rookie ships fitted any way you want, but only one high slot full. I would suggest some kind of weapon.
No drones.
No friends.

The killboards will tell the story. :) Have a nice life, or not.
Shortly after loyalanon wrapped up his chat with Rennt, another member of Veerhouven Group Alliance sent him an EVEmail and challenged him to a rookie ship duel. loyalanon enquired as to whether members of the alliance were still mad at him for ganking the Covetor.
Re: Re: Two days
From: Learned Vagrant
Sent: 2014.07.23 05:02
To: loyalanon,

Fuckwads like you upset a lot more people that you know. So what's it going to be? Neither Ying, nor I have any friends up there. You could save me a lot of time and trouble if you would tell me now that you don't have the balls for it.
The member of Veerhouven confirmed that the alliance was still mad. This might not have been the best time for loyalanon to teach them about the Code, but we in the New Order have a philosophy of our own: Never miss an opportunity. If you wait for the perfect time, it might never arrive.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Two days
From: Learned Vagrant
Sent: 2014.07.23 05:15
To: loyalanon,

Answer the fucking question. Chances are that neither one of you will get out of there alive, but Ying is willing to go. Are you? Why kill you in Hi sec when it doesn't cost me sec status if I do it in Null?

Think about it. Think about something for once in your life.
The Veerhouven crew concluded their interaction with the New Order that day by encouraging loyalanon to "think about something for once in your life". Indeed, the Veerhouvens have given us all much to consider: Wardec, awox, ganking, bumping...?

Thursday, July 24, 2014

The Time the Mercenaries Were Real, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Thirtyone Organism popped a Capsule that was sitting AFK on a stargate. The pod was empty--not a single implant--but that didn't stop the owner, SOIH-257, from having a meltdown and vowing to hire mercenaries.

SOIH-257 was particularly annoyed when Thirtyone offered to return the corpse. In the land of the carebear, no good deed goes unpunished. But would SOIH-257 really make good on her threat to hire mercs and exact revenge?

Incredibly, SOIH-257 was serious about the merc thing. She went to r/EVE on and posted her offer publicly. She identified the target by attaching the image of Thirtyone's friendly corpse contract. SOIH-257 offered 50 million isk for anyone who could grab Thirtyone Organism's corpse. On the surface, Reddit is a nest of highsec carebears; a "downvote brigade" attempts to bury every post related to the New Order. Despite this, r/EVE is a diverse community. They quickly realized SOIH-257 was mad.
SOIH-257 > What's good my trigga
NECROMANCER > word on the street is
NECROMANCER > you need merc assist
SOIH-257 > you down?
SOIH-257 > 50 mil a corpse
NECROMANCER > 1. target
NECROMANCER > 2. ships flown
NECROMANCER > 3. lol @ 50 mil
Among the Redditors who saw SOIH-257's appeal: A pirate referred to here as NECROMANCER. (The chat logs were apparently edited to conceal NECROMANCER's identity.)
SOIH-257 > Look man I got a lot of people working this job
NECROMANCER > I know them all
NECROMANCER > how do you think I contacted you
SOIH-257 > And which sleazy space scum grape vine did you slide down from?
NECROMANCER > Now, talk target.
SOIH-257 > Some shitbird pilot who fucked with the wrong cranky rich cunt
The carebear and the pirate spoke brusquely to one another. SOIH-257's fantasies about "being Jabba the Hutt" were coming true.
SOIH-257 > paying a few corps 1 plex a week for starters
NECROMANCER > you had my attention
NECROMANCER > but now you have my interest
SOIH-257 > Thirtyone Organism
SOIH-257 > target
NECROMANCER > multiboxer
SOIH-257 > yeah i know
SOIH-257 > i met his alts
SOIH-257 > or at least one of them
SOIH-257 > lets see how well he can multibox against 40+ pilots with fat wallets
NECROMANCER seemed to be familiar with the New Order Agent already. SOIH-257 giggled with delight. Then NECROMANCER asked SOIH-257 about the circumstances of the pod gank that had led to her vendetta.
SOIH-257 > I didn't do a lot of research on what hes flying im leaving that to my ruffians
NECROMANCER > what the hell were you doing lol
SOIH-257 > AFK at work for 13 minutes
SOIH-257 > had to help a disabled kid pick a video game to play
SOIH-257 > regardless of the point
SOIH-257 > was in high sec chillin in my pod because i thought SHIT THIS WILL TAKE 15 seconds
As usual, the Code violator had an excuse for being AFK: She needed to help a child. Not just any child, but a disabled child. Isn't it interesting how--according to the carebears, at least--no one ever goes AFK for selfish reasons? It's always helping disabled children, or repairing the neighbor's plumbing, or feeding an infant, or something along those lines. Highsec carebears are the nicest, most generous people in the world, but only when they're AFK.
SOIH-257 > im gonna contract him as many corpses as my scoundrals can round up
SOIH-257 > and also ruin his month
NECROMANCER > so I'm going to step back a second here
NECROMANCER > you went afk in a pod
NECROMANCER > then taunted with a contract for corpse
SOIH-257 > and im cranky about it
SOIH-257 > whats it fucking matter to you? I'm the one signing the interstellar checks
NECROMANCER > do you not have alts that could kill him?
SOIH-257 > i could kill him myself but hes terrified of me
The mercenary gave SOIH-257 some guff about the situation, but they quickly returned to talking terms.
NECROMANCER > you've contracted what
NECROMANCER > close to 15, 20 people over this?
SOIH-257 > 31
SOIH-257 > so far
NECROMANCER > most of whom have already given the other guy info on it
NECROMANCER > he's prepped fresh clones
NECROMANCER > just to collect free cash from these people through you
NECROMANCER > I heard about it because of people laughing about it in pirate channels
SOIH-257 > I'm definitely making a giant scene on reddit too
NECROMANCER > for future reference, you kill a target with a few well-trained people
NECROMANCER > not a mob of idiots and spies
NECROMANCER > most of us would rather fight each other for free than go after him, or just scam you
NECROMANCER > you aren't raising an army, you're being leeched by a swamp
SOIH-257 > so you in or not
Coincidentally, SOIH-257 claimed to have hired thirty-one pilots to hunt Thirtyone Organism. "So far." NECROMANCER gave her some much-needed advice.
NECROMANCER > For a PLEX, I'd happily dec Bongwater on the spot.
SOIH-257 > Did you see
SOIH-257 > Kick-Ass
NECROMANCER > 1 and 2.
SOIH-257 > I'm Red Mist and my daddy just got blown up by a bazooka
SOIH-257 > I got ass tons of cash and IDK what to do with it
SOIH-257 > other than throw it at pirates and mercs
NECROMANCER > don't hire an army of idiots.
SOIH-257 > but thats what red mist does
NECROMANCER > Like that Russian chick
NECROMANCER > and he dies like a bitch.
Spoiler alert. SOIH-257 downgraded herself from Jabba the Hutt to "Red Mist".
SOIH-257 > so you're gonna walk the fuck out of here with my plex
SOIH-257 > and bring me kick-ass's corpses
NECROMANCER > More than that.
NECROMANCER > I will bring you corpses.
NECROMANCER > Days of him not logging in.Stretching to weeks.
NECROMANCER > Then when he finally undocks
Finally, NECROMANCER started speaking SOIH-257's language. He promised endless punishment to be inflicted against the New Order Agent as soon as he received payment.
NECROMANCER > please take a look at our killboard.
NECROMANCER > see how deadly serious I am that we can hellcamp this fuckwit.
NECROMANCER > 28 days is 4 weeks of decs.
SOIH-257 > aye
NECROMANCER > thankfully, the bills can be paid upfront.
SOIH-257 > i got 4 plexes with your ugly tattoos all over them
NECROMANCER > good. Contract to corp, not to me.
The price: Four PLEXes. It was steep, but SOIH-257 was still upset about losing the empty pod.
NECROMANCER > thank you, received.
SOIH-257 > when does the dec start?
NECROMANCER > declared now, notifications out, 24 hours until fighting begins
SOIH-257 > can i see the notify
NECROMANCER > I'll ask the CEO
NECROMANCER > weird. all he said was 'Nonnak sends his regards'. Any idea what that means?
After the payment was sent, NECROMANCER name-dropped Nonnak Severin. This was probably not a good sign.

Nonnak reported to Reddit and revealed what anyone might have guessed: The mercenary had no intention of attacking the New Order. It was a scam. Nonnak posted the full log of his convo with SOIH-257 for Reddit's enjoyment. Agent Thirtyone Organism was informed of this, so he sent a polite EVEmail to SOIH-257 requesting an update on her promised revenge. SOIH-257 replied as follows:
From: SOIH-257
Sent: 2014.05.19 05:04
To: Thirtyone Organism,

Paid a few corps, got scammed up.

Paid several solo pilots.

I only went to the public for this, so far, and nobody is going to come back with results, so you'll be fine for now. On the other hand, I still have several private militas ready to what I want.

So far just about everyone that I paid publically is going to run with the plexes and I quite frankly don't give a shit. In fact, they might pay you because I made them laugh. I even paid an easily spottable scammer's corp 4 plex for 4 weeks of wardec on you to see if you shit yourself, they ran with it to my knowledge, but still. I said I'd pay the plex and I have been since you logged out.

Tomorrow, if nobody has results, I'm going to turn to my actual friends and allies and they'll be doing the work nonprofit.
SOIH-257 freely admitted that every single corp and individual she hired had scammed her. Some of them were actually mercenaries, but none had the slightest interest in trying to hunt down a New Order ganker alt. They were only interested in her money, which they got. SOIH-257 concluded with a promise to hire her "actual friends and allies" next. I'm not sure why SOIH-257 didn't contact her friends to begin with, rather than a bunch of mercs she didn't know, but I guess that's not what Red Mist would've done. In the months that followed, nothing happened. SOIH-257's friends and allies, if she had any, failed to appear.

It's a hard lesson for some Code-violators to learn. There are no mercenaries or pirates coming to save you. No one is coming from nullsec to stop the New Order. There won't be any carebear uprising against us. Your "actual friends and allies" are not going to show up. There is only one thing you can count on in highsec: The Code always wins. It's time for the rebels out there to learn how to live with it.