Saturday, September 30, 2017

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #141

These "if I had known, I would've paid!" types are a tricky bunch. In a hypothetical alternate reality, would they really have paid? Even without the aid of time travel, it's possible to find out--if you dig just a little deeper:

Nah, they wouldn't have paid. It's only fitting that in this reality, they always get ganked. Welcome to the latest edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

The mighty CODE. alliance has done a lot to change the culture of highsec. Long gone are the days when anyone would've had sympathy for the water buffalo guy.

The truth is, anti-Code miners are extremists. They're pro-cancer, after all.

Most miners make poor conversationalists, and they know it. kevinxx invited our Agent to a private convo, said one thing, and then left. It would've been more efficient (though only slightly less rude) to send an EVEmail instead.

Some miners are convinced that CODE. is single-handedly destroying EVE. Is there any truth to that claim? Consider:

It's rare for a carebear to actually cancel their EVE subscription due to being ganked. But those who do quit are the worst players. We wouldn't want to share EVE with them anyway.

Teamwork is a foreign concept to the bot-aspirant miner.

Prometheus Ambrosius genuinely believes that our Agents bribe CCP employees so that we can gank with bots. This is called "projection". If he had the money, Prometheus would gladly grease a few palms to boost his ability to AFK mine. Shameful.

A jester? I think you've got the wrong blog.

Despite all the accusations that get leveled against our Agents, everybody knows that it's the carebears who break the rules. Gankers are principled; carebears are greedy. The natural consequences follow.

Ariel Jerusalem openly despises the EVE EULA. Don't be surprised, dear reader. A miner who will disobey the Code is a miner who will break any rule he doesn't like.

It should be obvious that EVE needs the Code. Our Agents are the only people holding this game together.

...And more and more people are coming to realize it every day.

Friday, September 29, 2017

Over One Trillion Five Hundred Fifty-One Billion in Shares Sold

The New Order's on the rise these days--big time.

A sign of the times: Black Pedro purchased 1,000 additional shares, sending us past the 1,551 billion isk mark and earning him another Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

That's nothing to sneeze at. But at the same time, we both know the real reason you're here. For the Bonus.


There's been a lot of talk going around highsec about a spike in the number of freighter deaths. The rumors are true. For today's Bonus, bear witness to two very nice gank videos.

First up, the death of a 10.3 billion isk Nomad. The jump freighter failed to jump. Clearly it was piloted (well, "piloted") by a bot-aspirant lemon, but our heroes made lemonade out of it.

This bot-aspirant managed to lose a 6.5 billion isk Orca and stuck around to lose a 3.1 billion isk pod, too. What a spectacular show!

Carebear, you'd better get yourself a mining permit. Otherwise, get ready for your close-up.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Bob Goes Forth, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Bob the Fourth made it his mission to bring light to the Solitude region. But the miners he found were filled with darkness.

Bob winced when he saw LeXXi Gel's Venture fit. If you've never seen a miner who uses 400mm Crystalline Carbonide Restrained Plates, you can feel free to check that item off your bucket list. Even dumber: LeXXi didn't have a New Order mining permit.

Some miners try to hide behind the language barrier. It never works. CCP may drop foreign language support, but our Agents do not.

LeXXi fired up a translator and tried to explain why he didn't own a permit. For future reference, mining permits are required for all PvE activities in highsec. And yes, you need a permit even if you're doing a scarecrow.

You gotta hand it to whatever program LeXXi was using. Even with the limitations of the Russian translator, the miner was able to fully convey his sense of nihilism and class struggle.

Our Agents do their best to communicate with highsec miners, regardless of the language they speak. Fortunately, EVE has some methods for sending messages that everyone understands:

LeXXi threatened our Agent by making his kill right available. In this way, the miner signaled that he was only becoming more hostile.

Though the miner had struggled to express himself before, he was suspiciously fluent in English profanity.

As LeXXi sent another insult to our Agent, Bob noticed a familiar face in local:

Cath Noxious Noxious belonged to the corporation defeated by Bob in Part 1 of this series. As you'll recall, Cath's corp tried wardeccing Bob, only to have Bob set the war mutual. Cath and all his friends disappeared for a month.

LeXXi was still furious. Rebel miners don't like it when our Agents pay attention to them; paradoxically, they get even angrier when our Agents pay attention to someone else.

By coincidence, Cath went on a family vacation that lasted until he figured out how to retract the mutual wardec.

Bob was filled with compassion as he watched LeXXi's ore-addled brain disintegrate right in front of him. Was there anything our Agent could do to help him now?

To be continued...

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Bot-Aspirancy Goes on Your Permanent Record, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... When highsec miner Beef Punchmeat applied to join KarmaFleet, recruitment officer Vulkyn peppered him with questions about the Code. Beef declared his intention to disobey the Code by not buying a mining permit. Beef's other remarks during the interview reinforced Vulkyn's suspicions that Beef was a bot-aspirant. Beef's application to join KarmaFleet was rejected.
Beef Punchmeat > Really Vulkyn?
Vulkyn > Eh?
Beef Punchmeat > You denied my application. I have a feeling its because I dont agree with how the CODE is set up
Vulkyn > We don't comment on why we won't invite people to join us. I know that sucks.... but if we told people why, people would game the system.
Although KarmaFleet policy doesn't allow recruitment officers to give a definitive explanation for why an application gets rejected, Beef was convinced that it was all about his disobedience to the Code.
Davian Thule Pirkibo > key question however
Davian Thule Pirkibo > is was it closed or rejected
Beef Punchmeat > Rejected
Davian Thule Pirkibo > sorry mate
So much for Beef's fresh start in nullsec. The fact of the matter is, if you fail to conduct yourself in an appropriate manner in New Order territory, your history is going to follow you no matter where you go.
Beef Punchmeat > By Vulkyn, whom I disagree with about CODE. Seems like Karmafleet is not as welcoming as it says
Vulkyn > Nearly 7000 members of KF would disagre....
Hydrium Eternite > We wish you the best of luck and hope that you will find a home that you enjoy.
Beef Punchmeat > I'm sure I will.
Beef seethed. He'd always assumed that the New Order's ideas about proper EVE gameplay were irrelevant outside of highsec. In reality, many nullsec players recognize a simple truth: If you act like a Goofus in highsec, you're probably going to act like a Goofus in nullsec.
Robby Kasparic > I am now currious to know his thoughts on code
Robby Kasparic > as Im sure they are well thought out
Hydrium Eternite > I used to hate them lol I had them set at -10 until like a week ago when I looked at my contacts and noticed I had done that when I had just started.
Beef Punchmeat > Well, I dont belive anyone but CCP can dictate how I chose to play this game
Phoenix Flames > That's not technically accurate. You join a corporation/alliance, they'll have rules you have to obey if you want to stay.
It's a classic miner cliché to claim that only CCP can tell you what to do in EVE. Carebears always use that as an excuse not to buy a mining permit. It's nonsense. Needless to say, nullsec alliances exercise even tighter control over their people than our Agents do!
Beef Punchmeat > CODE enfocement 'agents' dont seem to care about some folks who have a permit. As well as the fact that they try to tell people what they should put in local chat. That smacks of despotism which I disagree with
Vegan Spyder > Phoenix couldn't have said it better about corps
Beef Punchmeat > Exactly, I will not pay them isk for what I see is a matter of opinion
Robby Kasparic > And you dont have to
Robby Kasparic > But as with all interactions with others, it will have the potential for consiquences
It's interesting to note that everyone else in the KarmaFleet channel had a much more mature attitude than Beef did. He stuck out like a sore thumb. It's no wonder he was rejected.
Beef Punchmeat > Right, however Vulkyn disagrees with me, which is fine, but I noticed he just rejected my application. I belive this is because of our disagreement. I find this to be odd in a corp which claims to welcome all.
Robby Kasparic > I have known Vulkin for some time, and I do not belive for an instant that he would reject someone wihtout good reason
Vulkyn > Our public rules are: dont be an asshole.(but we do have som esecret things we reject people for... whihch we can't talk about)
Beef left the channel in a huff. But his grievances against KarmaFleet and the mighty CODE. alliance only grew. He needed another outlet to voice his discontent. He found one.

Beef went to Reddit and unloaded on both KarmaFleet and CODE., complaining that his attitude about the Code had gotten him blacklisted by a supposedly neutral, welcoming corp.

Normally, the EVE subreddit would be receptive to criticism of Goons and (especially) CODE. Yet Beef's tendency to rub people the wrong way asserted itself even here.

Beef isn't one to give up, though. He hopped back and forth through the replies and defended himself against the attacks. Although Beef was persistent, he showed a lack of willingness to learn. His attitudes about the Code remained uninformed:

Instead of learning about and embracing the Code, he dug in his heels. However, the fact remained that no matter how persistent he was, Beef was not going to be able to join KarmaFleet.

Eventually, Beef realized that his only option was to join a corp that accepts all applicants. Though Pandemic Horde Inc. wasn't his first choice, it did give him access to nullsec. Now, at last, he could escape from his anti-Code history.

Or could he?

Even deep within Pandemic Horde space, the consequences of harboring bot-aspirant beliefs caught up with him. While out in his ratting Raven, he was killed by a four-man gang who had no apparent ties to the New Order. Then one of the four dropped a link to Part 1 of this MinerBumping post in local. Enraged, Beef posted another Reddit thread about this latest insult.

Minutes later--as this story was going to press, in fact--I was notified of Beef's new outburst on Reddit.

Even now, Beef is still fighting the bad fight. In the interest of fairness, here is the rest of Beef's "statement":

I will never back down in game, or in real life. When I see people acting like they are somehow better than other for some arbitrary reason, I'll say something. I will call people out when they act like they are better than anyone else.

Other people can stay quiet. Other people can insult me, they can destroy digital assets, but they can never take away my ability to speak. I don't know if I am even in the majority when it comes to CODE. I don't know that my position is even all that popular. What I do know is that I will never keep quiet when I see people try to enforce unfair, and unjust arbitrary rules because they can impose a negative status.

Anyone in real life can break into my home, kill me, and take my stuff. I could defend myself, but there is no guarantee I would win. In the event that this happens to me, I will still rail against it. I will call it what it is, crime. The only authority I believe has the power to decide what happens to my life is the United States Government. I recognize the authority of this government, and its subordinate governments of the states. I recognize this authority not because they have weapons, but because I get a personal choice in who represents me in this government.

The people who enforce CODE with violence do not have my support, nor do they have my silence! I will not accept the authority of a self imposed, self elected group over anyone outside of that group. Any miner who want's to support CODE, with the public display of a permit purchased with ISK they made, I have no issue with you. You have made a choice, and as long as it was of your own free will, I will never call you wrong. I may disagree with CODE, but I will never disagree with a choice anyone has made.

For the people hunting me, for the people who want to blow up my ship and my pod out of the sky, I say fine. I understand and accept that this may be how you have fun, how you blow off steam. Although I can't understand what would drive a person to generate fun for themselves by causing distress in others. I cannot wrap my head around why some people would want others to suffer, and revel in what is really speculative suffering as they can never really know what is going on in the head of the other player. They laugh and joke about inflicting misfortune on others and it simply makes me wonder.

What happened to the people who act like this? Did mom not give them enough snuggles? Did dad never tell them he loved them? Maybe they were bullied in school, and the only way they can keep their shattered mind intact is to visit an approximation of the suffering they receive onto others.

If this is the case, I welcome this out pouring. Pour your hate into me if that is the only way you can stop yourself from acting out in real life. If hunting me saves some other exumer from being harassed, bring it on. Camp the stationed I am docked at, wreck every ship I launch into the void. I can take it, let me be the hatesink so that others may play in peace. I welcome the storm pro CODE forces will supposedly bring upon me. I have survived much much worse than anything you can do to me.

So yes! As a reward dear reader for trudging through that massive block of text I will say it clear. I hereby affirm and declare to this site and to all of New Eden, Fuck CODE. Fuck it, and the rifter it came in on! I will stand still in Times Square and allow the entire population of Earth to kick me square in the dick before I give any CODE enforcement group one red cent!
What are we to make of all this? It's simple, really. If you're a carebear who has ambitions of ever leaving highsec, obey the Code now. It's the only way you can have a future anywhere in EVE. If you have a history of resistance, biomass your character and start over--or beg for the forgiveness that only the New Order can provide.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Bot-Aspirancy Goes on Your Permanent Record, Part 1

What do people really think about the Code? We know what the rebels think, but they're Goofuses. What about people in nullsec, for instance? Today, we'll take a peek inside the KarmaFleet public recruitment channel to find out.
Vegan Spyder > After I've submitted the application via website do I just wait for a recruiter?
Hydrium Eternite > Vegan Spyder Yes, the recruitment process usually takes up to 72 hours but can be longer depending on the queue.
Beef Punchmeat > Im on day 5 right now, but they have been in contact with me
Hydrium Eternite > No worries, we're working hard to clear out the queue. Recent events have brought out all the people wanting to join so we've been slammed more than usual lately.
Beef Punchmeat > I'll bet
Beef Punchmeat > It brought my ass back after being off for 4 years
KarmaFleet is one of the most popular destinations for players seeking to find a home in nullsec. Among them: Beef Punchmeat, a highsec miner with dreams of making it big.
Vulkyn > No hands were harmed in our CO2 coup.
Beef Punchmeat > Suggestions of hand harm, who would do such a thing?
Vulkyn > Beef Punchmeat you still don't have a mining permit....
Beef Punchmeat > Nope, I wont buy one, that is rank extortion
The very first thing potential KarmaFleet recruit Beef was asked about was his lack of a New Order mining permit.

The man doing the asking was Vulkyn, an official KarmaFleet recruitment officer. If you apply to join KarmaFleet, Vulkyn is one of the people who decides whether you get in or not. And he does his job very well.
Vulkyn > So you support people who bot?
Beef Punchmeat > No, but at the same time, I am not paying some self appointed dude isk to maybe save me from gankers.
Vulkyn > Self appointed? They were voted in.
Beef Punchmeat > By who? The CSMs are not the CODE dudes
Vulkyn > They were voted in by the entire population of highsec (by proxy)
Like a lot of important people in nullsec, Vulkyn is well versed in the Code. Beef soon found himself in a job interview where he was asked about his own opinions of the Code. So far, it wasn't looking good for the job applicant.
Phoenix Flames > I'm going to assume since you're in this channel that you want to join KF, which would mean highsec would cease to be relevant
Beef Punchmeat > How the hell does that work, and Yes, I assume that I would be moving out to the Imperium
Vulkyn > CODE does a great job of getting people to leave their solo highsec mining life, and join a community of layers somewhere else.
Some people will tell you that the great powers of nullsec either ignore or look down upon the mighty CODE. alliance. Although that's true of the poseurs classified as "Nouveau Null", most significant people in nullsec recognize the importance of what we bring to the game as a whole.
Beef Punchmeat > Right, and I disagree with the notion that someone in a game, that I pay an actual company for the pleasure of playing, would seek to dictate to me how I should and should not play
Tami Okanata > Beef Punchmeat are you objecting to people shooting spaceships in a game about shooting spaceships?
Beef Punchmeat > Not at all, I am objecting to being asked to contribute to a group of people seeking to extablish arbatray rules. Go after bots for all I care, I dont use them. But CODE does not seem to have total control over thier agents, nor do they accept that I
Beef Punchmeat > Need to be able to walk away from my keyboard on ocasion
Once someone makes the move out to nullsec, one of the first things he might notice is how many of his fellow players regularly read MinerBumping. The terminology they use is instantly familiar. Beef, too, spoke in terms familiar to our readers. Not because Beef reads MinerBumping, but because he was a typical highsec miner.
Tami Okanata > If you need to go to the bathroom, just dockup. The CODE has a whole section on this.
Hydria Eternite > If you have the force projection needed to enforece your rules, your rules are the law.
Tami Okanata > And as the CODE always wins, it's the law. Always.
Beef Punchmeat > That is despotism, which I do not support. And why should I dock up? I am willing to take the risk of being ganked
Tami Okanata > But if you do that... you might look like a bot. And... well see today's post about that....
The MinerBumping article referenced on this day was the Avoid Even the Appearance of Botting post. Here's a protip for anyone planning to interview with a nullsec corp: Make sure to read the day's MinerBumping post before you go to your interview. There's a good chance you'll be asked about it, so make sure you're prepared to discuss it intelligently.
k0p3 > well the first time coode gankes me i was pissed aswell
k0p3 > however i read al the stuff they send me
k0p3 > informed myself and they failed the scound time
k0p3 > thats why i paid them
k0p3 > just becourse they teached me something
Aram Viscart > I never even saw them but after 3 nights reading minerbumping I donated
Some of Beef's peers were also waiting their turn in the recruitment channel. They made comments about their own view of the Code. Their views were better than Beef's.
Beef Punchmeat > I havent been ganked by them, I dont think I will because I tend to follow the code anyway, but I wont pay anyone a penny for nothing
TestMonkeY > hey guys, put my application in yesterday, not heard anything :D whats the usual time for getting reviewed?
Aram Viscart > Be patient
Aram Viscart > Go gank some miners
Beef began to sway with the breeze. He noticed that the sentiment of the channel was pro-Code, so he claimed that he mostly obeyed the Code--with a 10 million isk exception.
Hydria Eternite > Basically what the Code is doing is teaching you how to not lose your ships. Neut in system? Neut landing on grid? Be aligned already and warp out when they land.
Beef Punchmeat > Ya, well I disagree with them. They are playing a game, and thats fine, but I dont have to support them. At the same time I havent donated to the aint CODE groups. I just dont belive in giving my isk away for nothing. They should be more than able to
Beef Punchmeat > fund themselves if that is the path they want to take
k0p3 > well code dosent need youre money
The simple fact was, Beef showed all the signs of being a bot-aspirant. He probably assumed that he'd be able to make a fresh start when he finally cut ties with highsec and tried to head out to nullsec. He was wrong.
Tami Okanata > You might not donate, but lots of other people do:
k0p3 > i think its just to show them that you are someone that has learned the leason
Beef Punchmeat > Great, so whats the problem then? I wont donate, and the game wil go on.
Beef Punchmeat > They havent taught me shit
Beef dug in his heels. It was too late to pretend to be a Code-compliant miner, and he knew it.
Cyrina FaithWeaver > code has an excellent reimbursement plan for suicide ganks
Aram Viscart > They don't need your support or mine. I donated because they provide me with countless hours of entertainment through their website
Hydria Eternite > The code teaches all.
Hydria Eternite > Even if that lesson is join a corporation and get the hell out of highsec.
Beef Punchmeat > I am happy to pay the people who made the game. I will not pay other players for nothing
The miner was stubborn and greedy. He wouldn't part with even a nominal amount of isk--not even to save highsec. Needless to say, Beef didn't come across as a team player.
Beef Punchmeat > brb going to smoke
Hydria Eternite > I read it when I'm at work, I love the kills of the week.
Aram Viscart > I originally disagreed, too, but seeing the kind of people who live in hisec through that site and what they do to add content to the game, I changed my mind
Tami Okanata > Also: stop mining alone, join a group and have fun. At least play Cards Against Humanity with other people while you mine.
Beef took a quick smoke break. It's not hard to imagine why he was feeling a bit stressed. And when he returned...
Beef Punchmeat > Back
Beef Punchmeat > And no, I wont stop mining alone. I find it relaxing, and if that is how I want to play this game I will
Beef Punchmeat > And IF I get ganked I will accept that, but I wont be saying 'Good Fight' to anyone, and I wont be paying any one money for nothing
Beef Punchmeat > Really Vulkyn?
Vulkyn > Eh?
Beef Punchmeat > You denied my application. I have a feeling its because I dont agree with how the CODE is set up
To be continued...

Monday, September 25, 2017

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 18

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Georgia B Dixie reigned supreme in the Gelhan system. After weeks of training, most of Mission Ready Mining's miners learned to dock up and log out whenever they saw a bumper enter the system. Some, like Orca pilot Le Anne, stuck around, only to be bumped into submission. Le Anne repeatedly threatened to file petitions with CCP about the "illegal" bumping, but to no avail. It was time, at last, to get MRM leadership involved--at the highest levels.

While Georgia was dealing with Le Anne in private chat, she also bumped other miners and kept up with Gelhan local chat. One of Georgia's bump recipients simply logged out in frustration, prompting a comment from MRM member Gai Heiyuu.

Gai Heiyuu was, in fact, the CEO of Mission Ready Mining. MRM had well over 2,000 members, so he had plenty of other matters to keep him busy. But Agent Georgia and her predecessors had caused such consternation among the ranks that Gai had no choice but to report to Gelhan himself.

The CEO was uncertain of how to address Georgia. He was the leader of the sixth-largest corporation in all of EVE. Georgia, by contrast, was only a single character in a bumping ship. What possible difference could she make? On the other hand, Gai's legions had proven utterly incapable of stopping her, and the complaints kept pouring in. He had difficulty keeping his frustration from boiling over.

In overseeing an organization the size of Mission Ready Mining, Gai had dealt with plenty of personnel issues before. However, it was clear that he'd never encountered someone like Georgia. She was an Agent of the New Order. She couldn't be bought off.

Gai didn't bother threatening to send thousands of MRM warriors against the Agent. Combat didn't scare Georgia, and they both knew it. So the MRM CEO attempted to manipulate Georgia into going somewhere else and leaving his miners alone. It didn't work.

Suddenly conscious that his loyal corp members were watching him, Gai switched gears and tried to do some morale posting. This, too, failed. And the power dynamic was clear to all: Georgia was totally in command of the situation.

Gai grew concerned. He'd gone to Gelhan in the hopes of intimidating the lone bumper. Instead he found his own aura of authority being diminished. He was outmatched.

Gai Heiyuu went silent. Georgia had an inkling that the CEO would take some time to rethink his approach, then return at some point. Georgia didn't care about all that. Her sole focus was the enforcement of the Code. So it continued.

If the masses of MRM had hoped for deliverance from their fearless leader, they were disappointed. Georgia went on bumping as before.

Gai's morale-boosting strategy of proclamations about Georgia "barely interacting" and being "irrelevant" went by the wayside. His own miners didn't believe it. They freely admitted that the Agent shut down their mining operations. No matter! They could always make up the difference by giving more real money to CCP.

Georgia looked down upon the miners of Gelhan from her vantage point, the very pinnacle of power. She stood unopposed. Was there no one in Mission Ready Mining who could challenge her?

To be continued...