Over Two Trillion Thirty-Four Billion in Shares Sold

Dax Dixon was in a good mood--and good people benefited from it:

Aiko Danuja received 315 shares courtesy of Dax, enabling her to earn a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ by proxy for taking us past the 2,031 billion isk mark.

Dax's generosity paid off. But this is the New Order of Highsec we're talking about. Dax wasn't the only benefactor this week:

Everything is connected. Agent Donatien Alphonse Francois's love of dolphins turned out to have significant ramifications for highsec: His purchase of 3,150 shares on the dolphins' behalf took us past the 2,032, 2,033, and 2,034 billion isk marks and earned the friendly sea creatures a Triple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

There was more:

Not a bad investment strategy for a four year-old. But Donatien's financial savvy would only reach full bloom later, when he was old enough to play EVE and purchase shares of New Order stock.

As if anyone needed more incentive to invest in the New Order! But they've got it.


BONUS!

Agent Krig Povelli recently assisted a Russian streamer in sharing some content worth streaming. Krig's contribution to the Twitch stream begins at around the 1:01:00 mark.

I don't think I'm spoiling anything in saying that our Agent killed the streamer, who lost a Kronos valued by zKillboard at 1.4 billion isk and a pod worth 376 million isk.

Much better publicity than a bunch of PvE, no?

Dealing with Roleplayers

EVE Online is famous for its epic feuds: Goons versus Band of Brothers. The New Order versus the bot-aspirants. Et cetera.

Ardof Kanderson didn't know it yet, but he was about to take part in one of these spectacular clashes of will.

Ardof's opponent was the formidable Agent Mildron Klinker. Their battle would become the stuff of legends.

Mildron ganked Ardof's Retriever. You see? Wasn't that exciting?

After the dust settled, Ardof sent a message to the warrior who had ganked him. Rather than paying Mildron the money he was owed, Ardof chose to engage in some sort of roleplay. It was a poor decision.

A couple days later, Ardof was greeted by his nemesis. Mildron was willing to let bygones be bygones, provided that the miner cleaned up his act.

No EVEmail that contains a link to the Code is ever wasted. In the time that passed since their last encounter, Ardof had gone back and read the Code. He misinterpreted it, but at least he read it.

Mysteriously, the miner saw the Phantom Provision in the Code. But our Agent knew how to deal with such things. Mildron invoked the words of a classic MinerBumping post from 2014:

"Even the new miners know about the Code. The New Order's presence is too big to ignore, even for a bot-aspirant. They don't need a 'warning' before they get ganked. They've already been warned. Carebears of highsec, the time for warnings is over. The time for payment has come."

Even as Ardof scribbled a reply, he found himself ganked again.

...While streaming on Twitch, no less.

The Leremblompes system basked in yet another fine example of justice being done. (Well, the good people basked, anyway.)

Victory belonged to Agent Mildron. If only the miner had listened to his wisdom, he might have shared in the joys of the Code. Instead, Ardof wrote another EVEmail--but not to his ganker.

Despite some polite words, Ardof made the mistake of seeking equality with the Saviour of Highsec. He fancied himself a "Plague Lord", but the reality is that he was just another unlicensed miner. He should've roleplayed a Code-compliant one.

Holiday Filament Cheer

Nbr1derp Dallocort had every intention of spending a lazy day mining in highsec with an Orca. Even more brazen: He planned to stream the whole thing on Twitch for the world to see!

While Nbr1derp's Twitch stream was in progress, he received a private convo invite from a stranger named Kanye North.

Kanye claimed to be part of the anti-Code resistance--a natural ally to unlicensed miners like Nbr1derp.

Kanye North > yo
Kanye North > im following krig
Kanye North > i have a killright from when he tried to gank me
Kanye North > can you get me a warp in on him
Nbr1derp Dallocort > ok
Kanye North > gonna get this fucking guy

Nbr1derp had total confidence in Kanye, who was hot on the heels of a dangerous New Order Agent. The miner joined Kanye's fleet to assist him.

Then something wonderful happened.

Nbr1derp found himself teleported along with Kanye into the Fountain region. Kanye had activated a special "holiday filament" which allows fleets to open a direct portal into a random nullsec system. To prevent this mechanic from allowing players to have excessive fun, the filament only works if everyone in the fleet has his safety switched off. Nbr1derp's safety was set to red, so Kanye was able to bring him to nullsec. When the miner realized what had happened, he immediately set a course for highsec.

Kanye North > i want 150m to stop shooting
Kanye North > and 200m to take you back to hs
Kanye North > otherwise ill kill you
Nbr1derp Dallocort > Kanye North fuck off you all are just ass holes that cant win a reall fight

Kanye was incensed by the lack of faith that Nbr1derp had demonstrated by activating his warp drive. Before Nbr1derp's Orca could get away, Kanye tackled him and demanded a ransom.

Nbr1derp Dallocort > fuck off
Nbr1derp Dallocort > you are a losser
Kanye North > pay me 150 ill let you go
Kanye North > i dont wanna kill you
Nbr1derp Dallocort > yeah right
Kanye North > i really dont dude

The last thing Kanye wanted was to get unnecessary blood on his hands. Yet there was no escaping the fact that Nbr1derp owed him money.

Nbr1derp Dallocort > if you really wanted to make isk then you would do it the right way
Kanye North > this is easier
Nbr1derp Dallocort > fuck off
Nbr1derp Dallocort > you have no honer
Kanye North > i do
Kanye North > i swear on my life

In most situations, EVE players do not honour ransoms. However, Kanye was fully prepared to let the Orca go free if Nbr1derp opened his wallet.

Kanye North > send me 150m i stop shooting right now
Nbr1derp Dallocort > FUCK YOU
Nbr1derp Dallocort > kiss my ass
Kanye North > ok how about
Kanye North > you send me 10m
Kanye North > ill send you a mining permit
Kanye North > then i wont have to kill you cause youre a code compliant miner

For just 10 million isk, Nbr1derp could have saved his Orca--worth many times as much. But the miner was a Goofus. He didn't have the sense to put his trust in Kanye.

Nbr1derp Dallocort > go fuck your self
Nbr1derp Dallocort > you cant do reall pvp yo loser
Kanye North > please calm down miner
Nbr1derp Dallocort > i dont give a shit
Kanye North > :(
Nbr1derp Dallocort > go fuck yourself

Kanye couldn't believe his eyes. The miner was basically killing his own Orca, all while streaming his own poor sportsmanship to Twitch.

Kanye North > this entire thing hurts me more than it hurts you
Kanye North > but thats the price we pay for order in highsec
Nbr1derp Dallocort > blablalba
Kanye North > i hope one day you can accept james into your heart
Kanye North > have a nice day

For whatever reason, Nbr1derp couldn't bring himself to enjoy the holiday filament experience.

With a heavy heart, Kanye collected the Orca killmail and was treated to the sight of a beautiful explosion. It didn't have to be this way.

To Nbr1derp's surprise, his Twitch audience--such as it was--sided with the Code.

But the miner shouldn't have been surprised: People love a winner. And the CODE always wins. Always!

Over Two Trillion Five Billion in Shares Sold

Isk continues to pour into the New Order share program--EVE's first and only share program based primarily on the promotion of truth and justice rather than mere profits.

zyk0 upgraded his holdings with a purchase of 500 more shares, which took us past the 2,005 billion isk mark and earned him a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. He wasn't the only one purchasing shares recently, though:


BONUS!

More unorthodox share purchases came in from Agent Aiko Danuja, who honoured an NPC--as well as the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, which is not an EVE corp but a real-life entity of some note.

The occasion for Aiko's share purchases was the destruction of a Rattlesnake, which belonged to a streamer...

Somewhat unusually, the streamer was Russian:

Did you know that Russian carebears stream EVE on Twitch?

Bot-aspirancy is a universal problem. The solution, too, is universal: The Code.


BONUS BONUS!

In case you missed it:

Agent FloppieTheBanjoClown of the Belligerent Undesirables wrote a guide to Min/Maxing the Catalyst Gank. In case you're in to that sort of thing.

Over Two Trillion Four Billion in Shares Sold

As I say often, people buy shares in the New Order for all sorts of reasons.

Let me give you a little piece of advice, dear reader. If you think you hear crystals telling you to buy shares in the New Order, you buy shares in the New Order.

Donatien Alphonse Francois gets it. He bought 1,000 more shares on behalf of Stable Veldspar, which took us past the 2,004 billion isk mark and earned the ore another Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

Good crystals.


BONUS!

Good things are happening all over highsec. A very small percentage of those good things get filmed.

YouTube: EVE Stream Snipe 2 - Croleur, Sinq Laison

A miner is never more open to positive change than when he has just lost his mining ship--or when he has witnessed another miner lose one.

Stories of Holiday Joy

Our Agents do so many good things for highsec. Among them: Spreading the joy of the holidays. Today, Agent Krig Povelli shares three different joys.

New Corp Joy

Agent Krig's alt, Lucy Inthesky Withdiamonds, made the acquaintance of a highsec miner.

Lucy was pleased to see that The Pallid Mask was an open, welcoming miner. Sociable miners are so much more likely to be Code-compliant.

Just a few minutes after meeting The Pallid, our Agent was invited to join his corp.

But Lucy had a secret.

Our Agent's confession poured out of Lucy's combat drones. It was a very honest conversation.

Lucy truly did care for The Pallid Mask, but an Agent's greatest care is always for the Code. The Pallid Mask had violated the Code. He was punished for it.

Lucy was kicked from the corp. No matter--other miners needed joy, too.

Jetcan Orca Joy

A fellow named Rictor VonBrunn decided to AFK mine while sitting next to an unpiloted Orca. He used his Orca as a cargo container! So Krig bumped the miner away and supplied the Orca with a pilot.

Krig was pleased to be given the chance to educate Rictor further about how to play EVE. The miserly miner had never given anyone isk before.

Even better, Krig got to teach the miner about the contract system.

Rictor's holiday joy cost some money--more than he'd anticipated--but it was well worth it.

Kill Right Joy

One day, Krig happened upon a carebear who was absentmindedly mining with an active kill right. When you're an Agent of the New Order, good things always come your way.

Krig activated the kill right, tackled the miner, and struck up a conversation with him. TieLight received the joy of being commanded to buy a mining permit.

TieLight paid the 100 million isk ransom and also chose to buy a permit from Krig. But, as Krig candidly told him, the mining ship would need to die as punishment for TieLight's crimes. Besides, EVE is a game about blowing up spaceships, not letting them go.

So it was that Krig Povelli killed the Mackinaw on behalf of... Krig Povelli?

As it turned out, Krig and TieLight had history together. Why, the whole encounter had been a reunion! Thanks to the Code, the joys of highsec will never cease.