Saturday, October 31, 2015

The Hero from Lowsec, Part 1

Bing Bangboom > Miner of Kino ! By choosing to mine in this New Order system you have agreed to follow the New Halaima Code of Conduct.
Bing Bangboom >
Bing Bangboom > Each miner must have a one year mining permit, available from any Agent of the New Order for 10,000,000 ISK.
Bing Bangboom > Any miner without a permit is subject to bumping or ganking.
You hear that? It's the sound of Order being established.

Agent Bing Bangboom was among the first to join the New Order. He's seen carebears do a lot of crazy, bot-aspirant stuff over the years, yet he has never for one second lost faith in highsec's potential. He remains absolutely convinced that highsec is worth fighting for.
Nero Jove > Bing doesnt your constant citing of your cult leaders rhetoric get old?
Nero Jove > for you i mean
Nero Jove > certainly old for me
Bing Bangboom > Miners complain that they haven't been asked to buy a permit before they die.
Bing Bangboom > I don't want anyone to not understand what's going on here.
A rebel popped up, making some complaints about the local Code enforcement in Kino. Bing effortlessly dismissed the carebear's hypocrisy and resumed his important work.
Bing Bangboom > Kill: Leiah0 Skywalkah (Retriever) no permit.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > new halaima code of conduct really?
Bing Bangboom > its all at
Leiah0 Skywalkah > i already read it. one sexually frustrated mans attempt at making himself feel important on the internet
Leiah0 Skywalkah > eventually this world is going to be gone and none of this shit is going to matter
After being penalized for mining without a license, Leiah0 Skywalkah wasted no time in giving voice to her nihilism. Billions of years from now, the loss of her Retriever--and everything else--will have been meaningless. What a downer. Is holding to such a philosophy worth it, just to avoid paying for a 10 million isk permit?
Bing Bangboom > Leiah0 Skywalkah it matters now
Bing Bangboom > and has, for the last three years
Bing Bangboom > Welcome to the future!
Leiah0 Skywalkah > no it doesnt' i could quit eve lol
Bing Bangboom > Why do miners think that threatening to quit means anything to anybody?
Robbed of the ability to mine in highsec without a permit, Leiah0 was almost ready to quit the game forever. Bing was unmoved. His eyes were on the prize: 100% Code-compliance in Kino.
Nero Jove > well bing if large numbers of people quit this game amid slow downs in recruiting new players then it is lost for everyone that enjoyed it
Nero Jove > so douche bag behavior is NOT wanted
Nero Jove > so to dumb it down quit being a douche bag
Bing Bangboom > its players that think they can siddle up next to an asteroid in a 35 million ISK ship, start the lasers and then go do the laundry who are killing Eve.
Bing Bangboom > We are saving highsec and Eve at the same time.
Nero Jove > ear plugs going in
As usual, the rebels disengaged once Bing won the debate. EVE isn't the only thing that carebears quit when they lose.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > and i wasnt' doing laundry either
Bing Bangboom > you were AFK
Leiah0 Skywalkah > you want me to orbit or some shit
Leiah0 Skywalkah > and the no language are you muslim?
Leiah0 Skywalkah > because i just purchased this ship and was in disbelief
Still reeling from her loss, Leiah0 struggled to understand what had happened. She surmised that Islam might've had something to do with it.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > if i wanted to get mirked i'd go to low sec
Bing Bangboom > I mean, you come into a New Order system... and then do the specific thing we don't allow....
Bing Bangboom > it was sort of inevitable.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > you're making it impossible for people to get established and preying on the same people
Bing Bangboom > only bot aspirants.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > you're already doing a shitty thing
It had been seven months since Leiah0 joined EVE, and she was still trying to master the art of highsec mining. Another example of the New Order picking on newbies.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > where can i go to seek refuge from the halaima code
Bing Bangboom > well, we are the New Order of Highsec... so.
Bing Bangboom > leave highsec
W0lf Crendraven > lol
W0lf Crendraven > as if
W0lf Crendraven > you guys suck
W0lf Crendraven > and do nothing
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a mysterious champion appeared. W0lf Crendraven happened to be passing through Kino on his way back from lowsec. His indignation was mightily aroused by Bing's uncouth treatment of Leiah0 Skywalkah.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > whatever im just going to leave kino lol
W0lf Crendraven > if they bump you or gank you just pick another highsec syste
W0lf Crendraven > a few jumps away
Leiah0 Skywalkah > thanks are you in a corp wolf?
W0lf Crendraven > yes
Bing Bangboom > I suggest Kamio
W0lf Crendraven > Vii- belt 6, come and duel me m8
Bing Bangboom > duel? How quaint
W0lf advised his young charge that the New Order lacked the manpower to patrol more than a small number of systems; a few jumps in any direction would see her safely delivered from their clutches. The grateful carebear offered her thanks to her unexpected rescuer. But W0lf's work wasn't done yet. He aimed to put a stop to Agent Bing's villainy once and for all. W0lf challenged Bing to a duel. At stake was the honour of Leiah0 Skywalkah and the rest of Kino's miners.

To be continued...

Friday, October 30, 2015

The Emergence of Gameplay

Many people wonder what a New Order Agent's EVEmail inbox looks like. Is it completely filled with tears, rage, real-life death threats, etc.? No, not completely.

...Because the fact is, highsec is populated by countless supporters of the New Order. Most people are reluctant to embrace change, but the smartest know a good deal when they see one. And the Code is the best deal of them all.

Knackered Old Goat has been playing EVE on different characters for several years. Like so many other EVE players, he lacked guidance. He fell into a pattern of grinding isk, which is ultimately unfulfilling.

Even those who seek PvP may run into difficulty. This is especially true when PvE'ers swarm highsec due to the risk/reward imbalance, rather than providing the base of the PvP food chain elsewhere. The recent failure of nullsec alliances, some of whom relocated to lowsec, has breathed new life into that area. Still, EVE struggles.

CCP has spent years working on the "new player experience". They've bestowed countless advantages upon the newbies. But the newbies leave anyway. Something is missing. The new players can't be retained.

...Unless a thing happens.

The Code is the missing ingredient. It has given countless players a reason to play the game. And every Agent, being imbued with the power of the Code, is an inspiration. Who wouldn't want what the Agent possesses? They're genuine EVE celebrities wherever they go.

The mere presence of an Agent in local rescued Knackered Old Goat from a dismal life of carebearism. Empowered by his New Order friends, he helped destroy a Mackinaw.

It's incredible to think how many players' fates have been altered merely by looking at Agents' bios. They are not only Agents of the New Order; they're Agents of destiny.

CCP, take note. The New Order improves player retention and encourages players to get multiple accounts! And to think, so many theme park advocates have spent all these years encouraging CCP to remove highsec aggression.

Some say that ganking is too easy. Such critics all share one thing in common: They've never successfully executed a suicide gank themselves. When those who support nerfs start dunking freighters, maybe we'll have a reason to listen.

A chance encounter with a New Order Agent made all the difference. The carebear was transformed into something special. Something powerful. Something to be feared, respected, and obeyed by his former peers in the asteroid belts.

The future of highsec--and everyone who resides there--is in good hands. Namely, ours. After all, we've earned it, haven't we? We create the content.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

James 315 Tactics, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... For eight years, Soleexpo's sole activity in EVE was highsec mining. Then he encountered Mal Warre, who opened his eyes with a spectacularly executed gank. Upon being offered a permit, Soleexpo condemned the "asshole James 315 tactics" being used against him. Yet he admitted he needed a permit to avoid further destruction.
Mal Warre > don't regress
Soleexpo > Please don't patronize me... You know as well as I do that I'm not doing any of this out of some sort of loyalty to your order... I am doing it to assure that I experience no further loss of assets to this temporary rule of James 315.
Mal Warre > that really is the wrong attitude to take
The miner wasn't a changed man; he was an opportunist. It's a step above full bot-aspirancy, but not nearly as high as we aim for in the New Order.
Mal Warre > I've offered you a rich eve experience
Mal Warre > I would think gratitiude would be the primary thing you feel
Soleexpo > No, you offer me an Eve experience that is fraught with constant concern that you or one of your fellow agents will jump into my local system without my notice and that I will subsiquently be without one more exhumer.
Mal Warre > Exactly
Mal Warre > You are now actually playing eve
Mal Warre > with people
The two different visions of EVE came into conflict once again. Soleexpo didn't want excitement in the video games he played.
Soleexpo > What? If I am only now playing eve... with people... what was I doing those other 8 yeas?
Mal Warre > Well I have no idea what you have been doing with or without others
Soleexpo > Durring the fall and spring semester I don't have the time required to commite to your unreasonable expectations.
Mal Warre > Then perhaps you are plaing the wrong game?
The idea of mining while at the keyboard was too much for Soleexpo. Actually being present at the computer while playing a computer game constituted an undue burden.
Soleexpo > So now you are presuming to tell me which game I should play?
Mal Warre > I simply observing that since you cannot play EVE properly it perhaps isn't the right game for you
Soleexpo > Correction, since my willingness to prioritize my education above my attention to this game, in the ways you see fit, you feel it best if I just stop playing all together.
Soleexpo > This is vastly different from me not being able to play eve properly.
In the New Order, we place a very high value on education. Indeed, we've provided educations to many EVE players over the years. We do, in fact, allow players to attend classes and do homework--on their own time. When you enter highsec, the Code takes priority over such things.
Mal Warre > I admire your drive for education.
Mal Warre > but since it is interferring with eve
Mal Warre > perhaps eve should be put on hold for you
Soleexpo > Wow... because there is nothing more to Eve than mining and paying for permits.
Mal Warre > There is much more to it than that
Mal Warre > And since you seem overwhelmed playing at the lowest level
Mal Warre > maybe finishing your academic year before you log on again is in your best interest
Soleexpo balked. He expressed, for the first time in eight years, an interest in EVE activities outside of mining.
Soleexpo > lol, wow... You are some kind of amazing! Your insight is unparalleled.
Soleexpo > So how long does it take for James 315 to send me my permit?
Mal Warre > I will
Mal Warre > once you meet the requirements to be a permit holder
Mal Warre > apology letter, 50 mil isk, etc.
Soleexpo > When did it go from 50 mil? I thought it was just the 30 mil you quoted me, minus the 10 mil I already sent...
The uppity miner considered himself above the law. He was ready to pay for a permit, but only on his own terms. Unfortunately, he was getting himself into a deeper hole.
Mal Warre > Your attitude overall has gotten you into 20 mil worth of additional trouble
Soleexpo > When?
Mal Warre > just a tad too much sarcasm
Soleexpo > That wasn't sarcasm, that was contempt.
Mal Warre > and now you;ve accured an additional 30 mil penalty
As the Code teaches us, EVE is about more than money. That's why the Code contains many requirements that have nothing to do with isk. Soleexpo was unwilling to show respect to his superior. He probably didn't even accept his position at the bottom of the EVE hierarchy.
Mal Warre > so let's call it 60 mil
Mal Warre > we'll go in 30 mil ticks from here
Soleexpo > What earned me the additional 30 mil?
Soleexpo > offering clarity?
Mal Warre > Guess minding your tounge may be something to start practicing?
Ironically, the more time Soleexpo spent at the keyboard, the more trouble he got himself into.
Soleexpo > You do realize that most of the manners that you've distilled from our conversation is fabricated by the lense through which you've read it right?
Mal Warre > Given that I am the agent, it is my perception that matters
Soleexpo > Interesting... I hate what you do, I hate who you've aligned yourself with; but I must admit, I admire your loyalty and persistence in continuing this conversation. I'm working on that apology letter now and I'll send it over A.S.A.P.
Agent Mal Warre had succeeded in getting the miner to calm down. That was the good news. The bad news was that the miner was growing increasingly postmodern. He wouldn't allow our Agent to define his reality. However, defining reality is well within our Agents' authority--since carebears are so bad at handling it.
Mal Warre > You can always join us.
Soleexpo > I'm already comminting all the time I can afford just paying for exhumers, but thanks for the suggestion.
Soleexpo > Maybe, if your organization is still around when I graduate.
Mal Warre > we will be
Mal Warre > so what are you studying
Soleexpo > Astronomy and Physics with a minor in Bioastronomy
The miner was fascinated by the stars. Some say the stars are our future. This is speculative. We know that the Code is our future, and the highsec carebears need to remain grounded by something real. Highsec has seen the alternative, and it's not pretty.
Soleexpo > Do you guys own any Ice fields?
Mal Warre > all of highsec
Soleexpo > Quick question; the code only restricts the use of profanity in Local. Why are you counting it against me in private chat?
Mal Warre > Respect to agents
Soleexpo > So, even if I am prone to profane outbursts, I am expected to put on a facade for any and all agents?
Mal Warre > No different then what we do with real agents of social control, no?
Social conventions held no appeal to the starry-eyed miner. No wonder he'd spent eight years mining by himself.
Soleexpo > Wait... while we're drawing parrallels between fantasy and reality, can James 315 be impeached, or more likely, overthrown?
Mal Warre > but why would we want to
Soleexpo > I abhor his code...
Mal Warre > only because you are getting used to being held accountable as a player
Soleexpo > Also, the judicial system in the country from which I play dispenses justice based on actions, and intentions not words...
Mal Warre > So you are not an American then
Finally, Soleexpo made a full confession. He "abhorred" the Code. Underneath it all, he was just another rebel.
Soleexpo > I really don't understand your persistent need to goad me with your claims against my particular game play style... It isn't very respectful.
Mal Warre > It is not goading. It is simply a statement of reality.
Soleexpo > Correction, it's a statment of opinion based upon an arbitrary code derived by one player to impose his will on others.
Mal Warre > many dislike this accountability
Mal Warre > at first at least
Soleexpo > lol, you are blindly loyal aren't you? There are many frequencies in the electromagnetic spectrum and your's is but one wavelength. Your unwillingness to recognize the myriad of differing views saddens me.
Soleexpo's vision was one of pure chaos. Incredibly, he dismissed the value of the unifying force of a single Code, even though he was surrounded by empirical evidence of its benefits.
Mal Warre > Don't regress
Mal Warre > Apologize sincerely
Mal Warre > or not at all
Soleexpo > Peace out, we'll see you in nullsec
Mal Warre > either works for me
The eight-year veteran of the highsec asteroid belts promised to take revenge in nullsec, or something like that. Mal Warre concluded that for the moment, the miner was too immature to accept his responsibilities. Soleexpo was going through a rebellious phase, sampling different frequencies from the electromagnetic spectrum, as he put it. Our Agents, with their wisdom, know better. In highsec, there is only one light. Everything else is darkness and bot-aspirancy.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Broadcast 4 Reps

There's been a lot of buzz lately about Coffee Rocks and the "Broadcast 4 Reps" project. It's an effort to assist EVE players who are struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. As Coffee Rocks put it in his stickied EVE-O thread,
"We talk a lot of crap to each other. We gank you. You pod us. We blob you. You take our Sov. We post losses on the forums and subreddits and laugh at each other and go off in local chat. That's all in the context of playing the video game. The trolling ends when you Broadcast For Reps. Carebear or ganker; Sov Lord or wormholer; LS pirate or HS roleplayer; brave newbie or bitter veteran - We are all part of the same community, and it is as awesome and diverse as it is because you are part of it. And we are here for you in your time of need just as you would be there for us in ours."
Though Broadcast 4 Reps has been around for a while, it got a big boost when CCP employees and notable EVE players teamed up to create this YouTube video about the project.

CCP's official EVE twitter account tweeted about it, and CCP also aired the video during EVE Vegas. Our own Agent Tengu Grib is among the players who speak during the video.

If you watch the video, you'll notice that there's no attempt to downplay the uniquely cutthroat nature of the competitive PvP sandbox that is EVE Online. Quite the opposite, in fact: The players promise to burn to ashes all that belongs to their enemies. They'll scam you for everything you own, destroy all your ships, and yes, maybe even harvest some of your tears. But that's all within the rules of the game, and it's completely legitimate--as evidenced by the participation of the CCP employees in the video.

This is an important point, because it's only after we accept what is legitimate gameplay in EVE that we can draw the distinction between EVE and real life. Without the distinction, groups like Broadcast 4 Reps wouldn't be able to offer real-life help to those in need. That's something the "Ganking Is Bullying" movement never understood.

To emphasize the point, the video concludes as Agent Tengu Grib wishes everyone farewell with a hearty "Praise James!"

Among the "Ganking Is Bullying" crowd and their sympathizers, there's a hope that the New Order is illegitimate, or exists in a gray area, or that CCP simply hasn't gotten around to banning all of the suicide gankers, wardeccers, "extortionists", etc. So was it a controversial choice to include a New Order Agent in this video--one made with the assistance and endorsement of CCP, no less? Coffee Rocks explains:

A worthy project and a point well made. If Coffee Rocks comes to highsec, he still needs to buy a permit, though.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

James 315 Tactics, Part 1

EVE's learning cliff is famous throughout the video game world. EVE is so complex that even the most experienced players can learn something new about the game.

Take Soleexpo, for example. He has been playing EVE for more than 8 years. He has spent that entire time mining in highsec. Judging by his Mackinaw fit, Soleexpo is still learning the craft.

Now it was time for him to learn even more about highsec mining. If he wanted to take his mining up a notch, he would need to learn the Code. Luckily, Agents Mal Warre and Ilithyia Borgia were generous enough to tutor him. And by "tutor", I mean kill.
Soleexpo > Why?
Mal Warre > You do not have a mining permit
Soleexpo > WTF, I pay one guy and then another guy comes and kills me?
Soleexpo > Extortion much?
Mal Warre > I saw no mining permit posted in your bio
Soleexpo > What? Where am I supposed to get one of those?
Although Soleexpo had been ganked several times by our Agents over the last few months, he struggled to understand his situation. He couldn't get his story straight. On the one hand, he claimed to have already paid; on the other hand, he had no idea what a mining permit was.
Mal Warre > You can send 10 mil isk to myself
Mal Warre > please review
Mal Warre >
Mal Warre > this link will explain your responsibilities as a permit holder
Soleexpo > I'm aware of the asshole James 315 tactics, now give me my fucking permit and leave me the fuck alone.
Mal Warre saw right through Soleexpo's lies. Now the miner could only admit defeat at the hands of our Agent's masterful "James 315 tactics" and do his best to acquire a permit.
Mal Warre > Well - such rude manners
Mal Warre > Now you will need to send James an apology
Soleexpo > like the asshole who just destroyed my ship with no warning and for no reason?
Mal Warre > and the price of your permit just went up to 30 mil
Soleexpo > James can suck my nuts if he wants a goddamn apology!
Mal Warre > miner calm down
The permit-purchasing process is supposed to be joyful. Soleexpo's sour attitude threatened to ruin it for everyone.
Soleexpo > wait, wait... just a second
Mal Warre > Yes?
Soleexpo > So you destroy a 200mil ship to get a 10 mil pay day?
Mal Warre > a sense of satisfaction knowing you are reading about The Code
Mal Warre > It is not about money
Mal Warre > it is about sending a message
Soleexpo > What is the message? That you can practice gorilla warfar?
After being told to calm down, the miner actually did manage to calm down a bit. That's enough evidence to prove that it works, in case anyone accuses us of trolling.
Mal Warre > let's not go backward
Mal Warre > you were speaking of repentance
Mal Warre > are we still there?\
Mal Warre > I'd hate for us to lose the ground we gained
Soleexpo > yeah
Soleexpo > just finding your dickhole friends in the contacts
It is an Agent's responsibility to keep a miner on track. Detached from their bot-aspirant routines, a miner easily becomes lost. Mal Warre gently nudged the conversation back toward permit acquisition.
Mal Warre > now see that sort of regression will not be helpful
Mal Warre > so calm down miner
Mal Warre > and let's move forward with your apology
Soleexpo > Now, what was my mistake again?
Mal Warre > 1. mining without a permit
Mal Warre > 2. not giving a "gf" in local after pvp
Mal Warre > 3, Using profanity
Mal Warre > 4. Insulting the high protector
Mal Warre > 5. Insulting various New Order agents
Carebear apologists say suicide ganking is too easy. But consider how easy it is to be a Code violator. In a short period of time, Soleexpo had earned quite a rap sheet--and this was a guy who could barely fly a Mackinaw!
Mal Warre > Is there anything I missed?
Soleexpo > How would I know which of your arbitrary rules I might have transgressed?
Mal Warre > You should also eliminate the snark from our discourse
Mal Warre > Well seeing as you are an 8 yo character
Mal Warre > you should be well aware of the law of highsec
Soleexpo > I am... that's why I'm pissed that your rep didn't get me my permit...
Soleexpo > and it just cost me another 200mil... plus the 10mil i wasted in the first place
Faced with the prospect of spending 10 million isk, the miner moaned that he'd already paid someone before. Yet his bio was devoid of any evidence of the payment. Nor was the miner able to come up with the name of the Agent he'd purchased a permit from, or anything else to support his story. What a mystery.
Mal Warre > you answer to us, not the other way around
Soleexpo > I answer to no one...
Mal Warre > as for not answering to anyone... Kill: Soleexpo (Mackinaw) this says otherwise
Soleexpo > How so?
Soleexpo > That just says you can drop in and gank an exhumer? Not that hard...
Having spent 8 years doing nothing but shooting asteroids that can't shoot back, Soleexpo still found it within himself to look down upon the gankers. It's kind of like a gazelle saying he's unimpressed by lions, because all lions can do is kill gazelles.
Mal Warre > as for dropping your barge - the ease of the task is not relevant
Mal Warre > you equipment is wrecked
Soleexpo > So I pay you some 30mil, minus the 10mil I already sent, and I put the 'permit' in my bio and you leave me alone for a year?
Soleexpo > So, if I decide to do some mining while studying for an upcoming exam you won't come kill me?
The miner peppered our Agent with practical questions about the Code. It's a good thing, too, because it was obvious he needed more help.
Soleexpo > Okay, so how to I know you're an agent? does everyone have it posted in their bio?
Mal Warre > I would set CODE. and Goonswarm Federation to blue
Mal Warre > that will help
Slowly but surely, Soleexpo was getting the information he needed to survive in highsec. Maybe there was hope for him yet.
Soleexpo > What assurances do I have that you lot will behave as you say? I seem to be getting double crossed by your organization... or people claiming to be a part of it.
Mal Warre > I have no idea who you dealt with before.
Mal Warre > But The New Order is the epitome of integrity.
Mal Warre > If you have a permit displayed and are following The Code
Mal Warre > then you are citizen of highsec
Mal Warre > and not a criminal
Mal Warre > therefore you have nothing to fear
Soleexpo > OH MY GAWD! So infuriating...
But the miner could barely keep his temper in check. If he failed, the whole process could be derailed in an instant.

To be continued...

Monday, October 26, 2015

The Agent of Mystery

There are many ways to enforce the Code. Most of them are very straightforward--so obvious even a miner can understand them. Others are more enigmatic.

An inconspicuous Agent named Harlequin Croft appeared in the Balle system and began requesting payment for mining permits. She had no combat skills or killboard history. Her simple frigate simply orbited the miners, who, fearing the Code, began to dock up one after the other.

Sthenelos Tau ganked the frigate, but was soon won over by Harlequin's nonviolent approach. He actually sent her 10 million isk for a permit, though he had no intention of mining. Local rebel Sol epoch was infuriated.

Harlequin was open about the fact that she had no firepower at her disposal. She drifted across the system in a pod, occasionally re-shipping into a rookie ship.

Sol epoch was utterly baffled by Harlequin's behavior. It wasn't what he expected from an Agent of the New Order. What was she up to?

Sol demanded that Harlequin leave the system. At other times, Sol demanded that Harlequin do something to enforce the Code. But she wouldn't.

Balle was treated to the traditional highsec trash-talk between two players who were both docked up a station. But unlike Sol epoch, Harlequin freely admitted that she had no intention of doing anything. She wouldn't even make threats.

Incredibly, Harlequin was selling permits merely by asking politely. Most miners docked up in terror, but to Sol epoch's chagrin, at least one permit had already been sold.

Sol sounded like an angry miner. Most rebels get upset when they experience--or even witness--a suicide gank. Harlequin wasn't ganking anyone, but still managed to enrage the rebel.

With a few thinly veiled threats, Sol declared the conversation over. That was that.

...Yet the rebel found himself unable to think about anything else. The riddle of Harlequin Croft's conduct was driving him mad.

Finally, Sol repeated his demands that Harlequin duel him or leave the system. Harlequin undocked in a rookie ship.

Sol could only grit his teeth. Why wouldn't this Agent explain herself?

The Agent passively sat outside the station in her pod. Even this quiet, harmless act was enough to send the rebel over the edge.

Try as he might, Sol epoch couldn't crack the Code. The unarmed Agent remained in Balle to pursue her mysterious agenda. A few days later, Harlequin was victorious in combat in Balle when she famously used snowballs to provoke a rebel into CONCORDing himself. That event was recounted in the celebrated "A Snowball's Chance in Highsec" series. Yet the full story behind Agent Harlequin Croft must remain a mystery. Some time later, Harlequin Croft vanished into Doomheim, never to be seen again.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Kills of the Week

"If there were no miners, you wouldn't have any ships," boasted the self-righteous carebear. To which the wise Agent replied, "If there were no Code, you wouldn't have any content!" Let's celebrate the New Order's wisdom and gift for content creation with a review of some kills from the week of October 18th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 24th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

The rebels demand to know why the New Order picks on newbies in Ventures. For one thing, CCP reported that Ventures are the most-botted mining ship in EVE. For another thing, Gar'iss Algaert.

Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri welcomed the Venture pilot to Uedama in the traditional New Order fashion. Gar'iss will have the next six months to figure out what he did wrong.

Krysty Milbi probably knew that Hulks are notorious for their lack of tank, so she packed as much tank onto the ship as she could. Judging by her blingy shield hardeners, she fully expected an attack by a Catalyst or some other hybrid-wielding vessel. When the attack came, however, it was actually Agent Leeroy Banner in a Legion. You see, Krysty forgot that her corp was in the middle of an active wardec. I'm sure her mining op was urgent, though.

Becks Miromme had about a billion and a half isk in datacores that needed moving. How do you transport all that cargo safely in modern highsec? Well, Becks began with a standard octuple-anti-tanked industrial, but that wasn't enough. He added three Medium Shield Booster IIs. It's funny how active tanks are preferred by so many inactive players. Before the bot-aspirant could return to his keyboard, Agent HotShotX Warcastle had already enforced the Code against him.

I'm old school. I wasn't thrilled when CCP introduced the strategic cruiser class, since it appeared to be the very sort of do-it-all "solopwnmobile" that CCP had always promised it wouldn't create. But when I look at Callie Ohaya's Loki, I have to admit that it doesn't seem that overpowered. Agents Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri and Winnie Po0h took it down easily. Was this one of those "ships that can't shoot back"? Do probes count?

In the movie of life, Wayne Rand0m considered himself an extra. But the New Order sees the value in every single player who enters highsec. Our Agents saw his 3.5 billion isk Bowhead slowly lumbering toward the Uedama trade route and wanted to encourage Wayne to make more of himself. The heroic Agents, Jason Kusion, loyalanon, Capt Starfox, Winnie Po0h, John E Normus, PV Rock, Gunther Cucs, Matt Issier, Ilithyia Borgia, Sasha Cohenberg, Mal Warre, and Jayson Kusion, challenged Wayne to greatness with a barrage of antimatter. I don't know if he got the message, though. It was probably the first time anyone had ever believed in him.

Kiki Paige edged out a victory in the contest for Pod of the Week. The prize was the loss of her 2.79 billion isk pod, which was destroyed by Agent Aaaarrgg. The runner-up in this contest was none other than Wayne Rand0m, whose Bowhead loss was followed by the loss of his 2.76 billion isk pod. Congratulations to both participants. As a bonus, they can get their very own New Order mining permits for free*!

*Please include ten million isk for shipping and handling.

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #91

Concerned rebel onlookers often ask, "Why doesn't anyone stop the New Order? Surely it can't be because of their greatness or their Code." To defeat the New Order, the rebels would first need to come up with a plan. Now it seems they've got one:

Elite PvP'ers from Provi and highsec jump bridges? That can only mean it's time for another edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

DrysonBennington has his secret weapons, and we have ours: DDoS attacks employed with such surgical precision that they only disconnect a single freighter pilot.

Anti-Ganking was infuriated when they learned that the New Order wasn't going to help them fund an event. It's just as well. Anything that comes from Anti-Ganking, no matter how well-intentioned, is bound to be toxic.

Ever wonder why you can send a personalized message when you notify someone that you're adding them as a contact? I'm convinced that it's intended as another tear distribution mechanism.

Tom Omaristos was displeased when his illegal mining operation was terminated by a member of the Proper Mining Etiquette corporation.

Agent Street Urchin arrived not a moment too soon. Tom desperately needed to go to finishing school.

However, Tom saw little value in etiquette, and he had no patience for social climbers.

But the New Order doesn't believe in dynasties or aristocratic privilege. In modern highsec, every miner can aspire to become a Gallant.

A nihilistic carebear declared that highsec belongs to nobody. Actually, highsec belongs to all of us, and therefore we all share a responsibility to make it a better place. That's why everyone agreed--or was deemed to have agreed--to comply with a set of rules. Didn't this guy ever read the Code? This is exactly why carebears needed a responsible person to vote as their proxy.

Romulis Blakk claimed his pod was defenseless. He must have forgotten about his pod's ability to instantly warp away whenever threatened. No wonder he lost the duel.

It's a pleasure to watch highsec become more Code compliant each day. Limay Greyjoy demonstrated proper etiquette when greeted by an Agent in local. The benefits of civilization are well worth our efforts.

The notorious Lisanna struss, notable for his resistance to the Code, charming sister, and checkered espionage career, has had a change of heart. A pattern has emerged among the former rebels: The more they think, and the less they mindlessly grind isk, the more likely they are to realize that we're the good guys. Time is on our side.