Thursday, March 21, 2019

Dear Lewak

It's an unfortunate truth that our Agents are often misunderstood by the very people they help the most.

Agent Lewak has dedicated himself to the cause of saving highsec. This mostly involves killing people and telling them about the Code. Do they appreciate it? Not always.

We've seen how the miners frequently misinterpret the Code, leading to such phenomena as the "Phantom Provision". Our Agents' actions, too, get misinterpreted by the miners.

Rebellious miners are not particularly interested in understanding why they lose ships; they're unable to tolerate the self-criticism that would inevitably follow. When told what they did wrong, they lash out in anger.

Lewak isn't afraid of offending the miners--he's afraid of standing by and watching highsec destroy itself. That's what was going on in the days before the Code. Never again. Not while there are Agents like Lewak.

Is it possible that some miners genuinely believe Lewak is their enemy, and that he means to do them harm? Yes, it's possible. Carebears are known for making mistakes.

...But the ignorance of a miner does not in any way excuse his misconceptions or his misdeeds.

Consider the miners who flaunt their violations of the New Order Bathroom Protocol. "I wasn't AFK, I was going to the bathroom." So the miner is either lying (he was AFK) or telling the truth (he brought his laptop into the bathroom with him). Regardless, he is a Code violator--and it is his natural tendency to live in filth.

A Code enforcer is honourable and elite. He is also kind and generous: He expects a miner to uphold a basic standard of human decency. This is a compliment--unearned, but freely given.

"Without miners, you wouldn't have any ships," says the miner. Or perhaps, "Without miners, CCP wouldn't have any subscription revenue." All we require of the miner is a little proof that he can behave like a civilized adult. He can keep the ships and the subscription revenue (I'm sure CCP would agree).

It's one thing to help someone who will appreciate it. But to perform a good deed when you know that your beneficiary will despise you for it? That's true altruism. Our Agents are the most elite altruists in all of EVE.

On occasion, a miner will reply to a gank with an acknowledgement that our Agents' work is necessary. It is indeed. However, there's always the risk that the miner doesn't really mean it--that he's attempting to conceal his bot-aspirant intentions behind a false smile.

The Code always brings out the truth:

And the truth of the Code will set highsec free. Always!

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Disharmonious, Part 6

Previously, on MinerBumping... Harmony Order corporation's inability to obey the Code brought war upon its alliance, Gemini Whale United. As the wardec went live, one member of Harmony Order sought to break free from the Code by attacking a container.

The corp's CEO had already been ganked in the hours prior to the wardec. Now, King Kong Moose became the first casualty of war.

Originally, King had hoped to engage in a duel with Agent Viirilithizu. But because CCP has so far failed to remove faction police from the game (even though it's obviously a good idea), dueling a member of the mighty CODE. alliance is not always so simple.

King's impatience led him to commit the reckless act of trying to shoot a container. If he still sought to take up arms against CODE., he'd need to buy a new ship.

One ship loss would not be nearly enough to teach King the error of his ways.

But there was another unintended consequence of the ruckus King was creating in local: He was drawing the attention of other members of Harmony Order. The entire corp was still under strict orders not to speak with Agents or feed them kills.

Therefore, King was in defiance not only of CODE., but his own corporation, as well. The spectacle fascinated the Harmony Order members. They, unlike King, maintained their silence.

For whatever reason, King was confident that he could prevail, regardless of the ships used in the duel. Despite being heavily outnumbered in Harmony Order's HQ system, Agent Othya was willing to engage King in open combat at a prearranged location. The Code always wins, after all.

Othya and King met at the system's star. Our Agent chose to bring a Black Ops ship. At first, it appeared as though a gang of Harmony Order members might have been organizing an ambush. No such luck. Everyone but King was unwilling to undock. An actual 1v1 ensued.

...And King lost another of his Federation Navy Comets.

It was exactly the result that Harmony Order's "silent treatment" policy was intended to prevent. By remaining docked up and quiet, they hoped to bore CODE. into submission. Unfortunately, this had the effect of boring their own members--something King was not willing to tolerate.

A few hours later, he tried again. He lost another Federation Navy Comet, this time in a duel with Agent Ralliana's Brutix Navy Issue.

The wardec was only getting started, and Harmony Order's strategy was already an unmitigated failure. Could they adapt, or would the war lead to disaster?

To be continued...

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Over One Trillion Seven Hundred Forty-Nine Billion in Shares Sold

As you've probably noticed, the Code makes highsec sparkle. Today, highsec's sparkles were a little brighter and sparklier. Let's find out why.

Pyori Aldronov joined the shareholder club with a purchase of 1,000 shares. This brought our great effort to the 1,747 billion isk mark and earned Pyori a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

You can check out Zaenis Desef's Orca confiscation here. Bumping pays.

And the shares! Zaenis Desef purchased 1,000 additional shares, taking us past the 1,748 billion isk mark and earning him a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™, too.

Shall we go for one more?

Nakapai purchased 1,315 shares. You know what that means: We've reached the 1,749 billion isk mark. Nakapai earns a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ of his own.


Reddit user ihuntpidgeys (aka Haelam) added two more pieces of art to his gallery:

In his first piece, the artist draws our attention to a few of the Code enforcer's basic tools. Unlike the bot-aspirant carebears, who mindlessly repeat the same task over and over again, a Code enforcer creates a totally unique masterpiece with each act of Code enforcement. The carebear can only watch--in a state of absolute jealousy. He says, "You Agents do the same thing repeatedly, too." Yeah, in the way that Leonardo da Vinci just "created stuff" every day.

This piece speaks for itself. Pop quiz, gankers: Does this depict a Retriever, Covetor, Procurer, Mackinaw, Hulk, or Skiff?

Monday, March 18, 2019

Disharmonious, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... Almost immediately after Harmony Order corporation joined Gemini Whale United alliance, they began to regret it. The possibility of a war with the mighty CODE. alliance forced Harmony Order to open diplomatic channels. Yet this was not enough to prevent war.

Although our Agents were able to sell some mining permits to Harmony Order, the isk they received was not enough to bring Harmony Order up to a sufficient level of Code-compliance. War was the only option.

In less than 24 hours, war would begin--and bring all of its horrors with it. During this critical period, Harmony Order CEO Governor MrLee remained silent. As ever, he was utterly inscrutable.

Then, at the last moment, Agent Viirilithizu Ward spotted him.

But the CEO did not answer. Moa time.

Viirilithizu ganked Governor's Kestrel. The Harmony Order leader was totally unprepared. The war hadn't started yet, but our Agents are more than capable of shooting Code violators at any time.

Would this qualify as a "headshot"?

It was a target of opportunity. And no one takes better advantage of opportunities in EVE than the Agents of the New Order. Now, with Harmony Order's CEO suffering a humiliating defeat before the war even began, would anyone be willing to fight CODE.?

When the wardec went active, everyone in Harmony Order quickly scurried into their holes. Well, almost everyone.

King Kong Moose openly announced his intention to fight CODE.--alone, if necessary.

It's true that CODE. only fights when we know we'll win. To be fair, though, we always win, and we always know it. Always!

King Kong Moose was brash and boisterous. Yet Viirilithizu became intrigued by this unruly member of Harmony Order who refused to obey his own corp's policy about not talking to CODE.

Without the Code, however, pride can only precede a fall.

Previously, our Agents set up some secure containers near Harmony Order HQ to remind them of the Code's power and authority. To the rebels who lived in the area, those containers became a symbol of oppression.

Defiant, King Kong Moose suicided a frigate in an unsuccessful attempt to destroy the containers. Viirilithizu was astonished by the deed. But the madness of war had only begun to take its toll.

To be continued...

Sunday, March 17, 2019

Kills of the Week

On the one hand, EVE is a famously "difficult" game with a learning cliff. On the other hand, it's a game where the players make what should be a very easy decision: Embrace the Code, or be totally annihilated. Yet you'd be surprised how many silly carebears make the wrong choice. Let's have a look at some of the people who flunked EVE's Big Question from the week of March 10th @ 00:00 EVEtime through March 16th @ 23:59 EVEtime:

The Praxis, if you've never seen one, is a class of battleship. And apparently it's a battleship that needs a lot of capacitor modules, which it uses to run its... light missile launchers? That's what ECUTIA MOSE came up with, anyway, before being ganked by Agents Votre Dieu, Narl' Amhar, Astrid Tyrfing, and Rungerd.

Honestly, though, if this is the best you can do, you carebears may as well not fit your battleships at all.

...Looks like I walked right into that one. flash golia left her Nestor completely blank-fit. Agents Votre Dieu, Rungerd, Astrid Tyrfing, and Narl' Amhar put this atrocity out of its mercy, too. Despite having no mods, the ship was worth 3.7 billion isk. Dare I ask what was in the cargo bay?


MINING ST's own battleship fit wasn't quite so unconventional. But look at this guy's name. He's a miner to the core. Irony incoming:

Battleship killed by a mining ship. Agents Krig Povelli and The Mute (and an Agent-aspirant NPC) won another round of elite PvP.

Ah, Uedama. It's a system where some dreams go to die--and where others come to life. Kryptox's dream of a fortune made through AFK autopiloting was shattered. At the same time, the Kusions' dream of another dead freighter was realized. Statistically, fulfilled dreams are heavily concentrated among members of the New Order. I know it's unequal, but that's our system. Agents Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Josh Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jason Kusion, and Caution AsianDrivers Ahead made Uedama a nicer place to gank.

Mylez Teg is one of countless hauler pilots who have abandoned freighters in favor of using the less-conspicuous Deep Space Transport class to move their expensive cargoes. Only one problem: Our Agents see everything. There is no escaping the Code. Agents Narl' Amhar, Votre Dieu, Astrid Tyrfing, and Rungerd and their Tornado gangs have, in fact, been targeting ships just like this.

Johnathan Stewart is on a dark road. Today it's a blingy Covetor. Tomorrow--blingy Mackinaws, blingy Hulks? Agents Minx Mattel and Lewak believe in Johnathan. They want him to have a bright future. But for that to happen, Johnathan needs to learn what happens to blingy Covetors. They go boom. They always go boom. Always!