Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Contract Killer, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Maja Papaja had a grudge against one of her fellow anti-Code carebears. Having witnessed the awesome power of the Code in action many times, Maja decided to contact Agent Alt 00 and ask her to be a hired gun.

Things were getting real. Alt 00 unveiled her Caracal gank squad. Maja marveled.

Maja's enemy had a small fleet. Our Agent would select one of the ships for destruction.

The moment of action was quickly approaching. As any Code enforcer knows, ganking requires steady nerves. It soon became clear that Maja wasn't used to experiencing the art of the gank from this side of things.

Alt 00 calmly explained the complex machinery of a ganking operation, step by step.

When hunting carebears--especially a group of them--every second counts. They could move on at any time, without warning. The clock was ticking.

The tension grew. The success or failure of the mission would be determined by what happened in the next few minutes. Everything had to go flawlessly.

At the last second, Maja had an attack of nerves. Luckily for her, an Agent of the New Order was at the helm.

No more time for talk. This thing was going down.

Maja handed over the full payment of 1 billion isk to Alt 00. It would be the best billion she'd ever spent. Time to launch.

...After one minor formality was taken care of, that is.

What do you mean, "start"?

This is Alt 00 we're talking about. She never stopped.

To be continued...

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Contract Killer, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt 00 was contacted by the mysterious Maja Papaja, who wanted to hire her to gank an unidentified enemy. Intense negotiations ensued.

Aside from the billion isk upfront fee, Maja was getting skittish about the gank itself. Our Agent assured her that the mighty CODE. alliance knows how to kill stuff in highsec.

Now that she was seriously contemplating paying Alt 00 a billion isk, Maja couldn't help but feel anxiety about the whole thing. She drew strength from Agent Alt 00's invincible confidence.

'Twas time to move things along. Alt 00 was eager to get paid.

Maja fretted about the details; our Agent indulged her.

The plan began to take shape. But Alt 00 never forgot her primary mission: to see justice done in highsec. Subtly, she tested Maja to learn more about her true intentions.

Finally, Maja revealed the name of her main target. It was a familiar one.

...For Alt 00 had dealt with the individual in question.

Vantaanya's conduct ensured that not only had he failed to organize a successful anti-Code resistance during the Triglavian Invasion--he made active enemies of his would-be supporters!

It's safe to say that Vantaanya's reputation couldn't get much worse. But Maja was the one ordering the hit.

When Alt 00 learned the location of the intended target, she decided to organize the gank fleet in Aufay instead of Nakugard.

Maja was summoned to Aufay so that she could see the fleet was real.

And it was a glorious sight to behold.

To be continued...

Monday, July 15, 2019

Kills of the Week

Blackout or no, the light of the Code always shines through. Always! And now that killboard data is available once again, please enjoy these kills from the week of July 7th @ 00:00 EVEtime through July 14th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

Let's get right into it. Coryn Malice is your classic case of an isk-tanking bling addict. He assumed that the more money you put into a ship, the more powerful it is. He was wrong. In fact, his lack of a simple 10 million isk permit overrode all the billions he invested in his Marshal. By contrast, Agents Astrid Tyrfing, Narl' Amhar, Votre Dieu, Rungerd, and Wilhelm Scylding diligently obeyed the Code and triumphed easily--no bling required.

Raegel Larethian was perfectly willing to spend 2 billion isk on his Hulk, so long as he didn't need to spend any of it on tank modules. Apparently he ran out of money just before he got around to filling in his midslots--and his permit slot. Agent Dmitrij Vladimirovic paid him a visit in a Catalyst and won the 1v1.

Suppose a miner wanted to lose even more than Raegel? Well, he could go down the path taken by Quai Chi and Quai Smith, who lost two blingy Hulks in a simultaneous gank expertly performed by Agents Astrid Tyrfing, Rungerd, Narl' Amhar, and Votre Dieu. Sorry, miners, sporting bling in the form of shield mods is still illegal. Try to exercise some modesty.

Khat Amarr wanted to send billions of isk worth of cargo through the Niarja chokepoint. He knew that using a freighter would be suicide, so he used a simple tier 1 industrial ship. Don't worry, he equipped some shield mods! Ah, but he couldn't resist anti-tanking with his lows and rigs. A single Agent, Ksenya PROXY, was enough to take down this Code violator.

Back to basics: After a long stay in Jita, the Kusion family returned to the warm, inviting simplicity of Uedama. Clarissa's Clone picked a terrible day to try to smuggle a freighter through the system. She was greeted by Agents Jason Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Joshua Kusion, and Caution AsianDrivers Ahead, who bathed Clarrisa's Charon with antimatter and torpedoes. That's Uedama for you!

Romeo Slider probably didn't expect to lose his Daredevil and pod to the mighty CODE. alliance in lowsec. But, on occasion, the New Order Outreach Division visits lowsec as well as null. Agent Ripley Kaga fired up some smartbombs in the always-engaging system of Amamake and popped Romeo's implants.

There were no mining implants to be found in this lowsec dweller's pod. Of course, the only way to find out what's in a pod is to destroy it. CCP should create a pod-scanning module at once. I'm confident that doing so would boost subscription revenue.

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Contract Killer, Part 1

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt 00 and her fellow Code enforcers brought peace to the Uedama system by putting down a rebellion during the "Triglavian Invasion" PvE event. Just as things seemed to be getting back to normal, Alt 00 was contacted out of the blue by a mysterious stranger.

Anyone who enforces the Code for any length of time becomes accustomed to receiving convo invites. Such invitations are full of possibilities.

Maja Papaja wasted no time: She had a business proposal for our Agent.

Maja was a stranger, but Alt 00 had an intuition that she was a miner. Our Agent sought to test her.

For some reason, Maja had a vendetta against some PvE'ers who were participating in the Triglavian Invasion event. And she could think of no one better suited to killing them than the mighty CODE. alliance.

Alt 00 did not reject Maja's proposal. But she did insist on being paid a billion isk up front, no questions asked. Naturally, Maja rejected that requirement out of hand. But she was interested enough in arranging the hit that she shifted her focus to negotiating other terms.

There was no doubt that Agent Alt 00 was capable of raining death and destruction on any carebear in highsec; Maja expressed no skepticism about Alt's capabilities. However, Maja was worried about the cost. And, perhaps, she wondered if Alt would break the contract once the isk was paid.

Both parties negotiated intently. Maja offered 500 million isk. She should have known, though, that when it comes to negotiations or anything else, the Code always wins.

Maja came to realize that Alt 00's pricing formula was hard to argue with. To ensure that our Agent would not scam her, Maja suggested that she would pay once she saw the gank ships in space.

Maja couldn't help but be impressed by Alt 00's professionalism and determination. Agents of the New Order aren't fazed by anything.

Alt 00 was perfectly happy showing off her gank fleet--that much she would've done for free. It would be displayed in Alt 00's Nakugard headquarters, though.

As the negotiations continued, Alt 00 sprung a surprise on Maja: Our Agent recognized her as someone who had tried (and failed) to interfere with ganks in Uedama!

There was little left to discuss. Either the Anti-Ganker was willing to hand over a billion isk to a CODE. member, or not.

To be continued...

Saturday, July 13, 2019

The Invasion of Uedama, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt 00 and her fellow Agents took control of the situation when the "Triglavian Invasion" brought PvE'ers into the Uedama system. But anti-Code carebear Vantaanya threatened to revolt against their authority.

Agents in the Uedama neighborhood gathered around to help. It was obvious that Vantaanya had a problem. But what was the precise nature of that problem?

Vantaanya boasted that he has been playing in EVE longer than the Saviour of Highsec. Actually, Vantaanya was created 5 years later. He must have been referring to his anonymous main. Perhaps a freighter pilot who had been repeatedly ganked?

The carebear proudly proclaimed his wormhole roots. So why was he so concerned for the safety of highsec miners?

Vantaanya again brought up his conspiracy theory that the mighty CODE. alliance is full of gank-bots. In truth, there's not a machine on earth that can do what our Agents do.

Agent Ange des Larmes grew concerned. Unlike a typical gank recipient, Vantaanya's anger was not subsiding with time. Our Agent had to get to the heart of the matter.

Vantaanya put his cards on the table. He was certain that CODE. was solely responsible for the fate of EVE and CCP. He was right about that, but not in the way he thought.

According to Vantaanya, EVE's only hope for survival was for Pearl Abyss to ban suicide ganking. If that's their plan, they're going about it in a very circuitous way. Maybe they'll get around to it after they're done experimenting with nullsec.

The Vantaanyas of the world think that EVE would be a much more compelling, dynamic game if highsec was 100% safe. Then players could stay in highsec forever and grind isk endlessly while AFK. Surely that would capture the imagination of people who don't play EVE. Someone ought to go fetch CCP's marketing team (if they still have one).

Agent Alt 00 had heard quite enough from Vantaanya. It was time for her to deploy a truth bomb. She linked CCP's famous study about the effect of ganking on player retention. How would Vantaanya respond?

Vantaanya went silent and disappeared. I suppose he had a lot to think about. In the meantime, his anti-Code rebellion had been quashed--another victory for the New Order!

But the Triglavian intrigue was only just beginning.

To be continued...