Saturday, April 25, 2015

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #78

If you receive an EVEmail and the subject reads, "Hey Fuckface!", it might be time for another edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag.


Gabriel Starrunner told Agent Snigie Audanie that he would never, never buy a mining permit. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Our wallets are filled with the isk of those who will "never" pay.


...And I'm not joking. Gabriel lasted about a month and a half before he relented. In time, everyone in highsec will obey the Code.


I don't know if I'd call CODE. a "clan", but it's as real as it gets.


I always enjoy seeing the rebels come up with original excuses for things. Here, Trevor Kado came up with an unprecedented motive for opposing the Code. It's not that he's anti-Code, he merely thinks there are enough Agents already and doesn't want any more. He's trying to enforce some kind of quota?


John Sorcerer, too, engaged in a bit of creativity. He reported our Agent to CCP because the CODE. corporations are all in his contacts list. At least, I think that's what he was trying to say. Apparently CCP couldn't make sense of it either, since the petition was denied.


Another benefit of being ganked by the New Order: It serves as a reminder of the existence of the Code. Otherwise they might forget all about it, as FalZeeNNKiLLeR KiLLeR did.


In a previous edition of the Grab Bag, Gavin Keikira promised, "Trust me this is not over." Normally he'd be wrong, since carebears who make that promise typically skitter away into a dark corner and don't show their face again. But now some New Order wardec professionals are seeking out the corps of miners who make such threats.


As a result, Gavin's corp, Tactical Delinquents, is getting a taste of the consequences of harboring an unruly carebear.


I'm sorry, but I don't believe the miners who claim that they were only AFK for a few seconds when they got blown up. Either our Agents have exquisite timing (which they do, but still), or the miners are AFK for longer than they claim. Take DragonStar Kanenald's excuse about going AFK to get a drink of water. How long does that take? Maybe he went across the street to drink from his favorite water fountain. Maybe he went on a trip to the Serengeti to drink from a watering hole. This is why we have a zero tolerance policy for AFK mining. You know these people will abuse any leeway we give them.


Tell the truth, receive bounties.


Highsec is indeed supposed to be a secure sector--secure from bot-aspirancy.


Carebears love to bluff. Even after Agent Guybertini already checked Montgomery Kilstroke's bio, Montgomery continued to insist he had a permit there. He didn't. A nice bluff, but it's kind of pointless to do that after you've already lost your ship.


The comments left on MinerBumping posts are often filled with additional carebear tears. It amazes me that a carebear could immerse himself in New Order content and not learn from it. Though the style of the tears may change, the anguish behind them remains the same from year to year. Still, modern tear-producers could learn a thing or two from the classics.

Friday, April 24, 2015

The Most Shocking Confession

The New Order does not commit acts of senseless violence. All of our violence is perfectly sensible. Because carebears understand that the kills are motivated by the Code, each kill we earn has its own ripple effect. Highsec may be pictured as a space covered in tens of thousands of our overlapping ripples. No wonder everyone in highsec is talking about us.


The death of Jaraxxus' faction battleship at the hands of Agent Nicolas Dupre was highlighted in the most recent Kills of the Week post. Jaraxxus was less than one month into the game before he lost this 1.5 billion isk battleship.


Jaraxxus was a member of a faction warfare corp. That's why Nicolas, a member of an opposing faction, was permitted to kill Jaraxxus without CONCORD interference. Most carebears would take a loss like that pretty hard. On the other hand, Jaraxxus was a member of a corp dedicated to "honour" and "pride". Surely the carebear would display both of those qualities.


...Or would he?
Jaraxxus > why...
Jaraxxus > I didn't though you can engage me
Jaraxxus > in amaar space
Jaraxxus > like nothing
Jaraxxus > without getting atacked by milita
Jaraxxus > in high sec
Nicolas Dupre > I AM being attacked by the navy
Jaraxxus was a little upset and confused about his death. He found the faction warfare mechanics to be unintuitive. (Somebody call the CSM!) As Agent Nicolas continued to keep Jaraxxus' pod warp disrupted, Jaraxxus logged off.
Jaraxxus > what
Nicolas Dupre > Hi again, not sure why you logged?
Nicolas Dupre > I thought I should explain since you were confused
Nicolas Dupre > The navy were attacking me while I was attacking you
Jaraxxus > all i know i lost a ship i famed past 2 weeks for
Jaraxxus > I won't be able to afford new plex becose of that
Nicolas Dupre > That's EVE
Jaraxxus > I knwo what eve is
When Jaraxxus logged back in, Nicolas still had his pod tackled. He wanted to clarify the faction warfare mechanics that Jaraxxus had asked about. The carebear wasn't interested; he was preoccupied with thoughts about money. Typical.
Jaraxxus > you didn't cought me becose of your ownage
Jaraxxus > you cought me cuz i was afk
Jaraxxus > I was afk becose i was in high sec
Jaraxxus > becose last time i played eve
Jaraxxus > you didn't even exist
It didn't take long for Jaraxxus to admit his guilt. He'd assumed highsec was 100% safe. Though his current character was new, he'd played EVE years ago, before the New Order was around to give highsec its current flavor.
Nicolas Dupre > Well I guess that's your fault for going afk while in space and at war then
Jaraxxus > and that occured one day before i was about to drop my corp
Jaraxxus > it was not cooperation warfare
Jaraxxus > i did not expect that to happen
Nicolas Dupre > Factional warfare is still war
Jaraxxus > I already told you
Jaraxxus > I did not expect it to happen in high sec
The full magnitude of Jaraxxus' crime was extraordinary. He had decided to go AFK in a 1.5 billion isk battleship--while engaged in faction warfare--simply because that's what he thought highsec was for. He also claimed to be one day away from retirement. Everyone knows that's when you're at the greatest risk.
Nicolas Dupre > You have the protection of the NPC navy but I account for them
Jaraxxus > npc is worth same as rookie ship
Nicolas Dupre > Nah they're worth more than that
Nicolas Dupre > In 0.6, where you were, they do about 500 dps, 37.5 GJ/s neuts, web and damp me
Nicolas Dupre > It's definitely nothing to write off, the navy cost me a kill I definitely would've got yesterday
Agents of the New Order are natural educators. Nicolas explained, in detail, how he was able to operate in that particular area of highsec while engaged in faction warfare. Time for the carebear to thank him.
Jaraxxus > What are you trying to explain to me
Jaraxxus > i don't realy carte
Nicolas Dupre > Just being helpful
Nicolas Dupre > I'm a nice guy after all
Jaraxxus > You were not helpfull to me
Jaraxxus > I never liked factional warfare
Jaraxxus > that's why i decided to leave
Jaraxxus > it was pure luck
Jaraxxus > that you cought me like that
That's the thing about carebears. When they die, they say a game mechanic is unintuitive. Then, when they're told how the mechanic works, they don't care. They're not actually interested in learning about the game; they feel entitled to complete safety.
Jaraxxus > did you see how old my character is
Nicolas Dupre > Yes, very new I see
Nicolas Dupre > Why didn't you resub your old character?
Jaraxxus > I had to sell my account for real money
Jaraxxus > becose i got broke
Jaraxxus > got 340 e off it
The next confession was enough to shock even the experienced Agent. Jaraxxus was in the middle of a standard "I'm a new player, woe is me" rant when he admitted to RMT'ing his previous character!
Nicolas Dupre > Wow, er, you realise that's a bannable offense and I'm going to have to report that, right?
Jaraxxus > report anything you like
Jaraxxus > As you said
Jaraxxus > you are a nice guy
Jaraxxus > You are a bitch
The carebear showed no signs of remorse for his EULA-violating behavior. He snapped.
Nicolas Dupre > I think we'd best end this now before you confess to anything else
Jaraxxus > You are telling me you are reporting me becose i was explaining to you i sold my old eve account for real money just to save my real life?
Jaraxxus > make sure you report me
Jaraxxus > I want you to report mke
Jaraxxus > go ahead report me
Jaraxxus > put a screenshot also
The carebear raged. It's a shame he turned to madness so quickly--I'm curious about his claim that he had to RMT to "save his real life". It's so rare that a carebear produces an excuse no one else thought of before.


Nevertheless, Nicolas granted the carebear's request to be screenshotted and reported to CCP.
Jaraxxus > you always got a ticket in hand
Nicolas Dupre > Well CCP might go easy on you? I don't know
Jaraxxus > you are an idiot
Jaraxxus > And backstabber
Jaraxxus > The way you show in eve the way you are in real life
Jaraxxus > especialy in backstabber part
Jaraxxus > I hope you are proud of yourself
Jaraxxus > Cuz i woudn't be
The New Order has always taken a strong stand against RMT. Carebears come from all different walks of life. Some carebears are lawyers, others are plumbers. Some are disabled war veterans, and some work on strawberry farms. Regardless of their real-life professions, all carebears come into the game as equals. Just as their real money should not give them an in-game advantage, their in-game activities should not be motivated by real money. The Code should be enough.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Ore Buyback, Code Payback, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... The Sky Gods Fortune held hostage! CEO Scoot Sollete poured his money into the components for a "war-POS" and contracted them to trusted adviser and freighter pilot TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet. Then, in an unexpected twist, TheInternet reported that his freighter was being bumped by Siegfried Cohenberg, an Agent of the New Order with a lethal reputation.


Scoot, TheInternet, and Siegfried shared a TeamSpeak channel to negotiate the terms of the freighter's release. At the same time, Scoot and TheInternet had a private discussion in their corp channel.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i need 400m
Scoot Sollete > i don't have it. honestly.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > we're going to be out a lot of ISK if we can't come up with 400m more guys
The corp's fate rested entirely in Siegfried's hands. TheInternet recommended that Scoot pay the ransom. There was no other choice. Scoot couldn't do it. He didn't have enough isk to meet the demand.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > this is like 2b on the line right now
Scoot Sollete > if we get the thing killed, fuck it.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > its just 400m, I dont want to lose my freighter
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > can i borrow 400m from you
Scoot Sollete > I DON'T HAVE IT
Carebears hate to part with their isk. As pirates know, a carebear will almost always claim they can't pay the ransom. It's a matter of instinct. But TheInternet was not a pirate holding Scoot's ship for ransom; he was a full director of Scoot's corp. He reminded Scoot of the stakes.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I'll pay you back, and we'll save the POS
Scoot Sollete > it's in your freighter
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > can you borrow some
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > its just 400m tell your friends your POS will go down withjout it
For a third time, Scoot told TheInternet he didn't have the money. Everything he had, he'd put into the war-POS components that were currently sitting in TheInternet's freighter. There was no way to pay the ransom.
Scoot Sollete > i want to tell him that his mother hired him because his father is a black man
Scoot Sollete > who doesn't want a son
Scoot Sollete > not to sound racist
As Scoot considered his options, he felt a growing hatred toward Agent Siegfried.
Scoot Sollete > I'll sell a plex
Scoot Sollete > there
Scoot Sollete > check your wallet
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > thanks
Scoot Sollete > mkay
Scoot Sollete > here's all my fucking isk
At long last, Scoot found the money. It turned out he'd been secretly holding back a PLEX. With no other choice, he sold the PLEX and transferred the cash to TheInternet so the ransom could be paid. It was the honest thing to do, but it was certainly late in coming. Scoot did not show total faith.
Scoot Sollete > hurts me more
Scoot Sollete > goons has no fucking honor
Scoot Sollete > so.
Scoot Sollete > bet he won't live in null sec
Scoot Sollete > or head there
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > harder to mass recruit
Scoot Sollete > yeah. i know
Scoot Sollete > but kinda hard to deal with a fuckign shit ton of things
Deprived of his isk security blanket, the carebear's raw emotions shone through. He railed against the Goons. Scoot believed the Goon who held TheInternet's freighter hostage was too cowardly to live in nullsec. He made no judgments about his own choice to run a highsec-only industrial corp.
Scoot Sollete > some people have no fucking heart
Scoot Sollete > not like im going to but seems like ganking = shit tons of isk easy
Scoot Sollete > but it makes eve very horrible to play
Scoot Sollete > i honestly think war deccing should be removed now
Scoot Sollete > and if you gank someone, you should get banned
Scoot Sollete > null sec just seems more safe now
Scoot Sollete > never joining goons.
All of Scoot's true feelings came spilling out. Though he accused others of cowardice, he craved total safety for highsec. He wanted to completely eliminate ganking and wardecs from the game. Scoot's mind was a mess of contradictions: Siegfried was too cowardly to go to nullsec, but nullsec is safer than highsec. Ganking is too easy, but highsec PvE needs to be much easier. Carebear logic!
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > he let it go
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > he warped offf
Scoot Sollete > can i have remaining isk back
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > do you have any more PELX you can sell? I'll do hauler missions to get ISK back but we need blue status to grow the corp
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > or we're going to be targeted in the futuere
Phew! TheInternet was pleased to report that he'd been let go. An immense sigh of relief washed over the corp. However, TheInternet still needed to get his freighter safely back to the corp's HQ. He recommended additional money be paid to the New Order for blue standings.
Scoot Sollete > i don't have any more money
Scoot Sollete > like no shit no more money
Scoot Sollete > just get to saisio
Scoot Sollete > and dock to complete the contract
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > he has that system camped
Scoot didn't have any more money to pay to the New Order--for real this time. Unfortunately, this left TheInternet's freighter in limbo. In a stroke of tactical brilliance, the New Order was now camping the corp's HQ.
Scoot Sollete > can't you dock and reject the contract?
Scoot Sollete > are you in space?
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > can u round up 1b
Scoot Sollete > NO I CANNOT
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > its a good idea if we're ggoing to have some lattitude
Scoot Sollete > IT'S IMPOSSIBLE
Once again, TheInternet recommended Scoot make an extra effort to find some isk. Leave no stone unturned, he urged. The very idea made Scoot sick.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > you don't have any more PLEX?
Scoot Sollete > i just gave you the last one
Scoot Sollete > drop the contract dude
Scoot Sollete > tell me here dude
Scoot Sollete > I can't hear shit
Scoot Sollete > why? are you two spies?
Scoot Sollete > why are you telling him this anyways?
As it became clear that Scoot wasn't going to pay anymore money, the tone of the conversation on TeamSpeak changed dramatically. TheInternet and Siegfried began chatting like two old friends. Scoot couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Believe it or not, TheInternet was, in fact, an Agent of the New Order the whole time. The truth is, he wasn't really interested in setting up an ore buyback program. His only desire was to enforce the Code.

The freighter, if TheInternet even owned one, was never held hostage. The entire series of events was staged as means of testing Scoot's leadership. He failed. In his capacity as an Agent of the New Order, it was up to TheInternet to decide whether Scoot deserved to be the CEO of a highsec industrial corp. In TheInternet's judgment, Scoot wasn't ready yet.


Thanks to his earlier corporate maneuverings, TheInternet gained the ability to have Scoot removed as CEO of the corp. In Scoot's place, he installed Kaalatas Nebunaesa, the security consultant he'd brought on board. Kaalatas turned out to be an Agent of the New Order, too. He promised to usher in an era of Code-compliance.


Scoot disagreed with the corp's new direction and resigned on the spot. The corporation he'd founded would no longer pose a threat to highsec. It was a tremendous victory for the New Order and its Code. The doubters said it couldn't be done. Let this be a lesson to all the carebears--never underestimate an Agent of the New Order.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Over Five Hundred Ninety-Four Billion in Shares Sold


Pop quiz: What's better than buying New Order shares?


Why, buying even more New Order shares, of course!


Sarageth Vigram got some good advice from a true friend and decided to get in on the action. Sarageth's purchase of 115 shares sent us over the 592 billion isk mark and earned him a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. Listening to our Agents always pays off.


It's never too late to join a worthy cause. Nisanthro took the plunge with a purchase of 1,000 shares. This guaranteed our arrival at the next billion isk mark. 593 billion isk and counting! Nisanthro earned a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ for his efforts.


In the New Order, everything has its season. There's a time for victory and a time for even greater victory. A time for triumph; a time for spectacular triumph. And so on. Maria Malukker rang in the next season as only she can. With her purchase of 1,100 additional shares, she sent us over the 594 billion isk mark and earned herself a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. Now that's poetic.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Ore Buyback, Code Payback, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... A series of disasters struck The Sky Gods Fortune, a highsec industrial corporation. CEO Scoot Sollete faced the challenge of a lifetime as multiple crises arose simultaneously. His only good fortune came in the form of TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet, whom he met the day before and promoted to full director status.


The two most urgent problems were infiltrators and a wardec from a New Order-aligned corp. It was time to convene the war council. It consisted of Scoot and his most trusted advisor, TheInternet. At TheInternet's suggestion, the circle of trust wouldn't be widened for now.
Scoot Sollete > so internet, do you know anything about the alliance on how they operate? do they actually pew pew?
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Well their CEO's KB is pretty gnarly tbh
Scoot Sollete > gnarly like as in?
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > he seems to be fairly aggressive toward freighter pilots such as myself lol
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > A bit disturbing to see all those freighter KMs
It was as Scoot feared: The New Order corp was formidable. As a freighter pilot, TheInternet understood well the threat posed by such accomplished gankers.
Scoot Sollete > we can make a POS that we can use for war safety
Scoot Sollete > just place guns and hardeners
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > that's actually a really good idea, I doubt that these guys are capable of pos bashsing
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Although we do have time to get a POS up before the war goes live, in any case
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > a war-POS :D
Gradually, a war plan came together. The centerpiece of their strategy would be to quickly construct a "war-POS", capable of withstanding even the most fearsome attack. Having decided on that, the war council turned to discussion of the spies in their midst. TheInternet carefully considered what he knew.
Scoot Sollete > Vivi Flamez you okay?
Vivi Flamez > so far
Scoot Sollete > not tramatized?
Vivi Flamez > with that jerk kinda
Vivi Flamez > but i am mining
*FLASHBACK......*
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Vivi Flamez could be the leak
Scoot Sollete > i know
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > My suggestion would be that Vivi is a security threat, and should be kicked for 24 hours
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > until we have the POS up
Scoot Sollete > no.
Scoot Sollete > lets play it through.
TheInternet urged the expulsion of one of the corp's miners. Scoot had his suspicions as well, but he would not take action against the miner. Appearances mattered. On the eve of war, the corp needed to look strong and unified.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I'm going to check with one of my merc contracts to get some advice on the situation btw
Scoot Sollete > kk
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > contacts*
Scoot Sollete > it'd be nice if they were in this chat too
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > the guy who taught me about security and stuff, and helped me out with killing that one scammer's orca, he's not online atm
Now it was time for TheInternet to draw upon his extensive Rolodex of contacts. He recommended the circle of trust be widened to bring in Kaalatas Nebunaesa as a security consultant.
Scoot Sollete > mkay
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I'll bounce the situation off of him if he comes online though
Scoot Sollete > so much shit
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > did they contact you again?
Scoot Sollete > no
Scoot Sollete > just this whole situation
Since TheInternet vouched for him, Scoot agreed to trust Kaalatas. Ultimately, Kaalatas was brought into the corp as its newest member. With steady, experienced hands at the helm of the corp, the war council shifted their attention back to the war-POS.
Scoot Sollete > Jita >> Saisio (224000 m³) (Courier) for you internet
Scoot didn't have much money, but he was willing to put it all on the line for the corp. He invested 760 million isk into the war-POS and its modules. Since TheInternet was a freighter pilot, Scoot contracted all the assets over to him so that TheInternet could move them to the corp HQ.

Everything went fine at first, but then TheInternet sent Scoot an urgent message: A new crisis had emerged!


The crisis came in the form of Siegfried Cohenberg, a deadly freighter bumper. TheInternet reported that his freighter--now containing the war-POS--was being held hostage by Siegfried. At any moment, the New Order wardec corp could kill him. TheInternet invited Scoot and Siegfried onto TeamSpeak to negotiate. A recording of this conversation is not available, but the best sources say that no torture was involved.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i paid him 200m but he hasnt let me go yet
Scoot Sollete > he's a fucking ass wipe
Scoot Sollete > should've used red frog
Scoot Sollete > tbh
Siegfried was still in TeamSpeak, awaiting an answer. Scoot and TheInternet cursed their terrible luck.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i dont have the rest of the ISK
Scoot Sollete > same
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i need 400m
Scoot Sollete > i don't have it. honestly.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > we're going to be out a lot of ISK if we can't come up with 400m more guys
TheInternet was desperate for cash. It was the only way to save the war-POS. Scoot put everything he had into the war-POS. Now it, and the corp's future, were both at risk. And time was running out.

Next: The thrilling conclusion!

Monday, April 20, 2015

Ore Buyback, Code Payback, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping...


The Sky Gods Fortune had a new director. After nearly 80 minutes of loyal service, TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet completed his climb up the corporate ladder. He was now only a heartbeat away from the corp's highest office. The corp's founder and CEO, Scoot Sollete, was deeply impressed by TheInternet.
Scoot Sollete > kk
Scoot Sollete > you're a director now.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > cool, thanks
Scoot Sollete > mhmm
If TheInternet harbored dreams of becoming CEO, he kept them to himself.
Scoot Sollete > like we could claim the POS atm.
Scoot Sollete > get like a days worth of fuel
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > id rather just haul all the POS stuff, etc in one load
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > we've got plenty of time to get a POS up, let's wait until we've got all our ducks in a row before we get that set up too
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > ive still got to get all this ore buyback stuff sorted out
Now that he was a full director, TheInternet was told to do a bunch of work for the corp. However, TheInternet wasn't interested in running errands at that moment.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > im just about to log out, but I'll grab the info for you tomorrow
Scoot Sollete > what TZ are you on?
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > north america
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > alrighty well I'm out, cu tomorrow
Instead of working, TheInternet called it an early night. But he planned to hit the ground running the next day. He had big plans for the corp.

However, the next morning...
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > uhmm
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Scoot Sollete why are my roles gone? You've got my ore buyback ISK now
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I can't take my ISK back or anything
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I had put 100m in Wallet Division 4 and now its gone
Scoot Sollete > i know.
Scoot Sollete > i took it
TheInternet awoke to find a completely different picture. He was no longer a director. All of his roles had been stripped from him. Scoot even took the 100 million isk that TheInternet had deposited in the corp wallet.
Scoot Sollete > im not stealing it
Scoot Sollete > we just had a bunch of shit happen
Scoot Sollete > i made you director. kinda warry
Scoot Sollete > for secruity reasons, i need a full account api and see everything.
Something had changed, indeed. Scoot was incredibly suspicious of TheInternet. Now he insisted on a full API background check of TheInternet. No longer would he accept the bits and pieces of information that had satisfied him the previous day.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i wasn't even online? how can I be responsible for anyu of this stuff that you said happened?
Scoot Sollete > but i did get a person who was planning on stealing.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > If I was planning on stealing, why would I leave money with the corp
Scoot Sollete > I gave you your money. so im not a complete dick.
Scoot Sollete > I'm just being super paranoid atn.
Scoot explained that in the time since TheInternet had logged off, he'd uncovered a spy within the corp. Scoot was willing to return TheInternet's 100 million isk, but he would not give him any authority in the corp until he submitted to a full background check.
Scoot Sollete > Yezekiah Ben-Elyon this guy
Scoot Sollete > he was threatening things.
Scoot Sollete > i just don't know who to trust.
A corp infiltrator had made himself known to Scoot and began making demands. It shattered Scoot's sense of security. However, TheInternet made a good point in his own defense: Why would a corp thief deposit 100 million isk with a corp he planned on stealing from?


As if there hadn't been enough drama for the day, another important piece of information came to light. Shut It Down declared war against the corp.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I assume that he is tied to this war somehow?
Scoot Sollete > seperate event
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I wouldn't be sos sure, if all of the sudden you've got a spy/corp thief, AND a war, it's probably not a coincidence
Scoot Sollete > idk.
Scoot Sollete > everything kind of happened pretty fast.
The industrial corp's CEO couldn't handle all of the chaos. Luckily, TheInternet kept a cool head. Though no longer a director, he stepped up to the plate.
Scoot Sollete > basically that dude i linked, he was offering us protection and planning on stealing things.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I'm pretty good with figuring out what scammers are really up to, I might be able to provide you with an angle you hadn't thought of
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > hmm yeah I'm pretty sure the war and the threats were linked
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Shut It Down is a pro-CODE. corporation
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I've had to deal with them before, this is exactly how they operate
TheInternet's expertise was indispensable. He understood life in modern highsec. Every industrial corp is constantly under threat from Code enforcers, who attack from every angle.
Scoot Sollete > Vivi Flamez you okay?
Vivi Flamez > so far
Scoot Sollete > not tramatized?
Vivi Flamez > with that jerk kinda
Vivi Flamez > but i am mining
Scoot took a few moments to catch his breath and comfort a fellow corp member. The corp member was shaken, but was mining to calm his nerves.
Scoot Sollete > I'll give you roles for wallet division IV. Just too paranoid to give director again. Seem fair?
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > not really, I feel like we had worked past the trust issue last night, so I'm not really pleased with being lumped in with a scammer
Scoot Sollete > i REALLY want to have this corp up and running.
Scoot Sollete > look im sorry. like deeply sorry.
Scoot Sollete > but im just really weary.
Scoot Sollete > im not trying to sound desperate. I really want you to help the corp out. I'm just a little tramatized from that dude.
Seeing how important TheInternet's leadership was to the corp, Scoot offered to skip the background check and make TheInternet a mining director again--but not a full director. That wasn't enough for TheInternet, though. He felt he had proven himself trustworthy.
Scoot Sollete > I'll give you the roles back.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > alright, well I appreciate it, I just want to build something up
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > One piece of advice though, don't widen the circle until we know who we can trust
Scoot relented. TheInternet was restored to full director status, and not a moment too soon. War was on the horizon. And it would be up to TheInternet to lead the corp to victory, or death.

To be continued...

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Kills of the Week

Are the carebears learning? Some days it feels like it's one step forward, two steps back with these guys. Just when you think they're taking their obligations under the Code to heart, they go AFK with a cargo bay full of expensive stuff. Or they autopilot with a bunch of expensive implants. Or they simply behave in a bot-aspirant manner.

The truth is, progress rarely takes place in a straight line. We know that the carebears will have their ups and downs. It's our responsibility to shoot the carebears so that they can be hurried along to the next "up" phase. How about some fine examples of this theory in action, from the week of April 12th @ 00:00 EVEtime through April 18th @ 23:59 EVEtime?



Qumi Sotken got all excited about the new Quafe Edition blueprints, especially a Dominix one. He got so wrapped up in his new purchases that he completely forgot about the Code--as evidenced by his anti-tanked Badger. Agent Tisiphone Dira didn't forget, though. And she wouldn't let Qumi forget, either.


With a loss estimated at over 2 billion isk, Qumi learned a lesson he'll always remember.



Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri's bumper alt was making the acquaintance of freighter pilot Effei Gloom. Effei belonged to the inauspiciously named Lazy T2 Holdings corp. This got Salah suspicious. He knew to trust his instincts, so he rallied a New Order fleet to destroy the freighter and see what was inside. Agents Braggs Seyllin, Emotion Sasen, JohnCrichton, Jason Kusion, Sasha Cohenberg, Fabulous Andy, Randy McSoggybotto, Ricki Lake Show, BoneyTooth Thompkins, dude there's my-pod, Lament von Gankenheim, Eure Dincigkeit, Melon Arbalabator, Vez Royal, Jin Blam, Candy Indevan, John Coindoin, and Jeremy Bustarhymes made the freighter go boom.


In addition to countless other BPOs, our heroes recovered a genuine T2 BPO. The treasure managed to survive being passed down all the way from the CCP t20 era. Now it is in the New Order's capable hands. Needless to say, Effei Gloom was extra gloomy that day. As far as freighter kills go, they don't get much more expensive than this.



godtallon boomer's Orthrus was destroyed by a trio of Catalysts flown by Agents Brutal Anna, Carebears' Nightmare, and Rick Therapist. You might assume that they happened to gank a random autopiloter on a gate. The full story is much more intriguing:


In fact, ol' godtallon boomer was making a nuisance of himself, mining illegally in Goram.


For a carebear, there is no such thing as "hunting mode", or a famous nullsec alt, or a deadly pirate alt. Carebears only have one setting: Bot-aspirancy mode. That's why our Agents have no trouble killing them--regardless of whether they fly ships that can shoot back or not.



Jaraxxus was wandering through highsec in a 1.6 billion isk faction battleship. In addition to the faction battleship, Jaraxxus enjoyed faction warfare. Or did he? Actually, he was a carebear who longed for the safety and serenity of highsec. He went to highsec for a break from faction warfare. Agent Nicolas Dupre, too, enjoyed spending time in highsec. He wasn't as keen on the whole "taking a break from faction warfare" bit, though. Nicolas found Jaraxxus' commitment to the Code lacking, so he killed him. There's much more to this story, but that will need to wait for another day.



Untroubled by losing a 4.6 billion isk freighter, Bruno Ensiive remained AFK long enough to lose a 3.3 billion isk pod to Agent Aaaarrgg.


Impressively, Bruno managed to run up his 3.3 billion isk pod loss while fitting hardwirings alone--no learning implants were equipped. Bruno, it seems, prefers to do his learning the hard way.