Friday, August 28, 2015

Glory in Gamis

If there's one thing we've learned about the Agents of the New Order over the last three years, it's that they love shooting ships that shoot back. It's a travesty that so many Code violators either refuse to properly equip their ships for combat, or simply engage in behaviors that render them ineffective in combat situations (going AFK, etc.).

However, there are those who at least attempt to shoot back. Then they get defeated by our invincible Agents.

Kalorned is back in action!

It's a video with many honourable duels, each one enriched by a backstory:

Impressive work. Who can deny our elite PvP when the proof is staring them in the face, streaming in HD?


Speaking of elite PvP, in case you missed it, check out loyalanon's tribute to The Conference Elite. It's got everything you need: Combat, forum tears, my face--everything!

Interview with a PvP Legend

Friend, have you ever wanted to hear more about the New Order from Agent loyalanon?

...Of course you have. Now's your chance to hear the New Order's most accomplished fleet commander speak about EVE in a relaxed setting. The long-running Cap Stable podcast finally got a chance to have a chat with loyalanon and catch up on events in highsec. Give it a listen!

Thursday, August 27, 2015

A Snowball's Chance in Highsec, Part 1

There are so many ways to advance the cause of the New Order and its Code. An Agent is someone who does something--anything--to help spread and enforce the Code. We know that highsec will eventually be brought into 100% compliance with the Code, and that it will stay that way forever. Therefore, any contribution, no matter how big or small, is meaningful.

Agent Lenda Shinhwa kills a lot of Code violators, such as Captain Flin-Flin with his unlicensed Retriever. Lenda also podded the miner right out of the system. Ganking in this manner is a traditional, accepted method of enforcing the Code.

But other kinds of Agents are often overlooked. Consider Agent Harlequin Croft. She didn't gank Flin-Flin's Retriever. Instead, she acted as Lenda Shinhwa's herald in local. She championed the cause and brought another Agent's accomplishments to everyone's attention.

Serving as the herald of another Agent is a modest, dignified profession. It's easy to scoff at a herald. But those who would mock one such as Harlequin Croft should be warned--an Agent is still an Agent.

Without warning, Captain Flin-Flin returned to the system to find everyone talking about him. He wasn't too happy about it.

Even though he'd just been punished for violating the Code, Flin-Flin didn't see himself as the bad guy. He was dedicated to mining in highsec, without a permit. Now he wanted revenge. Unfortunately, he was too afraid of Lenda Shinhwa's power. He couldn't go after the Agent who had killed him. What to do?

To Harlequin's surprise, Flin-Flin suddenly expressed an interest in buying a permit.

Yet the miner was behaving in a very suspicious manner. He wanted to meet Lenda's herald at the station. Conversing in local wasn't enough. For some reason, he needed to see her face-to-face.

Harlequin began to suspect that the miner was up to no good. Perhaps Flin-Flin decided that if he couldn't kill the ganker, he would kill the herald.

Harlequin Croft is an Agent of the New Order of Highsec. For that reason, she was fearless when put to the test. When she saw Flin-Flin waiting at the station in a heavily-armed Vexor Navy Issue, she was not intimidated in the slightest.

But the truth was, Harlequin wasn't a combat expert. She had never won a PvP battle in her entire EVE career. And she didn't have a bunch of fancy ships and weapons. All she had was a Probe-class frigate.

Harlequin prepared for battle. She considered the weapons at her disposal. She only had three of them: One was the Civilian Gatling Autocannon she'd taken off a rookie ship. The second was a Festival Launcher loaded with a few dozen snowballs. And the third weapon?

...An absolute faith that the CODE always wins.

Game on.

To be continued...

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The Newbie Brothers, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Bellatrix Invicta's impressive performance in a spirited round of PvP earned her the chance to chat with two new players, NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers and Eskobar Troyun. The newbies were filled with questions and concerns about the game, which Bellatrix handled admirably. NightStalkerTheSecond, still smarting over his Retriever loss, asked in exasperation why he wasn't allowed to AFK mine in peace.
Bellatrix Invicta > But why have no risk for your ISK?
Bellatrix Invicta > What are you going to do with it?
Bellatrix Invicta > Mining fleet to get more ISK?
Bellatrix Invicta > Then what?
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > hmmmmmm
Ideally, there comes a time in every highsec miner's life when he asks himself, "Why bother grinding isk for isk's sake?" One of the many services provided by the New Order is that we force miners to confront this important issue.

The miner was faced with the most crucial decision of his EVE career. Would he continue to mindlessly pile up small amounts of isk? Or would he take a step back, realize his folly, and start playing the game for real?

Bellatrix sincerely cared about the miner's future. She wanted to maximize the miner's chance to actually have fun in EVE. To do that, she would need to break through his overwhelming greed for easy isk. It was time for an impassioned plea.
Bellatrix Invicta > See, I play Eve to make spaceships explode. I don't care where they are.
Bellatrix Invicta > Some folks play to shoot the rocks that are used to make the spaceships I blow up.
Bellatrix Invicta > That's cool. Just don't expect safety anywhere.
Bellatrix Invicta > I used to think like you, about 3 years ago.
Bellatrix Invicta > Then I got ganked, just like you did.
Bellatrix Invicta > Then I quit for a year.
Bellatrix Invicta > Came back, joined New Order Logistics and have had fun every day since.
The Agent spoke with urgency and eloquence. She'd given the miner everything he needed to make a sane, rational decision. Now she could only wait for an answer.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > i expect the great james to understand but i guess not. how was he elected, or is this a dictatorship were hes the only canidate
Bellatrix Invicta > He was voted in by proxy via every citizen of Highsec.
Bellatrix Invicta > Well, might be you could send James 315 an email. Let him know what we said. Maybe send him this chat. He does reply.
Bellatrix Invicta > He might be able to show you something I haven't.
In spite of everything, NightStalkerTheSecond was still hung up on the fact that I control highsec, as though it's some kind of problem. He wouldn't focus on the matter at hand--his own future!
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > i'm gonna come clean
Bellatrix Invicta > Better than dirty, I guess.
It didn't look good for the miner. Bellatrix already felt sorry for him.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > i despise people like you i'm gonna run for this savior of high sec whatever its called run your kind out high sec cus i believe high sec is a haven for all no matter their profession no matter how long you play no matter how they mine that isn't...
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > for you to judge or anyone else!
The miner had made his decision. He was a rebel. His bottled-up rage was finally poured out for all to see.
Bellatrix Invicta > Actually, it is.
Bellatrix Invicta > I judged you as my inalienable right.
Bellatrix Invicta > And since Highsec is a haven for everyone, I'll stay right. here.
Bellatrix Invicta > No matter their profession, right?
Bellatrix Invicta > And since my profession flies in the face of yours, we create content.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > yes, you are welcome to stay here as long as you don't rampage about on a witch hunt killing all the miners
Earlier, he had appeared calm. But it was clear that the miner had, in fact, not calmed down.
Bellatrix Invicta > So, go ahead and think you're doing something unique and special and then realize you're #7843 in line for that exact hope. So many have come before you and will continue to because your kind last about 8 days.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > 7843 that's alot you have made an enemy and it looks like i have lots of alot of allies
Bellatrix Invicta > Yeah. Lots of "allies" who don't target us, who don't fight us, who run and hide when we warp in system.
The carebear entertained wild delusions of organizing highsec miners into a successful resistance movement.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > ill be making 7843 emails tonight
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > i will they hide because they are alone and they fear you guys and thats not how you win votes
Bellatrix Invicta > 1. Fear is good. 2. They're alone due to their own fault. 3. Voting is over!
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > we will see about that cus if voting is over then what happens when there is a revolution
It was going to be a revolution, said the miner. He demanded his right to run for the office of Saviour of Highsec. You, miner, are no James 315. I make it look easy.
Bellatrix Invicta > There have been a number of them.
Bellatrix Invicta > We're still here.
Bellatrix Invicta > And now, more miners need to be judged. I will see you around.
There were times when the newbie miner seemed close to waking from his bot-aspirant slumber. He remained fast asleep, for now. Not every carebear can be rescued on the first attempt. Perhaps all he needs is another good push.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

The Newbie Brothers, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... After losing a Retriever to Agent Bellatrix Invicta in a round of glorious PvP, newbie NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers and the other member of his corp, Eskobar Troyun, teamed up to get answers. They invited Bellatrix to a convo and bombarded her with a series of questions about the New Order regime. But they didn't like what they heard.
Bellatrix Invicta > You were stealing James 315s rocks.
Bellatrix Invicta > I can't let that stand.
Eskobar Troyun > who is james
Bellatrix Invicta > WHO IS JAMES?!
Another failure of the tutorial and "new player experience". If you live in highsec, not knowing my name is kind of like not knowing your own name IRL. You won't get very far, and you'll look ridiculous.
Bellatrix Invicta >
Bellatrix Invicta > James 315 is the Savior of Highsec.
Bellatrix Invicta > Democratically elected High Protector of all of Highsec.
Bellatrix Invicta > My personal hero and father figure.
Eskobar Troyun > or destroyer of noobs
Eskobar, like many rebels, cynically attempted to divide the highsec community. In truth, the New Order slaughters plenty of old carebears, too.
Bellatrix Invicta > Noob, veteran, law breaker.
Bellatrix Invicta > These words are all the same.
Eskobar Troyun > yo i get this is role play but not everyone want to die because they just started
Bellatrix Invicta > Don't undock then.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > is justice punishing some crime that they didn't know existed a law that wasn't hurtung anyone
Bellatrix Invicta > Yes.
The newbies couldn't grasp the fact that they were in the wrong. Some people can't imagine themselves as villains, no matter how many despicable things they do. Even when the Code spells it right out for them!
Eskobar Troyun > if you to grow high sec society killing those who never stood a chance forcing them away is not a good way
Bellatrix Invicta > The ones who leave are the ones who never should have been. The rest HTFU.
Bellatrix Invicta > New Eden is a harsh mistress.
Eskobar Troyun > james would be lucky to be saviour of a falling leave if thats how he runs this
Time and time again, the newbies proved that they were all too familiar with the popular carebear talking points. Despite having just joined the game, they feared that EVE would lose subscribers if too many miners were ganked. I know that's the first thing I concern myself with when I start playing a game.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > SO if he really is the protector of high sec why wasn't he protecting me
Bellatrix Invicta > NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers Because you hadn't reached out to him.
Bellatrix Invicta > But now, thanks to me, you have.
Eskobar Troyun > i didnt die and i dont give a fuck
There was a conflict of interest between the newbie brothers. One had lost a ship, the other had (as of yet) lost nothing. Eskobar frankly admitted that he didn't feel he had a stake in the system. NightStalkerTheSecond, duly chastened by his Retriever loss, was more willing to listen.
Bellatrix Invicta > And keep it civil, I've been nothing but polite.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > yah eskobar
Eskobar Troyun > minus thte sass and meaning killing
Bellatrix Invicta > Killing is emotionless.
Bellatrix Invicta > And my sass is justified.
Bellatrix Invicta > I know you're mad at me.
Bellatrix Invicta > I just want you to realize that if it wasn't me, today, it would have been someone else soon.
Gradually, everyone in the convo became comfortable with the new dynamic: Bellatrix, as an Agent of the New Order, was in a position of authority over the miners. She was their teacher and ever-patient mentor.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > so killing it's emotionless correct
Bellatrix Invicta > For me, yeah.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > i would think higher of james based on how great you make him sound that he would hire someone without empathy
Bellatrix Invicta > I don't know mercy. I don't know pity. I don't know compassion. What I do know is that I follow The Code fervently and I do James 315s work.
Bellatrix Invicta > I know empathy.
Bellatrix Invicta > Even sympathy.
Bellatrix Invicta > Hence my talking to you.
The rebels and skeptics accuse us of "harvesting tears" and "trolling" and "griefing" the miners we gank. If they'd bother to read the conversations, they would understand that we're doing the miners a favor.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > so lets talk were am i safe for afk mining
Bellatrix Invicta > Absolutely nowhere in Highsec.
Bellatrix Invicta > Put that thought right out.
Bellatrix Invicta > And AFK anything in Eve is a VERY bad idea.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > i was just tabbed out playing another game cus i find mining boring. why is this wrong
At last, a rapport was established. Right on cue, the ganked miner began to confess his crimes.
Bellatrix Invicta > If it's boring, why are you doing it?
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > cus it's the best way to make isk at the point i was at
Bellatrix Invicta > No.
Bellatrix Invicta > Absolutely wrong.
Bellatrix Invicta > Did your corp tell you that?
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > no. i lead my corp no one told me that there is only two people in my corp me and my freind
The newbies were adrift in a sea of chaos. In the future, the presence of the New Order will be felt by every player at every moment in every system of highsec. For now, highsec is filled with carebears who need rescuing. But at least the newbies hadn't joined a large PvE corp where they could be exploited by a money-grubbing CEO.
Bellatrix Invicta > Lowsec Faction Warfare is the single best way to make money and learn PVP in Eve.
Bellatrix Invicta > Or even nullsec belt ratting/anom ratting.
Bellatrix Invicta > Mining is boring like you said. Don't pay $15/mo to play another game offline.
Bellatrix Invicta > Which is what you're doing =\
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > yes but that is not safe high sec is safer
Our Agent strongly encouraged the miners to stop traveling down the path to bot-aspirancy. The miner admitted he was scared.
Bellatrix Invicta > No.
Bellatrix Invicta > Highsec is not safer.
Bellatrix Invicta > Because of me.
Bellatrix Invicta > People in null care about standings, and all of that. I don't.
Bellatrix Invicta > I'll shoot a corpmate.
Bellatrix Invicta > And have!
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > why can't i mine in peace
Eskobar had quieted down. Meanwhile, Bellatrix seemed to be making some progress with the ganked miner.
Bellatrix Invicta > Well, you can.
Bellatrix Invicta > I can't be everywhere.
Bellatrix Invicta > But why have no risk for your ISK?
Bellatrix Invicta > What are you going to do with it?
Bellatrix Invicta > Mining fleet to get more ISK?
Bellatrix Invicta > Then what?
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > hmmmmmm
Now the miner was put to the test. Every carebear who turns his life around has, at some point, been forced to ask himself what the point of isk-grinding is. Would NightStalkerTheSecond open his eyes? Or would he descend deeper into the mire of carebearism?

To be continued...

Monday, August 24, 2015

The Newbie Brothers, Part 1

Some players have names that make you wonder about their intentions for EVE when they originally signed up for the game. Take NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers, for example. How did he imagine his EVE career going? He probably didn't think it would turn out this way:

Ganked while flying a fail-fit Retriever in highsec. Yet so many carebears end up exactly where NightStalkerTheSecond did. Agent Bellatrix Invicta, who was responsible for killing the miner, sent him an informative EVEmail and was promptly invited to join a convo.
Bellatrix Invicta > Greetings, miner!
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > can i call my freind in here
Bellatrix Invicta > You bet.
Bellatrix Invicta > Eskobar Troyun o7
Eskobar Troyun > o7
The first curveball: The miner immediately brought in someone to assist him. He had no intention of allowing the Agent to steamroll him in conversation. I'm surprised more miners don't do this, except that most miners are loners (even--or perhaps especially--if they belong to a large highsec corp).

NightStalkerTheSecond and Eskobar were members of Fratres in Armis. In fact, they were the only two members. Supposedly they had each other's backs, but I didn't see Eskobar telling his buddy not to live the life of a highsec miner.
Bellatrix Invicta > What questions can I answer for you two?
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > okey so im sorry but i dont know what the deal with afk mining?
Eskobar Troyun > What happened? what rule did hwe break
Bellatrix Invicta > Ah, well, it was all explained in the email I sent you.
Bellatrix Invicta > Did you read it?
Our Agent began with a polite version of "RTFM".
Eskobar Troyun > i read the rules and of the new order. He didnt afk mine
Bellatrix Invicta > Specifically, the part in bold, and red.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > yes, m,aam
Bellatrix Invicta > Okay, can you show me your permit?
Bellatrix Invicta > Not having a permit while mining in Highsec is against the law.
It's amazing how many carebears claim to be in total compliance with the Code, and yet they lack mining permits. Is there some other New Halaima Code of Conduct that I should be aware of?
Eskobar Troyun > can you show us where to get the permits?
Bellatrix Invicta > From me!
Bellatrix Invicta > 10m a piece for 365 days of safe mining!
Eskobar Troyun > you just show up, kill him. then say he violated a rule never advertised
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > with all do respect ma'am im packing up and mining somewhere else im not buying your damn permit
...And straight into the denial phase. Carebears lose their curiosity about the rules once they're told they need to part with some of their beloved isk, no matter how little. The permit is a great litmus test for bot-aspirancy.
Bellatrix Invicta > Oh, but it is advertised.
Eskobar Troyun > where?
Bellatrix Invicta > We own all of Highsec and have for 3 years.
Bellatrix Invicta > If you don't know it by now, are you even PLAYING Eve?
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > we are new players we didnt know this existed
The brothers-in-arms claimed total ignorance of the Code. Admittedly, CCP ought to include something about us in the tutorial, or possibly the launch screen. If CCP won't teach the miners, we will. It's often said that if you tell someone to look up the information for themselves, they'll remember it better. Similarly, according to New Order science, the best way to teach a carebear is to kill them.
Bellatrix Invicta > Well, now you do.
Bellatrix Invicta > We were all new at one time.
Bellatrix Invicta > Welcome to Eve.
Eskobar Troyun > yea?? you killed 1 miner who was just tryna get a bit of cash in a suicide gank because you make psuedo claims to neutral territory
Eskobar Troyun > other than it isnt possible to own highsec
Ah! Behold the newbies, so quick to pick up the latest in carebear excuses. At this point, most EVE players have only the dimmest understanding of sov mechanics. But Eskobar was all ready to go with the "you can't claim sov in highsec" nonsense.
Bellatrix Invicta > Sure it is. We do.
Bellatrix Invicta > Every person in highsec is subject to our laws.
Eskobar Troyun > you got a deed for the space?
Bellatrix Invicta > Yep. It's called The Code.
Eskobar Troyun > thats bullshit and you know it
The miner's brother-in-arms dismissed the Code entirely. That's no way to get a reimbursement.
Bellatrix Invicta > Don't presume to tell me what I know, miner.
Eskobar Troyun > "miner" you say that like you are above me
Bellatrix Invicta > I am.
Eskobar Troyun > for what? being a bully?
Bellatrix Invicta > Bully? No.
Bellatrix Invicta > For being a glorious PvP pilot.
Again, Eskobar clearly hadn't read the Code, which explicitly and emphatically places miners at the bottom of the EVE hierarchy.
Eskobar Troyun > You just suiced ganked in high sec
Bellatrix Invicta > Sure did. Good fight!
Bellatrix Invicta > Wish I had gotten the pod.
Eskobar Troyun > because you want a monopoly
Eskobar Troyun > on space you cant own
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > that's not pvp shooting a defensless mining vessel
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > their is no honor in that
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > no glory
Once again, the newbies were up-to-date on all the carebear clich├ęs. If only they could be so well-versed in the Code, and ignorant of carebear talking points--instead of the other way around.
Eskobar Troyun > question. how do you treat lvl 1 who cant afford a mining permit? but need to mine to get it?
Bellatrix Invicta > 1m for 24 hours of safety but you pay 20m after that.
Bellatrix Invicta > And if you can't, we just find you again.
Bellatrix Invicta > Because barges are more expensive than permits.
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > he has a venture
Eskobar Troyun > what about starter vessels?
Bellatrix Invicta > I don't care what you're flying to be honest. I've dunked rookie ships and I've dunked freighters.
Another red flag appeared when Eskobar referred to himself and his fellow newbie as "level 1"s.
Eskobar Troyun > why?
Eskobar Troyun > they violate a law that they break just by joining?
Bellatrix Invicta > I will not attack you in a newbie system or a career system.
Bellatrix Invicta > Outside of those select areas it is game on.
Eskobar Troyun > that was a newbie system
Bellatrix Invicta > Haatomo is NOT a newbie system.
Eskobar Troyun > if a .7 isnt i dunno what is?
For the record, Haatomo is a 0.6 security system. Eskobar was absolutely convinced that all highsec was newbie space. (Another tutorial fail.)
NightStalkerTheSecond Hellbringers > so your saying that it was justice me getting killed
Bellatrix Invicta > Yep.
Bellatrix Invicta > You were stealing James 315s rocks.
Bellatrix Invicta > I can't let that stand.
Eskobar Troyun > who is james
Bellatrix Invicta > WHO IS JAMES?!
The ignorance of the newbie brothers was astonishing. Could they be taught to obey the Code, or would they only continue to rage at its truths?

To be continued...

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Kills of the Week

A little econ quiz to start off the week, dear reader. Which makes more sense: Allowing one of the biggest highsec business enterprises to fail, or buying a few mining permits at 10 million isk a piece? The answer may not be as simple as you think.

The New Order has eyes and ears everywhere. Internal communications intercepted by our Agents reveal that Push Industries, the second-largest hauling company after Red Frog Freight, has been bankrupted by the freighter ganking fleets. They must have seen this coming for a long time now, but they wouldn't spare any money for permits. Nor have they been distributing copies of the Code to their pilots. No, better to financially disintegrate than acknowledge the supremacy of the New Order.

Some highsec dwellers are in denial, I'd say. Let's examine a few other cases of denial from the week of August 16th 00:00 EVEtime through August 22nd @ 23:59 EVEtime.

What's sillier than a Bowhead worth 16.3 billion isk? One whose fittings alone cost over 3.3 billion. Sanjara seemed to believe in the power of isk-tanking. Sorry, but no. He was rightly executed by Agents Kusotarre, Strom Cohenberg, JerryRin AT2016 Commentator, Ryvarant, Straight Up Dominated, The Occidental, 412nv Yaken, loyalanon, Fightsquad, ThatOleSerpent, OogaBooga WhereDa FreighterAt, Capt Starfox, suiseisiki aran, Fabulous Andy, holdmybeer, unknown boat, BoneyTooth Thompkins ISK-Chip, Cheeky Nando, Kirra Tarren, Ricki Lake Show, Dagny Whitemane, Burt Plug, rackarns, Sophia Soprano, Tyber-zan Vex-ar, Austrene Jakuard, and Aide Royale.

Not every killboard commenter saw the justice, though. You'd think people who browse killboards would be pro-kill! Side note: Amusingly, the Bowhead was ganked in Kamio, the second system ever to be liberated by the New Order.

Timcanpy Yvormes lost a 10.2 billion isk freighter for his crimes. The sentence was carried out by Agents Aaaarrgg, Lament von Gankenheim, loyalanon, Bob Painter, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, Sasha Cohenberg, kaz89, OogaBooga WhereDa FreighterAt, holdmybeer, Yabba Dabba Do, Straight Up Dominated, TedNougat TedNougat, JerryRin AT2016 Commentator, Strom Cohenberg, Antiganks Won'tsaveyo, Cory Oskold, Inspector Implant, and... Timcanpy Meza?

Timcanpy reported his loss in the hauler channel. He admitted that he'd assumed having a web alt would guarantee his safety. I appreciate the fact that he at least put in a little bit of effort by bringing a webber along, but webifier does not equal mining permit.

Who says the New Order doesn't shoot ships that can shoot back? Our Agents destroyed hundreds of hostile combat vessels in this one gank alone. And before you rebels and skeptics say, "But they weren't given a fair chance! They weren't piloted!"...

From earlier this year, Ol Ormand shows us what a carebear can do with a combat ship. Before you lose your lunch, reader, rest easy: Agent Snigie Audanie offered Ol Ormand a demonstration in the proper use of a Catalyst.

Kirell stuffed 1.8 billion isk of cargo into a flimsy little tech I industrial ship. Feeling she had plenty of tank to spare, the carebear added eight separate anti-tank modules and rigs. By this point, her Wreathe had about as many hitpoints as a wet paper bag. The good news is, she was too smart to autopilot in this ship. Phew! The bad news is, she went AFK on a stargate instead. The 1.8 billion isk octuple-anti-tanked Wreathe silently awaited the inevitable--Agent Eva Mavas.

There are a lot of ways to throw away 4 billion isk, but Alexey Hemanseh opted for the classic "autopilot a shuttle through Niarja" strategy. Agent Aaaarrgg was on duty at the time. Alexey's implants weren't of the mining variety. If you examine the killmail, you can see Alexey fancied himself some sort of gunslinger. But we know better. He was a bot-aspirant.


How do our Agents stay in such fine fighting shape? Practice!

To stay sharp, New Order Agents routinely engage in training exercises. Sometimes the training takes place in lowsec, where I'm told a bunch of dangerous pirates lurk--along with rogue elements of powerful nullsec alliances. Naturally, they make for good target practice.

Forgot 2Wipe, a dreadnought pilot for CVA, was attacking a control tower in lowsec. Our Agents saw this as a good opportunity to practice dealing with highsec miners. After the dreadnought failed to purchase a mining permit, our Agents followed their training. loyalanon, Globby, Turbolaserwolf, Krominal, Lament von Gankenheim, PV Rock, Keraina Talie-Kuo, Eva Mavas, Zaenis Desef, Sterling Cohenberg, Sherman Cohenberg, Stein Cohenberg, Silvester Cohenberg, Stanley Cohenberg, Nitetime Video, Wolf Soprano, Ben Li, and Berry Nice carried out the gank with style and grace.

After the live-fire exercise was concluded, the FC, Agent loyalanon accepted a convo invite from the dreadnought pilot's alt. Although this was only a simulation, loyalanon continued to follow his training to the letter.

Highsec won't save itself, you know. It takes hard work and dedication.