Saturday, March 23, 2019

The Eight Billion Ten Million Isk Permit

Miners, nothing you do can be kept secret from the Code. The New Order has eyes and ears everywhere.

ob1canoby-OG ONLY-OB1 made the mistake of conducting an unlicensed mining operation in highsec. He was found out.

Agent Guybertini ganked the miner without the slightest hesitation. Yet Guybertini's heart was overflowing with compassion, so he sent the miner an EVEmail telling him to buy a permit. Miners tend to respond to such requests in a few different ways. This time, however, Guybertini received an answer he didn't expect:

ob1canoby-OG claimed that he'd already paid some other Agent a staggering amount of isk. Given the unusual circumstances and Guybertini's uncertainty about what was going on, our Agent was determined to get to the truth--so he penned a carefully worded reply.

Now the ball was in ob1canoby-OG's court.

The miner told an extraordinary tale of woe. If true, someone had persuaded ob1canoby-OG to extract his skillpoints for cash and to hand over all of his assets. A transfer of wealth such as that would require much faith--a level of faith not seen since the days of the Bonus Room.

Guybertini was faced with a dilemma. As an Agent of the New Order, he vowed to see justice done in highsec. If ob1canoby-OG had been wronged, it was up to Guybertini to make things right.

To start with, this miner needed a permit.

Apparently that wasn't the answer ob1canoby-OG wanted to hear--even if it was the answer he needed to hear.

A review of ob1canoby-OG's killboard shows no indication of a member of the mighty CODE. alliance ganking him the week before his encounter with Guybertini. Perhaps the miner had an alt who was ganked. Regardless, there is nothing in the record to identify who, if anyone, was paid 8 billion isk by the miner.

Our Agent had no choice but to require that ob1canoby-OG pay 10 million isk for a permit. It was the only fair result.

Sadly, ob1canoby-OG ultimately chose not to display his newly purchased permit in his bio. At this point, one can only assume that he intended to self-revoke. What conclusion should the discerning reader draw from all of this?

ob1canoby-OG is a Goblok and a half.

Friday, March 22, 2019

Disharmonious, Part 7

Previously, on MinerBumping... The mighty CODE. alliance went to war against Harmony Order corporation. Though everyone in Harmony Order was under strict orders not to interact with CODE. members in any way, King Kong Moose repeatedly fought and died.

After losing a duel with Agent Ralliana, King Kong Moose attempted to open negotiations with CODE.

Though only a few hours old, the wardec had clearly spooked Harmony Order. Was King authorized to negotiate a peace settlement--or was this a rogue diplomatic mission?

Since Agent Viirilithizu Ward's investigation into Harmony Order had led to the wardec, Ralliana suggested speaking to her instead of immediately petitioning the Saviour of Highsec.

Eventually, King managed to track down Viirilithizu in a nearby system.

King knew he had little leverage to work with. Successfully negotiating with CODE. would require him to think outside the box.

Agent Viirilithizu wouldn't budge. Harmony Order needed to comply with the Code--period.

King proposed a war pact: Join forces and strike deep into nullsec against Pandemic Legion! No one would ever expect that Harmony Order and CODE. would work together, so the element of surprise was guaranteed.

Since the beginning, the enemies of the New Order have attempted to deflect our Code enforcers toward other targets. It never works. Our Agents have remained laser-focused on their mission.

Since a diplomatic channel was already open, Viirilithizu saw no reason it shouldn't go both ways. She gently probed for intel on Harmony Order's intentions.

However, it was obvious that neither side was willing to give anything up. The war would go forward.

During the first several hours of the wardec, Harmony Order's members--other than King--remained docked up and out of sight. In time, though, they inevitably ventured out. When that happened, they were caught and killed.

Harmony Order fell into the same pattern that has undone so many other carebear corps that have attempted the "deny them kills" strategy over the years. Carebears carebear. They can't resist grinding isk. They'll even mine AFK during an active wardec!

One after another, members of Harmony Order were ambushed and ganked. This wasn't the relaxing, risk-free PvE that the corp had promised them. What now?

To be continued...

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Dear Lewak

It's an unfortunate truth that our Agents are often misunderstood by the very people they help the most.

Agent Lewak has dedicated himself to the cause of saving highsec. This mostly involves killing people and telling them about the Code. Do they appreciate it? Not always.

We've seen how the miners frequently misinterpret the Code, leading to such phenomena as the "Phantom Provision". Our Agents' actions, too, get misinterpreted by the miners.

Rebellious miners are not particularly interested in understanding why they lose ships; they're unable to tolerate the self-criticism that would inevitably follow. When told what they did wrong, they lash out in anger.

Lewak isn't afraid of offending the miners--he's afraid of standing by and watching highsec destroy itself. That's what was going on in the days before the Code. Never again. Not while there are Agents like Lewak.

Is it possible that some miners genuinely believe Lewak is their enemy, and that he means to do them harm? Yes, it's possible. Carebears are known for making mistakes.

...But the ignorance of a miner does not in any way excuse his misconceptions or his misdeeds.

Consider the miners who flaunt their violations of the New Order Bathroom Protocol. "I wasn't AFK, I was going to the bathroom." So the miner is either lying (he was AFK) or telling the truth (he brought his laptop into the bathroom with him). Regardless, he is a Code violator--and it is his natural tendency to live in filth.

A Code enforcer is honourable and elite. He is also kind and generous: He expects a miner to uphold a basic standard of human decency. This is a compliment--unearned, but freely given.

"Without miners, you wouldn't have any ships," says the miner. Or perhaps, "Without miners, CCP wouldn't have any subscription revenue." All we require of the miner is a little proof that he can behave like a civilized adult. He can keep the ships and the subscription revenue (I'm sure CCP would agree).

It's one thing to help someone who will appreciate it. But to perform a good deed when you know that your beneficiary will despise you for it? That's true altruism. Our Agents are the most elite altruists in all of EVE.

On occasion, a miner will reply to a gank with an acknowledgement that our Agents' work is necessary. It is indeed. However, there's always the risk that the miner doesn't really mean it--that he's attempting to conceal his bot-aspirant intentions behind a false smile.

The Code always brings out the truth:

And the truth of the Code will set highsec free. Always!

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Disharmonious, Part 6

Previously, on MinerBumping... Harmony Order corporation's inability to obey the Code brought war upon its alliance, Gemini Whale United. As the wardec went live, one member of Harmony Order sought to break free from the Code by attacking a container.

The corp's CEO had already been ganked in the hours prior to the wardec. Now, King Kong Moose became the first casualty of war.

Originally, King had hoped to engage in a duel with Agent Viirilithizu. But because CCP has so far failed to remove faction police from the game (even though it's obviously a good idea), dueling a member of the mighty CODE. alliance is not always so simple.

King's impatience led him to commit the reckless act of trying to shoot a container. If he still sought to take up arms against CODE., he'd need to buy a new ship.

One ship loss would not be nearly enough to teach King the error of his ways.

But there was another unintended consequence of the ruckus King was creating in local: He was drawing the attention of other members of Harmony Order. The entire corp was still under strict orders not to speak with Agents or feed them kills.

Therefore, King was in defiance not only of CODE., but his own corporation, as well. The spectacle fascinated the Harmony Order members. They, unlike King, maintained their silence.

For whatever reason, King was confident that he could prevail, regardless of the ships used in the duel. Despite being heavily outnumbered in Harmony Order's HQ system, Agent Othya was willing to engage King in open combat at a prearranged location. The Code always wins, after all.

Othya and King met at the system's star. Our Agent chose to bring a Black Ops ship. At first, it appeared as though a gang of Harmony Order members might have been organizing an ambush. No such luck. Everyone but King was unwilling to undock. An actual 1v1 ensued.

...And King lost another of his Federation Navy Comets.

It was exactly the result that Harmony Order's "silent treatment" policy was intended to prevent. By remaining docked up and quiet, they hoped to bore CODE. into submission. Unfortunately, this had the effect of boring their own members--something King was not willing to tolerate.

A few hours later, he tried again. He lost another Federation Navy Comet, this time in a duel with Agent Ralliana's Brutix Navy Issue.

The wardec was only getting started, and Harmony Order's strategy was already an unmitigated failure. Could they adapt, or would the war lead to disaster?

To be continued...