Monday, December 17, 2018

Over One Trillion Six Hundred Forty Billion in Shares Sold

The Code is really striking a chord with people these days--and the money is rolling in.

Jonathon Rodriguez is the latest in a long line of New Order shareholders to upgrade his holdings. Jonathon purchased 350 additional shares of New Order stock, which was enough to send us past the 1,640 billion isk mark and earn him a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

If you want to get the biggest bang for your buck, New Order shares are definitely the way to go. And they're still available!


A mystery for you, ladies and gentlemen.

Blair Cameron's Skiff was destroyed in highsec. But why? The miner must not have owned a permit, one supposes.

And yet, there it is, right in his bio. The plot thickens:

Blair's alt or associate, Angus Cameron, also has a permit in his bio. What, then, can explain the destruction of this miner's ship? Fake permit? Fake issuing Agent?

The Agent, Aiko Danuja, checks out. And she confirmed that she had indeed sold mining permits to both Angus and Blair Cameron. I told you this was a mystery.

At this point, the anti-Code carebear reading this post rudely interjects, "The permits are a lie! We've said it all along. If you buy a permit, they'll gank you anyway. Save your 10 million isk and pray that you can escape destruction on your own terms."

As usual, the carebear is wrong.

There was a perfectly good explanation: the Camerons had gotten their permits revoked by perpetrating an ill-advised attack against one of highsec's finest.

The anti-Code carebear scoffs. "Surely this cannot be true. A miner attacking an Agent? This all sounds like a Code enforcer's ruse!"

Carebears lie, but killmails never do. At the time of his death, Blair was engaged in combat with Agent Krig Povelli's Orca. Although it was another open-and-shut case, a full investigation into the kill was duly performed by Aiko Danuja, who had originally issued the mining permits.

No one can say that justice is not done in highsec. The carebear critic is silenced.

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Kills of the Week

There's a lot of anti-bot sentiment out there these days. That's good: it's about time people started catching up to where the New Order has been for years. But what all these new converts need to realize is, the best way to fight against the bots is to not to act like one. Quite frankly, too many carebears act like a buncha bots. Take, for example, some of the bot-aspirants killed from the week of December 9th @ 00:00 EVEtime through December 15th @ 23:59 EVEtime:

Oof. Marianna Alcoforado was deleted from Jita when her 31.4 billion isk jump freighter was ganked at 4-4. It took 19 Taloses, but it was definitely worth it. We've come a long way since the days of tech I fitted Catalysts. Agents Jason Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Australian Excellence, Cesaro, Pod Destroyer Molly, Justin Kusion, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector HongMei, Joel Kusion, Tax Collector Kittens, Joshua Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jake Kusion, Taxman Daniel, Jeremiah Kusion, Tax Collector Richard, and Johnathan Kusion brought elite PvP to the heart of capitalist highsec.

Meanwhile, all the way on the other end of the galaxy, Polina Great lost her 33.4 billion isk Wyvern supercarrier. She probably didn't expect to encounter a CODE. fleet in Feythabolis. She needs to read more MinerBumping! Agents Soldier Forrester, SidtheKid100, WaTeR Ubersnol, l0rd carlos, Intigo, Miyamoto Uroki, Tawa Suyo, TurboCrazy, TigR Kashada, NiXoR x, Kadesh Priestess, lady labia, Mizhir, Zaebos, Mizz Sunshine, Casper24, Scotty Smartypants, and Tiamat Key enforced the Code in deepest nullsec. The sun never sets on the New Order.

From the sublime to the ridiculous. fizzy Oriki equipped his Raven precisely as you'd expect a Goofus to fit out a battleship. And he lost it that way, too:

Yes, fizzy got himself CONCORDed when trying to retaliate against Agent Krig Povelli, who solo PvP'ed fizzy's Orca with an Orca of his own. Just two minutes later, one of fizzy's corpmates lost an Orca--also killed by Agent Krig in an Orca duel.

Highsec can be weird sometimes.

chopopolis chopopi's hauler nearly exploded when the carebear anti-tanked it to within an inch of its life. Despite having almost no hitpoints, the ship managed to undock without incident. Alas, the carebear was lulled into a false sense of security: He activated autopilot and went AFK. Agent Votre Dieu blapped the Bestower, which was worth 6 billion isk.

Those Skill Extractors certainly are effective.

With so many exotic kills this week, it's nice to see that people like Lance Odinson can still lose a billion isk the old-fashioned way, by losing a blingy Mackinaw. Agents Noll Kion and Lisa Tears parted another miner from his ORE Strip Miners.

Raymond Lannister proved that even when you've lost a 1.7 billion isk Kronos, things can get worse. Agent Eva Mavas and some of her friends ganked the Kronos, but they didn't kill the pod. So the 4.7 billion isk pod sat there in space for 16 minutes while Eva patiently waited out her aggression timer. Upon returning, Eva popped the Capsule. I'm sure Raymond will explain that he totally wasn't AFK, though; stupid highsec game mechanics were surely to blame.

Ah, the return of the Asklepian set. Hi, Asklepians. Bye, Asklepians.

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Getting the Code, Part 1

Everyone who plays EVE is bound to run into an Agent of the New Order at some point--usually sooner rather than later.

...And there's a really good chance that the Agent is going to be Aaaarrgg.

Aaaarrgg kills people who abuse the "autopilot" feature. In his view, people shouldn't autopilot when gankers are around. Plain common sense, right? You might be surprised how controversial that idea can be, though.

Grip Vyvorant strongly disagreed with Aaaarrgg. He claimed to be the alt of an Anti-Ganker. Apparently that was meant to intimidate our Agent, but somehow it had the opposite effect.

We expect carebears to complain about those who gank autopiloters; they want to protect their right to be lazy. But Grip claimed that he wasn't motivated by selfishness. It was about the principle of the thing.

Grip's unwritten rules for EVE included things like, "Don't shoot pods." Aaaarrgg couldn't understand why Grip's unwritten rules should trump the written rules of the Code.

According to the carebear, PvP is an opt-in activity. If you want to pass through territory "peacably", then you should have total invincibility.

The philosophy of the New Order is very different from that of the carebears. Shooting spaceships in a spaceship-shooting game isn't cowardly. Demanding 100% safety because you don't want even the slightest amount of risk to interfere with your ability to "play" while AFK? That's cowardice.

What began as a routine encounter was quickly developing into a fully fledged debate. Aaaarrgg was happy to oblige.

All of our Agents are experts at verbal PvP. They have no shortage of opportunities to hone their skills--and they have to spend their 15-minute aggression timers somehow.

Agent Aaaarrgg began to think that maybe Grip wasn't lying about being an Anti-Ganker: He was clueless enough to be one of them.

Right then and there, Aaaarrgg resolved to tell this carebear the truth about the Code.

To be continued...

Friday, December 14, 2018

No One Treats the Newbies Better

"Don't you dare gank any newbies," warns the pro-theme park carebear. "Don't you dare chase them away from the game. Not now, when EVE so desperately needs their subscriptions to be renewed."

Let us set aside the facts: People who pilot blingy freighters--or, to be more accurate, autopilot them--are not newbies. Nor is there any evidence that ganking a new player makes him less likely to renew his subscription. Let's take the theme parkers at their word. Don't shoot newbros?

What happens when an innocent, doe-eyed newbie takes his first jump through a lowsec gate? What does the pro-newbie crowd do to him? Why, they shoot him without a second thought. And pod him, if they can. I suppose no one who lives in lowsec cares about CCP's subscription revenues.

Or suppose our skittish newbro somehow manages to find his way into a wormhole. Is he welcomed with open arms? No, he is not. He is immediately fired upon as soon as he is discovered. So protecting the newbies is not a luxury that can be afforded in J-space.

Surely nullsec, with all of its structure and its layers of bureaucracy, is more civilized. Many of the most strident advocates for newbie protection live out there in nullsec. If a brand-new player enters their territory, do they hold their fire? Alas, the newbie isn't blue, so they shoot him. And they do it as quickly as possible, to ensure they get on the killmail before the hundred other pilots in their blob can kill him.

So many people advocating for newbie rights--so many people so concerned for CCP's bottom line--and they all gank newbies. Interesting.

"But James 315," you say. "They have no choice but to shoot anyone who isn't blue. They don't have time to see if it's a newbie or not. They must defend their territory."

The Imperium currently has some 50,000 pilots under its command. They're really threatened by some newbie dipping his toes into their space?

Of course not. But all of these theme parkers--all of these walking examples of Malcanis' Law--shoot the newbie anyway. In lowsec, nullsec, or wormhole space, they can't gank him fast enough. Yet they have the gall to lecture the mighty CODE. alliance about sparing the newbies.

"But James 315," you say. "Highsec is different than the rest of the game. There is a completely different set of rules."

Finally, something upon which we agree! Highsec is different, and it does have its own set of rules.

It's called the Code.

The New Order is remarkably generous with its space. Despite all of the anti-Code propagandists' vilification of our brave Agents, you'll never meet a warmer, friendlier bunch of people. They've made highsec hospitable for newbies--and players of all other ages and experience levels. All we ask is that they follow the rules.

Everyone in EVE is free to visit highsec. We know from CCP's own statistics that highsec is by far the most populated area of the galaxy in both raw numbers and population density. We welcome people in; it's low/null/WH who keep them out. Only when an EVE player violates the Code do we kill him. Even then, we're merely treating the EVE player the same way anyone in low/null/WH does the very second they see him.

"But James 315," you say. "Newbies spawn in for the first time in highsec systems. You have a special responsibility." This is a silly argument. A new player begins life in a starter system, but he can be at the gates of lowsec within minutes. Regardless, CCP has implemented a detailed set of rules for starter systems and rookie missions to protect those with brand-new accounts. All of our Agents are in total compliance with these regulations and protocols. Our hands are clean, sparklingly so.

And what about everyone else--all the EVE players who didn't join the game two hours ago? Our friends in lowsec, nullsec, and wormhole space don't want to talk about them. The theme parkers, when they're at their keyboards and in their blobs, are surprisingly trigger-happy when it comes to the new players. Think of all those lost subscriptions. Tsk.

The truth is, the safest place for a new player to be is in the crosshairs of a disciplined, well-trained Agent of the New Order. Our people ensure that the good, Code-compliant players get their due. They also ensure that the guilty perish, which frees up space for everyone else.

We should all take a moment to appreciate and show gratitude to CODE. and the rest of the Agents of the New Order. And we should soberly reflect upon the hypocrisy of our critics.

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Nothing of Value, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Bob Painter and friends ganked a freighter owned by an alt of Kirith Kodachi. A few weeks later, Kirith delivered another freighter into their hands. Though he was aware that hitting Ctrl+Q wouldn't save his freighter, it was the only thing he could think to try. When his ship died, he blamed the stupidity of highsec and announced that he was quitting EVE.

The news of Kirith's decision hit Reddit, which simply linked Kirith's rage-quit announcement on Twitter.

Some EVE players expressed their disgust with the state of the game. progodlegend, a nullsec politician from years past, used the tragic event as an opportunity to call for the removal of ganking.

Like all other forms of combat in highsec, ganking was blamed for the decline of EVE. (Never mind that ganking and other forms of highsec fun were easier and more common during the years of EVE's ascent.)

progodlegend especially bemoaned the fate of newbies, who were being driven from the game instead of protected as they are in other MMORPGs. Newbies just like Kirith, who flew blingy freighters and joined EVE 12 years ago.

When Kirith's newbie status was called into question, progodlegend went into an extended rant about how blingy freighter pilots can be newbies, too.

Opinions varied, however. Not everyone mourned the loss of Kirith. Still another perspective was provided by Ripard Teg, author of the defunct "Jester's Trek" blog. He suggested that Kirith's longevity in the game made his departure all the more bitter.

It's bad when newbies leave, it's bad when crusty old vets leave... It's bad when anyone leaves EVE, unless they happen to enjoy wardecs or ganking or can-flipping or anything else that involves actually being at your keyboard in highsec.

Regardless, even on the EVE subreddit--a place with no shortage of carebears--people were willing to question whether it mattered if one less AFK freighter was autopiloting through the galaxy.

Many carebears threaten to quit the game, but most of them stick around. Despite the support of the community, Kirith held to his decision.
"After a decent night's sleep and a calmer mind I look back at the events of yesterday and I can say that...

I'm still done.

I appreciate the helpful advice in comments and on twitter, I really do. But at the end of the day my industrial activities in EVE were always a casual one man affair trying to have some fun making a small business on one screen while working on another and the two ganks this past month have shown me that its become more frustrating than its worth."
Kirith admitted that his entire modus operandi was to treat EVE as a background process, a game he "played" in the safety of highsec while doing something else on another screen. But gankers wouldn't let him get away with it. They were making a difference.
"I was at keyboard, watching ships around me, ready for danger and still I failed. I had to know the proper way to log off, I had to have scout alts, I had to wait for the right time, avoid certain systems, join channels, etc etc etc. On the other hand, the gankers sit there and ping a channel when a target is sighted, target me, hit F1, and get a kill. The asymmetry of it all galls me still, and has for years. If I can't casually have my high sec little business without this stress, I'm going to quit. Other's can have it."
The carebear insisted that he had done everything humanly possible to avoid being ganked. He had put in so much more effort than the gankers, who merely juggle freighter bumping and landing properly assembled fleets of gankers on their targets. Ganking is so much easier than selecting a system, hitting autopilot, and going AFK for 15 minutes.

This time, though, Kirith claimed to have been fully attentive.

...Unlikely, given his history.

Regardless of the wisdom of sending a blingy, unscouted freighter into one of the most famous freighter-ganking systems in highsec, Kirith was done. He opposed ganking on principle. If people want to shoot each other in highsec, they can use wardecs.

...Or not. Mere weeks before his departure, Kirith was calling for the abolition of wardecs, too.

Perhaps it's not such a terrible thing that Kirith left the game. Given the choice, I would prefer to keep the players who actually play the game, rather than those who spend their time advocating the elimination of gameplay in favor of 100% safety to "relax" or look at another screen.

One question remains, however. From the Reddit thread:

Why didn't Anti-Ganking save Kirith's freighter?

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Nothing of Value, Part 1

Agent Bob Painter reports a significant victory in the struggle for highsec:

Bob and his friends successfully detained and destroyed an 8.7 billion isk freighter. The freighter pilot was attempting to illegally transport its cargo without a permit--and all while AFK. Nothing we haven't seen before. But what makes this kill unusual is that we have the opportunity to read about the battle from the freighter's perspective.

The freighter pilot was the alt of an EVE blogger, one Kirith Kodachi. He wrote at length about his taste of elite PvP.
"I planned out my purchases, set the buy orders for minerals, and headed to Jita for the more esoteric planetary parts. On the way back I manually piloted gate to gate always on the lookup for problems... but after I passed Udema I got relaxed and I allowed myself to get distracted for 15 minutes after warping to the Balle gate."
Kirith freely admitted that he was relaxed and distracted--that is to say, AFK. His opponents on the battlefield were actually playing the game, which put them at an advantage.
"I got back to my computer and my heart froze: a Macharial was yellow boxing me and had bumped me 76 km off the gate.

Oh Shit."
That sensation is the effect of emergent content in a competitive PvP sandbox game. EVE shouldn't be relaxing.
"I knew I was already fucked but I closed the client anyway and logged in an alt that I zoomed over to Balle. I tried to bump the Mach away from bumping me but it was a lost cause. I watched sadly as another newbie ship suicide ran my freighter to keep the timer going.

The Mach pilot opened up a convo with me and asked for a billion ISK to let it go. 'I already have a fleet of catalysts on the way, but you pay me and we'll just gank something in Udema.' I said no figuring that paying it would only add to my total loss. There is no trust in EVE.

I made a counter offer. 'Let me go and then I'll give you 1 bil.'

'That's not how this works,' he replied.

It was worth a shot."
The bumper performed admirably. And he saw right through the carebear's deception.
"Finally 15 minutes later (and 25 minutes after I logged out) the catalyst fleet arrived. The end loss was almost 9 billion ISK, of which 1 billion came out my pocket (for the ship), the rest hitting the bottom line of the corporation.

Later I picked myself back up, got back to Jita, got a new freighter, another load of parts, and even more carefully made my way back to base, ready to kill the client at the first sign of anyone looking at me sideways. I made it back without incident.

High sec sucks."
Kirith made the classic mistake of choosing to AFK autopilot through hostile territory with an anti-tanked 8.7 billion isk freighter. Naturally, he blamed highsec.

An unfair characterization. Highsec is only as stupid as the player. Even so, EVE players are expected to make mistakes--and to learn from them.

A few weeks later, Kirith lost another one, this time in the freighter graveyard of Niarja. Surely he learned his lesson this time?

Nope. The game was too stupid to learn, it seems.

Kirith returned to Twitter to announce his departure from the game.

Though he didn't deny that he was rage-quitting, he blamed EVE's game mechanics for failing to save his ship from the people who were actually at their keyboards.

This time, Kirith claimed that he wasn't relaxed or distracted; he was a fully attentive player. However, he made no attempt to take any of the precautions that freighter pilots are expected to make when traveling through New Order space. Instead, he relied on the tactic of logging off after he was bump-tackled.

As everyone knows, logging off does little good after your opponent already has you in his clutches. Just ask CYV0K, who lost his titan--the first ever built--while logged off, way back in 2006. When a freighter is bump-tackled, gankers typically have one cheap ship designated to fire upon it. This activates an aggression timer that prevents a logged-off freighter from eventually disappearing. That's why the list of killers on a freighter killmail often has a rookie ship or other low-damage dealer at the bottom.

This mechanic has been around forever--and Kirith was entirely familiar with it. As he wrote in the blog post of his earlier encounter:
"I knew I was already fucked but I closed the client anyway and logged in an alt that I zoomed over to Balle. I tried to bump the Mach away from bumping me but it was a lost cause. I watched sadly as another newbie ship suicide ran my freighter to keep the timer going."
In other words, Kirith knew ahead of time that his cowardly log-off maneuver would do nothing to save his ship. Yet it was the only tactic he could be bothered to use--even while sending a blingy freighter through Niarja.

Though you've probably never heard of Kirith, he is not unknown among the EVE community. And when the collective carebears of EVE learned that gankers had driven him from the game, there would be hell to pay.

To be continued...

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

The Future's So Bright You Gotta Wear Shades

If you end up like this:

...You'll probably be sent something like this:

Agent Minx Mattel gave Liyan Amurao a warm welcome to the new highsec. There was a lot to process in that little EVEmail, and Liyan had three reactions--so he sent three replies.

Agent Minx must have been disappointed. You'd think at least one of those three EVEmails would be accompanied by 10 million isk.

Minx was full of information and insight. And there was no risk of being scammed or sold a fake permit; our Agent belonged to the mighty CODE. alliance.

Still, the miner had concerns.

Once again, Agent Minx was able to put Liyan at ease. With all questions having been answered, there was only one thing to do now: Buy a permit.

Yet there was a part of Liyan that made him hesitate. There was a little bit of greed nagging at his soul. He couldn't quite bring himself to part with all 10 million isk. He wanted to keep a fraction of Minx's hard-won isk for himself.

Minx tended to doubt that the miner would qualify for reimbursement. Even so, the Saviour of Highsec works wonders. You never know. Reading the name of the Saviour brought out Liyan's true nature: Another multi-reply.

That final million isk proved to be a stumbling block. It stood in the way of Liyan's progress.

...But our Agents are experts at kicking away stumbling blocks.

There was no turning back. Liyan bought his very first mining permit! A few minutes later, the greed-pangs came back:

While his permit purchase was being processed, Liyan took up Minx's invitation to file a petition for reimbursement.

Many come to EVE Online in search of a better tomorrow. Most don't find it. And among those who do find it, it's never by accident. There is only one path to a bright future: the Code.

Liyan took his first step.