Friday, November 24, 2017

The Lost Puppy

Agents of the New Order are the rock stars of EVE. One of the consequences of this indisputable fact is that our Agents tend to attract a crowd. Most of these followers are harmless--but some are rebels with wickedness in their hearts.


Agent Pure Whyte noticed that he was being followed from system to system by a Sacrilege pilot named Zaur N. According to Zaur's profile, he was a "Ghost, Assassins and Spy". Not the kind of person you want shadowing you.


Once Zaur realized that he'd been made, he began taunting Pure Whyte in local. Our Agent had no patience for this nonsense; he had plenty of killmails to prove his elite PvP status. If Zaur didn't respect that, then obviously something was wrong with him. Perhaps our hero had ganked him before?


He had indeed. A few weeks earlier, Zaur lost a Sacrilege to one of Pure Whyte's gank squads. Zaur was still holding a grudge after all this time?


True, Zaur had also lost his pod during the same gank. But that was no excuse for Zaur to go around stalking Agent Pure.


Pure Whyte continued to go from system to system, from anomaly to anomaly. Zaur trailed close behind, mocking our Agent along the way.


...Until he exploded. Pure Whyte led Zaur right into a trap. Agent Ralliana was waiting with an ambush. Zaur lost another Sacrilege.


Zaur was repaid for his arrogance and creepiness.


Our Agents gave the would-be resistance fighter some tough love. In their considered judgment, it was the only way to get through to someone like Zaur N.


Alas, the rebel was slow to learn. Two hours later, Zaur N resumed his stalking, only to find himself losing another ship--killed by Ralliana using the same method. From that point forward, Zaur stopped making a nuisance of himself. There are only two options in highsec: Obey the Code or explode.

Thursday, November 23, 2017

From Toad to Prince, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Aaaarrgg was doing his part to save highsec when he happened upon a scandalous AFK miner in a Madirmilire asteroid belt. Prince Ugly admitted that he only played EVE because he could "play" the game AFK--while he was at work!


The miner expressed his unorthodox view of video games. According to Prince, one must choose between working full time or ganking miners full time. He chose to work, which meant that he needed to spend all day idling in the asteroid belts of highsec.


It only got worse. Prince's entire week was dedicated to AFK isk grinding. He wouldn't even take a day off to enforce the Code. What a Scrooge!


Prince finally took the time to read the post-gank termination notice that our Agent had sent him. The miner claimed to be playing EVE and arranging his life the way he wanted to, but his foul mood proved that he wasn't enjoying himself.


Aaaarrgg tried to open Prince's eyes to what was possible in EVE. The carebear deflected, throwing his own grandmother under the bus. What kind of person does that?


Then, out of the blue, Prince asked a question about how to buy a mining permit. Could it be...?


Prince was a singularly unlikely candidate for permit ownership. Until now, he'd been as hardened and stubborn a bot-aspirant as our Agent had ever seen. But there's an old saying that goes all the way back to the early days of the New Order...


"My wallet is filled with the isk of those who said they would never pay."


There was no denying that Prince Ugly had transferred the money to buy a permit. Yet he had done so in a sarcastic manner. Was he really going to follow the Code, or was this some sort of 10 million isk joke?


Agent Aaaarrgg was watching this miner like a hawk. At the first sign of non-compliance, ganking would resume.


The conversation took another sudden and unexpected turn. But our Agent stayed focused. On target.


Aaaarrgg's persistence paid off. There were plenty of times when it would've seemed reasonable to give up on Prince Ugly. However, Agents of the New Order all share an unshakable faith in the ultimate triumph of the Code.


The miner placed his newly purchased permit in his bio. Even so, he used small text for the permit. Aaaarrgg remained watchful.


It's easy for miners to be tempted to return to their old ways after purchasing a permit. Luckily for them, they're constantly monitored by a team of heroic Agents--the people who make EVE what it is.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

From Toad to Prince, Part 1


I don't think this got much coverage in the big EVE news sites, but the New Order won a key victory in the war against bot-aspirancy: An unlicensed Retriever was successfully ganked by our Agents. The miner's Kernite became especially fiery that day.


After what seemed like an eternity, Prince Ugly roused himself and tried to warn other carebears about that whole "miner ganking" thing that was going on.


Agent Aaaarrgg offered soothing words to console the miner, but he was rebuffed. Prince Ugly was the kind of miner who gnashes his teeth while claiming not to be angry.


With the assistance of a well-placed emoticon, Aaaarrgg engaged in some high-speed rapport building and got the miner to confess his guilt in no time at all. They make this look so much more difficult on TV.


Prince Ugly didn't care about his loss--but he despised those who killed him. At the same time, he despaired of doing anything about it. The miner was sliding into nihilism.


Just as Agent Aaaarrgg was getting ready to type a really persuasive argument into local chat, he was interrupted by yet another disaffected carebear.


Gias Octavian, a hauler pilot, was tired of trying to dodge gankers. He vowed to quit the game. (Studies show that he probably won't.)


Gias Octavian didn't give his stuff to Aaaarrgg, so our Agent's attention returned to the whiny miner. Prince Ugly was a hardened bot-aspirant. Convincing him to buy a permit would be a monumental task.


Our hero deployed the name of the Saviour of Highsec. Prince's resistance didn't soften, though. There would be no silver bullet solution today.


Aaaarrgg had no choice but to put in the work. He deftly parried the miner's argument. Now it was Aaaarrgg's turn to go on the offensive.


The true depth of Prince's bot-aspirancy was revealed: He had no intention of playing EVE "actively". He preferred video games where he could be inactive while working his RL job.


There was no doubt that if Prince could safely bot, he would. The odds of selling a mining permit to someone like this weren't good. Not good at all.

To be continued...

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

This Round's On Me

Was it a dark omen? Agent Zapp Blappington dispatched two newly minted gank alts to the ice anomaly in the Mitsolen system. His intended target, Raymond Yudinov, immediately warped out after watching Zapp's gank alts land on a faulty warp-in.


The good news is that Raymond wasn't AFK; his reflexes were decent, even. But Raymond clearly suffered from unauthorized thoughts and beliefs about the Code.


Highsec miners are creatures of routine, and they're pretty much all alike. Even so, every once in a while, a miner will do something unusual. Sen Zhou heard the discussion about mining permits and floated the possibility of a system-wide permit.


Sen Zhou's "system permit" idea was a question of first impression for Agent Zapp. He consulted his copy of the Code and determined that there was no basis for it.


Raymond's Goofus status was confirmed: He became more irritable after hearing my name.


Although the Code didn't allow for the Mitsolen system itself to be granted a mining permit, Sen couldn't shake the idea. She followed up with a question about buying a permit for all 25 players in local. Zapp agreed that this was feasible.


Whenever someone suggests that they might purchase a permit (or permits), it tends to trigger the other miners in local. Raymond warned Sen against it. However, Sen was a classic case of a miner who runs the numbers. Buying a permit makes too much sense not to do it.


Still, Sen had some qualms. Agent Zapp was very reassuring, though. Our Agents ooze credibility and trustworthiness.


The miner did some additional reading. For the hardened rebels watching her in local, she was getting a little too close to a pro-Code stance. Tension grew thick in Mitsolen.


Finally, Sen decided it was too good an idea to pass up. She announced that she was buying mining permits for everyone in the system.


Agent Zapp prepared to open his wallet. It was a good day to be an Agent of the New Order.


By receiving a quarter-billion isk in one sale, Zapp's isk/hr ratio went through the roof. More importantly, he had served the Code. Impressively, Sen Zhou even bought a permit for crusty old Raymond.


Of course, it's not enough simply to buy a permit--or to have one bought for you. To benefit from Sen's generosity, the miners would need to display the mining permit in their bio (as Sen did) and obey the Code.


In the New Order, victories tend to lead to more victories. Our Agent used Sen's isk to help fund the purchase of his first 315 shares in the New Order. And one good turn deserves another: Zapp decided to purchase the shares in Sen Zhou's name. Who in highsec wouldn't want to participate in a glorious movement like ours?

Monday, November 20, 2017

The Evolution from Bot to Man

A report from Ignebaener:
"The Blue Ice field which Ignebaener houses was visibly sick, with many bot and bot-aspirant pilots pillaging it. There were several Orcas, many fleets of Retrievers, and most sickeningly, an Obelisk. An ice field is no place for a large freighter, and this was the pinnacle of evidence that the pilots here needed to be instructed in the ways of the Code and James 315."
But who would act? Who would take a stand for the Code?


Yucie Van Burean would.
"As soon as they saw me descend into the ice field, the Obelisk fled. Perhaps it was ready to embrace the Code. However, I had a job to do, so I set my mind to my work - and immediately began bumping the Orcas far from their scavenging Retrievers. In a very short time I was able to remove all of the fleets of bots and bot-aspirants, and the Blue Ice of Ignebaener was again able to shine brightly under the blue sun. A short while later one of the bot-aspirant pilots contacted me, Denins. He spoke Slovakian, but I was able to instruct him to use English..."

It appears that Denins was able to use a translator to speak with Agent Yucie. If anyone can send us a good Slovakian translation of the Code--or any other language we don't yet have--let us know.


It turned out that Denins was an anarchist. He didn't understand that controlling the highsec miners is our business.


Unsurprisingly, Denins had been ganked by Goons several months earlier. Now he was dealing with a bumper.


Like all miner bumpers, Yucie was good at multitasking. If one miner is stubborn and slow to accept the Code, another miner may be bumped in the meantime.


Since the beginning of the Code, gankers and bumpers have worked together. Gankers leave a more terrifying impression on the isk-obsessed carebears, while bumpers wield greater power in the moment. A single bumper can clear an entire system.


On the other hand, it can take a miner a while to "get" bumping. Denins was in disbelief that his ship could be disabled by another player without so much as a peep from CONCORD. Yucie bookmarked the miner by bountying him for 315,315 isk. Unlike carebears' impotent revenge bounties, our Agents' "mark of 315" method serves a useful function.


Agent Yucie continued to juggle the miners of Ignebaener. Bit by bit, the miners showed improvement. Even getting the silent miners to speak up in local is a positive development.


...And if the miner struggles to understand what is happening to him, no matter. Bumpers have infinite ammo.


Some miners attempt to engage in a test of wills with a bumper, repeatedly returning to the ice field or asteroid belt. The miner always loses this contest. After all, highsec mining by its very definition requires very long periods of uninterrupted "work". A carebear who doesn't feel confident that his barge will still be in the belt after he returns from going AFK is a carebear who will soon quit mining.


Denins tried to be better, but he didn't yet meet Yucie's standards. Nevertheless, the miner unambiguously sought our Agent's approval. That's a long journey from "I can do whatever I want."