Tuesday, November 12, 2019

The Best Revenge, Part 13

Previously, on MinerBumping...


Once he was known as anaCheeya ANARKY. When the mighty CODE. alliance came for him, he rebelled.


anaCheeya vowed to resist the Code with all of his power. Things changed, though. anaCheeya changed.


Biomassed and reborn as aiva naali, the former rebel purchased a mining permit and embarked on a long journey. His goal: To lead the Imperium to victory against Pandemic Horde. First, however, he would need to pass a security check, which involved him paying a lot of isk to a lot of people.


Central to aiva's identity was his series of secret weapon projects. One of these superweapons, the "wreaking ballqual", was nearing completion.


aiva, known on Discord as "quantum", engaged in serious discussions about the wreaking ballqual and other fantastic ideas. His friends in the New Order and the Imperium passed the time by listening to him.


In the not-so-distant past, Agent Aiko Danuja scolded aiva for discussing his superweapons in a public channel. Luckily, Discord was a safe place for aiva to spread his wings.


...And when aiva's extraordinary mind gave birth to a new idea, watch out.


High-level strategy began to burst forth.


As usual, aiva focused on how to defeat Pandemic Horde using tactics that no one in Goon leadership had thought of yet. For some reason, aiva's military plans often involved the use of mining ships.


It never occurred to aiva that the Imperium might not be particularly interested in going to war after growing fat from years of peaceful krabbing. From aiva's perspective, there was an urgent need to conquer Pandemic Horde space, right now. And only he knew how to do it.


Agent Kalorned offered his feedback on aiva's latest plan.


aiva could not be distracted from his mission. Soon the wreaking ballqual would be tested, and Pandemic Horde's days were numbered.

To be continued...

Monday, November 11, 2019

The Best Revenge, Part 12

Previously, on MinerBumping... It appeared as though aiva naali was reeling from the consequences of spilling secrets about his superweapons in a public channel. Then, without warning, he revealed that it had all been a ploy to manipulate Pandemic Horde.


In the safety and security of a Discord channel, aiva spoke freely about his grand plan. Unlike his previous deceptions, the project code-named "muse" was very real.


aiva was operating several steps ahead of everyone else in nullsec. To make extra money, he planned to sell superweapons that he would then render obsolete by countering them with new superweapons. And why not? The fellow never ran out of ideas.


Unfortunately, there was still the matter of the security deposit. aiva would not be able to join the Imperium in any official capacity until it was paid off.


The background check, conducted by Goons, had been a long and winding road. aiva could scarcely keep track of whether he'd already paid his security fees.


aiva didn't care about money, though. Isk wasn't his priority anymore. He was determined to get a leadership position at the highest levels of the Imperium. In aiva's eyes, that goal was almost within reach.


But, again, the money.


For a fleeting moment, aiva considered the remote possibility that he might be handing over billions of isk in exchange for nothing. But if that happened, he could simply take his revenge by dismantling the Imperium.


Finally, aiva received word from someone with the authority to speak on behalf of GoonSwarm Federation. Donatien Alphonse Francois wasn't actually a member of the alliance, but he seemed trustworthy enough.


From the start, aiva's personal finances were shrouded in mystery. On some occasions, he was flush with cash and buying skill injectors like they were going out of style. But on other occasions, aiva appeared to be flat broke, mining Veldspar in highsec with a Venture. Now he owed billions to Donatien and his Goon security team. Yet aiva was confident he could raise the funds within a day.


aiva's debts grew. Was he full of it--or could he deliver?


Sure enough, aiva came through with the isk, right on time. Now he could set his grand plan in motion.


But, again, the money.

To be continued...

Sunday, November 10, 2019

Kills of the Week

Audacity. That's what carebears have--even if they don't know it--when they attempt to travel through highsec without permission from the New Order. The most outrageous thing: They think they can get away with it. But they cannot. As we'll see from these examples from the week of November 3rd @ 00:00 EVEtime through November 9th @ 23:59 EVEtime...



You're what?


You see what I was saying about audacity? Diana Eos audaciously sent her freighter on autopilot through Niarja without so much as a mining permit to her name. Then she asked me to send her a bunch of money when her ship was ganked by Agents Jani Rackner, Ashlee Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Yan Rackner, Phoenix Rackner, Emily Rackner, Olivia Rackner, Zoe Rackner, Jemma Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, Ivy Rackner, Charlotte Rackner, Globby Rackner, Georgia Rackner, Benji Rackner, eviserater Adoudel, Adara Gaea, and hegils. Outrageous!



naHmepa added his 13 billion isk Charon to the freighter graveyard in Jita. His crime of bot-aspirancy guaranteed that he would be sentenced to death by Agents Jackson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jason Kusion, Etriza, Homoerotic Finger Painting, and Jacob Kusion. In a system so populous--one with so many bystanders to bear witness--how could such a thing happen again? But it will.



Legion Solette's blingy Golem went boom when he dared to defy the Code. Some friendly NPCs even took part:


Yes, somehow Agent Krig Povelli talked Legion into CONCORDing himself in a 3.2 billion isk ship. Apparently Legion was in a bad mood at the time; barely seven minutes earlier, he lost a 1.2 billion isk Rattlesnake during a fight with Agent Krig. Carebears, wouldn't it be cheaper to simply buy a permit from Krig instead of fighting him?



Another blingy Marauder bites the dust. But at least DAda Zh's 5.7 billion isk Paladin died the old-fashioned way: Ganked by Agents Votre Dieu, Astrid Tyrfing, Rungerd, Narl' Amhar, and Ingrid Scylding.



Farah Black also had a blingy battleship. Realizing that he made an attractive target even in highsec, Farah tried to make a "travel fit" of sorts with a rack of Warp Core Stabilizers. However, our heroes didn't need to tackle him. Agents Zhung Fei, Rante Charante, Vlada Inkunen, Ukira Kunero, and Ariku Orenuk simply fired upon the villain with a squad of Tornadoes.



Incredibly, Jung-Hoon managed to lose 5.5 billion isk to a single Vexor piloted by Agent Votre Dieu. Jung-Hoon's ship only had 1,625 hitpoints--and no permits of any kind. What manner of Goofus was this Jung-Hoon?


You guessed it--the worst kind. Goblok central!

Saturday, November 9, 2019

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #196

Agent Bauldis Tivianne was curious about the power of the bump. So he found a highsec miner and tried bumping him.


...Which brings us to the latest edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!


Though some of the rebels attempt to downplay the influence of the Code, the truth is that we're pretty much the thing going on in EVE.


Miners are as bad at reading the EULA as they are at reading the Code. Phantom provisions everywhere!


...And another family member thrown under the bus.


Japanese miner Sgr displayed a permit in his bio, but was it genuine? Let's see:

It's time to know that the world is empty.
Manyoshu Vol.5

When I returned, I was kamikaze on the first day. It has become a harsh world for farmers.
I'm paying for the mining rights. What is an intelligent kaza?
The decline in primary industry workers is likely to accelerate, but what about?
The universe has become a terrorist paradise. Oh Buddha.

I will not do anything other than digging. I won't be able to laugh at myself.
I think that if I can plant corn, I will probably plant it. I can't.
We carry the shipping business very rarely. I'm happy that the track is MT.
Later, Raznaborg Damavik was Nandeska.

The terrorists told me to write this.

** Issued: 2019/10/23 Expires: 2020/10/22 **
Enforcement Officer: Mysti Fi
Permit ID # 2F02C9A182

That's the farmer system. The tie-in style is a guy.


Nice try, carebear.


All things considered, the skill training system in EVE is not that important. Our Agents are the ones who help their fellow players gain skill.


Most highsec miners lack social skills. For some reason, they introduce accusations into what could otherwise be a pleasant conversation.


If you truly want to engage an Agent, you must first be willing to show some trust.


Carebears can be so cynical.


I haven't scammed anyone since, what, 2006? You see what I mean about accusations?


Bot-aspirants are often happiest when quitting EVE. That strongly suggests that they're not cut out for the game.


"Happy" may be an exaggeration, though.


So much for "harassing people out of isk". Our Agents play EVE to make highsec--and the world--a better place. And that is most definitely within the bounds of the EULA. Always!

Friday, November 8, 2019

Finder's Fee

As everyone knows, Agents of the New Order don't like to see unlicensed miners mucking about in highsec. And you know who else is offended by the sight of miners?


...Other miners.


Richard The-Crusader, a bot-aspirant miner whose exploits were covered in the Parental Advisory series, contacted Agent Lewak and asked him to terminate some illegal miners. But judging by Richard's behavior as recounted on MinerBumping, his motives were suspect. Here's a tidbit to refresh your memory:


Even worse, when making his report to Lewak, Richard requested a "finder's fee". Was he still motivated by greed for isk?


Agent Lewak now had two issues to deal with: A report about illegal mining operations, and Richard's attitude. Our hero resolved to handle both matters in accordance with the Code.


Our Agents are not so easily manipulated--and they know not to trust the word of a miner.


From the moment Lewak uttered the word "permit", Richard was triggered. The very idea that Richard might be required to open his wallet was enough to make him squeal. That said something about him.


Richard's odd ramblings about trying to get miners to go to nullsec proved ineffective. Next he tried bribery.


Agent Lewak was not for sale. But to make absolutely sure he hadn't misjudged Richard's intentions, Lewak name-dropped the Saviour of Highsec. If Richard truly had a bot-aspirant heart, the mention of James 315 would trigger him further still.


Sure enough, Richard was rattled. He confessed to being a miserly rebel.


Lewak concluded that Richard was indeed acting in bad faith. As to the illegal mining operation that Richard reported, Lewak and his friends would deal with it at their leisure. In the meantime, Richard needed to hand over 10 million isk. Would that arrangement satisfy him?


Richard didn't realize it, but he helped our Agent locate a Goofus after all.