Tuesday, October 15, 2019

The Best Revenge, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... anaCheeya ANARKY swore revenge after losing an Orca to a wormhole PvP'er. Alas, anaCheeya only succeeded in losing a Rorqual in lowsec and moving to highsec. Once there, anaCheeya lost yet another Orca, this time to friends of Agent Kalorned.

Kalorned was curious about the lonely miner. anaCheeya obliged Kalorned's curiosity by unveiling all of his plans.

Earlier that day, anaCheeya had indeed created a corporation called null sec nomads. Which explained precisely nothing about his decision to lose an Orca in highsec.

The miner confessed to Agent Kalorned that he was planning to engage in AFK carebearing. Everything that would happen to anaCheeya from this point forward ultimately stemmed from that motivation.

These were indeed damning chat logs. And how did the Saviour of Highsec come to acquire them, you ask?

...An unsolicited EVEmail from the miner himself. But anaCheeya was not willing to be fully transparent. He only provided me with the logs of his convo with Kalorned.

In the meantime, the miner had also been speaking with some of our other Agents. With them, he was not so courteous.

Unfortunately for anaCheeya, the transcripts were full of evidence of his bot-aspirancy.

Side note: You may recall William Rageclaw from the William's Rage series. Since the events of that series, William joined up with the New Order and dedicated himself to helping with the rehabilitation of wayward miners like anaCheeya.

Confident that he was untouchable, anaCheeya fired off one smoking gun after another. He was highsec's new kingpin of crime.

Despite anaCheeya's newfound supervillain status, Agent William hoped to sell the miner a permit. anaCheeya had a lot of demands, but there were limits to what even William could do for him.

Agent Aiko Danuja didn't mince words--there was no time for that. This miner needed to get compliant with the Code right away, or else his EVE career would surely meet an untimely end.

anaCheeya had to admit that his criminal intellect wouldn't be enough to save him from further ganks. Maybe buying a permit really was the only way out of this mess.

And so anaCheeya purchased a mining permit. But could the kingpin truly be convinced to comply with the Code?

To be continued...

Monday, October 14, 2019

The Best Revenge, Part 1

Life in highsec can be strange. The random, unsolicited EVEmails I receive from people prove it.

A fellow named anaCheeya ANARKY sent me a message perfectly out of the blue. Cryptic references to dolphins and traps only added to its mystery. To understand anaCheeya--and I did want to understand him--I would need to go back into his history and find out more.

A few weeks earlier, anaCheeya lost an Orca in a wormhole to a PvP'er named spawnscum. So far, none of this seemed to have anything to do with me or my beloved highsec.

anaCheeya was angry--that much was clear. He threatened spawnscum with eternal revenge.

As far as I could tell, spawnscum had no affiliation with the New Order. He was interested in shooting spaceships in wormholes, not enforcing the Code.

Most of the time, when someone is killed for reasons other than the Code, the victim is silent and moves on; they do not normally shed tears like unlicensed highsec miners do. Yet there was a flame that burned inside anaCheeya. One quite reminiscent of a bot-aspirant carebear.

anaCheeya craved revenge, but he knew he had no way of getting it--for now, at least. First he would need to grow in strength and power.

It would not be an easy road. A few weeks later, he lost a fail-Rorqual worth 3.5 billion isk in lowsec. anaCheeya understood that he couldn't continue like this. He decided to reinvent himself on the spot. anaCheeya created a corporation called null sec nomads.

And then, naturally, he headed straight for highsec.

It was there that anaCheeya met a man who would change his life.

anaCheeya didn't know it yet, but the unassuming stranger was about to introduce him to a whole new world. For the moment, though, they merely engaged in a staring contest, locking each other without firing.

The miner was intrigued by Agent Kalorned. Although they seemed to be rivals competing for the same rats, perhaps a mutually beneficial relationship could be forged between the two.

...Or maybe Kalorned was a warp-in for the gank fleet in system.

Out of nowhere, dozens of Catalysts fell upon anaCheeya's Orca, ripping it to shreds. That was the end of anaCheeya's Orca.

...But it was only the beginning of his new friendship.

To be continued...

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Kills of the Week

Some say EVE is a bloated game. Perhaps it is. What we can all agree on, I think, is the need for EVE--development and players alike--to get back to the basics. Chief among the basics: the Code. Start with the Code and work your way out, and you'll win every time. Always! Now check out these Gobloks from the week of October 6th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 12th @ 23:59 EVEtime:

I'm not sure why Kai Thellere expected anything less than a gank. Not only did he undock in a Hulk in 2019--he decided to sweeten the ship with bling. Agents shootyou longtyme, Laniya Takayama, and obgyn kANOBI were only too happy to treat the Hulk pilot to a dose of reality.

Trax Estidal was a nervous fellow. He had a Paladin worth 4.3 billion isk, and that's not even counting the value of its five Abyssal mods. To keep his precious ship safe, he hid himself in a 0.8 security system. Then, in a moment of weakness, he dropped his guard.

It probably wasn't a good idea to tangle with these guys. Agents Dethorian Alinias, Krig Povelli, and Berger Luckmann happily gave Trax the PvP he'd been missing.

No one can say how long it took Blind Johnny to collect his 6 billion isk. But it took only seconds to lose. Bling Johnny--shall we call him "Bling Johnny"?--sent his piƱata into Uedama, where it was broken by Agents Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jason Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jake Kusion, and Jack Kusion. Most of the value was lost. Johnny shouldn't have been so wasteful with his time.

Whatever her intentions, Klitouris found herself funding the Kusion family when she handed them a 12.7 billion isk killmail and nearly 11 billion of loot. To avoid enriching Code enforcers, perhaps the anti-Code carebears should tell everyone to obey the Code? Agents Jake Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jason Kusion, and Caution AsianDrivers Ahead made Uedama proud yet again. When will these stubborn carebears change their ways?

Mammoths aren't known for their sturdiness, even when their pilots aren't foolish enough to anti-tank them. Larson Stole had 4 billion isk to move, yet he couldn't be bothered to spend any money on hitpoints. No matter. Larson delivered everything he had into the hands of Agents Zhung Fei and Ariku Orenuk, who barely activated their guns before being rewarded with an explosion.

DutchGunner lost a 5.3 billion isk Impel when he was ambushed by a Tornado gang camping a 1.0 security system. Never one to miss an opportunity, Agent Aaaarrgg snatched the pod and earned a killmail worth nearly half as much as the Impel that birthed it.

Aaaarrgg and his fellow pod-smashers are the reason why you don't see very many people sporting expensive implants these days. Yet our heroes will not rest until highsec achieves total compliance.

Saturday, October 12, 2019

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #194

If EVE is still around in 7 years, we'll be right here waiting for him. Welcome to the one hundred ninety-fourth edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

Even "newbies" are well-versed in the Phantom Provision these days. Our Code is so famous that new players have already read stuff that's not in it.

Once you take away the "newbie" excuse, the miners have little but ASCII copypasta to work with.

Technically speaking, "You're like ALOISOVICH" qualifies as a Miner Bingo square.

The elite PvP reputation cultivated by some wormholers has taken quite a hit in the past few months. Highsec PvP remains the endgame. Carebears say that highsec PvP causes players to end their game, right?

Singedislife420 Sunji accused our Agent of costing him 500k "for nothing". Apparently miners expect party favors with their ganks.

Is there any situation a miner can't mischaracterize in a one-line EVEmail?

The grammar is a bit confusing, but Ruth Doyle claimed that what you are in game is what you are in real life. She then declared herself a "sick piece of shit". Again, her grammar was poor.

Typical miner: "I didn't have any problems with the law until I got busted for breaking the law."

Kelson Katelo despaired that his permit didn't enable him to safely mine AFK. But the question he should've asked is, what's the point in mining AFK? You're just going to get ganked.

Another case of poor grammar. I believe this miner confessed to being a bot-aspirant, though.

Carebears accuse our Agents of trying to harvest tears from the miners. Actually, our Agents' follow-up EVEmails provide the carebears with an opportunity to redeem themselves...

You see?

Besides, there's no need to "harvest" something that flows so freely as a consequence of normal, legitimate gameplay.