Wednesday, March 22, 2017

The Slow and the Furious, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Lawrence Lawton was idling in a station in Jita when his name was noticed in local by a pair of Code haters: Argyss Oqemi and Neocount. As the two raged, Lawrence tried quoting the Code to calm them down.
Neocount > Lawrence Lawton no, code is killing the fucking game, fucking alp[-has, pie3ces of shit, you wanna get your rocks off, get a prostitute, if you wanna pick on somebody, pick a fight in real life, you so much a coward you pick on freighters ineve
Lawrence Lawton > No, that's a fallacy. CCP commissioned a study showing that I improve player retention.
Lawrence Lawton > CCP Proves the New Order Was Right about Ganking and New Players
Lawrence Lawton > Grinding solo PvE scares off new players. Mining literally makes people quit.
Citing a classic MinerBumping post, Lawrence busted the carebear myth about gankers driving players away from the game.
Argyss Oqemi > lol
Argyss Oqemi > HE QUOTES HIS OWN SITE!!!
Neocount > the fallacy is you pedo's justifying your existance trying to blow up UNARMED people for you profit claiming it for whatever
Argyss Oqemi > Lawrence Lawton Im new and was thinking of quiting AGAIN, 5 year old character, 1.6m sp, wtf should i do?
Neocount--who had lost an Orca to CODE.--couldn't be reasoned with, but Argyss seemed interested in getting some good advice from an EVE expert.
Lawrence Lawton > Argyss Oqemi You should make some friends and go have fun with them. Teamwork is the cornerstone of an MMO.
Argyss Oqemi > so i cant really help a corp
Argyss Oqemi > but i want to play
Argyss Oqemi > Lawrence Lawton i suck at making friends, everyone always stabs me in the back and is only looking for themselves
Argyss Oqemi > i actually hate the world
Argyss poured out his heart for all Jita to see. Lawrence patiently listened to the miner's problems. Perhaps our Agent was making progress after all. And who knows? Maybe Neocount would start calming down, too.
Neocount > Lawrence Lawton your are the biggest piece of shit in this game and if ANYONE found out who you are, i would not worry a SECOND if they reported you were fucking killed
Neocount > you are making more ppl quit this game than anything else
Truii Tokila > What's all the hate in local? What'd I miss?
Goofus wishes our Agents were dead IRL. Gallant sees an Agent and says, "Thank you for your service."
Lawrence Lawton > No, I'm not. I think miners with bad attitudes are scaring off new players. I heard some alpha just entered Jita, saw your comment, and started crying.
Lawrence Lawton > Or maybe EVE isn't dying and it's all just a bunch of scaremongering
DIRTNAPZ > if eve was dying, it woulda happened already
Neocount > eve has at MAX 50k ppl logged in at once.... that is the SMALLEST MMO i have EVER played
Neocount > and i have played this over 6 years off and on
The miner claimed to be worried about EVE's player retention levels, but Lawrence was unconvinced. Neocount's hatred of the New Order was clearly motivated by something else. Something personal.
Lawrence Lawton > That's why we have a Saviour. Praise James 315!
Neocount > james 315 is the head pedophiles
Neocount > Lawrence Lawton is a pedo of eve
Neocount > he preys on the defenseless
Neocount > how honorable is that
Another test: Lawrence name-dropped the Saviour of Highsec. Doing this always cuts to the heart of the matter. That's why I've often said that my name is the ultimate litmus test. Neocount's reaction to hearing "James 315" immediately confirmed that he was a Goofus. It probably never even occurred to Neocount that he ought to praise me.
DIRTNAPZ > um, you dont eve much do you kid ?
DIRTNAPZ > undock from jita and i'll show you preying on defenless
DIRTNAPZ > and here you got concord supporting ur brokeback mountain arse
Neocount > yes, our shit CAN be stolen, and I"M pointing out that the pppl that would do such a thing, have the same mentality as pedophiles
Neocount was starting to draw attention from onlookers in Jita. They didn't take his side like he'd assumed they would.
Neocount > they prey on the defenseless, CODE is the pedophiles of Eve
DIRTNAPZ > Neocount undock so i can pod ur dumbass
Neocount > and as much as you assholes have cost All OF us in freight or shipping, i will SOCIALLY attack you end of story
Crua Elgot > Neocount I am intrigued by your ideas and if you send me 100m ISK I will subscribe to your newsletter.
Neocount's plan was to tarnish the Code's reputation in Jita. So far, however, the only image he had damaged was his own.
Lawrence Lawton > Neocount Oh you must be one of the freighter pilots caught up in Burn Jita.
Neocount > auctually i wasn't u uninformed unintelligent prick lawrence
Neocount > U
Neocount > i didn't get killed in burn jita
Neocount > what also doesn't change, the mentality of a pedophile
Annex Tormi > Neocount THAT escalated quickly
Agent Lawrence dropped more bait for Neocount, who quickly snatched it up. Now Lawrence was ready to show Jita a jaw-dropping killmail.
Lawrence Lawton > Kill: Neocount's Orca I see now where the Catalyst touched you. 6.6 billion ISK anti-tanked Orca in Uedama. Should have bought a permit!
Neocount > one that picks on defenseless people that have no way to stop a bump or a gank when numerous piece of shit alphas are involved
Neocount > you can buy this B==========D
Sean HellFire > Bro... everybody gets ganked sometimes. Its part of this game
Neocount was furious, though it's difficult to say whether his fury was in response to the Orca killmail going public, or merely a continuation of his preexisting fury.
Neocount > adn your gonna be blocked again, i'm switching back to my ps4, where the real gaming happens, not with your pedophiles
Lawrence Lawton > I left a jetcan by 5-17 station for you to deposit your tears in. I'll collect them later, I promise.
Neocount > Lawrence Lawton you prey on FREIGHTERS AND MINERS..... how in the FUCK do you fell ok abt that?
Kitten Pawz > Neocount, Do you even Damage Control II and Bulkhead bro?
Neocount > Kitten Pawz you are a piece of shit with CODE and are blocked
Having seen the Neocount killmail, the people of Jita had no sympathy for the miner. Neocount began to lash out against everyone around him.
Borisaurus > The whining in question -
Lawrence Lawton > Kill: Neocount's Orca Do you like making Carebears cry? Join the New Order! Spontaneous Tears in Jita Local relating to this month old loss
Neocount > Lawrence Lawton i wish your parents were worth a damn, they obliviously raised an entitled cocksucker outta you
Jezzer Shras > Glourious Knight Lawrence Lawton is fighting to save EVE from bots and bot aspirants. YOU should be thanking him for making the game a better place.
The scene turned into a feeding frenzy. With all of Jita supporting the New Order against Neocount, would the Goofus miner finally see reason?

To be continued...

Monday, March 20, 2017

The Slow and the Furious, Part 1

Jita holds a special place in the world of EVE. It's a system where fortunes can be made or lost in a day--often the same day, in the case of isk-doubling. It's also an incredibly busy system, a place where the teeming masses of highsec mingle together to exchange goods and ideas.
Argyss Oqemi > CODE is stupid
Argyss Oqemi > CODE == PEDOPHILE
Argyss Oqemi > hahaha
Neocount > CDOE are literally the pedophiles of eve
Neocount > and eveyone should spread the word abt that
Not all of the goods and ideas are legit. Just as there are contract scams with empty packages, there are also faulty ideas.
Neocount > Lawrence Lawton is in here? he's one of the head pedo's and i already have him blocked
Argyss Oqemi > is here currently or was
Argyss Oqemi > yea hes in system
Argyss Oqemi > that freaking pedophile
Two carebears struck up a conversation with each other in Jita. Argyss Oqemi was the first to speak; Neocount heard his anti-Code rhetoric and immediately embraced him.
Lawrence Lawton > My in-game character is certainly not a pedophile. I don't think there even are any children in this game.
Argyss Oqemi > you and all your CODE brethren are pedophiles, plain and simple
Argyss Oqemi > do you cannot tax the high security sector
Neocount > Argyss Oqemi thx Lawrence Lawton is a head pedophile
Lawrence Lawton > Show me where the catalyst touched you, miner.
Agent Lawrence Lawton was in Jita at the time and logged the criminal activity. After a brief investigation, he learned the source of Neocount's vendetta:

Several weeks earlier, Neocount had lost a 6.6 billion isk Orca in Uedama. He was still sore about it. Argyss' rantings in local inspired Neocount to voice his anger anew.
Argyss Oqemi > if you want to be serious enforcer dont send your pedo victims after me
Argyss Oqemi > its really messed up to make them do that for you after you touch them, and they are too shaken up to fight
Argyss Oqemi > CODE == PEDOPHILES
Neocount > Dude CODE are nothing but fucking Pedophile and i unblockedlawence fucking peophile to show that
Judging by the "conversation", Neocount was easily led. Unfortunately, he allowed himself to be led by a fellow carebear, rather than a responsible leader like one of our Agents.
Lawrence Lawton > Rude
Lawrence Lawton > New Order territory is a safe space for suicide gankers. Miners are required to put aside their prejudices and treat gankers with respect.
Neocount > the only people that attack defenseless people are CODE and pedophile
Neocount > Lawrence Lawton you are a RP piece of shit that has no morals nor capacity
DIRTNAPZ > he hates retards
The New Order believes in free speech, but it also has to be fair speech. Agent Lawrence politely reminded the miners that Jita local is meant to be used in service of the Code, not to thwart it.
Lawrence Lawton > Dunno. Lowsec gatecamps attack a lot of defenseless people.
Lawrence Lawton > Nullsec hotdrops attack a lot of defenseless people.
Neocount > you belong in null sec if you are gonna prey on defenseless people you piecfe of shit
Lawrence Lawton > I think the problem the expectation you seem to have of safety. Highsec is a dangerous place--get used to it.
Argyss Oqemi > its only dangerous because of pedophiles like you
It didn't take Lawrence long to win the argument. He had logic and facts on his side; the carebears only had their misguided rage.
Neocount > if you COULD PVP you would be in null sec but no, you prey on the defenseless
Neocount > the expectation is that i have is that people are decent human beings, you are not
Lawrence Lawton > Calm down, miner. Highsec is the elite PvP zone. There is neverending content.
Neocount > don't tell me to do anything you piecve of shit, you wanna take anyones' time or in game money?
All of Jita bore witness to the scene: A well-mannered, intelligent Agent, and a pair of vile, unruly carebears. Lawrence could sense that the crowd, though still mostly silent, was with him.
Argyss Oqemi > james315 has sexes with little ones
Lawrence Lawton > James 315 is the Supreme Protector of Highsec. Don't speak that way of your leader.
Argyss Oqemi > james315 == STUPID IDIOT
Neocount > \the security on is fucking pathetic
Argyss Oqemi > Neocount i noticed that as well, has been for a cpl of months
Argyss Oqemi > lets have some fun
Neocount and Argyss agreed that would be easy to hack or DDoS. That would have to wait, though. For the moment, they were content to make fools of themselves in local.
Lawrence Lawton > A mining permit would help you calm down. Send me 10m ISK and I'll get you sorted.
Shiu Len > james 315 can suck my code!!!!
Lawrence Lawton > James 315 is not interested in your sexual fantasies.
Neocount > you are a piece of shit, and you will always be nothing more than a piece of shit that preys on freighters and miners that can't defend themselves
Lawrence Lawton > Keep local clean. Miners should be courteous in local and should refrain from the use of profanity.
Lawrence repeatedly quoted the Code to show that the miners were in the wrong. Yet he was still having trouble getting through to them.
Argyss Oqemi > Lawrence Lawton i would like to shit on your chest
Lawrence Lawton > My in-game chest?
Argyss Oqemi > and piss on CODE
Argyss Oqemi > no irl, i would like to
Neocount > that's extortion and against every social rule in humanity, so i spread the rumor that you and your pedo f*g assh*le are nothing more than pedophiles
Neocount > that prey on the weak and try destroy
Our Agent was surprised to hear that Neocount was so concerned with upholding social rules. Up to this point, Lawrence had gotten the impression that Neocount didn't respect social rules very much.
Neocount > coward
Neocount > fucking coward
Neocount > nothing more than a fucking coward i8s all that james 315 is
Ella Sokarad > So nasty and rude in local tonight
Lawrence Lawton > Miners need to calm down. They're killing the game!
Neocount > no, code is killing the fucking game, fucking alp[-has, pie3ces of shit, you wanna get your rocks off, get a prostitute, if you wanna pick on somebody, pick a fight in real life, you so much a coward you pick on freighters ineve
Jita local was becoming almost as toxic as the Anti-Ganking channel. Lawrence worried that it might have a negative effect on the retention rates of new players. Was there any way to get these miners to calm down?

To be continued...

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Kills of the Week

"Ten million isk for a permit is too expensive," says the greedy miner. "I pay CCP for my subscription and no one else," the isk-grubber boasts. And then we hearing the bleating, "How can a newbie afford to buy a permit?" The real question is, how can a newbie afford not to buy one? For we all know that it's far more expensive to go without a permit. Consider the costs incurred by the following non-compliants, from the week of March 12th @ 00:00 EVEtime through March 18th @ 23:59 EVEtime:

Xeus Juntu tanked up his Mackinaw with a highly flammable substance: bling. The pricey mods attracted the notice of Agents Luna Nightblood, Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri, and Ralliana. As Agent Salah observed, the Mackinaw would've had 75k EHP, or 110k EHP if overheated--against Catalysts. So our infinitely versatile Agents brought Tornadoes instead.

Late last week, ohotnik15 was spotted flying a blingy Golem through The Forge region. Agents Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Richard, Ralliana, Pod Destroyer Molly, Luna Nightblood, Tax Collector Stroheim, and Underpaid Ship Mechanic knew there was something off about this guy. They rallied a force to take him down, but were surprised by what happened next:

ohotnik15 went batty and invited CONCORD onto the killmail.

How many freighters need to die before people learn how to use them properly? rashaverak apparently tried to "tank" his ship by filling it with cargo. The 29 billion isk behemoth signed his own death warrant. An indignant mob formed to stop him from continuing to flout the Code: Agents Synamic, Miros Homar, Dewzer Eyre, Ampelius Loukianos, ZAKURELL0 LINDA, Tantaria Stavanghar, Kyt Thrace, Yojiro, Blasty McVoidFace, neurothic, Alexis Grixis, Selo ibnSedef, Marcos Tolg, Whitney Wooberg, Bob Painter, Gea Stormbound, Liz Cadelanne, Grant Bant, Inspector Implant, Bint Bint, Catharina Hakoke, Jason Kusion, Skeezy McSkeez, Slipstream Prediouca, Dragalis Miraxim, Dirk Utama, Ivana Freemam, Joel Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Sinagico, Jake Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Lead Colonist Dallocort, Jayden Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joseph Kusion, The Tension, Joshua Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Sigmund Jund, Jasper Esper, and SynthiaGreey.

Another question: How many Deep Space Transports need to die before the carebears realize we're wise to their schemes? Acces thought he was very clever when he stuffed nearly 10 billion isk of cargo into his Bustard. But no one is cleverer than our Agents. Pod Destroyer Molly, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector HongMei, and Tax Collector GetGoodKid blapped the Bustard and were horrified by what they discovered:

6.2 billion isk in mining drones? Sickening.

The carebear mewls, "Why don't you shoot ships that can shoot back?" To which we must respond, "Why don't you fit weapons on your combat ships?" Freyion Serine abused a Gnosis hull by fitting it with mining equipment and cargo expanders. Agents William Telluric, Hero Of HiSec, and Tisiphone Dira arrived and gave it a merciful death.

Lion Gold's is a sad story. She was autopiloting in a completely unfit Heron-class frigate. It was destroyed, but her pod kept plodding along and jumped through the gate into Agent HARMONY ST0NER SMURF's system. That's where her journey ended.

In all, 4.6 billion isk worth of implants were evaporated. If you're curious what an Asklepian set does, it's similar to a Crystal set: It provides a bonus to your armor reps. A must-have for any unfit Heron pilot.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Wrapped Around Our Fingers

I've often observed that the Anti-Gankers live in a sort of anti-reality; they see the world in reverse. Thus, if you want to get a clear picture of EVE, simply join the Anti-Ganking channel and invert everything the carebears are saying.

Despite the fact that CONCORD and faction police restrict a ganker's freedom of movement to the barest minimum, those restrictions aren't enough for the carebears. That's because they want ganking completely removed from the game. CCP hasn't gone quite that far, leaving the carebears with the impression that CCP is under our control.

According to the rebels' conventional wisdom, CCP allows pro-Code players to say whatever they want on the forums. By comparison, the moderators are much more strict with anti-Code players, who get banned for the slightest infraction.

Like I said, the Anti-Gankers have a distorted view of the world.

Consequently, the carebears are always confused. The harder they think, the more confused they become. And they wonder why they never win.

On rare occasions, someone in the Anti-Ganking channel will challenge the consensus view. They must be spies and trolls from the New Order.

RangerGord couldn't get over the fact that having low security status doesn't make a ship insta-pop in highsec. Why, the gankers get to enjoy several seconds on grid before the faction police will appear and make the ship go pop! In theory, Anti-Gankers could fill in the gaps and help police highsec, but RangerGord conceded their uselessness.

Rather than blaming themselves for their failures, the rebels blame CCP and its pro-ganker bias.

The tears about CCP were briefly interrupted for official Anti-Ganking business--which soon devolved into tears related to said business.

Agent Aaaarrgg is a frequent topic of conversation in the Anti-Ganking channel. Nevertheless, carebears often say "aaaarrgg" even when not referring to our illustrious Agent.

Ah, the irony: FuzzySmurf questioned how Aaaarrgg could have any fun when his movements were so restricted by faction police and CONCORD.

In truth, the Anti-Gankers are lucky to feel so confused and upset, and to constantly fail. It's the universe's way of telling them that they're doing everything wrong--and that they need the Code.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Blockbuster Videos

Today's a good day for those of you who like New Order media (which should be pretty much everyone)...

The roaring success of Sasha Nemtsov's video on The Common Bot-Aspirant demanded a sequel. Here it is:

You can't go wrong with Sasha--especially when you've got educational sights and sounds based on the epic Why They Hate the Code MinerBumping series.

The Code Is Forever series got spiced up with the addition of text-to-speech for all the carebear tears!

Elite PvP, elite tear collection, elite Gamis goodness!

The CODE always wins, always. Even when a gank goes wrong? Yup. Agent Zaenis Desef was on Twitch streaming some ganks when he met an astonishing Retriever pilot.

The Retriever pilot gave Zaenis a "gf". Despite lacking a permit, he seemed like a Gallant miner.

True to his word, Zaenis created a highlight video of the attempted gank:

Then someone in the Twitch chat suggested that Zaenis give the miner a free permit. Our Agent had a better idea: He gave the miner 10 million isk to spend however he pleased.

Wouldn't you know it? The miner spent the 10 million on a New Order mining permit. You can always tell a Gallant miner.

Check out the zaenisdesef Twitch channel for more Code goodness.

Over One Trillion One Hundred Fifty-Six Billion in Shares Sold

We all know that buying New Order shares helps our Agents to save highsec. But what a lot of people may not realize is that the Anti-Gankers really, really hate it when they read MinerBumping and see that someone's bought a bunch of shares. Last week, Hrothgar Nilsson made a stunning purchase of 32.7 billion worth of shares. This was bound to prompt a response. Within a few hours of the MinerBumping post going up, Hrothgar received an EVEmail from notorious Anti-Ganker Rusell:

Google Translate would be of little use here, but I'm guessing this was just a bizarre and indirect way of saying, "Stop giving the New Order money." Hrothgar penned a reply, only to find out that Rusell had preemptively blocked him:

Speaking as a neutral observer of this exchange, I'd say Hrothgar won the debate.

Several other shareholders sent me EVEmails this week.

Of course, it's not required to write an essay when you buy shares. In fact, buying shares is so easy! Simply transfer isk to James 315; as I told Counsul Shakiel, you don't need to be in a corp or anything.

Doubloons received. But they were not quite enough to get us over the next billion isk mark...

There it is. Black Pedro purchased 1,000 additional shares, sending us past the 1 trillion 155 billion isk mark and earning him a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

And the next milestone was reached thanks to Erika von Heisenberg, who opened a New Order account to purchase 350 shares, sending us past the 1 trillion 156 billion isk mark and earning her a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

Anti-Gankers, don't be discouraged by the generosity of our shareholders. Learn from them!

Thursday, March 16, 2017

The Family Meeting, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... Joden Ka struggled to accept the new highsec reality. Upon losing his mining barge, Joden appealed to the MinerBumping channel in a fairly disastrous performance. He declared that he never wanted to speak with anyone from the New Order again. Yet Joden soon found himself in a private conference with Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet.
Joden Ka > so let me get things stright
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Sure, I'd be happy to answer any questions you have
Joden Ka > evidenlty alot has changed since i left
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > When exactly did you last play?
Joden Ka > 2011
The miner hailed from 2011, the pre-Code era. No wonder he'd been so confused. He was one of those Rip Van Winkle miners.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > The fact is that the group I represent has the power necessary to enforce our claims, and nobody has managed to dislodge or defeat us.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > That's realpolitik.
Joden Ka > everything changes with time
Joden Ka > but enough posturing
TheInternet made it known that the Order was here to stay. Joden hoped, perhaps, that if he disappeared for another six years, highsec might return to the way it was. But the Code is forever.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > You suggested you would leave Highsec rather than comply with the Code - and very publically.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > In a New Order channel.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I tried to warn you that you weren't making your case well, but you insisted on ignoring my warnings.
Joden Ka > well i was being called a liar and ignorant
Joden tried to make excuses for his earlier conduct. Our Agent wasn't buying it. The miner had dug quite a hole for himself, but TheInternet could help him out of it.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Despite these things I am still willing to help you, but as you say
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > You need to stop posturing
Joden Ka > lol wow
Joden Ka > im not posturing
Joden Ka > ok so how can we resolve this situation we find ourselves in?
For the time being, Joden was willing to put aside his grudge against the New Order and focus on finding a solution. That attitude would soon be tested.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > You will need to purchase a mining permit at the 30m ISK Red Pen Violation rate.
Joden Ka > yea i didnt have the 10mill and i won't have the 30mill
Joden Ka > so i guess this conversation was pointless
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I would suggest you borrow the ISK from a friend.
Joden Ka > umm no friends.....just started remember
So many miners fail at this point in their journey. They simply can't imagine giving up any of their isk--not to another player. They are bot-aspirants.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Frankly, mining is a terrible income - if I were you I would do something else.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I've got an idea for you, as it happens.
Joden Ka > oh really
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Not today, but tomorrow - what you should do is head to Jita. Bring a T1 hauler with a MWD.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Do as I say and the rest should come naturally.
TheInternet came through on her promises. She offered Joden the chance to make a lot of money and actually enjoy the game.
Joden Ka > ok why?
Joden Ka > so you guys can kill me again?
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Hardly.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I haven't given you a time.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > You think we're going to camp Jita all day just for you and a T1 hauler?
Joden Ka > sorry but im not in the most trusting mood
As usual, the miner was his own worst enemy. He ignored TheInternet's wisdom.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Do as I said, when you get the ISK, come and pay your debt to me.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Have a bit of faith here.
Joden Ka > HA faith huh in a corp that one if its msmbers killed me
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > You say that as if it's a bad thing
Joden Ka > it is
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > For some it's a course correction
A lack of faith is one of the biggest reasons miners are unable to succeed in EVE. That's another thing they should put into the official tutorial.
Joden Ka > im irish we are stubborn
Joden Ka > the only reason im here is because i shouldnt have to look over my shoulder everytime i go mining
Joden Ka > i think i have a right to be mad
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > TBH if losses actually make you mad, I'm not sure if this game is really for you
Joden Ka > ok lets make this simple.......if you think you know whats best for me. keep it to yourself. im pretty reasonable if treated like an equal
The miner bristled. Joden must've known that TheInternet had far more success and experience in EVE than he did, but his pride kept him from listening.
Joden Ka > dont call me a liar or ignorant or think of me as stupid
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > On a person to person level, I respect your basic human dignity
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > in EVE, you are not my equal
Joden Ka > you should treat people as equals no matter where you are....... it's called manners
Joden Ka > id give the shirt off my back to help
Joden Ka > no matter my osition
It's amazing how noble and respectful and generous miners can be in hypothetical situations. In actual situations, they're anything but.
Joden Ka > laugh all you want
Joden Ka > lol im not delusional but i treat people the same no matter what im doing
Joden Ka > your arrogant in the way you talk
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > You're a miner
Joden Ka > listen dude
Joden Ka > i don't have to mine
TheInternet made Joden contemplate, for the first time, a new possibility: He didn't have to mine. He didn't have to mine!
Joden Ka > ok let me get this straight
Joden Ka > i need a permit to mine and run missions but it's a mining permit
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Mining indulgences are required for all Highsec activities, including mining, hauling, mission running, etc.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > We regularly police the commerce lanes for illicit freighter traffic.
Joden Ka > see i would have been ok with getting a permit for mining to mine but im not going to pay for a mining permit to run missions, thats absurd
The bot-aspirant's narrow, programmatic view of the world got in his way again. He'd been so close to an important realization about not needing to mine.
Joden Ka > thats not what the permit says
Joden Ka > it says mining
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > You're going to try and explain to me what the permits we sell do?
Joden Ka > cause all it sounds like is extortion to me and your guys want to be paid so people can play this game in peace
Joden drifted back into the mire of miner clich├ęs and bot-aspirancy.

Despite the miner's difficulties, simply being in the presence of a New Order Agent was bound to have a positive impact sooner or later.
Joden Ka > ok and down the rabbit hole we go
Joden Ka > sorry but i don't need you or your friends permission to play this game
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Of course not, you are free to leave Highsec.
Joden Ka > and no im not leaving highsec
Joden Ka > so if thats the only thing your gonna preach then i have nothing more to say . i will continue to play my game in peace
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > clearly not my friend
Joden Ka > i was hoping for a rational conversation
Joden Ka > good day
The conversation was too philosophically challenging for Joden. He could not bear to continue.


After the convo with TheInternet, Joden had a change of heart. He sent a message to Agent Zopiclone--the ganker to whom he'd been so rude before. At last, Joden admitted to himself the power of the Code. He was unwilling to buy a permit, so he chose to abandon the path of the miner, leave highsec, and join a nullsec alliance. 'Twas another victory for the New Order and its slogan: "No miner left behind."