Friday, May 29, 2015

Alliance Executor to the Rescue, Part 1

To understand highsec, one must first understand the Code. After that, you can look into things like geography, trade routes, the people who live there, the activities they engage in, and so on. MinerBumping has plenty of articles about the Code. Let's consider geography for a moment. Ready?

Uphene is a system in the Everyshore region of Gallente highsec. At first blush, it looks like a random, non-strategic system. It's nowhere near a trade hub, it doesn't have ice, it lacks station services, etc. At second blush, well, it still looks like a bad place to set up shop.

But at third blush...

Uphene is next door to Leremblompes, a system with a name so long it gets cut off on the Dotlan map. It just so happens that Agent Mildron Klinker cares deeply about the Leremblompes system. He always has. (See, e.g., One Night in Leremblompes, Part 1 and One Night in Leremblompes, Part 2.)

A few days ago, something told Mildron he needed to make the jump to Uphene. A New Order Agent's instincts are always on the money. He saw an out-of-control miner with a fail-fit Retriever and torched it. For good measure, Mildron saw to it that Eromaki Uzu's Capsule and Eromaki Uzu's Mobile Tractor Unit were taken care of, as well.

Whenever our Agents kill a miner, they investigate the situation to see if the miner is a symptom of a larger problem. Upon looking up the miner's corp information, Mildron developed real concerns. It was a highsec PvE corp that encouraged new players to spend all their time mining in highsec. The corp description glorified AFK mining in highsec as participation in "alliance fleets".

Worse yet, the alliance had an ore buyback program. Instead of trying to sell ore at a mark-up to buyers far from the trade hubs, or simply mining near a trade hub and selling there, the alliance told its members to go to Uphene and sell ore to corp leaders at worse prices than Jita. What a delightful experience for new players.

Highsec is filled with terrible industrial corps that serve no purpose other than being vanity corps for the CEO. Some have evolved into vanity alliances. This was the case for Alwar Alliance, which, in addition to its main industrial corp, had shell corps like Big Beaver Club and Big Beaver Corp.

The next day, Mildron visited Uphene again. He encountered and killed Brian McMullin's Retriever. It was another member of Alwar Alliance. Alarmingly, Brian's Retriever had an even worse fit. Mildron made an appointment for the following day to give the Uphene system another check-up.

Alwar Alliance was still up to no good in Uphene. Mildron ganked galendor Darine's yield-fit Covetor and arranged for the destruction of his Mobile Tractor Unit, as well.
Mildron Klinker > o/
Javen Kai > You need to stop attacking my miners.
Mildron Klinker > well, get a permit
Javen Kai > a permit?
Javen Kai > really bro
Within minutes of this gank, Mildron received a convo request from someone in Alwar Alliance.

It was Javen Kai, the self-described "Brutor Bulldog". Javen was the executor of the Alwar Alliance. A four-year veteran of EVE, Javen's ambition was to build a highsec mining alliance. (Naturally.) By performing three attacks on Alwar Alliance miners in three days, Mildron Klinker had gotten Javen's full attention. Now the Mildron problem was the only item on Alwar Alliance's agenda. The alliance executor would need to handle this matter personally--to speak with the ganker one-on-one.
Mildron Klinker > yes sir, really, only 10 mill for 365 days of code compliant mining
Javen Kai > nah noone is going to pay you to mine in Uphene
Javen Kai > this is where i operate my alliance you dont say who mines and who doesnt
Mildron Klinker > then miners will die
Javen Kai > dont you have anything better to do with your time?
Javen Kai > other than being a greifing faggot?
The Brutor Bulldog was not one to be trifled with.

To be continued...

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Over Six Hundred Four Billion in Shares Sold

Buying shares in the New Order is an incredible investment strategy. We go beyond the established norms of the world of finance--we make our own rules. And we're lovin' every minute of it.

As Agent TenThunders proves, it's never too early or too late to put aside carebearism in favor of actual gameplay.

Gurty Jones, who submitted a CODEdot alliance logo proposal to wide acclaim, echoes what TenThunders said.

Skeptics claim that the New Order isn't changing anything, and that we're merely spreading misery among tens of thousands of highsec players. Tell that to all of the former isk-grinders we've rescued.

Meanwhile, our march of progress continues unabated. Annah Tsero purchased 315 shares and earned a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ for sending us over the 604 billion mark. Annah really knows what she's doing! Do you?

Diamond in the Rough, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Tisiphone Dira made the journey to Hek in search of EVE players of a high enough caliber to join the New Order. Witnessing Code violators, Tisiphone struck them down and interviewed them to take their measure.

JN Alister claimed that he'd been AFK to take a "birthday phone call". It was time for Tisiphone to give JN Alister a birthday present, courtesy of the New Order.

It seemed JN's birthday had triggered some kind of mid-life crisis.

The gank recipient cursed the Code and again expressed his disdain for "rollplay".

Tisiphone judged the birthday boy to be unfit for service in the Order. Maybe next year.

Continuing her quest to find a diamond in the rough, Tisiphone met up with Elrond Peredhil, who was amazed to discover the existence of emergent gameplay. It was a close call: If Tisiphone hadn't ganked him, maybe Elrond never would've heard of the sandbox.

After a very, very cursory reading of the Code, Elrond decided he didn't like the sandbox. In his haste to teach Tisiphone about the Code, Elrond missed the part about not using profanity.

Elrond insisted he was too swaggy a motherfucker to be terminated. Yet he had indeed been terminated already. Tisiphone began to suspect that Elrond might not be cut out for the New Order.

Something was off--Hek wasn't producing high-quality players. Tisiphone soldiered on.

The next potential recruit was lined up and podded. Could this be the diamond of Hek?

Not likely. Hommer StoneHead wasn't even good at confessing his crimes.

In the end, Tisiphone didn't find any suitable EVE players during this trip to Hek. She was greeted by some fellow Agents, but the carebears she podded were all of low quality.

You might be thinking, "But the post is called 'Diamond in the Rough'. Where's the diamond, then?" Ah, dear, reader, that is bot-aspirancy. The bot-aspirant thinks that he can put in a set amount of effort and be guaranteed a predetermined reward. That's not how player-generated content works. To find a diamond in the rough, one must be prepared not to find one, because there's no guarantee of a diamond. Otherwise, it wouldn't be called a rough; it would be called a "place with a diamond in it". Everyone would go there. People would crowd into the roughs.

Tisiphone set out to find a diamond, enforcing the Code as she went, knowing she might find only bot-aspirants. That, in itself, is an extraordinary triumph of the human spirit.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Diamond in the Rough, Part 1

Agents of the New Order are many things: Elite warriors, poets, law enforcers, therapists, philosophers, conquerors. They are also explorers. Each Agent searches the vast wasteland of highsec for something exceptional. When they recognize that special, indescribable spark in a miner's eyes, they know they've found a candidate for our next Agent.

As I said, however, highsec is vast and filled with waste. The search for a good player can be a difficult one.

Agent Tisiphone Dira made the trek to Hek, hoping to find someone with promise. She found mattgb instead.

It's a law of mathematics that not everyone we encounter in highsec can be awesome. If a carebear falls short, he can still be sold a mining permit. Tisiphone figured that was about the extent of mattgb's potential. But the carebear insisted that there was more to mattgb than met the eye...

...which is unlikely. Our Agents have perfect vision. They get it from the Code.

Even judging by bot-aspirant standards, mattgb fell short of greatness. "I'm organizing probably 4-5 major corps" may be the most unimpressive threat you can make.

mattgb claimed that he had the backing of every single corp in his employment history, plus all of the alliances currently affiliated with those corps. Caution! Always give your former employer a heads-up before you use them as a reference.

After careful consideration, Tisiphone decided mattgb wasn't ready to become an Agent of the New Order yet. The carebear had a lot of growing up to do.

Tisiphone was encouraged when she encountered JN Alister, who was celebrating his birthday. One year older, this carebear might be a bit more mature.

Our Agent put the AFK birthday boy to the test. Instead of taking the opportunity to confess his crime, JN Alister started making wisecracks. It looked like Tisiphone had a comedian on her hands.

Everyone responds differently to their birthday. Some reflect on how far they've come and where they want to go. Others get jaded and cynical. JN Alister dismissed all highsec law as "rollplaying". The system only existed to keep him down, JN felt.

After dealing with jokers like mattgb and JN Alister all day, some might be inclined to give up on highsec. Then there are the Agents of the New Order, who believe highsec is worth fighting for.

To be continued...

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

CODEdot Alliance Logo Submissions

It's art season in the New Order! A few days ago, I sent out an open invitation for anyone with artistic ambitions to try their hand at designing the CODEdot Alliance Logo. Click over to that post for more details. Long story short, create a 512x512 image based on my face--the face that saved highsec--and upload it to Imgur. Then EVEmail me the link.

The contest is still open. Let's take a look at the submissions we've received thus far:

From AeleDeux, a take on the familiar "HOPE" poster. Does anyone inspire more hope than I do? If so, I'd love to meet 'em.

From Bait'er De'Outlier, an almost angelic vision of my face. I imagine this is the last thing a carebear sees before he biomasses his mining character.

From Gurty Jones, a stylized impression of highsec's Saviour, champion of the working classes (and all the other classes, too--a rare combination!).

Gurty translated the poster into multiple color schemes. You can see the full-size version of them all at the Imgur Link above.

(Oh, and if you're wondering why the word "ALWAYS" appears in Gurty's posters... Just think about it for a minute.)

Congratulations to all of these artists on their wonderful work. Want to throw your own design into the mix? Don't be shy. This is your chance to make New Order history.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Encounter with a True Newbie

Sometimes big things come in small packages.

More often than not, though, people take care to package things efficiently. As a general rule, only small things come in small packages. Regardless, a small Code violation is still a violation. Agent Zane Arnolles caught an anti-tanked Venture autopiloting through New Order space and terminated it.

Ten minutes later, PACKYOU VERYMUCH saw fit to return to her keyboard and play some EVE. Her ship was missing!

The Venture was cheap, but Zane also popped PACKYOU's 43 million isk pod. Being a newbie, it was everything PACKYOU owned.

Normally, this would be the point where we would look at PACKYOU's employment history and discover that she's actually been playing EVE for six or seven years. Then she would say that she "just came back to EVE two months ago" or something like that.

...Not today. PACKYOU had only been playing for about four days. For once, a genuine newbie was killed. She must have spent her entire time mining in highsec to purchase the implants. She felt entitled to get them reimbursed. That's not how ganking works, though.

Our Agent explained to the newbie that isk is supposed to flow from the miner to the Agent, not the other way around. He wouldn't give her anything but what she really needed--the Code. Without warning, PACKYOU, the poor, defenseless newbie, vowed to bring destruction to the New Order.

PACKYOU underwent a dramatic transformation. No longer was she a pitiable, destitute newbie miner. Now she was the alt of a powerful, dangerous player. She even had a corp full of people who would do her bidding. What a twist!

The Venture pilot wasn't a miner after all. Nor did she need reimbursement for her pod. Ten million isk was small potatoes. She was rich.

Only minutes earlier, PACKYOU would have been a cause célèbre for the anti-ganking crowd. She would have been proof (finally!) that the New Order ganks brand-new players and robs them of their isk. Now, as PACKYOU bragged about her alts and her wealth, she became a living example of why all Code violators should be ganked at will.

PACKYOU ended the conversation a different person than when it began. It was startling--disturbing, even. Agent Zane knew what to do, though. He held to the Code. It had always worked in the past.

The New Order is a welcoming bunch. Even the most grotesque highsec personalities can send us 10 million isk and enjoy the benefits of compliance.

Some need more convincing than others. But rich or poor, young or old, the Code eventually comes to them all.