Thursday, May 23, 2019

The Elonaya Conspiracy, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Highsec carebears in The Trade Syndecate corp struggled against the power of Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet's formidable bumping Machariel. Although The Trade Syndecate got advice from a promising new recruit, the corp was unable to make any progress in its fight against the New Order.

Agent AGBee 001 and his friends became notorious for ganking members of The Trade Syndecate. The corp's leadership instructed all of its members not to speak to anyone in the New Order. But Baratheus Bahgsan didn't get the memo. He just wanted the violence to end.

AGBee 001 proved to be a no-nonsense kind of ganker. He didn't want to hear miners' excuses for not knowing about the Saviour of Highsec; he expected prompt compliance.

In his mercy, the ganker provided Baratheus with a link to MinerBumping. Honestly, that's something every highsec industrialist corp should do for their new members. If they care about their members, that is.

Baratheus had been offered little in the way of training from his corp. He was astonished when he learned about the power of his corp's enemy.

The Agent suggested that any resistance against the Code was bound to be futile. And from what Baratheus had seen so far, it was true.

The miner was faced with a simple choice: Comply or die.

Mic drop.

Baratheus decided that for now, he would follow his corporation's wicked leaders. But what made The Trade Syndecate think that they could oppose the New Order?

The Trade Syndecate was not operating alone. They had blues. Is it possible that a conspiracy of highsec miners was forming around the Elonaya system?

One of The Trade Syndecate's allies, Grootser corporation, suffered a Hulk loss in Elonaya. The AGBee gang was responsible.

Another blue-listed corp had a member ganked by the AGBees. Was it a coincidence?

...Then another. Several of these losses occurred despite being in a different region.

The AGBees went out of their way to get these ganks, even using swarms of rookie ships for the purpose. The Trade Syndecate's allies were being targeted. How did the Agents know where to go and whom to gank? Once again, The Trade Syndecate was faced with the unsettling prospect of a spy in their midst.

To be continued...

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

The Elonaya Conspiracy, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Highsec mining corp The Trade Syndecate came into conflict with Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet when they refused to purchase mining permits from the New Order. Meanwhile, highsec veteran Wear ista Beefman applied to join The Trade Syndecate and received a warm welcome.

Agent TheInternet's bumping Machariel became an increasingly frequent presence. Some members of The Trade Syndecate couldn't help but feel that he was targeting them. And he was becoming a problem.

The Trade Syndecate's CEO, Bladez Runner, had a frank discussion about the matter with Wear ista Beefman. Bladez was open and honest with the recruit.

In a private conversation, Bladez confided that so far, the corp's members had been utterly incapable of fighting back. Wear was eager to help them put a stop to TheInternet's depredations.

The ambitious new member of The Trade Syndecate was full of ideas. Bladez assured him that something was in the works. They'd find a way to defeat TheInternet...


As time went by, however, none of The Trade Syndecate's attack plans materialized. TheInternet was free to enforce the Code as he saw fit. The miners had no choice but to comply. In local chat, they were even forced to maintain a public face of submission. But things were different in The Trade Syndecate's private channels.

Secretly, The Trade Syndecate was preparing to move to another system. Maybe TheInternet would lose track of them.

The other element of Bladez's new scheme was a "content denial" strategy. No one in The Trade Syndecate was permitted to speak with the Agents of the New Order. If deprived of tears and salt, perhaps TheInternet would get bored and go bump some other sorry group of miners.

As the corp put its plan into motion, members of The Trade Syndecate tried to evade the Agents and get in some quick mining sessions here and there. But TheInternet's infernal bumping Machariel seemed to follow them everywhere they went. He had an uncanny knack for tracking them down.

Is it possible that The Trade Syndecate had a traitor in their midst? Was a spy feeding intel to the New Order?

There were no signs of suspicious activity in the ranks thus far--and certainly no evidence of treachery. The miners could only hope that they would be able to prevail against TheInternet and his friends. Time would tell.

To be continued...

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

GF GF, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... drgneyes Rin, the girlfriend of notorious Goblok Lilypetals Makanen, was introduced to the law of highsec. As her girlfriend would weeks later, drgneyes rejected the Code.

With the loss of her mining ship, drgneyes was destitute and in need of assistance. She was too strong and independent to ask for anyone else's help, so she demanded that our Agents give her a bunch of money.

Many of drgneyes' statements are open to interpretation. Agent Aiko Danuja theorized that drgneyes' "jump throw all red" comment referred to traveling back through nullsec after being podded. Her clone may still have been in Pandemic Horde space.

Aiko was tempted to think of drgneyes as Pandemic's problem, but our Agent knew that drgneyes wouldn't stop until she made it back to highsec.

With everything else highsec has to deal with, it didn't need to face the threat of an invasion by drgneyes. Aiko preferred to get the miner into Code-compliance.

The miner was determined to get back to her Level 1 missions, even if it meant traveling 40 jumps through hostile territory. She offered Aiko a compromise: She'd buy a permit, but only if it could be done through a secure channel.

Unfortunately, New Order mining permits are not yet an in-game item; it's one of the "little things" that CCP has been slacking on.

While they were still negotiating, drgneyes lost her ship. She would need to begin her journey again.

Nice travel fit.

There were no easy answers to the problem of drgneyes. Some people just aren't cut out for EVE.

The miner suddenly realized that she had kill rights on Aiko. It was only a matter of time before drgneyes would get an opportunity for revenge. If she could get to highsec, that is.

Though English was apparently drgneyes' first and only language, our Agent struggled with the language barrier. drgneyes trailed off and went silent.

Aiko went to the Pandemic Horde recruitment channel for support. Maybe they could sort this thing out.

A diplomatic solution didn't present itself, but drgneyes was removed from Pandemic Horde a few hours later. The miner joined her girlfriend Lilypetals' corp. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Monday, May 20, 2019

Over One Trillion Eight Hundred Six Billion in Shares Sold

Let's talk about goodness and growth today, dear reader.

Brewlar Kuvakei is, believe it or not, one of our earliest shareholders. Since 2012, he has owned precisely 10 shares in the New Order. Now, seemingly out of nowhere, he decided to step things up. He purchased 1,000 additional shares, which brought us to the 1,777 billion isk mark. And it's a beautiful thing. Brewlar earns a better-late-than-never Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

Now let's take a look at what happened in Uedama this week.

A mysterious individual named Mycella Huren reported to the system and quickly found one of our Agents, PI Tool1.

Mycella's motives were unclear, but it soon became apparent that she was in a generous mood.

PI Tool1 checked her wallet and was stunned: Mycella had "tipped" her a billion isk, simply for responding when she'd asked for an Agent!

For good measure, Mycella also purchased a mining permit.

Shortly afterward, this Gallant stranger biomassed herself. She claimed to have sent everything else she owned to the Saviour of Highsec. Was it true? PI Tool1 had to wonder.

Yes, I can tell you that the wonderful tale of Mycella Huren is indeed true.

Mycella Huren spent her remaining 28 billion isk by purchasing 28,000 shares in the New Order. This took us past the 1,778, 1,779, 1,780, 1,781, 1,782, 1,783, 1,784, 1,785, 1,786, 1,787, 1,788, 1,789, 1,790, 1,791, 1,792, 1,793, 1,794, 1,795, 1,796, 1,797, 1,798, 1,799, 1,800, 1,801, 1,802, 1,803, 1,804, and 1,805 billion isk marks. Mycella, wherever she is, is the proud owner of an Octovigintuple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

The story's not yet finished, though.

PI Tool1 took Mycella's billion isk tip and purchased 1,000 shares of her own. This brought us to the 1,806 billion isk mark and earned her a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

I think that's what Mycella would've wanted.

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Kills of the Week

I have a question for all the highsec carebears out there: Does highsec have laws, or doesn't it? If you say "yes", then you cannot complain when you get ganked for violating those laws. If you say "no", then you cannot complain, for you have been ganked in a lawless space.

While you're chewing on that, take a good look at these kills from the week of May 12th @ 00:00 EVEtime through May 18th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

WWL wx YXR was AFK autopiloting and lost his 3.46 billion isk Golem. The eagle-eyed readers might notice that the picture above shows a Golem worth 3.64 billion isk, though. How can this be?

Yes, the next day he lost a second blingy Golem--also while AFK autopiloting. Some carebears are slow to learn. Special thanks to Agents Eva Mavas, Lucia, Viirilithizu Ward, Lewak, Eva Solberg, and Araena Calorne for killing that first Golem and setting a good precedent.

Alant Chelien lost a billion isk Mackinaw to Agents Maximus Gooseman, Misha Mawashi, Flagellant Messiah, Elena Sabezan, Edmund Sublett, Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri, Eduard Limonov, and Illegal Facilitator. Not only do billion isk mining ships still exist, they come in all different types. Many use ORE modules...

This one used Harvester drones. Either way, all of that isk goes to the New Order or the Loot Fairy.

...And here we see an example of the ORE variety. Gregor Eisenhor isk-tanked his Skiff. He probably thought our Agents would rather gank an untanked Retriever than a Skiff. When the Skiff is worth 2 billion isk, though, you can pay for a lot of Catalysts. Agents Edmund Sublett, Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri, Maximus Gooseman, Eduard Limonov, Misha Mawashi, Elena Sabezan, and Flagellant Messiah only needed to use 7 Catalysts to get a billion isk worth of loot. People who are good at math only go into the asteroid belts to gank.

FYI, miners, our Agents are extremely efficient: Gregor only got to "enjoy" his blingy mining upgrades for a matter of hours before he was terminated.

To be sure, Lersei Cannister's Occator had a questionable fit. But her most egregious mistake came not in her choice of highs, mids, lows, or rigs. No, Lersei's true failure was in her choice of cargo. Namely, there was too much of it. Agents Ella Skorn, Fiona Salacore, Katie Ka-Booom, and Tenton Jackhammer got some Tornadoes together and blapped the 4.7 billion isk hauler.

The truth of today's highsec was revealed, to Ziboren's great shame: Unlicensed jump freighters burn, even in 1.0 security systems. Ziboren's Ark was put to the torch by a tremendously powerful gank armada consisting of Agents Louis de Broglie, Edwin Powell Hubble, Tim Berners Lee, Wolfgang Ernest Pauli, Erwin Schreodinger, James Prescott Joule, Amandus Olson, Linus Pauling, DaergaarTWO, Joseph Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Werner Karl Heisenberg, Jayden Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Joseph John Thomsom, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jason Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Succulent Spodumain, FidgetSpinning MyApendages, and Homoerotic Finger Painting.

Harry Rotineque brought a naked 3 billion isk pod to a stargate in the heart of highsec. He sat next to the stargate and went AFK. No one knows why he did this. I have my suspicions: I think he was a bot-aspirant who considered himself completely safe in highsec. But Agent Pod-Goo A-GoGo proved him wrong.

Basically, Harry was using a 3 billion isk ship with fewer than 500 hitpoints. It was destroyed by a simple Thrasher. Did Harry deserve to lose his implants? The question answers itself.