Friday, July 3, 2015

The Rise of the Space Neocons, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet became a director of PwnySquad, a highsec PvE corp. Its leader, koiso Phoenix, was subjected to a series of secret tests by TheInternet. koiso gave TheInternet a Bowhead and an Orca, and allowed him to withdraw cash to pay for mercs. The mercenaries were essential, as TheInternet had also arranged for a New Order corp to wardec PwnySquad.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > might be smart to go heavy on defensive mods and then adjust down as safety permits
koiso Phoenix > theinterenet you pvp any in your time playing eve
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > yeah a bit
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > couple of cool stories I could tell you lol
The corp needed to get ready for the coming storm. TheInternet was put in charge of preparing wartime defenses. koiso wanted everyone to stay docked up for the week, but TheInternet convinced her that they needed a well-armed POS.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > X-Large Ship Maintenance Array is ours
koiso Phoenix > cant achore that in high sec
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > ah crap
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Ill sell it
TheInternet withdrew corp funds for the POS and its modules. Due to an oversight, he accidentally spent 750 million of PwnySquad's isk on a module that couldn't be anchored in highsec.

Luckily, TheInternet was able to recoup 670 million isk by re-selling it in Jita. These funds were not returned to the corp.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Alright good news, my merc contact said he will make the war go away
koiso Phoenix > what this favor going to cost us
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > 500m to cover any potential war expenses since it could be protracted
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > he says he can probably get a surrender though because these guys aren't very powerful and can't afford to screw with him
It's always nice to have friends in high places. TheInternet came through yet again: His contacts were powerful PvP'ers. They would make highsec safe for PwnySquad once more.

koiso Phoenix > wow your freind pay off they surrendered
koiso Phoenix > i could kiss you :P
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i guess these guys have alts in PL lol
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I'm talking to them in their teamspeak
Immediately, the wardec went away. Peace in our time, just as TheInternet had promised.
koiso Phoenix > i guess so now what do we owe them
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > idk but they're asking about our corp and what we're going to be doing and stuff
koiso Phoenix > manufacture ships and mine ore and bCO and BCC
koiso Phoenix > if you want i could talk to them
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > yeah they said come on
koiso was invited to join the TeamSpeak conference with TheInternet's allies. Though koiso didn't know it, they were in fact TheInternet's fellow Space Neocons, Agents Kalorned and Gerry Rin. They told koiso about a very special opportunity available for high-quality industrial corps like PwnySquad. The next day, koiso went to the public PwnySquad channel and told one of her random friends about it:
Hellvetica Agora > what are you guys doing?
koiso Phoenix > o/
koiso Phoenix > we moving to nullsec for mining, industrial
Hellvetica Agora > your going to rent?
koiso Phoenix > no free ride
koiso Phoenix > were going to be a feeder corp
PwnySquad had moved up in the world. One day they were planning to stay docked up because of a wardec. Now, anything seemed possible.
Hellvetica Agora > wow how did you manage that?
koiso Phoenix > TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet <--- this guy lol
koiso Phoenix > hes friends with PL
Hellvetica Agora > pandemic legion?
koiso Phoenix > yea
It was almost good to be true: koiso was the leader of Pandemic Legion's next feeder corp.
koiso Phoenix > you more then welcome to come out i could use another experance guy
Hellvetica Agora > na i dont f with 0.0
Hellvetica Agora > ive been out ther so many times its just not fun
Hellvetica Agora > ill give you advice but im not going out there
Hellvetica Agora > you want bpcs ill get you them
Hellvetica Agora > but my ass stays in highsec
koiso offered to share her good fortune with her old friend. He politely declined. Like most highsec dwellers, Hellvetica, a 2009 character, was deathly afraid of nullsec. He wouldn't dare set foot outside empire space.

There was a lot of work involved with PwnySquad's big move to nullsec. TheInternet agreed to act as the project coordinator. His task was to transfer all of the corp and corp members' assets to his friends in Pandemic Legion, who would safely escort it to the staging area in nullsec. TheInternet met with koiso and her CEO alt in Jita and other stations where assets were stored. All ships and equipment were handed over to TheInternet in a series of direct trades.

Next, TheInternet and koiso joined their PL contacts on TeamSpeak. koiso was instructed to go to a planet in the Gamis system, where a container would be waiting for her with further instructions. It was all very cloak and dagger.

...Emphasis on the dagger. The container had a bookmark inside which declared that the whole "PL feeder corp" thing was a big scam, and that all of koiso's assets were lost forever. While koiso was sitting at the container, one of Kalorned's gank alts arrived to gank and pod koiso for unspecified Code violations. This was the Gamis system, after all.

And so it was that koiso learned that she had been scammed of all her possessions.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > sorry man this is my fault
koiso Phoenix > its not a big deal
koiso Phoenix > if you want to save face just log off there TS dont give them anymore
koiso Phoenix > im off to bed i'll talk to you tomarrow
...However, no one ever told koiso that TheInternet was in on the scam. He claimed he had sent all of the assets to the "Pandemic Legion" contacts and knew nothing about their sinister intentions. TheInternet remained koiso's most trusted advisor. If PwnySquad corp was to be recover from this disaster, koiso would need his help.

To be continued...

Thursday, July 2, 2015

The Rise of the Space Neocons, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... An elite unit of New Order Agents calling themselves the Space Neocons resolved to keep the art of awoxing and scamming alive. Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet was invited to join PwnySquad, a highsec PvE corp run by koiso Phoenix and her CEO alt. TheInternet had grand plans of starting an ore buyback program. But was koiso worthy, or was she a bot-aspirant who needed to be punished?
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > cool, thanks
koiso Phoenix > yea sure its just a bowhead
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i really do need to get one of my own
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > it's packaged lol, did you just buy it?
TheInternet asked to borrow koiso's Bowhead, a 1.3 billion isk ship. He immediately received one.
koiso Phoenix > lol i generally buy in bulk so
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > you must be pretty rich
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > bowheads in bulk? lol
koiso Phoenix > lol year of playin i learn a few thing
A red flag was raised. Why would koiso buy Bowheads in bulk? She claimed that she'd "learned a few things" after playing EVE for a while. TheInternet worried that koiso might have "learned" to buy large amounts of PLEX and cash them in for isk.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > do you have any advice for recruiting
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > what sort of players should I try to attract
koiso Phoenix > LF miners and orca pilots try to find some legit players interveiw them and if they pass your gut check invite them....
Unlike the rest of PwnySquad, TheInternet's sole purpose in joining the corp was to test the corp's leadership. koiso's advice on security was to "find some legit players" and then see if they pass a "gut check". The use of APIs was unnecessary.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > help
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > [05:40:47] Siegfried Cohenberg > 500m or the bowhead dies
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i dont have money to pay him
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i cant warp
The next test: Would koiso rescue a corp member in need?
koiso Phoenix > i cant keep him off you
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > he is accusing me of stalling
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i dont have 500m
koiso Phoenix > so tell him to suck it
Agent Siegfried Cohenberg, one of EVE's most legendary bumpers, was on hand to stage a ransom attempt on TheInternet's borrowed Bowhead.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > he will gank me
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i need to try to get out of this system
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > or pay the ransom
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > but i dont have the ISK and now he is asking for 1b cuz he says that I am stalling
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > can I borrow 1b ISK, cuz if I lose this thing I'm going to owe you more
koiso Phoenix > nope
koiso Phoenix > that ship isnt important to me
However, koiso had no interest whatsoever in paying ransoms, even if it was for an amount substantially less than TheInternet's ship. So noted. After TheInternet was satisfied that koiso wouldn't pay a ransom, his Bowhead miraculously escaped Siegfried's clutches. The crisis passed, and it was back to business as usual.
koiso Phoenix > so whats your plans for the ore buy back program
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > i've got to reposition all of the containers and such
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > set up wallet divisions, hangars, permissions, etc
koiso Phoenix > im glad you know how to do that it lood foriegn to me
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > yeah CCP could make things a bit more user friendly lol
It soon became clear that TheInternet was indispensable to the corp. Time for a promotion.
koiso Phoenix > ok i think i have given you right to everything
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > mm I don't think you made me a director although it looks like I have most roles
koiso Phoenix > which tab it that on
Azuan Windstrider > got it
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > nice
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Can I use the orca to move the buyback mats?
koiso made good on her promise to make TheInternet a director of PwnySquad. But there was no time to bask in the glow of his victory. He immediately asked for an Orca.

A fresh Orca appeared. How much money did koiso have, anyway? And did she deserve to keep any of it? To find out, TheInternet initiated the next phase of his program.

At TheInternet's request, a friend declared war against PwnySquad. Wardecs are a fact of life in highsec; they're a compromise for the absurdly powerful CONCORD umbrella. Corporations that choose to do business in highsec can react to wardecs in a good way or in a bad way--like an EVE player or like a carebear.
koiso Phoenix > great alrdy a wt
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > uh oh
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > war?
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > maybe the competition caught wind that we were setting up near Rens or something
koiso Phoenix > anytime you start a new corp without a big allience protection they will pick on us for awhile then get board its going to be small gang tactics
Luckily, koiso had a plan. She would shift the corp toward small gang tactics. What did that mean, precisely?
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I think we just need to be super careful about these guys, they look like they're affiliated with the New Order guys
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > They can be a bit aggressive
koiso Phoenix > yes well there nothing we can do just eat it up this time till we get build up
TheInternet's heart sank: koiso's war strategy was to do nothing, and to continue recruiting new players, who would have the privilege of doing nothing. What fun! If CCP wants to improve the new player experience, they shouldn't get rid of wardecs--they should get rid of carebear CEOs.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > I'm going to reach out to a merc contact I have and see if I can't get some pressure put on them
koiso Phoenix > really do thank you for your help
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > np man
koiso Phoenix > use the corp fund to pay for it
Our Agent wasn't content in letting PwnySquad go down the "do nothing" route so commonly employed by highsec PvE corps. He offered to enlist the support of powerful friends. koiso jumped at the chance of solving the problem with money.
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > alright, what's my budget here?
koiso Phoenix > deppend on what they offer
koiso Phoenix > couple of pilots no more then 200m if the offer to fight them force on force 350mil
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > alright I'll check into it
koiso Phoenix > try to stretch the corp funds get multiple corps if possible

TheInternet made a judgment call and took 620 million isk from the corp's 350 million isk mercenary budget. In his discretion, he chose to pocket the money for himself, rather than going to the effort of trying to locate quality mercs.

What koiso didn't realize is that she was being subjected to a "gut check" herself. So far, she wasn't exactly passing with flying colors. Still, TheInternet wasn't willing to render final judgment just yet. Unanswered questions remained. For example: How much more money could TheInternet get out of her?

To be continued...

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

CODE Is the Number One Alliance in EVE

CAUTION! The information I am about to share with you is very dangerous. If you were to share it with a carebear, the next thing you'd need to say would probably be, "miner calm down".

CODE. is EVE's #1 alliance for June, according to We destroyed a larger amount of isk than everyone else in the game: Over two trillion isk. That's more in one month than CODEdot killed in its first year. It's more than double our second-best month. Even factoring out kill-assists from the Burn Amarr event, which was primarily a Goon/Imperium affair, June 2015 was our best month by a very wide margin. Some say EVE is dying, but we're doing better than ever!

Here's a helpful chart to drive home the point of how great we are. Again, before sharing it with anyone, be prepared to ask them to calm down.

As mentioned before, this includes kill-assists, although that's also true of the nullsec alliances, and to a much greater degree.

Isn't it amazing what a relatively small group of elite PvP'ers can accomplish, when guided and motivated by the Code? The simple truth is that the Code always wins. For the longest time, our enemies have been trying to bury their heads in the sand, to remain in denial. That becomes quite a difficult task when we're destroying two trillion isk of their stuff. Everyone is being forced to deal with the reality of the New Order. If they aren't killed by us, they're adapting or accommodating or accounting for us in some way. The Code is supremely relevant to their lives.

The numbers don't lie; clearly, there is a great hunger for accountability in highsec today. Our friendly Agents are hard at work, making sure highsec gets exactly what it deserves.

Top Supporters for June 2015

Each month, MinerBumping immortalizes its top isk contributors in a hall of fame post. The "Month's Top Supporters" sidebar will begin showing the current month's supporters in a few days. You can view the August 2012, September, October, November, December, January 2013, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2014, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January 2015, February 2015, March 2015, April 2015, and May 2015 top 10 lists at the appropriate links.

Here are our top isk contributors for June 2015:

June 2015

#1. Elite Harvester
100,000,000,000 isk

#2. Carlvagio
5,000,000,000 isk

#3. Hrothgar Nilsson
3,150,000,000 isk

#4. Yildez
500,000,000 isk

#5. Eikie Kurvora
440,000,000 isk

#6. Kavoro Pel
315,000,000 isk

#6. Super Perforator

315,000,000 isk

#8. Areen Sassel
253,000,000 isk

#9. pokinsmot
150,000,000 isk

#10. Dutchess Douche Baggington
100,000,000 isk

Not surprisingly, Elite Harvester's amount ended up topping the chart. Think about that one, carebears: Someone cares enough about our cause to donate 100 billion isk. Meanwhile, your own CEOs rob you, tax you to death, and leave you to fend for yourselves during wardecs. A little food for thought.

Over Seven Hundred Fifteen Billion in Shares Sold

Everyone's getting in on the action these days.

As the young shareholder said, every isk counts. Asymmetric warfare is a wonderful thing.

Time for the next milestone! Yildez became a new shareholder, gobbling up 500 shares and sending us over the 715 billion isk mark. Yildez earns a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

You know, we're getting close to three quarters of a trillion now. Look forward to it!

A new month has just begun. Our friend Impreza Yatolila's purchase will be credited toward the July supporters list. Until then...

Oh, and before the "Where does the money go?!" crowd gets too excited upon looking at the Treasury, a tidy little sum of isk was sent to Agent loyalanon at his request. That amount will fund a special project. Never fear, carebears--you'll see it in good time.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

The Impostor Tweets

EVE has a long history of faux James 315s. We last reviewed the rogues gallery of impostors two years ago.

Some were mere references...

Most were low-quality...

And there were those, like this impersonator of Currin Trading, that had a lot of effort put into them--even creating fake New Order corps. Some of those listed above have since been deleted for inactivity.

...But new ones have popped up in their place.

What is their purpose? Only their creators know for certain.

On the other hand, the occasional impostor exists as a platform for broadcasting the rebel message.

If the rebel message were worthwhile, however, they wouldn't need to rely on my great fame. Clearly, rebels cannot compete in the marketplace of ideas. The Code retains its monopoly there.

What's this? The false James 315s have made their way to social media. Appearances to the contrary, this Twitter account, @theonlyJames315, is not the James 315 you're looking for.

It even includes an "ALWAYS" logo which bears a resemblance to the one used in CODE.'s alliance logo submission.

To make the illusion even more convincing, this false James 315 tweets things you might expect to hear from me.

For what reason was this Twitter account created? Is it an Anti-Ganker playing the long con? The pet project of a rogue Agent? Has the Code become sentient, no longer content to spread its message through human vessels? We may never know.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Uedama Justice in Video

So much happened in Uedama in the past few weeks that even the Kills of the Week posts were not sufficient to cover it all. Some of the action occurred on the forums, where recipients of ganks like this one resulted in tear threads...

One EVE-O thread, "An open letter to CCP", ran for 23 pages before it was locked at the rest of the OP, Finn McCoul.

To give you some idea of how many fireworks were packed into the Uedama area, I refer you to the statistics gathered by GoonSwarm's Ministry of Love. They were kind enough to include a separate section for the "Unrest in Uedama" event. The runtime of the event was defined as 5 days starting from June 18th and ending at 00:00 EVEtime on June 23rd.

Incredibly, the New Order killed 84 freighters, 5 jump freighters, and 16 Orcas, for a total of 335 billion isk. All in five days. Since Uedama has been burning throughout the month, you can rest assured that much justice was done in that system.

During Burn Amarr, did some coverage through its Twitch stream. At the timestamp, the Ministry of Love's Warr Akini gives a well-deserved shout-out to CODE. Afterward, The Mittani speaks eloquently about the nature of the highsec carebears who are so disconnected from EVE's community on a day-to-day basis.

But that's not why you're reading this post. You want to see some freighters pop. Very well.

Submitted for your approval, ten minutes of wild freighter ganking action you won't see anywhere else, courtesy of loyalanon. The video speaks for itself, just as the carebears cry for themselves.

Permanent links to all New Order artwork may be found on the Links page.