Saturday, August 27, 2016

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #113

One of Bug 5150's alts lost a 399 million isk pod to Agent Marina Gankalot. How would he respond?

...By inaugurating the latest edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag. Welcome!

Metaphorically speaking, the Code is one big prompt. Still, I can see JF Tanaka's point. CCP should add the Code to the tutorial, or maybe have it broadcasted whenever a player enters highsec--similar to those criminal notifications you see.

Even the rebels expect me to walk on water.

Bug was back at it again. Rick Therapist isn't called a therapist for nothing. With over 4,000 kills to his name, you can just imagine how many miners he's had to counsel.

Bug said he couldn't get any calmer. This raises a disturbing question: What if all the miners we deal with are already on their best behavior?

Regardless, we expect better from the miners. If they're having trouble calming down, they can at least start with a 10 million isk payment.

CEO sammy far received a wardec warning. This time, however, the notification didn't involve a request to expel a corp member...

...The entire corp was ordered to disband due to its inappropriate name. There are children in highsec, you know.

A funny thing about carebears: They all demand the benefits of taxation, but none of them want to pay.

You'd think everybody knew mining isn't fun, but as we'll see, apparently it's a hotly debated issue.

Agent Super Perforator was helping some people learn how to mine properly in highsec. The ISD members in local had other ideas.

(Luckily, some people set a better example.)

Your ISDs, ladies and gentlemen. Ruining the official EVE forums and encouraging new players to think that mining is the most fun EVE has to offer.

Rayne Hamataro was idling in a frigate when he was popped at the gate by Agent Aaaarrgg. Rayne then got an idea. What if he could hunt down the man who ganked him?

Though Rayne was unable to catch Aaaarrgg and exact his revenge, a new world had opened to him: The world of EVE as it is meant to be played. Judging by Rayne's experience, it's more fun than mining.

Friday, August 26, 2016

The Battle for Aridia, Part 12

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt 00 loved Aridia so much that she sent them the Code. Much of Aridia responded with genuine appreciation, and they joined the New Order enthusiastically. But Aridia was also home to some swine who didn't value the Code's pearls of wisdom. The resistance was centered around the United Systems of Aridia alliance and its feeder corp, U.S.A. - University. Alt 00 went straight to the source.

Alt 00 contacted April Longing, CEO of U.S.A. - University. Though it was their first meeting, April was all too familiar with our Agent. She was all the corp could talk about these days.

Now April had the chance to confront her nemesis face to face. First impressions are what they are, but Alt 00 was underwhelmed.

The CEO was dismissive of Alt 00; April hadn't lost a ship to her personally. Her corp members had suffered from all the ganks, but she didn't seem too concerned about that.

Alt 00 decided to remind her what was at stake.

Our Agent had a long list of kills. If April didn't do something about it, the list would only grow longer.

April admitted she wanted the ganks to stop. Yet she didn't show any willingness to obey the Code. She didn't even make an effort to understand it.

April's flippant attitude had gotten her nowhere. She couldn't deny the kills. The problem had been presented; now it was time to talk about solutions.

The critical moment was reached. April could do the responsible thing and embrace the Code, or she could condemn herself and her corp.

Some CEOs are incapable of serving their people well.

Our Agents are optimists by nature. They want to give the carebears every possible opportunity to avoid a terrible fate. At the same time, however, our Agents are realists and pragmatists. They're in the business of making things happen. If diplomacy won't get the job done, there are alternatives.

By now, it was obvious what April's problem was. She hadn't lost a ship yet, and she wouldn't have any empathy for her corp members until that happened. And in the meantime, she would act as a symbol of the anti-Code resistance in Aridia. Alt 00 was determined to target April herself for destruction.

Our Agent didn't have to wait long before a target of opportunity presented itself. In a daring raid under the sentry guns of a station, Alt Proxy ambushed April's Maulus. But the real prize was waiting inside: Alt 00 immediately followed up with a gank of April's pod. There were no implants inside--there was something better: Alt 00 acquired the frozen corpse of U.S.A. - University's leader.

April Longing, firebrand of the resistance, had been bested in elite PvP and humiliated in local for all to see. All hope of a rebel victory was obliterated. Our Agent was triumphant once more. Now there were two possibilities for the rebels: They could accept that they were beaten and open themselves to the wisdom of the Code. Or they could fully disengage from reality and abandon any semblance of sanity they still possessed.

To be concluded...

Thursday, August 25, 2016

The Battle for Aridia, Part 11

Previously, on MinerBumping... The United Systems of Aridia alliance and its feeder corp, U.S.A. - University, were in anguish. As the carebears were increasingly disheartened to read in Parts 1-10 of this series, Agent Alt 00 won victory after victory over the rebels in Aridia. As usual, the anti-Code crowd showed their true colors in defeat. Consequently, new Agents flocked to the New Order.

The bitter, disillusioned miners could do little but remain docked and vent their frustrations in local chat.

zluq zabaa looked on in amusement as Mr Freak Freakazoids tried to rattle his little saber. Mr Freak had already lost a battleship to zluq and her lowsec friends earlier in the day. But as zluq already knew, there was more to come.

Mirko Vinci Anneto had lost a faction battleship worth over 1 billion isk during the lowsec battle. Now zluq's allies destroyed Mirko's 883 million isk Tengu.

The news sent the rebels into an even deeper state of discouragement. Our Agent had a plan for cheering them up, though.

Alt 00 celebrated the victory over Mirko's Tengu by handing out bounties of 315,315 isk. Rebel Mandy Tivianne shared some depressing thoughts and went silent. The jeers and mockery in local ended.

As things were winding down, Solara Xadi wandered into the system. She and zluq wanted to explain to the rebel miners why they supported the New Order.

It was then that Alt 00 made a surprising discovery about Solara and zluq.

Our Agent assumed the two Code supporters knew each other. In fact, theirs had been a chance encounter--emergent content breeds emergent content! The two had been on opposite sides in PvP, but now had a common cause. The Code brings people together.

Since the rebels were still mute in local, Agent-in-training Jarl Stormwind Nod decided to share his story, too. Everyone in the system bore witness to the fact that all of the pro-Code people were wonderful folks and that the anti-Code people were generally scummy.

The next day, Alt 00 returned to Aridia and struck down a horrific Retriever belonging to a U.S.A. - University member. They'd started mining again!

The corp's leaders had told all the members not to buy mining permits. The Retriever pilot gave up and bought one anyway. It was clear enough that the corp couldn't protect her.

Several hours later, more good news: Jarl succeeded in realizing his dream of ganking a Venture. It, too, belonged to a member of U.S.A. - University.

Tom Walsh, who had merely waved "o/" to Jarl in local, became the new target of the rebel miners' rage. But even as the Venture pilot vowed revenge, he also promised to obey one of the most important provisions of the Code.

Progress was being made, especially where the rebel U.S.A. - University corp was concerned. Still, Alt 00 knew there was something rotten in the leadership of that corp. As the saying goes, the fish rots from the head. So Alt 00 decided to contact the corp's CEO. If she won her over, maybe there was a chance for a lasting peace in Aridia.

To be continued...

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

The Battle for Aridia, Part 10

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt 00's triumphs in Aridia wrought havoc among the rebel United Systems of Aridia alliance and its feeder corp, U.S.A. - University. As the carebears embarrassed themselves in local, support for the Code grew rapidly.

The conflict was all anyone was talking about in Aridia. It forced everyone to pick a side. Jarl Stormwind Nod was the latest to choose. He chose wisely.

Alt 00 was sure to let Jarl know that although the life of a New Order Agent seems glamorous from the outside, there are also obstacles to overcome.

Our Agent decided to take Jarl on a tour of Aridia's highsec islands so he could see the squalor for himself.

The rebels were still complaining that their mining operations had been shut down. Mr Freak Frakazoids was one of the angriest and most hostile of the bunch.

Alt 00 tried to cheer them up by announcing the exciting news about all of the new permit owners in the area.

Yet the miners just couldn't seem to get into the spirit of things. What was wrong with them?

In Mr Freak's case, the problem seemed clear: He was one of the rebels who lost a battleship while trying to camp Alt 00's route through lowsec.

Mr Freak's loss still stung. To cope with the pain, he suppressed all memory of the event. He boasted that he'd been "waiting all day for some action," even though he'd already had more action than he could handle.

From the Code: "They ask what I am 'saving' them from. I save the miners from themselves." More than ever, the words of the Code rang true. Alt 00 thought to herself that it was good that Jarl was witnessing this.

If highsec is to be transformed into a paradise worthy of its Code, the full horror of carebearism and bot-aspirancy must be looked upon--stared right in the face, without flinching.

If Jarl had carried with him any doubts about his decision to side with the New Order, those doubts were long gone.

The rebels tried to pass off their losses as unimportant and "fun", but Jarl saw right through it. Everything Alt 00 had told him about the carebears was true. And the Code, plainly, was the only answer. Anyone could see that now.

Another rebel miner spoke up and immediately condemned herself. Witnessing this scene, Everado began studying the Code. In no time at all, he sized up the situation and determined that the New Order was right.

Without having to say anything, Alt 00 won the argument. All she had to do was bring a potential recruit into a highsec system and let the miners start talking--or bahhhhhing. If the struggle for highsec's future is a war of ideas, then the rebels, carebears, bot-aspirants, and Anti-Gankers are like ships that can't shoot back.

Alt 00 won the debate. Now it was time to win the war.

To be continued...