Friday, June 23, 2017

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #134

Death wishes mixed with concerns about CCP's subscription numbers? Must be time for another edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

We get this question a lot. Perhaps it could be addressed in the official EVE tutorial?

After tens of thousands of ganks, Agent Aaaarrgg finally ganked the wrong guy. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

If you read between the lines, this guy's too cheap to let his son have an omega account. No surprise there--he was also to cheap to buy him a mining permit.

atturra so matter-of-factly recommended that our Agent heat up the Red Pen so its ink would spill. Why would our Agent want the ink to spill, though?

Okay, but writing something in an "added contact" notification isn't the best way to reach me.

You can tell our Agent was able to get through to this guy on some level. Otherwise he wouldn't have felt the need to say he wasn't just a miner.

James 315

So I was actually contemplating trying out Eve to see what it was like. Then I found your website by accident.. You are a terrible person. You made a faction just to grief and gank, just because nobody will stand up to you. You are a fascist AND YOU are a bully and eve should shut you down. As for me, Eve has lost any chance of me paying money to play their game and risk having a run-in with you and your group of fascist griefers. I hope you are happy that your foolishness has run off yet another prospective player. I have also forwarded this to friends of mine who recently mentioned Eve. They also will not play the game because of idiots like you. I also took the liberty to cc this to the Eve admins so they can read this just as you do.

Maybe you will change your ways, but by the extreme fascism you created on your website, i doubt you will. You probably think you are Role playing, but you aren't. You are a griefer, the most annoying type of person in gaming. As a game admin myself, I have banned many trolls like yourself. I hope you get what you deserve.


Do you really value your customer and your income? Or do you value identity politics of trolls like this minerbumping fascist? If you value your customers overall then you will shut this little marxist/neo-fascist troll down before he ruins your game completely. If you value trolls and griefers, then so be it. I will never support your product and I will help my gaming buddies by encouraging them to not support your product either.

Concerned gamer of over a decade in online communities. Admin of 2 game servers, 2 TeamSpeaks, Youtuber and in general a person who has a following of like minded gamers.
I only rarely get tears mailed to my out-of-game email address. I took this email very seriously, as it came from an admin and Youtuber who apparently has quite a following. Unfortunately, he didn't leave his name, so we have no way to fully appreciate how prominent a figure this gentleman must be.

4XTC Erquilenne was behaving like a Goofus, so Agent Lawrence Lawton urged him to adjust his attitude. He did:

Don't be fooled, dear reader. 4XTC was probably just laying the groundwork for a future post-gank message: "I wasn't AFK, I was just visiting my step-daughter..."

You can usually tell when someone is going to buy a mining permit, and when they're not...

Luke Norman returned later to buy a permit. Like I said, you can always tell when someone's going to buy a permit. Because everyone buys a permit eventually.

More and more, the residents of lowsec, nullsec, and wormhole space are beginning to realize that highsec is the home of elite PvP.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Over One Trillion One Hundred Ninety-Nine Billion in Shares Sold

Hearts, minds, PvP combat, arguments... We win 'em all. The CODE always wins. Always!

Speaking of always winning, the liquidation of Durandi Ghostal's assets added 3,418 more shares to his farewell EVE tally. This sent us over the 1,197, 1,198, and 1,199 billion isk marks and earned Durandi a deferred Triple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. He's now the 12th ranked shareholder overall. Not too shabby.


Cue the music.

If you're new to EVE and wondering why our Agents have such a reputation for contributing to the fine arts, there you go.

Another week of extraordinary victories. It's incredible, isn't it?

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Venture of a Lifetime, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... The Algogille system was in trouble. Help arrived in the form of Agents Lewak and Shilliam Watner, who tore through the Venture-infested asteroid belts with a vengeance. But no good deed goes unpunished: Fail-fit Venture pilot Belatucadnos UK retaliated by spouting propaganda in local.

Lewak tried to improve highsec the best way he knew how. For this, many hailed him as a hero. Others cursed him as a monster.

When Belatucadnos went silent, his mantle was picked up by VsUK Cammack. Our Agents suspected him of being Belatucadnos' alt. Perhaps the miner felt a character without a record of losing 27 million isk Ventures would have more credibility.

Agent Lewak never backs down from a fight. He verbally PvP'ed the miner with a Logic Cannon II.

A pattern developed. Each time an Algogille carebear lost the argument, he or another carebear would change the subject to try a new line of attack.

I have 79 billion isk in my wallet, yet I am poor--because I am a river to my people! Despite being poor, I feel like the richest man in the world, because of friendship, etc.

Lewak deftly torpedoed one carebear argument after another. The rebels acknowledged their defeats by repeatedly opening up new excuses for their poor behavior.

What VsUK saw as a weakness was actually an incredible strength of the New Order: Its ability to rescue its enemies and bring them to the right side of EVE.

After all, it's not for no reason that my name has become synonymous with mercy.

More miners erupted in local. While Lewak engaged the rebels in a debate, Agent Shilliam Watner was busy advancing the Code with antimatter.

Another satisfied customer:

Shilliam Watner located the Code violator in a nearby asteroid belt and summarily executed him.

With nowhere left to hide, VsUK took refuge in the last, desperate bastion of carebearism: The belief that the Code will destroy EVE by driving away subscribers and bankrupting CCP.

Lewak wouldn't allow the scurrilous charge to go unanswered. He stepped forward to defend the honour of the Code.

To be continued...

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Venture of a Lifetime, Part 1

Belatucadnos UK hated being ganked, but not enough to change his evil ways.

In the exotic Essence region, our Agents patrolled the asteroid belts for unlicensed Ventures. Belatucadnos didn't buy a permit or even fully fit his ship, but he saw no problem in spending 26 million isk on a yield module. Nor did he learn much from being ganked: He lost a Venture with the exact same fit the day before--in the same system!

Belatucadnos pretended to be innocent. "I wasn't AFK, I was just..." He claimed that he wanted rookie help, but he showed disrespect to the Agent who was offering him true rookie help.

The miner condemned the phenomenon of "fucking homo's grouping together, following a stupid law as if it really matters." Otherwise known as civilization.

Belatucadnos raged at the brave men and women who enforced the Code, predicting a violent end for any Agent who met him. So far, though, every time he met an Agent, he lost a Venture.

Agent Shilliam Watner joined the conversation. It was he who had ganked Belatucadnos the day before. Shilliam was disappointed to observe the miner's lack of progress.

Clearly, the EVE tutorial had failed this miner. Agent Lewak made a vow: No one would be able to say he had failed the miner.

Belatucadnos ditched the "innocent new player" routine and picked up the "powerful combat alt" routine. His alt won PvP battles all the time. Unfortunately, he was unable to produce his alt's name.

Agent Shilliam put the whole system on notice, informing everyone in local that Belatucadnos was a repeat offender.

Our Agents provided the system with an opportunity to talk about the only subject that anyone in highsec really gets invested in: the New Order and its Code.

VsUK Cammack joined the fray. Shilliam strongly suspected the pro-carebear individual to be the alt of Belatucadnos.

The highsec population is divided into pro- and anti-Code factions. Over the years, the pro-Code faction has been growing stronger. People realize that we're on the right side of history.

The battle was joined. Would the hearts and minds of the Algogille system be won by the Code, or did the residents need to be repeatedly ganked before that happened?

To be continued...

Monday, June 19, 2017

Don't Feed the Trolls

"Nobody warned me about the Code," says the carebear. In fact, the carebears hear about little else. Our Agents are EVE celebrities, hailed by the locals in every system.

Stan Twiddle tried to get our Agents to stop PvP'ing him, but they were having too much fun. The result was a terrific explosion and the loss of Stan's 3 billion isk freighter.

Australian Excellence and his colleagues from the Gate Tax Collection Agency assembled a lot of firepower and pulled off an impressive gank. Stan was too poor a sport to congratulate them on their achievement, though.

Thanks to the mighty CODE. alliance, Poinen local was buzzing with excitement. A random local advised Stan not to "feed the trolls". Stan could only hold his tongue for a few minutes. Then he shed some tears and left the system.

Australian asked the question that everyone was thinking: Where was Anti-Ganking during that gank? Highsec Militia ten-star super-admiral Thomas en Chasteaux confirmed that all AG personnel were already assigned to the task of non-stop failing daily. Therefore there was no one available to try to stop the gank.

Another carebear spoke up. Kor stavik didn't feel the need to hide behind any pretense: He immediately admitted that he'd been ganked by CODE. before. It was true; he'd recently lost a poorly tanked Mackinaw.

Poinen local had been dead before our Agents arrived. No longer. It hosted a group therapy session for all of the New Order's "victims". But at least local wasn't silent anymore.

Kor was interrupted by another "don't feed the trolls" request in local chat. Would it work this time?

Kor's tears were far too important. His rant took priority over the need to deprive our Agents of salt.

In fact, people have been saying for many years that the New Order would be defeated if only everyone stopped talking about us. "Don't give them content," urge the rebels. But this is like trying to achieve world peace by telling people to stop fighting.

Kor was spreading poisonous lies in local, so Australian took the opportunity to clear up some misconceptions about the New Order. Poinen deserved the truth.

Our Agents' humility is pretty darned legendary. (They learned it from me.)

Kor groaned about the burden of being a new player in CODE. territory. I'll save you the trouble of looking him up, dear reader: He's been playing EVE for over 5 years.

The carebear tried to passive-aggressively curse our Agent. Australian only needed a few seconds to think about how to reply:

The miner decided to take some time off from playing EVE, which was probably for the best. Kor's impromptu vacation was a good opportunity to catch up on his reading. If you're an EVE player, the Code should be at the top of your summer reading list. Or winter reading list, if you're in Australia.