Friday, November 16, 2018

The Holistic Review, Part 1

You know, people often complain about various aspects of EVE and CCP (and I guess Pearl Abyss, now). To be sure, there's plenty of room for improvement. But it's important that we don't lose sight of EVE's many positive features. Chief among them:

The Code. Ah yes, the Code. Of course. As a CCP dev once said, the best content in the game is that which is created by the players themselves. That certainly rings true when it comes to the Code.

So let's talk about it--the Code, I mean. And today, I'd like to shine a spotlight on one of the more underrated provisions: The excessive mining provision.
"No excessive mining. Miners should not fall into a routine of mining all day. I want well-rounded people in my system, not ice-mining machines."
If you believe the rebels and skeptics, the excessive mining provision is an infernal clause that burns down the rest of the Code. "They put that in the Code so they can gank you even if you buy a permit and follow all the other rules."

Nothing could be further from the truth. In reality, the excessive mining provision is of vital importance to the health and safety of highsec. For example, consider a case from a couple years ago, when a miner was ganked by our Agents despite being at his keyboard and fully tanking his ship. He even owned a permit! The only problem? He was hosting a Twitch stream where he mined for 11 hours straight.

A little excessive, no?

"But James 315," you say. "Maybe he enjoys mining. Other people have spent 11 hours playing EVE. Like nullsec line members participating in an important time-dilated fleet battle, or Bonus Room contestants. Who are you to say that someone can't spend 11 hours mining, if that's what they want to do?"

I'm the Saviour of Highsec. Take a seat.

There are good reasons, of course, for the Code's prohibition against excessive mining. Think about the toll it takes on someone to spend that much time mining. I'm not just talking about the mind-numbing effects, either. Eleven hours of mining has got to be a real drag. If you spend that much time mining, you might start to realize the futility of it all. Maybe you quit EVE, causing CCP's profit margins to decline. Maybe CCP gets less money from Pearl Abyss as a result. But there are other implications, too.

You see, after you spend enough time engaged in the nearly automated task of highsec mining, you might start to envy the mining bots. They have inhuman endurance. They can mine for 11 hours or more, day after day, week after week. Mining bots pull in yields that most miners can't even fathom. However, someone who mines excessively might start to narrow the gap enough to make them think, "Why shouldn't I get those yields? If they can bot, why can't I?"

Before you know it, our marathon miner is a bot-aspirant. He reflects upon all the benefits of a life where he doesn't have to spend 11 hours in front of his keyboard mining. Yet he craves the ore. He wants it all, and the only way he can see to get it is to download a macro mining program.

Only our Agents can stop him.

You see, the Agents of the New Order are the only people you can trust to actually do something about the bot menace. Our Agents are trained to hunt them down. The rebel scoffs, "How can you tell the difference between a botter and a human miner?" Exactly, friend. When some misguided fellow goes on an 11-hour mining bender, he starts to look a lot like a bot. The more miners who mine excessively, the easier it is for the botters to blend in.

In comes the report: "An Orca pilot has been spotted mining all day without taking a break." The locals chime in to defend him, "He's not a bot. I've spent 11 hours mining while watching him mine for 11 hours on Twitch."

What a mess.

Which brings us to another provision of the Code,
"Miners should strive not only to avoid botting, but to avoid even the appearance of botting."
You see how it all ties together? There's a flow to the Code, one powered by logic and reason. The Anti-Ganker says, "It's just an excuse for griefing." The Anti-Gankers were never big fans of logic or reason.

So we know that a miner shouldn't engage in excessive mining. There's more to it, though. Let's read that Code provision again:
"No excessive mining. Miners should not fall into a routine of mining all day. I want well-rounded people in my system, not ice-mining machines."
Say, what's this business about "well-rounded people"?

To be continued...

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Over One Trillion Six Hundred Nineteen Billion in Shares Sold

Ernst Steinitz got it done. Last time, we ended up just shy of the 1,619 billion isk mark, and a low-hanging Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ was left waiting for the EVE player with the quickest reflexes. However, lest you question Agent Ernst's intentions, it turned out that he had placed a buy order for 315 additional shares just prior to the last shareholder update. Thus, he acted on instinct alone--and instant karma awaited him in the form of a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

That's basically how highsec works under New Order rule. Fate and destiny are built into the system.


Previously, we shared the good news about Medar Uith returning to the banner-designing business.

Curiosity was sparked among our readers, and today it will be satisfied--to an extent. Including the current one, which is a recent creation by Medar, there have been six different MinerBumping banners. Here they are:

Medar gave me two additional banners which have not yet been used. Their designs shall remain locked up and shrouded in mystery for now. At some point in the future--perhaps when the reader least expects it--those banners will be revealed.

Until then, watch and wait.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

The Hostile Takeover, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Andreas Shiyurida, a self-proclaimed "innocent newbie" with five years of EVE under his belt, had an altercation with Agent Minx Mattel. Said altercation resulted in the loss of Andreas' unlicensed Ventures, one after another. Everything seemed to be going well until Andreas demanded reimbursement for his most recent gank loss.

Andreas had no basis for his reimbursement claim. He knew perfectly well that he should've docked up; he had even warned everyone else in the system to do so.

The odds did not seem to be in miner's favor. Even so, Agent Minx let him know that there was a higher authority that he could petition.

Now there was only one question: Did Andreas care so much about his Venture that he would dare to beseech the Saviour of Highsec?

Protip: If you want to get on my good side, it's probably not a good idea to refer to my Agents as "idiots". Especially since the Code requires you to show them respect. Also, "all my implants"?

More like "all my implant". And a mining implant, at that.

But there was another intriguing dimension to Andreas' reimbursement request. He was a New Order shareholder. In fact, by a bizarre coincidence, Andreas had become a shareholder just a few days earlier. Were his motives pure--or impure?


And just how many shares was Andreas willing to buy in order to set his hostile takeover plan into motion?

We've sold over 1.6 million shares, by the way. Better get the word out.

Shortly after sending in his reimbursement request, Andreas got ganked yet again.

It was only a matter of time before Andreas was down to his last Venture.

Our Agent made repeated efforts to help the miner get out of his rut, but to no avail. Andreas Shiyurida was a bot-aspirant.

Only a carebear would come up with a revenge plot that involves mining in highsec in an Orca. I hope he does get an Orca eventually, though. I know a few people who would love to help him test its tank.

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

The Hostile Takeover, Part 1

A riddle, dear reader.

What's worse than losing your Venture because you were caught mining without a license?

...When the same thing happens in the exact same place 26 minutes later.

A month later, Andreas Shiyurida was back in the Isanamo system. By now, however, he'd learned to watch local. He was even warning his fellow miners to dock up!

The "evil pirate" in question was Agent Minx Mattel. If Andreas were a good, decent miner, he'd find an Agent's presence comforting.

Andreas tried to turn everyone against Minx. He completely neglected to disclose the fact that he'd been ganked by Minx before--an obvious conflict of interest.

(And yes, as you might guess, the "innocent new player" was old and guilty.)

Code enforcers don't shoot people randomly. They only kill those who deserve to be killed.

At that very moment, in fact, Minx was killing a mining Badger who most certainly deserved to be ganked. Andreas had no rebuttal, so he remained silent.

Or maybe he was just AFK.

Tsk. Andreas made the classic mistake of not docking up before showing disrespect to an Agent in local. Instant karma.

The miner remained outwardly defiant, even though he'd been smacked with the truth of the Code right in the face.

If we're not allowed to kill everyone, then why is the mighty CODE. alliance so good at killing everyone? Everyone who deserves it, I mean?

Andreas wasn't interested in hearing Minx's sage advice. He wanted another Venture, and he wanted Minx to pay for it. On the surface, it seemed like an absurd request. Surely Andreas had no chance of getting reimbursement for his loss under these circumstances.

Or did he?

To be continued...

Monday, November 12, 2018

The Accidental Advocate

If you're on the EVE subreddit and you want to read the comments on a thread, always scroll down to the bottom first--that's where the best replies are. It's usually where our Agents' comments can be found.

Someone made a thread asking for advice on how to steal the loot earned by highsec gankers when they kill a carebear. Agent Minx Mattel offered a compelling alternative.

What followed was an exchange between our Agent and a user by the name of "TheGigaBrain", copied into text by EVEmail for superior readability. Though not the original poster himself, TheGigaBrain was inexplicably infuriated by Minx's comment.

TheGigaBrain seemed to be an example of The Manipulator, a Code-hater who claims not to mind gankers but wishes that our Agents wouldn't get tied up in all that "Code" stuff.

Given the chance to disavow the Code and gain a random Redditor's approval, Minx refused. She instead gave the Code a ringing endorsement in a stirring speech.

Incredibly, the Redditor ignored the passion and sincerity of Minx's words. He refused to embrace the Code, instead composing a point-by-point objection to Minx's speech. What a cynic!

TheGigaBrain was incensed. It was bad enough that someone might be roleplaying in a MMORPG. But to not even be able to tell for certain whether someone was roleplaying? That was a nightmare, one that inspired in TheGigaBrain the most intense hatred for the Code.

As the conversation unfolded, the Redditor linked his EVE character's zKillboard record as proof that he wasn't a miner.

Agent Minx did a quick search of the killboard and found something shocking.

A year earlier, when the Redditor was a member of Pandemic Horde, he engaged in the ganking of newbies. One was only a day old at the time. Another, less than a week old, was ganked in the Akiainavas system. That struck a chord with Agent Minx.

As we saw in the Forever Young series, CCP's rules on "rookie griefing" offer newbies special protection in the Akiainavas system. Agent Minx herself had gotten yelled at by a crusty old miner who tried to claim immunity under that rule.

Thus were the anti-Code forces pitted against one another. How would TheGigaBrain respond to this apparent contradiction? Would he admit his own guilt, or would he be forced to take an even harder-line position in favor of ganking than CCP and the gankers themselves?

There you have it. A self-professed hater of the Code says it's okay to gank newbies in a rookie system. Perhaps his space lawyer and the Anti-Gankers' space lawyers should get together and fight this one out?

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Kills of the Week

From the very beginning, the Catalyst has been the mainstay of the Code-enforcing ganker. It's such a fitting name, too, for the Catalyst has been the catalyst for so much good in highsec over the years. And though the New Order has made use of all kinds of ships, the Catalyst has a special place in our hearts. With that in mind, let us reflect upon some victories from the week of November 4th @ 00:00 EVEtime through November 10th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

Apparently Anguis Comedenti was aware of our Agents' love for Catalysts, so he used one to disguise his hauling activities. Agent Votre Dieu wasn't fooled. Now let's see what Anguis was hauling.

And it had better not be what I think it is.


Interestingly, even before losing 7 billion isk worth of skill injectors, Anguis was carrying ten containers already filled with his tears.

Claas Stoertebeck could've fully tanked his Skiff; it would've had an impressive number of hitpoints for a mining ship. Instead, he chose to bling out his lowslots until the Skiff was worth 1.4 billion isk. As if an unlicensed mining vessel isn't already irresistible to gankers. Agents Augustus De Morgan, Max August Zorn, Niels Henrik Abel, Felix Hausdorff, and Ernst Steinitz had no trouble removing this criminal from our territory.

Highsec is home to many noble houses: The Kusions, the Tax Collectors, the Rozeis, the Fizzleblades, and so many others. TheKlotz met another fine family when he autopiloted his Fenrir into Niarja without a permit--and without a plan. Agents Georgia Rackner, Yan Rackner, Jani Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Ashlee Rackner, Globby Rackner, Emily Rackner, Jemma Rackner, Phoenix Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, eviserater Adoudel, Ivy Rackner, Zoe Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Charlotte Rackner, and Benji Rackner proved that family values are alive and well in highsec.

Iron Warry is undoubtedly among the carebears who have whined about gankers who "shoot ships that can't shoot back". In fact, our Agents have found no shortage of weapons on the ships they gank. The problem isn't a lack of guns; it's a lack of pilots. Iron chose to go AFK and found himself locked in a battle with some people who play EVE from their keyboards: Agents Votre Dieu, Ariku Orenuk, Rungerd, and Narl' Amhar.

Late last week, Expanding Borders corp found itself wardecced. They weren't interested in participating, so they all docked up and probably unsubscribed--or so I'm told. Luckily, their structures couldn't dock up. Agents Entelligente Ente, Astrahus Gunner, Keepstar Gunner, Fortizar Gunner, Sotiyo Gunner, Azbel Gunner, and Entelligente enjoyed the wardec despite the poor sportsmanship of the defending side.

No buyers, I guess.

Miho Sucz should've known that anyone who plugs in implants in highsec without our permission is rolling the dice. Miho lost her bet when Agent Eva Mavas pulled up alongside her in a shiny new Catalyst. The battle was brief, but memorable.

Some put their trust in shield implants; others trust in the Code. The results speak for themselves.