Sunday, April 21, 2019

Kills of the Week

The lessons of the Code are invaluable. Carebears have little cause for complaint when our Agents drop by and teach them how EVE is played. Instead of whining about their losses, the carebears should ask themselves, "What could I have done to avoid being ganked? How could I have been more faithful to the Code?" Anything else is folly. Let's examine a few of the lessons that were taught during the week of April 14th @ 00:00 EVEtime through April 20th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

Judging by the bulkheads she fit, Iona Sarkovy knew her freighter would be in danger if she went to Uedama. Perhaps she assumed that our Agents would prefer to gank a freighter with fewer hitpoints, and that hers would be overlooked. If so, she seriously misjudged the firepower of our Agents' gank armadas in 2019. Agents Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Kittens, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector AynRand, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Yuna, and Tax Collector Larry won the battle with a dozen Taloses and several Catalysts.

Due to all of our freighter ganks, highsec's hauler pilots are increasingly switching to other kinds of ships to move their contraband. But as Alena McJenkins learned, this strategy is highly risky. Alena loaded up her tech I hauler as though it had hitpoints to spare. Agent Gogela was able to pop this 7.7 billion isk ship all by himself, and in a 1.0 security system to boot!

Our Agents have upped their patrols of 1.0 security systems--to great effect. Amelia MoonHawk lost 8.6 billion isk in a flash when her Deep Space Transport was blapped by a group of Tornadoes piloted by Agents Gandor Ironfist, iZaEaRl, and Spazmongloid. Nowhere in highsec is safe for the Code violator.

We've seen plenty of blingy Skiffs that had a lot of tank modules, but Foghat Allier opted not to add too many hitpoints to his mining ship. I wonder if Foghat secretly wanted to be ganked by Agents Maximus Gooseman, Yamadutas, Misha Mawashi, Lewak, Gagah Enforcer, Araena Calorne, Eva Mavas, Elana Sabezan, Eduard Limonov, Edmund Sublett, and Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri. I mean, come on--ORE Ice Harvesters?

Chrona Corporation found itself at war with the mighty CODE. alliance after the corp failed to recognize the Code as the supreme law of the land. Every wardec is an opportunity for another CODE. victory, and this one was no different. Agents Aaaarrggs Scout Alt, Aaaarrgg, Pod-Goo Repoman, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, Pod-Goo Repairman, and Hek Arbosa assembled a strike force of Leshaks and Guardians and took down the enemy corp's unlicensed Engineering Complex.

Monkeyfou LeVagabond was having a bad day when his 3 billion isk freighter was ganked by, well, this:

That's a lot of CODE.! Then came the race to gank Monkeyfou's pod. The winner was Agent brainlet, who timed his smartbombs with the precision we've come to expect from such an elite PvP'er.

As it happened, Monkeyfou's pod was worth even more than his freighter. But even more valuable, of course, was the lesson: No permit, no ship--and no implants.

Saturday, April 20, 2019

A Little Knowledge Is a Dangerous Thing, Part 1

Another day, another glorious victory--or two, or twelve, or fifty--for the New Order.

The mighty CODE. alliance smashed an unlicensed freighter cruising through highsec. Its pilot was almost certainly AFK at the time.

That may seem like a lot of CODE., but these days giant CODE. fleets are common. Bot-aspirants can't build a ship that we don't have the firepower to destroy. With so many CODE. in that system, where was Anti-Ganking?

...Busy failing, as usual.

The anti-Code rebels are powerless to stop our brave, elite warriors. Our Agents' biggest problem: What to do with all of the loot.

When this particular freighter exploded, it dropped a nice, fat Fortizar. But surely the Anti-Gankers could at least interfere with the looting of such a large cargo?

In the pre-Crimewatch days, a ganker could send his own freighter to loot the wreck. Under the old rules, only the wreck's owner (i.e., the gank recipient himself) would be allowed to shoot the looter. That system made it very easy for the ganker--or anyone else nearby--to loot wrecks without retaliation. CCP eventually changed the rules so that anyone could shoot a looter. In theory, an Anti-Ganker can trap and kill a ganker's freighter when it tries to loot a fat wreck.

So the gankers adapted--as usual.

...And the Anti-Gankers whined. As usual.

Anti-Ganker Equ Snc was furious when she learned that gankers had found a way to more effectively transfer large amounts of loot from wrecks. It still involves substantial risk on the part of the ganker, but anti-Code types want ganking to be impossible.

As Equ Snc bemoaned the mechanics, she was challenged by fellow Anti-Ganker Knowledgeminer. If that name sounds familiar, there's a reason:

As we've seen in previous posts, Knowledgeminer is known for skewering his fellow rebels for their incompetence, laziness, ignorance, and bad attitudes.

It's a wonder the Anti-Gankers keep him around. Probably due to a shortage of rebels.

Equ Snc wasn't willing to be silenced without a fight. Without a fight in chat, at least.

To be continued...

Friday, April 19, 2019

Outrage in Arnon, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Some miners rant and rave when they lose a mining barge. That's to be expected, I suppose. But when Tom Catz lost his Retriever, he bombarded Agent Lewak with a seemingly endless series of ranting EVEmails.

Despite a dead barge and a bundle of wisdom courtesy of Agent Lewak, the miner was no closer to buying a permit. Tom simply couldn't understand what motivated the ganker.

Our Agent, of course, was totally open and transparent about why he did what he did. The New Order has no ulterior motives or hidden schemes. The Code can be downloaded and read by anyone--and it's available in ten different languages.

Tom's problem is that he wouldn't read the Code. No wonder he was so confused.

Lewak urged the miner to simply read the Code. It would be smooth sailing from there.

Alas, Tom preferred to experience one emotional meltdown after another. Looks like he's another one of those "relaxed" miners.

As it so often does, compassion filled Lewak's heart. But it was doubtful that the miner would appreciate it.

Tom confessed that he didn't care about anything but mining for the purpose of grinding isk. He was a bot-aspirant.

Yet even a hardened bot-aspirant can be rescued by the power of the Code. Tom could turn his life around. And if he didn't, he was 100% responsible for the consequences.

Though he hadn't quite left the "denial" and "anger" phases, Tom tried his hand at bargaining. He offered to leave Lewak alone in exchange for free rein to engage in illegal mining. (Try offering that kind of deal to any police officer you meet. I doubt you'll get many takers.)


Tom insisted that the two needed some way out of their stalemate. Rather than making a reasonable proposal (like offering to obey every provision of the Code), he asked Lewak to come up with something.

Agent Lewak dug deep: He was willing to sell the miner a permit for only 10 million isk.

In an odd bit of negotiating, Tom made a unilateral offer to leave Lewak alone--something he'd previously suggested would require Lewak to do the same.

Unfortunately for Tom, the talks concluded with the miner continuing to be a target for Code enforcers everywhere in highsec. Our Agent had refused to compromise his principles. Another victory for the Code!

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Outrage in Arnon, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Misguided carebear Tom Catz provoked Agent Lewak into ganking his Retriever by mining illegally in the Arnon system. Lewak did the miner a favor by explaining EVE to him via EVEmail. But Tom was outraged.

"Hold everything!" shouts the carebear apologist, "The miner was merely a new player trying to find his direction! Your Agents are going to bankrupt CCP and/or Pearl Abyss!"

Though Tom belonged to corp that claimed to service "new players", his character was created in 2005. His recent return to the game is, frankly, suspicious. Regardless, Tom didn't need the corp's help to "find his direction". There is only one direction in EVE: the Code.

It is said that the first two stages of grief are denial and anger. Tom inhabited both.

Agent Lewak knew it would be difficult to guide this miner through the various stages of grief. Here's the thing, though: Agents of the New Order are really, really good at accomplishing difficult tasks.

Our Agent sensed that Tom was deeply paranoid. The miner perceived Lewak--probably the only person who has spoken to him since 2005--as the enemy.

Although Agent Lewak was interested in fixing Tom's many psychological problems, the priority for now was getting the miner to pay him 10 million isk. After that, things would pretty much take care of themselves.

Tom was disgusted by Lewak. He accused our Agent of ruining the game. You know, the game Tom enjoyed so much that he took a 13-year break from it?

The miner had a bunch of meaningless buzzwords like "bullying" and "blackmail". Lewak had the name of the Saviour of Highsec. It wasn't a fair fight.

Tom vowed revenge. It wouldn't come quickly, of course. But the miner was patient. Very patient. At this rate, Tom might not put his plan into action for another few decades.

Carebears are creatures of contradictions. How else can you explain these two sentences being written side by side: "And BTW, i say FUCK the code! I have NOTHING to say against them!"

What a Goofus.

Lewak bravely stood up for what he believed in. Like the opponents of Nazism and slavery, the Agents of the New Order are on the right side of history.

Tom railed against Lewak for telling him what to do--while telling Lewak what to do.

Luckily, Lewak didn't take his orders from angry miners; Lewak followed the Code. Though Lewak was confident that Tom would buy a permit eventually, he noted that the miner still hadn't calmed down 24 hours after the gank. Nobody ever said Code enforcement was easy.

To be continued...

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Over One Trillion Seven Hundred Seventy-One Billion in Shares Sold

Another corporation joins the fight! Black Hat Adventurers purchased 2,000 shares of New Order stock, taking us past the 1,770 and 1,771 billion isk marks. The corporation earns a Double Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™ for this achievement.

Interesting. I don't know of many corps advertising this service that also own New Order shares.


Some random thoughts to reflect upon, dear reader.

The rebellious carebears refuse to accept the fact that our fair Order and our fair Code help people. Is it because the carebears are never interested in helping anyone but themselves? Are they too selfish to see altruism and generosity in others?

The rebellious carebears have spent years spreading the lie that a New Order permit is worthless and that Code-following miners get ganked. These carebears claim that our Agents "don't follow their own Code". Is it because the carebears are so quick to lie whenever it suits them? Do carebears find it difficult to imagine other people following rules because they're so easily tempted into breaking the rules themselves?

EVE Online is a PvP sandbox game. This means that carebears who haven't yet engaged in PvP haven't yet played the game. They're not really EVE players, then; they're more like potential players. When these carebears get ganked and experience PvP for the first time, only then have they begun to play the game. Thus, no one should complain about "new players" being ganked, because first-time gank recipients are always new players. And since opposing ganking means you're against allowing people to become new players, the Anti-Gankers are anti-newbro.

Let us ponder on these things.