Monday, January 22, 2018

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 33

Previously, on MinerBumping... Mission Ready Mining refugees awoke to a new horror when they realized that the Agents of the New Order who had chased them out of the Gelhan system were also patrolling the neighboring systems. With the miners' frustration reaching unprecedented levels, Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet was the recipient of extraordinary hostility.

Tyrax Iceheart came dangerously close to making real-life threats against his enemy. At the urging of his fellow miner, Tyrax retreated--something he was accustomed to doing.

Agent TheInternet became public enemy number one. All he had to do was show his face in local to get the MRM members' teeth set on edge.

Agent Georgia B Dixie returned from one of the neighboring systems to check in on Gelhan. What was all this ruckus about?

The miners were still out of their minds with grief. Best to wait an hour or two before asking them if they had come around on the Code yet.

Later that day, an intrepid Venture attempted to mine in Gelhan. Upon the Venture's destruction, the miners of MRM settled in for another day of staying docked up.

However, MRM's combat ships were on the move. Agent Kalorned wanted to get in some good bumping time with his famous Orthrus. He immediately noticed a lot of MRM and Fly Fearless (the alliance that MRM corp is a member of) tickers. Did their fleet intend to attack Kalorned, finally?

...Apparently not. Kalorned continued to roam Gelhan at will. But it was now getting quite difficult to find any mining ships.

The next day, TheInternet greeted Gelhan, only to be met by an uncharacteristic silence. Something was brewing. Finally, the silence was broken.

Previously, MRM members had inadvertently--and unnecessarily--provoked The Marmite Collective into declaring war against their alliance, Fly Fearless. TheInternet learned that the Marmites had engaged in a fight with some MRM members earlier that day. During the fight, Agent Georgia intervened by bumping one of the MRM battleships. Wild conspiracy theories ensued.

The rumor was spreading throughout the MRM ranks like wildfire. TheInternet and Marmite member Murdoch Luther decided to fan the flames.

Having witnessed the exchange of pleasantries between a Marmite and an Agent of the New Order, the MRM members were now absolutely convinced: It was clear case of collusion!

Since there weren't any miners around, TheInternet tried his hand at bumping combat ships. It really seemed to bother the MRM members, who feared the bumps would put them at a disadvantage if and when a Marmite gang showed up.

Slypher Hekki threatened to report TheInternet to CCP--nothing new there. But she also announced her intention to break the news to everyone about The Marmite Collective's collusion with the mighty CODE. alliance. One way or another, the truth would get out. Gelhan was about to be rocked by scandal.

To be continued...

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Kills of the Week

CCP has created a wonderful PvP sandbox in EVE. Unfortunately, too many players abuse the sandbox by using their freedom to make bad decisions. There's good news, though: When players make bad decisions in highsec, they get punished for it by Code enforcers. Logically speaking, the Code was predestined to come into existence; highsec wouldn't make any sense otherwise. Let's take a look at the Code in action during the week of January 14th @ 00:00 EVEtime through January 20th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

What will it take to teach all of these ORE cargo-expanded jump freighters to obey the Code? How many hundreds of billions of isk must be destroyed in the Iyen-Oursta system? java4 knight was the latest to experience a crushing loss simply because he couldn't be bothered to buy a 10 million isk mining permit.

An impressive gank fleet assembled by the mighty CODE. alliance took down this beast: Agents Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector HongMei, Justin Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jason Kusion, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Larry, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Kittens, Australian Excellence, Jake Kusion, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector Buck, Joseph Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector Stroheim, Joshua Kusion, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Aruka, Jackson Kusion, Tax Collector AynRand, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, brainlet, Ding Dong MingMong, Mining Lord 1999, Kaddan, HSM Chief PettyOfficer, and HSM Fleet Admiral.

A sample of the cargo reveals that somebody has been doing a lot of unlicensed mining. I wonder how many hours of "effort" were erased by this gank?

It probably goes without saying that Jacht Mihoff's Retriever fit was ill-advised. He managed to lose nearly 900 million isk on what would normally be a cheap barge. Jacht can't claim he was defenseless--he equipped a drone damage mod, after all. Even so, he was defeated in elite PvP by Agents Liek DarZ, Plasma Death, and Photon Death.

I guess the theme of the week is, "A foolish miner and his money are soon parted." Bud Panala spent 1.5 billion isk on a head-scratcher of a Mackinaw. Even an unlicensed carebear ought to be able to design a better fit than this. Agents NotTheSmartestCookie, Lil Bobby Tables, Hans Ferdeappel, Snoobee Power, Nasagasa Bump, Lingmei White, xilaf, Hyrum Shakiel, Unfit ForDoody, flyper faper, Crom Cimmeria, Dixie Lot, and Space Pirate Gankus were all eager to get a piece of this killmail.

Over a billion isk of the loss came in the form of decadent mining drones. I'm sure plenty of bot-aspirants wish they could be a mining drone.

Is it possible that the miners are actually getting dumber? Avo Xo offered new support for this theory with her 2 billion isk Mackinaw. Contrary to Avo's expectations, her billion isk invulnerability field didn't scare off Agents Cautiously Pessimistic, Lucia, Alt Proxy, Araena Calorne, Cautiously Optimistic, Erigeneia, Alt 00, Alt 0, and Eva Mavas. It's almost as if blingy modules make you more of a target.

You can tell that Schwester Pointi was desperately afraid of being tackled. But all of that warp core strength did her little good while she slowly autopiloted through highsec. Agents Trump The King, Lagatha Rozei, Christine Rozei, Giselle Rozei, Tawny Rozei, Shanade Rozei, brainlet, Sherri Rozei, Ruby Rozei, and Ivanka Rozei knocked out the Occator and did highsec proud.

Schwester was carrying nearly a billion isk in skill injectors. That was only the start, though.

The bot-aspirant was also smuggling a couple dozen BPCs that would've been used to create more decadent mining drones! zKillboard didn't value the BPCs, but let's just say highsec is a little more Code-compliant with Schwester and her cargo taken out of the equation.

Raoul sun Ottenthal was ganked while autopiloting a 4.5 billion isk freighter. His humiliation was made complete with an additional 3 billion isk loss from implants popped by Agent Pod-Goo RepoWoman.

Judging by his implants, Raoul was in a hurry. Not to worry, freighter pilots. We'll gank you even if you're late.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #149

Her freighter died two minutes later. But then, carebears never were good at predicting the future of their ships. Welcome to another edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

You can tell the New Order's grip on highsec is tightening when players get ganked the very first time they try to mine. (Maybe they can get advice from one of those anonymous commenters who claim to have mined for years without ever seeing an Agent?)

This exchange followed the destruction of Great Zeus's 328 million isk Mackinaw. Zeus wasn't done yet:

Zeus should've taken the hint, paid his money, and turned away from bot-aspirancy. He didn't. In fact, he was busy getting another exhumer ready.

The miner didn't even bother changing systems. Zeus lost a 343 million isk Hulk and a 2.2 billion isk pod. His alt/corpmate, bigdaddad, remained in the system to lose a 388 million isk Mackinaw and a 3.4 billion isk pod shortly thereafter. Tears are getting expensive these days!

A shocking EVEmail: Some guy named branrex came out of nowhere and casually suggested that I make "modifications" to our sacred Code, the most transformative document in EVE's history. His first request revealed his ignorance: Only a few months ago, I wrote a deep-dive post all about the "appearance of botting" clause. Does branrex not read MinerBumping? And it only gets worse:

Some people would have me change the Code to meet branrex's demands. "We need to broaden the tent," they say. Luckily, none of these so-called "moderates" are the Saviour of Highsec--I am. And I say, hold fast to the Code. Never let it go. Never compromise, for to compromise when it comes to the truth of the Code is to lie.

As for the tent, burn it down. Sleep under the stars, basking in the glory of creation. We can reach 100% by eradicating everyone who disagrees with us. Victory is in sight.

I believe that answers your questions, branrex.

This is why you need to be careful when you seek intel from the in-game hauler channel.

...And this is why you need to be careful when taking a jump freighter through highsec. The destruction is accelerating: The mighty CODE. alliance has terminated a few dozen jump freighters in just the past month.

More fake news from the hauler channel. Our Agents treat freighters from every alliance exactly the same: No permit, no ship. We've proven time and time again that we'll gank our allies if they disobey the Code.

If you really want to "get" me, read the Code and all the MinerBumping posts.

In case you were wondering, those are hard line breaks. It's rare to receive an EVEmail written by someone who doesn't use word-wrap. Dimenieve Maulerant continues,

I'm sorry, Dimenieve, I really want to care about your concerns, but I can't get past the formatting issue. Please fix and resubmit. Thanks.

If Vexalia Nalaar had read the Code, he'd know that a mining permit costs 10 million isk. It's true what they say: You can't cheat an honest miner.

Hey, no problem. I'm always happy to make someone's life better.

Friday, January 19, 2018

Over One Trillion Five Hundred Seventy-One Billion in Shares Sold

You can't always be in EVE, but you can always keep your presence felt in EVE by contributing to the New Order of Highsec. Our Agents are everywhere in highsec at all times. Reid Hershel purchased 315 shares, which took us past the 1,571 billion isk mark and earned him a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

Another responsible corporation, yes, but there's more to the story here. This purchase of 231 shares would've been exactly enough to earn a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™--key word, "would've"--if not for Reid getting there first. Timing is everything in the game of Supreme Protector's Tips of the Hat™.

I received the 50 million isk biscuits and credited this shareholder with additional stock. We also accept Bitcoin. (As with isk biscuits, it's one million per share).

I think we have time to take some questions.

I'll take the second part first for some reason. Look through some MinerBumping posts and you'll see a template in someone's bio.

As for the shares, you are correct--they're virtual virtual. The New Order's stock program transcends the EVE game mechanics, with their fiat shares and CCP middlemen.


Have you ever wondered how kill rights work? Carebears are always using them incorrectly, so I thought I'd let an Agent demonstrate how it's done.

Riumo Tekitsu was excited when he saw Agent Bob Pointer hanging around in a Venture. There was a kill right available on Bob, so Riumo went on the attack with his drones (so much for Mackinaws being ships that can't shoot back!). However, Riumo completely forgot to actually activate the kill right. So the miner got himself CONCORDed.

Now, because of the foiled gank attempt on Bob, Bob had a kill right on Riumo. A few days later, Riumo was AFK mining in the same system. Bob activated the kill right (such an important step!) and killed the miner.

Remember when the carebears thought kill rights would put an end to bumping and/or ganking? Remember how the safety button was supposed to protect carebears from CONCORDing themselves? There's no substitute for the wisdom of the Code.


Well done, Agent Eva Mavas. As I've said before, the Code has been responsible for creating far more content in EVE over the past several years than all of the CCP devs combined. Granted, there aren't as many CCP devs as there used to be, but it's still really impressive.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

The Orcas of Nakugard, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... The Nakugard system was rocked by a series of Orca explosions, courtesy of Agent Alt 00. Our heroine's gank fleet was able to chase a Russian mining corporation out of the system, but the local bots proved to be more stubborn. How many would need to die before they got the message?

Serg Lion had been the first Orca bot to experience the wrath of Alt's Taloses. In addition, Alt's smartbombing cruiser destroyed Serg's implants. The miner was podded right out of the system.

...But four hours later, Serg returned to the very same asteroid belt in a brand new Orca. What a Goofus! The new Orca's fit was almost identical; a slight improvement to the shield tank was the only evidence that Serg had noticed a problem with his operation. Importantly, Serg still lacked a mining permit. So Alt killed the new Orca.

Bots are good for one thing, at least--they make pretty explosions when they die.

Alt 00 proudly announced the destruction of the fourth mining Orca in just a few hours. Interestingly, she seemed to be winning over some of the locals.

...Khelty Zaph was not one of them. Serg Lion himself remained silent, as is typical of a miner-bot. But you can always count on a rebel carebear like Khelty to side with bots.

Bot-aspirants are bot sympathizers, too. When bots die, the bot-aspirant miners know they could be next, since there's so little difference between the two groups.

The miners of Nakugard had watched as Alt 00 repeatedly dropped Talos fleets on any miner she didn't like. The carebears knew that they were completely at the mercy of the New Order Agent. They could no longer pretend otherwise.

Khelty struggled to explain why she was speaking in defense of a credibly accused botter. When Alt 00 spoke my name, the miner fell silent.

Just then, another mouthy miner spoke up. She identified herself as a member of the resistance.

EDISON CLONE attempted to provide an intel report to the miners. It was about as useful as you'd expect from "miner intelligence".

In any event, it wasn't like Alt 00 was trying to be subtle. Her Orca ganks were quite a spectacle, to say the least.

More Nakugard locals sided with the winning team. The death of Serg Lion's second Orca seemed to be the tipping point. The rebel miners evacuated, fleeing for their lives. Nakugard was at peace.

But... for how long?

To be continued...