Monday, April 6, 2020

The Best Revenge, Part 54

Previously, on MinerBumping... An earth-shaking development was in the works: aiva naali aka FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years was, for the moment, a Covetor-less miner who lived in highsec asteroid belts. But if his plan to construct a nullsec internet came to fruition, his power would exceed that of The Mittani himself.


According to aiva's estimates, the nullsec trading network/internet was 76% complete. The final 24% of the project was the most critical.


Despite the awesome power it promised, aiva's network didn't capture the imagination of everyone on his council. They were more interested in getting the isk that aiva already had in his wallet.


In addition to funding a titan and/or Nyx flagship, aiva's money went toward the purchase of director roles in Goonswarm Federation. The alliance had nearly 30,000 members, so it wasn't as though director roles could be given away for cheap.


aiva was caught in a dilemma. aiva needed money to fund his network. After the network was complete, he would have infinite money and power. But aiva's council wanted the money now.


On rare occasions, aiva felt constrained by his leadership position in the Imperium. If only they had his vision.


Although aiva had impressive market manipulation skills, he couldn't find a way to make the numbers add up. Curse the Imperium and its impatience!


aiva could think of other ways of making isk--but only as a last resort.


At this point, aiva grew cryptic. He hinted that he might subject himself to unorthodox experiments in some sort of Frankenstein-like laboratory. But he would elaborate no further.


As aiva considered his next move, his spelling deteriorated, further obfuscating his plans.


After thinking it over, aiva transferred his assets to Donatien Alphonse Francois. With any luck, Donatien and his investment team would be able to multiply the isk. As for aiva, he was running on fumes. For now, he would only be able to mine with ships that Alpha accounts are permitted to use.


aiva's strained financial situation never stopped him from theorycrafting, though.


It was time to take EVE spaceship combat to the next level: the third dimension.

To be continued...

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Kills of the Week

We all know that highsec carebears hate to lose their stuff. From their point of view, EVE is a game about grinding isk while AFK. Their point of view is wrong. And the most effective way to teach a carebear about the importance of PvP is to PvP him. Here are some fine examples of that, from the week of March 29th @ 00:00 EVEtime through April 4th @ 23:59 EVEtime...



ORE cargo expanders and the Niarja system are a bad mix. Rick Oshea autopiloted 14.6 billion isk into a notorious freighter-ganking system and ran head first into the Rackner family: Agents eviserater Adoudel, Ashlee Rackner, Georgia Rackner, Yan Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Jemma Rackner, Emily Rackner, Zoe Rackner, Globby Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Jani Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, Charlotte Rackner, Adara Gaea, Ivy Rackner, Olivia Rackner, Phoenix rackner, Benji Rackner, hegils, and Vladimir Puotin. Their Catalysts descended upon the freighter. The Rackners don't take prisoners, but they do take plenty of loot.



Oh, a jump freighter pilot lost over 150 billion isk in Jita? You don't say. GoonsSwarm 1DQCYNO must have been terribly surprised that ganking goes on in Jita. But it does, and for good reason: Carebears have been consistently failing to pay their taxes. Imagine how much this carebear would've saved, had he complied with the Code! Agents Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Kittens, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Richard, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector AynRand, Tax Collector Hill, Mining Lord 1999, and Dr Hattrick sent in their Taloses and got the job done.


The cargo was an Alliance Tournament ship valued by zKillboard at 150 billion isk, though it may have been worth even more. It's ganks like these that make the mighty CODE. alliance the winningest competitors in the history of the AT.



It wasn't enough for MADLAXX to throw a Marshal into the jaws of Uedama; she had to lose a fail-fit Marshal. Look at that fit. And can you believe she didn't have a mining permit? Agents Tax Collector hahaGetDunkd, Tax Collector ImTheBest, Tax Collector Rika, Tax Collector Shredlord, Tax Collector YouGonnaCry, Tax Collector Maximus, Tax Collector Markus, Tax Collector GimmeYaISK, Tax Collector GetWrecked, Tax Collector Coronalmao, Tax Collector NeverLoses, Australian Excellence, and I eat RedCrayons happily removed this debris from the system.



No, Samuel Goldblum, even The Bleak Lands region is not a safe place to use ORE Strip Miners. Every system in highsec belongs to the New Order, and every system (even the weird ones) is patrolled by our Agents. Samuel and his contraband were suitably dealt with by Agents Fara Cavin-Guang, Chris Vallantine, Rasputin Kian, and Remis Res.



Agittain Arnolles made the grave error of putting all of his faith in bling. His Vindicator was worth 4.9 billion isk, not counting the two Abyssal mods that zKillboard didn't appraise. The combined weight of the Kusions and Tax Collectors ground this ship into dust: Agents Jason Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Linus Pauling, Joel Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jackson Kusion, James Prescott Joule, Justin Kusion, Amandus Olson, Tax Collector GetWrecked, Tax Collector IsNumber1, Tim Berners Lee, Tax Collector Coronalmao, Tax Collector ImMegaRich, Tax Collector Herbert, Wolfgang Ernest Pauli, Werner Karl Heisenberg, Tax Collector hahaYourebad, Tax Collector NeverLoses, Tax Collector YoureTrash, Edwin Powell Hubble, Louis de Broglie, Tax Collector GoPlayWoWkid, Erwin Shreodinger, Helen Mary Leese, Tax Collector Kelly, Australian Excellence, DaergaarTWO, and Caution AsianDrivers Ahead. You can debate whether this was overkill, but there's no doubt that Agittain was destined to be killed, one way or another.



Whoops! Agittain Arnolles still had another 4.5 billion isk to lose. Agent Australian Excellence smartbombed the carebear's pod. Unsurprisingly, Agittain had placed his faith in blingy implants, too.


Carebears, bring your bling. Our Agents will bring their Code. And we'll see who wins.

Spoiler alert: The Code always wins. Always!

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Family Feud, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... HoodHe was ganked by Agent Ebb Eto. In response, the miner made death threats against Ebb and his family. But the more threats HoodHe made, the more ships he lost.


HoodHe began to consider the possibility that making real-life death threats wouldn't keep his mining ships safe. He would need to negotiate with Agent Ebb.


At first, HoodHe seemed interested in purchasing a mining permit. But Ebb wasn't fooled; the wily miner would probably ask for the locations of Ebb's family members next.


Our Agent found HoodHe difficult to pin down. The miner preferred to approach every problem from the most indirect angle possible.


Moreover, HoodHe was fixated on Ebb and his personal life. He showed no such interest in the Code--despite its paramount importance.


Suddenly, Ebb turned the tables.


Busted! This is why the trickier miners always offer to pay for funerals in PLEX.


As might be expected, the conversation turned to the coronavirus. Ebb knew he had to tread carefully: If the Chinese government banned HoodHe from the internet, the miner wouldn't be able purchase a permit.


Most rebellious miners are angry. HoodHe was no exception. Perhaps if Ebb established a rapport with the miner, HoodHe would open up and buy a permit.


Time and again, our Agent reached out. HoodHe wasn't easily reached, though.


HoodHe kept his guard up. He continually surrounded himself with walls. Even so, our Agents aren't known for giving up. Their mission is to save highsec, after all.


And before long, Ebb would find the truth behind everything.

To be continued...

Friday, April 3, 2020

Family Feud, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Ebb Eto was just doing his job when he ganked unlicensed Venture pilot HoodHe. But that didn't stop the miner from placing a curse on Ebb and his entire family--wishing a painful death upon them all.


Because HoodHe had blocked Agent Ebb, the only way they could communicate was through Archie Audene, an impartial mediator. "Communicate" might be overstating it, though.


The possibility of reimbursement isk floated in the ether. Unfortunately, HoodHe was too angry at Ebb to unblock him and discuss terms. But then, the next day, there was a breakthrough:


Said breakthrough came in the form of another gank. Our Agent caught HoodHe mining in the very same asteroid belt as before.


When HoodHe returned to his keyboard and discovered that he had lost another Venture, he finally realized that his problem with Ebb wasn't going away. So the miner unblocked Ebb and resumed talks.


Still unwilling to purchase a mining permit, HoodHe chose instead to threaten Ebb's family. Because Ebb had chosen to gank his Venture, Ebb's entire family was as good as dead.


It was a terrible price to pay for a 605,000 isk mining frigate. HoodHe didn't mess around.


Over time, HoodHe grew more defiant. But, in fact, the miner's curses were no defense against the Code.


HoodHe made another terrible mistake: He revealed that he was back in the exact same asteroid belt.


A few hours later, Agent Ebb's patrol circled back to the Isanamo system. Sure enough, HoodHe wound up losing yet another Venture in the same spot.


HoodHe was truly a creature of habit. This time, however, he was willing to do something he had never done before.


The miner chose to strike up a conversation with Ebb in local chat.

To be continued...

Thursday, April 2, 2020

Family Feud, Part 1

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to HoodHe.


As you've probably guessed, HoodHe is a highsec miner. But what did he lose to inspire such anger against the Agent who had ganked him?


Just a Venture. One can only imagine his reaction if he'd lost a Retriever.


HoodHe also lost a cheap pod. I don't normally recommend Social implants, but as you will see, this miner could use the help.


Despite being told about the wonders of the Code, the miner held a grudge against Agent Ebb Eto and his entire family.


Ebb tried to explain that the mighty CODE. alliance was too powerful to be opposed successfully, but still the miner resisted. HoodHe flat-out refused to buy a mining permit.


After casting a few spells, HoodHe blocked Ebb Eto and ceased to communicate any further.


Luckily, an impartial observer volunteered to serve as a mediator:


Archie Audene was confident that HoodHe's one-sided blood feud with Ebb Eto could be resolved. But HoodHe would first need to reopen the lines of communication.


The miner warmed to Archie's idea.


At first, HoodHe was hesitant about resuming his correspondence with Agent Ebb. After all, they hadn't parted on the best of terms. Still, the miner was tempted by the prospect of reimbursement isk.


But if HoodHe and Ebb Eto were going to become friends, it would be a slow and potentially painful process.

To be continued...