Monday, July 25, 2016

The Birth of Civilization, Part 1

EVE players from all walks of life look upon the achievements of the New Order and marvel. Before the New Order, everyone considered the idea of changing highsec to be absurd, an impossibility. Now they know better. But they still yearn for a better understanding of how such change occurs.

Consider the Abudban system. It suffers from the presence of ice and its close proximity to the Rens trade hub. Abudban's cruel geography seems to guarantee that its inhabitants will fall under the influence of bot-aspirant culture and all the ills that come with it. Only an Agent of remarkable integrity and fortitude could ever hope to plant the seeds of civilization there.

Luckily, the New Order is home to such Agents. Known best for his victories in the vicinity of Gamis, Kalorned decided to take a trip to Abudban. The things he saw and experienced there will be the subject of this series. Given the historic nature of this mission, Kalorned saw fit to give the readers of MinerBumping an unprecedented look into the mind of an Agent. From time to time, we'll read his own thoughts, in italics, as he wrote them in his journal.

Inspired by recent stories on concerning Vrix Nation and their search for intelligence in highsec, I got the idea of engaging in a safari of my own. I'm not sure there was anything in particular I was searching for. I more felt that I needed to just be--amongst the miners, to interpret their thoughts and actions towards a vague and mysterious understanding on my part.

It didn't take long for Kalorned to make first contact with the miners. No thanks to them, of course; they remained silent even after he greeted them in local. Fortunately, Kalorned was traveling along with his merry band of gank alts. A halfheartedly tanked Mackinaw was the first to die.
Remyo > Fuck you Kalorned
Remyo > I was not AFK and you know it well
Kalorned > Why didn't you respond to me in local then?
Kalorned > The Code states that miners must acknowledge agents in local
Kalorned >
Remyo > Right. But now I know you are an asshatter
Remyo > Blocking you now
I was simply reciting the law to him and yet I was called an "asshatter". It's an interesting term, combining a derogatory "ass" with "hatter", a partial break-off of the descriptive term "mad-hatter" which is used to insinuate that someone is crazy. I suppose this must've been a fancy way of saying that I'm a crazy ass. Interesting.
Azure Momaki > Kalorned But you're not one of his agents. You clearly said earlier that you're not afiiliated with CODE.
Azure Momaki > Kalorned > technically im not code
Azure Momaki > So, you didn't have you respond
Kalorned > I'm not CODE, I am a New Order of High Sec agent however
I'm always impressed that CODE. has been so successful it often outgrows its position as just one branch of The New Order of Highsec. Often times the miners think that CODE. is the only entity that exists. It's tiring having to re-explain the greater structure, and I often feel it falls on deaf ears not interested in listening. I persevere, though, and remind them nonetheless; such is my responsibility.
Remyo > Besides, Kalorned knows very well I am helping in Rookie Help and talkig there, not in Local
Remyo > So that attack was more personal nature than "code roleplay"
Shaun Thiesant > sounds like it
Remyo > Code does not like me helping noob avoid their ganks
Remyo > Simple as that
For some reason, Remyo assumed that Kalorned was familiar with his work in the Rookie Help channel. If Remyo really was busy helping newbies avoid ganks, he was obviously a bad role model. Would you take gank-avoidance lessons from a guy who was ganked in a yield-fit Mackinaw?
Kalorned > Stop being sore losers friends
Kalorned > You've all lost at elite PVP tonight, it's ok
Kalorned > I'm an agent, I always win
Kalorned > No need to be mad that you lose to me
Shaun Thiesant > Oh I am not mad
Azure Momaki > Neither am I
Why do the miners always complicate things? We have a law, they broke the law, they were caught and subsequently punished. It can't be that hard to fathom, can it? The locals asserted that they weren't mad, either--a sure sign of being mad. I needed to try and calm the situation. Maybe I introduced myself wrong?
Remyo > Kalorned merely showed his true colours
Remyo > He is Code
Shaun Thiesant > In the grand scheme of things, all you did was kill a pixelated ship homie
Shaun Thiesant > go be a real boy and get outta your mommy's basement
Kalorned > And also made high sec better
Remyo concluded that Kalorned's true allegiance was to the Code. A little time spent on MinerBumping could've taught him that lesson--and for less than 238 million isk.
Shaun Thiesant > sure
Shaun Thiesant > fuck stick
Azure Momaki > Don't step too high on your kiddie stool.
Shaun Thiesant > or would you prefer shit bag?
The Abudban miners were an unruly bunch. Their mood didn't improve after having witnessed a Code enforcement Agent kill one of their brothers. The shooting was entirely justified, but they didn't see it that way. They were close to rioting.
Kalorned > I personally prefer Mr. K
Kalorned > That was a good name a miner gave me one time
Shaun Thiesant > k regurgitated cum bubble
Outy > wow
Shaun Thiesant > if he wants grief, feed him grief
Local was only getting more agitated. I tried relating to them with a name given to me by one of their own, but the tactic hadn't yet borne any fruit. Perhaps I could just make an earnest and naked plea for peace.
Kalorned > I only want peace and harmony in High Sec
Kalorned > If only every miner would see the benefit of an orderly, compliant high sec
Azure Momaki > Oh, yeah Daddy., Work the shaft.
Azure Momaki > You gotta suck a little harder for us to have peace and harmony
Shaun Thiesant > yeah orderly and words hurt with safe spaces bullshit
Shaun Thiesant > fucking millenials
Years of bot-aspirancy and a rampant neglect of highsec's law had resulted in the deterioration of the very fabric of Abudban society. Most people would look at the situation and call it hopeless. The world had given up on these miners. Would Kalorned abandon them, too?

To be continued...

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Kills of the Week

Every time you undock from a station, you need to have a plan. Everyone knows this. But it's not enough to have a plan--you need to have the right plan. The world is filled with bad plans: "I'm going to set fire to an orphanage," or "I'm going to engage in ethnic cleansing," or "I'm going to mine in highsec without a permit." There's only one good plan for when you're out there in highsec, and it's the same plan for everybody: The Code.

Now let's find out what happened to some people who deviated from that plan during the week of July 17th @ 00:00 EVEtime through July 23rd @ 23:59 EVEtime.

Our Agents are hunting down ORE Strip Miners like they're the last samples of smallpox. arcticwarrior had a Hulk--can you believe it?--with three ORE Strip Miners. Naturally, the miner kept the mids empty instead of fitting even the slightest bit of tank. Agents Hulk Poddington, Mack Poddington, Lawrence Lawton, and James Poddington scratched three more ORE Strip Miners off the list.

When CCP created the Bowhead, carebears across highsec celebrated. They thought it would save them from suffering expensive freighter killmails. But PowrTripp proved once again that you can't patch stupid. He managed to lose 7.2 billion isk with his anti-tanked Bowhead. Agents Jackson Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Joel Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, and Justin Kusion surprised him with a fleet of stealth bombers and let their torpedoes fly.

Carebears often ask, "How should I fit my ship? How can I guarantee that I'm in compliance with the Code?" If common sense isn't enough, here's a helpful tip, one which Henry DePour could've used: If you see purple, you've done something wrong. Agents Jake Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joshua Kusion, and Jason Kusion destroyed a 4.8 billion isk Nightmare with an officer module in the lows. Next time, instead of spending 2.1 billion isk on Raysere's Modified Power Diagnostic System, try spending 10 million isk on James 315's Code.

Last week, Kalya Aakiwa traveled to Hek in a stabbed Buzzard. At a certain point, she became complacent and decided to go AFK. Her cloaking device became of little use. Agent Winnie Po0h had no difficultly inflicting a 1.1 billion isk loss on Kalya. Her flimsy covops was carrying 5 Skill Extractors. I guess she had no skill left after that.

1 Goblin's disastrous 17.5 billion isk freighter loss proved an important point: There's no such thing as partial compliance with the Code. You either obey it, or you don't. Goblin couldn't decide whether to go with tank, anti-tank, or speed, so he went with all three. He got nothing but regret. Agents Darnoth, Yojiro, Jack Fizzleblade, BAE B PEW, BAE B BLUE, Ayatola Whoami, Perlo Tissant, Shazna Solta, Lego Edd, Nullus Modus, Miros Homar, Jet Set Milly, Austrene Jakuard, Hermann Fizzleblade, Archibald Fizzleblade, Franz Fizzleblade, Grant Bant, Samsa, Pure Whyte, Collateralized Contracts, Gea Stormbound, Blasty McVoidFace, Urban Worrier, and Meros Fera landed on the freighter and tore it to pieces.

kernel64 provided the occasion for the Podkill of the Week. Alt Proxy was the lucky Agent this time. Incredibly, kernel64 was mining with a Retriever in Hek at the time. He's a 2008 character, so you would think he'd know better.

kernel64 was using expensive gunnery implants, but had a ship with no guns--only mining lasers. And he had a Slave set for tank, but his ship was untanked. Ah, carebears and their contradictions.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

It's Easy As ABC

Here we go again...

...but with a twist. You'll note that the sender of this message was not the Saviour of Highsec, but an Agent of the New Order.

Lawrence Lawton has pledged to enforce the Code in highsec by any means necessary. Wardecs continue to be one of the tools at our disposal--despite all the efforts of the carebears to remove wardecs from the game.

Agent Lawrence received a disturbing report about Code violations being conducted by members of ABC Mining corp. Rather than requesting the expulsion of one of the corp's members, Lawrence demanded total compliance.

CEO Captin Petra adamantly refused. She'd pay the 120 million isk fine and add a declaration of support to her corp description, but drew the line at altering any of her characters' bios.

No deal. The highsec of the future is built upon Code compliance, not Code compromise. There's no negotiating with bot-aspirancy.

Agent Lawrence made his demands as unambiguous as possible.

Captin Petra must've gone pale when she read this EVEmail. The next time both Petra and Lawrence were online, Petra requested a private convo.

Our Agents are tough, but fair--and helpful. Lawrence taught Captin Petra how to change her corp description. When CCP fails to teach the miners, the New Order steps in.

Captin Petra wasn't wild about changing all of her character bios. And she certainly wasn't excited about being told what ships she was allowed to fly. But as long as Lawrence had a good reason for it, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

Amusingly, all of the references to "Gallants" led Captin Petra to ask if CODE. is only active in Gallente space.

The story had a happy ending. The CODE always wins. Always.

Agent Lawrence and the CEO of ABC Mining were able to come together and find a way that both parties could be satisfied. Which is to say, Captin Petra agreed to do everything Lawrence told her.

I noticed that the text in Captin's bio was a bit on the small side. I'd hate to see her lose some mining ships because our Agents couldn't read it, but if that happens, she can always increase the text size and apologize to the ganker.

The rebels and skeptics call us griefers. Nothing could be further from the truth. We're peacemakers and peacekeepers. A little compliance today will save a miner from a lot of grief tomorrow.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Forever and Ever and Ever and Ever

The immensely popular "The Code Is Forever" series has been running for a long time now. With so many episodes being released over such a length of time, there have been countless opportunities for constructive criticism of the series. And yet, the only criticism I've yet seen: People want more of it.

The New Order Gamis Affiliates aim to please.

As always, there's plenty of bumping...

...and ganking.

YouTube: The Code Is Forever #27

You can see more from the New Order Gamis Affiliates and all of our other artists and videographers on our Links page.

Over One Trillion Forty Billion in Shares Sold

I'd like to briefly mention two different qualities which are primarily associated with the New Order, as opposed to other organizations.

The first one is loyalty. No further explanation necessary.

The second, persistence, is also a distinctly New Order trait. Myevil Gankalt pursued her dream of being awarded a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. She never gave up. This week, her purchase of 100 additional shares resulted in our passing the 1 trillion 40 billion isk milestone. Myevil Gankalt hereby receives a Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. It was her time. It's really that simple.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

A Nice Talk About the Code

It is perhaps the case that no one else in all of EVE receives more personal correspondence than I do. Hey, I'm the Saviour of Highsec--it goes with the job. Also, relevance!

A not-insignificant portion of that mail concerns the Code. There are basically three kinds of EVEmails that I get about the Code. The good, the bad, and...

Ah, yes. The weird kind.

Nearly a year ago, Mesaron Missilemaster sent me a lengthy EVEmail with several questions about the nature of the Code. Whenever conveniently practical, I answer such questions. It looks like Mr. Missilemaster has concluded the preamble to his message, so let's get to work!

So far, so good. No questions have been asked yet, but quoting the Code and responding "it's true" is a good way to start.

This is where things begin to fall apart. Mesaron Missilemaster expects miners to behave like spoiled children. As apt as the comparison may be, we require more from our miners. They're playing a spaceship-shooting game and have no right to misbehave simply because their spaceship was shot. Players type "gg" immediately after a round of an FPS game ends. We don't expect them to rant and rave like madmen if they're on the losing team. We don't expect them to take a day or two to cool off before they can say "gg".

I fundamentally disagree with those who, like Mr. Missilemaster, urge patience. We can't wait for generations of slow, gradual change. Highsec has already waited far too long. The fierce urgency of now dictates that the time for Code compliance is already upon us.

It's a myth that highsec mining is a necessary evil. All the ore we need can be acquired from miners operating outside of highsec. We can also draw upon materials from NPC drops and the wrecks of the countless player-owned ships that have already been built.

Just mining in highsec. I've never met a nullsec miner who begs CCP for nerfs to highsec PvP.

Miner ganking teaches miners important lessons that go beyond learning about miner gankers. It teaches miners about the essence of EVE itself. For example, the adage, "Don't fly what you can't afford to lose." This is as applicable--or more so--to those engaged in lowsec combat. I could go on in this vein, but I think you get the idea.

I'll add that the whole concept of "If gankers didn't gank..." approaches things from the wrong direction. Gankers have more right to gank than miners have to mine. EVE is a PvP game; without PvP, there would be no content and no purpose for the game to exist.

Actually, as we've seen, highsec miners are unnecessary. As such, they aren't comparable to the builders, weavers, farmers, etc. However, highsec miners do serve a function (only) insofar as they provide an opportunity for PvP'ers to generate content by attacking them. Ironically, the carebears beg CCP to stop the very people who make their existence worthwhile. This is why they are called Goofuses.

Mesaron Missilemaster, I sincerely hope today's post answered your questions and enriched your understanding of the Code. I know it was worth the wait. If you're still playing EVE, I hope you'll write again.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

A Fateful Encounter in Poinen

The battle for hearts and minds rages in highsec. And nowhere is the battle hotter than in the local channels of random highsec systems. Once virtually silent outside of the trade hubs, highsec local channels are now a place where players' fates and destinies can be decided forever--all in a matter of minutes.

Agents of the New Order feature prominently in local chat. This is only fitting, since it is the Agents who breathed life into highsec local channels for the first time in EVE history. But carebears also lurk there.

After winning an argument against carebear Tawny Fraeyr, Agent Lament von Gankenheim continued to go about his business in the Poinen system. Then a random player wandered into the system and typed a greeting in local. What sort of player was this? Lament was ready for anything.

Senior Coconut was a clueless newbie. His character had been rolled less than an hour earlier. All he knew how to do was go to a system and type in local. He was completely at the mercy of whatever players might happen to see his message.

Thank goodness an Agent of the New Order was there.

Senior Coconut was somewhat taken aback by Lament, who challenged every preconceived notion the newbie had about EVE.

Senior Coconut had been well on his way to a disastrous and unsatisfying EVE experience. He seemed destined for an early account cancellation. Then Lament von Gankenheim walked into his life.

Nothing could be taken for granted; this newbie was a blank slate. Lament took it upon himself to write a new destiny for Senior Coconut.

Slowly but surely, our Agent guided the new player away from the abyss.

A close call: The anti-Code carebear from earlier popped her head into local. Imagine if it had been she, and not our Agent, who had made first contact with Senior Coconut?

Tawny wanted to poison the newbie's mind. Agents Lament and Ralliana fought back. They would not allow Senior Coconut to be carried away like a lamb led to the slaughter.

If Tawny had gotten to Senior Coconut first, he might've become a highsec miner. Now he had a fighting chance.

The newbie could only watch the argument unfold. He still needed help. Who would be the one to offer it to him? The Agent or the carebear? Hint: It wouldn't be the carebear. Tawny was too busy nursing her grudge against CODE. to give any thought to aiding Senior Coconut.

Lament wrapped up things up by winning the argument against Tawny and her philosophy of bot-aspirancy. Now he was free to throw a lifeline to the newbie.

Our Agent helped Senior Coconut dodge another bullet by warning him away from random "newbie friendly" highsec corps. Lament showed him that there was another way.

And so it was that a new player joined faction warfare instead of resigning himself to a life of bot-aspirant drudgery. Senior Coconut's entire future changed in an instant, his dismal fate replaced by brilliant possibilities. This, too, is the power of the Code.