Wednesday, June 24, 2020



Today is June 24th, the most important day of the EVE calendar: Code Day. On Code Day, we celebrate the birth of the Code, which was first published eight years ago on a fateful EVE forum thread, all the way back on June 24, 2012. Since then, every June 24th has been a day of great celebration--even over and above the regular celebrations of the New Order's daily victories. And it is a day of thoughtful reflection and remembrance.

I share it with you again today, dear reader.


EVE's history divides neatly into two eras: The pre-Code era (i.e., the time during which all EVE awaited the Code's arrival) and the Code era (i.e., the good part). In a sense, every day is Code Day, but the 24th of June is especially Code Day. It's a great time to think about how awesome the Code is and how lucky we all are to be experiencing it.

- The Seventh Anniversary of the Code


But this particular Code Day, though it draws upon the power of all of the previous Code Days, is different, and special--as we shall see. As the Code era dawned, I projected that the New Order's war to conquer highsec would take approximately eight years. From time to time over the years, I have considered the state of highsec in light of that projection, and each time I have been startled by its accuracy--always right on target. Now, after the completion of the eight years, it is clear that the prediction couldn't have been more prescient.

We have indeed been victorious. We have overcome ever obstacle, whether from a CCP developer or a misguided rebel "leader". Highsec is conquered. The carebears have been cowed and forced into compliance. And although there are naturally intermittent pockets of resistance--bot-aspirants who act out of desperation more than any hope of ridding EVE of the Code--the conquest of our great empire consists of mopping-up operations and policing. Highsec unquestionably belongs to our Agents now.

This result, which was unthinkable to the general population at the dawn of the Code, is today accepted as obvious, inevitable.


It all started with one man bumping miners in a lonely ice field in Halaima. There were skeptics, of course. Following in the footsteps of the EVE-O moderators, a would-be assassin attempted to prevent the creation of the Order by trying to suicide gank me with a tech II fitted Tempest on the first day. My Invincible Stabber emerged unscathed. I continued to bump. Some said it was pointless, a waste of time. "As long as you're bumping me, you can't bump anyone else," they said. "You'll never make a difference." I disagreed. I felt it was the best possible way to make a difference. One man standing on principle for something he believes in--it's the only way a difference has ever been made in the world.

I was right.

- The First Anniversary of the Code


In order to absorb the full weight of the Code's achievement--to appreciate its full power--one must consider the state of EVE when the Code first arrived. In the halls of CCP HQ and in the private chats of CSM members, carebearism and theme parkism was all the rage. None doubted for a moment that EVE could ascend to new heights and attract the subscription fees of millions of new players, if only highsec were a kinder, gentler place. If only... If only EVE weren't EVE anymore.

They lied.


At the time of the drafting of the Code, there were still more nerf "expansions" to come. Despite having already rolled out the summer 2012 expansion (a nerf to wardecs), August saw an "emergency" expansion to massively buff the EHP of mining ships and end Hulkageddon Infinity. For the next expansion, scheduled for December 2012, CCP planned to nerf can-flipping and aggression baiting. Not exactly the stuff of which video game legends are made.

And yet, almost entirely hidden beneath the thick darkness, there was a point of light. In spite of everything, in defiance of the vast, surrounding blackness, it still shone. It represented hope, the possibility that the spirit of EVE was alive, somewhere.

Obviously I'm referring to myself.

- The Second Anniversary of the Code


MinerBumping very quickly became a necessary companion to the Code and to the Order it inspired. The concept behind MinerBumping was actually quite simple. In a game known for lies, treachery, and deceit, I chose to do something radical: I told people the truth. This proved to be highly controversial.

They told you that EVE could be improved only by removing sources of spaceship combat from a spaceship combat game.

But I told you the truth.

They told you that miners and other highsec carebears were peaceful, happy, innocent people, and that anyone who dared to shoot a spaceship in a 0.5+ security system was a despicable sociopath.

But I told you the truth.

They told you that if CCP got more revenue, the money would be spent on fixing EVE's bugs and adding new features, as opposed to it being wasted by CCP on a series of laughably flawed side projects and vaporware.

But I told you the truth.

They told you that EVE could be transformed into a theme park that could successfully compete with all of the countless other theme park games in the market, despite CCP's perpetual failure to create engaging PvE and its use of a UI team that made decisions like "every type of ship should be represented by a square bracket" and "all of our icons should be monochrome because colorblind people will like it".

But I told you the truth.

Just like the name of its author, MinerBumping became a litmus test: Good people instinctively liked it, and bad people recoiled from it. Which made sense, because MinerBumping told the truth. That made some people very angry, even if they couldn't quite explain why.


When carebears first learned of the Code, they assumed that it would necessarily be temporary. "They'll get bored and go away," the miners assured each other. "Someone will stop them," said the rebels. Then, as their anxieties grew to alarming levels: "CCP will get rid of them once they see that they're ruining the game."

But the Code didn't go away. The Code became a fact of highsec life.
The fact of highsec life.

- The Fifth Anniversary of the Code


Despite the anger of the anti-Code, anti-truth faction of EVE, the New Order only grew stronger and more powerful; MinerBumping became more widely read and influential. At its core, the war for highsec was a war of ideas. In this war, our enemies were unarmed and seemed to have little interest in arming themselves. They moaned and whined and begged CCP to help them. But CCP couldn't fix its own game; how could it fix carebears? How could anyone even begin to work on solving the myriad problems of the bot-aspirant mind and personality?

Ironically enough, the only thing that could save all those anti-Code Goofuses was the Code itself.


When a newbie goes to a forum and asks for advice on mining in highsec, what do people say to him? "Tank up your ship," they say. They caution, "Whatever you do, don't mine AFK." And, "Use your D-scanner. Watch local." Buried beneath the downvotes, more sage advice: "Buy a permit." Ah, but what the rebels and skeptics on Reddit and elsewhere don't realize is, buying a permit is only one provision of the Code. The rest of it? Exactly the things they told the miner to do. They were instructing the miner to obey the Code, and they didn't even know it! That's how much we've changed the culture, how deeply the Code's roots are planted.

- The Fourth Anniversary of the Code


Despite the righteousness of our cause--or because of it, I should say--many tried to stop us. All of them failed. To be sure, most of the rebels were very lazy about it. And they spent the vast majority of their time sniping at one another and engaging in self-destructive behaviors. But they did try, so their attempts--feeble as they were--must be condemned as failures. Their motives were ignoble, too, so they do not even get credit for making an effort.

There was a bright side to their opposition, though: It attracted the attention of good people who then invariably joined our cause. Countless EVE players wandered into a system, witnessed the outpourings of a whiny miner in local, and stuck around to investigate what was going on. They discovered the Code. They observed its supporters and its opponents. And they came to the conclusion that yes, it was in fact a very good thing that the miner had been ganked.

As a consequence, more good things happened in highsec.


The Agents of the New Order are truly the center of the EVE galaxy. No other group affects so many players or to such a great extent. No one else in EVE is talked about, written about, raged about, or applauded as much as we are. Most players are in highsec, and we command highsec. For the vast majority of EVE players today, the New Order is the only group that occupies their thoughts. They must adapt themselves to us, and our Code--or they must die. And they know it. Or, again, they die.

- The Third Anniversary of the Code


So it was that the Code won. We won everything: We won the in-game fights by prevailing in spaceship combat. We won the meta-game fights by adapting to every change that CCP made to try to save the carebears from themselves. We won the battle of ideas which, being frank, proved to be a rather one-sided affair. Our philosophy and our culture triumphed.

We also won the battle of history.


For all time, EVE will be remembered as the place where it all started. We are, in a word, the game's legacy. Thus, we can tie it all together by saying that the New Halaima Code of Conduct is EVE's Legacy Code. No pun intended.

Now, some people would tell you that legacy code is a bad thing. It's the thing that developers wish they could get rid of so they could update the program with wonderful new features. But in this case, the Legacy Code--the New Order, its Agents, all of it--is the only thing worth keeping. We're the indispensable element of EVE. We keep the game firmly planted in its roots, and thank goodness.

- The Sixth Anniversary of the Code


It is often said that history is written by the victors. We are the victors, so it is only fitting that we have won the battle of EVE's history. Then again, a whiny highsec miner is hardly capable of writing history; his participation is limited to having his profanity-laced tears collected and published in a coherent narrative on MinerBumping.

Regardless, the victory won over these past eight years is complete. And, therefore, the mission of MinerBumping is also complete. This is the final MinerBumping post.

Some loyal, long-time readers have known this was coming. Among those reading today's post are Agents who moved on from EVE many years ago; they have returned here to read what the eighth Code Day post would bring. Hello, old friends. We won.

For many others, the completion of MinerBumping comes as something of a shock. Gasps and double-takes were had. Eyes widened. Jaws dropped. Why? Because they have grown accustomed to a world in which the consistency of MinerBumping's daily posts over an eight-year period was like the rising of the sun each morning. Better, though.

In this moment, the reader wonders what a world without new MinerBumping posts looks like. There are the concerns of the moment: Will aiva naali ever succeed in conquering nullsec on the Imperium's behalf? And what of the crisis in Nakugard? Or even VictorStark Stark's "siege", only just recently declared by that mad miner? These MinerBumping series were still ongoing, not wrapped up in a neat little bow. And what about all of the countless other reports sent in by our Agents?

I discovered early on, in the first few weeks of MinerBumping, that there was far more material in my possession than could ever be published. If MinerBumping ran for a hundred years, I would still have folders filled with the tears of carebears and the victories of our Agents. That's how whiny the miners are--and how glorious our Agents are.

In the time that remains to us, I wish to say a few more things and answer a few more questions.

I want to thank our Agents for being glorious. That includes the elite few who have been permabanned (apparently by mistake, otherwise CCP wouldn't have left the reason blank).

In addition, I wish to acknowledge the New Order's shareholders. Thanks to their generous contributions to the cause, I was able to hand out over two trillion isk to fund suicide gankers. Some shareholders went above and beyond. Henceforth, the side panel of MinerBumping, which normally displays the month's top contributors, will list the all-time top shareholders.

I hereby give all of the shareholders--even those who own but a single share--one final Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™.

Although MinerBumping's posts have come to an end, I will continue to fund the gankers for as long as there is isk in my wallet. It is my pleasure to accept isk for that purpose indefinitely. I will also continue to hold the reins of the mighty CODE. alliance. But the truth is that Code enforcers don't need anyone to tell them what to do. They have the Code. It is written in their hearts, and they have burned its wisdom across highsec.

Which brings me to those who still have questions about a world in which there are no new MinerBumping posts. For one thing, there is great prestige to be had in going back and reading everything again from the beginning. There are over three thousand posts, all of which are worth rereading (yes, even the shareholder updates).

For another thing: MinerBumping hasn't truly ended. Like the Code itself, it is still there to be found, everywhere in highsec. Our Agents are still creating the content each and every day. Find them. Join them. Kill a miner. He deserves it. He is probably AFK. And he needs to buy a permit. They're still only 10 million isk.

Now then, dear reader. You have the Code. Go forth and use it.

...What's that?

Ah. Of course.

One last time.

The face that saved highsec.

And always will.


- 315

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

The Best Revenge, Part 77

Previously, on MinerBumping... aiva naali aka FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years aka AstevonWard OverGreer aka lil bullet aka 140 and his trusty council had an intense brainstorming session to figure out a way to defeat the Imperium's enemies. Magnets were considered.

From day to day, aiva's council never knew what idea the young genius might come up with next.

One thing about aiva was predictable, though: He was always up to something.

From time to time, aiva floated some unorthodox methods for making money. His council was more traditional: If aiva wanted to earn some cash, he should get a job delivering pizzas.

Alas, aiva couldn't turn pizzas into PLEX until he earned his driver's license. And that goal was always just out of reach.

The council was confident that aiva's supercomputer of a brain was up to the task. I mean, this was the guy who had built a nuclear reactor in his garage with a box of scraps. How difficult could a driving exam be?

As always, it came down to the Code.

It was clear that aiva had been rattled by his previous failures to pass the exam. But this time, aiva had a resource that hadn't been available to him before: An elite group of the Imperium's finest intelligence operatives. And so aiva's council embarked on their most difficult assignment yet.

Getting aiva to pass a driving exam wouldn't be easy. In real life, one cannot simply play some energetic music and run a training montage. And Mr. 140 wasn't as good a student as one might assume from his IQ.

Despite the challenges, aiva's council was determined to transform the young genius into a productive citizen who could hold down a job.

Although aiva was always one question short of passing his driving exam, that one question made all the difference in the world. The harder aiva trained, the more distant his goal seemed.

aiva grew increasingly frustrated. But his council tried to keep him motivated. The man who aspired to conquer all of nullsec was no quitter. He had pulled off countless miracles in the war against Pandemic Horde. What was one more?

aiva resisted. Getting a job and earning a living sounded like a lot of work. Was it really necessary?

But aiva's council knew that in order for aiva to realize his dream of traveling across the galaxy, he would first need to be capable of transporting a pizza across town.

Of course, aiva never did things the traditional way. He was born to blaze his own trail. No matter the cost.

To be continued...

Monday, June 22, 2020

The Best Revenge, Part 76

Previously, on MinerBumping... Betrayal! aiva naali aka FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years was horrified by the news that the existence of his ultra-classified "nullsec internet" had been leaked to some Imperium bureaucrats.

The nullsec internet wasn't the only secret that had slipped from aiva's grasp. MinerBumping had just published Part 45 of The Best Revenge series--and it identified FighterJets GuitarSolo 1000Years by name! aiva's council instructed him to go to Jita and prepare to biomass the character.

Unexpectedly, aiva had grown attached to the FJGS1KY character. But for security reasons, it had to go. Along with his trusted council members, aiva went on a goodbye tour of highsec.

Although his cover identity was burned, aiva himself was still very much alive. He simply needed to create a new character under which he could continue his operations.

aiva's council helped him pick out the name.

The transition was a difficult one. aiva struggled to make regular payments into his titan fund. From time to time, he called in sick.

As the coronavirus pandemic swept the globe, aiva's council sought aiva's advice on the matter. Perhaps they could harness aiva's supercomputer of a brain to develop a cure. Then the Imperium would have a decisive advantage over its rivals.

Initially, aiva dismissed the notion of using magnets to destroy the virus. But the more he thought about it, the more the idea intrigued him.

Unfortunately, aiva's mom said no.

Fortunately, aiva himself was likely immune to the coronavirus. It was one of his many superpowers.

Dear reader, kindly forget anything aiva might have previously said about his IQ.

People give aiva a lot of nicknames, but the rule is that any nickname must relate to some outstanding achievement of aiva's. Don't go calling him "fart face" or anything like that.

Even when aiva wasn't feeling up to a task, his council encouraged him. They were his biggest cheerleaders.

Nevertheless, in aiva's mind, the virus-killing supper magnet was dead on arrival. He was simply too polite to say it outright.

140 never surrendered; he merely switched gears. And he had an almost infinite number of gears.

To be continued...

Sunday, June 21, 2020

Kills of the Week

As we often reflect upon and appreciate, Agents of the New Order are known for many things: Courage, dignity, elite PvP skills, etc. They're also extremely compassionate people--often ridiculously so, given how little our enemies are deserving of said compassion. Yet each gank committed by a Code enforcer is an act of mercy, a mercy killing. Which is entirely appropriate for ships like these from the week of June 14th @ 00:00 EVEtime through June 20th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

ORE Strip Miners? Check. Blingy yield mods? Check. Midslots? Incomplete. Apollo Aegeus spent over 1.4 billion isk on a Mackinaw of all things, yet he couldn't even be bothered to tank up, much less buy a mining permit. Maybe he thought he was safe in Tourier, a 0.9 security system in the Verge Vendor region. Not so. Agents Fate and Destiny, Never Gonna SeeGrandKids, and Zopiclone made a routine patrol of the system and put this decadent carebear to death.

In recent months, the Bagodan system has become somewhat known for blingy ships. Whatever it was that brought WhiteMoon2 to the system, she was AFK at the time. Agents 1400mm Gallium Cannon, FleetJump Jump, Lovin Jr, Caldari Citizen 2116212079, Mr Lovin, Young Loving, and Taikao Isimazu were standing by with a group of Nagas and a Tornado, ready to blap the next blingy thing they saw.

Skarsnik was a classic example of the "I will protect my ship by spending lots of money on it" school of thought. But isk-tanking is totally contrary to the truths of the Code--and to common sense. While Skarsnik was busy dealing with a Triglavian NPC, the true masters of highsec were on their way: Agents Void Delivery Service, Seamus Scrapmagnet, Aiko Danuja, Shadow Cyrilus, Evil Marxist, Shadow Pearl, Your Amazing Buddy, Noll Kion, Alleil Pollard, Shadow Redemption, Whadda Badasaz, Shadow Fireball, Lisa Tears, and Shadow Defiance.

What's worse than a blingy Hulk without a permit? Try two blingy Hulks without a permit. In the same asteroid belt. Varstile Sinak and Warblazer Deadulus were simultaneously ganked by Agents Fate and Destiny, Never Gonna SeeGrandKids, Youthful Exuberance, and Zopiclone. I realize that bot-aspirants are known for being empty-headed, but what's with all of the empty mids lately?

As we saw earlier, NPCs have been aiding our Agents in whittling down the hitpoints of bot-aspirant carebears. EspionageX lost his Leshak partly due to NPCs, whereupon Agent Seamus Scrapmagnet finished off EspionageX's pod, which was worth 3.4 billion isk. If the carebear had been at his keyboard, he would no doubt have complained about not being warned. But in fact, he was. The whole system was...

Yes, others in the Kulelen system suffered the same fate. Less than an hour earlier, Moonbatter lost his Navy Raven thanks to a combination of NPCs and Agents. What happened next? You guessed it: Agent Seamus Scrapmagnet swooped in for a nice, fat pod gank.

Moonbatter's 3.4 billion isk pod with a Hydra set was slightly more expensive than the pod owned by EspionageX, who preferred Asklepians. But as every carebear ought to know by now, it doesn't matter what sort of implants you covet. What matters is the Code. And the Code says you're going to lose your implants. The Code's right: Don't waste your money on bling. Buy a mining permit before you undock!

Saturday, June 20, 2020

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #212

I've got good news and bad news.

The bad news is, "CCP Falcone" probably won't be able to help you. The good news is, your message will appear on today's edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

Sigh. Another petition for CCP Falcone to review.

The bot-aspirant miners of highsec would see EVE reduced to a fish tank. They are disgusting.

Freeze Shihari was reminded of the 1990s in Russia when his illegal ice-mining operation was shut down...

Ah. Now that's more like the 1990s Russia that I remember.

Some carebears wonder why we pod people. We do it for the Code. The deer, coffins, and scarecrows are just a bonus.

I won't be surprised to find a politely worded reimbursement request in my inbox later this month.

Miner, you may acquire those mining ships, but they had better stay docked up. You know what will happen.

Kill your corpmates.

"But nobody ever warned me that I might be ganked in highsec!" These miners are too AFK to notice when other whiny miners warn them in local.

But you did get to watch a show.

"Why would I obey you, if you can kill me?" These Goofuses don't even understand how government works.

This is the truth: The players we want to return to EVE are those who come back because of MinerBumping. Highsec is not a lounge for watching Netflix; it is an arena for elite PvP.