Monday, February 24, 2020

The Best Revenge, Part 42

Previously, on MinerBumping... All was well in the world of aiva naali until he encountered Ulukamuk Shimaya. The shadowy figure offered to tell aiva dark secrets--for a price.

Ulukamuk wanted half a billion isk. It was an expensive ask from a stranger, but aiva was too darned curious to pass it up.

The mysterious informant was operating with a "burner" character: Ulukamuk was newly created and would be biomassed shortly after the conversation ended.

aiva couldn't wait any longer. He handed over some assets and awaited his prize.

Ulukamuk began slowly. So far, aiva was unimpressed.

The informant found himself struggling to get his point across.

aiva didn't rattle easily. Finally, Ulukamuk produced a link to the MinerBumping series about aiva, which by that point was already on Part 19.

aiva went silent when Ulukamuk--apparently the alt of a scam victim--dropped the bombshell about the MinerBumping series. Ulukamuk claimed that aiva wasn't really involved with the Imperium at any level. Then who the heck was saluting his dolphin flag?

Now, it seemed, aiva had become convinced of his council's betrayal. His mind was focused on only one thing: Revenge.

aiva intended to plot a way to destroy those who had betrayed him. However, as we saw, after the convo ended, aiva contacted his council and confronted them with the evidence.

We now return to that conversation, already in progress.

aiva was playing a double game. No, a triple game: He presented one face to Ulukamuk, another to Agent Aiko Danuja and the council--and he planned to show yet another face to the readers of MinerBumping. But what was he really thinking? No one could say what was going on inside aiva's head.

As aiva navigated the increasingly complicated waters of espionage and spycraft, he continued to work on designs for his superweapon projects. But despite his unflappable exterior, aiva's future with the Imperium was more uncertain than ever.

To be continued...

Sunday, February 23, 2020

Kills of the Week

It has been a dark time for unlicensed carebears in highsec. By contrast, for our Agents, it has been a splendid time. There is no darkness for our Agents; their path is illuminated by the explosions of the bot-aspirants they kill--and by the ever-brilliant light of the Code. It's enough to make you wonder why anyone would choose to be an unlicensed carebear. Like these Goofuses from the week of February 16th @ 00:00 EVEtime through February 22nd @ 23:59 EVEtime...

Take a look at this ship. Jakques DeMolay actually undocked in this, thinking it was enough to protect his 6 billion isk worth of cargo. In fact, he felt so safe that he activated his autopilot and went AFK. Agents Narl' Amhar, Astrid Tyrfing, and Votre Dieu had no difficulty bringing him to justice.

Oh no, all those surveys...

There's no place in highsec for the likes of Ophir. Not while he's traipsing around in a billion isk Hulk. Agents Alyth Nerun and Ima Wreckyou only needed to use two Catalysts to undo countless hours of Ophir's highsec mining. So much for all that traipsing.

Uedama has become an exciting place, thanks to the Kusion and Tax Collector families. Nick Osada found himself at the center of excitement when his AFK freighter was attacked by more than two dozen Catalysts. Agents Jacob Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Josh Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector AynRand, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Fuemi, Joseph Kusion, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector Yuna, Joshua Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jason Kusion, Australian Excellence, and Josiah Kusion had a wonderful time teaching Nick to obey the Code.

mint 01's 4 billion isk Rattlesnake was blingy enough to attract the attention of Uedama's hosts. They had plenty of Catalysts to spare, so they tossed about 40 of them at the Rattlesnake. Well done, Agents Australian Excellence, Jake Kusion, Tax Collector Yuna, Justin Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector AynRand, Jason Kusion, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Kimi, Jackson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Tax Collector Shardani, Johnathan Kusion, Joel Kusion, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Aruka, Joshua Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Taxman Daniel, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Richard, Jonas Kusion, Jack Kusion, Tax Collector HongMei, Jeffery Kusion, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector BokChoy, Jessie Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Josiah Kusion, and Thomas the Embezzler!

Rouge Grenouille was one of the many freighter pilots who got ganked in Uedama this week. Agent Australian Excellence was able to destroy Rouge's 2.3 billion isk pod before she awakened. This, obviously, provided further evidence of the carebear's crimes. And they were serious crimes, but... Here's the thing: Rouge's pod was not the Podkill of the Week.

Agent Aaaarrgg knows what I'm talking about.

Egads! Trojan Pandora lost a jaw-dropping 9.4 billion isk worth of implants when his naked pod went AFK in Niarja of all places. As luck would have it, Agent Aaaarrgg happened to be in the Niarja system--the very same Aaaarrgg who has killed 15,000 pods on his main character alone.

According to Aaaarrgg, this is the most expensive pod he has ever destroyed. This is a message to every carebear who has a Pashan's Turret Customization Mindlink: Our Agents are looking for you, and they will find you. Don't say you weren't warned.

Saturday, February 22, 2020

Forbidden Knowledge, Part 1

Silent Company is a highsec carebear alliance with over 9,000 members. Why do so many join Silent Company? For the perks--like getting these kinds of EVEmails:

Sabus Narian considers himself an expert in EVE. And one of his fondest dreams is to help other players mine AFK in highsec.

Judging by the number of bot-aspirants dying in highsec these days, Sabus' informative EVEmails haven't quite done the trick. But he is an ambitious carebear.

Most recently, Sabus found himself at the center of controversy when he founded the "Highsec Lobby".

Most carebears lobby CCP to nerf highsec risk. This makes sense, because they desire absolute safety for their AFK isk grinding. Sabus, too, wants to skew the risk-to-reward ratio in highsec. But he's not satisfied merely by making highsec safer...

...He also wants to skew highsec risk/reward by making the rewards greater. (That's the gist of all that wallet warrior gobbledygook seen above.)

Of course, one whiny carebear rarely moves CCP. To do the job properly, many whiny carebears are required. That's where the 9,000-member carebear alliance comes in.

In order to mobilize this silent army of AFK miners, Sabus created the Highsec Lobby.

Sabus genuinely believes that highsec income should be equal to nullsec income. His grand vision is for highsec to be filled with Nyx ratting bots--all operating under a CONCORD umbrella.

Needless to say, Sabus' dream is inconsistent with the Code. But how would the mass of highsec receive Sabus' message?

The Highsec Lobby announcement was jeered in posts like this one.

Knowledgeminer suggested that if Sabus' petition for greater highsec rewards was to be granted, highsec must first achieve a higher risk level to balance it out. And the first targets should be members of Sabus' own alliance, Silent Company.

That sounds like the logic of a ganker--of an Agent of the New Order, even. Is this Knowledgeminer fellow a member of the mighty CODE. alliance?

In fact, veteran MinerBumping readers may recognize Knowledgeminer as one of the most notorious Anti-Gankers. Yet even he was disgusted by Sabus and the Highsec Lobby. But what would the rest of the Anti-Gankers think?

To be continued...

Friday, February 21, 2020

He Took the Bait

Meet Agent Amos Navin. He is a relatively new member of the mighty CODE. alliance. An idealist, he is deeply committed to the principles of the Code.

Agent Amos came across an unlicensed Retriever AFK mining in highsec. As a Code enforcer, he didn't hesitate to gank it. Why would he do otherwise?

The Retriever pilot, Theo Antollare, eventually returned to his keyboard. Amos began to provide the miner with vital information about the Code. Amos had already done this sort of thing many times before, and he expected there was a reasonable chance that he'd be able to sell Theo a permit.

...But Theo Antollare was no ordinary Retriever pilot. Our Agent was about to get more than he'd bargained for.

Theo's threat level rose exponentially: He had a PvP ship, a desire for revenge--and some allies willing to help him get it.

Despite mining in highsec with a Retriever, Theo had been playing EVE since 2014. He didn't take kindly to being ganked by someone much newer to the game.

Theo was further enraged by the Agent's attitude. It was clear that Amos wasn't the least bit intimidated by Theo's threats. It was like Amos just didn't get it about the PvP ship and friends coming to get him.

The miner (caveminer?) sought to make it clear how serious the situation was. The next six months were going to be brutally difficult for Agent Amos. Pure hell, in fact.

...So why wasn't Amos afraid? Was it because he had the Code on his side?

A massive revenge fleet was forming up. People were rallying to the cause of Theo's slain Retriever at an alarming rate.

And people say there aren't enough conflict drivers in EVE today.

Just when it seemed as though the walls were closing in on Agent Amos... Nothing happened. For some reason, the revenge fleet(s) failed to materialize, as did Theo's PvP ship. It was a miracle. How did Amos win against such incredible odds? Actually, the answer is simple:

The CODE always wins. Always!

Thursday, February 20, 2020

We Expect You to Do Better, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... An egregiously AFK Deen Ume was podded by Agent Katy Melons. Deen should've counted himself lucky and purchased a mining permit. Instead, he cried about the unfairness of the Code.

Many non-compliant miners think themselves morally superior because they're less skilled at a video game. In fact, our Agents are the good guys--a fact which greatly disturbs the carebears.

In reply to Agent Katy's well-reasoned arguments, Deen could only grumble and grouse. Deen's "tell" was prefacing his mindless comments with the word "wow".

Deen dismissed the notion that he was part of the problem in EVE. Yet the idea nagged at him.

Mining permits are not in-game items that can be purchased from the Jita market, but that doesn't diminish their impact on the game. Much of EVE can be similarly described: As far as the game mechanics are concerned, the Imperium, for example, does not exist.

The miner didn't consider pod kills to be real, either. Apparently they were worth crying about, though.

Deen continued to argue. He didn't see the wisdom in purchasing a permit. And he kinda sorta admitted to the crime of bot-aspirancy.

With each new exchange, Deen found himself boxed further into a corner. He had no excuses and nowhere to hide.

In a triumphant moment, our Agent let loose with a ringing endorsement of the Code and all good things in EVE. What sort of miner could read her words and not feel compelled to hand over 10 million isk?

In a desperate moment, Deen threw out the old "I'm a newbie and exempt from being ganked" trope. He immediately regretted it.

Flailing about, Deen suggested that his words may have been misinterpreted and his character's age may have been misleading. May have. Deen didn't even have the guts to assert his lies as facts.

With that, the miner went silent in a huff. If only he'd been courageous enough to embrace the Code. EVE is no game for Goofuses!