Sunday, June 30, 2013

Kills of the Year

You asked for it, and you got it. In our continuing celebration of the New Order's first birthday, we have a very special "Kills of the Week" post today. The following are the most expensive kills from the previous "Kills of the Week" editions in these categories: Retriever, Mackinaw, Hulk, Capsule, and Orca. Oh, and I suppose I'll toss in a few of my favorite wildcards, as well!

Here's Lord Vent's 744 million isk Mackinaw, killed by Agents Ziaeon, Lady Geesica Marstolt, and PinkOboe. The ORE Strip Miners equipped to the ship vary in price over time. At current prices the Mack would be worth over a billion isk. But flying a completely untanked mining ship (indeed, anti-tanked) never seems to go out of style with these carebears.

Next up, Quimera223's 1.6 billion isk Hulk, killed by Agent Capt Starfox. Quimera didn't bother to fit any tanking rigs to this piƱata, which also featured two empty midslots. I'm sure it was all he could do to equip one shield extender--even if it was a small.

This one will come as no surprise: Argus Krazni's now famous 2.6 billion isk Retriever, killed by Agent Sajun Benza. values the ship at 2.09 billion or 2.37 billion, depending on the market. Regardless, Argus is a legend. I'll always treasure this kill and the wonderful Code that made it possible.

Of all the Orcas we've destroyed, the most expensive belonged to Starstruck Wanderer, who lost 2.5 billion isk. Agents Capt Starfox, Dante Lobos, Ziaeon, xxBLACK SKULLxx 929, D400, Maiki Dresin, Pestario Vargas, Sir Mack Inawrex, and Agent Trask did the deed. Perhaps my favorite of the changes CCP made to the game in the last year is the addition of corporate and ship hangar data to Orca killmails. If you stuff your Orca like a pot pie, you deserve to get popped.

The priciest of the pods, worth 3.8 billion isk, belonged to Argus Tuffed, 'sploded by Agent Karbox Delacroix. I'd just like to point something out that may have gone unnoticed: The most expensive Hulk, Retriever, and Capsule kills on this list were all solo kills. One person in one ship can make a difference. This is solo PvP at its very finest.

And now for a couple wildcard categories. First, the most expensive ship kill overall:

Leticronn's Raven Navy Issue was worth 5.6 billion isk before it was converted into a killmail by Agents Arden Elenduil, Zkanu, popblues420420, Fen Haroun, Tah'ris Khlador, James Everett, Amyclas Amatin, and Perseus Parker. You could throw a few hundred pilots into a battle in nullsec and not do that much damage! Leticronn just wanted to "run some missions". Yeah, you can run missions in highsec all you like. You can run, but you can't hide, from the Code.

And finally, the most expensive non-mining mining ship:

It turns my stomach to say this, but there was a lot of competition in this category. The "winner" was Ron Krawallo's 909 million isk mining Megathron Navy Issue. Agents Ziaeon, Fawn Tailor, Dante Lobos, Lenda Shinhwa, Galaxy Pig, Selina Dyle, and Galaxy Chicken got justice for highsec by putting the creature out of its misery. I'd like to meet the rebel who can justify the existence of such a vessel, or who can honestly object to its death. It's a crime for a faction battleship to spend its days humiliated and shackled to mining lasers, and enslaved in the ore belts. Our Agents set it free.

Highsec has been improved immeasurably over the last year, thanks to the good men and women of the New Order. I wonder what kills we'll see this year?

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #34

Almost a year of MinerBumping, almost a year of Highsec Miner Grab Bags! In that time, literally thousands of miners across highsec have paid their mining fees and pledged themselves to the New Order, all of their own accord.

Troy Toralen claims that miners only join the New Order because they're "forced into it". I don't believe that for a moment. Miners who read this blog, what say you?

Sparhawk en Damastes demonstrated his inability to distinguish between a computer game (which he's bad at) and real life (which he may also be bad at). It's no surprise that so many carebears think EVE and reality are the same thing: If you mine AFK and don't play the game while at your computer, you're mixing the two, blending EVE and your real life in unhealthy ways.

The New Order is everywhere these days: On your desktop computer, your laptop, even your telephone. This also means carebear tears are available on multiple formats, including Twitter. It was nice to see Kuda Timberline hasn't forgotten the message that Agent Syds Sinclair delivered by awoxing his corp several months ago. Become an Agent of the New Order and you'll be a legend!

Despite being a member of an alliance that prides itself on projecting power into lowsec and elsewhere without taking sov, Sindel Pellion didn't understand that the New Order can rightly claim authority in highsec. Given the high quantity and low quality of its population, highsec needs government more than any other part of the EVE galaxy.

Miners like Jobobhi987 Alabel must be the unluckiest people in the world. They always "just" left their keyboards for a "few seconds" before a Knight appeared and ganked them. Kind of like how miners who get bumped out of range retreat back to the station and claim that they just finished mining for the day.

When Russian miner Orta Maleus brought up diarrhea in local, it reminded me of Google Translate telling me that Universal Scum said he was "sending rays of diarrhea".

Today's Russian EVE players make me nostalgic for the days when their never-say-die nullsec alliances inspired fear throughout the galaxy. Their highsec miners can't quite do the job.

After Agent Runeme Shilter killed Arrash's Covetor and pod, Arrash offered an illustration of what's wrong today's polarized political environment: Everyone sticks to their talking points no matter what!

John Cadenza brought up a short list of his pet peeves during a heated discussion about the New Order. Interesting, but completely off-topic. The New Order is not a cult, it is not a monarchy (it's a democracy), and we never threaten. We always make good on our promises.

A surprising number of impressionable young EVE players try to find themselves by experimenting with illegal highsec mining. This is why Agents of the New Order are such a valuable resource--they mentor new players. Agents don't lecture anyone, but they do want EVE players to recognize that as glamorous as mining without a permit may seem, there can be dangerous side effects, such as exploding.

Perennial scold Jean Pelletier groused about EVE's game mechanics and the futility of doing battle against the New Order under such unfair conditions. Rebels, wise up: Whining isn't emergent.

Some carebear CEO's flunky sent me an EVEmail informing me that Agents Capt Starfox, Ailish Liu, and John E Normus successfully destroyed their corpmate's untanked Hulk. The carebears misinterpreted the outcome of this glorious battle as somehow being a bad thing. If they want to know the reason for the attack, they should read MinerBumping more often, as I already said that their permits would be forfeited if they violated the Code. Nevertheless, all Agents should be on high alert, as the Zulu People alliance has dramatically improved its military since I made that post: Its killboard efficiency has quadrupled from 3% up to a whopping 12%.

Ever since I first put it on a Miner Bingo square, I have wondered why highsec miners try to act tough by invoking lowsec. It seems so random. Why not nullsec or wormsec?

ThexBoss questioned Agent Galaxy Pig's right to engage in emergent gameplay by killing his Hulk. This is why we fight--we fight for our rights. Bot-aspirants would gladly trample the Code if they could. As long as the New Order exists, someone will stand up to bullies who would take away our rights.

I don't know the Code by heart, but then, I don't need to. Because the Code is in my heart. I can look at any situation and know instantly what the proper response is. My Agents are the same. So far, I have never once seen an Agent do the wrong thing. Imagine how nice it would be if you worked for an organization whose members never made a mistake!

Friday, June 28, 2013

Saviour's Choice: The Top 15 MinerBumping Posts of Year One, Part 3

In celebration of the first anniversary of the New Order, we've been counting down the Top 15 MinerBumping posts. Click here for #15-#11 and here for #10-#6.

And now, the conclusion. Did your favorite MinerBumping post make the list? Find out!

#5. "Peace Negotiations"

My first job as a diplomat didn't go very well. My mission was to help Ahkala Dheorin make peace with Arctic Dungeon corp, which was prosecuting a wardec against her friends in the name of the Code. Though I wasn't able to negotiate the terms of her surrender that day, Ahkala taught me an important lesson: Even people I've never met can direct a surprising amount of venom against me, simply because they encountered Agents who did work in my name. The story had a happy ending though, because Arctic Dungeon's fine work forced their surrender.

#4. "Avenging Bumps at Fanfest"

The peace-loving, tolerant, EULA-compliant carebears of highsec just want to be left alone. They like to mine because it's relaxing. At least, that's what they claim. In reality, the carebears are the group of EVE players most prone to hostility, blind rage, and threats of out-of-game violence. No wonder they seek relaxation--they're sorely in need of it. Lucion Jaxx became the first of many carebears to share his TOS-breaking fantasies in local.

#3. "Major Miner Meltdown" (Part 1) (Part 2)

Though the miners of highsec are often dismissed as oblivious AFK'ers who have no concept of anything outside of the chunk of rock they're shooting at, they occasionally experience a "eureka" moment. When the New Order first got to work saving highsec, carebears quickly grasped the implications of having a bunch of players suddenly attacking their bot-aspirant lifestyle. They weren't happy. In this post, miners reacted to the sight of a small group of bumpers working together. They realized bumping would become a trend, and they pitched a bit of a fit about it.

#2. "The Brapelille Crusade"

It was brief, but New Order vets have fond memories of our war against the Torarjan Collective corporation. The New Order is never better than when it is standing up for the little guy in a fight against an oppressive organization that hurts new players. Professor Billions appealed to me for help when he was kicked out of his corp for putting a pledge of loyalty to me in his bio. I got in touch with the CEO of the corp, but he was dismissive. In this post, I called the New Order to action and declared a crusade against the corp, encouraging all Agents to defend the rights of men and women to follow the Code. Torarjan Collective's CEO vowed never to surrender or shed carebear tears. You know how this story ended: They shed carebear tears and then surrendered to us. Torarjan Collective disbanded and its CEO abandoned his dreams of building a giant mining corp in highsec.

And now, a drumroll if you please...

#1. "Community Outreach Recording"

Surprised? I didn't think so. The #1 post earned its spot on the countdown not so much for the tears in the post itself--which is there to provide background information--but because of the SoundCloud recording of Mine Teck that was contained therein. It became an instant classic. If you haven't listened to it yet, now you know how to spend your next 18 minutes. Mine Teck, a Danish ice miner, joined Fawn Tailor and several other Agents in a TeamSpeak channel to discuss Mine Teck's problem with the New Order. Like a good film that stands the test of time, several memorable quotes originated from that recording. If you're ever in need of a smile, listen to the recording and you'll be beaming in no time.

And that's what it's really all about, isn't it? The New Order brings joy and smiles to every good person in highsec. Here's to the New Order, and may every year be filled with as much jubilation as this one!

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Saviour's Choice: The Top 15 MinerBumping Posts of Year One, Part 2

In honour of the first anniversary of the New Order, we're counting down the top 15 MinerBumping posts. Click here for #15-#11.


#10. "New Carebear-Led Resistance Movement Struggles to Gain Support"

Remember the "Proveldtariat"? If you're new you probably don't, which should give you a hint as to its effectiveness and staying power. But of all the anti-Order resistance movements, it may have been my favorite. Founded by concerned forum poster Anslo, the Proveldtariat movement was the first rebel organization with its own blog. But Anslo soon discovered that it's far more difficult to rally a bunch of misfit underdogs into a disciplined fighting force than a Disney sports movie might suggest--especially if the miners are AFK.

#9. "Sins of a Solar Spymaster, Part 2"

I love it when the enemies of the New Order do something that surprises me. When I convo'ed a self-proclaimed spy and asked him what his intentions were, Ledrian Saisima's explanation provided one of the most extraordinary "out of left field" moments of all time. Emergent gameplay is what makes EVE great, even when people are really bad at it.

#8. "The Dimmest Stars in the Galaxy" (Part 1) (Part 2)

You know you're in for a treat when a corporation's description consists entirely of an angry rant about the New Order. To The Stars corporation did not disappoint. The two-parter offered some good ol' fashioned MinerBumping meat and potatoes: Tears, senseless profanity, threats of revenge, and conspiracy theories.

#7. "Mad Moon Rising, Part 1"

What can you say about Moonsong Miner? She was a truly unique presence in the highsec ice fields. If MinerBumping were a reality show, this post would be our introduction to "America's Sweetheart". Her strange blend of rage and softness, mixed in with poetically-broken English, charmed us all.

#6. "Codification"

As any '80s sitcom will attest, misunderstandings between people can lead to wonderful comedic moments. To'Kor flew into a rage after I bumped him and proclaimed the superiority of my Code. You see, To'Kor is a programmer for the U.S. Department of Defense, and he believes his own coding skills cannot be matched. I only wish every carebear worked for an IT department, because I love seeing how many of them think it impresses people. Luckily, we got a chance to follow-up with To'Kor weeks later, when I bumped into him in another system.

To be concluded...

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Saviour's Choice: The Top 15 MinerBumping Posts of Year One, Part 1

As we continue to celebrate the birthday of the New Order, it's time to take a little trip down memory lane. Even in terms of EVE's history, the New Order hasn't been around for very long. has been around for even less time--it began in August 2012. But we've certainly been active. MinerBumping is already, by far, the largest repository of video game-related tears on the internet. The carebears are entirely to blame for this; they need to stop crying and get to work helping us save highsec. Until then, the tears will flow.

Every decent, honest person reads and appreciates MinerBumping. As we savor our shared experiences, I'd say it's about time for one of those countdown lists everyone on the internet loves so much. As with all "Top #" lists, there's plenty of room for debate and disagreement. Everyone has their own 15 favorite MinerBumping posts. There are differences of taste, nostalgia, and novelty. Today I begin the countdown for my own top 15. If you just joined us recently, consider this an opportunity to get acquainted with some of the story arcs from earlier in our history.

#15. "An Interesting Arrangement"

It's light on tears, but it's also one of the most significant posts in MinerBumping history. For the first time, I requested that a miner prove his loyalty to me--and prove that he already paid another Agent--by putting a pledge in his bio. It was just a spur-of-the-moment fix, but it changed the way thousands of highsec miners use their bio. Airon Taiyou became a trend-setting miner, with the specific language of his "bumper sticker" being copied and adapted across empire space. It also changed the way Agents do business; it's not as important to go rifling through an official list of paying miners.

#14. "Fifty Shades of Bump"

Highsec miners are very similar to one another in a lot of ways. So similar, in fact, that Miner Bingo was created to mock them for their lack of creativity. But no matter how long the New Order went across highsec bumping miners, there was always some new way the carebears could provide us with tears. LeeMan87 proved that when he leveled one of the most mind-blowingly bizarre complaints against the New Order that I've ever seen: We're plagiarizing the "Sword of Truth" series, a collection of fantasy-themed novels he had read. Naturally, my Agents and I were eager to hear more about LeeMan87's theory.

#13. "CEO of the Year"

The New Order has touched so many lives. It has also won a lot of hearts and minds. One of the highsec residents who blossomed under the influence of the Order was Aria Stane, the CEO of an industrial corporation. She decided to take a stand in favor of the Code and told all of her corp's miners that they were required to convert. Jester John didn't like that, so Aria took swift action against him. Spreading her wings further, Aria eventually used an alt to create the CODE. alliance, home to many New Order Agents.

#12. "Declassified: New Order Mole Infiltrates Resistance Movement in Kino" (Part 1) (Part 2)

It's a little tricky to do a countdown like this when there are a lot of multi-part posts, so the rule is that a two-parter can count as one post, while longer series' posts will be treated individually. In this two-parter, we got our first look inside one of the many so-called "resistance" movements that sprouted up in response to the New Order. A daring Agent infiltrated a restricted channel in which the anti-Order miners complained and schemed against us in the most hapless fashion imaginable. Tear-filled chatlog intercepts? Check. Suicide Caracals? Check.

#11. "New Order Bathroom Protocol"

Ah, yes. Of all the provisions in the Code, perhaps the most controversial--and the most misunderstood--is the one that allows miners to use the restroom if they get my permission first. Actually, it's not in the Code, but originally came from an early MinerBumping post in which I defined AFK mining. A miner is considered AFK if he's unable to respond to me in local within a reasonable amount of time (5 seconds or less). If for any reason a miner feels he can't follow that rule, he should dock up. But out of mercy, I offer exceptions to the rule, giving them the ability to take bathroom breaks under certain conditions. Did the rebel miners praise me for this? No, they actually took it as a restriction of their bodily fluids. Thank goodness there are Agents who are educated in the Code sufficiently to guide these lost souls and help them understand the rules.

To be continued...

One Hundred Five Billion in Shares Sold

It seems everyone is in a partying mood lately, what with the first birthday of the New Order being celebrated this week. And few are enjoying the fesitivities more than Erotica 1. She already owned 12,000 shares, but the New Order's birthday made her want to do what she does best: Isk-doubling. Her jaw-dropping purchase of an additional 12,000 shares put us over the 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, and 105 billion marks. Now Erotica 1 is back on top of the shareholder list as the single biggest owner of shares. More importantly, Erotica 1 earns an unprecedented, record-mutilating Duodecuple Supreme Protector's Tip of the Hat™. It's amazing to think that the New Order has sold over a hundred billion isk worth of shares. That's twelve figures!

It's fitting that the entire highsec community, including the isk-doublers of Jita, are rallying around the New Order. Doesn't that warm your heart?

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The Secret Origins of the New Order

Most people who have played EVE within the last year have heard of the New Order. We don't hide what we're about, and we tend to make a splash wherever we go. Yet the origins of the New Order are not so well known. On occasion, I have alluded to what occurred in the days immediately preceding the now-famous June 24th declaration. As we continue this week's celebration of the first anniversary of the New Order, I present to you a special treat. For the first time, I will reveal the GM petition responses that led to the creation of our beloved Order.

UPDATE: After making this post, I was contacted by our friendly neighborhood GMs, who requested that the screenshots of the petition responses not be published here. Because I love and respect CCP--especially the GMs--I have deleted these screenshots. I have also officially petitioned for authorization to use the screenshots. Should my petition be granted, I will restore them.


In the week prior to the creation of the New Order, I purchased a Stabber Fleet Issue and went looking for some miners to bump. I traveled to Halaima, an ice field system near Jita. I told the miners that I would not tolerate botting, and I proved it by bumping the miners whom I suspected of being bots. After a couple days, I received a warning for harassment. I filed a petition in which I requested an explanation for how my good deeds could be so unjustly categorized. This is what I received.


GM Banana gave me a lengthy explanation of the rules. As it turned out, bumping gets a more complicated treatment under the EULA than just about anything else. According to his interpretation, bumping in combat was considered okay, but miner bumping was not.


Banana quoted me a provision of the EULA that you might still see space lawyers citing from time to time. Personally, I was unimpressed. What does bumping have to do with dumping cargo containers? And how can someone interfere with the ability of a bot-aspirant to enjoy the game? The whole reason they do what they do is to make money while not playing the game, because they don't enjoy it.


Though Banana was aware of the fact that I was accusing miners of being bots, he wasn't convinced that my suspicions had any merit. My bumping targets were chosen according to my finely-honed detective skills, but this was dismissed as griefing "random players". I was a loose cannon. At the time, it was common knowledge that CCP wasn't doing enough to combat the botter problem, precisely because they were incapable of distinguishing between human miners and bots. I stepped into the gap and was being punished for it. Ominously, Banana informed me that I was a marked man, a known miner bumper. I had to watch my back.


Of course my efforts seemed random to the CCP folk who couldn't detect bots. For someone who doesn't understand what DNA or fingerprints are, it would seem that the police randomly arrest people. Significantly, this was also the first evidence that my actions were generating a lot of petitions from the whiny carebears. I knew I was making an impact. The source was unimpeachable--it was coming directly from a member of the GM staff! If you want to get some idea of how many petitions we've caused over the last year, take note: This was before the New Order even began. It wasn't even day one yet.


GM Banana concluded by telling me that the rules were foggy. Because they were judged on a case-by-case basis, there was no way for me to anticipate whether or not I would get in trouble for bumping miners again. I wouldn't know I had ended up on the wrong side of the EULA until after I was banned. Worse, I couldn't avoid punishment by limited myself to a few bumpers per miner: Even short periods of bumping could be judged illegal.


The rules were clear as mud, but the result was clear as crystal: If I continued my career of bumping miners, I would probably be banned from playing EVE. The EULA was just too blurry on the issue, and it was too easy for a GM to come by on a case-by-case basis and determine that I was performing "random griefing", even if I only bumped miners for a short time. I was marked as a known bumper, so my actions would be subject to heavier scrutiny. I already knew that even my few days of bumping had resulted in enough petitions to make the GMs take notice. Besides, I had already received a warning, so I wouldn't have an excuse. So that was it, then. No more bumping.

And yet... The true visionary is one who sees opportunity where others do not. I read GM Banana's message again, this time--dare I say it?--through the eyes of a Saviour of Highsec.


Did you see it, dear reader? Among the examples of an acceptable use of bumping, Banana suggested that a fleet might bump miners away for competitive reasons, to protect their asteroids or ice blocks. (At the time, all ice blocks were infinite, so I don't know why someone would do this, but hey, it's EVE.) I thought about this idea of Banana's. Then it occurred to me that it might be possible to create a "business" in which miners pay for the privilege of mining in my system. Of course, it would go far beyond that, because someone would need to pay me money and follow a Code of conduct. But when I did bump miners, it wouldn't be at random. Not at all.

I pitched the idea to GM Banana and asked whether he could tell me if I would fall on the right side of the EULA.


Banana reacted positively to my idea. However, since there was no precedent, he was careful to say that he could not give me any guarantee that I would be allowed to do this. There was still risk involved. It might be permitted, or I might be banned. But you all know me--I'm a big believer in having risk in highsec.

I decided to take his "most likely" as a "yes". From that point forward, I always claimed that I had been given a green light by the GMs, and that the New Order was acting entirely within the rules. This was completely true; the Saviour of Highsec tells no lies. It's just that the GM staff wouldn't conclusively determine that I was telling the truth until several months later, when they issued an official ruling on the matter. By then, countless Agents had bumped countless Code-violating miners. You can't fault me for being ahead of my time.

I certainly did turn a profit on my business. Disregarding the isk sent to me in donations or for the purchase of shares, I have made billions of isk by selling hundreds of mining permits. My expenses were minimal. The Stabber Fleet Issue that I purchased in June 2012 has never needed ammo, nor has it needed to be replaced, for it is Invincible. As for highsec, it would never be the same again.

Monday, June 24, 2013

The New Order Turns One

It's time to put on your party hats--I know you've got them--because today is a day of celebration. Today, the New Order of Highsec is officially one year old! It was June 24, 2012 when I went to EVE-O to announce the creation of the New Halaima Code of Conduct and declare my intention to enforce it by bumping miners.

My unusual announcement provoked a wide variety of reactions. Some were thrilled. Some were horrified. As for the EVE-O moderators, they attempted to bury the announcement by breaking their own rules and moving the thread to the "Sell Orders" subforum, which only permits threads about the sale of in-game items. They told me that this was a response to the fact that my thread also included an announcement about my upcoming IPO, in which people could become shareholders at a cost of 1 million isk per share. They conceded that my proposal did not include the sale of in-game items, so I was permitted to open another thread. They would not admit their mistake, however, and my announcement thread remains in Sell Orders to this day.

I copy-pasta'ed the old thread, removing all references to the IPO, and posted it once again in the "EVE General Discussion" subforum, the only subforum on EVE-O that gets any real traffic. But once more, the EVE-O moderators attempted to strangle the New Order in its cradle by breaking their own rules and moving it to a less-frequented subforum. This time, it was relocated to the "Intergalactic Summit" subforum, which only allows in-character roleplaying posts. My post had several references to the fact that EVE is a game, and the roleplayers who actually posted in the subforum demanded the thread be moved. Finally, the thread landed in the "Crime & Punishment" subforum. I prefer to believe that this is because Code violators are officially considered criminals.

Although the EVE-O moderators tried to stop it before it could begin, word about the New Order got out. It was an exciting development in the otherwise barren, desolate world of highsec. I opened up my IPO, which was only for the sale of 100 million isk worth of shares. I had not yet begun to enforce the Code, but the IPO sold out within 24 hours. The people had spoken. I allowed everyone who wished to participate to buy as many shares as they liked. So far, over 93 billion isk worth of shares have been sold.

It all started with one man bumping miners in a lonely ice field in Halaima. There were skeptics, of course. Following in the footsteps of the EVE-O moderators, a would-be assassin attmpted to prevent the creation of the Order by trying to suicide gank me with a tech II fitted Tempest on the first day. My Invincible Stabber emerged unscathed. I continued to bump. Some said it was pointless, a waste of time. "As long as you're bumping me, you can't bump anyone else," they said. "You'll never make a difference." I disagreed. I felt it was the best possible way to make a difference. One man standing on principle for something he believes in--it's the only way a difference has ever been made in the world.

I was right.

Word of the New Halaima Code of Conduct spread like wildfire. It could not be contained. Others became interested in learning about this "Code" that they heard was causing such a stir in Halaima. Slowly, very slow at first, other residents of highsec expressed a desire to enforce the Code. They became the first Agents of the New Order of Highsec.

After a time, the threads about my IPO in the Market Discussions subforum were no longer sufficient to report on all of the New Order-related activity. I created this blog, MinerBumping, which instantly became a sensation. Agents began recruiting other Agents. What began in Halaima spread across The Citadel and other regions of highsec.

Armed with the isk contributed by our shareholders, I was able to reimburse suicide ganking ships. The Knights of the Order were born. CCP's recent nerfs had brought miner ganking to the brink of extinction. The New Order brought it back. Before long, the New Order was the most feared and loved organization in highsec. Miners were forced to choose sides. Some chose wisely, and they joined the New Order family. Others chose poorly, and they suffered for it.

Since most EVE players live in highsec, and since the New Order was the biggest shock highsec had received since the end of Hulkageddon, EVE-O was constantly lit up with posts about the New Order. The forum moderators did their best to lock these topics and suppress information about what was happening in highsec. For a period of months, the topic was officially off-limits outside of a single thread CCP dedicated to "community feedback"--which was posted in Crime & Punishment rather than EVE General Discussion, to keep it out of the sight of most forum users. They sought support for the idea of banning miner bumping and classifying it as harassment. But this time, the EVE community struck back. They mocked the idea and logically tore the carebears' arguments to bits. CCP was forced to relent, and they officially recognized the legitimacy of miner bumping. Cultural victory was achieved.

Over the course of its first year, the New Order transcended EVE-O, CCP, and the other entrenched powers of EVE. No one could silence news of the New Order or discussions of its Code, because it was everywhere. The rebels and skeptics were powerless to resist its daily advance across empire space. Throughout all highsec, there isn't a system that can be found which has not been touched by the New Order in some way. Indeed, the New Order's criticisms of AFK ice mining resulted in CCP doing away with the practice, which had so long been rooted in EVE's game mechanics. And though not every miner has read the Code and pledged loyalty to me, yet, you cannot go anywhere in highsec without meeting someone in local who, when asked, will tell you what they have heard or experienced from the New Order.

One year ago, a solitary cruiser bumped into miners in a highsec ice field.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Kills of the Week

We've wrapped up another week of suicide ganks by the New Order, and the competition was unusually fierce. Let's check out what made the cut for the week of June 16th @ 00:00 EVEtime through June 22nd @ 23:59 EVEtime.

We begin with xXDUESEXx's 434 million isk mining battleship. I thought we had made it clear in previous editions of Kills of the Week that we don't appreciate these things mining. If you buy a battleship, you need to use it for combat. End of story. Our Agents decided that if the Rokh wouldn't go to a combat zone, they would bring the combat to the Rokh. Capt Starfox, Ziaeon, xxBLACK SKULLxx 929, Ailish Liu, and xxLADY DEATHxx626 did well.

You might be wondering how a covops-cloaking blockade runner gets killed in highsec. Well, they're not supposed to. But Jon Obstergo thought it was a grand idea to flaunt his bot-aspirancy by relying on the safety of highsec: He sat directly on a gate, AFK. Agents Ziaeon, xxBLACK SKULLxx 929, and D400 reported to the scene and performed the kill, disregarding the gate sentry guns.

This Orca kill is very special. You know what the ultimate bot-aspirant act is? Giving out fleet bonuses AFK. Elisa Ebesis did what a lot of Orcas do: She sat on the undock of a station, AFK, to provide fleet bonuses for miners in the system. Regardless of whether or not you believe fleet bonuses should only apply to ships on-grid, Elisa's offense was outrageous. Aided by a bumping Machariel that bounced the Orca out of the station sentry guns' range, Agents Ziaeon, xxBLACK SKULLxx 929, Pestario Vargas, Capt Starfox, Maiki Dresin, Dante Lobos, D400, and Agent Trask pounced on the Orca. Agent Trask nabbed her 1.2 billion isk pod just to press home the point. Remember, folks, if your Orca idles on a station, it can still be killed.

Starstruck Wanderer lived up to her name when she went into shock after losing her 2.5 billion isk Orca and cargo. Agents Capt Starfox, Dante Lobos, Ziaeon, xxBLACK SKULLxx 929, D400, Maiki Dresin, Pestario Vargas, Sir Mack Inawrex, and Agent Trask did what needed to be done. For an instant reaction, Agent Lysergic Jackals infiltrated a channel that Starstruck was in, and asked her what was up.

Starstruck Wanderer > I thought they where there for my mackinaw
Starstruck Wanderer > then I saw my orca taking damage
Starstruck Wanderer > I was like.... wtf?
Lysergic Jackals > Maybe if you got one of those permit thingies they would leave you alone?
Starstruck Wanderer > wtf are you talking about?
Lysergic Jackals > This is what happens when you don't have a permit
Lysergic Jackals > ALL HAIL JAMES 315!
Lysergic Jackals > Would you like to join us in TS to discuss your permit plan?
Starstruck Wanderer > absolutly not
Starstruck Wanderer > fuck you and your permit
Starstruck Wanderer > shove it up your fucking asses
Lysergic Jackals > All of highsec is New Order space and owned by our savior James 315
Lysergic Jackals > I'm trying to help you, we had a good chat and I would like to discuss getting your ship back
Starstruck Wanderer > we do not negotiate with terrorists
Lysergic Jackals > We're not terrorists, we're agents and knights of the New Order

A lot of expensive Hulks died this week, but none more pricey than Quimera223's abomination, worth 1.6 billion isk. Agent Capt Starfox got the kill and received a rare blessing from the Loot Fairy: Every single module on the ship dropped!

Oh and hey, you guys remember that 700m isk Retriever from a few weeks ago? Well, hold onto your butts...

Do not attempt to adjust your monitor. Your eyes do not deceive you. Argus Krazni lost a 2.6 billion isk Retriever. Yes, this tech I mining barge worth more than a capital ship was mining, completely untanked, in a 0.5 security system. Here's the thing about systems with 0.5+ security status: They belong to me. They are New Order territory. The Code is law there. And do you know what they have in New Order territory? Agents. Agents like Sajun Benza, who enforce the law. If you break the law, the Agents of the New Order will break you. Don't be stupid. Follow the Code.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Sins of a Solar Spymaster, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... After shocking everyone in the New Order by declaring himself a spy, Ledrian Saisima told me of his elaborate plan to help me conquer all EVE by killing lowsec miners.

Ledrian promised to send me killmails demonstrating his progress in conquering lowsec. And with that, he disappeared into the shadowy mists of the intelligence world from which he came.

Almost immediately afterward, he assigned me a bunch of random blueprints in a contract for some reason.

...Then he initiated a convo to make sure that I received the blueprints. It kinda ruined the mystique of what might have been a dramatic exit. Oh well.

Ledrian managed to scrape together some isk for a lowsec POS, but he was short on money for fuel. He said it was all "for the greater good". I pondered the phrase, reflecting on how intelligence agencies throughout history have justified their morally gray actions in this manner. I got so caught up in my philosophical reflections that I didn't have any time to respond to Ledrian's EVEmail or send him any money.

It was then that I posted Part 1 of this saga on MinerBumping. Ledrian was caught off guard, and posted on the MinerBumping forums:
I read the page content. Very creative. Not as creative as me though to be able to do what I did to you all but creative nonetheless. There is much for you all to learn about me yet and except for the fact that I told you all I was a spai, I am annonymous in EvE.

Good luck with your search to find out who I really am. You may only find out that who I am is not who you thought you found.
Since Part 1 of the saga left off on a cliff-hanger, Ledrian's post generated some interest among the other forum residents, who peppered him with spoiler requests. Specifically, they wanted to know what intel he had gathered from his spycraft. Ledrian answered:
Well, there were a few things I learned while I was among you all.
#1) How to maximize DPS in a destroyer. I figure, if it works in a Cata, it will work in any Dessie.
#2) The names of the members "ACTIVELY" involved in the New Order
#3) The manipulation of Concord and how to make them work for me
#4) The corporations involved within the CODE alliance
#5) Where most of the attacks are focused so I can be there to put Concord in the belts where they belong.

An accurate statement would be this...."Yes, I helped the Order out with large sums of ISK, but it totally worked in my favor because nobody was even the wiser while I was there."

The treachory that I did was all for the greater good. For example....some of the information listed above, I have sold for several hundred million ISK. The information is used for my benefit yes but, it is also used to fund my EvE play. Ask James about my plans. he knows all about it and I needed to be able to greatly increase my income. Selling the intelligence I gather has always done so.

Once you hear of my ultimate plan, you all will understand why what I did was necessary.
Since the information he gathered was public knowledge, Agent John E Normus asked Ledrian why he had given him a bunch of money for access to the New Order. Ledrian explained:
And yes John, I watched you for months. Seen how you operate when someone is in full support of the Order.

I figured, okay, a sizable donation will get me past the one foot in the door and right into the living room without any hesitation. I just waited until it was you I could complete that transaction with.

By now, Ledrian was beginning to sour on the whole idea of helping the New Order conquer EVE. He created a new corporation dedicated to our demise. The new corp would play to his strengths, focusing on intelligence work.

Agent Fawn Tailor spotted Ledrian in local trying to drum up business. Ledrian seemed to think that random walk-in informants would prove useful. Fawn is an ardent supporter of local business, so she encouraged her fellow Agents to contribute.

Agent Ziaeon also crossed Ledrian's path, and he reported on the vile anti-Order propaganda Ledrian was spewing. Ledrian attempted to insult my honour by calling me "typical", but in doing so, he revealed his fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of the New Order. What makes the Order so great is that it's filled with ordinary people who do extraordinary things.

On one of his scout alts, Ledrian tried to help miners avoid destruction by warning them in local about the presence of our Knights in the system. The plan derailed when the AFK miners failed to pay heed.

Meanwhile, Ledrian attempted to cover his tracks on the MinerBumping forum by posting under a new persona, "Father of Ledrian":
I am writing this post as a request for forgiveness on my son's part. I have never really paid attention to EvE or what happens in the game until now. He began bragging to me about him becoming famous over some type of spy business.

I took a look at this page (well developed by the way) and saw what it was he was talking about. He has been living in a fantasy world apparently. I agree with all of you when it comes to the point of "You cannot be a spy if you tell everyone that you are one!!"

What sense does that make?
But this time, Ledrian underestimated us. His infiltration of the New Order had put us all on high alert, and we engaged a counterintelligence apparatus code-named "Common Sense". Common Sense told us that if someone on an internet forum claims to be someone's parent and disavows their "child's" previous posts, it's really just the same guy. It is a classic internet forum black ops tactic. This revelation stopped us dead in our tracks, and we decided not to induct Father of Ledrian into our organization.

As Ledrian's vendetta came to a boil, he dedicated himself to creating an intelligence agency of a kind that "has not ever been seen since the first day of EVE's launch". There's no doubt that he succeeded in that. Not in a good way, though. Because Ledrian was unable to gather any useful intel, he shifted gears and resurrected his plan to kill lowsec miners. Presumably relying on all of the secret information he stole about how to fit a gank Catalyst, Ledrian abandoned his anti-miner Drake and created an anti-miner Merlin. Now he was ready to take on lowsec.

Ledrian's first operation, in which he tried to sneak into lowsec through a little system called Amamake, ended in failure. His 33 million isk Merlin was killed by a Pandemic Legion gatecamp. The gatecampers were led by none other than Makalu Zarya, a man who has cultivated a special hatred for spies.

In the end, Ledrian decided to save his soul by abandoning the cloak and dagger world of spycraft. If you were to meet him today, you would find a mild-mannered miner and ore merchant. You would never be able to guess at his dark past. And as Ledrian leads his quiet, peaceful life in highsec, one might be lulled into a false sense of security. Somewhere, lurking underneath his carebear exterior, is a man with an ambitious plan for EVE domination. For two years before, he sat and waited. Perhaps... perhaps... he is only waiting still.