Sunday, May 31, 2020

Kills of the Week

Each day, highsec carebears should resolve to be better than they currently are. Maybe that looks like putting down the mining lasers and picking up a smart set of neutron blasters. Or maybe it's trying to avoid making a fool of yourself in a Kills of the Week post. Like today's, covering the week of May 24th @ 00:00 EVEtime through May 30th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

Ganking an expensive jump freighter like Sulfur Atom's 22.9 billion isk Rhea in Jita is very satisfying. Here, the satisfaction was enhanced by the carebear's ORE cargo expanders. And it probably didn't hurt that Agents Tax Collector Max, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Kittens, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector HongMei, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector AynRand, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Mining Lord 1999, and Dr Hattrick got to scoop a cool 8.7 billion isk worth of loot for their trouble...

...But pre-ganking a bunch of unlicensed mining ships is pretty nice, too.

What possible excuse could Zabar Amalacs have had for going AFK in a 5.6 billion isk Golem? For that matter, what excuse could he have had for blinging out his Golem to 5.6 billion in the first place? Agents Caldari Citizen 2116212079, Lovin Jr, Mr Lovin, Young Loving, Mc Iovin, 1400mm Gallium Cannon, and FleetJump Jump saw no reason that Zabar should continue to possess such a ship, so they took it away. Good on them.

There's been a rash of blingy mining ships lately. J4M4 Shaishi's 1.2 billion isk Skiff is a perfect example: ORE Strip Miners, unnecessarily blingy tank modules, and so on. Agents Dishrag, Zor Q, Daystalker 2020, Gankzie McGankFace, Hillbilly-2000, IronRod Kami, Just-Another-Code-Alt Auralis, and Hillbilly2000 somehow managed to penetrate the supposedly impervious Skiff hull and were rewarded with 687 million isk worth of loot. That's how mining is supposed to be done.

Thorhan was another foolish miner who was separated from his isk. After Agents Fate and Destiny, Never Gonna SeeGrandKids, and Zopiclone obliterated the 1.4 billion isk Hulk--in a 0.9 security system, no less--they were treated to a bonus in the form of Thorhan's 2.9 billion isk pod. What a bot-aspirant miner.

If apple2 Deadpool was attempting to troll the Niarja system by bringing in a 1.3 billion isk battleship armed only with fireworks, the effort failed: Agents Georgia Rackner, Yan Rackner, Jani Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Ashlee Rackner, Emily Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Jemma Rackner, and Vladimir Puotin simply terminated him like any other unwanted carebear.

Of course he was carrying a skill injector.

Blingy pods have also been making a comeback these days. Gripen ANM was caught with a juicy pod by Agents Keraina Talie-Kuo and Kibbera. Incredibly, Gripen was autopiloting in a virtually unfit frigate at the time.

Carebears, fit your ships before you even think about buying any implants. And before you do either of those things, buy a mining permit. It is the law, after all.

Saturday, May 30, 2020

Reimbursement Petitions

When carebears lose their stuff in highsec, they often file petitions. What people may not realize is that a lot of those petitions don't get sent to CCP.

...They get sent to me. Over the past several months, I have noticed an uptick in the number of reimbursement requests. In one way, that's a good thing: More carebears are dying.

A pessimist would say that the increase in reimbursement requests is a reflection of the miners' sense of entitlement--and their ignorance of the Code. For example, Recir Kurlem apparently didn't realize that focusing on Project Discovery while mining is a violation of the Code. He literally admitted to violating the rules while asking me for money.

Regardless of the reason for the spike in reimbursement requests, I make a reasonable effort to address them, as I'm doing right now. Serena Scorp, you say that you had no chance to buy a permit. Yet you had the time and resources to become the CEO of your very own corporation. Don't you know that you should become Code-compliant first, so that you will be able to provide a good example if you ever recruit anyone to your corp?

Since your question is about CCP's rules, I invite you to file a petition with a GM. I wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes.

You were "just blowing through" to your home system? That's a fancy way of saying you were AFK autopiloting. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

It looks like you made a mistake by buying a permit "for the future". You're asking me to reimburse a loss that occurred in the past.

I never sent you an email.

Have you tried asking for reimbursement?

Why wasn't your corp member aware of my action? Was he AFK? Is he still?

I'm afraid I must decline your request. Illegally mined ice isn't supposed to be moved through highsec. And certainly not through Uedama!

Nice block of text, but you failed to adequately bury your confession. You admitted to "always watching the Rookie Chat" while mining. The Code requires you to pay attention to your surroundings.

Watch your language.

No, friend, you didn't lose 40 million to my cause; you lost 40 million to your own cause. If you had been supporting my cause--if you had obeyed the Code--you would have avoided destruction. Instead, you chose greed and laziness. You were punished for it. That is justice.

Your reimbursement request is denied. Would you like to buy a permit?

Friday, May 29, 2020

The Plague of Nakugard, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt 00 embarked on a mission to rescue the Nakugard system from its state of squalor. But her righteous campaign of Code enforcement was met with anger from some miners.

The latest emergency decree on MinerBumping had given Alt 00 sweeping authority to handle the crisis in Nakugard. She didn't hesitate to use it.

Some carebears complained that they were not "mining" at the time of their destruction. But the lockdown order that Alt 00 instituted was abundantly clear.

Alt 00 cleverly name-dropped the Saviour of Highsec in order to get Yua Tezuka to reveal her true intentions.

The poor behavior of the anti-Code faction did little to advance their cause. In any case, bot-aspirants never help each other.

Despite the whining from a noisy minority, Alt 00's lockdown actually enjoyed broad support. Responsible citizens were happy to see our Agent cleaning up the system.

And it was a sight to behold, as always.

Miners and their enablers continued to die--with plenty of warning.

But no matter how much warning they received, it was never enough for the carebears.

A bot-aspirant's priorities: They always have an excuse for not watching local chat, but they never pass up an opportunity to grind isk.

Isk-grubbing miners bristled under the new restrictions. Had they nothing better to do, though? Apparently PvE was the only reason they played EVE.

The grousing and grumbling did not discourage our Agent. In fact, she only expanded her activities further.

In addition to ganking, Alt 00 began to bump the miners when appropriate. Would that be enough to correct their selfish attitudes?

To be continued...

Thursday, May 28, 2020

The Plague of Nakugard, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt 00 was busy ridding the Nakugard system of unwanted pests when illegal miner Nolm Redneval interrupted her work by spewing his filth all over the system.

Nolm had been decisively defeated in PvP. During the post-battle discussion in local chat, even his fellow miners told him to calm down. So Nolm resumed his whining via EVEmail.

As an Agent of the New Order, Alt 00 never backed down from a fight. She spoke truth to the miner.

Unfortunately, Nolm wasn't interested in the truth. And Nakugard's troubles were only beginning.

Alt 00 noted in her journal, "With much of the world on lockdown, miners swarm to Nakugard and mine more than ever before..." She resolved to step up Code enforcement activities accordingly.

Our Agent broke the ice by smartbombing a large collection of unlicensed mining drones.

Then she unleashed her Catalysts, taking lovely photos as she turned the miners into something more useful to highsec: Explosions.

Miners often complain about how boring it is to sit in an asteroid belt and mine. Alt 00 aimed to brighten their day.

On MinerBumping, it was announced that the Enhanced Bathroom Protocol was going into effect. Alt 00 resolved to carry out the order.

Miners always ask to be warned about stuff in advance, so our Agent obliged them.

For the good of the system, Alt 00 enforced emergency measures in Nakugard. Everyone who disobeyed, whether in a mining ship or not, was promptly destroyed.

Some miners were dumb enough to ignore our Agent's warnings. Can you believe it?

The situation was growing more serious by the day.

To be continued...

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

The Plague of Nakugard, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Alt 00 had high hopes for Nakugard. She dreamed that the system would one day reach its full potential. But Nakugard faced a threat: Filthy, disgusting miners.

Alt 00 had a reputation for being tough but fair. It was well earned.

When our Agent observed imperfection in the system, she moved quickly to correct it. But some miners do not take criticism--or antimatter--with grace.

With no way to fight back against an Agent armed with the Code, the miners resorted to angry outbursts in local. But these proved to be as ineffective as the miners' paper-thin tanks.

By now, the bot-aspirants understood that Alt 00 wasn't simply going to get bored and go away. They would have to deal with her or leave the system.

Those who remained in Nakugard were destroyed. Only miners who saw the light and obeyed the Code were able to survive.

Considering the power of Alt 00's gank fleets, Code compliance seemed like the obvious choice. However, some miners felt that mining was only worth doing if it could be done AFK. The Code was incompatible with their bot-aspirant lifestyle.

By March, Nakugard local chat saw a sharp uptick in the number of references to the coronavirus. And our Agent feared that the miners were not practicing proper hygiene.

Alt 00 reasoned that the best way to improve the health of the system was to remove all sources of negativity. This meant killing more miners.

Nolm Redneval was caught violating the law. Instead of apologizing, he raged. As though it was our Agent's fault that Nolm was bad at EVE.

According to Nolm, highsec was supposed to be a place where spaceship combat didn't take place. But Alt 00 knew where that reasoning would lead: EVE's entire population would be dragged down as all of the PvE'ers went to highsec for automated isk-grinding in total safety.

Alt 00 wouldn't let that happen.

Other miners in the system cautioned Nolm against behaving this way. Even fellow gank recipient Jake Astora told him to stop whining.

With everyone in Nakugard encouraging Nolm to improve his behavior, the miner had no excuse for continuing his temper tantrum. It was time for him to calm down, grow up, and obey the Code. But would he?

To be continued...