Monday, October 15, 2018

Guess the Pod, Round 1

Agent ST0NER SMURF and his colleagues in Vrix Nation corp (a proud member of the mighty CODE. alliance) perform an important job. They're Code enforcers, of course, and they specialize in ganking autopiloting pods. Many of those who get ganked are furious, despite the fact that anyone who slowboats a pod 15km to a stargate should expect to be shot. If you're a MinerBumping reader, you've doubtless read many tearmails from such unreasonable carebears.

Today, we're going to do something a little different. Would you like to play a game, dear reader?

Each of the tearmails you see below was written by someone who lost a worthless pod, one that contained no implants. These are called "bully pods" in the common parlance. (And no, Anti-Gankers, they're not called that because the gank recipient was being bullied.)

Every pod was empty--every pod except one. One of these tearmails was written by someone who lost a blingy pod. So that's the game. It's your job, dear reader, to guess whose pod was the expensive one.

Shall we begin?

andre marshalll feigns ignorance of the Code. He even apologizes, which is rare. Perhaps he's hoping to get some expensive implants reimbursed. Or maybe his good manners suggest he's not bot-aspirant enough to autopilot in an expensive pod. Then again, he's a mission runner, so maybe he has some money.

Shadea Kavees is an odd duck. He claims to know the Saviour of Highsec. Clearly, he's trying to intimidate our Agent. But if he only lost a bully pod, what's the point?

Sara Sharvas is a list maker. She also wants payback. Who would need to get revenge for an empty pod?

Short and simple, Atrasadinho's tearmail didn't take much time. He may have found the gank to be a sign of insanity because his pod was empty. Surely his was one of the bully pods.

Ashura Rogue is dismissive--maybe a little too dismissive. She works hard to make sure our Agent knows just how little she cares about the loss of her pod. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Alubias Con Chorizo knows that he is one of many who has been caught in a wide net. He reasons that our Agent's action must be part of a scam. If his pod were expensive, maybe the act wouldn't need justification?

Celestial Trifecta shows genuine interest in purchasing a permit. This is someone who doesn't want to lose another pod. The loss of some pricey implants would certainly explain why.

Zokin wants our Agent to know that he only goes AFK for big, important reasons. Could he have lost a big, important pod?

benjamin fury didn't do a good job of reading the Code the last time he checked--no surprise there. He, too, has an excuse for his appearing AFK, but a more believable one. Regardless, why the need to justify himself to our Agent, unless he was angling for reimbursement?

Archirix Tawate, on the other hand, doesn't look like someone interested in reimbursement. A quick message and he's off. Another bully pod to go in the pile, it would seem.

There you have it, dear reader. Nine empty pods and one with treasure. Who lost their implants? Ponder the mystery and, when you have arrived at a conclusion, scroll down for the answer.

My face shall serve as your spoiler warning.

Here it is, a loss of 1.97 billion isk, including a Mining Foreman Mindlink. The pod belonged to Zokin, who claimed that he was AFK to deal with an emergency in real life.

Our Agent, too, was responding to an emergency: He saw a carebear violating the Code.


  1. My bet was on Shadea, claiming to know the Savior

  2. I did not participate, as I've been told that trying to follow the thought process of the highsec miner can make your forehead feel numb. At best.

    But I'm deeply touched by the fact that the Savior also have energies to keep His audience mentally fit by such an exercise, besides the incredible task of saving highsec.

  3. I always found that the most foul-mouthed mails came from those who lost empty pods. It's a strange phenomenon.

  4. That was a fun game, James! My money was on Alubias. He seemed the most level-headed, and Carebear's Law states that the smaller a carebear's loss, the more angry he gets.

  5. Zokin - I guessed correctly! \o/

    It seems that Zokin's more mature response befits an individual who has the resilience and experience to acquire a greater amount of virtual assets. He has already suffered relatively large losses over the course of his internet spaceships journey; he understands the PvP mentality at the heart of EvE Online; and he understands that losses are the result of one's own ignorance or carelessness - afterall, nobody is ever forced to undock from station and expose oneself to danger.

    The less-experienced and less-capable players are generally the ones who throw tantrums. Their illusions of a comfortable themepark are rudely shattered, and they react accordingly, despite their relatively minimal losses. It was the same with me - one of my most mentally crushing losses was my first Drake and capsule after an ill-fated wormhole skirmish - I didn't even have Tech2 fittings yet. The total loss was less than 150 mil, but I felt emotionally shattered. I still had much to learn.

  6. Kinda sad to brag about pod killing.


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