Welcome back to Guess the Pod, also known by its working title, "The Vrix Nation Mysteries, featuring Agent ST0NER SMURF". It's time once again for you, dear reader, to put your tearmail examination skills to the test. And today, it's a double feature.
Here's our first mystery pod owner. Take note: We're not dealing with a blingy pod. This one contains some very cheap implants, so the pod is just barely not a bully pod. The rest of the pods are bullies, containing nothing but the frustrations of their former owners. Your mission is to identify El Cheapo.
Victor Arnerette blames his loss on lag--something you'd expect from the participant of a giant fleet battle, not an AFK autopiloter. That kind of defensiveness doesn't speak to a bully pod.
prichard Vokan immediately reaches for the nationalism card. (As usual, the carebear gets it wrong: Our Agent is Dutch, not American.)
Alex J A-Cat is much too busy for punctuation--yet he can't resist the temptation to get the last word.
Ah, the "new returning player". Tarys Anthar has been a newbie for over six years. Surely he could afford some decent implants, if he wanted to fit any at all.
jon greenthumb has a lot of obligations. For some reason, he chose to prioritize his family over the Code. His guilt must have motivated him to write this essay. Could the loss of an empty pod have prompted such an EVEmail?
Now, dear reader, the first part is concluded. Lock in your answer!
I repeat, lock in your answer before reading on.
The owner of the 67k pod was none other than Tarys Anthar, our six-year veteran--er, I mean newbro. I suppose if you're going to play the newbie, you may as well look the part with some really cheap implants.
Dear reader, it's time to step up your game. For the next pod, we're going to do things in reverse. It's your job to identify the owner of the bully pod. Each of the tearmail authors below lost pods with implants, except one. Can you identify him or her?
Whiite Weedow's message was short, and apparently he still couldn't complete it. Owners of empty pods do tend to be terse.
...And ShadowfireWraith fits into that pattern, also. Maybe he couldn't believe that someone would go to the trouble of ganking his empty pod?
ALTxF4's message outs him as the owner of a cheap--but not empty--pod. Then again, maybe he lost track of his own implants. One can never take anything for granted with carebears.
Apophis Ahashion sneers at our Agent's skills, but he can't quite bring himself to offer a lowsec duel to defend his honour.
Erakos Odunen can't even pretend to make a credible threat of spaceship violence, so he hexes our Agent instead. An empty threat for an empty pod?
Get to work! Find the bully pod and lock in your answer.
The owner of the bully pod was ALTxF4, who claimed to have a 50k Capsule.
Never trust a carebear.