Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Rus to Judgment

If a miner won't buy a permit after you gank him...

...Gank him again. Even after losing his first Retriever, EFREM1986 EFREMOV was stubbornly non-compliant. He was ganked again the next day--in the exact same asteroid belt. Suddenly, he became talkative.

Agent Slutzilla was treated to a message from the formerly silent miner. Unfortunately, it was in Russian, so our Agent couldn't tell whether the miner was asking for permission to buy a permit.

(In case you didn't catch the joke, dear reader.)

EFREM1986 was too proud and too stubborn to buy a permit. Naturally, he was also too proud and stubborn to speak English. But Slutzilla held her ground. All communications must take place in the Agent's language of choice.

It was a test of wills. Who would break?

The miner broke. It was either that or risk having another Retriever break.

Though EFREM1986 didn't speak English fluently, Google Translate has always been good at conveying a miner's anger.

EFREM1986 was his own worst enemy. The miner's golden opportunity to become Code-compliant was quickly slipping through his fingers.

For all her generosity and kindness, Agent Slutzilla chose not to pamper the miner; she spoke to him frankly. Apparently this caused EFREM1986 to slip back into Russian. The miner also sent off a series of rapid-fire messages:

I can improve upon Google's translation: "My loss has already been replaced. I didn't want that ship anyway. One day I will have my revenge."

EFREM1986 was not yet willing to purchase a mining permit. After all, some miners need to be ganked three times. Or more.

Slutzilla didn't receive any more mail from EFREM1986, so she courteously gave him the mark of 315 and moved on to the next miner. In highsec, there's always someone else in need of an Agent's assistance.


  1. Praise James and his mighty agents! May they reign 1000 years! \o/

  2. No infamous Red Pen list?

  3. Another amazing Story, even if I do say so myself! :)

    1. I found ukranian a bent neolithic language as well.

  4. Russians seem to think that being gay is a curse. I don't see what one's RL sexual orientation has to do with selling mining permits though. I think he's in need of another ganking. Third time's the charm.

  5. Miners have a real hard time separating video games with IRL. It must be a side affect of the rocks. Very sad.Thank goodness they have James to save them.

  6. ok, that was really funny. :D

  7. You don't have any rights to kill miners. Only player can decide, what he want to do and no one can order him. You're only pirates, who can't do anything better, than it, and you decided to kill other players only because they mine in highsec


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