Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Avenging Bumps at Fanfest

In the past, we've seen how miners who oppose the New Order can become entranced by fantasies of my real-life suicide or other bodily harm coming to me.

As I was bumping miners in Kamio, some asked about my plans for future expansion. When I indicated a desire to spread my reach across highsec, Lucion Jaxx took issue. After he disturbed miners by suggesting opposition to me, I had no choice but to bump his hulk (yes, some people still fly those) out of mining range, precisely twice. He refused to pay for his mining permit and docked up for the day. I considered the matter settled.

But the seed was planted. Others also began to ponder the possibility of defeating the Supreme Protector of Kamio by striking at the human operator, bypassing my Invincible Stabber entirely.

The concept appealed to Lucion, still steaming from being bumped out of range. Threats of real-life harm are, of course, against the EULA--though highsec miners have a mixed record when it comes to EULA violations.

I asked Lucion if he really did ever attend Fanfest, and he made the dubious claim that he had punched The Mittani during a previous one. Presumably the assault was in response to The Mittani's own anti-miner activities.

I attempted to defuse the situation by appealing to reason. After all, why attack someone over a computer game? Lucion demurred, so I reminded him that such attacks are criminal in nature.

However, it was clear Lucion intended to make a clean getaway. He also pointed out that the penalty would likely involve only a fine, not imprisonment. I responded by appealing to the higher ideal of a peaceful civilization in which people resolve their disputes with words, not fists.

Lucion's nihilism knew no bounds. As a last resort, I appealed to his love of EVE. Surely if he attacked someone at Fanfest, CCP would not look kindly upon him.

Unfortunately, there was a difference of opinion as to whether or not CCP would approve acts of physical violence, given the fact that I had bumped his hulk out of mining range.

The two bumps exerted upon Lucion's hulk left deep scars on his psyche. Despite what he said, I still believe time heals all wounds. Once he deals with his issues and pays me my 10 million isk, Lucion will make a fine addition to the New Order.


  1. "pays me my 10 million isk" drug dealers, mobsters extorting money out of poor business owners say that kind of shit, James. This is where your facade falls apart, sir. Go on, just admit you're a petty space game thug. You seem to forget that people have died over video games quite a few times over the years. I don't think you honestly know what you're doing.

    Not a threat, just common sense. You anger people every day for a year you get set on fire like the victim of the chinese boy who said he was a fire mage. Or the kid who got stabbed to death when the guy came to his house after a spirited CoD match. All fun and games until a chinese kid shows up at your house with some lighter fluid and a match.

  2. James, I fucking hate you and your harassment based gameplay. You are the single worst thing I have ever come into contact with in the game of Eve. Your code is shit, it's nothing more than a bully tactic. If you really wanted to hurt actual bots, you would never have come up with a 10million isk mining permit fee. Simply just bump the bots out of range. Real miners would love you for it. Instead you a stupid angry little man, and it so obvious to any mature and rational person. I fucking HATE you.

    1. So much hate. We of the Order have selflessly put much effort in to helping the lost & we're met with so much hate. You will see soon enough. The New Order of Highsec will show you the way.

    2. It's ironic that you're calling him a stupid angry little man.

    3. Your tears are delicious, but please stop posting, you are making my investment in carebear tears fall due to great increases in supply these days.

  3. "Presumably the assault was in response to The Mittani's own anti-miner activities." Might want to reword that there, this (incorrectly) implies that the Supreme Protector's acts are actually also anti-miner. I think we can all agree that this is far from true as a Saviour of Hi-Sec cannot be anti any hi-sec activity.

  4. Hi sec miners: where internet tough guy and serious business intersect

  5. Lol I love it. Keep up the good reads.

  6. I sense much mad in you.

  7. The replies to this post are nectar, I'm tempted to head over there and join in the bumping fun just to rile up this lot. Utterly hilarious.

  8. This is quickly becoming the best blog of it's kind ;)
    I really hope you can keep this up for as long as possible.

    Transplant the Code seed to other popular mining regions (nests) as well. I bet many will be eager to follow you in an organized manner.

  9. Wow You sir Are doing Gods work.

    I salute you.

  10. I wonder if these chaps would be so angry if mining wasnt so boring?

  11. god this blog is amazing. so much lols. so many delicious carebear tears. James 315 FOREVER


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