Monday, April 29, 2019

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #182

Dean Age was salty immediately after being ganked. Would his saltiness level increase or decrease over time?

...And now it's a Grab Bag. Welcome!

These days, the ability to translate the tears of Chinese miners is more important than ever. But Google Translate appears to be lacking:

I get the impression that something was lost in translation here.

Don't worry, though, highsec still has plenty of Russian miners.

"Fuck you, you fucking motherfucker! and shove your new order, yourself or the ass you suck"

Highsec carebears certainly have a distorted view of the EVE galaxy. They think Goonswarm Federation rules lowsec. A lot of these miners don't know anything about the world beyond the asteroid they're shooting.

If Cateron Shikkoken is waiting for CCP to release a dev blog that exonerates him of the crime of bot-aspirancy, he'd better not hold his breath. Our Agents always perform a full investigation before accusing miners of anything.

It seems the space lawyers are multiplying.

In a nod to the New Order's founding, Agent Kalorned bumped a miner in Halaima for an extended period. It was worth the effort. The miner performed a detailed psychoanalysis of our Agent and sent it to him, free of charge.

Whenever Chaos Blackhawk interacts with one of our Agents, he tells them to drink bleach. He's quickly gaining a reputation as "the bleach guy".

I'm always baffled when a rebellious carebear accuses our Agents of "griefing" the miners. It's obvious from EVEmails like this one that the New Order spreads joy wherever it goes. We're whatever the opposite of a griefer is.

There are a lot of bad miners out there, but make no mistake--day by day, highsec is being reformed. It's glorious to behold.


  1. That's our Kalorned...

  2. I wonder if Fourwinds Ptah blames Kalorned's mother.

  3. Arnon is fun. The rules state that we should refrain only from interfering with rookie epic arc runners, but the ne'er-do-well belt miners often feel entitled to the same courtesy. A few of them are even bold enough to assert that they're making a valuable contribution to the economy by going AFK there!

    It's almost as if the highsec miners want to be hated by everyone in Eve. If that's their goal, they're doing a great job. —James 315 II.XII.MMXI

  4. Chinese miner.......YOU PAY NOW.

    respect supreme landlord.

    Praise James 315.

  5. something something strawberry


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