Wednesday, April 3, 2019

If I Tell Them To

When you're an Agent of the New Order, everyone has something to say about you. You'll hear a lot of cheers and a lot of jeers.

The jeers come from Goofuses.

While on an excursion to the Kaimon system, Agent Minx Mattel encountered MikhailGorbachev Gorbachev's. MikhailGorbachev was a Goofus.

MikhailGorbachev expressed his utter disdain for anyone who lived in highsec--despite living in highsec himself. Strangely, this is a common sentiment among highsec miners.

The miner encouraged Minx to leave highsec. Of course, his advice had nothing to do with his desire to avoid being ganked by our Agent. He simply wanted Minx to know nullsec is cool, that's all.

MikhailGorbachev couldn't stop talking about how great nullsec is and how everyone should go there. Minx suggested that the miner should accept his own invitation. Would the miner come up with a believable excuse for refusing?

Just then, Minx's aggression timer ran out, and she left the system to gank someone next door. However, the miner left an intriguing threat in local chat right before Minx jumped the gate. Our Agent reminded herself to ask the miner about it--if he was still in the system when she returned.

About twenty minutes later, Minx jumped back into the system. Sure enough, MikhailGorbachev was ready to pick up the conversation where it left off.

As it turned out, MikhailGorbachev was no ordinary highsec miner. This miner was connected. He had friends in Goonswarm Federation and Pandemic Legion.

Judging by his bio, he favored his PL friends over his Goon friends.

Most of nullsec was at MikhailGorbachev's beck and call. This only added to Minx's questions about why the miner ever left nullsec to begin with. I mean, he was basically running the place.

MikhailGorbachev might have krabbed in nullsec once upon a time, but now he was just crabby. Minx made a point of following up with the miner by EVEmail.

MikhailGorbachev was still in a bad mood when he replied. Indeed, he was so enraged that one minute later, he did something rash.

A billion isk bounty instead of a permit. I told you this guy was a Goofus.

Maybe nullsec is filled with cool people because all of the worst miners go back to highsec?


  1. Minx Mattel: "We say whatever we want. And it is true".
    Sounds like Jamey and his chode. slaves are Trump supporters in RL.

    1. So, chodeanon, once again, your primary arguments are that "Jamey" is a sometimes used nickname for people named "James" and that "CODE." rhymes with "chode". Thanks for showing up everyday to show us how much of an obsessed simpleton you are.

      If you really want to upset someone, maybe you could put an ad on craigslist or something and try to hire a smart person to help you troll better. Really all you do here is make yourself and whatever salty cause you think you stand for look bad.

    2. The "slaves" line is just silly too. No one in Eve has as much freedom, as much power entrusted to them and as much fun Agents do in this game. If you really want to see slaves, find those suckers sitting around in mining belts all day slave to their isk addiction or some nullsec alliance members that have to do mandatory fleets to not get booted or the noob who gets recruited by a pve sweatshop tax scam corporation and is not taught how to defend themselves or improve.

      Or maybe there are those that are so enslaved by their salty, malignant feelings, they compulsively post on a website of people they're mad it. I log in to see great stories about what a group I belong to generates. You log in because angery. :D

    3. Still butthurt and mad anon it seems.

      Cheer up dipshit, remember, you voted for James315.

      In rl, you voted for hillary it seems.

      No wonder you are mad.

    4. When you're a Knight of the Order the whole universe is your oyster. If you're a highsec miner you get shucked.

    5. Seeing salty tears from chode. slaves like vagina, karma, and the "professor" is quite interesting. It must be hard for them to be on the other side of the fence for once.

  2. LOL @ code you are all so boring zzz watch your self ward ! what great stories you all post lol have fun popping soft targets

    1. Watch myself because what? You're going to shoot my spaceships? Oooh noooo... :(

  3. Whack the russian miner over the head with a hammer at every opportunity.
    Like a catfish you catch out of the river.

    The evosystem will thank you.

  4. Judging from his bio, it is very possible he hates Goons because he fell for the classic recruitment scam.

  5. Agent Minx again! He's one of the biggest heroes in the entire New Order. Great Work!



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