Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Order in the Court, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... btujustin btujustin lost his Covetor and lost his cool. The miner was invited to have his case heard in court. Once there, btujustin lost his composure, too.


Questioned about his unfortunate (and illegal) use of bling, the miner was as stubborn as ever.


Just then, our Agents ganked DunkyPSA, whose Gila was far blingier than btujustin's Covetor.


DunkyPSA, too, was dragged into the courtroom to join his fellow defendant.


Unlike btujustin, DunkyPSA didn't try to justify what he'd done. He had no excuse, and he knew it. There was no denying that the gank had been fair. DunkyPSA therefore let the matter stand. But btujustin would not give up so easily.


In fact, btujustin couldn't even accept the fact that he was a miner. His denial changed nothing, though. Our Agents moved on.


The miner sat by himself while the people who had judged him attended to other matters.


Time went by, and btujustin grew impatient. Though he'd already lost, the miner still had every hope of winning his case. And he had a plan.


btujustin brought his friend Darth Terona into the courtroom. Was Darth an experienced space lawyer?


Darth had his legal strategy all mapped out. Unfortunately, our Agents had already seen it before. Darth was the epitome of the Former Fan, a breed of anti-Code rebel whose characteristics have been analyzed before on MinerBumping. Our Agents diagnosed him at once.


Like others of his type, Darth attempted to support his argument by invoking the history of the Code--while never actually having being a part of it.


Darth insisted that Agents like Aiko Danuja and Lewak were corrupt--and that their interpretation of the Code was a perversion of the original, pure, true Code.


Lewak and Aiko called the Former Fan's bluff.


...And that is how you deal with the Former Fan. Once his bluff has been called, there's nothing left for him to do but tip his cap and end the conversation.


Darth's defeat also sealed the fate of btujustin, who had been relying on him. Our Agents wielded the Code to cut through the rebels' deceptions and to do justice in highsec. I guess their Code must be the true one after all.

22 comments:

  1. Really funny! That miner (former fan) really got put in his place. He should have bought a permit.

    Looking at zkill... looks like Darth Terona is 55% snuggly. XD

    Why didn't ag stop any of these ganks??!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Xan: your board is a carebear's board. Perhaps you could challenge Darth to an honourable 1v1 at the sun, say, Amamake? Bring a battleship. Oh, and 1v1 means just yourself.

      Delete
    2. Before Xan engages you in an honorable duel, you must prove yourself worthy.

      Delete
    3. "Xan: your board is a carebear's board." XD

      Yes I will definitely duel him and I will absolutely win. But first he has to prove his honour by passing 3 tests.

      Delete
    4. Seriously. Send me an email or go to NOL_Public and we can discuss this.

      Delete
  2. Lewak and Aiko are awesome agents!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just love a Former Fan. I've been advised against trying to replicate the thought-process of a miner, but it's especially interesting in these cases.

    Maybe he had to turn when he realized that killing miners involves killing miners too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think this blog was funny to him until he saw his own covetor exploding.

      Delete
  4. lol, Darth Terona bitch slaps a couple of Jamey's chode. slaves, and all they can do back is hurl weak insults. Just again goes to show how truly ineffectual chode. is to the vast majority of EO denizens.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chodeanon, where you been? Oh wait, you've been here reading our blog everyday. Guess we're just not THAT ineffectual! ag failing daily lol! XD

      Delete
    2. CHODEanon is like a mascot, I look forward to reading his tears in the comments.

      Delete
  5. I'm with Darth.

    The original CODE. were classy gentlemen. Starfox was always on top of his game, Small Beer, Fawn Tailor, Tubrug, Bing always gave great stories of derring do and superlative tear farming: Mine Tek & Moonsong being personal favourites. All the while miners were whinging & AG were just terrible.

    But recently, perhaps since the great purge and Erotica making a bigot's poor wife very unhappy, the narrative has gone down in tenor and quality. No more laugh out loud moments. A victim of its own success perhaps: with an emasculated anti-ganking a hopeless highsec against them, it's only natural the standards would drop.

    And so they have. What was good bantar is now "I popped a venture, let's laugh at him". You never see CODE. in lowsec trying their hand. Carrier baiting is all well and good, but if lowsec - empty, forlorn, safe lowsec - is too noisy even for CODE. you know something's wrong with them.

    And not one of the intelocutors here would dare face Darth in solo combat. They'd need a warpin & free ships to give them courage first. Pro-tip, he's 0km at the sun, in either a rifter or a wolf.

    James, for the love of all that's holy, save this sacred alliance from eating itself before it's too late. The carebears will win if good men do nothing.

    P.S. Darth if you're reading this, tell your idiot miner friend to never give tears. He looks more an idiot than his lossmail, and brings dishonour by association.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do please take into consideration that the player you hold in such high esteem, has just compared the atrocities of the Catholic church with a spaceship video game. (I suppose this stock response makes him slightly edgy, or cool, or something).

      Anyhow - the negative sec Agents mentioned above aren't going to warp a Catalyst to the sun to engage a Rifter with an afterburner in Highsec. They'll just leave him there doing nothing, until he gets bored. He's not very important.

      Solo combat is done on our own terms, ending in the targets destruction. If his Rifter became relevant to us for some reason, it would likely be struck on a gate.

      Delete
    2. Write a novel next time.

      Meet me at the sun?



      BINGO.

      Delete
    3. LOL! What weird wall of text is this? So much effort to try to lecture us on how we enforce the Code. XD

      We've always taken vacations to null and low, some agents actually live there and come to High Sec to help the cause. StarFox being one of those players.

      Such is ag's constant failure. James 315 has you pegged perfectly.

      Praise be His name! May a loot of a thousand ventures be laid at His feet.

      Delete
  6. Thanks for your input Darth who has no alts.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Daylight come and me wanna go home.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Replies
    1. where do I begin... to those who want code to solo me at the sun. I find the challenge unfair. It would be like them challenging me to a miner ganking competition. The difference between me and these agents, is im not a try hard that, if challenged to a miner ganking competition, would make excuses as to why I wont participate. I would simply state that I know nothing of ganking miners, and therefore would not compete (before going to get some practice first)
      Another difference between me and them is im clever enough to make this counter, and therefore keep my class.
      And the final difference between me and them, is you can google my name and come up with pages of content about my char. I have no quarrel with code.

      But if they insist, well.. let the games begin.

      Delete

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