Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Carebear Don't Care, Part 1

Pop quiz, dear reader.

How do you square this...

...With this?

Or, for that matter, with this?
Larsulrik Napsterbane > Kill: Aeryn Hanaya (Hulk) Kill: Aeryn Hanaya (Capsule) + 5 augmented mining drones.....
Lewak > decent pod
Slutzilla > interesting pod for a permit holder....
One fine day, the heroes of highsec were hanging out in the MinerBumping channel, sharing awesome kills the way cool people do. Agents Larsulrik Napsterbane and Slutzilla of the PKing Since Pong alliance announced the news of their most recent gank.
SWAGGZENEGGER > did she greet u in local?
Slutzilla > with that fit it wouldnt matter.... no tank (for example)... using augmented mining drones... and so on.
Piz Caldera > The pod is too decadent for a miner. It was right to remove it!
Lewak > its as if he intended to mock the permit by all the violations he was doing while having it displayed
Our Agents were amazed by the bot-aspirant miner's decadence and lack of concern for the Code. Even more scandalous--the guilty miner owned a permit.
AMARR DontCare > why is people ganking us while we have permits?
Larsulrik Napsterbane > Ganking who?
AMARR DontCare > well cant say they are code but they have james 315 in their bio
Larsulrik Napsterbane > who?
AMARR DontCare > ill give the names in a minute.
Just then, someone burst into the MinerBumping channel with an urgent report: Agents of the New Order had ganked a permit-holder! But who would do such a thing?

The concerned citizen, AMARR DontCare, identified the Agents. They were members of PKing Since Pong. The news didn't make sense, though, since the Agents in question were known to be men of honour.
AMARR DontCare > did not gank me ganked my corp member.
Larsulrik Napsterbane > "dontcare Corporation"?
AMARR DontCare > yes
D34dly D34dly > the hulk with the aug mining drones? xD
AMARR DontCare > D34dly D34dly yes that 1
Suddenly, it clicked.

AMARR DontCare was the CEO of Aeryn Hanaya, the same miner whose decadent Hulk, pod, and drones had been the subject of discussion in MinerBumping at that very moment.
AMARR DontCare > i mean seriously.
Piz Caldera > AMARR DontCare did your corp member used to have a decadent hulk, with decadent drones and decadent pod Sir?
Larsulrik Napsterbane > With no tank?
Larsulrik Napsterbane > scroll up!
AMARR DontCare > lol ok then
Everything started to make sense; the mystery had been solved in record time. Now all that remained was for AMARR to apologize for the confusion and straighten out the wayward miner in his corp.
AMARR DontCare > no local chat at all
AMARR DontCare > there was no anouncement like it should have been
AMARR DontCare > no anouncement of any kind
Slutzilla > announcement? what do you mean?
Slutzilla > You are talking about "The Phantom Provision"?
...It soon became clear that things would not be so simple. Invoking the Phantom Provision, AMARR sought to blame the Agents who had brought Aeryn to justice!
AMARR DontCare > we great if we see an agent but they did not even send GF in local so meaning they did not follow code rules anyways
Slutzilla > Agents dont have to give the miners a gf... especially if they are no longer in local.... (podded)
D34dly D34dly > hmmm. you sure you remember who should give the gf?
AMARR DontCare > both
Now, in the very heart of the MinerBumping channel, battle lines were being drawn. At stake were matters of incalculable importance--and the very meaning of the Code itself.

To be continued...


  1. I was just telling a miner last night that if he's going to buy a permit he better be following the Code.

    The Code: read it, learn it, live it.

    1. Or James's minions will huff and puff and blow your mining ship away.

      If that doesn't work they might also hold their breath and stamp their feet.

    2. Boom! Should have followed the Code.

  2. *yawn* Yet another rehash "story". Jamey truly doesn't have anything left that is original, and his chode. slaves still blindly follow him, just like the lemmings they are.

    1. So you idolise a bunch of lemmings by religiously returning day in day out to check what they got up too?

      Hahahahaha you troll yourself.

    2. Chodeanon is our biggest fanboi.

      He can't quit us!

  3. Miners, be humble. The permit is not a license to do whatever you like. It's a promise to do whatever James 315 likes. And He would like you to follow the Code.

  4. CHODE anon is like someone who reads the Gospels, and is like "I've heard this story before, YAWN."

  5. Those miners didn't even *deserve* a permit in the first place!

    1. As far as I'm concerned, NO miners deserve a permit. The permit system is far too generous for the likes of them, but that's our Saviour for you I guess, the most generous man in highsec.


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