Sunday, October 11, 2015

Kills of the Week

The New Order carries out a lot of responsibilities when it comes to highsec. All of the responsibilities, basically. But the duty we take most seriously is our duty to protect and defend highsec. Perhaps counterintuitively, that mostly involves killing people in highsec. Statecraft is complicated. Let's see how we did during the week of October 4th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 10th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

John Omaristos Omaristos is an interesting guy. His jump freighter came under an attack launched by two hyperdunking specialists, Agents Philipa and Faylee Freir. At this point, John convo'ed the bumper and told them to let him go, since he was an alt of a member of the Imperium. That would've been useful, had John been traveling through Imperium space instead of New Order space. The attack continued. Unfortunately for John, all of the Imperium's 40,000 members were busy doing other stuff at the time, and no one came to rescue him.

Upon opening the two dozen Plastic Wraps, our heroes discovered loot worth 30 billion isk, according to Evepraisal. Also, note from the killmail that the ship had plenty of jump fuel. You know how the theme park crowd is always begging CCP to give freighters more ways of defending themselves? Consider: John had the ability to teleport to safety and didn't bother using it. Some carebears can't be helped.

In recognition of the recent hyperdunking news, how about a hyperdunking double feature this week?

Ypsasieh Yug had 15 billion isk of ship and cargo, but no money to spare on fittings of any kind for his freighter. It must've been fate that he met up with Agent Faylee Freir, who was in the mood for more hyperdunking. But Faylee had a child to attend to IRL! What to do?

What a contrast with the carebears. They often excuse their AFK mining and hauling by claiming to take care of babies. Faylee managed to hyperdunk and take care of a baby simultaneously. When it comes to family values, no one beats the New Order.

It looked like Rolan Zes was going to be the victim of another by-the-numbers gank. After unsuccessfully space lawyering, his 4.9 billion isk Bowhead was soon destroyed. Suddenly, a plot twist--

Agent Wolf Soprano's Vigilant got top damage on the gank, because Rolan Zes inexplicably offered him a duel while the gank fleet was on its way. Huh? Now cue the dramatic music: As the Bowhead was about to explode, Rolan ejected from it and re-shipped into a proper combat ship. With the duel still active, he planned to turn the tables on Wolf Soprano.

Naturally, the result was that our Agent won the battle and destroyed Rolan's 3.6 billion isk Marauder. Like all of our Agents, Wolf Soprano loves to shoot ships that can shoot back, so it was a pleasure.

Rolan retreated in his pod, which was soon ganked for another 1.9 billion isk loss. In all, Rolan lost 10.4 billion isk. Maybe that's why most carebears don't try to come up with clever plans. You can't turn the tables against people who always win, and the CODE always wins.

Oops! Rohan Kashada was carrying around 33.7 billion isk worth of random garbage, and 0.00 billion isk worth of mining permits. That ratio needed improving. Agents BAE B BLUE, Gunther Cucs, Yabba Dabba Do, Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri, dude there's my-pod, Darnoth, Dirk Magnum, Bratok Srayona, Eva Mavas, TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet, Izzy Sunji, loyalanon, Vitalix Shouna, 0rigin, InferiDiii, Alicia Adler, rackarns, Flannery, Maddie Mcbumplug, mooking, Moogular, Knackered Old Goat, SynthiaGreey, Lillie Naari, Kyalla Ahashion, Melon Arbalabator, kaz89, BAE B PEW, Aaaarrgg, Mike Litorous, Tr4buc0, Ivy Kusoni, Brudal Aletheias, Nullus Modus, Daro Mozu, and Hista came to the rescue.

Most commenters on zKillboard agreed with the decision to terminate this vessel.

A lot of highsec dwellers have learned not to go autopiloting in a shuttle these days. But no one ever told Neverblu, who paid a 4.1 billion isk penalty for her ignorance. Agent PV Rock served as her executioner, and he patiently awaited a convo request.

The CODE always wins the argument. Always.


  1. There is no greater glory than killing over-entitled carebears in the name of our Supreme Protector!

  2. Another week of failure from AG!!!!

  3. Wow, 30 bil! What an amazing contribution to our cause!

    This is a great KOTW, I especially love the dash of grab bag tears!

    Astounding work folks, keep it going!

    And as for you silent anti-gankers, (I know you're still there) where were you at on these high value kills??? Your incompetence is funding us even better than our shareholders! Thank you for failing so hard!

    -Galaxy Pig

  4. Question from a non-JF owner: Can you cyno jump whilst targeted or scrammed?

    1. While targeted yes. Not while scrammed or pointed.

    2. And while being hyperdunked, the vast majority of the time you aren't being aggressed, much less pointed or scrammed

  5. Congrats on killing a succession of stupidity, ignorance, and foolishness.

    But if you're just killing the stupid, the ignorant, and the foolish, is that really a victory?
    I could drop dynamite into a Koi pond and claim I'm the greatest fisherman ever as I caught ALL the fish, but it's not true.

    You claim victory over these fools like you have accomplished great things.

    I shake my head at how pitiful you must be, if killing the incompetent is a challenge for you.

    1. Yeah, about as pitiful as someone who calls themselves "The Black Abbot". Haha very edgy dude, you even got that quasi-religious edginess going on.
      How much ISK do you make from your kills? Probably a lot less than these guys, and there is where you miss the point.

    2. Almost as pitiful as a group that claim "its not about the isk", and cry that miners/freighters "make to much isk", all while bragging about just how much they stole. Kinda ironic is it not?

    3. Miner, calm down. This is Elite PVP.
      You misunderstand when we say "its not about the ISK". Sure. We like ISK. But if it was all about making ISK we would just run AFK incursion fleets like our rich lawyer friend.
      When we proudly display how much ISK a player lost in honorable PVP, we are displaying the ISK that the player lost in order to show the EVE universe what not to do.

      Be the Gallant. Don't be the Goofus.

    4. Please show us on the doll where the mean catalyst touched you.

    5. Black Abbot,

      "I shake my head at how pitiful you must be, if killing the incompetent is a challenge for you."

      I challenge you to hyperdunk anything. Go. If it's so easy, even you can do it. Right?

    6. I believe we have found our new Veers. Welcome, Black Abbot!

  6. Not a goon freighter. Duh.

    1. No it was a goon. We all heard him say it! We got screenshots of every convo except that one but we're not making this up. We are NOT goon pets. Really we're not. You got to believe me! We always win, always win, always, ALWAYS!!! ha ha ha ha!

  7. And once again; the carebears and fail AG have observed the sabbath and waited to post their drivel until the day after.
    You know what these pilots did. You know why they died.

    1. Even when the Anti-Gankers appear you show them the be incompetent and uncoordinated. I don't understand how you can put down your opposition so low, then claim beating them is any kind of serious accomplishment.

      You're taking candy from babies, yet crow about your accomplishments as if you stormed the Gates of Hell itself. You rail about 'bot-aspirant behavior' yet you do something similar to steal a few shiny baubles.

  8. Thanks for the well wishes.

  9. I wonder if this kill will make it in next week..

    Apparently not even the Codes own structures can stand them.

  10. @ Blackabbot

    "Grrrr code!"


  11. go back to school and learn some grammar please.


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.