Monday, October 5, 2015

The Education of Qila McClusky, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agents Liek DarZ and Plasma Death made the acquaintance of a fail-fit Retriever pilot named Qila McClusky. Irritated at first, the gank recipient eventually seemed to absorb some advice about ship fittings, and she even became curious about how to acquire a mining permit. But the very next day, Qila was discovered mining illegally in Osmon, a popular ice mining system. When she was ganked for a second time, Qila raged in local.

Qila didn't bother with private convos. She wanted to turn the incident into a public referendum on the New Order and the Code itself.

Liek DarZ tried to reason with Qila, but she adamantly refused to accept the Code's prohibition against AFK mining.

The stakes were high. Osmon is a fairly well populated system, and everyone began watching local. Qila railed against the way EVE's PvE was designed. She hated the game mechanics, too. Maybe it was best that Qila quit, if she thought the game was that bad.

Liek encouraged Qila to stop using untanked Retrievers and buy a tanked Procurer. Once again, the miner refused to take any advice from our Agent. She hated the idea of flying a Procurer. She wouldn't be caught dead in one.

When Qila asked Liek to point to a "surviving Procurer" (by linking an anti-killmail, maybe?), sentiment in local turned in favor of our Agent.

As the conversation picked up steam, Qila casually mentioned that she wasn't a miner at all. She was really a prolific PvP'er who lost "hundreds" of ships. Yeah, it was obvious she didn't mind losing ships at all.

No matter how many times Liek or others in local offered Qila hints about how to mine safely, Qila refused to budge. She was a Goofus, through and through.

Earlier, Qila said that EVE's PvE was terribly designed and that she hated its game mechanics. Now, suddenly, she wished that it had millions more players because it was so amazing. Carebear logic.

Many carebears live in some kind of bizarro version of EVE that only exists in their imagination. In their minds, ganking is risk-free and highsec is too dangerous; PvP is too easy but highsec mining requires skill. In Qila's EVE, most players live outside of highsec. Also, no one has the power to boss you around in low/null/wormholes.

PvP expert Qila had a dilemma. The only way to afford PvP'ing was to spend all her EVE time engaged in AFK mining. Most carebears resolve this problem by not PvP'ing at all.

In Qila's mirror-universe EVE, highsec mining is the fastest way to make money. She admitted that she wasn't entitled to AFK income, but she wasn't willing to do anything else. But this still left an important question unanswered...

In a shocking twist, Qila revealed that she had known Agent Liek DarZ was in the system the whole time. In fact, she knew in advance that she was going to be ganked. It was all part of an elaborate trap--and Agent Liek had fallen right into it!

After nearly an hour of raging in Osmon local, Qila reaffirmed her decision to quit EVE. Could Liek DarZ somehow get this carebear to stop whining and start learning, even for a second? Or would CCP suffer the worst disaster since the time that other carebear quit?

To be continued...


  1. I don't know why people cry as much for losing a ship... Hello, it's Eve, lose a ship is the essense of eve.

  2. I appreciate rage mails as much as the next guy, but unless there's a surprise twist somewhere, they're not worth multipart blog posts.

    1. I suppose it really depends in whose judgement 'worth' is being considered. There have been similar comments following ALOD articles on TMC, and of course we all believe ourselves to be entitled to our opinions, don't we?

      For me, it's about entertainment; something about which it's impossible to be objective (unless you happen to be a sociologist or media analyst, of course).

      James 315 works hard to produce content for us on a daily basis. If he didn't get up in the morning and start writing and sifting all this material, we'd soon notice.

      How many times have you read the opening blog of yet another would-be EVE commentator, only to discover either that there was no blog-post number two, or that there were gaps of days weeks or even months between submissions?

      James continually astounds by producing both serious and humorous essays, weekly round-ups like KOTW, shareholder updates, features about and from our creatives, and serialised tales of every possible New Order activity. And he serves up this content daily, for our consumption - and enjoyment.

      Some stories are just too long to be given out in one go. So he has to take the thing and decide where exactly to make his breaks. Those breaks must come at places of naturally occurring drama, or the whole thing falls down. This is not at all easy.

      James must also balance the demands of the blog with those of his own life. It wouldn't surprise me at all if he produced some of these multi-part tales in periods of intense extended work, in order to give himself time to do other things.

      And if, now and then, he uses the time to just relax, I say he's earned it a million times over.

      Thank you, James 315, for your selfless and generous contribution to the game of EVE Online. Thanks also for the personal encouragement you've given me on those occasions when I've asked for advice or been unsure about a project. I appreciate it.

      There. I didn't mean to say all that, but what the hell.

    2. Miner, calm down. Write your own blog if you don't like it

  3. Personally I look forward to my daily Minerbumping read. As Sasha states, there are very few EVE blogs that update daily. So thank you James 315 for the content!

    1. The problem is that half of the daily content is a bunch of crap. Sometimes I think that DJ Entropy writes for the sake of writing.

    2. Lol.. might as well claim that JTClone Ares is Butthurt Miner. I, too can make outrageous claims with no basis whatsoever.

      Case in point, not one minerbumping post even hints at cats or anything cat-related. Do you even know DJ?

    3. I know of him. I also know he got drunk one night just after his meltdown here after code was banned from the AT. I also know that he was permabanned for participating in bonus rooms. Gorilla Vengaza got it out of him that he was behind the blog and not James. That's proof enough for me.

      JTClone Ares is Butthurt Miner? I don't think so. JTClone is an idiot. Butthurt Miner is a troll that's gone off the deep end, more than once, if his very colorful history is any indication of his mental state. Or her mental state. We just don't know.

    4. Furthermore, I think that Butthurt Miner just posts shit about people and himself just to see how people will respond. That crap about him being in his early 40s and didn't know what doxxing was? I think it was a put on to get a bunch of laughs at our expense. He reminds me of an extreme version of the class clown, someone who will deliberately make himself out to be a fool or an idiot just to get people to laugh at him for his own amusement. Most of the time, Butthurt Miner does post stuff that is predictable. However, he has been known to post stuff that nobody would expect.

      Things like accusing James 315 of being a cannibal, so James 315's motivation for creating the NO was for agents to feed him corpses to keep his rear glowing. The one post about James 315 being molested by a Catholic priest being posted under the name Miner Bumping. I think that was BM as well.

      We know nothing about BM. We don't even know his/her gender, but we assume that the troll is a he.

    5. I had heard about the cannibal thing. Pretty sure that one is true. Plus we all know James' ass glows. So there you go.

  4. I'm all about providing remedial education for carebears!

  5. I wonder if it is too late to get Quila's stuff?

    1. I biomassed Qila in order to focus on worm mining with my main. you sociopaths won't ever find me again.

  6. Quality tears there bud. Maybe try learning the game and HTFU.

  7. qila I heard you passed Chile in quantity of salt exported per year. these are quality tears friend

  8. "Tears for souvenirs are all you left me...."

    ...perhaps my shortest comment ever?

  9. meh seems made up

  10. 3 month old toons are their specialty.

  11. Ganking is a one handed affair after all, so yes they do get VERY worked up. You should try being on comms with them... horrible.

    Except for Loyal, He ganks with three hands...O_o


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