Sunday, October 18, 2015

Kills of the Week

As expected, this is the regularly scheduled Kills of the Week post, covering kills from the week of October 11th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 17th @ 23:59 EVEtime. Carebears, I know I've told you this before, but today I'd really, really like to encourage you to get your mining permit. It's not only about ensuring safe passage through my territory; it's about your identity. Who are you, carebear?

Are you like Collien Vuorsi, who was scammed into failing two courier contracts with collateral totaling 11.6 billion isk? Or, to put it another way, whose team are you on?

Be honest, carebear. Would you rather be on the FEANOR Special Team or the COHENBERG Special Team? Even among the Anti-Gankers who read this, I know you get a forbidden thrill out of seeing X-FEANOR get ganked. And to have the Cohenberg alts form a corporation called COHENBERG Special Team for the sole purpose of ganking him? Delicious. That's right, I can sense through the computer screen that sly smile of yours slowly forming on your face. That's your long-suppressed ganker instinct coming out. Embrace it.

Yes, ol' X-FEANOR was at it again. After licking his wounds from this past September, X-FEANOR finally returned to the Uedama area and lost a 9.1 billion isk freighter. He was given a hearty New Order welcome from Agents Stanley Cohenberg, OogaBooga WhereDa FreighterAt, Sherman Cohenberg, Strom Cohenberg, Ben Li, Silvester Cohenberg, JerryRin AT2016 Commentator, Straight Up Dominated, Sasha Cohenberg, Sterling Cohenberg, Get Well Soon, and Stein Cohenberg.

Where was Anti-Ganking during all of this? Getting ganked themselves. Would-be rebel leader Rusell somehow managed to lose a nearly 600 million isk cruiser when he was popped by Agent Nicolas Dupre. This gank happened the previous week, but I imagine it still stings.

Chris Amelana made some peculiar fitting choices with his hauler. He sacrificed tank in favor of cargo space and speed. His capacitor size was also given priority. Maybe Chris was struggling with EVE's learning cliff, but even a newbie can transfer 10 million isk. Agent HotShotX Warcastle blew up Chris' industrial, costing the carebear 1.2 billion isk. Sadly, a PLEX was in the cargohold.

docta jones had a little bit of everything on his blingy 2.7 billion isk Vargur. Everything except a mining permit, that is. This was an unfortunate oversight, since Code-compliance is the only known hard counter to highsec ganking. At this point, ships that can't shoot back have a better chance of beating our Agents at PvP. Regardless, the Vargur lost its epic battle against Agents Sophia Soprano, loyalanon, and loyal anon.

Vlad Sanguis didn't want to risk mining in an expensive Mackinaw or Hulk, so he opted for an affordable Retriever instead. Then he spent 322 million isk on fittings for the Retriever. Sometimes I wonder how much time these carebears actually expend on designing their ship fits. For instance, how long did it take Vlad to decide to equip that Sentry Damage Augmentor rig? Did he consider other options? Agent Ilithyia Borgia offered some constructive criticism with a few volleys of antimatter.

Jumpi Arbasa has the perfect corporation name for a bot-aspirant: CRY.NET! Agents Martyr Oira and Capt Starfox devoured her 2.4 billion isk pod following the destruction of Jumpi's 831 million isk Bustard. "CRY.NET". Now it all makes sense.


  1. A Permit today keeps the Gankers away.

  2. LOL kills featuring all our favorite New Order Agents! HotShot, Illythia, Martyr, Starfox, Dupre, Cohenberg... I sleep well at night knowing they are defending our Highsec.

    1. Take extreme caution when approaching X-FEANOR. He is unarmed and extremely bot-aspirant!

  3. Clearly when CODE wins, everyone wins.

  4. So Blackabbot, you like what we do and will stop shedding subtle, subtextual tears on our blog?

    -Galaxy Pig

  5. I have no love of stupidity, foolishness, or AFK morons. Anyone that walks away from the captain's chair, for any reason, outside a station, is taking a risk. Sometimes they get lucky, sometimes not, and I hate listening to idiots who think they deserve special protection from reality.

    That said, I think CODE is a joke, and a bad one at that. CODE basically beats-up toddlers and think that makes them the King of the PvP hill. CODE isn't the King, and while they 'win' they're not involved in competition that they have any risk of losing.

    The miners, hauler, and bling-fit mission runners can't fight. The anti-gank crowd aren't any better. So really, who are you beating? You harvest tears better then anyone, and have the greenest killboard in the cluster, but so what? You're not risking anything, you can't possibly fail, so saying you're 'winning' or engaged in 'elite PvP' is pathetic.

    CODE are pirates, plain and simple. They are pirates wrapped up in a personality cult around one specific individual. That individual has an original, if delusional, spin on his place in the world which was funny the first few threads. Now it's just really annoying.

    You can call these "tears" if you want, but they're not. I call the replies I get from angry agents "butthurt". I'm just trying to knock a little sense into CODE on the forums since none of them have come after me, or given me a reason to use my guns on them.

    Of course, I build things and play the markets so I don't care if you wax my completion.

  6. Sorry, what 'sense' are you trying to knock into them?

  7. I'm taking this as: "No, I will not stop crying about grrrCode/goons while all the time insisting that what they do doesn't bother me at all, and that I've never lossed anything to them. I will not stop shedding ~super cool internet tough-guy tears~ here, or on EVE-O."



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