Saturday, October 31, 2015

The Hero from Lowsec, Part 1

Bing Bangboom > Miner of Kino ! By choosing to mine in this New Order system you have agreed to follow the New Halaima Code of Conduct.
Bing Bangboom >
Bing Bangboom > Each miner must have a one year mining permit, available from any Agent of the New Order for 10,000,000 ISK.
Bing Bangboom > Any miner without a permit is subject to bumping or ganking.
You hear that? It's the sound of Order being established.

Agent Bing Bangboom was among the first to join the New Order. He's seen carebears do a lot of crazy, bot-aspirant stuff over the years, yet he has never for one second lost faith in highsec's potential. He remains absolutely convinced that highsec is worth fighting for.
Nero Jove > Bing doesnt your constant citing of your cult leaders rhetoric get old?
Nero Jove > for you i mean
Nero Jove > certainly old for me
Bing Bangboom > Miners complain that they haven't been asked to buy a permit before they die.
Bing Bangboom > I don't want anyone to not understand what's going on here.
A rebel popped up, making some complaints about the local Code enforcement in Kino. Bing effortlessly dismissed the carebear's hypocrisy and resumed his important work.
Bing Bangboom > Kill: Leiah0 Skywalkah (Retriever) no permit.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > new halaima code of conduct really?
Bing Bangboom > its all at
Leiah0 Skywalkah > i already read it. one sexually frustrated mans attempt at making himself feel important on the internet
Leiah0 Skywalkah > eventually this world is going to be gone and none of this shit is going to matter
After being penalized for mining without a license, Leiah0 Skywalkah wasted no time in giving voice to her nihilism. Billions of years from now, the loss of her Retriever--and everything else--will have been meaningless. What a downer. Is holding to such a philosophy worth it, just to avoid paying for a 10 million isk permit?
Bing Bangboom > Leiah0 Skywalkah it matters now
Bing Bangboom > and has, for the last three years
Bing Bangboom > Welcome to the future!
Leiah0 Skywalkah > no it doesnt' i could quit eve lol
Bing Bangboom > Why do miners think that threatening to quit means anything to anybody?
Robbed of the ability to mine in highsec without a permit, Leiah0 was almost ready to quit the game forever. Bing was unmoved. His eyes were on the prize: 100% Code-compliance in Kino.
Nero Jove > well bing if large numbers of people quit this game amid slow downs in recruiting new players then it is lost for everyone that enjoyed it
Nero Jove > so douche bag behavior is NOT wanted
Nero Jove > so to dumb it down quit being a douche bag
Bing Bangboom > its players that think they can siddle up next to an asteroid in a 35 million ISK ship, start the lasers and then go do the laundry who are killing Eve.
Bing Bangboom > We are saving highsec and Eve at the same time.
Nero Jove > ear plugs going in
As usual, the rebels disengaged once Bing won the debate. EVE isn't the only thing that carebears quit when they lose.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > and i wasnt' doing laundry either
Bing Bangboom > you were AFK
Leiah0 Skywalkah > you want me to orbit or some shit
Leiah0 Skywalkah > and the no language are you muslim?
Leiah0 Skywalkah > because i just purchased this ship and was in disbelief
Still reeling from her loss, Leiah0 struggled to understand what had happened. She surmised that Islam might've had something to do with it.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > if i wanted to get mirked i'd go to low sec
Bing Bangboom > I mean, you come into a New Order system... and then do the specific thing we don't allow....
Bing Bangboom > it was sort of inevitable.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > you're making it impossible for people to get established and preying on the same people
Bing Bangboom > only bot aspirants.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > you're already doing a shitty thing
It had been seven months since Leiah0 joined EVE, and she was still trying to master the art of highsec mining. Another example of the New Order picking on newbies.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > where can i go to seek refuge from the halaima code
Bing Bangboom > well, we are the New Order of Highsec... so.
Bing Bangboom > leave highsec
W0lf Crendraven > lol
W0lf Crendraven > as if
W0lf Crendraven > you guys suck
W0lf Crendraven > and do nothing
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a mysterious champion appeared. W0lf Crendraven happened to be passing through Kino on his way back from lowsec. His indignation was mightily aroused by Bing's uncouth treatment of Leiah0 Skywalkah.
Leiah0 Skywalkah > whatever im just going to leave kino lol
W0lf Crendraven > if they bump you or gank you just pick another highsec syste
W0lf Crendraven > a few jumps away
Leiah0 Skywalkah > thanks are you in a corp wolf?
W0lf Crendraven > yes
Bing Bangboom > I suggest Kamio
W0lf Crendraven > Vii- belt 6, come and duel me m8
Bing Bangboom > duel? How quaint
W0lf advised his young charge that the New Order lacked the manpower to patrol more than a small number of systems; a few jumps in any direction would see her safely delivered from their clutches. The grateful carebear offered her thanks to her unexpected rescuer. But W0lf's work wasn't done yet. He aimed to put a stop to Agent Bing's villainy once and for all. W0lf challenged Bing to a duel. At stake was the honour of Leiah0 Skywalkah and the rest of Kino's miners.

To be continued...


  1. Once more unto the breach!

    Go get 'em, bing!

    -Galaxy Pig

  2. This is gonna end well. XD

  3. Replies
    1. No Halloween candy without a permit, sorry.

  4. I'd like to see you enforce that one, fool...

    1. miner, calm down

    2. I guess he couldn't enforce that, I have no permit and I got lots of Holloween candy...

  5. BBB, renowned for his 'Cry Havoc and Let Slip the Dogs of War' saga, is a true hero of Highsec. I am proud to have fought by his side upon the bleak icefields of Kamio. We followed our Supreme Protector into battle, slaying miners in droves. Alas, my glory days are behind me. But not so for stalwart Bing!

    1. BeBopAreBop RhubarbPieNovember 1, 2015 at 8:29 PM

      Flying with BBB lead to one of the greatest experiences of my eve career. Walking into a 2v3 and killing a barghest with no losses. I wish I could remember what the other two ships involved were.

  6. does this blog just run on a loop???? because every time i bother to look in here it's exactly the same thing the only thing that changes is the names of the gankers and their victims ??

    1. Link your hisec miner killing blog please....

    2. Since ancient times, literature has always had a few fundamental themes. The fight of good against evil, the laudation of certain moral standards, the adventures of great individuals in the face of adversity. You could say the same about literature in general - why does it run on a loop? What new is there between the works of Rowling, Shakespear and Homer?

      Nothing. And everything, at the same time. Some concepts never grow old, since they are the epitome of what humanity should aspire to be.

    3. Anonymous November 1, 2015 at 2:14 AM

      thats the answer i expected something along the lines of the juvenile "i know i am but what are you" theme, well done.

    4. Anonymous November 1, 2015 at 8:36 AM

      now thats a proper reply, kudos sir!!

      good literature has many twists turns and nuances of all kinds woven into it's pages,this storyline unfortunately does not, find miner to kill,kill miner, publish miner tears, that would constitute a loop i believe.
      but keep up the good work code despite what some say you do and are making a difference to our wonderful game(for good or bad)

    5. Lots of tears about nothing. Even more win!

  7. That's a lot of text for a Retriever kill. Way to go. Do the code carebears ever leave highsec?

    1. Reading Comprehension TutorNovember 2, 2015 at 9:03 PM

      Which part of "New Order of Highsec" is unclear to you?

      Or were you AFK at your reading classes too?

  8. Bonus point for using "quaint" in your convo; well done.
    Education takes many forms, I see.


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.