Saturday, October 24, 2015

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #91

Concerned rebel onlookers often ask, "Why doesn't anyone stop the New Order? Surely it can't be because of their greatness or their Code." To defeat the New Order, the rebels would first need to come up with a plan. Now it seems they've got one:

Elite PvP'ers from Provi and highsec jump bridges? That can only mean it's time for another edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

DrysonBennington has his secret weapons, and we have ours: DDoS attacks employed with such surgical precision that they only disconnect a single freighter pilot.

Anti-Ganking was infuriated when they learned that the New Order wasn't going to help them fund an event. It's just as well. Anything that comes from Anti-Ganking, no matter how well-intentioned, is bound to be toxic.

Ever wonder why you can send a personalized message when you notify someone that you're adding them as a contact? I'm convinced that it's intended as another tear distribution mechanism.

Tom Omaristos was displeased when his illegal mining operation was terminated by a member of the Proper Mining Etiquette corporation.

Agent Street Urchin arrived not a moment too soon. Tom desperately needed to go to finishing school.

However, Tom saw little value in etiquette, and he had no patience for social climbers.

But the New Order doesn't believe in dynasties or aristocratic privilege. In modern highsec, every miner can aspire to become a Gallant.

A nihilistic carebear declared that highsec belongs to nobody. Actually, highsec belongs to all of us, and therefore we all share a responsibility to make it a better place. That's why everyone agreed--or was deemed to have agreed--to comply with a set of rules. Didn't this guy ever read the Code? This is exactly why carebears needed a responsible person to vote as their proxy.

Romulis Blakk claimed his pod was defenseless. He must have forgotten about his pod's ability to instantly warp away whenever threatened. No wonder he lost the duel.

It's a pleasure to watch highsec become more Code compliant each day. Limay Greyjoy demonstrated proper etiquette when greeted by an Agent in local. The benefits of civilization are well worth our efforts.

The notorious Lisanna struss, notable for his resistance to the Code, charming sister, and checkered espionage career, has had a change of heart. A pattern has emerged among the former rebels: The more they think, and the less they mindlessly grind isk, the more likely they are to realize that we're the good guys. Time is on our side.


  1. Dryson Bennington... every time I hear that name it takes me back to Gamis.

  2. The CODE is beautiful, noble, and inspiring. And it take so little to follow and embrace... just common sense.

  3. These Code dudes sound like a bunch of coupon shopping starbucks milk stirring housewives! XD XD XD

  4. 91 Grab Bags!!! I'm counting down to the big One Double Oh.

    Great work, Agents!

  5. All of AG are nice guys. Telegram Sam was trying to communicate to you in your own language.

    What he doesn't know is that you guys are actually out of money since those last few freighter ganks have failed epicly.Sam is partially to blame for that too since he is one of our best warriors.

  6. No man your wrong, at least about the money thing. They aren't ganking freighters anymore cause the expensive loot pinatas are all using the new jump bridges.

  7. Will you look at that.. Another former miner, who realized the path of the mining laser was unequivocally wrong, and changed his ways to be compliant with The Code.

    What say you to that, anti-gankers?

    It's only a matter of time before every citizen of James 315 space starts hunting for you! Code compliance awaits!

  8. Time to pack it in because Code is broke XD XD 87bil isnt enough to gank freighters anymore XD XD

  9. Wait a minute, I thought we were directly funded by all those 10bux memberships to the somethingawful forums? I thought the ludicrous wealth of our goon overlords was so overpowering that it's actually created an imbalance in the game design that CCP needs to address.

    Which one is it, Carebears?!?!? Are we the 1%ers keeping you down, or are we about to go bankrupt?

    -Galaxy Pig

  10. I used to hate code.
    I thought Wolf Soprano had a small penis and was a complete jerk-arse.
    Then I relaxed, took a step back and realised that you can play this game a few different ways...
    You can work with the movers and shakers, or, you can try and work against the movers and shakers.
    The movers and shakers are by definition usually well-organised and creative, with good technical skills to back it up. The rest tend to be disorganised, and not committed to a definite cause.
    So, if you are a rabid anti-ganker, dedicated to the defeat of code, take a deep breath, have a cup of herbal tea and lie down for a while. When you get up you might realise that you will not beat them. Look for ways to benefit from their actions. Learn from their above average game-play and try not to get too emotionally invested in this game.
    By the way, I don't play eve anymore. I'm just bored and thought I'd take a look at miner-bumping for old times sake.
    If I ever come back to the game, you can bet that I will be applying to code because I've done everything else and believe me when I tell you , they are the ones having most of the fun in the game.

  11. Just giving you guys the credit you deserve.
    The only way you will be stopped is if ccp makes it so.
    But that won't happen while the havoc you are causing sells more plex six-packs than ccp's best sales campaigns.


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.