Sunday, February 22, 2015

Kills of the Week

The New Order is motivated by many things. Near the top of the list: generosity. If we were only concerned with maximizing profits, we would require everyone in highsec to buy many different kinds of permits. Instead, we only require the purchase of a single, infinitely versatile permit--and at a cost of only 10 million isk per year. On that note, it's worth considering the fact that bot-aspirancy is a disease that also takes many forms. The New Order is committed to combating all of them. For examples, consider these kills from the week of February 15th @ 00:00 EVEtime through February 21st @ 23:59 EVEtime.

It was a bad week for bot-aspirant haulers: At least 34 freighters and jump freighters were killed by the New Order. It's pretty obvious that Fp X288 was a bot-aspirant from the moment he chose (or had a computer randomly generate) his character name. Armed only with the assumption that highsec is 100% safe, he put everything he owned into an anti-tanked jump freighter and threw himself into Uedama. He lost over 14 billion isk. How's that 10 million isk permit looking now?

Agents Dirk Magnum, Rakeris, Noll Kion, Nullus Modus, Matou83, Globby, Jean Pagette, Sasha Cohenberg, Jason Kusion, Gunther Cucs, Chocolate Mooses, Burt Plug, Lament von Gankenheim, The Occidental, Oda Nobunaga, Dave Gelinas, Ghuleh Idolatrine, Lisa Tears, ChickenChow Meow, Carter Reichard, PuffPuff Passitleft, and YA0-XJ Beacon performed this impressive kill.

Oof. jonnie katz Armer didn't understand that there's a difference between versatility and chaos. His faction battleship fit can only be described by the latter term. And yes, that's a hull repairer in the mids. He went for a shield/armor/hull tank and succeeded at protecting none of them. He should've tried a permit tank. Agents Sasha Cohenberg, Braggs Seyllin, Grumps McGee, Jasion Kusion, Dio Marte, Mildron Klinker, Jimmy Papotte, Nooblet McNoob, Matt18001, Matou83, Allan Vyvorant, Rakeris, Samsa, and SrKotova brought this monster to its proper end.

Is it possible to be a PvP'er and a bot-aspirant at the same time? You wouldn't think so, but Immersed corporation's 9 Oracles were spotted attacking a POS while completely AFK. An AFK PvP fleet! I appreciate a good highsec POS bashing as much as anyone, but the assumption that one's fleet would be invulnerable to counterattack while AFK? That's bot-aspirancy. Agents Anti-Ganker and hellyeaz systematically ganked all nine Oracles and all nine of their pods!

Law Offices of Philly D Lawyer corp was given fair warning when Agent Rollotamasi told them to get compliant with the Code before they started setting up POCOs in New Order territory. According to our Agent,

"Did Philadelphia lawyer recognize the error of his ways and fall under the warm embrace of CODE? Unfortunately no. Instead he hires Failed Diplomacy to fight me off over 44 days of glorious destruction. Failed Corp and Fluffeh Bunneh Murder Squad join the war over time pitting 70+ toons versus one CODE agent...CODE victory was certain at this point of course.

"Of course my aggressors did not realize their loss was at hand. Instead they busied themselves with wonderment... Why would I continue to buy and pit my ships against overwhelming odds? Isn't it all a waste of time and isk? Won't I run out of isk eventually?"

The New Order won the day. Forsaken Asylum forces teamed up with Agent Rollotamasi--flying under the banner of the THE CODE ALWAYS WINS corporation--and took down the POCOs. Proper POCOs were put up in their place.

Mining Endeavour corporation was another group this week that learned the cost of failure to pay its dues to the authority of highsec. Its assets went unprotected, since the miners couldn't be bothered. They assumed all their stuff was 100% safe in highsec, regardless of whether there was an active POS shield or not. The New Order cared more about Mining Endeavour's equipment than they did. Agents Mildron Klinker and Zane Arnolles made good use of the hyperdunking technique to tear down the miners' structures. In one SMA, over 2 billion isk of ships and equipment were confiscated. Just two Agents with a bunch of hyperdunk-ready Catalysts were able to inflict over 4 billion isk of damage. Naturally, the carebears were AFK when it all went down.

Barbarella B bought into the conventional wisdom that highsec travel is perfectly safe, even if AFK. She boarded a Leopard and went on autopilot. Agent Haleuth taught her a surprising lesson about the dangers of traversing New Order territory without a decent respect for the Code.

5.4 billion isk later, Barbarella had fewer implants--but hopefully a bit more sense.


  1. Code always looses at the game, always!!


  2. The Code ALWAYS wins!!!! ALWAYS!!!!

  3. Hush pocket repeat, aka ming.
    Code always looses at the game, always has and always will, always!!

    1. Your statement is based on my statement. Therefore, I win. And being a New Order Agent, that means the Code wins, as well.

      *takes a victory lap around the ring, gloves raised in victory*

    2. Yo ming, your arrogance is showing...

    3. all i see is high sec losers (both sides of the fence )

    4. The fact any of you are here day after day shows how much of an effect we're having and the views are only getting higher! Snigie

    5. I wonder, does this person realize that the word they're looking for is "loses", not "looses"? Is the misspelling intentional, do you think? Or perhaps English is their second language? Whatever the case may be, it's downright bot-aspirant that they've kept the same spelling error, uncorrected and unexamined, for more than a month at this point. You'd think someone would have told them by now...

    6. "Maria MalukkerFebruary 23, 2015 at 12:50 PM"
      Lying is even worse and Code are the best liars in the entire game.

    7. Code hasn't ever lied, as far as I can tell. Where's the lie in "You must pay me 10 million isk and follow the Code or else you will be at increased risk of your ship being bumped or ganked?"

      That's straight-up Truth right there

      And while we're at it, why is lying, (in a game where deceit, treachery, and villainy are considered out-and-out "features,") a bad thing?

    8. "Ming TsoFebruary 23, 2015 at 1:43 PM"
      When you are lying like you did about the reports you never opened the organisation you represents do the same.
      That means both you and the Code go against your own rules...

    9. Good grief, but you miners get repetitive. You've made it clear by now that you refuse to read the Code, EllipseAnon. Yet you claim to know enough of it to know that our noble Agents are contradicting the rules laid down in said Code. And you expect people to take you seriously, just because you spend all day every day lurking in the minerbumping comment sections? It'd be such a better use of your time to use even a tiny fraction of the time you spend lurking, actually reading the Code and meditating on its deeper implications. This, this thing you're doing right's not helping you, us, or anyone. Why not invest some of your time in an activity that might actually benefit you in some way instead?

      This pointless bitching
      Will not bring you clarity
      Read the Code instead

    10. This this thing? (run everyone!! Maria has caught the ming double word bug!!!!)

    11. Ladies and gentlemen; The effects of bot-aspirancy.

      -Aphasia: The inability to form words or sentences caused by damage to the brain.
      -Projection: The practice of defending oneself from unpleasant impulses by denying their existence in themselves, while attributing them to others.
      -Insanity: The practice of doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result each time.

      Good thing the New Order has a solution! Code-compliance!
      For only 10 million isk, and following Dr. James's formula, you too can beat these horrible symptoms and get your life back on track!

    12. @Anon4:08

      That's not a mistake
      Commas show separation
      I'm still smug as fuck

    13. A repetition
      of a word shows emphasis
      So calm down, miner

    14. "Maria MalukkerFebruary 23, 2015 at 4:03 PM"
      A liar tries to protect another liar, how cute.
      But it's still a fact that you are two liars that belongs to a bunch of liars in EVE-
      Don't even need to read your fake documents to know you go against them as soon as it please you.
      Liars in game and out of game, doesn't sound healthy if you ask me.

    15. @Anon6:49

      Again, (you still didn't answer this,) what's wrong with being a liar in a game where lying is a featured game mechanic?

      Do you believe in telling the truth at all times, without exception?
      And do you believe that once you lie, you cannot tell the truth?

      I mean you lied.. about your so-called "economy reports." You railed on (and continue to rail) about these, but you haven't provided any evidence- not even a single link- to back up your claim that they even exist. My claim that EVE is doing better now than it was doing after Incarna dropped was verifiably true, and my "economy reports" exist and have been verified.

      Do you think it might be more correct to say you are the liar here?

    16. "Don't need to read your fake documents to know you go against them"

      Now you're just being silly, miner@6:49. Do you also "know" that you won't like food which you've never tried? That's the level of silliness you're indulging in here. How can you know that our behavior is contrary to the Code, if you don't know what behavior would be contrary to the Code?

  4. Hyperdunking POS structures! Brilliant! Man, hyperdunking is my favorite recent example of "unintended game mechanics" being utilized by Eve's players for fun and profit.

  5. Expensive implants
    Won't exempt you from the Code
    Nothing can do that

  6. There are many thing that can exempt one from following such thrash as the are just too narrow minded to see them, maria...

    1. Please enlighten me on these so called "thing" that except carebears from following The Code, which allow them to escape our Agents' retribution, and still "play the game as they choose."

      I'd say it takes a pretty narrow mind to be directly offered a guaranteed way to salvation, but still be crawling around on your hands and knees in the mud looking for a way out. That's ignorance.

    2. The "Kills of the Week"
      show the fate of all those who
      think themselves exempt

    3. @Anonymous McChickenshit (8:03 AM)

      "such thrash as the code"? Don't get me wrong, I like a bit of Metallica or Slayer, but I think of the Code more as being mellow jazz, because being Code-compliant is such a laid back and chill way to be.

  7. Replies
    1. Probably mining red crosses, bragging about how he has whole *hundreds* of millions of isk saved up. Y'know, just carebear things.

    2. AG is finished, Veers has quit the game and AG totally failscaded. Some say Veers went back to Hello Kitty, others believe he's got an important lawyering case to defend socialpathic miners who kill and rape in RL


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