Wednesday, February 4, 2015

The Most Honourable Pirate in Highsec, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Ellie Alvarsson saw an Enyo go suspect. Thinking her Dominix was more than enough to easily pop the puny assault frigate, Ellie opened fire. But Zosius was an Agent of the New Order. He turned the tables, ransoming 150 million isk from the battleship-flying carebear. Agent Andouille Sausage stopped by and helped convince Ellie to buy a permit.

It was an extraordinary turn of events. When Ellie's battleship fired upon the lowly Enyo, she couldn't have imagined that she would soon be buying a permit from her intended prey.
Ellie Alvarsson > there's another 10 million
Ellie Alvarsson > now let me go
Zosius > 10mil confirmed
Zosius > permit approved
Then came the big question: Would Zosius indeed honour the 150 million isk ransom payment and release the Dominix? Ellie asked to be let go more times than Moses.

Cynical carebears had no doubt that Zosius would find some excuse to kill the Dominix anyway. But they were wrong. In spite of Ellie's hostile attitude, Zosius honoured the ransom and deactivated his warp disruptor. The honourable Agent did so out of honour. Now that Ellie was free, she had the opportunity to express her gratitude.
Zosius > bio is on, you are free to go
Ellie Alvarsson > I'm actually astonished how terrible of people you are
Ellie Alvarsson > honestly
Ellie Alvarsson > I assume you put a screenshot of it on your website
Ellie Alvarsson > to show off the people you humiliate and steal from
The carebear had repeatedly voiced her skepticism about Zosius' honour. But even after Zosius proved it by releasing her, she was unimpressed.
Andouille Sausage > There is a reason behind it.
Andouille Sausage > And it's a good reason or I, for one, wouldn't be doing it.
Andouille Sausage > You fly safely, and uphold the code.
Ellie Alvarsson > you did it because you saw an opportunity to either steal salvage from a mission runner or steal from them and humiliate them like you did me
Andouille Sausage > Pleasure meeting you.
Now the Dominix pilot felt that she had been humiliated. Presumably she wouldn't have felt humiliated had she won the battle against the Enyo.
Zosius > We saw an opportunity to familiarizie you with the CODE
Zosius > there is no shame in that, only honor
Ellie Alvarsson > congratulations, I've been killed before in lowsec but those people were just doing pvp
Ellie Alvarsson > today, I got to meet a group of sociopaths
Ellie Alvarsson > and have them steal all my shit
Ellie Alvarsson > and humiliate myself
Because her Dominix was defeated by the lowly assault frigate, and because the battle she initiated took place in highsec, Ellie thought it wasn't "PvP".
Andouille Sausage > Again, sociopaths don't enjoy what they do.
Ellie Alvarsson > and you do
Andouille Sausage > I do.
Ellie Alvarsson > because you pay money every month to do exactly that
Andouille Sausage > I like helping people understand the game.
Andouille Sausage > Because I know they will enjoy it more after they do.
Agent Andouille attempted to help Ellie understand a different point of view. This went nowhere. It seemed that Ellie couldn't see past her defeat.
Ellie Alvarsson > how many people have you made quit this community?
Ellie Alvarsson > because I started that mission less than five minutes before you showed up
Ellie Alvarsson > meaning you were waiting for me
Andouille Sausage > This is about EVE.
Andouille Sausage > We just showed you what this "community" really is.
Andouille Sausage > What its nature is.
Andouille Sausage > Now you may or may not wish to be a part of such a place.
Then Ellie went down the well-trodden "EVE is losing subscribers" path. Our Agents were amazed. How would this carebear have reacted, had her Dominix been destroyed instead of let go?
Ellie Alvarsson > griefing and calling it content?
Ellie Alvarsson > content is fleet pvp, roams, exploring, and war
Ellie Alvarsson > not highsec griefing
Ellie Alvarsson > but of course you're going to bust out the old "ANYTHING GOES LOL" card
Ellie Alvarsson > and use it to justify being a shitty person
Ellie Alvarsson > I'm not saying what you do goes against the TOS
Ellie Alvarsson > I'm saying what you do is exactly what only a shitty human being woul do
Despite the fact that the ransom had been honoured, and despite the fact that she was only upset because she lost the fight she'd started, Ellie delivered a lecture about how disgraceful it is to shoot ships in highsec.

It became clear that purchasing a mining permit from the New Order hadn't improved Ellie's attitude one bit.

Finally, the Dominix pilot used the freedom granted her by Zosius to leave the system in a huff. All in all, it was a powerful demonstration of the effect bot-aspirancy can have on an EVE player. Ellie only cared about grinding isk in total safety. Even when she chose to open fire on another ship--one she'd assumed was an underdog--she still felt entitled to absolute safety. Making her lose the battle was "griefing", not "PvP". Something only a "shitty human being" would do.

The carebear experienced something very few EVE players ever will: Paying a ransom and actually being let go. (After insulting the person who held her ship captive, no less.) Ellie's good fortune didn't change her opinion of Zosius. In fact, being released only made her angrier. Putting it mildly, Ellie wasn't an optimist.

More proof of the importance and nobility of our mission--and the truth of the Code.


  1. Wow, Ellie needs to learn how to keep her damn mouth shut. I wouldn't have blamed those agents if they had destroyed her ship after all her backtalk or wardecced her corp using the money she gave them, lol.

    1. Not paying attention eh?
      Ellie's in NPC corp.

    2. I guess I wasn't.

  2. Such noble Agents
    Generous, and forgiving
    Speak well of the Code

  3. No killmail!? Ellie Alvarsson is in need of further education.

    1. "Alana Charen-TengFebruary 4, 2015 at 9:02 PM"
      And you need a bigger dildo...

  4. This was an incident of griefing and it started when the goofus agent decided to go into her mission and steal, hoping she would shoot so that he could do what he did...

    1. Actually the Agent was simply cleaning mess the Carebear left. Tough job, but somebody needs to do it.

    2. @9:41pm Oh no, surely not a pirate in an online space piracy game. The horror! Worse than hitler! Think of the children!

    3. @10:33 that is a false argument, the person was not done, it is clearly an attempt to grief the individual and nothing less...

    4. @Anon9:41
      Does the Agent's "stealing," as you call it, justify the carebear's decision to engage a frigate with a battleship? Should the carebear have won that fight?

      It appears as if you are calling for CCP to change the rules of combat to say:

      "In High security space, any weapon activation on a capuleer with a suspect timer will now result in the immediate destruction of the suspect's ship, regardless of the weapon or ship used."

      Is this the position you advocate?

    5. That's BS 10:33 and you know it. For one thing most missions runners salvage and loot their missions for the extra money I sure do. The wrecks also despawn from space in 2 hours if nothing is done to them.

      It's usually best to just ignore mission griefers.

    6. So, all those anti-environment guys, you're OK with wrecks polluting space for "just 2 hours" eh? Now multiply these two hours by number of mission-runners who don't care to clean up after themselves and you get what? Hundreds of thousands, if not millions of those wrecks floating in space, endangering all spacefarers.

      "the person was not done".. Phew. We, in New Order, do not wait for the persons to be "done". Not while mining the asteroids, not while running the missions. One should be tidy at all times!

    7. You're just being silly.

    8. I bet you're one of those guys throwing cigarette butts out of car's window. Shame on you!

    9. There is where you are crying WOLF, ming...The agent was griefing pure and simple...but the mission runner should have smelled a rat...I did when it happened to me and the griefer ended up being the one crying in local...and I did not shoot him either...

    10. @Anon 2:02
      You didn't answer my question. Are you advocating the position that this battleship that legally aggressed the Agent in this story should have won the fight, by virtue that he "technically was the victim," and therefore his weapons should have possessed the power to destroy the Agent's ship, regardless of what the Agent was flying?

    11. Complaining about PvP, ganks, and scamming in Eve is like complaining about zombies in H1Z1 or Day Z.

  5. HI guys,

    I've made so much isk looting your wrecks I feel I owe you something in return.

    I have made so much isk , heres what I'm gonna do......... ( please sing along to the tune of Dennis Leary's song, 'Asshole'.

    Tonight I'm gonna buy myself a brand new high yield, anti-tanked mackinaw, 'HOT PINK!",

    then I'm gonna find myself a high-sec ice-belt,

    and I'm gonna fly that baby out there,

    at 3x warp speed,

    and when I get there ,

    I'm gonna go AFK and suck that ice belt dry,

    and when I'm done suckin' dry that belt,

    I'm gonna pleasure myself with Loyalanon's cold, dead corpse,

    and there ain't a damn thing anyone can do about it....

    you know why?,,

    cos I got your isk ,

    that's why...

    P.S. Keep up the good work

    1. Your favorite key on the keyboard is "Enter" isn't it?

    2. Best reply ever!

  6. So....engage in PvP, lose at PvP, then claim it's not PvP....
    Attack the smallest sub cap with the biggest sub cap, claim it's a gank attempt...
    Attack the smallest sub cap with the biggest sub cap, claim to be the victim in an unfair fight...

  7. Proof that grinding missions and mining drives people insane. Only an absolutely crazy person would initiate PvP, then call it not PvP as it unfolds.

  8. "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times." ~Bruce Lee

  9. "A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on." ~John F. Kennedy

  10. "When I first proclaimed the Code nearly two and a half years ago, I estimated that it would take approximately eight years to bring everyone in highsec into full compliance. We're right on target." ~James 315

  11. "Gank them all, let James sort them out" ~ Hellyeaz

  12. Anon 9:41, 10:47, 10:49. There is always a PvP solution to your grief. (Ellie just happened to fail at it.)

  13. So Ellie was too lazy to learn about the game she is playing and all guilt about that goes to agents. This is somewhere between sad and pathetic. I'm carebear but even I got disgusted by her primitive reasoning.

  14. oh if only code would have the balls to go to low sec. They cry about miners in high sec, yet thats where they hide.

    1. CODE. has no interest in Lowsec or Nullsec, because there are no "carebears" whose routines need to be disrupted in Low or Nullsec. There is simply no need for The Code in Low or Nullsec, as everyone living there is already Code-compliant.

    2. "They cry about miners in high sec, yet thats where they hide."

      Actually if you look at the published mining stats for 2014, there is almost no mining conducted in lowsec. Most in highsec and null.

  15. A noble agent honors his ransom despite the carebear being mouthy and deserving to get blown up, and the AG crowd still cries lol.


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