Saturday, February 21, 2015

The Trial of Krimletch, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Highsec carebear Krimletch was discovered mining Veldspar without a permit. His Covetor was promptly destroyed. Our Agents sent him informational material about how to obey the Code in the future. The miner expressed his refusal in a series of increasingly hostile EVEmails, so he was invited to an informal private chat.


In the world of the carebear, everything is upside-down: The miner is the hero, the ganker is the villian, and the mining bot is the ideal. Our Agents sought to liberate Krimletch from that terrible world and show him a better one.


Krimletch seemed impervious to reason. Clearly, an informal private chat wasn't going to help this carebear.


Agent Lord Mandelor began to quietly invite additional Agents into the convo. Studies show that a convo with a higher Agent-to-carebear ratio have a greater chance of success. Krimletch needed all the help he could get.


As more Agents silently filed into the convo, the casual chat was escalated into a full-blown trial. To avoid putting undue stress on the miner, Krimletch was not made aware of the change.


Now the miner was on trial for his life in the game. Rather than go to the trouble of spelling out formal rules and roles, the trial consisted of various Agents questioning the carebear.


The former Covetor pilot remained surprisingly stubborn. He refused to admit that he was in the wrong. He defiantly blamed everyone else for the failure of his highsec mining career.


Critics sometimes accuse me of being self-aggrandizing or attention-seeking. But when a miner gets blown up for violating the Code, the complaint is that the New Order isn't visible enough. According to Krimletch, he needed to see much more publicity about my ownership of highsec. If I am space-famous, it is only to help the carebears--and at their own request.


Krimletch was on the ropes. He was unable to cope with the bombardment of piercing questions. To deflect attention from his own crimes, Krimletch put the whole system on trial. Also, the U.S. government.


But Krimletch's questioners remained laser-focused. Strip miners and ice harvesters ain't got nothin' on our Agents. It was only a matter of time before Krimletch slipped up. When it happened, everyone pounced on him.


It was the "I'm a new player" excuse. When Krimletch reached for it, his hand was caught in the cookie jar. In a panic, he made another crucial mistake.


If this had taken place on TeamSpeak, there would have been audible gasps. Without realizing it, Krimletch made a devastating admission. Now there was serious doubt about whether the miner would be reimbursed for his Covetor.

To be continued...

30 comments:

  1. Masterstroke after masterstroke from our comprehensively professional Agents; and subtly expert linking from our Supreme Protector. A joy!

    Also, Krimletch tied in knots.

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  2. You guys make me laugh keep em coming, been an eve player since 08 and still no permit we autopilot everywhere its in our corp mandate. :-) Even in lvl 4 missions armour tank while making a brew in a totally diff room. Then sit down blow up loads of ships and drink from the isk fountain.

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    Replies
    1. Wow, you guys really are steely eyed PVE dudes.

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  3. I like how mandelor contacts him to talk and it just seamlessly transforms into a court trial. This stuff is hilarious

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  4. "Kimletch > sorry, I forgot my mining ship was going to wreck havoc among the people in high sec
    Lord Mandelor > Not anymore it won't"

    LOL

    Mandelor bringing the gudfites and the lols

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    Replies
    1. hehe he seems like fun

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  5. Does Veers have no shame?

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  6. Which Classical philosophers can the miners count among their numbers?

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  7. I thought we were going to need Judge Oatmeal for this one, turns out it's going pretty well already!

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  8. Off topic here but how does one get a freighter through Uedama without getting destroyed by the Code? So many Providence' die there.

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    Replies
    1. To answer Anon7:51. Buy a permit, tank your freighter, and DO NOT FLY AFK. You can also open the map in game and check statistics to check activity in the systems you will be passing through.

      The big one though is NOT AUTOPILOTING. Far better to land at the gate at zero then jump, then land at 20Km and slowboat in while your watching the Kardashians.

      Also... once again. Buy a permit.

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    2. How many cargo expanders are considered a "no no" in respect to the CODE?

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    3. Open up EFT and take a look and judge for your self. Sure you can haul over a million M3 if you just fit cargo expanders, but your tank is crap. Better to up you defence ad make more runs. Over course if your afk and running autopilot, and running through a 0.5 system your toast in either case... that's just stupid and you get what you deserve.

      Speaking from Experience, I ran 5 freighter pilots at one time, all prior to me embracing CODE. I never was ganked, except once, and that was due to stupidity on my part and entering a 0.4 system and a gate camp. Bad move, but I was green. Learned my lesson. After that... never. All because I FLEW my ship. I was at the keyboard. And this is all pre-freighter buff.

      Bottom line is if you get ganked in high sec, your an idiot. Be at the controls. TALK to CODE pilots. Lots of them will give you the time of day and offer sound advice. Don't let laziness and overwhelming greed of ISK dictate your decisions. Easy stuff.

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  9. "Ming TsoFebruary 22, 2015 at 5:37 AM"
    Any success with reading yet?
    You should watch the documentary about psychopaths that makes out about 1% of the earth's population.
    Some of them do play games like EVE and would for sure kill IRL when nagged like you Code players do. It doesn't matter if you cry it's just a game to them, they won't care and still may kill you and your family.
    Think about that before you hunt for rage next time.
    This 1% are responsible for more than 50% of the earth's violence.

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    Replies
    1. A true sociopath/psychopath isn't sitting idle in a belt mining his or her brains out if they do play Eve. There are far more enriching activities to be done at the expense of others and the mechanics let them get away with it at the cost of a _tool_ which is what a ship equates to.

      That said, regardless of the disorder or cause, it is not Code nor CCP's role to compensate for the poor state of mental health treatment worldwide. CCP takes the responsible route of banning players who make real-world threats.

      Also remember that you are only seeing here the prime examples of someone flipping out at getting ganked. You do not see the interactions with players who willingly and happily buy permits to avoid ganking as long as they sit and actually play the game, tank their ships, and participate in other activities occasionally than mining or hauling.

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  10. A true psychopath would just knock on your real life door and hurt you, not scream and cry and give empty threats in local or private convo's.

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  11. "Critics sometimes accuse me of being self-aggrandizing or attention-seeking."
    jimmy boy ..... that's not an accusation it's a fact as plain as the nose on your face you silly boy.

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  12. Is there a CODE diplo still? Might have an operation for you guys to join in on. Need to talk in game.

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    Replies
    1. would help if you didn't post as anonymous

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    2. well i would not be anon in game would I? im an independent contractor and wont go public here. I am not CODE.

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    3. because you're afraid of reprisals from care bears?

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  13. I just love to log in here and read all about james and his minions and how much hate they generate in game, well untill they take it to far and end up banned that is.

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  14. I like how you guys thing I'm some sort of alt or something. I like how most of the convo was cropped out because most of this cultist replies were pathetic. You guys should have really added in the angry member who was swearing XD

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    Replies
    1. Welcome to Code bro, deceit and sociopathy are their calling cards. Don't worry though - eventually these jokers end up banned from the game and rotting in jail in RL...they are the scum of modern society.

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    2. Getting real tired of your shit fake Veers... It's true they all go to jail in RL because if you are the same person in RL as you are in a game you're gonna end up in prison for ganking miners at dig sites.

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  15. can't wait to see where this leads especially now that he's crying in the comments

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    Replies
    1. that's not even crying, I find this so hilarious LOL you're such a dumbass XD

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    2. Only crying i ever see is when a member of code gets banned, then there is plenty of tears coming from his/her partners in crime.

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    3. "I'm not crying"

      "Did you ever think I might be a new player?"

      "It's not a fight when the other ship isn't even combat geared"

      "You're a peasant"

      "I'm not crying"

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  16. hahahaha this Krimletch guy looks like he's trying really hard to be edgy but just failing miserably

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