Sunday, December 25, 2016

Kills of the Week

It's a special time in highsec. Each year at this time, EVE players put down their weapons, put aside their quarrels, and join together in harmony. Even the highsec carebears manage to stop making death threats as they link arms with New Order Agents and sing carols in a dramatic, heartwarming gesture of--


Oh, it's business as usual then. We shall maintain all our protocols and review extraordinary kills from the week of December 18th @ 00:00 EVEtime through December 24th @ 23:59 EVEtime.



The EVE subreddit has been breathlessly reporting huge victories for the Anti-Gankers almost on a daily basis now. The Kusions have been stopped! Uedama is completely secure! Code-hating Redditors furiously upvote the posts. But is there any truth to these reports?


It would take more than a Christmas miracle for the Anti-Gankers to stop failing.


Loopy Lou managed to lose 17.7 billion isk while hauling a vast library of blueprints through Uedama. Her Tengu was AFK and, though it had some weapons, it was not armed with a New Order permit. The Tengu's defenses were therefore easily penetrated by Agents Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, and Johnathan Kusion. Where was Anti-Ganking? Busy writing more fake news, I suppose.



Galator Taron thought he had it all figured out: A 0.9 security system, a cloaking device, some shield mods, some agility boosters, a damage control, a couple of warp core stabs. But--oh dear--the Code! He forgot all about the Code. His oversight wasn't missed by Agent Votre Dieu, who expertly sniped the ship with his Tornado.



Last weekend saw a fresh batch of comeuppance for highsec's arrogant Skiff pilots, who fell one-by-one before an impressive fleet of New Order gankers. Among the 10 billion isk death toll:


What is it with shield tanks being paired with yield mods in the lows? Talk about mixed messages! Sirex X was called to account for her crimes when the gank fleet arrived. She was either AFK or had nothing to say in her defense. She was therefore terminated by Agents Alt 00, Hulk Poddington, Alt Proxy, Skiff Poddington, Mack Poddington, Crom Cimmeria, Subotai Hyrkanian, Sir Demonic, Stieg Blomkvist, James Poddington, and Lawrence Lawton.



Yes, there are still people who pilot Hulks in highsec. silver Kouvo was tempting fate when she undocked in a Hulk with two ORE Strip Miners. Obviously Agents Carebears' Nightmare and Brutal Anna performed some elite PvP in taking her down, but even more impressive was the fact that this gank occurred simultaneously with the gank of silver's alt in a 656 million isk Hulk. silver's 577 million isk pod was also destroyed. In highsec, so much can happen in only a few seconds!



The Code has dramatically changed the way people spend their time in highsec. Under pressure from our Thrashers, more than 95% of autopiloting shuttles have switched to other modes of transportation. Hoedur was one of the hold-outs. His autopiloting Leopard was caught by Agent Tisiphone Dira.


4.7 billion isk worth of implants was instantly erased. During any week that X-FEANOR doesn't undock, that would easily be the Podkill of the Week. I mean, you have to make a really big mistake to lose a pod more expensive than this.



On Christmas Eve, Angels Blaze threw away his common sense and went AFK in a shuttle. Angels Blaze's pod was carrying 5 billion isk before Agent Aaaarrgg paid him a visit.


The carebear had been naughty, so Aaaarrgg had no choice but to leave him the killmail equivalent of a lump of coal.


Even the worst of highsec are learning. It's a slow process, but their hearts and minds are gradually being molded by the Code. Now that's a Christmas miracle.

18 comments:

  1. A good, Festive haul! I was particularly pleased (and impressed) by the Skiff slaughter. I've a keen dislike for them and their usually smug pilots. Well done Lawrence and the Crew!

    That Tengu, tho.....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey ag why you lie about stopping CODE?

    And remember, for all their pompous shit talking, ag is still just the group that followed Kalynn Sardini, reviled child murderer.

    How can anyone trust ag or that twat thomas en chastity? Their judgement is clearly flawed, and they should all be put away. For the sake of the children!

    Happy Holidays to everyone else! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a shitter in real life. Go play in traffic child.

      Delete
    2. Anonshitter 842 proves the point. You can't fix that kind of stupid.

      All ag should be banned from EVE until they can admit their indiscretions.

      842 is just another RL child murdering coward, like his mentor Kalynn.

      Delete
  3. Keep it up Kusion! Hard to believe you can still even operate with such hardball opposition! lmfao...


    -Oink

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "With such nutball child murdering shitter opposition!"

      Fixed.

      Delete
  4. Hey remember when all those ag cunts were all like "whatever you do in game is what you are in real life", and then they fail in game always and daily?

    Yea so there's that, and the infanticide. What a group of loser PHags.

    ��

    ReplyDelete
  5. Did loyalanon get his christmas wish of getting money for another set of accounts to just get rebanned?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This triggered carebear sounds like a PHag.

      Delete
    2. AG is still stuck on loyalanon while they fail nonstop daily. Best part is how they claim "Code is dead" on our blog while we gank on top of their faces.

      Delete
    3. All they can do is whine anonymously on our blog and post fake news on reddit.

      Delete
  6. Good grief, there's more spin in this post than there is in the average ship hangar. You know, a lot of PvP kills don't show up on zkillboard, especially if they don't involve ships. Destroyed POCOs don't. Destroyed mobile depots don't. Sometimes ship kills take ages to update zkillboard, if they show up at all. That's why killboard wankery is not a reliable measure of one's combat prowess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for visiting out blog to post your... Whatever that is you are whining about...
      It's no wonder you are so upset about zkill. You have quite an impressive loss board. Unless this is your alt and you are really an elite nullsec pvp pilot with powerful friends.
      Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior, James 315?

      Delete
    2. Wtf are you going on about anon412?

      Try to calm down miner.
      If you are trying to say that structure bashing is PVP then you are as stupid as the average bear.

      Now, take a deep breath and try again.

      Delete
  7. Hahahaha i never get tired of laughing at the lengths that ag go to to bullshit the eve community. Its like watching a 5 yr old stamping on the floor only they are 30+ years old. Hahahaha keep failing ag and keep up the tears in 2017.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hahahahaha antigankers claiming victory over code when its business as usual

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Were they really anti-gankers though?

      Delete

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