Thursday, December 22, 2016

Why They Hate the Code, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... We became even more enlightened about those who hate the Code.

VII. The Conspiracy Theorist

"They don't care about any Code. They're doing this to control the economy."

The New Order is the most transparent organization in EVE history. To put it mildly, there's an abundance of material explaining our goals and documenting how we achieve them. In spite of this transparency--or perhaps because of it--our enemies have long searched for ulterior motives, to find the "real" reasons why we do what we do. The Conspiracy Theorist believes he has found the truth, and with it a reason to oppose the Code.

To understand the Conspiracy Theorist, we must first realize how little knowledge the highsec carebear has about the world outside of highsec. In my experience, the average carebear has at any given time the capacity to be aware of only three alliances outside of his own carebear universe. Two of those three alliances will always be CODE. and Goonswarm Federation. The third alliance will depend on the current state of nullsec. In the early days of the New Order, TEST took the third position; today, PL is more likely to get that spot.

Because the Conspiracy Theorist has so little information at his disposal, the picture he creates is necessarily limited--like someone trying to solve a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle while having possession of only three or four pieces. Thus, all Conspiracy Theorists' theories are similar: Basically, that CODE. is secretly helping nullsec alliances to take control of highsec by influencing the economy.

It's natural that a carebear would come up with a theory like this. The carebear is fixated on isk, so he assumes everyone else thinks in those same terms. "Why would someone gank a miner unless he was somehow making a massive profit?" he asks. His mind cannot grasp the benevolence of the Code.

Another reason the Conspiracy Theorist looks to nullsec for answers is that he yearns to be included in the great story of EVE. At heart, even the most solitary carebear wishes he could be part of something greater. Of course, in a way he is: The New Order converts the carebear into content. The carebears are part of a great story; it's the greatest one in EVE and has nothing to do with nullsec--the story of the Code.

Still, the Conspiracy Theorist cannot stand the idea that nullsec powers are trying to control and manipulate him to their ends. He must resist the conspiracy, and therefore he must resist the Code.

VIII. The Internet Tough Guy

"If I ever met you in real life I'd beat the [feces] out of you."

We all know that highsec miners are at the bottom of EVE's food chain. Even the miners know it. If a miner has a big ego, he becomes torn between his desire to mine and his desire not to be something puny and weak. As we saw with the Self-Denying Miner, some miners resolve this conflict by identifying as something other than a miner. Specifically, the Self-Denying Miner identifies with his (real or imagined) PvP main. The Internet Tough Guy does something very similar: He declares himself to be a brawler in real life. His out-of-game persona is his PvP main.

And so, even as his mining barge gets batted around by bumpers like a ball of yarn, he spits out his threats. The Internet Tough Guy's Retriever may lack weapons, but he consoles himself by thinking about his real-life fists and any weapons he may own. He may also remind himself of his inherent Russian greatness.

Because of his ego, the Internet Tough Guy can't back down in local chat or EVEmails, no matter how powerless he may be in-game. He knows that a fail-fit Mackinaw, if piloted by someone who could beat you up in real life, is truly a force to be reckoned with. Surrendering 10 million isk is beneath him.

IX. The Control Freak

"When you pay for my EVE subscription, then you can tell me what to do."

One of the great mysteries of highsec is why a miner will spend hundreds of millions of isk on replacement ships, but won't spend 10 million isk for a permit to avoid being ganked on the first place. Even more curious is a miner's willingness to spend billions of isk on bling and implants to improve his efficiency, only to die for lack of the same 10 million isk permit. For the Control Freak, the answer is simple: The whole point of EVE is that no one can tell him what to do.

While the Common Bot-Aspirant avoids contact with other players because he sees it as an unnecessary distraction, the Control Freak doesn't mind other players unless they attempt to exert influence over him. For the Control Freak, EVE is an escape from a life of following someone else's orders; it's not uncommon for a Control Freak to compare our Agents to their overbearing boss. Needless to say, when they first encounter the Code, it is an unwelcome surprise.

Non-miners are puzzled when they hear highsec carebears complain that nullsec mining is safer than highsec mining in addition to being more lucrative. If this were true, then one would expect all those highsec miners to immediately move to nullsec. But the Control Freak avoids nullsec like the plague because he doesn't want to be constrained by the rules of a nullsec corp or alliance.

In highsec, the Control Freak believes he has found a place where he can do things exactly how he wants, with absolutely no oversight or criticism or possibility of failure. He finds it "relaxing". And while this is less unhealthy than getting the same feeling from anorexia or cutting himself, it is impractical: The miner is no more free from rules in highsec than he is in Goon-controlled nullsec, because the space is spoken for. Highsec is ruled by the New Order. Those who crave total independence can go find a wormhole or something.

To be continued...


  1. Wow . . . four entire days of boring yawnfest . . . and it's *still* continued? ::rolls eyes::

  2. I know right? Somebody gank me before I die of boredom. I'm pretty sure this qualifies as bot aspirancy.

  3. Replies
    1. ... or they're just having a real slow week.

  4. This is perhaps the meatiest post of the series so far, for me. We're now right under the skin of some of the most intransigent of Highsec's carebear population - not a pleasant place.

    But with James' deft touch and a bit of Christmas compassion, it's easy to see that the miner/carebear is indeed a pitiable creature.

    Ice Slicer's comment, in particular, displays quite advanced insight, for a carebear; yet she falls at the first hurdle of the Self-Improvement Stakes by using it as a reason not to buy a Permit. Odd.

    The negative comments above mine are typical of another 'type', if you will. The person who, while deriding the New Order, James 315 and all their works, nevertheless returns time and again to the site to read and to comment, apparently quite oblivious that his/her bot-like behaviour is on display for the further entertainment of all New Order members and supporters worldwide.

    Another conundrum.

    1. Rather like the non-stop way that CODE keeps deriding the AG community? One would think that if a particular subset was sneeringly beneath a person(s)' and/or groups' contempt they should be ignored, rather than, time and time again, continually mentioned. Unless . . .

      Unless, that is, the anti-criminal/AG influence has a much greater impact on CODE than they desire Eve to know.

    2. Half of it is making them feel like they're wasting their time (they are) and the other half is it's hilarious how shitty and incompetent they are, they've made me fail maybe 2-3 ganks all year? And that's hundreds of hours of them sitting there watching me gank shit. They have almost no impact tbh.

    3. Hi, Anon 1:58, just popping in here during the run-up to the festive season to point out that I never sneer (c.f. BELVAR, Veers) and am very rarely contemptuous (and that, only of outright fools).

      "the miner/carebear is indeed a pitiable creature" (italics for specific ref. and emphasis).

      Neither 'mockery' nor 'scorn' have anything like the same meaning as 'pity'.

      'Anonymous', however, will be clearly understood by both of us, in the context of this comment section; "I don't want you to know who I am - even as an avatar in a video game - because I'm scared about what might happen to me."

      I think that covers it?

  5. Lets face it , anything is better than mining in eve.

  6. There's this little gem in the forums today:

    1. Damn, ISD locked it before the tears started overflowing.

  7. Here is why I hate the CODE.

    You guys recruit the biggest dipshits in the game like loyalanon which couldn't live without harassing other players daily. He received his prize of a lifetime ban for his accomplishments.

  8. Shhhh here we have the anonymous salty miner in his natural habitat the forum. As you see they are full of salt and are paranoid skitchy creatures who startle easy. They are known primarily for only scratching asteroids in eve online and refuse to talk to other real players unless salvage or ore is being traded. Stay tuned as we go deep inside the anonymous salty miner in future episodes.

  9. But where oh where is Ming?


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