Friday, December 2, 2016

Nullsec Renters in the New Highsec

Rebels and skeptics often ask, "Why doesn't the New Order go gank the nullsec renters? They're the ones who use mining bots." Actually, we do gank them. We gank nullsec renters all the time--when they come to highsec and violate the Code.


Clara Henkel was originally a highsec miner. She decided to seek her fortune in nullsec by joining notorious renter alliance Brothers of Tangra. Still, she made use of highsec from time to time. She was caught hauling her ill-gotten goods by Agent Semtex Attor, who sent her a standard EVEmail telling her about the Code. Clara carefully considered this new information and penned a reply.
Re: Notice of Service
From: Clara Henkel
Sent: 2016.10.29 04:44
To: Semtex Attor,

dafuk are you sending me this toilet paper. you fucking faggot. die from cancer bitch
The miner was skeptical about the relevance of the Code and its application to her life.
Re: Notice of Service
From: Semtex Attor
Sent: 2016.10.29 04:45
To: Clara Henkel,

Miner, calm down. Just make sure you get a permit before undocking in a new ship in James 315 space!

If you want me to send you a permit, just transfer the Isk. Thank you in advance!
When miners rely on their emotions, they tend to make poor decisions. Semtex tried to get Clara to focus by asking her to calm down. Come to think of it, maybe the standard form EVEmail sent to gank recipients should begin with "Miner, calm down."
Re: Notice of Service
From: Clara Henkel
Sent: 2016.10.29 04:48
To: Semtex Attor,

FUCK
YOU
FAGGOT
I
HOPE
YOU
AND
ALL
YOUR
FAMILY
TREE
WILL
DIE
IN
ACCIDENT
It appeared that the miner's attempt to calm down was unsuccessful.
Re: Notice of Service
From: Semtex Attor
Sent: 2016.10.29 04:58
To: Clara Henkel,

Watch your blood pressure! A permit will save the day though!
Most people don't know it, but there are many scientific studies about the negative health effects of anger. Our Agents strive to improve miners in every way possible. Not all of us are technically doctors, but still.
Re: Notice of Service
From: Clara Henkel
Sent: 2016.10.29 05:00
To: Semtex Attor,

i hope ccp will ban all this faggots like you. fucking donkeys
Clara reflected on the exchange she'd just had with Agent Semtex. She was sure that CCP would disapprove of Semtex's conduct.
Re: Notice of Service
From: Semtex Attor
Sent: 2016.10.29 05:04
To: Clara Henkel,

I hope you get a permit quick enough so you can fly safe in James 315 space and don't lose anything like this again: Kill: Clara Henkel (Mammoth).

I can offer you some Women's 'Outlaw' Boots (Blood Raiders) still, but that will add up to the 10 million isk....
Clara still needed a mining permit. Agent Semtex was willing to sell her one, along with some mining permit accessories. (Our Agent wasn't aggressive with the upselling, though.)
Re: Notice of Service
From: Clara Henkel
Sent: 2016.10.29 05:09
To: Semtex Attor,

i hope you get an ass cancer
The miner allowed her passions to rule her. So far, it didn't look like a mining permit was in the cards. Was Clara a Goofus?
Re: Notice of Service
From: Clara Henkel
Sent: 2016.10.29 05:18
To: Semtex Attor,

just die idiot
Some careless words were spoken. Semtex quickly asked Clara to clarify that she only wanted him to die in-game.
Re: Notice of Service
From: Clara Henkel
Sent: 2016.10.29 05:32
To: Semtex Attor,

just die idiot. in real life. you and all your childrens when they born. they will be a genetic trash coz of you
At this point, Agent Semtex determined that a more personal touch was needed. He invited her to join him on TeamSpeak to discuss the matter in a more relaxed environment.
Re: Notice of Service
From: Clara Henkel
Sent: 2016.10.29 05:52
To: Semtex Attor,

i don't wanna talk with faggot people like you. keep masturbating on stupid suicide kill
Sadly, Clara wasn't interested in maintaining a dialogue with Semtex, much less opening a new one with whatever Agents might've been on TeamSpeak at the moment. The miner stopped sending new EVEmails. One can only hope she stops violating the Code, too.

2 comments:

  1. Nasty little renter, this one; probably terminally unhappy, paying through the nose to eke out a living in someone else's space. What a sad life.

    It's a good thing Agent Semtex was able to point her in the right direction.

    Of course, you can lead a horse to water...

    ReplyDelete

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