Monday, January 23, 2017

Twilight of the Pods, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Vrix Nation corp lived a simple truth: The Code prohibits autopiloting pods in highsec. But the gankers of Vrix soon came into conflict with carebears who had other ideas. Other ideas, but no more implants.


Entitled carebears believe highsec should be a "safe space" for pod autopiloting. Then the real world comes to them in the form of a Thrasher and smacks them in face.


Gratitude is in short supply in highsec. But CODE. pilots don't feed off of the approval of bot-aspirants. They're energized by the Code.


It's not always easy to communicate with Code violators; they say a lot of confusing things. Our Agents generally give them the benefit of the doubt. For instance, Icecolder apparently understood that highsec was destined to have a Saviour, even if he didn't grasp the way that Saviour would manifest himself.


Other perplexing EVEmails can safely be ignored. Our Agents are busy, so they must prioritize.


After enough experience with the carebears, one begins to speak their language--or at least understand it. Kate Iowa warned that if autopiloting pods continue to be ganked, EVE will lose subscribers.


Back when CCP cared about EVE Online, they promoted the game by telling potential players that they'd get to take part in massive nullsec fleet battles. According to carebears, the thing that really brings in the players is autopiloting a pod in highsec. CCP's advertising department really missed the mark.


Assuming Jona Zirud is referring to in-game death, his hopes are more easily realized that he knows. CONCORD kills all our gankers.


Almost all carebears issue empty threats, but the least convincing threats come from people who lack a ship.


Rest assured, Alee Sarion was well taken care of by our complaints department.


As our Agents can tell you, there are certain words and phrases that carebears from all across highsec use over and over. If Miner Bingo ever needs another update, two guesses at what would earn a square.


The New Order complaints department serves another useful purpose: By absorbing carebears' complaints, it saves the GMs a little work. They're already swamped with frivolous petitions, after all.


Garrot Tsero's employment history proves that he didn't actually quit EVE. In fact, there's no evidence that ganking drives people away from the game. But even if it did, would we really lose anything, if the quitters only played EVE to autopilot in their pods?


Grier Eutychus was thankful for the gank he received. Was this the glimmer of hope our Agents were looking for?

To be continued...

7 comments:

  1. But where oh where is Ming?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm still busy trying to get my head out of Jamie boys ass and being fucked in the ass by my boyfriend wolf :)

      Delete
  2. You ag's are some twisted fuckers!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Damn antigankers are so salty but I guess failing non-stop daily continuously ALL the time would do that to someone (kalynn)!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Antigankers are coming out of the closet now. Please calm your sexual fantasies down.

    ReplyDelete

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